Control II
by Ryous lil Tenshi
Summary: Oh no, I TOTALLY don't know what this is... Yeah, it's a sequel. Couldn't think of a better title. Ryou and Bakura are planning their big wedding when they meet a minor setback. Well, a few setbacks, actually, and one definitely isn't minor...
1. Chapter 1

I know. -.-' YES FOLKS! THE SEQUEL! And there WILL be drama! XD What's the point of having a Dramaless Control (Or Control II in this case)? Yeah.

Um, let's see. There's so much sex in here it should be on aff. net, but meh. It doesn't actually sound dirty. Hehehe.

Disclaimer: I don't own YGO. Deal with it.

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Ryou hummed lightly to himself as he walked down the sun-drenched sidewalk. It was very warm for a March day, and he was sweating inside his blue coat. He had unbuttoned the royal blue jacket, but was still very hot, so he had taken off the coat completely, and it hung over on arm. A happy feeling rose higher in the teenager's heart as he walked down the street, a perfect little road in the heart of suburbia. Ryou had forgotten what living in a house in such an area really felt like. No loud cars rushing past at some ungodly hour of the night, no more blaring amber streetlights in his bedroom when he tried to sleep, and best of all, no _stairs_ to have to climb. Yes, his house with Bakura wasn't as big as most of the sprawls on the street, but Ryou didn't need a big house, especially as he was the person who had to clean up after Bakura on a daily basis. Ryou smiled despite himself, lowering his eyes to his left hand, clasped on his school case. The five carat diamond ring winked back up at him, illuminated in the bright sunlight. The teenager never thought that he would be able to get used to the sheer size and value of the ring on his finger. He'd told Jounouchi that Bakura had been cheap and bought cubic zirconium, but he could tell the blonde didn't buy it.

Ryou swung the white picket gate, letting himself in. The cobblestone path contrasted sharply with the emerald grass, which was dotted with the odd daisy. His own house. The whitenette grinned, and opened the blue-painted door, stepping inside his home. He sighed, instantly cooling in the shadowed entrance room. _That's so much better._ Ryou hung his up his coat, and untied his shoes, padding softly into the living room. Just as he predicted, Bakura was snoozing, stretched out on the long black leather couch that took up almost a whole wall of the lounge. Ryou's face broke into a grin, and he set his school case down against the wall before heading towards the yami. The fluffy white rug was soft against his feet, warmer than the polished wooden floorboards underneath. Gently, Ryou sank to his knees, so he was eye level with the sleeping Bakura. He stared at the spirit for a long time, watching the way sunbeams lit up stray white hairs, which moved slightly with each soft breath. He looked strangely innocent when he slept, and it made Ryou's heart ache. He didn't know why, it just did. Ryou smiled, and gently leaning forward, began to kiss Bakura's lips. The touch was feather light, and deceptively innocent. Ryou leaned forward and began to strengthen the pressure of the kiss, his long white fingers brushing Bakura's chest, exposed by his open shirt. The teenager grinned, feeling the frame beneath him shift, Bakura groaning into Ryou's now open mouth.

"What the…" Bakura blinked, still half asleep. Ryou lifted his lips away from the yami, still catching his breath. Bakura's foggy eyes cleared, and he stared up at the angelic face hovering over him. "Ryou." He breathed, the corners of his mouth twitching in a smile. Ryou giggled, and placed another kiss on Bakura's lips. This time, the spirit responded, rolling over slightly to grab at Ryou's waist. He linked his arms around the teens' slender frame, and pulled Ryou up unto the couch. The younger male cried out softly in surprise, which turned into a long, low moan as Bakura's experienced hands began to slide underneath his shirt. Ryou's fingers tangled in the spirits hair as he took charge, pushing himself into a more vertical position with Ryou's long legs straddling his waist. He moved his hands to the small of Ryou's back, holding the light upright as he deepened the kiss, his tongue dancing with Ryou's. The teenager was gasping for breath between passionate kisses, his long white digits tightening in Bakura's long hair further with every moment.

"B-Bakura." Ryou managed to moan hoarsely, ten minutes later. The yami chuckled, and began to nibble on the junction of Ryou's neck. The teen cried out, arching his back at the sensation. Bakura's breath caught in his throat as the action brought their groins together, and gritted his teeth, raising his lips back up to Ryou's mouth. "N-Not now." The younger whitenette gasped before Bakura could kiss him again. "W-Wait until tonight." Bakura paused, but nodded, and Ryou slumped into him, nuzzling his pale neck. "Thanks." He mumbled, curling his slender form into Bakura's chest. The spirit chuckled at Ryou, who smiled, closing his eyes.

"I love you baby." Bakura buried his nose in the light's hair. Sure, the sex was wonderful, and grew better with each passing day, as Ryou's experience and knowledge grew, but it was moments like this that really made his heart melt. With Ryou in his arms, both relaxed and comfortable, during those quiet afternoons. Ryou smiled softly, letting his legs dangle over the side of the couch.

"I love you too, Bakura."

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Ryou squeaked, jumping up from his algebra homework as the door to his study shut with a loud _slam_! Bakura raised an eyebrow at the skitterish young boy, and stalked over to Ryou, standing behind him as he resumed his algebra homework.

"I can't go to bed right now, Bakura." Ryou said softly, staring down at his homework. "I'm sorry, but these questions have to be done by tomorrow."

"And?" Bakura pouted in pretence. "What about me? I have to be done by tomorrow too, if you know what I mean…" Ryou blushed, placing an elbow on his desk and his forehead on his palm.

"Not now." He whined, struggling to concentrate on the difficult questions in front of him. "I'm busy." Bakura sighed, and let his fingers drop to Ryou's shoulders. The teenager gasped, eyes widening at the contact, and bit his lip. "'Kura…"

"You're so tense." Bakura leaned down to whisper in Ryou's ear. The whitenette froze, and couldn't help but moan as the spirit began to massage the muscles in Ryou's shoulders and upper back, closing his eyes.

"K-'Kura…" Ryou sighed, his elbow slipping off the desk. "Please… My homework…" Bakura grinned, and in one sweep, sent Ryou's books, paper, pencils, and calculator flying. Ryou cried out softly in annoyance, and pouted, sticking out his lower lip for all it was worth. Bakura smirked, and tilted Ryou's chair back, nibbling on the light's lower lip before Ryou had a chance to react. The spirit moved his hands to Ryou's back and legs, lifting the light out of the chair and into his arms, still kissing those soft sweet lips. Ryou was moaning, and struggling half-heartedly, but Bakura ignored the actions, choosing instead to set his little lover on the desk, Ryou's back pressed firmly against the wall. After struggling for a few more minutes, Ryou gave up, and chose to submit, opening his mouth to accept the yami's entrance. Bakura groaned deep in the back of his throat in triumph, ravaging the boy's mouth as he grabbed at the hem of Ryou's shirt. The light returned the kiss in his own shy, sensitive way, winding his slim arms around the yami's neck. Bakura groaned, sliding his hands to Ryou's thighs, and pulled the white-haired teen closer towards him. Ryou gasped as Bakura shoved him down on the table, and hopped onto the wood, straddling Ryou's stomach. He leaned down and continued to ravage Ryou's mouth and neck, the younger crying out in pleasure, his hands curled in Bakura's hair.

Bakura was kissing Ryou heatedly as he began to fiddle with the zipper on the lights jeans, not bothering to remove his shirt. Ryou moaned, and arched his back as his pants and boxers were tugged down, cold air hitting his newly exposed skin. Bakura tugged the trousers down until they hung at Ryou's ankles, staring at long creamy legs. Ryou was gasping for air, limp and slack against the table as he panted, his legs hung over the side of the tabletop. Bakura yanked at his own lower garments hurriedly, hissing as his semi-erect shaft sprang free. Ryou whimpered softly, and closed his eyes. Bakura leaned forward, and began nibbling on Ryou's neck, the teen crying out in pleasure. He grinned, and gently bucked his hips against Ryou, who gasped, brown eyes snapping open. Bakura repeated the motion, holding the teenager by the arms, which were trembling. Ryou moaned, arching his neck as he enjoyed the sensation. _O-Ohh_… He ran his hands along Bakura's stomach, moving up to his muscled back underneath the shirt. Ryou gritted his teeth as Bakura bucked against his hips a third time, digging his nails into the yami's skin.

Bakura's kisses were oddly soft and soothing as he stroked Ryou's inner thighs, the light groaning in response. He tried to relax his rear as much as he could, to prepare himself for the looming intrusion, helped along by Bakura's gentle passion. The yami gently slid a finger inside Ryou's passage, who screamed softly and arched his back in discomfort. Bakura bit his lip, and continued to kiss Ryou with his heated excitement, exploring the teen's mouth as he inserted another finger. Ryou whimpered, his nails digging in deeper to Bakura's back. The spirit gently parted his two fingers embedded in Ryou, stretching the tight muscles. The boy cried out softly into Bakura's mouth, and screwed his eyes shut, tears clinging to his lashes. Bakura bit his lip, but dug his fingers deeper into Ryou, searching for his hidden bundle of nerves. He was used to tears at this point- Ryou often cried and screamed, but Bakura knew that the younger male loved it.

Ryou screamed, and arched his back, bucking his hips as Bakura found his prostate, and began to gently massage the pleasurable spot, earning a fresh moan from Ryou. Bakura smirked, his mouth still attached to Ryou's sweet lips, his free hand bracing his weight beside the teen's shoulder. Ryou was shaking as Bakura continued to rub his prostate, ragged gasps tearing from his throat. Bakura smirked as Ryou trembled in pleasure, and began to insert another finger. Ryou hissed, and tightened his closed eyes. Bakura continued his preparation, his arousal growing more painful from Ryou's moans and cries. Finally, he slid his fingers out of Ryou's passage, the teenager gasping, and sweat beading his forehead. Bakura chuckled and settled back, brushing Ryou's damp bangs out of his eyes before spreading his legs further.

"Put your feet up on the table." Bakura commanded, staring down into bleary chocolate eyes. Ryou nodded, and drew his legs up to the side of the table, his trousers still at his ankles. The yami settled himself between Ryou's smooth creamy legs, and taking a deep breath, began to slide his shaft into Ryou's passage. The light cried out, digging in his nails deeper into Bakura's back. Bakura gritted his teeth, and pushed himself further inside of the teenager. Ryou was moaning and gasping, his head falling to one side. Bakura attacked the exposed skin, sucking and nibbling with his sharp teeth. Ryou screamed, and arched his neck, his limbs shaking.

"O-Oh, B-Bakura…" Ryou moaned, and cried out as Bakura slid himself deeper inside the teen. "O-Oh G-Gosh…" Bakura chuckled, still abusing that small patch of skin. Finally, Bakura had buried himself in Ryou to the hilt, the light whimpering and softly crying. He broke his lips from Ryou's skin in concern, and began to lightly kiss Ryou's lips, occasionally pausing to lick at a long trail of salt. He always felt bad at this point, guilty about hurting Ryou, although the boy assured him that it was perfectly fine, and that Bakura was wonderful.

"I'm sorry." Bakura sighed, leaning forward to whisper in the boys' ear. Ryou swallowed, and shook his head, smiling. "You okay?" Ryou nodded, and released the pressure on Bakura's back a little, relaxing more. Bakura lowered his hands, pressing them against the wood of the table, and withdrew himself a little from Ryou's passage, and then thrust himself into the light, Ryou arching his back and screaming. Bakura bit his lip again, but repeated the motion, groaning softly in pleasure. Ryou was so damn tight and hot… Ryou moaned, and wrapped his legs around the yami's waist. Bakura slammed into the teenager, who screamed as the spirit crushed their hips together with a bruising force, his eyes shut. Bakura gritted his teeth, and began to work himself into a rhythm, spurred on by Ryou's moans and cries of mixed pleasure and pain. The yami's hair fell over Ryou's face and shoulders as he leaned forward more, his nose only an inch from the teen. Ryou's nails dug even deeper into pale skin, beginning to draw blood. Bakura gritted his teeth, and continued to thrust in and out of the teenager, each slam into Ryou's slim hips sending a fresh shockwave of pleasure through his body. Ryou was a mess, his sweat-drenched form trembling as Bakura drove himself inside of Ryou again and again, each time earning long moans, and the occasional scream from the teenager. Bakura smirked, and grabbed Ryou's erect member in one hand, pumping the organ in time with his thrusts. The light was moaning, in absolute bliss as Bakura continued his ministrations.

"O-Ohh…" Ryou gasped. "K-Kura…" He whimpered, dangerously close to his orgasm. Bakura gently kissed Ryou on his parted lips, and the whitenette opened his eyes staring into mahogany-crimson orbs just a few inches above him. Bakura grinned, baring his canines, and crushed his lips with Ryou as he slammed into the light from tip to hilt, driving Ryou over the edge. He screamed, and dragged his nails down Bakura's back as he came, every nerve of his body exploding in pleasure. Bakura gritted his teeth as Ryou's heat tightened around his shaft, the action causing the demon to explode. The yami swore he saw a flash of white as he slumped into Ryou, still kissing him with a heated passion.

"F-Fuck Ryou." Bakura groaned a few moments later, his hands curling in the boys' hair. Ryou was shaking as he slid his own hand down to the desk, unaware that his fingers were dripping with blood. "You're bloody amazing." He gasped, resting his forehead against Ryou. The teen sighed, lax against the wood. His long legs slid over the side of the desk, and tangled with the yami. Bakura panted, and buried his head in Ryou's neck. The pair lay that way for a long time, their pale limbs entwined, lips occasionally meeting in a heated kiss.

"Kura…" Ryou finally sighed fifteen minutes later. Bakura lifted his head, detaching his lips from Ryou's neck. "K-Kura, I think we should get up." He wriggled slightly in discomfort, his spine crushed against the wood. Bakura nodded, and swung his leg over Ryou before sliding off the desk. He leaned against the wood for awhile, still trying to regain his breath. Bakura bent down, and pulled his pants back up to his waist, buttoning them up. Ryou weakly sat up, pulled back up his pants. Bakura smiled weakly, and stood up, extending a hand to Ryou. He took it, and smiled gratefully.

"You okay?" Bakura looked down at Ryou, who was leaning against the yami's chest. He blearily nodded, staring down at his hands for the first time, and the blood.

"Oh…" He said softly, biting his lip. "I-I'm sorry 'Kura." Bakura chuckled, and cradled the boy close to his chest.

"Don't be." He muttered, resting his chin on Ryou's fluffy white head. The light sighed happily. "You know me, Bakura the masochist."

Ryou giggled.

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Ryou leaned back in the hard plastic chair, idly swinging his long legs childishly. Malik's plane was going to be here any minute now. The warm bubbly feeling rose higher in his chest as he stared out the large windows. _Oh my..._ There was no way around it. Ryou was excited. Ecstatic. Instead of the arranged five months, it had been ten weeks, and Malik had decided to come back to Japan. He'd missed Ryou too much to stay away, and swore that he'd be able to keep his feelings for the white-haired males under control. Isis had called the house-sitter a week ago, and given her the needed six weeks notice, and until then, Ryou had graciously offered his guest bedroom for his Egyptian friend for five weeks. Bakura was skeptical at first, still thinking of the kiss, but eventually caved in. After all, it would be nice to have someone around the house during the day, to play video games with and get drunk with and order around. Ryou smiled. _Come on, Malik, how long is your plane going to take? Please don't tell me there aren't any delays_… He drummed his fingers on his knees, looking up at the ceiling. _Come on Malik..._ Ryou stood up and started to pace the floor. He wasn't worried, he just wanted Malik to get here. He'd gone for over two months without seeing his friend, and it was killing him inside, really. Ryou sighed. E-mailing Malik wasn't the same as seeing him in the flesh. He wanted to see the Egyptian.

"Ryou." The whitenette froze, his heart skipping a voice. _I know that voice_. Ryou spun around, a wide smile on his face. He ran, flinging himself into a pair of open arms, tears brimming in his eyes as he hugged the teenager for all he was worth.

"Malik," He almost sobbed. "I've missed you so much."

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"So, where's Bakura then?" Malik asked, huffing as he dragged his suitcase along with him, entering the parking lot. Ryou smiled, lugging a heavy backpack and a case in one hand. He pointed at the Mercedes, which was parked at the end of the first row. Malik's mouth fell open, and dropped lower and lower as the pair walked towards the car. "Ryou… That's a Mercedes." The light grinned.

"I know." He giggled as they reached the shiny black automobile. "Isn't it nice? You have to admit, Bakura gets a lot more respect on the roads in it." He popped the trunk, and heaved the case and backpack inside. Malik followed suit, still in shock.

"So, how did Bakura steal it then?" Malik frowned.

"He didn't."

"Stole the money?"

"Nope."

"Wait." He snapped his fingers. "He stole something, sold it, and then bought the car legit."

"Got it." Bakura stuck his head out of the window and grinned. "Diamonds. Ryou's wearing one of them on his finger. Now get in the car, both of you, or I'll drive off." Ryou squeaked, and jumped into the car, and Malik slid into the back seat, marveling at the black leather interior.

"Nice, man." He commented, leaning forward to look at the front seats. "Good catch." Bakura grinned. "But… What do you mean, diamonds? And why is Ryou wearing one? Engagement ring?"

"Told you so." Ryou grinned, extending his left hand. "The biggest diamond of all. What do you reckon?" Malik took the whitenette's hand, staring at the ring in shock.

"No, way." He said lowly, as Bakura drove out of the parking lot. "This is… Ryou, it's a fake. It has to be." Ryou shook his head, grinning. "That's got to be at least five carats!"

"Five-point-two-four." Bakura corrected, with a smirk. "Completely colourless, and a premium cut and clarity, in a platinum band." Ryou giggled. "Hey, shut up, boy." Malik sighed, leaning back and staring at the pair, bantering softly. _They are really so cute. I was right, they are perfect for each other. I'm glad they finally managed to realize that. It's so odd how two people so different could fall in love. They complement each other perfectly_. Malik yawned, and curled into the upholstery. He was jet-lagged, and bitterly tired…

Within ten minutes, the Egyptian was asleep.

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Ryou sighed, sliding off his socks. Malik was asleep in the guest bedroom -Bakura actually had to carry him, he was in such a deep, exhausted sleep- dead to the world, and Bakura had already stripped down to his boxers, sitting expectantly on the bed with a bottle of lubricant in one hand, and a blindfold in the other. Ryou blushed and giggled as he slid off his jeans, his shirt discarded on the floor beside the denim.

"You know." Ryou crawled onto the king-sized bed (Another new purchase, thanks to Bakura's heist) "I am starting to have a little bit of an… Idea." He finished, a small smile spreading across his face. Bakura raised an eyebrow as Ryou crawled closer to him, finally stopping on his knees, a strange grin on his face.

"What." Bakura narrowed his eyes. Ryou giggled, and before the demon had a change to react, snatched the blindfold and lubricant from the spirit's hands, and pushed him onto the bed with a fierce kiss. Bakura's eyes widened in shock, and he gasped at the forward movement. Ryou continued to kiss him heatedly for a long time, running his tongue over Bakura's lips before he resigned to the kiss, opening his mouth and accepting Ryou's intrusion.

"How about…" Ryou whispered as he broke away from Bakura's lips. "_You_ be the one that has to wear the blindfold, and _I_ can drive." The yami blinked, and his mouth fell open. "_If_ you say yes…" Ryou traced a finger, from the hand that held the blindfold, down Bakura's bare chest. "Tomorrow, I'll let you do anything you want." Ryou leaned forward, and began to nibble on Bakura's earlobe, the yami crying out. "Anything." He murmured, lifting his head and looking Bakura in the eye. The spirit's mouth fell open further. Oh, he _loved_ it when Ryou was in a frisky mood like this.

"Do you even have to ask?" Bakura chuckled. Ryou grinned, and then sat up, setting the lubricant aside and stretching the black blindfold in his hands. The teenager leaned down and planted a hungry kiss on Bakura's lips, firmly tying the blindfold around the yami's eyes as he did so. Ryou took a deep breath as he broke apart from the kiss, and climbed over to his bedside table, where he kept a hair band that he wore at night to keep his hair tidy. The younger whitenette tied his long locks into a simple ponytail at the back of his head to keep it out of his face. If he was going to surprise his lover, then he couldn't have his hair in the way. Biting his lip, Ryou crawled back to the spirit, who simply lay on his back, waiting for Ryou's touch. "What are you planning?" He asked after a few minutes, turning his face in what he thought was the direction Ryou was sitting in. Ryou giggled cutely and hovered over the yami on all fours, staring down at Bakura's chest. _I have the sexiest fiancée ever, I swear._ He sighed, and then without warning, pounced, and began to suck and nibble on a section of Bakura's collarbone. The spirit gasped in shock, and arched his neck, closing his eyes. _He's been learning off me._ Bakura mused, simply lying back and enjoying Ryou's soft touch. He groaned as the whitenette began running his deft bony fingers up Bakura's sides, the elder jumping slightly as Ryou touched his sensitive skin. Just as Bakura was getting into it, however, the teens' soft touches vanished. Bakura frowned as Ryou lifted his head away, who stared down at the demon, biting his lip thoughtfully. _Where to next? Ooohh, I know_! Ryou giggled, and Bakura tensed at the sound, staring warily at where he thought Ryou was located. The light smiled, and pounced again, this time heading towards one of Bakura's nipples. The spirit gasped as Ryou began to roll the sensitive flesh between his teeth, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers. Ryou slid the satin undergarment down Bakura's toned thighs, while he continued to stimulate Bakura's hard nub with his teeth. The yami arched his back and closed his eyes, starting to pant. This was deceptively good. Was this really Ryou on top of him? His heels dug into the bed, and he suppressed a moan. Ryou lifted his mouth from Bakura's chest, and stared his naked form down. Bakura groaned softly, and propped himself up on his elbows. Ryou scooted back, and grinned.

"Where did you go?" Bakura stared around, biting his lip. Ryou giggled, and the yami centered in on the sound. "Ryou- Whoa!" He cried out as Ryou placed his hands on his shoulders, slamming him into the mattress. Ryou started at Bakura's lips, parting the yami's mouth and sliding his tongue in. The spirits hands curled into the sheets, as he welcomed the kiss, Ryou exploring every crevice of his mouth. The light broke apart a few moments later, placing a soft peck on Bakura's nose before placing his tongue on Bakura's collarbone. He gasped, and arched his back as Ryou began trailing his tongue down Bakura's chest, occasionally nibbling on his pale skin. _Fuck_. Bakura sighed, gritting his teeth. _Ryou, what the hell has gotten into you? _Ryou worked his way lower and lower down Bakura's stomach and abdomen, before breaking the contact. The teenager stared down at the end of his journey, before staring up at Bakura's face, his gritted teeth and hands wound in the blanket. He knew exactly what was coming, but still gasped as Ryou started taking his member in his sweet little mouth. He licked the sensitive spot underneath Bakura's head, earning a soft moan from the yami. _Shit_. Ryou took more of Bakura's length into his mouth, suppressing a gag as his shaft began to penetrate the back of his throat. Bakura hissed and arched his back, his breathing coming out in short gasps. _Oh shit this feels good. Oh god Ryou_… The teenager smiled, feeling Bakura tremble under his hold. Ryou gently withdrew his mouth from Bakura's fully erect member, earning a long moan from the yami.

"You know Bakura." Ryou leaned forward, and grabbed the bottle of lubricant beside Bakura's head. He poured a good amount into his palm, and rubbed his hands together. "When it comes to sex," The light started to massage the liquid onto Bakura's shaft. The yami shuddered, and moaned. "You're so easy to manipulate." He breathed, continuing to rub the liquid over Bakura's member. The spirit growled.

"Maybe," He suggested, his breathing coming out in gasps. "I-I just let you manipulate me." Bakura gasped. "Like some sort of… kink." Ryou grinned, and removed his hands. "Put enough of the stuff on?" The light giggled.

"The more on, the less it hurts." Ryou nodded, and crawled forward so he straddled Bakura's stomach. "Now shhh…" He leaned forward and kissed Bakura on the lips. A soft, chaste kiss that caused Bakura to go lax into the sheets. "This time, _you_ sit back and enjoy the ride." Ryou teased, and placed two hands on Bakura's chest. He gently sat back further, and started to crouch beside Bakura's waist. "Okay." The light bit his lip, as Bakura's shaft began to penetrate his entrance._ Oh... Oh Shit..._ He groaned, Ryou biting his lip as he began to slide down Bakura's member. The yami's breath hitched, and he grabbed at Ryou's thighs. The teenager gritted his teeth, until Bakura's member was fully inside his passage, leaning forward and bowing his head. Bakura adjusted himself to Ryou's size, wishing that he could see right now. He could still remember the last time Ryou had done this, although it was nothing more than a dream. Ryou arched his back in pain, and he hissed as Bakura's nails dug into his thighs. _Oh_… How could something hurt so much, and yet, at the same time, feel so good?

"F-Fuck Ryou." The yami stammered, gritting his teeth. Ryou sighed, and began to withdraw himself slightly. Bakura groaned, and bucked his hips, causing Ryou to cry out, before dragging Ryou back down with his thighs. Both if the whitenette's gasped, and Ryou cried out. Bakura bucked his hips again, arching his back, and Ryou raised himself before he was dragged back down, this time, much faster. Ryou cried out, panting as the pair continued their movement. Ryou was almost sobbing, but at the same time, moaned as Bakura hit his prostate with each thrust. Bakura couldn't see a thing, but felt like he could. He could see Ryou perfectly. His heart swelled, and he began to tighten his fingers in Ryou's skin, earning a fresh moan from the younger boy. Ryou, sensing Bakura's urgency, started to crash harder into Bakura, screaming each time they collided. Ryou was trembling, and gasping for air, and Bakura, hearing Ryou's gasps, feeling his lover shake on top of him, began to buck his hips harder, dragging Ryou down with a bruising force. The light arched his back and screamed, the ragged sound tearing from his throat. Bakura continued his fierce pounding of the young boy, the motion causing Ryou to cry in pain. Bakura sighed, sensing the light's tears, and wiped them away. Ryou sniffled. How could he know Ryou was crying? Bakura gritted his teeth, and groaned as their hips crashed again. He was just teetering over the edge, and Ryou, sensing Bakura's impending release, began to pick up his motions even further, biting his lip to keep from screaming. It gave the yami the push he needed, and a few seconds later, Bakura gasped, pitching forward, grabbing Ryou's thighs as he orgasmed. Ryou gasped at the sensation of Bakura's semen filling his burning passage, grabbing the yami's shoulders. He was pushed over the edge, and Ryou screamed, slumping with a whimper into Bakura's arms as he came. The yami went lax into the mattress, and rolled over, Ryou gasping and writhing in his arms. Bakura gritted his teeth, burying his forehead on the crook of Ryou's neck as the massive orgasm rocked his body. Ryou was gasping for breath, his sweat-sheened limbs trembling.

"O-Oh, 'Kura…" Ryou moaned, unable to move. "Y-You're won-wonderful…" Bakura chuckled, and lifted his head from Ryou's neck.

"Can I take this off?" Bakura was short of breath as he asked the question. Ryou nodded, eyes half open and unfocused. The yami managed to sit up, slipping himself from the boy, and taking the blindfold from his eyes. He blinked at the light, and smiled down at Ryou. "I know why you did this." Bakura purred, leaning down. Ryou sighed, rolling over onto his back. "At first I thought you were just teasing, but then I realized that it was because you wanted me to feel what you felt."

"And what's that?" Ryou asked, extending a shaking hand and running it along Bakura's chest. The yami smiled, and kissed Ryou for a moment.

"Even though I was blind, I could still see you." Bakura sighed, cupping Ryou's face. "I don't know how but… It was like a sixth sense of something." The teenager froze. Bakura was nearly in tears. "Oh Ryou." He flung himself atop of the light, and buried his head in Ryou's neck. The teenager was in shock. He never thought that Bakura would react like _this_ to Ryou's plan. "I love you so much. So so so much." Ryou blinked, and grinned.

"I love you too, 'Kura." He sighed, lifting Bakura's head with a finger, kissing the yami. "More than I love anyone in the whole world." He buried his head in Bakura's chest. "I'd die for you." Bakura sighed, gently holding Ryou's slim form. "I-I-"

"Shh." Bakura kissed the top of Ryou's head. "Calm down Ryou. You're so emotional…" He sighed. "You're not crying still, are you?"

"N-No." Ryou lied. Bakura bit his lip.

"Don't cry sweetie. Why do you always cry after we do this?" Ryou sniffed.

"It's just… I love you so much and I never want to let you go and…" Bakura sighed, silencing Ryou's babbling with a kiss.

"Shhh."

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R&R? Yes? No? Maybe?

Damn better, Biarches... -gangsta nod-

Jokes. Yeah. '


	2. Chapter 2

Haha! I update! It's been a while... Hehehehe

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Damnit all...

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"Breakfast!" Ryou announced as Malik stumbled down the stairs, rubbing at his eyes. "Just in time, Malik." The light winked, grinning. Malik blinked, and sat down at the dining table, opposite from Bakura, who had his head on folded hands, looking deep in thought.

"Wow." Malik blinked as Ryou set down the plate of hash browns, eggs, and fried tomatoes. "Ryou, I don't deserve this." He sighed. Ryou merely rolled his eyes, serving Bakura his own meat-laden meal, before tucking into his own.

"Sweet." Bakura sat up straight, and began to shovel food into his mouth. "Mmm…" Ryou grinned, eating his own food daintily. "Woman."

"Hey!" Ryou shot back. "It's called manners, Bakura. _You_ just don't have any." The yami merely made a face. Malik chuckled, eating his own food.

"Um, Ryou." Bakura swallowed his mouthful of food. "It's ten past seven. You're going to miss your bus." Ryou's eyes widened, and he looked at the clock.

"Oh no!" He shoveled in his food as fast as he could. "'Kura, can you do the dishes please?" Ryou jumped out of his chair, and ran up the stairs to pull on his uniform. Malik chuckled from his food, and Bakura rolled his eyes.

"You have to admit, it's really cute." Malik smiled softly. "He's like a…"

"Okay! Love you Bakura, bye!" It was a royal blue blur tipped with white that fled out of the house. Bakura sighed, and took another bite out of the steak.

"Um…" Malik looked at the yami. "What are you planning on doing today?" Bakura bit his lip, and then broke into a grin.

"You really wanna know?" Bakura asked the Egyptian. Malik nodded his chin in one hand. "You want to know about our sex life?" Bakura raised an eyebrow. Malik chuckled. "What?"

"Nothing." The Egyptian said, feigning innocence. "Why? Something wrong in the bedroom Bakura?" The yami shot Malik a glare.

"Of course not." Bakura smirked. "There's just a few kinks that need to be ironed out." Malik raised an eyebrow, and then grinned.

"What, good kinks, or bad kinks?" The yami rolled his eyes, and took a sip of his coffee.

"Good kinks." His mind wandered back to his dream, so many months ago… "Really really good kinks."

* * *

"Victoria's Secret? Really Bakura?"

"Yep." Bakura ducked into the store, wincing at the level of pink that surrounded him. _Ugh_. "It's all part of the kink thing I was talking about." Malik rolled his eyes, staring at the racks of womens underwear.

"You're dressing Ryou up in women's underwear?" Malik's eyes widened. "Bakura!" The yami chuckled.

"Shh." He said, pausing at a rack of lingerie. "He'll look good in them. Trust me." Malik shrugged, staring around.

"I trust you man, but what's Ryou going to say when he hears this? I can't see him being too happy…" Bakura smirked, fingering red lace.

"He'll behave." The yami said airily. "He had his fun last night." Malik sighed, lowering his lavender eyes. "You okay?" He looked over at the Egyptian.

"You're really lucky." Malik murmured softly, staring at the floor. "To have Ryou, I mean. Hell, to have anyone. To love them so much and have fun but at the same time, it's still really sweet and tender…"

"Malik." Bakura frowned slightly, and his voice took on a completely different tone. Suspicious, almost angry. "Are you _sure_ that you're completely over Ryou?" The Egyptian raised his gaze, and opened his mouth to respond. Before he could however, both were cut off by a smooth, crisp female voice.

"May I help you gentlemen?" Bakura jumped as the woman approached him. He shot a glare at Malik, which clearly meant _this is not over_, and turned to face the woman.

"Uhh, yeah." Bakura scratched the back of his head. "I'm looking for… I'm not really sure how to put it. It's a dressy… thing." He tried to remember his dream, raising his eyes heavwnwards. "Really lacy, you know? And black, black would be good…"

"We have a vast range of negligees and babydolls over there." She offered, pointing. "How much are you willing to spend? It can get quite pricey…"

"Money isn't an option." Bakura assured the woman. "It's for my fiancée. What's the sexiest thing you have here?" Malik sighed, guilt flooding his insides. _I'm trying_…

The woman grinned.

* * *

"I think we need to talk about this, Malik." Bakura said softly, the moment he closed the door behind him. The Egyptian was silent, heading into the lounge and curling into the black leather. "Malik." He repeated, setting the pink shopping bag down on the coffee table before sitting down next to the blonde. Malik had curled himself in a small ball, his arms wrapped around his knees as he stared at the floor. "Malik." Bakura said a little more firmly. "You told me that you were completely over Ryou. That's why I let you stay here… But you're not, are you?" Bakura sighed, and looked up at the ceiling. "Of course you're not." Malik sniffed, still looking pointedly at the floor. Bakura sat, silent for a long time.

"I-it was really hard." Malik whispered later. The yami froze, and looked over to the young Egyptian. "A-At first, I mean. He was all I could think about. I couldn't eat, I could sleep… It was just driving me crazy, feeling like that. And I tried so hard to occupy myself, but it was a month before I was able to stop thinking about Ryou for a few hours at a time. And I thought I could get those feelings under control. I really thought I could. And I thought I was doing really well, you know. I thought I could handle being around Ryou. And I can, Bakura." He lifted his head, blinking erratically. "I can. But I can't help but think about it, and hope. I'm only human." Bakura sighed.

"That's always the downfall of humans." He mused. "Emotions." Marik raised an eyebrow. "Weakness."

"You're in love with Ryou. That's an emotion, isn't it? You're not a complete stone robot, although you try to act it. I've seen you look at Ryou. You're head over heels for him. You've developed some really powerful emotions, Bakura." Malik subconsciously twirled a lock of gold around a tanned finger.

Bakura didn't know what to say.

* * *

Ryou sighed as he closed the front door behind himself that afternoon. As usual, he hung his coat on the rack and slipped off his shoes, before heading into the kitchen. He found Bakura nibbling on a piece of toast, staring into space. A smile formed on his face, and he ran up to the yami, hugging his waist and burying his nose in the crook of his neck as he crawled into his lap. Bakura blinked, temporarily surprised by the motion. He set the bread down on the plate, and nuzzled Ryou's fluffy white head with a soft smile. Malik's words were still going around in his head.

"You shouldn't be eating at this time of day." Ryou scolded, wrinkling his nose at the yami as he lifted his head. Bakura chuckled, gently cupping Ryou's chin with a slim bony band. Ryou's eyelids lowered slightly, and he softly grabbed Bakura's wrist, his lips parting in a long, low sigh. A smile hovered over the yami's lips as he stared down at Ryou's hand, and the dazzling ring on his fourth finger. He gently leaned down and started to kiss Ryou's hand, earning a soft giggle from the young whitenette. Bakura lifted his head, locking his eyes with Ryou.

It was like a magnetic attraction. The boy just couldn't tear himself away from his lovers' eyes. They were soft and calm, strangely serene, despite their crimson-tinted hue. Bakura brought Ryou's hand up to his lips, and started to gently kiss the soft white flesh, never once breaking his gaze with the soft Ryou. The boys' lips parted ever-so-slightly, his breathing quickening. Bakura gently leaned forward, and claimed those sweet lips for his own, in a chaste, but passionate kiss. Ryou's eyes lowered, and finally closed, raising his hands to link them around Bakura's neck. The yami seemed to purr in the back of his throat as he held Ryou's soft pale face in his hands, and gently tilted his head to the side, deepening the kiss.

"K-Kura…" Ryou sighed when they broke apart a little later. "You're amazing." He breathed softly, the corner of his lips twitching in a smile. "I love you so much." Bakura laughed, still holding Ryou's face and looking into innocent brown eyes.

"Every time we kiss." Bakura murmured softly, thoughtfully. "You cry. There's nothing to cry about, Ryou. It's okay. It's always going to be okay." Ryou blinked, and then lowered his eyes, breaking the contact.

"Everything goes wrong for us." Ryou murmured sadly. "It's like someone up there doesn't want us to be together." Bakura sighed, and drew the teen into a soft embrace, resting his chin on Ryou's head as he stared off, deep in thought.

"That was my fault." Bakura muttered. "I spent months and months lying to myself and hurting you. I'll never forgive myself for what I did. If I wasn't such an ass, we'd probably be married my now." Ryou lifted his head, chocolate orbs warming in sympathy. He ran a hand through Bakura's hair, softly shaking his head. "Yes, I did. I was the one who fucked it up for us." Ryou kept shaking his head, his eyes wide and innocent. "Goddamn it Ryou, stop it!" Bakura shouted, his anger getting the best of him. Ryou froze, and his eyes widened further, this time, in fear. He was trembling as he stood up, and turned away from the yami.

"I-I'm going to get dinner ready." Ryou said softly, hugging himself with his skinny pale arms. It was difficult, cooking for both a carnivore and a vegetarian. Bakura sighed, his insides burning with guilt. He stood up, and sighed.

"Ryou…" He followed the small boy into the kitchen. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you, I just got angry…" Ryou was determinedly making a point by keeping his back to the yami, opening the fridge. "Ryou…" Bakura tried again, his eyes softening slightly. "Please…" He tried. He thought he heard the teenager sniff, and the guilt in his stomach increased tenfold. Bakura let out a soft growl, and grabbed at Ryou's arm. The teen cried out as he was turned around, and stared up into Bakura's dark eyes.

"I'm only trying to be kind and forgiving Bakura." The boy said softly, lowering his eyes. "It's all in the past. I want to move on." Ryou sighed. "I wish you would move on, too. We're together now, and that's all that matters." The boys' eyes shone with tears. "It's all I've ever wanted…" Bakura sighed, and engulfed Ryou in a rough hug, pulling the lithe teenager close to him. Ryou sniffed, and buried his head in the yami's chest.

"I'm always gonna be guilty." Bakura muttered, burying his nose in the soft scent of Ryou's hair. "I hurt you so much… I'm always going to feel bad. And I know you forgive me, but…" Ryou frowned against Bakura's shirt. "I guess I just wish none of that to happen, you know?" The teenager nodded, and sighed. Both stayed that way for a long time, before Ryou broke apart, hurriedly wiping at the tears on his face.

"I-I better get dinner started."

* * *

Ryou blinked as he shut the door to the en-suite bathroom. It was night, and Bakura had given him this bag, and told him to go and change. The teenager was terrified that his lover was going to dabble in some S&M tonight (He was allowed to do anything) but his fears had been quelled slightly when he saw that the bag was pink. The whitenette but his lip in apprehension as he opened the pink bag and looked inside. All he saw so far was a mass of black lace. _What on earth?_ Ryou lifted the garment from the paper bag, and his mouth dropped.

What _was_ it? Ryou's eyes widened. It looked like some kind of dress… But a dress like that wouldn't cover a thing! _You cannot be serious. _Ryou sighed, and looked into the bag again. Maybe there was something else to wear with it…

Oh, there was all right. Ryou lifted the matching thong out of the bag, half incredulous, half terrified. _This... This is a joke. Bakura can not be serious. Please tell me he isn't serious_…

But Bakura, lying down on the king-sized bed was very serious indeed. He'd taken off his shoes, socks, and shirt, but decided to keep his tight leather pants on, purely for the kink of it. He held the Polaroid camera in one hand, looking through the viewfinder at the ceiling. Oh, was he excited. He was very, very excited.

"B-Bakura?" Ryou gently poked his head through the doorway. "U-Um… I'm… Kind of changed…" He looked down, his blush deepening until his flooded his face like a sunburn. The yami grinned and sat up, his eyes lighting.

"Well, come here then baby." Bakura purred, patting the bed beside him. Ryou blushed, and looked down, but finally nodded. He closed the bathroom door and began to walk towards the yami and the bed he laid on, keeping his eyes firmly downcast.

The sight took Bakura's breath away. Ryou was… _Perfect_. Those long, creamy legs contrasted sharply with the lacy black lingerie, which barely covered his crotch. Two long splits that ran almost to Ryou's hips on the sides exposed even more vanilla skin as he walked, his hands clasped together at his middle.

"Oh Gods…" Bakura gaped openmouthed at the young teenager, standing there blushing, the slinky lace clinging like a second skin to perfect, smooth hips. "Oh Ryou…" He groaned, heeling his arousal grow at the mere sight of his fiancée in the revealing black lace. Ryou's blush darkened even further, staining his pretty ivory cheeks. Slowly, he made his way over to the bed, and started to crawl towards the yami. Before he could move however, Bakura pounced. He grabbed Ryou, and slammed him into the bed. The whitenette squawked in protest, and Bakura used the opportunity to roughly kiss Ryou, forcing those beautiful pale lips further open with his tongue. He straddled the boy as he kissed him passionately, running his hands over ivory skin and black lace. Ryou's eyes widened as Bakura kissed with a fiery passion, trying to stick his tongue as far down Ryou's throat as he could, while grinding his hips with Ryou and fisting handfuls of the negligee.

As soon as it came, the assault on Ryou passed, and Bakura lifted his mouth away from Ryou's lips, panting. The boy gasped for air beneath him, chocolate eyes dazed and unfocused. Bakura had never kissed him so roughly, so fiercely before. Ryou raised a hand to his bruised, swollen lips, gasping. Bakura stared down at Ryou, his own chest still heaving for air, before he snatched Ryou's hand from his mouth, and started to attack his lips once more. A ragged gasp tore on Ryou's throat as Bakura ground their hips together, running his hands over his lovers' chest. He felt the lace slide under hands, grating against smooth pale skin. Ryou arched his back and moaned, closing his eyes as Bakura continued to assault his body. Bakura kissed him as deep as he could, pressing every inch of his body against Ryou. He couldn't get enough of the sexy teenager beneath him. He started to ravage the sensitive, delicate skin on Ryou's collarbone, earning another moan from the younger whitenette.

"K-Kura…" He finally moaned, his eyes drifting shut. Bakura smirked in self-satisfaction, but didn't stop his roughly passionate ministrations. Ryou's bony hands tangled themselves in Bakura's hair, his moans and gasps spurring on the insatiable demon. Bakura ground his hips harder into Ryou, his sexual frustration growing with each second. Before he lost himself completely, the yami sat up, staring down at Ryou's gasping, writhing form. Before Ryou had time to collect himself, Bakura grabbed at the heavy black camera beside him, and took a photo of the young teen. He took the small white card as it spat out of the machine, and set it face down on the bedside table.

"You look perfect." Bakura sighed when Ryou's breathing finally slowed. "You're so beautiful Ryou." The teenager sighed, somewhat tiredly, and smiled. "There's just one little thing that takes the perfection away." Ryou blinked.

"What's that?" He asked in a breathy, husky voice. Bakura chuckled, and, leaned in towards the young teenager. Ryou's breath hitched in his throat as Bakura spread his thighs, and began to lick and nibble at the soft skin. The yami chuckled in the back of his throat, gradually heading northwards. Ryou moaned at the sensation, feeling the lower half of his body start to tingle. He gasped as Bakura bit down hard on his hip, and the elder male inwardly groaned at the sweet, coppery taste of his little lovers' blood. Ryou lay limp on the bed, gasping as Bakura drank his fill, and he swallowed as Bakura lifted his head, grinning. He locked eyes with Ryou for a second, who propped himself up on his elbows, staring with innocent wide eyes. Bakura chuckled in his throat, and slid the hem of the lacy minidress above Ryou's hips. He stared at the black thong covering his genitals with a grin, and with his teeth, began to tug at the ebony strap at the apex of Ryou's thighs. The boy gasped as Bakura continued to yank at the underwear, until he had finally pulled it over Ryou's feet. The yami dropped the scanty piece of material on the mattress, and leered over the boy, who gulped, chocolate eyes wide with fright.

"_Now_ you're perfect." Bakura grinned, running his hands like water over his soft thighs. Ryou still stared up at the yami, wide-eyed. "All mine." He sighed, leaning forward and placing kisses along Ryou's jawbone. The light gasped, and his eyes fluttered closed.

"This…" Ryou took in a deep breath, and looked up at Bakura with bleary, unfocused eyes. "This is going to be a night to remember, isn't it?" Bakura chuckled, leaning down again to brush noses with the young light.

"You have no idea…"

* * *

Bakura sighed as he leaned against the headboard, much, much later that night. Ryou lay on his side next to him, his eyes red and swollen from crying. The yami looked briefly down at his lover, and ran a hand through Ryou's long white hair. He stirred, moaning softly at the touch, but didn't wake. Bakura shifted his gaze up to the photos in his hand, and he couldn't help but smile as he stared at the still images of Ryou that he had taken during the course of their rough lovemaking, the boy wearing the black lace the whole time. How can someone look innocent, seductive, beautiful, tearful, and exhausted in the space of two hours? Bakura fanned the instant photos in his long bony fingers thoughtfully, running his fingers over the smooth coloured card. He stared at the images of Ryou for a long time. He had taken the photo's to preserve the boy in the clothing, and to have something to, well, look over during the day when Ryou wasn't home. He'd rather look at his sexy young fiancée than any cheap porno. Hell, for all Bakura knew, Ryou would never agree to that again…

"Kura?" The yami blinked, and looked down at his host. Ryou was curled in a fetal position, with his hands folded in front of his face. His large brown eyes were wide, staring up at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Bakura sighed. With a flick of the wrist, he snapped his collection of photos into a stack, and set them on the bedside table face down. "You?" Ryou sniffed, and rubbed at one of his eyes, nodding. Bakura sighed, and slid down under the covers. Ryou shuffled over, closer to the yami, and buried his head in the crook of Bakura's neck. He sighed, sliding one arm under Ryou's thin form to wrap around his back. He stroked the black lace absentmindedly, closing his eyes. Ryou let out a long, shuddering sigh, wincing his pain. "It still hurts, doesn't it?" Bakura asked, still staring at the ceiling. Ryou nodded, trying his best to keep the lower half of his body perfectly still. _I hope I don't have to go to the bathroom in the morning_… Bakura tightened his hold on Ryou's back, and drew him closer. "You're probably going to have to change the sheets in the morning." He continued. Bakura knew he should have said sorry, but he just couldn't get it out of his mouth. He'd taken Ryou harder than ever before that night, leaving the boy sobbing and bleeding. Guilt had rushed through him, and he'd held the boy close to his chest, whispering soothingly into Ryou's ear and kissing away his tears. The teenager had agreed to being taken roughly, just as Bakura had agreed to submissing, but he'd never thought it would hurt so much.

"S'okay." Ryou sighed, already starting to drift back into a sleep. Bakura gently kissed Ryou's forehead as he sank into his peaceful slumber, and settled back into the mattress. More than anything, he felt _worried_. Worried that he enjoyed Ryou's moans and screams of pain. That he enjoyed Ryou crying. It was like a burst of sadism, and when it faded, Bakura was only left with guilt and regret. He sighed, still stroking Ryou's back. The sleeping boy murmured softly, and nuzzled Bakura's shoulder. The yami sighed. Ryou's trust in him must have been infinite. Most wouldn't want to be around someone if they'd just done that to them. _But that's just one of the things that makes Ryou so special._ Bakura continued to stare at the ceiling, almost drowning in the soft silence that enveloped him. It was so amazingly _quiet_ in the suburbs. True, it meant that it was further for Bakura to walk if he wanted to have a late-night thieving spree, but it was so much more peaceful. And Ryou was just much, much, happier here.

And that was all that mattered, wasn't it?

* * *

"What are you up to?" Malik blinked as he walked into the living room the next morning. Bakura was sitting at the dining room table, a pad of paper in front of him, as well as a phone book, and a long list that looked to be in Ryou's handwriting. Bakura absentmindedly brushed the pen across the page, resting his head on the tabletop.

"Nothing." Bakura sighed, still trailing his hand over the page in what seemed a random pattern. "Found a list of what needs to be done for the wedding. Food, flowers, a church… and we don't even have a date…"

"A church?" Malik blinked, walking over beside the yami. "But Japan is like, Buddhist, so… Wow…" He froze, staring at the page Bakura was scrawling on. "Bakura… That's amazing…" He breathed. Bakura blinked, and lifted his head.

"Hey." The yami let the slightest grin flicker over his features. "Not bad." He looked down at his drawing of Ryou. "I've still got last night on the brain…" Malik couldn't help but chuckle.

"You two were loud." He remarked, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a piece of fruit from the wooden bowl on the counter. "What the hell were you going to him?" Bakura chose not to answer. Malik frowned slightly, and continued. "Is that another reason why you guys decided to move out of your apartment?" Bakura only rolled his eyes. "No?"

"You shut up." Bakura muttered, shoving his sketch of Ryou under a pile of papers. "I honestly don't know what I'm going to do about this church deal, Malik. I know we live in Japan and all, but Ryou's half-English, and his mother was a Catholic, and he's still partly religious. He's got his heart set on a church, I can tell." Bakura chuckled. "What we're doing isn't even fucking legal." Malik grinned.

"And? Pretend he's a girl. He's feminine enough. Get him in a dress, pad out the top half a little, maybe a little makeup, and it'll work." Bakura raised an eyebrow.

"Marriage certificate?" Bakura rolled his eyes. "I'm not exactly on the government records, you know, and Ryou's registered as a guy. That kind of can't be changed." Malik frowned, and took a bite out of the banana.

"Well… Ryou is sometimes a girls' name… Why not just sign the certificate at the church, and not hand it in? Does it matter if the government knows or not?" Bakura sighed, his head in a hand.

"Yeah, but I think it's going to matter to Ryou." He murmured. "Can't we go and do it in Canada or something? I mean, honestly…" Bakura sighed. "Why?_ Why_ did I have to propose to him?" He moaned. "I'm an idiot. A total idiot." Malik grinned sympathetically, and took another big bite of his banana.

"I don't think you're an idiot." Malik said softly. "Proposing to Ryou is really romantic and sweet. If you want my opinion, get married in a church –there's bound to be one around somewhere- sign a certificate, and just hang it on the wall or something. You don't have to get it authorized. Hell, if I were you, I'd be worrying about something else." Bakura blinked.

"What?" He asked, somewhat suspiciously. Malik swallowed his last mouthful of the banana and threw the wrapper into the rubbish bin, grimacing. "Malik?"

"Have you talked to Ryou's father about any of this?" He asked, tilting his head. Bakura froze. "Ryou's going to want a blessing from him, at the very least." The yami sighed. "Does he even know you're exist? Or are you still only a voice in Ryou's head making him crazy?"

"I'm… Still a voice in Ryou's heading making him crazy." Bakura raised his eyes heavenward. "But he doesn't need to know, does he?" Malik only sighed.

"It's Ryou's father. Of course he's going to tell him that he's getting married. He might even invite his Dad. You can't overlook it Bakura, I'm sorry." Bakura swore under his breath.

"Well... We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. But now…" Bakura groaned. "I have to at least make a start on this." He looked at the first item on the list he'd found in Ryou's bedside table. "Flowers… Ryou can do that… Food? We need food? Hell, Ryou can do that too… Photographs… I've got a camera, so that's sorted." He crossed it off the list, and Malik sighed, dropping his forehead onto his palm. "What?"

"Bakura." The Egyptian rolled his eyes. "Not instant photographs, you idiot. A proper portrait by a professional guy. Didn't Ryou's parents get one?" Bakura narrowed his eyes in thought. "Like a photo, but really big."

"Oh, yeah." Bakura nodded. "I get what you mean… So we have to look into that." He sighed. "What else… Reception? What, like an after-party? Do we have to rent out a hall or something?" Bakura groaned. "I think I need to do this with Ryou." Marik couldn't help but grin. "What? It's confusing… I need a beer. Malik, get me a beer."

"But it's 10AM!" Malik protested. Bakura responded by raising an eyebrow at the teenager, who sighed in defeat. "Fine… Here." He slapped the beer down on the table, which Bakura accepted.

"The youth of today," He began dramatically. "Have it so easy. Why in my day, you had to leave the hut and go to the inn to get a beer. _And_ it was warm!" He continued, taking a sip of the liquid. "And no one could brew for shit…." Malik tilted his head to the side, a small smile on his face.

"You know, I think that if Ryou's father believes your story, he'd be fascinated." He sank down into the chair next to Bakura, leaning back and lifting two legs from the floor. "I mean, think about it Bakura. You have the perfect interpretation of Egypt as it was three thousand years ago. Egyptologists and Archeologists would be queuing for miles to get the opportunity to talk to you if they knew. You should write a book." Bakura raised a silvery eyebrow. "I mean it." He argued. "Don't look at me like that." Bakura chucked, and shook his head.

"Huh." Bakura shrugged. "I never really thought about that. I suppose if all they had to go by were wall paintings and a few shards of pottery, then they're bound to get things wrong." He took another sip of the beer. "But that's all in the past. What I would really like to do is just forget every damn thing that happened. The bloody Pharaoh is luckier than he realizes." Malik sighed.

"Okay then, Bakura." He murmured. Truth be told, Malik was actually pretty curious about some events that had been lost even to the tomb keepers, especially the origin of the Sennen items. However, when Malik even mentioned that, Bakura either froze up or got angry, leading the Egyptian to assume he was personally involved.

"Damn straight." The yami muttered, glaring back down at his list. "Now what's this about hiring a limo? Why the hell would we need a limo?" Malik giggled. Bakura shifted the paper angrily, his nose wrinkling in a snarl. A few papers, including his drawing of Ryou glided to the floor. Malik bent down to pick the papers up, his eyes lingering on Bakura's sketch.

"This is really, really good." Malik murmured. "I always thought of you as an artistic person. Have you considered applying for a graphics or arts college or anything?" Bakura blinked.

"And… Why would I do that?" He demanded. "I'm a thief. I earn plenty of money as it is. Hell, I've got ten grand of cash in the bottom of my drawers." Malik rolled his eyes. "Besides, I couldn't get into college." He snorted, snatching the drawing and crumpling it into a small ball, despite a cry of protest from Malik.

"Why not?" The Egyptian frowned. "Are you just going to be a thief all your life? Or do you expect to die soon or something? You proposed to Ryou, so you obviously plan to be around for a while." Bakura only stared impassively at Malik, who sighed in defeat.

"Fine." He muttered. "Forget I said anything then. But you're really talented Bakura, and it's a waste to just ignore it like you do." Bakura sighed softly, but remained quiet. He wouldn't call it a talent. _I'm just observant. Sometimes I draw what I see. Or remember. It doesn't mean anything. Malik doesn't know what he's talking about_.

Despite his mental words however, Bakura's heart couldn't help but swell slightly with pride.

* * *

... Yeah...

I don't like it, but what else is new? -.-

R&R?


	3. Chapter 3

-jumps in- HIII!!! HIHIHI! xDD I ish updating! Slow, I know... And a bit of a twist at the end, but TRUST me, it's not the biggest twist ever. (If you knew me at all, then you would know that. hehe)

100 PEOPLE HAVE ME ON THEIR FAVOURITES! I LOVE YOU ALL!! YYYYAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

ON WITH THE FIC!

* * *

Bakura sighed, reclining further into the black leather, closing his eyes. The breeze from the open window blew a few strands of silvery hair into his closed eyes, and the yami brushed them away with a sigh.

"Don't go to sleep." Malik teased, taking his eyes off of the road for a quick moment, to grin at Bakura, who merely growled, holding a hand over his eyes to shield the bright sunlight.

"Watch the road, Ishtar." The yami warned. "Crash my car, and I'll castrate you." Malik only chuckled, albeit nervously, but kept his eyes on the road. "That's what I thought." Bakura mumbled. "How much longer 'til this church, anyways?" He asked, lifting his arm away, and opening one eye a slit. "Bloody hell…"

"I must have taken a wrong turn or something." Malik bit his lip softly as they continued to drive down the pleasant country highway. "Where the hell is this place?"

"Told you you'd get lost." Bakura sighed and straightened himself, rubbing at one eye as he stared out of the window. "Remind me not to let you drive again." He muttered dryly, his crimson-mahogany eyes scanning the scene. "Wait." The yami froze, his orbs widening. Malik gasped, and slammed the car to a stop, following Bakura's gaze across the green.

"A house?" The blonde frowned. "Are we going to ask them for directions?" Bakura groaned, and rolled his eyes.

"No, you idiot. It has a bell tower and a cross over the front door. It's a chapel." A small grin grew on Bakura's face. "Turn into that driveway there." He pointed. Malik obeyed, muttering to himself and shaking his head. Bakura kept his eyes fixated on the small white chapel, the grin on his face growing slowly. As soon as Malik parked the shiny black automobile beside the small chapel, Bakura flung himself out of the car, and ran towards the open front door.

He gasped aloud as he entered the tiny church. It was smaller than his lounge! There were only four pews, two on each side, made of a pale wood, adorned with white satin cushions. Three slender stained glass windows stretched from floor to ceiling on the white painted walls, the roof barely a foot higher than him. Bakura slowly walked the minimal distance up to the front of the room, where a white pulpit stood, a thick, heavy book placed upon it. The yami walked up behind the stand, expecting the book to be a Bible. Instead, it was a visitors log, a pen resting just on the lip of the wooden stand.

"Wow…" Malik sighed as he entered the small white room. "It's amazing…." Bakura smiled briefly, flicking through the visitor's log.

"There's a number here." He muttered thoughtfully, biting his lip. "Malik, pass me your cellphone."

"Why?" Malik frowned as he walked up the small distance to the pulpit, looking over Bakura's shoulder. The yami couldn't help but let his grin grow as he stared around the room once more.

"Because I think I found our wedding church."

* * *

"Hey Ryou baby." Bakura couldn't help but feel his chest rise slightly with pride as he wrapped his arms around Ryou's waist, nuzzling his neck. Ryou, who had just left the bathroom blinked, but then relaxed, melting into the embrace.

"What, 'Kura?" Ryou lifted his soft brown eyes up to meet his lover. Bakura grinned, and kissed those soft, sweet lips for just a moment. Ryou's eyes were closed as they broke away, a sigh escaping from his chest.

"I found a church." The yami murmured, running a thumb over Ryou's lower lip. The boy's eyes widened in surprise, and his mouth widened in a smile of delight. "I swear, Ryou, it's perfect."

"A-are you serious?" The young teen breathed, his eyes alight. "You found a church for us?" Bakura nodded. "Ohh… 'Kura, you're so wonderful!" Ryou compulsively wrapped his arms around his lovers' neck, burying his head in Bakura's shoulder with a wide grin. The yami chuckled, and easily hoisted Ryou in his arms. The boy squeaked as he was spun around for a few times, giggling, and then thrown onto the large, soft bed. "Bakura?" The male in question chuckled in his throat as he crawled onto the soft bed, and began to leer over Ryou on all fours.

"Fuck, you're pretty." Ryou blushed at the expletive, and gasped as Bakura placed his lips on the pale, sensitive skin of Ryou's collarbone. The yami continued for a few more moments, before lifting his mouth away. "Ryou… Will you do something for me?" He asked, now lying atop of the younger boy. Ryou blinked, and cocked his head to one side.

"Wh-What's that, yami?" He asked in his sweet, honeyed voice, staring up at Bakura with those large brown orbs. The yami sighed, and softly ran a hand through Ryou's long white hair.

"For the wedding…" The word sent a tingle up Ryou's spine. "Do you think you could… Wear a dress?" The boy blinked, confused.

"A… dress?" Ryou inquired. "You want me to wear a dress for the wedding?" Bakura nodded. "Why?"

"Because." Bakura sighed. "It's a _wedding_. How can it be a wedding if no one wears a big white dress?" Ryou bit his lip, looking away. _I'm not so sure,_ he thought._ I mean, I'm going to invite Jou and Yugi... And Dad might even come... A dress just seems a bit..._

"Do I have to?" Ryou sighed, almost sadly, looking up at Bakura, who perched on his chest. The yami deflated slightly. "It's just, I mean, I wanted Jou and Yugi and Dad to come, and I…"

"So what?" Bakura pressed, twirling a lock of white silk between his long bony fingers. "You'd look so pretty Ryou! I mean, adorable." Bakura trailed a finger along the side of his lovers' face. "For me?" He pouted, trying to look as cute as he could. Ryou couldn't help but giggle.

"Okay!" Ryou agreed, still confused. _It probably has something to do with him making me wear lingerie the other night... It's just a kink_. "I'll wear a dress." _In fact_… A plan was already starting to hatch in Ryou's mind. "But _you_ have to dress up in a tux and look nice. And brush your hair and tie it back."

"What?" Bakura raised an eyebrow. "A tux? Are you kidding me…" He sighed, and nodded. "Okay. I'll wear a tux and fix my hair, if you wear a dress." Ryou giggled.

The deal was sealed with a kiss. Ryou gasped as Bakura's tongue massaged his lips, closing his eyes. He felt bony hands start to slide up his stomach, and the pressure on his mouth intensified. Obediently, Ryou parted his lips, and Bakura inserted his tongue, and slid his hands out from under Ryou's shirt to tilt the teens' face slightly, allowing more access into his sweet mouth.

"Ba… Bakura…" Ryou sighed as they broke apart for air. He swallowed deeply, and slowly opened his eyes to stare up at the face hovering above him. Bakura smiled fleetingly, and brushed a lock of silver out of Ryou's eyes.

"Yeah, baby?" Bakura crooned softly as he leaned down further, nuzzling noses with the young teen. Ryou moaned and closed his eyes, going lax into the mattress.

"Can…" Ryou suppressed a yawn. "Can we… Not tonight?" He opened his eyes, staring up into Bakura's face. "I'm sorry, but I'm so tired… I just can't tonight… Please? Bakura, I'm so exhausted." He looked up into the face of his lover, which sank in disappointment. "I'm really sorry…"

"Don't be." Bakura sighed as he sat up, sliding off of the whitenette and sitting down on the mattress. "You're tired, it's okay." He lay down on the bed face up, an odd look on his face.

"No…" Ryou sighed. "Bakura, it's not okay. I feel really bad…" Bakura rolled his eyes, and gently reached out to touch Ryou. His fingers brushed silky long hair, and the yami started to curl his fingers in the soft white locks. Ryou sighed, and leaned into the touch, murmuring softly as he closed his eyes.

"Come here baby…" Bakura sighed, lifting his head slightly and looking down at the teen. Ryou sighed, and crawled up to the head of the bed, resting his head on the pillow. He curled close into the yami's side, and murmured softly. Bakura sighed, and rested his head on the pillow, closing his eyes.

"I love you, Bakura." Ryou whispered softly, a soft whine emitting from his throat as Bakura momentarily disentangled himself from the white-haired teen, to pull the blankets over both of them. He wrapped his arms loosely around Ryou's waist, and buried his nose into the teens' hair.

"I love you too." He smiled softly, digging his nose deeper into Ryou's hair until he reached the soft skin on the back of his neck. Ryou squeaked as Bakura gently bit down on the porcelain skin, and giggled.

"This is nice." Ryou sighed, closing his eyes. He felt Bakura rest his head back on the soft pillow, and heard a soft, sleepy groan. "Bakura? You okay?"

"Go to sleep Ryou." He heard the spirit mutter.

* * *

Ryou bit his lip softly as he rifled through his phone book. He was curled up on the couch, the cordless phone at his side. His large brown eyes scanned the page, feeling a flutter of nervousness in his stomach. Ryou hadn't called his father in the two months he had been living in this house.

There it was. Ryou swallowed as he dialed out the number, his fingers trembling slightly. He lifted the white receiver to his ear, hearing the dial tone. _Oooh, I'm so nervous... What if he says no?_

"Hello?" Despite himself, Ryou felt a smile tug at his lips at the sound of his fathers voice. His heart ached slightly. _I haven't seen him in such a very long time_…

"H-Hi Dad." Ryou stammered weakly, taking a deep breath. The other end of the line went very still for a long moment.

"Ryou?" His heart gave a little leap as his father recognized his voice, and the smile, albeit small and shaky, returned.

"Yeah. It's me. It's been such a long time since we spoke." Ryou heard a long sigh, and his heart dropped half an inch. _Oh dear_…

"Yes it has… Ryou, why are you calling?" His father asked, his voice low and concerned. Ryou took a deep breath.

"Well… I called to ask you a question." He admitted, keeping his eyes low, even though his father couldn't see him.

"Yes?" Ryou winced at the tenseness in his voice.

"I'm… I'm getting married, Dad." The boy finally admitted, grinning. He heard his father gasp, and the next words he uttered were low, suspicious.

"Ryou… Are you serious?"

"Yes. We're getting married before Christmas."

"Is… It a girl?" Ryou cringed, and swallowed.

"Umm… Not exactly, no." He finally stammered weakly. He heard his father sigh in exasperation.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with you." Ryou's heart plummeted at the disgust and disappointment in his fathers' voice.

"Y-You don't have to do anything." Ryou's voice trembled. "I-I wasn't going to ask you to come or anything… I-I mean, I know you wouldn't want to-"

"Of course I wouldn't want to! It isn't damn natural, Ryou. It's not even legal!"

"That's not the point-"

"What is it you want?" Ryou felt like crying at his fathers' harsh, abrupt tone. He swallowed deeply, feeling his throat clench.

"I… I called to ask if you still had Mum's dress in the back of your wardrobe." Ryou stated in his soft, quiet tone, his voice shaking. "I um… I wanted to wear it…"

"Yes, I still have it." Ryou winced again, his heart feeling like a rock in the bottom of his chest. "Why would you want to wear it?"

"W-well…" Ryou's voice was wobbling almost out of control, tears springing in his eyes. "Ba- M-My fiancée really wants me to wear a dress, and Mum's is really pretty, and… Well… I really want to wear it…" He sighed. "Please, Dad…" He heard a long sigh on the phone. "It's all I want, I swear. I'll leave you alone after that. It's the only thing I want. I-I don't even want your blessing or anything." He pleaded, biting his lip. His father must have heard the desperation in his voice.

"Okay."

* * *

Malik sighed to himself, sprawled out on the black leather couch. He was so _bored_! Ryou was in school, and Bakura had been out, as he mumbled, 'Paying the bills', which meant thieving. The Egyptian sighed. He only hoped that Bakura wouldn't get himself caught… _I should get out... But I can't be bothered..._ He reached for the remote, and turned on the T.V. Malik started to channel surf, bored. _Honestly... Who in their right mind would watch any of this crap?_ He yawned, and rolled over onto his back. He flicked through channel after channel, wrinkling his nose.

_Wait_. Malik sat up as a commercial for Domino Arts College came onto the screen. His lavender eyes widened further and further until the advertisement was finished, his eyes as wide as saucers. _Oh Gods_… _That would be perfect for Bakura!_ A grin spread across his face._ Taking openings for next semester? That would give us until January to convince Bakura to go. _Malik jumped up with a renewed vigor, biting his lip in thought. _I know he has a sketch book around somewhere, I've seen him draw in it. I'll check their room first_… The blonde jumped up, abandoning the television as he clomped up the stairs, heading towards the master bedroom.

The room was in pristine condition as Malik closed the door behind him. _Wow. Ryou really does keep this place clean_… He rubbed at his nose, before making a beeline towards Bakura's bedside table. He opened the cabinet first, thinking that the book wouldn't be small enough to fit in the drawer. Malik found the black book underneath a pile of stuff he could only classify as junk. He withdrew the book and held it aloft in triumph, before closing the cabinet door and sitting on the edge of the bed. _This is like, Bakura's private book. It's like a journal to him. He won't even let Ryou see it, and you want to go and e-mail it to a college?_

_Of course._ Malik grinned, and stood up, heading into the study where the computer and other software was located. _Bakura can't be a thief forever. _The blonde turned on the computer, and leaned into the blue office chair, thumbing through the sketch book. Most were portraits. Bakura's obvious skill and imagination took his breath away. He flicked through the pages, his mouth falling further and further open. These drawings were _fantastic_! He couldn't help but stare at the yami's drawings. Sure, they were dark and twisted and creepy, but they were also brilliant. Malik bit his lip as he turned back to the computer, his lavender eyes straying to the scanner. He'd check out the website first, and check out what he needed, and then create a portfolio and e-mail it to the college. _I know this is meddling, but I can't help it. Bakura at least needs the opportunity to express his talent and maybe even fine-tune his skills._ _I only hope he wont be too pissed off at me._

* * *

"Oh, Bakura, you are _so_ evil!" Malik's eyes widened as the yami set the bag down on the dining room table, and unzipped it, extracting several bottles of very strong alcohol. "You're not going to drink it all, are you?" He asked, shaking his head. Bakura, grinned.

"Of course not." He chuckled, extracting a bottle of vodka. He unscrewed the cap, and took a swig, knocking back the liquid as though it were tap water. "Well, not tonight, anyway." Bakura set the bottle down on the kitchen counter, and started to hunt around the cupboards for some glasses.

"Do you mind?" Malik asked as he lifted the glass bottle in his hand. Bakura shook his head, and straightened himself, setting two glasses down on the counter. "Sweet." The Egyptian poured himself a quarter of a glass, and started to rummage through the fridge. "Is there any Coke around here?"

"You pansy!" Bakura chuckled, pouring himself more vodka and knocking it back. "Just drink it straight Malik." He shut the fridge door. Malik yelped and jumped back, narrowly avoiding having his nose clipped. "Come on…" He pressed the glass into Malik's tanned hands.

"I don't know…" Unlike Bakura, Malik wasn't very fond of getting drunk. He looked up into crimson eyes that seemed to be laughing. The flash of sadism was there –Bakura was teasing Malik and they both knew it- But he still looked so… Normal. "Oh, fine." Malik muttered, tilting his head back and drinking the vodka in one gulp, making a face at the taste. "Happy?" Malik scowled, blinking. _Ooh, it's already going to my head_…

"Yep." Bakura grinned as he poured himself half a glass. Malik's eyes widened, and he grabbed at the yami's arm before he drunk the vodka.

"Don't drink that!" The blonde panicked, biting his lip. "Come on, Bakura, are you nuts? You'll pass out for sure!" Bakura only grinned, wrenching his hand free.

"Nah." He said airily, and took a gulp of the liquid. "I can handle my alcohol, Malik. No sweat." Malik sighed, and closed his eyes momentarily. "You need to let go more." He commented, sloshing more of the liquid into Malik's glass. "Just this one night."

* * *

Ryou sighed as he closed the front door behind him. Music was blaring loudly from the lounge, and the teen tried his best to creep past the doorway, and up the stairs. He closed the bedroom door behind him one-handed, biting his lip as he looked at the coat-hanger in his left hand. His wedding dress. He grinned, and gently laid it down on the bed. A plastic case covered the dress, and Ryou gently fingered the zipper, and opened the covering. The teen stared at the white fabric, the sleeveless boned bodice and the bunched skirt. Ryou sat down on the bed, and a grin spread across his angelic features. Now that they had found a church, and Ryou had his dress, the whole thing just seemed so much more _real_. He and Bakura were going to get married, and spend the rest of their lives together.

Ryou frowned as he stared down at the dress, his eyes lingering at the waist. _Oh no... Please don't tell me_... Ryou swallowed as he tugged off his school coat and shirt, sliding his trousers down his creamy legs. He slid the dress from its hanger, and unzipped the back. _Please_… Ryou tugged up the dress, and slid his arms in the lacy strap sleeves. He stepped over to the mirror, and started to zip up the back, making a face as the fabric strained. _Yep._

_I'm too fat._

_Well, not fat._ Ryou tried to reason with himself. _This dress was made for a woman. I don't have a woman's waist or hips. _He bit his lip, suppressing tears. _Just my luck. Mum and Dad got married four months after I was born. How could she be so skinny? _Ryou sighed. _I'm going to have to go on a diet or something to wear it... Not much. Just a few pounds. _Ryou knew he was skinny enough, but he reckoned he could lose maybe five pounds, fit into the dress, and not be dangerously underweight…

He sighed, and started to tug the dress from his slim frame. _I should take it off before it gets dirty._

* * *

"No more Bakura… Really, no more."

"Chicken."

"I'm not!" Malik bristled, narrowing his eyes. "We've had way too much to drink." Bakura only snorted, shaking his head.

"We obviously haven't had enough if you're still worrying about that." He observed. "Soo…" He teased, unscrewing the cap off the half-full bottle of vodka. Bakura sloshed a goodly amount of the liquid into Maliks' glass. "Drink." The Egyptian raised an eyebrow. "Now." Malik sighed, and lifted the glass to his lips.

"No more now." Malik made a face as he swallowed the vodka. "That stuff is _vile._" Bakura grinned. _I'll make him drink some more. He's had loads, and still kept his head. _"Come on, Bakura."

"Shut up and drink it." Bakura snapped, leaning back into the couch, and taking another swig of vodka. "You're worse than Ryou." Malik was silent, his head in his hands. "Malik?"

"I think that was too much." He muttered under his breath, a strange sensation of the earth wheeling under his feet growing. "Ooooh…" Bakura only chuckled, and staggered upright, extending a taloned, pale hand. "I don't think I can stand…"

"Sure you can." Bakura yanked the teenager into a standing position. "See?" Malik swayed slightly, but managed to plant two feet firmly on the ground. The yami chuckled as he watched Malik struggle to stand properly upright. _This is fun_…_ I have to do this with Ryou... In fact..._

"Hey, Malik." A sadistic, maniacal grin spread across the yami's face. "I have an idea…

* * *

Ryou sighed as he stared down at the sheet of paper in front of him. _I hate Chemistry... _He mentally sighed, resting his forehead on the paper. _I'm so not ready for this test next week_…

"Hey, baby." Ryou jumped at the husky, sensual voice. He turned around, and blinked at the yami, who stalked across the study towards him, lust in his eyes. "What are you doing here, hm?" He raised a snowy eyebrow, smirking. Ryou swallowed, and blushed, a grin spreading across his face.

"Hey, Bakura." He said softly, still feeling bad about the night before. Bakura grinned, and crouched down beside the teenager boy. Ryou sighed, and then made a face. "Wow… 'Kura, did you drink a brewery dry, or something?" He blinked at the fumes on Bakura's breath. "Really…"

"You're so sexy when you're worrying about me." Bakura chuckled, holding Ryou's face in his hands. The whitenette blinked, and a blush tinted his cheeks. "Come here." Roughly, Bakura jammed his lips on Ryou's, feeling the boy squirm beneath him. Eagerly, the yami ran his tongue over Ryou's lower lip, asking for permission to enter his mouth. Ryou obeyed, and let out a long, low moan as Bakura deepened the kiss dramatically, still holding Ryou's face. The teenager moaned, his eyes drifting shut. _Yes!_ The whole plan depended on Ryou's eyes closing when Bakura kissed him, which was about as definite as the sun rising the next day, really.

Malik chuckled to himself as he snuck across the room. Ryou was moan and squirming against Bakura, clearly enjoying the kiss- And Malik didn't blame him. It looked damn hot. He made sure to keep absolutely quiet as he approached the desk, less than a foot away from Ryou. Gently, he lifted the bottle of vodka in his left hand, and unscrewed the cap. Carefully, without making a mess, Malik poured a goodly amount of the alcohol in Ryou's hot chocolate, and stirred it with a finger. He placed the tan digit to his lips, and raised an eyebrow. Not bad…

"W-Wow…" Ryou gasped as they broke away a few moments later. Malik had left the room. "You're a _really_ good kisser when you're drunk…" Bakura chuckled, and placed a chaste kiss on Ryou's lips, before standing up, and leaving the room.

"I better leave you to your studies, hm?"

* * *

"He's coming down the stairs." Bakura chuckled in his glass, shaking his head. Malik grinned despite himself, closing his eyes. Both were sprawled out on the couch, the bottle of vodka in Maliks' hand, and Bakura clutched a glass, a little of the liquid still in the bottom. "Oh, this is gonna be interesting…"

"I said it once." Malik said thickly. "And I'll say it again. Bakura, you are pure _evil."_ He leaned back against the couch, chuckling. This felt _great_. He never had to think about anything. Hell, Malik was the first to admit he was a complete neurotic. He always had the issue of looking at the consequences. He never let go. _Okay, so I'm a little paranoid after what happened a year ago... Okay. REALLY paranoid..._

"U-Um, 'Kura?" Ryou murmured as he walked into the lounge, holding a hand to his forehead. "I don't feel so good… Everything is whirling around and all blurry… Ugh." Bakura chuckled, and grabbed the bottle of vodka from Malik. He poured a little of the alcohol into the glass, and stood up, walking over to Ryou.

"This is medicine." Bakura said, pressing the glass into his hand. "Drink it. You'll feel better." He tried to keep his tone as soothing as possible. "Trust me." Ryou frowned, slightly, and looked down at the vodka.

"I-I don't know…" He mumbled, looking at the liquid still. "It smells funny…"

"All medicine smells funny." Bakura encouraged his lover. "Come on Ryou, I promise you will feel better." Ryou swallowed, biting on his lower lip. "Come on babe…"

"Okay." Ryou sighed, raising the glass to his lips. He _did_ feel really dizzy, and maybe this would help… The teenager gasped and made a face as he sipped the liquid, but managed to drink it all in a few gulps. "Oh…" He moaned, rubbing at his eyes. "That is really, really foul, Bakura…" He sighed, blinking. Were those black spots in front of his eyes? "I still don't feel so good…" Ryou gasped as he pitched forward, the glass slipping from his hand and crashing to the floor. Bakura's eyes widened, and he grabbed at Ryou's arm just before he was about to collapse, and pulled him into an upright position. "Ooohh…"

"Come over and sit on the couch." Bakura encouraged the light as he started to walk over to Malik, who was shaking in silent, sadistic laughter. "You need to keep your head… Must be a bug or something…"

"No." Ryou said weakly. "You did something to my drink. I thought it tasted a bit funny…"

"Bullshit." Bakura said casually as he gently set Ryou down on the couch beside the Egyptian. He flopped onto the black leather next to his lover. Ryou sighed, and rested his head on the yami's shoulder, closing his eyes.

"You're so evil." Malik giggled, taking a swig of vodka straight from the bottle. "Give him so more! He's only had half a glass…" Bakura smirked, and seized the bottle from Malik.

"Okay, honey." He said soothingly, shifting a little underneath Ryou. "Just take a sip of this, okay? It's more medicine baby, I swear." Ryou opened his eyes blearily. "Come on." He positioned the glass over Ryou's lips, and gently trickled a little of the alcohol into the teens' mouth, gently rubbing Ryou's throat to help him swallow. The whitenette allowed this for a few more moments, before he ducked his head, coughing and spluttering.

"You're… You're getting me drunk!" The boy gasped, lifting his chocolate gaze up to Bakura, his brown eyes wide and accusing. "You're so… Mean!" Bakura only chuckled, shaking his head.

"I wondered when you'd figure that out." He said thoughtfully, taking a sip of the vodka himself. "You're smashed, Ryou." He smirked, looking at the teen. Malik laughed as Ryou shook his head, rubbing at his nose.

"Not…" Ryou mumbled, holding two hands to his head. _Oooh... I don't feel well... Everything's rolling and blurring even more... I feel so dizzy_… "Not drunk…" Bakura only laughed harder, slapping Ryou on the back.

"Hate to say it babe, but you really are."

* * *

Ryou groaned, the earth tilting under his feet as he was led into his bedroom, Malik tugging on his hand. _What's going on_…

"Come here, Ryou." Malik sighed as he scooped Ryou in his arms and staggered the last few steps, before dumping the whitenette on the bed. Ryou groaned, and grabbed at the blanket, burying his head in it's softness. "I think you need to sleep it all off…"

"Dizzy." Ryou mumbled, his voice muffled in the coverlet. Malik chuckled, and rolled Ryou over, starting to unbutton his jeans. "What're you doin'?" He mumbled, holding a hand over his eyes. The Egyptian sighed.

"Nothing, Ryou. I'm only getting you out of these jeans. They're really not comfy to sleep in." Ryou nodded, and after Malik had tugged the denim off of his slim long legs, rolled over, and curled up on his side, sighing softly. Malik threw the jeans to the floor, and stared down at Ryou, who was half-asleep by this point.

He didn't want to do it. He really, really didn't want to do it. But the image of Ryou lying there, drunk –almost as drunk as him- with those long legs exposed, was all too much. Malik leaned down, and kissed Ryou.

The boys' eyes snapped open, and he rolled over onto his back as Malik kissed him, sliding onto the bed so he was straddling the whitenette's waist his tanned hands slowly, daringly, sliding up Ryou's shirt so he could touch that soft, pale skin he had been longing to do for months. Ryou moaned, his eyes drifting shut as he went lax into the mattress, loosely gripping Malik's arms.

And kissed him back.

It was a sloppy, drunken kiss, of alcoholic breath and muddled, murky minds. Ryou's shirt was gradually hitched up higher and higher as Malik started to rub small circles in his skin, slowly, softly grinding his hips into the young teen. Ryou's arms rose more and more, until they were linked around Malik's neck, the fingers tangling in his shirt. The pair continued their drunken, but passionate kiss for a few more moments, until they were interrupted by a cough behind them.

Malik froze, and broke the kiss instantly, sitting up. Bakura stood a foot away from them, his arms crossed, and eyes narrowed slightly. He didn't look pissed off, and when he sat down on the bed, just above Ryou, who was gasping for air.

"You need to share." Bakura muttered, somewhat smugly as he leaned down and kissed Ryou himself. The boy moaned, reacting instantly to the kiss. Malik say on the bed, his eyes narrowed in thought. Sharing… But…

Malik didn't want to think. He was far too drunk to comprehend what Bakura really meant. All he could think about was Ryou, sweet beautiful Ryou, who lay on the bed almost ready for the taking. And he needed Ryou. He needed to touch that skin with his hands, with his lips. He needed right at that moment to have the teenager writhing and gasping beneath him.

Bakura never objected when Malik leaned down, and started to nibble on the sensitive skin of Ryou's collarbone, and by the way Ryou arched his back and moaned, he must have known. Tentatively, Malik's hand resumed their previous exploration under Ryou's shirt, and he lowered his body slightly, wanting to feel Ryou fully beneath him.

_We're all drunk_. That was the one fuzzy thought, one sense of reason that went through Ryou's head as he was passionately assaulted by the two males. He didn't object as his shirt was roughly yanked over his head, leaving him in only his boxers. Ryou was still as he was attacked by two pairs of hands, two sets of lips. He felt like he couldn't move. It was like a paralysis of passion by Bakura and Malik, the sexual excitement building with every moment. It never for a moment, occurred to any of them that they were going to regret any of this tomorrow, that it would stretch their relationships to breaking point.

Because at that moment, it felt bloody damn good.

* * *

Hehehehe... Teh threesome! I should really write more than that...

I would say it is shit, but even if I think it is, people disagree, and then I feel like I'm only fishing for compliments.

But isn't that what posting fics here is all about? As well as like, sharing your work and stuff? In that case..

-fishfishfish-

Joking.

R&R!


	4. Chapter 4

Hii! I'm so sorry this is a bit late... Blehhehhh

I need a beta... -sigh-

Disclaimer: Own nothing.

_

* * *

__I have such a headache_… 

Ryou groaned, nuzzling his head into the soft pillow. The early morning light filtered through the window, bright and harsh against his eyes. Yawning, Ryou rolled over, choosing instead to bury his head in the crook of Bakura's neck. He made a face as the silky strands tickled his nose, and dug his nose deeper into the yami's skin, wrapping his arms around his waist.

_Wait…_ Ryou froze.

_This isn't Bakura_…

The teenager sat bolt upright in the bed, his chocolate eyes wide in shock at the figure that slept next to him. _Malik_…

"Oh…" Ryou whimpered, backing away on his hands. He gulped, and tentatively lifted the bedsheet, looking down at himself. _"Oh_…" _Please for the love of all things holy tell me we didn't sleep together_…_ Why don't I remember this? What on earth happened last night? What's going on? _

A soft groan came from behind Ryou. The whitenette gasped, and spun around, staring wide-eyed at Bakura on his right. _Oh, this is not good... Oh no, I didn't, did I? Oh_…

"Ryou?" Bakura opened his blood-shot eyes, and snapped them shut again, hissing at the light. "Baby?" He muttered, his hand over his eyes. "You all right?" Ryou let out a choked sob, still staring at Malik, who was sprawled out on his back, eyes closed and mouth lightly open. Ryou closed his eyes, and whimpered.

"No…" He whispered, starting to shake. "What's going on?" Bakura frowned, and lifted the hand from his eyes. Ryou swallowed. "Bakura… What happened last night?" The yami smirked, and chuckled.

"I got you and Malik pissed off your faces." Bakura smiled slightly in remembrance. "It was funny. You honestly would not stop laughing… Malik kept giving you more and more vodka and you just drank it… Fuck, we must have gone through a bottle and a half between us…"

"Um… Bakura?" Ryou tried his hardest to keep his voice steady. "The night didn't turn out… Well… We didn't all end up in bed or anything, did we?" Bakura, who was lying down on the bed still, only raised an eyebrow.

"Well, Ryou, you're sweaty, naked, and covered in come. What do you think happened?" Ryou blushed, and looked down, wiping anxiously at his stomach with a sheet.

"But… Were we _all_ involved?" Bakura narrowed his eyes, and sat up, looking over at the sleeping Malik.

"Oh _fuck_ no." Bakura snarled, baring his pointed canines. Ryou squeaked as the yami leaned over him, and started roughly shaking Malik's shoulder. "Oi! Wake up!" He spat angrily, glaring down at the sleeping Egyptian. Malik groaned, but kept his eyes shut. "Hey!" Bakura yelled this time, punching the blonde square in the chest. Malik gasped, and his eyes snapped open. The Egyptian stared around blearily for a moment, before his eyes widened in recognition.

"Shit." He gasped, his mouth falling open. "Oh _Shit." _The look in Bakura's face was murderous, and his eyes were almost glowing in his rage. "B-Bakura, man, I never meant to-"

"What the _fuck _is wrong with you!" Bakura spat, snarling at Malik, who bit his lip, and looked down, clenching his hands in the sheets.

"Bakura, it wasn't his fault." Ryou pleaded, lifting his imploring large brown eyes up to his darker counterpart. "You were the one who got us drunk like that… What did you think was going to happen?" Bakura growled, and crossed his arms, still looking pissed off. "Please… Does anyone remember what happened last night?" Ryou pleaded, self consciously pulling the sheet up higher, and looking down at his hands.

"Well… _Obviously_, we ended up sleeping together." Bakura muttered in a deadpan voice. "Because we were drunk. That's all there is to it. It didn't mean anything." At this, Bakura stared at Malik right in his lavender eyes, which were widening. "_Anything_." He emphasized. The Egyptian swallowed, and looked away, curling his fingers in the pale sheets.

"I get it, Bakura." Malik sighs, rubbing a hand over his eyes. Ryou blinked, and placed a slim hand on The Egyptians shoulder. Malik froze, and then shrugged the touch away, keeping his eyes downcast. "Where are my pants…"

"Over here." Bakura scowled as he leaned over the side of the bed, and grabbed the black denim. He threw the material unceremoniously over to the young teen, who grabbed them, keeping his eyes downcast. Ryou turned away, blushing as Malik stood up and pulled on his jeans, smoothing the wrinkled denim.

"I… I'm going to m-my room, or get breakfast, or… Something." Malik brushed hastily at his eyes before starting to walk out of the room. Ryou made a soft, strained noise in the base of his throat, and made to follow Malik, naked or not, but Bakura stopped with a firm grip on his shoulder.

"Just… Don't, Ryou." The light winced at the nails that dug into his skin. Ryou bit his lip, and shook his head, his eyes welling with sympathetic tears. "Ryou-"

"It's not fair!" Ryou wrenched himself away from Bakura's hold, and rolling out of the bed. Bakura growled, and quickly followed Ryou, grabbing his lover tightly around the waist. "H-Hey! Ryou protested, struggling against the yami. "I-I just want to talk to him, Bakura, I want to say I'm sorry…"

"Don't." Bakura turned Ryou around so he stared him in the eye. "Just leave it, Ryou. Leave it." Ryou sniffed, and blinked furiously.

"I-It's not fair…" The teenager repeated, starting to cry. Bakura sighed, and loosely wrapped his arms around Ryou's shoulders. "I feel so darn guilty Bakura… H-How could I let myself do this? I-I…" Bakura sighed as Ryou buried his head in his neck, sniffing, and giving odd, hiccupping little sobs. "I'm so sorry…"

"Hey…" Bakura bit his lip, subconsciously ruffling Ryou's hair. "It's not your fault…" He lifted Ryou's chin to look into those chocolate eyes, redrimmed and bloodshot. "I think you should go back to bed." The yami said simply. "You're hungover like fuck…" Ryou gave an odd little gasp, and swallowed. "Okay sweetie?" The whitenette nodded, and rubbed at his eyes. Bakura gently led Ryou back to the bed, and pulled the blankets over him once he had laid down on the bed. The yami sprawled out on the bed with a sigh, a sheet around his waist. He looked over at Ryou, and watched him as he slowly began to sink back into sleep, crying silently.

Bakura lay there for a long time, closing his eyes against the bright lights and wincing from his throbbing headache. He feigned sleep whilst he heard Ryou cry, his heart aching in guilt, and anger. _I'm going to get Malik for this. I swear. What the fuck is wrong with him? Ryou is mine. **Mine**. He is going to pay, I swear to the fucking Gods…_

* * *

Marik sighed sadly to himself, stirring the cereal absentmindedly with the silver spoon. Tears sprung to his eyes, but he pushed them away, and swallowed a hiccupping sob. Contrary to what he'd said, Malik didn't forget. Well, he didn't remember every single detail. But there were certainly some moments that stuck in his mind. But that seemed crueler than forgetting, having the memories dancing behind his eyes.

"Hey." Malik winced, and grasped the spoon tightly. "I thought you would be in bed or something."

"Headache." He muttered softly, swallowing. "Can't sleep…" Bakura snorted, and sat opposite the Egyptian, staring Malik straight in the eye.

"Cut the crap Malik." He muttered. "Why the fuck did you this?" The blonde momentarily closed his eyes, noting Bakura's angry tone. "Huh?"

"I don't know…" He whispered, close to tears. "I-I… I was drunk, Bakura. I didn't know what I was doing, and he was just…" Malik swallowed, and dropped the spoon, hiding his face in his hands. "Don't you think I wish it didn't happen?" His voice was muffled. "I… I love him so much… And you… And oh God…" Bakura frowned as Malik started to cry. "I'm really sorry Bakura… I'm so sorry… Please don't be mad at Ryou for this, please…"

"I'm not mad at Ryou." Bakura muttered, glaring at Malik's sandy head. "I'm at you. Fucking _hell_ Malik, I can't believe you would do this again! First you kiss him, and then…" He sighed. "You told me you had all of this under control. That was why I let you stay here, because I thought you weren't going to try getting into his pants again-"

"It's not like that!" Malik lifted his head, tears trickling down his cheeks. "It's not! You think that that's all I see in Ryou? It isn't Bakura, it isn't like that at all!"

"Then what is it?" Bakura stood up, his eyes narrowed in rage. "For fucks' sake Malik, look at what you're doing to him! He's in pieces over this already, he's going to be miserable!" Bakura groaned, and ran a hand through his hair. "He's not going to pretend that nothing has happened this time, Malik, you know that."

"I-I know…" Malik's voice cracked, and he looked away. "I-I don't know what I'm going to say or do… He's going to hate me…"

"Ryou can't hate." Bakura said simply. "It's impossible for him to hate anything."

"He hated you." Malik pointed out. "A few months ago…" Bakura sighed, and sat down, running a hand through his white tangles again.

"I beat the fuck out of him and raped him, Malik. There's a huge difference between that and loving someone too much." Malik sniffed, and wiped at his eyes.

"Do… Do you hate me?" The Egyptian looked up at Bakura, struggling to meet his eyes. The yami sighed.

"You screwed my fiancée."

"At the same time you did!" Malik countered. "We were all drunk…" Bakura shrugged. The blonde tried. "Do… Do you?"

"I don't know."

* * *

"M-Malik?" The Egyptian froze, and then buried his head deeper into the soft nest of blankets. "Malik… Dinner's ready if you want it…" Malik swallowed, feeling his heart clench at Ryou's soft, lightly accented voice. Ryou sighed, and walked across the room. The blonde felt the mattress sag slightly as Ryou sat down, and placed a slim hand on the small of his back. Malik bit his lip. "Please Malik, just say something… I'm really really sorry that this ever happened…"

"I'm not hungry." Malik mumbled into the pillow. Ryou sighed, and stood up, brushing tears from his eyes.

"Okay then, Malik." Ryou whispered, swallowing a sob. The Egyptian was still as Ryou left the guest room, softly closing the door behing him. When he was sure Ryou had gone, Malik rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

And cried.

* * *

Bakura sighed as he sat down at the dinner table. Malik was picking at his stir fry morosely, and Ryou's head was bowed, leaning on his clasped hands as his lips silently moved. The yami rolled his eyes, and seized his fork, stabbing at the steak on the plate before him.

"I don't know why you bother saying Grace." Bakura muttered, looking down at his cut of meat. "Your God gave up on you years ago…" He continued, although he only said soft enough for Malik to hear. Ryou shot him a glare as he lifted his head, and started to eat his food primly. The room was silent as all three of them ate, the air thick and tense. Bakura glared at Malik as he attacked his steak, and Malik returned the stare with an equal measure. Ryou kept his eyes downcast, eating slowly.

"You know…" Malik broke the silent a few long minutes later, his voice high and desperate. "There's only so many times I can apologize before it looses meaning, Bakura." The yami snapped his head up, and narrowed his eyes.

"Because sorry doesn't cover what you fucking did, Malik!" The yami slammed his knife down on the table, orbs crimson in his rage. "For gods sake, you fucked Ryou!"

"We were all _drunk_!" Malik retorted, his voice raising with every word. "And you were there as well!" Ryou gasped, and his fork clattered to his plate. He swallowed deeply, and pressed his lips together.

"Stop using that Malik, you can hold your alcohol much better than Ryou!" Bakura stood up, his hands balled into fists. "That was why you wanted to take him up to bed, because you just couldn't _wait_ to get into his fucking pants-"

"_I DIDN'T!_" Malik screamed, tears forming in his eyes. "I wasn't thinking straight, Bakura! Yes, all right, we had sex, but Ryou's gotten over it, and I want to as well, but you just wont let it go!"

"Oh, that's _it!"_ Bakura marched around the square table, up to Malik. "_Listen_ to yourself Malik! You fucked my fiancée and you're acting like everything is okay! Well-"

"_STOP IT!"_ Ryou stood up, banging on the table to prove his point. Both Bakura and Malik froze, and turned over to the youngest of the group. Tears threatened to spill from his chocolate orbs, but for once, he managed to hold it down. "_Please_… Bakura, Malik, stop fighting… I hate it so much…" Ryou gave an odd sob, and pushed his chair back, running into the closest sanctuary- the kitchen.

"See, now look at what you did." Bakura muttered in disgust. "For fucks sake Malik-"

"What the hell did I do?" Malik retorted. "You're the one that started yelling!"

"YOU started all of this!"

"Lay off that for once, Bakura!" Malik clenched his hands tighter. Bakura growled, and without warning, punched the Egyptian straight in the jaw. Malik gasped, and reeled back a pace, holding a hand to his throbbing jaw.

"You son of a _bitch_." It only took a couple of moments for Malik to regain his composure, and retaliate, punching Bakura right in the nose. Bakura staggered back, clutching his nose.

"You fucking little…" Bakura lowered his hands from his nose, and pounced. Malik gasped as Bakura launched himself at him, and started pounding him with his fists. "You fucking -son- of –a- _bitch_." Bakura gasped in between punches. The Egyptian was winded for a moment, but in a second, collected himself, and punched back as hard as Bakura was hitting him.

"_STOP IT!"_ Both heard Ryou screaming from the doorway to the kitchen, but ignored him, both intent on beating the crap out of each other.

"You goddamn bastard." Malik gasped as he slammed his fist into Bakura's stomach. "Ryou deserves better than you and you know it!" Bakura growled, and attacked Malik more fiercely. Ryou screamed.

"You take that fucking _back!" _Bakura screamed, now on all fours over the Egyptian. He punched Malik in the chest, earning a gasp from him. Ryou yelped, and yanked at the back of the yami's shirt.

"_STOP IT!_" Ryou sobbed again, grabbing at Bakura's arms, and finally dragging Bakura off of the Egyptian. "Stop it…" He repeated, crying as Bakura yanked himself free of his fiancée, and made to leap again onto Malik, who was coughing, and holding his stomach. "NO!" Ryou gasped, coming between the two with outstretched arms in an attempt to break them apart. "Don't do this…" He sobbed weakly, looking from one to the other, his chest heaving. "Please…" Bakura was shooting daggers down at Malik, his teeth bared and eyes narrowed almost to slits. Malik flopped onto the floor, breathless.

"Whatever." Bakura stood up, and stomped across the room. Ryou winced as the yami slammed the door with a force that made the walls shake, and suppressed a sob.

"I'm okay." Malik groaned, sitting up. He held a hand to his head, and sighed. "Fuck…" Ryou sighed, and crouched down beside the Egyptian, offering his hand. Malik accepted the appendage, and wrinkled his nose as he stood up, clutching his bruised ribs.

"I'm so sorry, Malik." Ryou whispered, rubbing at his eyes. "I-I'm really really sorry…"

"Don't be." Malik muttered, straightening himself and wincing. "You didn't do anything wrong…" Ryou swallowed a sob, and bit his lower lip.

"I wish Bakura wouldn't at like this…" Ryou sighed, sinking into a dining chair. "I-I mean, He's always saying these little things, and now he's outright fought you…"

"It's not only me, Ryou." Malik placed a hand on Ryou's shoulder, crouching slightly to look him in the eye. "He treats you like shit. I don't know how you can handle it." Ryou looked down, and bit his lip.

"He's better. Really, he is." Ryou argued, his eyes lowered. "I-I mean, he's still mean and nasty at times, but he can't help it, Malik, really…"

"He's a bastard." Malik mutters. "From the day he got his own body, He's been treating you like crap. He never stops to consider how you feel or anything, Ryou. I don't know how you put up with him."

"Because I love him." Ryou said simply, with an unreadable expression in his face. "Come on, Malik, you had a crush on him too." Ryou sighed. "I-I mean, there's just something about him that's so attractive… I-I don't know why, he's hot, definitely, but there's just something about the way he acts…" Ryou blushed. "I don't know. And he's um… Well, he is really good in bed…"

"That's um, lovely, Ryou." Malik rubbed the back of his head, and blushed. Ryou giggled.

* * *

Ryou sighed, wiping his hands one last time with the teat towel before he hung it over the handle of the oven. His chocolate eyes softened as he walked into the living room, Bakura slouching on the couch.

"Hey." Ryou said softly, taking a seat beside Bakura. Gently, he took one of his hands, and bit his lip. "You feeling any better?" The yami sighed, and kept his eyes away from the teenage boy. "Bakura?"

"Whatever." Bakura rolled his eyes, looking up at the ceiling. "I don't want to talk about it…" Ryou sighed, and settled more into the leather, drawing his knees up to his chest.

"I'm sorry all of this happened…" Ryou swallowed, keeping his eyes on his knees. "I… Why did you have to get us drunk, Bakura… I…" The teenager let out a long, shuddering sigh. "Gosh…"

"When is he going to be back." Bakura demanded tonelessly. Ryou sniffed, and rubbed at his nose.

"I-I don't know…" He replied honestly. "He just mumbled something about a call from his house sitter and left." Ryou bit his lip, and looked back up to Bakura. "Wh-why is this happening…" Bakura rolled his eyes.

"Maybe the damn house sitter is leaving and we can have the place to ourselves again." He muttered dryly, glaring at the television. Ryou swallowed.

"Bakura… Please don't be like this. Malik made a mistake. We all did that night. I've managed to move on, and so has Malik, so why can't you? I-I just don't understand…" Bakura's eyes narrowed.

"Because you're _mine_." The yami hissed. Ryou froze, his chocolate eyes widening. Bakura's mouth fell open as he realized his mistake, and he swore loudly. "Fuck. I mean… I… Shit…"

"So… I'm yours, am I?" Ryou's voice started to shake. "I-I'm just…"

"No…" Bakura sighed, shifting around so he could look at Ryou. "That came out completely wrong… Baby, I love you. And I don't want anyone else to take you. I just want you all to myself. How is that wrong?" Ryou swallowed, and looked down.

"I… I'm not some whore or anything, Bakura, I would never sleep with anyone else consensually. You know that…" Ryou tentatively reached out and cupped the yami's jawbone. "I love you more than the air I breathe yami…" Bakura gently leaned down, his nose almost touching Ryou's.

"And I love you too…" Bakura sighed. Like clockwork, Ryou's eyes fluttered close as the yami kissed him, running his tongue over perfect pale lips. Ryou opened his mouth obediently, a low moan rumbling in his throat as Bakura slid his hands up Ryou's back, snaking under the pale shirt. The boy's hands trembled as he slid from Bakura's jaw and curled in his hair. He was vaguely aware of the yami shifting and turning, until he was lying down on the long leather couch, Bakura fully stretched out on top of him. The yami was holding Ryou's face in his hands, teasingly kissing the teenager on the lips with soft, tender pecks. Ryou giggled between kisses, blushing.

"Fuck." Bakura sighed, as he kissed Ryou. "You… Are… So… Fucking… Pretty…" He ended the sentence with an especially long smooch, opening Ryou's lips with his tongue. The boy moaned, closing his eyes, and arching his neck. His hands were still on Bakura's back, his hails lightly scratching the pale skin, causing the yami to shiver ever-so-slightly in pleasure.

"Hello?" Bakura froze. Ryou's brown eyes snapped open in shock at Malik's voice, and sat up. Bakura jumped off of Ryou, and stood up, pulling his shirt down and glaring at Malik as he entered the lounge, not meeting their eyes.

"What the fuck are you here for?" Bakura demanded rudely, his hands on his hips. Ryou made a noise in the back of his throat, and stood up beside the yami, scratching the back of his head.

"Don't worry." Malik said shortly, sadly. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out his keys. "I won't be here for long." The Egyptian pulled off the key to the pretty white cottage from the ring, and set it down on the coffee table.

"Malik…" Tears sprung to Ryou's eyes. "No…"

"The house sitter was getting freaked because her notice was running out and she hadn't found a new place yet. I… I told her not to worry about it and she can stay in Isis's room and we'll split the rent." Ryou sat back down on the couch, and started to cry.

"No… Malik please, don't go because of this… Please…" Bakura was silent and stoic as Ryou swallowed a sob, looking coldly into lavender eyes, oddly bright with tears.

"I'll start packing tonight, and move everything tomorrow… It's not much, only a few boxes." Bakura's upper lip curled, and Ryou's sobs increased.

"Sure it can't be sooner?" The yami spat in odd sarcasm, fury on his face, and an odd smirk on his face. Malik narrowed his eyes, and swallowed.

"Fuck you too, Bakura." He muttered, turning and walking out of the lounge. Bakura's face contorted further in rage, and he made to chase the Egyptian teenager, but Ryou gave a strangled sob, and stood up, grabbing the back of his shirt.

"Don't…" Ryou was crying as he pressed his face in the back of Bakura's shirt, his chest heaving. The yami was frozen for a long moment, before he sighed, and turned around, wrapping his arms around Ryou's torso. The boy leaned into his shoulder, crying quietly. "I hate this Bakura… I hate all of this…"

Little did Ryou know, things hadn't even started to unravel.

* * *

Ryou sighed, shoveling another forkful of the food, (Which Jounouchi called 'yellow mush', and declared 'barely edible.') into his mouth. His brown eyes were staring vacantly at the white smeared table, and the babble of his friends washed over him, barely reaching his ears.

It had been three days since Malik had moved out.

Ryou swallowed the yellow mush with a long sigh, placing his head in his hands. He didn't know what to do. He'd called Malik once, but it was the house sitter who answered, and said Malik was busy (Although he had heard his voice in the background).

"Hey bud." Ryou blinked as he felt an arm on his shoulder. The whitenette raised his head, and looked tiredly up into the face of Jounouchi. "You 'kay?"

"Mhmm…" Ryou sighed and sat up straight, suppressing a yawn. "Just… A little tired, I guess." The blonde beside him looked concerned. "I'm fine… Just… Ugh. This food probably isn't helping, would it kill them to get some healthier food for us to-" Ryou froze, staring down in horror at the food.

_Idiot! You're supposed to be on a diet, and you're eating this? How are you going to be able to fit into Mum's dress if you eat this crap every day?_

_Oh dear.,. Oh this isn't good, there must be hundreds of calories in each serving... Oh dear, oh dear..._

"Bakura, you alright?" Jou's voice broke through his thoughts. "Ya look a little green around the gills…"

"I don't feel well." The boy blurted out, pushing his tray away from him. "I-I…" Ryou swallowed. "Have my lunch, Jou. I'm done…"

"Hey! No fair Bakura, how come I don't get any?" Ryou closed his eyes and smiled faintly. _Those two_… Ryou swallowed, the taste of the 'yellow mush' still on his tongue. His smile faded as he held two hands over his stomach.

_How can you expect to lose weight when you eat that garbage? You can't keep that trash in your system. You have to get rid of it now, before you absorb more of that fat... _Ryou swallowed deeply, and closed his eyes. His arms, now wrapped around his stomach, tightened, and he slightly bowed his head.

He could still clearly remember the time Bakura had forced him to throw up. He didn't think he would ever be able to forget what had happened. It hurt, yeah, but Ryou remembered how skinny he had been. _I don't want to be that skinny again, just drop a few pounds... And if it will make Bakura happy... Then that's good, isn't it?_ Ryou swallowed, and bit his lip. He remained silent in his seat for a long time, staring at the space on the table where his tray was.

_Come on, you know you have to do it. Do it now, before you absorb even more calories than you need. _Ryou let out a long shuddering sigh. _Do it._

_Okay..._

"U-Um… I'm not feeling very well…" Ryou murmured under his breath, making sure to avoid eye contact with everyone at the lunch table. "I-I'm um… I have to go to the bathroom." Ryou's hands were shaking as he stood up, and tears sprang to his eyes as he almost flew from the lunch room. It was a short sprint down the corridor to the closest male bathroom, and thankfully, it was empty. Ryou raised his eyes heavenward for a moment, and his lips moved in a silent prayer of thanks for the empty lavatory.

Ryou's breathing grew more erratic as he closed the toilet door behind him. He leaned against the mock-wood, and slid down to the tiled floor, taking a deep breath. _Okay Ryou... Just think of the calories you'll be missing out on. I bet all of that fat would have made your weight rise to 119 pounds or something, and you need to be 110 at the most to fit into that dress_…

Ryou swallowed as he stared at the white porcelain bowl. His breath shaky and harsh, he started to crawl across the white tiles. When he had reached his goal, Ryou started to sweep his long snowy hair behind his shoulders, tucking the milky strands in his collar as best as he could. Ryou took a deep breath, and leaned over the toilet bowl, staring into the pool of water in the bottom.

He couldn't believe he was going to this. Projectile-vomiting? Yeah, he needed to be thin, but he wasn't a bulimic! Ryou swallowed, feeling the food turn into a lump in his stomach.

_Do it._

_Do it._

Ryou let out a long, trembling breath, and opened his mouth. He placed two fingers in his mouth, and closed his eyes trying to remember exactly how Bakura had done this, so many weeks ago. It seemed like a lifetime. Ryou swallowed again, feeling those muscles at his throat gently touch one finger. The teenager gasped, as such a small amount of contact sent a deep shudder through his slender frame. _Oh Gosh... _Ryou shook, tears forming in his brown eyes. _Oh gosh..._

"Bakura?" Ryou's doe brown eyes widened, and his mouth fell open. _Wh-What_… "Bakura, it's Jou and I. Are you okay?" Ryou closed his eyes, and two tears trickled down his cheeks at the sound of Yugi's voice. "Bakura?"

"I-In here." Ryou's voice was hoarse as he leaned against the grey wall of the cubicle, feeling dazed. He saw the feet of his friends approach the cubicle, and he drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself, curling into a tight ball.

"Bakura? You 'kay bud? Ya kinda ran out on us in there." Ryou closed his eyes as the door was tentatively opened, and buried his head in the cold comfort of his knees.

"'M Sorry…" Ryou mumbled, feeling his shoulders shake with the awful realization of what he was about to do crashing down on him.

"Oh, Bakura…" Ryou kept his head firmly in his knees as Yugi and Jou knelt beside him. "What's wrong?" The whitenette gave an odd hiccup. "Ryou?" He froze as he felt a soft touch on his arm.

"I-I…" Ryou lifted his head slightly, looking up at Yugi and Jou with red eyes and tearstains. "I almost did something r-really stupid…" He swallowed a hiccup. Yugi's maroon eyes narrowed slightly, and he bit his lip.

"What's going on, Bakura?" Yugi's voice was suspicious, and Jou was staring at Ryou with an unreadable expression on his face. Ryou's chin was trembling as he closed his eyes momentarily, fresh tears coursing down his cheeks.

"I-I suppose I should-should tell you…" Ryou swallowed, burying his head back in his hands. "I-It's not just the… Oh, I don't know where to begin…" He was almost hyperventilating, and Yugi sighed, feeling one of his heartstrings twang in pity.

"I… I guess you need to start at the beginning, Bakura." Yugi said softly. Ryou sighed, and nodded, raising his head again, and wiping at his eyes.

"P-Promise you won't tell Yami?" Ryou whispered, his voice high and desperate. Yugi nodded, and Jounouchi was frowning slightly, looking deep in thought.

"Promise."

* * *

Meh...

R&R?


	5. Chapter 5

Holy hell dudes... I wrote this all in practically one sitting... -.-

You're all going to kill me... -whimper-

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

"Th-This is so _stupid!"_ Ryou sniffed, wiping at his eyes. "Wh-why can't I ju-just stop _crying_?" Yugi rubbed softly at Ryou's back as he cried, and Jounouchi ripped off a few squares of toilet paper, and handed it to the whitenette, who dabbed at his red eyes. "I hate this…"

"It's okay, Bakura." Yugi said kindly, still rubbing Ryou's back. "You're allowed to cry you know… Why didn't you tell us any of this before?" Ryou swallowed, and wiped at his eyes with the rag again, looking at his hands.

"W-Well…" The boy raised his eyes to meet Jounouchi briefly. "I-I did tell Jou a little bit… Like, how Ba- The spirit and I were getting married, and… stuff." The whitenette looked down, biting his lower lip.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Yugi flashed Jou a look before staring at Ryou. "I wouldn't have been angry or anything…" The whitenette closed his eyes momentarily.

"I-I'm sorry… But I just didn't want Yami to find out. I-I know it sounds paranoid, but he'd try and break us up, I know it." Ryou swallowed, and let out a choked sob, wiping at his eyes. "A-And I don't want things to go wrong again… I-I don't think I can take it…" The boys' shoulders shook as he started to cry again. He was horribly embarrassed for breaking down completely in front of his friends, but once he'd started, it just seemed that he was unable to stop. Jounouchi was perched on the edge of the toilet, looking down at his hands, and Yugi crouched beside the crying teenager, rubbing his back and murmuring soft words of comfort.

The bell rang, outside in the corridor. All three boys jumped at the sound, and Ryou sighed, rubbing at his raw, red eyes.

"W-We should get to class…" The whitenette whispered, staring down at his shoes. "I-I'd hate for you to get in trouble on my account…" Jounouchi rolled his eyes in exasperation, and stood up, extending a hand.

"Bakura, you're our friend. So what if we get detention? It's not like I've never had it before… If you want, Yug' and I can take you down to the nurses office, and call…" Jounouchi paused for a moment. "_him._ If you can't be at school, then don't force yourself." Ryou smiled shakily, and his chocolate eyes sparked slightly.

"T-Thankyou Jounouchi…"

* * *

Ryou pressed his lips together as he closed the front door behind him. He could hear the television going in the lounge, and took that to mean that his darkness was watching television. He kicked off his shoes, and shrugged off his coat, heading into the living room. Bakura lifted his head slightly, and blinked at Ryou.

"What's wrong?" Bakura sat up, his intuition instantly kicking in when he realized Ryou was close to tears. "Come here…" He sighed, opening his arms. The boy sniffed, and ran into Bakura's arms, tucking his legs up onto the couch. Ryou buried his head into Bakura's shoulder, and started to cry. "What happened today?" The boy hiccupped softly, and sniffed, shaking softly. "Ryou?"

"I-I a-almost did something terrible today…" Ryou whispered, his voice muffled softly by Bakura's shirt. "I-I wasn't thinking straight, I know. I was just thinking about how I needed to be skinny so badly, and I… I…" Bakura gritted his teeth.

"Ryou." He grabbed the boys' shoulders, and held him at arms length. "What happened?" The teenager let out a long sigh. "Baby?"

"I-I was in lunch…" He swallowed deeply, lowering his red-rimmed eyes. "I… I was eating the food, and I don't know what came over me, b-but I realized what it was I was eating, and I got really scared, because I need to lose weight, and I don't know what happened inside me, but I got these horrible ideas in my head and-and-"

"Ryou." Bakura raised the boys' chin to look him in the eye. "What happened to you?" Ryou gave a hiccup.

"I-I tried to make myself throw up." A few tears leaked from chocolate orbs. He felt Bakura's hands on his body tighten, and Ryou bit his lip, looking away from the yami. "I-I don't know why I did, but I-"

"Wait." Bakura's voice was slow, and disbelieving. "You… You made yourself throw up?" Ryou shook his head, and rubbed at his eyes.

"I-I didn't actually do it." The teenager sighed. "But I wanted to… I-I don't know why, I was just… Just…"

"_Why?_" The question was short, but at the same time, full of emotion. Ryou couldn't look into Bakura's crimson eyes, which were so full of so many different emotions. He chose instead to look down at his lap, and the twisted mess of his hands.

"I don't know…" Ryou whispered, closing his eyes. "I-I really don't. I was so confused, and I'm just being run ragged from all of this… I can't stand to see you and Malik fighting, Bakura. I hate it. I hate it so much. All I want is to have things back to the way they used to be, you know? I want you two to be friends. I can't deal with all of this tension Bakura…" Ryou gave a choked sob, and buried his head in Bakura's neck. "I-I just can't." Bakura let out a long sigh, one hand rubbing the small of Ryou's back. "It seems like everything's going wrong. I only want to be with you, 'Kura. I-It's all I want."

"It's all I want too…" Bakura murmured, his lips in Ryou's hair. "But I can't forgive Malik for sleeping. Maybe sometimes in the future… But not now. Just thinking about it…" The yami let out a long breath. "It just makes me sick." Ryou swallowed, and let out a long sigh. "I don't want to go through this again…" He sighed, his chin resting on Ryou's head.

"Neither do I." Ryou whispered.

* * *

"Mail…" Ryou sighed to himself as he sorted through the thick pile of envelopes. "Bills… Bills… Junk mail… Another bill." Bakura grunted at the table, nibbling on his toast, off in his own world. Two weeks had passed since Ryou had broken down, and Bakura was starting to think the white-haired teenager had a point. _He's basically the only friend I have. Nobody else understands me like he does, and he's fun to get drunk with..._

"Bakura?" The yami blinked as Ryou hovered in front of him, holding out a letter. "It's for you… From Domino Arts college… Strange." Bakura's eyebrows creased in a frown, and he snatched the envelope from Ryou's hand, and tore open the top with deft bony fingers. A single white sheet of paper was inside, and Bakura tugged it out, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"What does it say?" Ryou tilted his head to one side, his brown showing nothing but innocent curiosity. _If this is a plot, Ryou's got nothing to do with it_… "Yami?" Bakura blinked, and turned his attention back to the letter.

"Dear Mr. Bakura." He started, raising his eyebrows at the Mr. in front of his name. _No one's called me mister before... Ryou's called me master, but this is totally different_… "We have viewed the portfolio you submitted four weeks ago, and due to the unique nature of your work, you have been accepted into the next semester at Domino college of Visual arts- What the _Fuck?_" Bakura raised his head from the letter, and his mouth fell open. Ryou was sitting in a chair beside him, a similar look of shock and confusion on his face. "There must be mistake…" Ryou blinked repeatedly. "I never applied to any college, although Malik did-" Bakura froze, and crumpled the letter in his hand, his face contorting in rage. _Malik_…

"What's going on?" Ryou inquired as Bakura threw the crumpled letter on the table, snarling. "Kura?" The yami stood up, and marched over to the phone. Ryou winced at Bakura, and took the letter in his hands, smoothing out the crumpled letter on the table. _This is strange_…_ But how would Malik send in a portfolio? Unless he looked through Bakura's sketchbook_…_ Even I'm not allowed to do that_.

"Hello?" Bakura snarled down the phone. Ryou guessed that it was Malik's roommate from his tone, and cringed as he almost shouted for Malik.

"Kura, I think-"

"You!" Ryou winced. "Who the fuck do you think you are? I got a fucking letter from Domino arts college saying I was accepted into the winter semester. Do you know _Why?_" Ryou swallowed, and stood up. "Yes, I _gathered_ that you submitted my sketchbook. You had no right to do that! It's fucking private!" The light stood beside Bakura, trembling. "Oh, I'm _going_ to fucking cancel, don't you worry!" Bakura threw the phone to the ground, which shattered. Ryou gasped.

"K-Kura…"

"That fucking _asshole!_" Bakura raged, kicking the wall in his anger. "I can't believe he would go through my sketchbook!" Ryou sighed, and placed a hand on Bakura's shoulder, but the yami swatted it away. "That…" He sat down, shaking in rage. "Little…" Bakura set his teeth.

"Kura, please…" Ryou whispered, taking the seat next to him. "Tell me what's happening…" The yami sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

"He did send it in to them." Bakura snarled. "That fucking _bitch!_ You both know how private my book is! It's not like I read your journal or anything, when is he going to respect people's fucking _privacy-"_

"Bakura." Ryou said firmly, placing two hands on Bakura's shoulders. "Listen to yourself. Please, calm down, I-I hate to see you so angry…" He whispered. "Calm down," He repeated, keeping his eyes locked with the yami. "Please…" Bakura let out a long sigh, and unclenched his fists.

"I'm going to get him today." Bakura muttered. "Right after I go down to cancel. Like I need to go to some _school._ I didn't go in my last life, I don't need to now." Ryou shrugged, and lowered his eyes. "What… You think this is a good idea, don't you?" The teenager blinked.

"We-Well… I… I don't know…" Ryou stammered, flushing. "I mean… I'm always scared you're going to get caught stealing…" Bakura let out a derisive snort.

"Ryou, I'm ashamed in you. I don't get caught. Ever." He rolled his eyes. "I don't need to go to any school." Ryou opened his mouth, thought the better of it, and shut it. "What? Spit it out boy."

"I just thought that maybe people would start respecting you…" Ryou murmured, raising his eyes to the ceiling. "Or at the least, think higher of you." Bakura only rolled his eyes. "Don't listen to me then…"

"I'm listening." Bakura sighed. Ryou shook his head, a frown knitting his eyebrows.

"No… I think you're hearing, but you're not listening." Ryou explained. He reached out, and took one of Bakura's hands. "Do you ever feel like you're wandering through life without a purpose, Yami? Like you weren't put on this world for a particular purpose, you're just here to exist?" Bakura blinked.

"No." He half-lied. "I know what my purpose is. Vengeance. Not some stupid _school_. I'm sitting in a class all day with people telling me what to do." Ryou sighed.

"You're thinking of high school." The teenager murmured. "College is different. You'd only have a class or two each day, and no one would be telling you what to do. They'd be watching what you do, and giving advice. And if you graduate, then you'd be given a job painting or drawing. Were you really going to steal for the rest of your life?"

"Yes." Bakura snarled, standing up, and snatching the letter in his hands. "I don't need this school. I'll call-" He glanced at the shattered phone. "I'm gonna go over there when I drop you off, and cancel, and we'll hear no more about it, do you understand?" Ryou sighed.

"Okay, Bakura." He whispered, looking down. "But, you know, to get into a college, even an arts college, you need high school experience in the courses you want to take. You must be good if they're letting you in when you've had no earlier education." Ryou picked up his school bag, and swung it over his shoulder. "Think about that."

The yami didn't know what to say.

* * *

"Here it is." Bakura muttered to himself as he parked the Mercedes. He shut the door behind himself and locked it, staring up at the building. It was almost entirely made of red brick, and the college was fenced in wrought iron, with a gate, and an arch, bearing the phrase _Domino College of Visual Arts_. The yami sighed. _Could be worse..._ A few students milled around a central lawn just beyond the arch. _Maybe they know where to go..._ Bakura stalked towards the group of four girls, who stopped their conversations, and stared at him.

"Hey, cutie." The tallest one purred, eyeing Bakura's lean form. The yami refrained from twitching. _I am **not** cute._

"Can you tell me where the administrative block is?" Bakura ignored the comment of the girl. One of the others giggled.

"Yeah, it's the next block of buildings on the left." She said. "Are you coming here next semester? I can show you around-"

"_No_." Bakura said firmly. "I came here to cancel." At that, he turned and walked off, leaving the girls behind. _If hormonal sluts like that are going here, then I wont touch it with a ten foot pole_… The yami jogged over to the second building. The words _Administration block_ were embellished in brass above the door. Bakura marched through the door, and blinked at the hallway. He walked down it, but every so often, couldn't help but stop and stare at the various pieces of artwork that adorned the walls. _These were done by students here? They're really good_… Although didn't realize it, a small piece of him was starting to cave in.

"Hello?" Bakura realized that'd he'd entered a large room, lined with chairs. A woman was typing at a computer behind a wall of glass, but she ignored him. Bakura rolled his eyes, and marched over to the screen glass. He banged on the glass wall, making her jump.

"U-Um, H-Hello?" The woman was startled, holding a hand over her racing heart. "How may I help you, sir?" Bakura blinked. _Sir? I could get used to that..._

"I got this letter in the mail." Bakura held up his acceptance letter. "And I need to talk to… Whoever it is you talk to." The receptionist frowned.

"Oh, Well, I can pencil you in with a meeting with our entrance advisor next week-"

"I want to cancel." Bakura retorted. "I was submitted without my consent, and I want to withdraw my application from this… school." She frowned slightly, and then blinked.

"Um, I'm not authorized to do that… I'm only a temporary worker, you'll have to come in late next week-"

"No." Bakura gritted his teeth, slamming his hands on the desk, making the receptionist jump. "I'm doing this today, so I don't have to come back to this hole. _Now_, is there someone else I can talk to?" The woman opened her mouth, but she was cut off by a cough. Bakura whirled around, and narrowed his eyes. A middle aged man stood opposite him, blinking. "Yes?"

"Professor Igarashi." The man raised an eyebrow. "And you are?"

"Bakura." The yami muttered through gritted teeth, his fist tightening on the letter. The professor nodded.

"It's ah, a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Bakura." He said pleasantly. Bakura scowled.

"It's just Bakura." The white-haired yami continued to lock his jaw. "No first name." _Or is it no last name?_ "I came here about this." He thrust the letter into the male's chest, who took it, blinking in surprise. He read the letter, and his eyes widened.

"Oh yes…" He murmured. "I remember seeing your portfolio… Simply astonishing work. I'm a member of the committee that selects new entrants each semester, you see, and your work stood out a mile…"

"It's not that good." Bakura said gruffly. Despite what he said though, the seed of pride returned, and swelled slightly in his chest.

"It was _fantastic_." The professor beamed. "And you claim to have no previous education? Where do you draw your inspiration from? No, no, that's too private-"

"Look." Bakura almost stamped his foot in exasperation. "I want to _cancel_. I never wanted to go to a college, okay? Someone found my sketchbook and sent it in. I don't know if it was a sick joke or what, but the point is, I don't want this. Give it to someone who does."

"But you deserve it." The male said mildly. "And your sketches are amazing, with proper education and resources, who knows where you could take your art?" Bakura rolled his eyes. "Look… Why don't I give you a personal tour of the college? I don't have any classes for an hour, and I can answer any questions you may have." Bakura rubbed at one temple.

"If I take this damn tour, will you leave me alone?" He asked, struggling to keep his voice civil, although he wanted nothing more than to either stab this guy, punch him over, or send him to the shadow realm.

"Yes." The professor assured Bakura, struggling to keep a small smile on his face. He hated seeing good talent go to waste.

"Fine, then."

* * *

"Domino College of Visual Arts, how may I help you?"

"Hi, yeah… I need to speak to professor Igarashi."

"Is he expecting your call?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Okay, I'll put you though."

"Oh hell…"

"Hello, Professor Igarashi speaking."

"Professor, hey, it's me."

"Bakura lad? Is that you?"

"Yes… And I've been thinking about the whole college thing…"

"Have you reached a descision?"

"Um, yeah."

"What have you decided?"

"Well… It's not like I'm poor, and I don't have a job, so the days can get boring, and Ryou is nagging me like hell- That's my fiancée…"

"Is this a yes?"

"…"

"Bakura?"

"Yeah, I suppose it is."

* * *

"Cooking dinner?"

Ryou looked up from the steak in the pan to Bakura, who leaned in the doorframe, surveying the teenager. Ryou nodded, turning the steak.

"It's done." Ryou whispered, placing the slice of meat on a plate. Bakura took it, and stacked the meat without the plate, which he handed to Ryou. The teenager made a face, and took the plate over to the sink, running it under the hot tap.

"What about you?" Bakura asked thickly, halfway through the steak. "Aren't you hungry?" Ryou swallowed, and shook his fluffy white head.

"No… I-I had a big lunch." The teen faked a smile. "Ignore me, yami, I'm fine." Bakura polished off his steak, and watched as Ryou attempted to leave the room. Bakura grabbed a skinny wrist before he could leave however, and turned Ryou, forcing the white-haired boy to look at him.

"Liar." He raised an eyebrow. "You told me two days ago that the cafeteria food made you sick, and you weren't going to eat it anymore." Ryou's eyes widened, caught in his own trap. "Hm?"

"W-Well…" The boy stammered, lowering his eyes. "I…"

"Why aren't you eating?" Bakura gently look Ryou's chin, and lifted it with a finger. "What's wrong?" The light swallowed, and shook his head, white strands of hair falling into his eyes.

"Nothing, yami." He said weakly. "I need to lose a bit of weight, is all. When I'm a hundred and ten pounds, I'll stop. That's how much I need to weigh, really." Bakura regarded the light with a look of suspicion.

"That's how anorexics start." He muttered. "Soon, it'll be ninety and then eighty, then-"

"No." Ryou shook his head firmly. "Please trust me, Bakura. It's fine. I'm not going to make myself sick. I know what I'm doing…" He sighed at the look on Bakura's face. "Really…"

"I see more of your body than anyone else, Ryou." Bakura said softly. "You're thin enough as it is… Why would you want to be thinner?" The teenager nibbled on his lower lip. "Just… Why?"

"Well…" Ryou sighed. "It's… If I told you it was for the wedding, would you let it go?" Bakura raised an eyebrow. "Because it is."

"Oh?" Bakura rolled his eyes. "How?" Ryou ran a finger through his hair. Bakura chuckled, and kissed the boy softly on the lips. "You're too cute." He murmured into Ryou's hair. "If it's that important to you, then I suppose it'll be okay…" Ryou giggled, and flung his arms around Bakura's neck, kissing him again.

"I love you, Yami." Ryou sighed, their noses touching. Bakura smirked.

"Although…" He purred, running his hands up Ryou's shirt, under his back. "I might have to start doing nightly… inspections." He slowly started sliding his hands back down Ryou's back. The whitenette's breath hitched as Bakura slid the tips of his fingers inside the waistband of Ryou's jeans. "Just to make sure…." Ryou squeaked as Bakura teasingly groped his rear, and then started to laugh.

"You're the most insatiable person I've ever met Yami, I swear."

* * *

"Kura?"

"Mmmmm…"

"I've been thinking."

"You have? Don't hurt yourself."

"Hey!" Bakura chuckled, shaking his head. Ryou pouted cutely, and looked up from the yami's shoulder, where he was comfortable snuggling. "Meanie…"

"What is it?" Bakura raised an eyebrow slightly confused. Ryou sighed, and then cleared his throat.

"Well…" He murmured, raising his eyes heavenwards for a moment. "It's six o clock on a Friday night, and you're stuck here home with me." Bakura frowned.

"So?" He snuggled deeper into Ryou. "It's comfy." The teenager sighed.

"Yeah, but I have heaps of homework to slog through. I'm only going to watch the news and then go and study. You've been sitting around the house all day." Bakura shrugged.

"So? Nothing wrong with it, is there?" Ryou groaned.

"Why not go out?" He asked. "Like, to a bar or something. You used to do that a lot."

"Who with, myself?" Bakura asked. "What fun…"

"Well…" Ryou said carefully, trying to think about the best way to phrase his suggestion. "Why not um, why not as Malik to go with you?" Bakura froze. "Come on, 'Kura, can't you just make up with him? You're in the wrong as much as he is over the threesome thing, and you've accepted the college application for next year anyway, so-"

"I'd rather not." Bakura muttered looking away. "I'm not ready to forgive him…"

"Why not?" Ryou sat up. "It's been over a month now. I'm sure of you go out with him tonight, you'll remember how much fun you guys have, and maybe you'll find a way to forgive him." Bakura raised an eyebrow.

"Get drunk with him again?" He asked. "Yes, that went so well last time…." Ryou groaned.

"Look, 'Kura." Ryou sighed. "Things have changed since you and Malik started being hostile. I don't know what, but something's just… off. And I don't like it, I really don't. Nothing would make me happier than having you two be friends again right now. I'm serious." Bakura ran a hand through his wild silver tangles. "Please, can you try and patch things up with him?" The yami sighed.

"Yeah then, okay. I'll call him and we'll meet at our hangout at eight." He lightly pressed Ryou's nose. "But you owe me big in the bedroom, okay?" Ryou giggled.

"How big?" He asked, feigning innocence. Bakura smirked.

"Well, let's say we'll certainly be bringing out the lingerie…" Ryou shook his head smiling.

"Insatiable, Insatiable…"

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

The music was way too loud.

His heartbeat seemed to beat in rhythm with the pounding bass line, and he couldn't move, pressed in by the writhing sweating bodies of the dancers.

Fuck, Bakura loved it.

"You're late." The yami smirked as he took a seat at the bar. Malik gave a small, shaky smile in return, keeping his eyes focused on his drink. "Malik?"

"Why am I here?" The Egyptian looked up at Bakura, soft lavender eyes wide, confused, and… Childish.

That's when Bakura realized what he'd forgotten almost all of this time.

Malik was a child. He was still sixteen. The thought struck him like a hammer. He hadn't even started to live his life yet. He was still a boy. And what was more, he had a horrible start in life. He'd seen things and done things no one should see and do in their whole life, and he wasn't seventeen yet. Malik was a hormonal teenage boy, whose emotions were wavering up and down like a yo-yo. He may have been a twisted psycho, but he was still a child. He was going to make a lot of mistakes in life, and still had a lot of growing up to do. And aside from that, he was alone. His only other family was on the other side of the world, and he wouldn't see them again for a long time. Bakura and Ryou was the only family he had right now.

And in that one moment, eyes locked with Malik, surrounded by thudding music and blue, flashing lights, and loud cheers and dancers, Bakura forgave him. Malik was going to make a lot more stupid choices as he grew up, and he needed friendship and guidance from someone more experience and wisdom, not an enemy to yell at him or be cruel.

"Because…" Bakura sighed, closing his eyes. "I want to forgive you… And apologize for being such an asshole." Malik blinked. This certainly wasn't what he was expecting.

"Um… you're forgiven?" The Egyptian was still confused. "I don't understand…" Bakura sighed, and took a sip of Malik's drink.

"That's what I mean." He muttered. "There's a lot of things you don't understand, Malik. I forget that you're only sixteen. You were a drunk teenager with another drunk teenager. And I was involved, too. I could have stopped it, but I didn't." Bakura took a deep gulp of the liquid. "You've been through shit your entire life, and hey, I can relate to that." Malik was silent, looking at his shoes. "You don't need shit now… And I don't need to drag it on." Bakura drained the glass. He finally looked over at Malik, who was still staring at his feet. "I'm sorry."

"Of course you're forgiven." Malik broke into a small smile, and lifted his head. "You're practically the best friend I've ever had, Bakura. I know I did something stupid, but we all did that night." He looked the yami in the eye. "What made you change your mind like this?"

"Because." The yami said gruffly, breaking the gaze. This time, he was the one to look down at his shoes. "It really only occurred to me just now how young you really are."

* * *

"I cannot _believe_ you're going to college." Malik giggled as he stumbled down the middle of the street. Bakura was beside him, shaking his head an chuckling.

It was 1AM, and both of the males were very drunk.

"_You _were the one who entered me." Bakura countered, staggering slightly. _Woaa_… Malik chuckled, and caught Bakura around the arms before he fell. "Next year, 'm gonna be a college boy… Don't the chicks dig that or something?"

"Yeah, but you have Ryou." Malik reminded the darkness. Bakura sighed.

"Ah, yes, innocent baby Ryou…" He chuckled, righting himself and half-running, half staggering down the middle of the street. "God, I love him so much…" He sighed, slowing. "Oooh, I feel sick…" He moaned, doubling over. Malik sighed, and ran to Bakura's side.

"You all right?" The Egyptian bit his lip. Bakura nodded, his head in his hands. Malik sighed, and straightened himself, stretching in the cold night air.

That was when he saw the car.

"Shit!" Malik cursed, grabbing at Bakura's arm and hauling him off. He stared at the two headlights, which were by now only feet away. _The driver must be drunk too_… "Bakura, move." Malik tried to drag Bakura, but it was no use. In pure panic, Malik pushed Bakura out of the way. The squealing of brakes filled the night air, and the blonde was sent sprawling on his hands and knees, swearing.

"What the fuck!" The drunk staggered out of the car, cursing. "Get Offa the fucking road!" Malik gasped, and straightened himself, holding a hand over his chest. _Slow down._ He told his racing heartrate. "Ya coulda been killed!"

"Get on the right side of the road!" Malik retorted. He made to take a step back, but tripped on a loose stone, and was sent sprawling on his rear. "Fuck." Malik sighed. He cast a look over to Bakura, who was lying spread eagled on the pavement, closed eyes looking up at the sky. _Probably passed out_… "Bakura." Malik giggled, shaking the yami's shoulder. "Wake up time…" He shook Bakura harder, but there was no response. "Bakura?" He was slightly worried now.

And then he saw the blood.

A dark pool of red dripped from the back of Bakura's head, and into the gutter. Malik's stomach went cold, especially when he noticed hot the back of his head would have connected with the sharp corner of the pavement with severe force.

_Shit._

"Bakura!" Malik screamed, sitting up properly, and shaking both of the yami's shoulders. "Wake up man, wake up!" His stomach felt as though he's swallowed a lump of ice. "Bakura, this isn't funny!" Malik's heart raced in panic, and bile rose in his throat. _Oh God, oh God_…

"Wake up!"

* * *

_Bring Bring!_

Ryou gasped, the sound of the phone instantly snapping him out of a dreamless slumber, he sat bolt upright in bed, and held a hand over his chest. _Oh goodness..._

_Who could be ringing at this time of night?_ Ryou blinked, disorientated. A small seed of fear grew in his heart when he realized Bakura's side of the bed was empty. He swallowed, and looked over at the bedside clock. Five AM… His heart started to beat faster as he lifted the receiver to his ear.

"Hello?" His voice was tight, and laced with fear and suspicion. "Who is it?" He heard shallow, panicked sobs on the other end, and a voice that sounded heartbreaking familiar…

"Ryou…" The whitenette clutched the receiver tight. _Malik_… "Ryou, I'm so sorry…"

"S-Sorry about what?" Ryou's heart sank. _Oh no, Bakura. Don't say it Malik, don't say it, please don't way it._.. Despite his deepest pleas, Malik took a deep breath, and uttered the four destructive words that Ryou wanted so hard not to hear, four words that broke his entire world, leaving only twisted, shattered fragments.

"There's been an accident."

* * *

The hospital was strangely busy at 5:30 AM.

That was why nobody noticed Ryou at first, lingering in the doorway of the waiting room, eyes wide in disbelief. It felt as though the wind was knocked out of his lungs, and no matter how deep he breathed, it wouldn't return. Ryou's chocolate orbs roved around the room anxiously, searching for his Egyptian friend. He found Malik sitting in a corner, his head his hands. Half stumbling, half running, Ryou headed over to the blonde, and sank into the seat beside him.

"What happened?" Ryou whispered, his eyes brimming with fresh tears. He heard Malik let out a sob beside him, and swallow reply. "M-Malik?"

"Th-There was a car coming." Malik's voice was odd-sounding, and far away. "I pushed him out of the way, and…" He swallowed. "There was so much blood Ryou, so much blood… I was so bloody scared…" Ryou started to cry, and Malik wrapped his arms around the light in a warm embrace. All Ryou would think about was Bakura. What was happening? Where was he? Was he awake? Was he unconscious? Or was he… Ryou shut his mind off to that thought. _No. He can't be, he can't._

Dawn was starting to stain the sky a fiery gold when the doctor approached him. A tall, thin disheveled man with thinning brown hair and round glasses. Malik let Ryou go, and stood up. Squeezing the boy's hand. Ryou could only sob, horrible thoughts of Bakura's death going over in his mind. _No no no no no_…

"So…" Malik winced, and held a hand to his head, fighting of a pounding head ache. "How… How is he." Ryou lifted his head as the doctor sighed and looked down, taking off his glasses.

"I'm so sorry."

* * *

-ducksflyingobjects- I'm sorry?

R&R?


	6. Chapter 6

Hi...

I know it's as late as hell, but meh.

Disclaimer: I own nothing... You don't sue...

* * *

_This isn't Bakura_…

That was the only thought that ran through Ryou's head as he sat beside the hospital gurney. His Bakura was energetic and loving and sexy… This Bakura was like a doll. A fragile doll tucked under the sheets. Ryou sat in a molded plastic chair, head in his hands as he cried. _This isn't happening. This can't be... It's a sick dream, that's what it is, it can't be happening, it can't... _

From a distance, it just looked like Bakura was sleeping, but Ryou knew he was a million miles from sleep. He hated to look at the tubes that burrowed under Bakura's skin, connected to plastic bags and blinking, beeping monitors.

"Ryou." Malik sat in a chair beside the teenager. He placed a hand on Ryou's shaking shoulder, and gently started to rub Ryou's back. "It's going to be okay…" Ryou shook his head, sobbing quietly. The Egyptian sighed, and settled back into his chair, feeling sick. _This is my entire fault... Bakura wouldn't be in this mess if I hadn't pushed him out of the way... If he'd gotten hit, then maybe he'd be less injured._

The past hour had been a total hell. The doctor led them into the critical care unit, and started talking with Ryou about the yami. Malik, who had never taken biology, had no idea what the doctor was talking about. Ryou later tearfully explained the whole ugly story, how the corner of the sidewalk cracked the back of Bakura's head and fractured the skull in three places. How he got severe swelling on his brain, and sank into a coma. How the doctors had no clue about the extent of the brain damage until the swelling went down, and didn't even know if he'd wake up…

"Wh-Why?" Ryou's voice was hoarse from crying, his eyes red-rimmed and swollen. Malik swallowed, his chin trembling as he looked down at his shoes.

"I-I wasn't thinking." Malik murmured, fighting back tears. "I just saw the car, and it wasn't stopping, and-"

"N-not that." Ryou swallowed. He rubbed at his eyes, and let out a long, shuddering sigh. "I-It's not your fault, Malik." He lifted his chocolate orbs to the blonde, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. "He could have been killed if he'd gotten hit…"

"Or he could have been fine." Malik sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I-I mean, the car did kinda brake…" Ryou hiccupped.

"W-We'll never know…" The teenager whispered, barely able to string two words together "D-Don't beat yourself up over it, Malik…" The Egyptian sighed, and wrapped an arm around slim rounded shoulders. "I-I just… Why is this happening to me? Wh-Why can't Bakura and I just be together? That's all I want, Malik…" Ryou leaned into the touch, his eyes drifting shut. "It's all I want…"

"It's screwed up." Malik agreed, keeping his lavender orbs downcast. "I mean, just when it seemed that everything was going well for you two, it fucks up. Bakura messed it, then I did… And now he's in a coma…"

"I really thought this was it." Ryou sobbed. "I-I mean, I really thought that we would be okay. Bakura was getting his life sorted out, and-and…" The light broke down into fresh sobs, his slim shoulders heaving. Malik sighed, and tightened his arms around the whitenette, resting his chin on Ryou's head.

"It's going to be all right." Malik murmured. He didn't know which of the pair he was talking to, but both of the boys knew it wasn't true. "I-I mean… What was the chance Bakura was going to wake up?" Ryou sniffed, wiping at his eyes. "I'm sure it was pretty high…"

"It was thirty to forty percent." Ryou whispered brokenly. "H-How is that high, Malik? H-How?" Malik sighed, and rested his forehead on Ryou's head. A few tears seeped into the silky white hair.

"W-Well…" He sighed as he lifted his head, blonde strands of hair falling into his eyes. "At least there's a chance… Right?" Ryou sniffed, and nodded weakly. "Hey, it's going to be fine…" Malik tightened his hold on the teenager. "I'm going to be here for you, don't worry." Ryou swallowed, and nodded. His shaking arms gently fell down from his face, and trailed until he held Malik's arms around his shoulders. Ryou leaned back, resting against the Egyptian's collarbone.

"D-Don't go, Malik." He whispered, closing his eyes. "I-I couldn't stand it if I lost you too…" The blonde sighed, and tightened his hold on Ryou.

"Of course not…" Malik sighed. "I'll never let you go." Ryou relaxed, very slightly, in his arms. "Don't be so silly Ryou, why would I leave you when you need me most?" Despite the somewhat calm exterior he put up for Ryou's sake, Malik was terrified. All he could think about was his best friend in the next bed. Bakura, Ryou, and Malik had always formed their own little triangle against the world, and no one was as close as they were… And now…

Malik swallowed deeply, biting his lip. He shifted slightly in the chair beside Ryou, who backed up a little, almost sitting in Malik's lap. The blonde lowered his arms, until they were linked around Ryou's stomach. The whitenette buried his head in Malik's neck, clinging to the Egyptians shirt as he cried.

"This isn't fair…" Ryou sobbed, his frail form shaking. Malik sighed, and gently started to rock the teen from side to side. "I-It's not f-fair…"

"It's not." Malik agreed, blinking back tears himself.

* * *

"I-I'm not tired…" Ryou sniffed as Malik closed the door to his house. The blonde sighed, one arm looped around Ryou's slim middle, the whitenette leaned into his shoulder. His tears had subsided, and his chocolate orbs held a strange emptiness to them. Malik had to almost drag him back to his home, and now he led the teenager into his room, Ryou as limp and unresponsive as a rag doll.

"There you go." Malik set Ryou down on the bed. He stroked silky strands of white hair for a while, staring down at the teenager. "I-I have to go to the bathroom now… You get into bed and have a good long sleep, and then we're going to sort things out in the morning, okay?" Ryou nodded silently, eyes vacant and glassy. Malik swallowed, and headed into the bathroom.

As he closed the door, Malik slid against the white painted wood onto the tiles. He drew his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on his leather pants. _This isn't fair!_ Malik inwardly screamed, his kneecaps digging into his eye sockets. _I can't look after Ryou! I can't... All I can think about is Bakura lying there on that bed, maybe never waking up. I can't handle that. I love him. I do. And Ryou... _Malik swallowed, tears soaking into the leather material. _How is this happening to me_…_ To us? The Gods really don't like Ryou if they're putting such an innocent sweetheart through this. Is he ever going to get a break?_

_Or maybe..._

_Maybe Bakura and Ryou aren't meant to be together._

Malik sat frozen, chewing on his lower lip. He'd never thought of it like that before. But it made sense… That was why something always went wrong. Maybe this was really it. Maybe they would be permanently broken apart…

_Don't think like that. It isn't like that. Ryou loves Bakura more than the air he breathes. He's never going to let him go. You have to stop thinking like this, because It's never going to happen. Ryou and Bakura were made for each other. It's all perfect... Well, it was. They were really happy before..._

_Before I showed up. That's where things went downhill. Would things be different if I had left? _

_So what if they would be? I can't leave now. Ryou needs me now more than he ever did. I'll stay around until Bakura wakes up, and then I'll leave... Yeah, that's a good idea. I wont stay, it's only hurting Ryou_… Malik sighed, and leaned against the door. He was silent for a long time, before pulling himself into a standing position. He used the toilet, and then gently turned the doorknob. He quietly walked towards the master bedroom, and opened the door.

Ryou was leaning against the headboard, staring at a square of white card. Malik blinked, and looked closer, realizing it was a Polaroid photograph, and Ryou had several in a stack, and scattered around him. Malik walked towards the whitenette, and took a seat on the bed. Ryou continued to stare down at the cars, his entire frame visibly trembling. Malik opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and shut it again.

"Th-These were taken a couple of days after you came here." Ryou whispered in that terrible, heartbroken voice. "B-Bakura took them. He… He said he'd rather look at me that a magazine…" Malik frowned. "I-I…" Ryou tried to talk, but before he could get a word out, he broke into fresh tears, and buried his face in his hands. Malik sighed, and crawled across the bed, taking the teenager in his arms. Ryou buried his face in Malik's shoulder, sobbing weakly.

"It's okay, Ryou." Malik whispered in his silky hair, his left arm wrapped around Ryou's slim waist. He gathered up the photographs with his other hands, his eyes widening. _WOW_. How did Bakura get Ryou to take these? Malik sighed, and placed the stack of photographs on the bedside table. Gently, he slid back the sheets, and tucked Ryou up in the blankets. He stayed beside the teenager for a long time, stroking long tresses of silver-white hair until he was sure Ryou had lulled himself into a deep sleep with his tears. Malik sighed, exhausted. He stood up, yawning and stretching. He made to leave the room, when a soft whimper caught his ear. The Egyptian spun around on his heel, blinking at Ryou, who was sitting up, his eyes wide and entire form quaking.

"D-Don't leave." He whispered, his chin trembling. He blinked away tears, and swallowed deeply. "P-Please…" Ryou shuffled slightly to one side of the bed. "I-I c-can't be alone now." Malik opened his mouth, and froze.

"Yeah." Slowly, Malik walked back over to the bed. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and started removing his pants. (Leather was, after all, _impossible_ to sleep in, Malik reasoned to himself, and it wouldn't seem too forward, would it?) Ryou sighed softly, as Malik lay down in the bed, pulling the blankets up over himself. Almost immediately, the whitenette snuggled into his side, burying his head in Malik's shoulder. He was still shaking, and the Egyptian felt nothing but compassion for his white-haired friend as he wrapped his arms around Ryou's middle.

"We'll go back tomorrow." Malik promised as he gently rubbed Ryou's back. "We'd still be there now, but visiting hours were over…" The whitenette sighed. "It's going to be okay, Ryou. I'll look after you for as long as I need to. I'm not going to leave you alone when you're like this, don't worry." Ryou's breathing was slowing, gradually becoming deeper and more even. He was going to sleep…

Mmmm. Malik closed his eyes. This felt really nice, snuggled up with Ryou like this. It was something he could really get used to…_ I will, if Bakura stays in a coma_…

_Don't think like that, you idiot. Ryou loves Bakura. He would never betray him like that. Don't fantasize about what can never happen._ Malik sighed, and shook his head. He needed to sleep.

Despite his exhaustion, it was over an hour before Malik fell into a deep slumber.

* * *

Malik sighed under his breath as he knocked on the door to the Kame game shop. He'd left Ryou crying at Bakura's bedside with mumbled promises of 'being right back', intent on talking to Yugi about the current situation. He knew Ryou was in no fit state to go to school, and had no idea about how to solve the problem.

"Hello?" The Egyptian called as he knocked on the glass door. He could hear the sound of the television going inside, and bit his lip. A few moments later, the class door open, and crimson eyes stared at him.

"Oh!" Sugoroku blinked at the Egyptian in the doorway. "Malik! Come in!" Malik nodded quickly, and almost ran into the living room. _I can't stay away from Ryou for too long_… Yugi looked up as the blonde entered the room, and Malik winced. _The whole gang is here_…_ Oh crap_…

"M-Malik?" Yugi blinked. Yami frowned, sitting beside the short teenager on the couch. Jounouchi, Honda, and Anzu were all lounging around on the couch, staring at the television. All five jumped slightly, staring at the Egyptian, partly with fear, partly with suspicion. _It's been so long and they still don't trust me_… "How are you?"

"Not good." Malik sighed. "Can… Can I sit down?" The blonde looked down at an empty arm chair. Yugi nodded, and Malik took a seat, wringing his hands.

"Malik… What's wrong?" Yugi asked in his naturally soft voice. Malik let out a long breath, keeping his arms down cast.

"Malik?" He winced at the much deeper tone of Yami, and raised his eyes up to meet the spirit. "Why are you here?" Malik chewed on his lower lip.

"It's… It's Ba- The Spirit of the ring." Malik sighed. Yami narrowed his eyes.

"What has he done now?" He asked in an exasperated tone. Yugi bit his lip in worry.

"Where's Bakura?" He inquired softly, tilting his head to one side, confused. Malik visibly winced.

"He's in the hospital." The sandy-haired teen sighed. "But-"

"What did that no-good tomb robber _do?_" Yami growled angrily. "If he's hurt Bakura-"

"He hasn't!" Malik said quickly. "Ryou's fine! Well, not fine, but-"

"What happened?" Jou spoke up. "Just tell us what's wrong." Malik sighed, and swallowed deeply, lowering his gaze to his hands.

"There was an accident." The Egyptian muttered, wanting to get this over with. "Ryou's fine, but… The spirit… He's not." Yami frowned, and Yugi's eyes widened further (Was that possible?)

"What do you mean?" Jou inquired, and Malik was greatly surprised to hear a quaver of concern in his voice. "What happened?" He repeated. Malik licked his lips, and swallowed.

"Well… He's in a coma." Malik sighed, still playing with his fingers. "Two days ago… There was an accident." The varying shocked reactions from the four teenagers and ancient spirit across from him was surprising.

"You're…" Yugi swallowed deeply. "You're kidding, right?" His voice sounded soft, and far away. Malik shook his head, and Yami placed a hand on Yugi's shoulder.

"But… He'll be fine, right?" Jou asked. "I mean, look what happened those months ago. We thought he was a goner, but he pulled through… He'll do that now wont he?" The Egyptian blonde blinked. _Wait_…

"You guys… You care?" Malik cocked his head to one side. "Really? I thought you wanted him dead…"

"He changed, didn't he?" Yugi's voice sounded strangely thick. "I mean, with him and Bakura getting married… Something must have changed… And no one deserves to go into a coma like that." Yami only narrowed his eyes, but Malik could see how shaken up he was.

"Yeah…" Malik was silent for a little while. "But… I also came over to talk about school for Ryou… I mean, I don't know what we do in this situation, but Ryou can't go, not the way he's feeling now… Can he?" Yugi shook his head, lowering maroon eyes.

"No… I think he can get a grievance leave for a few weeks… But I don't think that's long enough. He must be in pieces." Malik sighed, and nodded.

"He is." The blonde agreed, looking down at his caramel hands. "I've never seen him this upset… I don't know what I'm going to do." Yugi bit his lip, and looked at Malik with concern in his eyes.

"Can… Can I go and see Bakura?" Yugi asked softly, blinking.

"I wanna go too." Jou nodded from his armchair, looking shaken.

"And me." Honda added.

"Bakura needs his friends." Anzu affirmed. "We need to be there for him." Malik smiled widely.

"Thanks you guys." He said. "You really are the greatest." Yami stood up silently, and without a word, turned and left the room. Malik frowned slightly.

"Ignore him." Yugi sighed, running a hand through his hair. "He hates the spirit, and doesn't know how to feel." The short teenager stood up. "We… We should really get going. When do visiting hours close?"

"In about an hour." Malik checked his watch. "You're right, we should get going."

"I drove over here." Anzu offered. "I'm sure you'll all fit in the car." Malik smiled.

"Thanks so much, Anzu." The brunette only smiled, scratching the back of his head.

"That's okay, Malik. What are friends for?" Anzu stood up, and grabbed her purse. "Come on, you guys, the sooner we get there, the sooner we can see Bakura." Malik nodded, and the other four teenagers stood up.

The drive to the hospital was short, and apart from the time when Anzu nearly hit an incoming car, causing Jou and Honda to try and take the wheel off of her, it was silent. Malik led the way up into the reception, with the four teenagers (Still in uniform) hovering behind.

"Bakura and the Spirit are on the third floor, in the critical care unit." Malik explained as the five entered the elevator. "I think visiting times are really limited though… Ry- Bakura's allowed in for as long as he wants, but that's it. They kicked me out after half an hour." He pressed the button for the third floor, and leaned against the wall.

"Poor Bakura." Yugi murmured. "Especially after everything that's happened. Is he ever going to get a break?"

"I'll say." Jounouchi agreed. "I remember when I used to walk home with him. He's gone through nothing but shit for years…" Malik frowned._ They're more concerned about Ryou's feelings than Bakura. Heh. But then again, Bakura did try to kill them on several occasions_…

"We're there." Honda grimaced as the tiny elevator let off a _ding_, and the doors slid open. The five all shuffled out, staring at the long white hallway.

"What number is Bakura in?" Anzu asked, blinking. Malik sighed, and pointed.

"Room 21." He sighed, walking down the hallway. Anzu, Jounouchi, Honda, and Yugi all walked behind Malik, and grouped beside the door. "If we're really quiet, then the nurses won't notice we're all here."

Ryou was sitting beside the bed, his head in his hands when Malik, Yugi, Jounouchi, Honda, and Anzu entered the room. He froze at the footsteps, lifted his snowy head. His red-rimmed eyes widened, and a smile spread across his face despite himself.

"Guys…" He breathed in his soft, accented voice. "What… What are you all doing here?"

"We're here to see you." Yugi said simply. "Malik came over to sort out some school leave, and he told us what happened. It's horrible… We're all really sorry this happened." Ryou swallowed, wiping at his eyes. He smiled again weakly, and sniffed.

"You're… You're all so nice to me." Ryou sniffed. "I-I thought you all didn't care…" Malik bit his lip, and blinked slightly. It was what both of them thought, but Ryou had never come out and said it before.

"We… We don't not care about you." Yugi said kindly. "We do, Bakura. You're our friend, it's just… Sometimes… I mean, we all have so much going on, and…" He trailed off, scratching the back of his head. Well, what was he supposed to say? "Sorry, Bakura, we forgot about you. You blend in so well with the wallpaper, we didn't remember you exist?" Not exactly.

"Well… How is he doing?" Anzu asked, taking a seat next to the white-haired teen. Jounouchi sighed to himself under his breath, and around the white bed, staring down at Bakura. He looked so… innocent. The blonde sighed, and rubbed a hand over his eyes.

"This is fucked up." He murmured, raising his coffee-coloured eyes to the ceiling. "I still don't get how this happened. I mean…" Jounouchi sighed and trailed off. "A coma? What are the chances of him waking up?"

"It's _hopeless_…" Ryou's face was back in his hands, and slim rounded shoulders were trembling. Malik sighed, and perched on the edge if the bed.

"It's thirty to forty percent." The Egyptian murmured, staring down at his hands. "Roughly." Jou frowned, biting his lip, and Anzu placed a hand on Ryou's shoulder.

"But… That's good, Bakura!" She tried to encourage the teenager. "I-I mean, there's still a big chance he's going to wake up and be fine…"

"But that's the thing!" Ryou lifted his head from his hands. "W-We don't know! There's still that huge chance he'll never wake up, and if he does, H-He could have brain damage, or something. He could forget me completely, he could lose his sight, o-or he c-could even be paralyzed, or-"

"Ryou, _stop."_ Malik stood up, and crouched down in front of the teenager. "Look, he's going to be fine, I mean there's still a chance that Bakura's going to wake up and be fine-"

"And there's a much bigger chance he wont!" Ryou wiped at his eyes. "I-I can't handle that, I-I can't…" He swallowed, and Malik straightened himself, sighing deeply. Jou was silent, staring at Bakura and the several machines he was hooked up to, Honda was hovering uncomfortably by the door, and Yugi was standing beside Anzu. Malik opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again as soon as the door swung open.

"Okay, Ryou, I- What on earth is going on here?" The nurse frowned. "There is a notice on his door restricting visitors. Ryou's barely allowed in as it is!" All six of the teenagers visible winced. "Okay, out."

"Even Ryou?" Malik frowned. "That's really not fair-"

"This young man needs some rest!"

"How? He's in a frigging coma, he can't do anything _but_ rest-"

"Bakura is not allowed visitors, he's having a neurological scan in less than an hour!"

"That doesn't mean-"

"Why?" Malik and the nurse stopped arguing, and turned to the teenager. Although his voice was soft, he instantly held the attention of everyone in the room. Malik fell silent, staring at Ryou's eyes, and the way they dared to light up with a spark of hope.

"We're checking the swelling on his brain." The nurse drifted her eyes down to her clipboard for a moment. "If it's gone down, then we might have an idea of the extent of the brain damage. If there is any." She added in a hurry, catching the way Ryou's face fell at the last sentence.

"And…" Ryou looked thoughtful as he stood up. "C-Can you maybe fix what's wrong with him?" The nurse only shrugged.

"We don't know anything." She stood aside, and opened the door. "Now all of you need to leave. This man needs rest and preparation." Malik sighed.

"Come on then, guys." Yugi said, trying to be encouraging. "I-I mean, it's a good thing, really isn't it?" Ryou was quiet, hanging his head. He cast a look over towards his fiancée in the bed, and bit his lip, blinking back tears.

"Whatever." Ryou breathed. He pushed past Malik, Anzu, and the nurse, running out of the room. Malik swore under his breath, and Jou quickly followed the whitenette, sighing.

"Bakura?" Jou ran into the hallway, but couldn't find his younger friend anywhere. He frowned. _He can't have gone far... Maybe he's in one of these rooms_. The blonde bit his lip, starting to walk down the corridor. _But they all have patients in them... Hey, a janitors closet!_ Jounouchi pressed his ear against the door, frowning slightly. He _thought_ he could hear someone crying softly inside. The blonde was still chewing on his lower lip as he turned the doorknob, pushing the door open.

"Bakura?" Jounouchi tentatively called out as he peered into the dark gloom of the janitors' closet. The soft sobs from a shadowed corner ceased almost abruptly. Jounouchi frowned again. "Bakura?" The teenager tried again, staring into the corner. He closed the door behind him, completely encasing both of the males in darkness. "I know you're in here." He said softly, taking a step in the direction where he heard the crying. Jounouchi, being the clumsy idiot he was, almost as clumsy and uncoordinated as the white-haired figure in the corner of the room, stood in an empty water bucket, tripped over a mob, and hit the ground like a ton of bricks. Ryou gasped, and winced as Jounouchi collapsed almost on top of him.

"J-Jounouchi?" The whitenette trembled as he peered in the darkness, searching for his friend. "A-Are you okay?" Jounouchi only groaned, and sat up, rubbing at his sore spots.

"Sure." He muttered, scooting on his rear towards Ryou, who was curled in the corner of the closet with his knees against his chest. "Question is, are you?" Jounouchi leaned against the wall, staring at Ryou, whose hair looked like a pale ghost in the darkness. He heard Ryou hiccup, and saw the strands of while shift as he shook his head. "Oh, Bakura…" He sighed. "Look bud, I'm really sorry this happened. We all are. But… Ya can't keeping being down on yourself. It's like you've already resigned yourself to him dying. That's not the Bakura I knew. You always used to be so strong. That spirit… Even when he put you through hell, you wore a smile. Why can't we all have that strong Bakura back?"

"So I'm weak then." Ryou's voice was soft, and strangely hollow-sounding. "Is that what you're saying?" Jounouchi sighed, and shook his head.

"No." He whispered. "That's not what I'm saying at all. I just hate how you're so upset. He's not dead yet, Bakura."

"Yet." Ryou whispered, tears trickling down his cheeks. "So he's going to die then."

"No!" Jounouchi sighed. "No, he's not. He's going to be fine-"

"There's a sixty percent change he's not going to wake up, and an eighty percent chance of permanent brain damage, Jounouchi." Ryou lifted his face to stare at Jounouchi through the darkness. "You do the math."

"You're twisting my words around." Jounouchi sighed in exasperation. "Look. I'm no good at numbers, but I do know one thing, Bakura. That spirit is a fighter. Yami keeps defeating him, and he keeps coming back. I've never met someone who's so hard to kill. Do you really think something like this is going to be his end, after everything he's done? After all of the trouble he got himself into, and out of? Is this really the way he's going to go?" Ryou swallowed deeply, and sniffed.

"W-Well… H-He does get himself out of some sticky situations…" The whitenette relented. "But-"

"I think he'd be ashamed of you." Jounouchi sighed. "It's like you have no faith in him. You know him better than anyone. Would he really let himself turn into a vegetable and die, Bakura?" The blonde gently started to rub Ryou's back, staring at his thin frame. Jounouchi's eyes were slowly starting to adapt to the darkness, and he could make out Ryou's hazy outline.

"N-No…" Ryou swallowed, and his voice actually sounded stronger, more confident and sure. "H-He wouldn't… But…"

"No buts." Jounouchi said firmly. "Stop being silly, Bakura. He's going to be fine. Really." Ryou sighed, a long shaky breath, and blinked. "Now come on." Shakily, Jounouchi got to his feet, keeping his eyes on the floor. He wasn't going to trip over anything this time. He reached out a hand to Ryou, forcing a smile on his face. "Let's get out of here." Ryou was silent and still for a moment, before grasping Jounouchi's hand firmly, and standing up.

"I-I guess you're right." Ryou followed Jounouchi, picking his way through the fallen mops and brooms. "I-I am being a bit silly…" Despite his situation, Ryou couldn't help but feel a small spark of hope light in his chest. Jounouchi was right. Like Bakura would ever let something like a coma stop him from getting what he wanted. Both of the teenage boys' gasped as Jounouchi opened the door, the bright light hitting their eyes sharply.

Jounouchi sighed as he looked at Ryou. He really looked a mess. His long white hair resembled a tangle birds nest, his eyes were red and swollen from crying, and Jounouchi didn't like the way his clothes hung off him. _That's not right_…_ Has he stopped eating again? Why?_

Sure, Ryou definitely creeped Jounouchi out. People who didn't know him only saw the clumsy, angelic little sweetheart with a large smile and a larger heart. And yes, that did account for about ninety-five percent of his personality. But there was something about the way Ryou's eyes flashed when he was angry, his abnormal interest in witchcraft and the occult, and not to mention his interest in males… That was the main reason why Jounouchi never talked to him recently. True to his word, he never told anyone that Ryou was gay, but he had the sneaking suspicion that Yugi knew… (They all knew his relationship with Yami stretched beyond being brotherly or friendly) But still, Ryou was his friend. He was someone he used to talk to when they walked home together, who helped him with his homework, and saved him a place in the lunch line.

"Th-Thank you, Jounouchi." Ryou breathed, looking up into the blonde's coffee-coloured eyes. "Y-You made me realize what I should have noticed the whole time… Ba- The spirit of the ring is a fighter. I-I know him better than anyone in the world, and…" Ryou swallowed deeply, wiping the last remnants of tears from his face. "He wouldn't go out like this. He… He wouldn't leave me behind…" Ryou wiped at his eyes, making sure there was no more of the water on his face. "W-Would he?"

"Of course not." Jounouchi tried to reassure the whitenette. In reality, however, he felt sick._ The spirit's fucked_…_ And if he dies, Ryou's going to be, too. Bloody hell_...

* * *

R&R?


	7. Chapter 7

EEEP! What a late update. I'm so so sorry... -cries- I am so late, I know... I'll be faster, I swears!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

"It's hopeless…" 

Malik's voice was small and lost as he curled up on the moulded plastic chairs. The small waiting bay was quiet and empty, save for Malik, Honda, Yugi, and Anzu. Jounouchi had been gone for about ten minutes, presumably to look for Ryou.

"No, it's not." Anzu tried her very hardest to be comforting, but it was hard, even for her. "Like the doctor said, thirty percent is pretty high… And you sounded really reassuring around Bakura-"

"That's because I _have_ to!" Malik lifted his head, feeling tears push at the back of his eyes. "It's _Ryou_… He doesn't have anyone else, Anzu. Of course I'm going to lie to him to try and make him feel better."

"I wasn't lying." Anzu murmured, lowering her eyes. Malik only sighed, leaning against the chair. He stared at the ceiling, nibbling on his lower lip.

"Ba- The spirit's fucked." Malik leaned forward, placing his feet on the floor. "It's a freaking _coma_. I want to believe that he's going to wake up and be fine, and everything will be okay…" He swallowed. "But I know it's not…"

"What's not?" Malik froze, and lifted his head at the sound of Ryou's voice. He sighed, his shoulders slumping as he stared at Ryou. _He's a total mess_… "Malik? What's not?"

"…Nothing." Malik stood up, walking over to the teenager. He gently took Ryou's hand. "We should get going. Visiting hours are almost over, and you look terrible."

"Thanks." Ryou muttered, looking down at his shoes. "It's nice to know I look awful…" Malik sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't mean it like that." He said softly, squeezing Ryou's hand gently. "You need to have a shower and a sleep." The whitenette lowered his eyes. "Okay?"

"But…" Ryou's eyes were wide. "When do we find out about Bakura's scan? I'm really worried…"

"I'll talk to a nurse." Malik sighed, squeezing Ryou's hand again. "Okay? They can call us as soon as they find out." Ryou nodded dumbly, staring at the floor. "Okay…" Malik turned to face the other four. "Guys? We're going to go back home now, if that's okay." Yugi nodded.

"Yeah… We should get going, too." All four of them stood up, staring at their shoes. "We're all really sorry, Ryou."

"Yeah." Malik sighed. "We'll… See you soon, sometime?" Yugi smiled weakly.

"Yeah." He murmured. "See ya." Malik started to walk down the hallway, still holding Ryou's hand. The whitenette trailed off behind him, clinging tightly to his wrist.

* * *

The teenager, after soaking in the bath for a long time, had sprawled out across the bed in utter exhaustion. Malik had tucked him underneath the sheets, and sat silently for over an hour next to Ryou, stroking his hair, and feeling sick with himself. 

Because part of him was _happy_.

Malik felt like throwing up at the thought. Bakura, his best friend, was lying helplessly in that hospital room, and here Malik was, happy about it! And why? Because he was with Ryou. He felt like he was being so manipulative about it all… Once again, Ryou didn't realize how Malik was acting around him, even though he knew about his love for him._ I'm such a terrible person. _Malik pressed his lips together, but he didn't stop gently stroking Ryou's hair. _But... Ryou needs someone to look after him at this time, he can't be alone. And I'm doing my best to make sure my feelings don't get in the way. _Malik swallowed deeply, staring down at Ryou's angelic face. _But I can't help the way I feel about him. I just want to lean down and kiss him, and..._

_What am I saying?_

_Ryou's heartbroken about losing Bakura this way. He's not going to want to enter another relationship, especially with me. It couldn't work out, not with all of the history we have. I mean sure, Ryou once had a crush on me, but that was ages ago_…

_No way. Ryou loves Bakura way too much to even think about something like that. And I'm a backstabbing bastard for thinking about it myself. I can't do that to Ryou. I couldn't put him through that emotional turmoil... Not again. Bakura told me how emotionally fragile he was after we fell out. I can't screw things up with Ryou_.

Malik sighed, still looking down at the teenager. He looked so fragile and innocent when he slept, it made the Egyptian almost want to cry. How can so much happen to one person? It just didn't seem fair in Malik's eyes. Slowly, he leaned down, and placed a gently kiss on Ryou's forehead. _No matter what ever happens, Ryou, I'm going to be here for you. Always_.

Malik jumped as the phone rang on the bedside table. He held a hand over his thudding chest for a moment, and looked down at Ryou. He felt like he'd just been caught doing something bad… But he wasn't, was he? It was just an affectionate gesture from a friend. It wasn't as though he kissed Ryou on the lips…

The Egyptian grabbed the receiver, and lifted it to his ear. He'd caught sight of Ryou as he leaned over him, and his eyes were gently fluttering open. _CRAP. I hope he doesn't know I kissed him_…

"H-Hello?" Malik's hand was shaking as he answered the phone, knowing full well who it would be on the other hand.

"Hello. Is this Malik Ishtar?" The Egyptians heart sank at the cool female voice on the other end. She certainly didn't sound happy… That wasn't a good sign.

"Speaking." Ryou's eyes widened slightly, and he rolled over, staring at Malik. His heart was pounding in his chest in anticipation, and he licked his lips. Malik sighed absentmindedly, and placed a hand on Ryou's forehead. The teenager leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. "No, sorry, he's asleep… I really don't want to wake him, he's exhausted… Yeah… Um… Sort of…" Ryou sighed as Malik started brushing his hair from his face. "Yes… Yes…" The whitenette gasped as Malik froze, tightening his hands in his hair and pulling at the strands. "_No._" Ryou's eyes widened, and he whimpered. "Um… Y-Yeah. I-I can tell him… Th-thank you… Okay… Bye." Malik pressed the 'off' button on the phone, and dropped it to the bed. The Egyptian stared at the pattern on the navy duvet for a long time, not speaking.

"M-Malik?" Ryou finally managed to gasp, wincing as his scalp was yanked whenever he moved. "Malik… What's wrong." Malik blinked, snapping out of his daze.

"Oh…" He muttered, releasing his hold on Ryou's hair. The whitenette rubbed at his aching scalp, and then he gently start to pull himself into more of a sitting position. "Ryou…" Malik swallowed, and then looked over at Ryou. His lavender eyes were full of nothing but pain and heartbreak. "I'm sorry…"

"Wh-Why?" Ryou felt eyes glisten in the back of his eyes. "Malik… What's wrong?" Malik gently wrapped his arms around Ryou's shoulders, and the boy leaned into his chest. "M-Malik?" Ryou lifted his eyes up to look at the Egyptian. "What happened?"

"Th-They got the results for his Neurological scan…" Malik breathed softly. "And the swelling on his brain has gone down a lot." Ryou brightened slightly.

"Well… That's good, isn't it?" Ryou dared to let a smile flit across his features. "I-I mean, then they know what's wrong…" The smile on his face died. "Oh… Malik?"

"It was a lot of scientific jargon…" Malik sighed, chewing on his lower lip. "But… Basically, Ryou… Bakura's really badly brain damaged… The doctors… They said his chance of waking up dropped to fifteen percent… I'm so sorry." Ryou shook his head, and started to cry. "I'm so so sorry…" Ryou leaned into the embrace, sobbing softly.

"Th-This isn't fair…" Ryou wailed, burying his head in Malik's shoulder. "B-Bakura… He never did anything to deserve this…" The Egyptian only snorted. "W-Well… I-I…"

"That's what they think." Malik said gently, slowly rubbing circles in Ryou's back. "We know better." He lifted Ryou's chin to stare at him in the eye. "Don't we?" Ryou was silent for a long time, before he sniffed, and nodded. "It's going to be okay…" Malik gently placed Ryou back underneath the covers. He followed suit, gently wrapping his arms around the whitenette's waist. "Okay?"

"…Okay." Ryou finally mumbled. He buried his head in Malik's shoulder, and continued to cry. The Egyptian sighed deeply in sympathy, and tightened his embrace on the male he was in love with.

* * *

_Weeks passed._

_Gradually, with the consolation of Malik, Ryou was able to look past his own shock and grief. His cycle consisted of only visiting Bakura, and spending hours and hours curled up in bed. Sometime, he slept, sometimes he didn't. Ryou barely ate. It took a week since Bakura's accident before Malik managed to get him in the shower to bathe, and two before he managed to get the teenager eating three meals a day. The bond between Ryou and Malik grew stronger than ever. Every day, Malik continued to shower Ryou with the love and affection he needed. Ryou's affection in return grew, and as time passed, slowly, the feelings that Malik expressed to him were starting to slowly be returned. Ryou never realized it, but he was slowly starting to fall in love with Malik. He started to enjoy Malik's gentle hugs and touches more and more. He was completely amazed that someone would give up their family, their house, their whole life just to be with him and make sure he was okay. It made him feel wanted when his world seemed to be in disarray. _

_Malik was piecing his world back together_.

* * *

"Ryou?" Malik called out as he shut the door behind him, his other hand carrying a bagful of groceries. "Ryou, you home?" 

"In the bath." Ryou called out from the bathroom, his voice echoing around the small tiled chamber. "Did you bring some dinner?"

"Yeah." Malik set the groceries on the table before heading into the bathroom. He opened the door, blinking slightly at the misty steam that filled the room. "How long have you been in there?" Ryou shrugged, and properly sat up, not bothering to hide his nudity (It was nothing Malik hadn't seen before, drunk or sober).

"What's the time?" Ryou ran a hand through his hair, which was greasy from the conditioner he had applied. Malik's nose wrinkled slightly at the aroma, and he hid a smile. He loved the smell of Ryou's wildflower conditioner, but he'd never admit it.

"It's almost five." Malik cast a quick glance down to the watch in his hand. Ryou blinked, and chewed on his lip.

"Well… I got in here as soon as I got home from school, so that's…" He winced. "Close to two hours." The whitenette looked down at his hands. "Ew. My fingers have gone all pruney…" Malik chuckled. "You shush!"

"Okay then." Malik held his hands up in defeat. "I'm going to start dinner now. Did you wanna help me when you get out?" Ryou nodded, combing his hair with his fingers.

"If I want to be able to eat it tonight, then I'd better." Ryou teased, smiling. Malik only made a face.

"Yeah, okay then." Malik grinned. "See you in a few." Ryou smiled as the Egyptian closed the door behind him, and then leaned against the ceramic lip of the bath with a long sigh. He felt so _confused_… Ryou honestly didn't know what to do. He loved Bakura with all of his heart -nothing could ever change that- But he felt so guilty about the intimate moments he shared with Malik. He kept trying to tell himself he was only being friendly, and that he didn't have any attraction towards the blonde. Ryou closed his eyes, chewing on his lower lip. After a moment, he dunked his hair under the water, running his fingers through the ends to rinse the conditioner from his hair. He gasped for air as he emerged a minute later, blinking the water from his eyes.

Ryou sighed, and arched his back slightly as he sat up. He drew his legs to his chest, resting his chin on his knees. Being with Malik made him happy. He was able to forget about Bakura, for sometimes even a couple of hours. It wasn't cheating if Ryou did nothing about his feelings, was it? And anyway, Ryou loved Bakura much much more than he loved Malik…

Eventually, Ryou stood up. Water ran down his skinny frame in tiny rivulets, trickling into the bath. The teenager sighed, squeezing the excess water from his hair. He stepped over the side of the bath, and grabbed the plug from the sinkhole. The water gurgled and sloshed down the drain as Ryou reached for a towel, wrapping it around his hair. Ryou grabbed another towel to dry himself off, before donning his bathrobe and leaving the bathroom.

Malik looked up and smiled as Ryou walked into the kitchen. The whitenette grinned back, but it was weak and half-hearted as he tightened the cord, long damp hair straggling into his eyes. The Egyptian set down the wooden spoon, and wordlessly opened his arms. Ryou flung himself into the offered embrace, instantly burying his head in his shoulder. Malik rested his chin on Ryou's fluffy white head, staring blankly into space.

"I miss him." Ryou whispered, sniffing softly. Malik sighed, his arms wrapped around Ryou's chest and middle. "I-I really really miss him…"

"I know you do." Malik closed his eyes as Ryou wrapped his arms around his neck. The cold metal of Ryou's engagement band pressed against his skin. The Egyptian swallowed deeply.

Ryou had refused to take off the ring, not even to bathe. Malik knew it was because part of Ryou had a stupid hope that Bakura would miraculously wake up in time for the wedding, but he didn't like it. It was though Ryou was constantly reminding Malik that he was untouchable. Malik always got what he wanted, and his burning desire was to take the white-haired angel, to fully make him his one more. Malik let his hands slide down Ryou's waist and hips, drifting down the curve of his lower back, and the top of his rear. Ryou sniffed, his head buried in Malik's neck as the Egyptian dared to slide his hands even lower, until both of his hands cupped Ryou's rear, he gently, slightly squeezed the whitenette's cheeks, so softly that Ryou didn't even notice.

"Here." Malik finally broke away from Ryou. "Sit down." He gently guided Ryou to one of the chairs, and the whitenette sat down, looking down at his clenched hands. "I have to keep stirring this pasta…" Ryou continued to look down, chewing on his lower lip. He eventually raised his eyes up to Malik, and licked his lips.

"You might want to lower the element temperature." Ryou murmured softly, his eyes looking distant and vacant. Malik nodded softly, brushing a lock of hair out of his eyes. "You'll burn it otherwise."

"Thanks." Malik muttered, looking down at the pasta. "You're a really good cook, Ryou." The whitenette smiled weakly, before lowering his eyes again. "You okay Ryou?" Malik looked away from his precious pasta. "Something looks like it's really eating you up, and it's not Bakura." Malik set the wooden spoon down on the counter. "Is school okay?" Malik walked over to the whitenette, who sniffed, and shook his head.

"Yugi and the rest have stopped talking to me already." Ryou murmured softly. Malik sighed, gently rubbing Ryou's back. "At lunch, I sit next to Jou, but no one ever talks to me." Ryou sniffed, and raised his head. Malik sighted in sympathy, staring at Ryou's red rimmed eyes. "I-Is there something wrong with me, Malik? Is that why they don't like me?" Malik shook his head, crouching down on front of Ryou.

"Ryou." He said seriously, taking the whitenette's hands. "Why do you care about what they think?" Ryou sniffed.

"Th-They're my friends…" He whispered softly, unsure of himself. "I-I mean, they do try to include me, Malik. But… I… I just get… Forgotten…" Ryou wiped at his eyes. "It's okay Malik." He feigned a smile. "Really, it's fine." The Egyptian narrowed his eyes. He didn't buy it for a second.

"Ryou, I don't think-"

"Malik!" Ryou gasped, shifting his gaze from the Egyptian to the stove. "Malik, the pasta!"

* * *

Ryou sighed to himself as he shoved another spoonful of salad into his mouth. He'd started opting for the 'vegetarian' lunch the school was required to provide, and not only did it taste better, but Ryou was sure it was helping him achieve that weight goal of one hundred and ten pounds. Jounouchi sat beside him, like he always did, eating his food loudly and often stealing from the plates of the teenagers he sat between. (Ryou and Honda) However, even Jounouchi didn't want to eat Ryou's vegetarian meals. 

"Anzu!" Ryou jumped slightly at Yugi's voice, and blinked. He looked up to see the brunette, who was proudly walking towards the table, her hands laden down with… "Is that a cake?"

"Yup!" Anzu set the cake down on the table with a large smile. "Can you believe it? It's a reward for me getting the highest results in that Chemistry test. I thought, 'what better way to enjoy than sharing it with my friends?', So I got it cut into equal pieces especially." Ryou winced, thinking of all the sugar and fat that piece of cake would contain. He wracked his mind for excuses to deny the piece of rich-looking chocolate cake. "Here Jou… And Honda, a piece for you… And Yugi, of course, and a piece for me!" Ryou blinked, feeling hurt. _So what? I didn't get a piece of cake. What am I? Five? I never wanted a piece anyway._ Still, the rejection hurt. That was why Ryou let his heart lift a little when Yugi spoke.

"Um, Anzu, I can't eat this, remember?" Yugi knitted his eyebrows together. "Unless it's sugar free, which I very highly doubt." Anzu smacked a hand to her forehead.

"Oh, right!" She sighed. "Yugi… I'm so sorry I forgot!" Yugi only shrugged, and waved it away. "Well… I'll have to give it to someone else then." Ryou blinked, setting down his fork. "Jounouchi, you wanna split it with Honda?"

"Do I?" Jounouchi had already demolished his own slice, and quickly started to attack the fourth quarter. Honda helped him eagerly; and Ryou sat silently at the table, his head bowed. His eyes burned with tears, and he failed to push them down. He placed his elbows on the table, and his forehead in his palms. The babble and laughter of the other four washed over Ryou, who sat silently, crying.

He wasn't angry at Anzu for forgetting about him. He was angry at himself for thinking she noticed his existence.

* * *

Ryou slammed the door behind him. 

Malik, who was reading a book on the couch, jumped. The book tumbled to the floor, and he winced. The Egyptian stood up, and walked into the dining room, where he found Ryou on his knees, staring at the floor.

"Ryou!" Malik gasped, sinking to the tiles beside his friend. Ryou was shaking like a leaf, his hands over his face. "Ryou, what's wrong?" He placed a hand on Ryou's shoulder, but the whitenette made no motion that suggested he recognized Malik's touch. "Did you go to the hospital or something?" Ryou shook his head, still trembling. Malik frowned. "Then what-"

"Screw them." Ryou muttered savagely, his hands clenched into fists so hard, his nails drew blood. Malik blinked, resting back on the balls of his feet.

"Ryou, what's-"

"H-How could they _do_ that, Malik?" Ryou raised his head, and Malik saw that his orbs were sparkling with tears. "I-I mean, I-I was right there, and they… They…" Ryou wrenched himself away from Malik's hand and shakily got to his feet. "H-How could they miss me? I…"

"Ryou." Malik stood up, firmly grasping the lights' slim shoulders. He turned Ryou so that the pair were forced to look at each other. "What the hell is going on?" He asked, sighing deeply. "Is this about Yugi and the others?" Ryou's chin trembled, and he buried his head in Maliks shoulder, sobbing. "Yes?" Ryou nodded, shaking harder than ever. "Oh, Ryou…" Malik sighed, gently embracing the teenager. "I'm so sorry…"

"I-I just want to know what I did wrong…" Ryou moaned, his voice muffled by Malik's shirt. "Wh-Why don't they like me…" Malik sighed, starting to stroke long white hair.

"You don't do anything wrong." Malik murmured softly. "Ryou, you have to realize something. They spend their weekends having sleepovers and hanging out at the arcade. You like to read books and do puzzles by yourself on a Friday night. They share everything about each other, and you like to keep your secrets hidden." He lifted Ryou's chin, looking him in the eye. "You're personality is nothing like theirs. It's a conflict. And personally…" Malik sighed, tightening his hold on Ryou. "I'm glad you are the way you are."

Despite his misery, Ryou smiled.

* * *

Ryou sighed deeply to himself as he closed the white door behind him. He stared down at his sneakers, which were grubby compared to the pure white tiles of the hospital floor. His sneakers thudded slightly as he crossed the room, walking over to Bakura's bedside. 

"Hey, 'Kura." Ryou whispered, sitting down on the seat beside the gurney. There was no noise, apart from the steady beep of the heart monitors. Ryou's hands shook as he started stroking Bakura's long hair, smoothing out the wild tangles. Bakura was as silent as ever, still and unmoving. Originally, Ryou felt like a bit of an idiot, babbling away to someone in a deep coma, but the nurses told Ryou that quite a large proportion of people in a coma can hear people talking to them.

"It's been so quiet without you." Ryou murmured, still brushing his long white hair. "Yugi and the others… They don't talk to me any more." Ryou sniffed. "I… I decided not to sit with them today, and they never noticed. But it wasn't so bad. A couple of girls saw I was sitting alone and sat with me. They were really nice to me too. When they realized I didn't want to talk, they left me alone." Ryou sighed. "But they're not really friends. They're just a few girls who have a crush on me." The whitenette swallowed deeply. "I've really only got one true friend right now." Ryou smiled weakly. "Malik has been so nice to me, cooking and cleaning and stuff, but he's not you. He never will be you. I want you to wake up so badly… I pray for you Bakura, every night before I go to bed. I… I know you don't like it, but I don't know what else to do." Ryou brushed tears away from his eyes. "I've lost Mum, and Dad, and Amane… I can't lose you too." He whispered, leaning over. He placed a soft kiss on Bakura's lips. Ryou lifted his head away slightly, staring down at Bakura's pale, vacant face.

"I love you so much." Ryou sighed, placing a hand on Bakura's forehead. He softly smoothed back the bangs on the yami's face, smiling weakly. "There's no words in any language I know to tell you just how much." The whitenette rested his head on Bakura's chest for a long moment, listening to him breathe. His heartbeat was strong, sturdy, and filled Ryou with hope.

"Please, Bakura." Ryou begged softly, taking one of Bakura's hands. "You have to wake up. I know you can do it. Jounouchi was right, 'Kura. It's going to take more than a coma to keep you down. You have to wake up. I-I can't bear to have you like this. All I can think about is you lying here. It's so heartbreaking." Ryou looked down at Bakura, his vacant, closed expression, his shut, unmoving eyelids, the breathing tube down his throat, the artificial rise and fall of his chest…

Ryou rested his head on Bakura's chest, and sobbed weakly. _This isn't happening... Bakura... I-I still don't want to believe this is happening_… Ryou sniffed as he straightened his back, and looked down at the unconscious figure. He stared at the breathing tube, the needles and tubes, the wires that hooked him up to countless monitors. Ryou cried harder, burying his face in his hands as he finally realized the awful truth.

"You're…" Ryou sobbed, lowering his hands. "You're not going to wake up…" He cried, his voice soft and rasping. "Are you?"

Ryou's only answer was the blank, expressionless beep of the machines.

* * *

Ryou was crying when he came home. 

Malik, who had been trying to make a salad, immediately dropped the tongs, and ran to the front door. Ryou had slumped against the doorway, and slowly sank to his knees. Malik gasped, and threw himself to the floor beside Ryou. Ryou was sobbing into his hands, his chest heaving as he gasped for air.

"Ryou!" Malik gently took Ryou's shoulders. "Ryou, what's wrong?" Ryou hiccupped, his eyes red-rimmed and swollen. "Ryou… Did you go see Bakura like you said you would?" Ryou finally nodded, gasping through his sobs. "Oh _Ryou..._" Malik sighed, embracing the teenager as he cried.

"He…" Ryou continued to sob. "He's not waking up, is he?" Ryou slowly lifted his head crying. Malik sighed, gently cradling the back of Ryou's head as he held the whitenette in his arms.

"Oh sweetie…" Malik murmured tenderly, gently rocking Ryou from side to side. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Ryou buried his head in Malik's shirt as he sobbed. "I'm so so sorry…" Ryou buried himself in Malik's arms, crying softly.

"I-I'm so-so sc-scared…" He sniffed, pressing his lips together. "Wh-What if he… He…" The word _dies_ hung in the air over them, like a bad omen. Malik sighed, and help Ryou closer. "I-I don't wanna be alone…" Ryou lifted his head, looking at Malik in the eye. "I-I can't be alone…"

"You wont." Malik whispered in Ryou's ear. "I'm going to be here with you for as long as you need me. I'm never going to leave you, Ryou…" Ryou smiled shakily, sniffing. "I'm not saying that I'll take the place of Bakura, no one can ever do that." He softly, daringly, kissed Ryou's forehead. "I just want to be here for you, Ryou. I'll be whatever you want me to be for you. A friend, or…" Malik's nose was inches from Ryou, who was trembling his eyes wide. "Something… Something… A little… More." They were much too close. Ryou's eyes were wider than ever, his mouth falling open slightly. They widened to an impossible size when he realized just what Malik meant, and he blinked. Ryou closed his eyes and leaned forwards a little more, closing the gap between their lips.

Malik suppressed a groan as he kissed the whitenette back, closing his eyes. _Oh Gods... _He'd almost forgotten how good it felt to kiss Ryou, to hold him in his arms. Malik tightened his hold on Ryou, slowly running his tongue along Ryou's lower lip. The whitenette gasped, and opened his mouth. Malik slowly slid his tongue inside Ryou's sweet cavern, groaning at the beautiful taste. Ryou was putty in Malik's hands as he was being kissed, and he loved it. Malik's warm hands dared to snake up underneath the shirt of his school uniform, softly massaging the silky skin. Ryou's eyes were closed as Malik continued to kiss him, leaning against the doorframe. Malik groaned as he continued to massage the mouth of the white-haired angel, feeling his slim body beneath him. Ryou's arms, which were limp, started to rise, and his fingers tangled in Malik's hair. He gently began to return the kiss with fervor, in his own meek, shy way. Malik's eyes widened at Ryou's reaction, and he stared at Ryou's closed eyes, who was clearly enjoying the passion Malik piled upon him. He was _such_ a good kisser! Malik closed his lavender orbs again, amazed.

It was almost a minute before Ryou finally broke away from Malik, gasping for air. His chest heaved as he stared down at his knees, and the Egyptian bit his lip, yanking his hands out from underneath Ryou's shirt and placing them at his sides. Ryou continued to stare wide-eyed at the floor, his brain mulling over what had just happened.

"Ryou?" Malik dared to whisper, panting. The whitenette made no response. "Ryou… Are you okay?" Ryou started, and looked up. He locked eyes with Malik, chocolate staring into lavender, for almost a full minute.

Then his face crumpled, and Ryou started to cry.

Malik swore under his breath, and started to hug Ryou in an attempt to soothe away his tears, but the whitenette abruptly pushed him away, turning away from Malik.

"Don't." He whispered, wiping hurriedly at his mouth. Ryou stared at the floor, his hands shaking in fright. _Oh no oh no, what have I done? I kissed Malik, I outright kissed him... He didn't even... I didn't..._

"Ryou." Malik breathed, gently grabbing one of Ryou's shoulders and turning the whitenette so they looked at each other in the eye. "It's okay…." Ryou hiccupped, and shook his head, sobbing quietly. "Yes…" He breathed, wiping a tear from Ryou's face. "It is." Ryou shook his head again, crying silently. "Look." Malik muttered, cupping Ryou's face in his hands. "If it's the way you feel, and the way I feel, then what's wrong about it?" He breathed, resting his forehead against Ryou's. The teenager sniffed, and looked down.

"B-Bakura…" Ryou whispered softly, closing his eyes. "I… We're going to get married…" He sniffed. "I-I love him, Malik…" The Egyptian sighed, his frustration starting to get the better of him.

"Ryou," He whispered gently. "Bakura's not going to wake up." The whitenette sobbed, shaking his head. "Ryou." Malik gripped his chin harder. "Please. You said so yourself that Bakura wasn't going to wake up. You have to realize that…" Ryou shook his head again, opening his eyes and looking down at his engagement ring. "Please." Malik pleaded. "He's gone, Ryou."

"NO!" Ryou abruptly pushed Malik away, sobbing. "NO he's not!" Ryou's eyes glistened with tears as he stood up. "He's not! He-he's going to wake up, a-and everything's g-going to be how it was before the accident." Ryou looked down at Malik, who had his head in his hands. The whitenette sniffed, and wiped his nose. His insides burned with guilt, and he felt like he was betraying Bakura. Heck, he _knew_ he was betraying Bakura.

_What on earth have I done?_

* * *

Haha... I feel so bad... 

R&R!


	8. Chapter 8

OMFG ITS SHORT! -dies- Meh... It was a good place to end it, and frankly, I was sick of the damn thing. X.X What a lovely attitude I have.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

"Ryou…" Malik pleaded, on his knees beside the bed. "Talk to me, _please_."

The whitenette was silent as he pulled the blankets up to his ears, turned away from Malik. The blonde placed a soft, gentle hand on his shoulder, and Ryou whimpered, shrinking away from the touch. Malik rested his forehead on the mattress, groaning softly.

"Would it help if I said I was sorry?" Malik asked gently. "I-If I realized that this was how you were going to feel… I wouldn't have done it, Ryou." He lifted his head as Ryou shifted around the bed, before finally facing Malik. He was turned on his side, the blanket up to his chin. His eyes were red rimmed and swollen, still leaking tears. "You know I love you." The Egyptian breathed, running a thumb over Ryou's lower lip. The teenager sniffed, and pulled away gently from the touch, closing his eyes.

"I love him, Malik." Ryou finally whispered, his voice trembling. "I-I see him every single day after school… I don't want to let go." He closed his eyes for a moment. "I-I don't think I can ever move on…"

"Ryou." Malik pleaded, grabbing one of Ryou's hands. "It hurts me to see you alone like this. I-It really does…" The whitenette sighed, and sniffed. His hands clenched tightly to Malik, and his chin shook.

"I-I… Every time I think about Bakura, I feel so terrible, Malik." Ryou breathed. "He's my fiancée, we're going to get married…" Malik groaned, placing his head in his hands. Ryou whimpered as Malik stood up, and turned away.

"Ryou…" He sighed. "Don't you get it?" He spun around on his heel. "It's over! Bakura is gone! There is no wedding! There's no you and him! And the sooner you see that, the sooner you…" Malik shoulders slumped in defeat as he stared down at Ryou, who was trying very, very hard not to cry. _"DAMNIT!_" He turned and ran, slamming the door behind him, so hard, the walls shook. Malik leaned against the door, sobbing. He sank down to the carpet, staring into space. _FUCK! That came out completely wrong... He's going to hate me now, I know it. I just bloody know it..._ Malik raised a shaking hand to his eyes. He wiped away the tears, and gave an odd hiccup. _But it's true! Ryou and Bakura are over... Does Ryou think I'm not upset about what happened to Bakura? I am! And guilty as well. It's not like I don't care about him, I do. I'm crazy over him. It's just... I've accepted this, why can't he?_

_Maybe I'm being too hard on him. Of course I am. Ryou's never loved anyone like he loved Bakura. Of course he doesn't want to let him go. He planned on spending the rest of his life with him... It's just... He needs to accept the inevitable, even if he doesn't want to. It really hurts for me to see him like this. I only want to see him happy... _Malik chewed in his lower lip, and raised his eyes up to the ceiling. _I don't know what to do_…

Ryou buried his face in the pillow as he sobbed. It was so unfair! Why was Malik doing this? _Bakura's going to be okay. I know it. He's so much stronger than this… Why doesn't Malik believe me? Fifteen percent is still quite a lot... And I know he can't even breathe for himself anymore, but..._ Ryou rolled over, and poked his head out from the cocoon of blankets. A photo had been propped up on the bedside table next to his head. Ryou sniffed as he grabbed it, rolling over onto his back and pressing a finger against the glass. It was practically the only photo of Bakura that had been taken. Malik had taken it when they were moving house, and although Bakura wanted to burn it, Ryou had seized the photograph and framed it. Fresh tears leaked out of the whitenette's eyes at the memory, and he swallowed a sob. _How can this happen? Bakura... How could you fall in a coma? _Ryou hugged the photograph to his chest. Every time he went to see Bakura, he got more and more upset. It was as though the life was slowly seeping out of him, day by day. And Ryou _hated_ it. All he wanted was _his_ Bakura back. Sure, he had his bad days -Who didn't?- But still, he was so sweet and loving... Ryou would easily spend the rest of his life with Bakura, no questions asked. And that was what he was planning to do! They were going to get married, and everything was going to be perfect…

Ryou didn't blame Malik. He could never do that. Who knew what might have happened if Bakura had been hit? He could have been killed. _At least now, there's a bit of a chance..._ _But in a way, it's worse..._ Ryou didn't realize how right he was. Malik knew. He knew that the state of denial Ryou was in was unhealthy, but what could he do about it? Malik tried to get Ryou out of his funk, but he was failing. Miserably.

* * *

Malik sighed to himself as he entered the living room. Ryou was watching a soap opera, hugging one of the square couch cushions. _He's been doing that a lot._ Malik mused, leaning in the doorway, watching Ryou. _I don't know why... The storylines are confusing, the acting is bad, the scenes are so unbelievable... Maybe he likes to watch the couples in love... Poor kid._ Malik coughed, causing Ryou to look up from the television. The whitenette bit his lip, before grasping the remote, and flicking the television off. Malik made a soft noise in his throat as Ryou replaced the couch cushions and stood up, before walking out of the room.

"Ryou!" Malik jogged across the room, and grabbed hold of Ryou's arm. "Please… You've been ignoring me for days… We really need to talk… You know that." Ryou sighed, and looked down, his eyes veiled by long silver bangs. "Please." Malik repeated. He grabbed Ryou's shoulders, and turned the whitenette to face him. "Look… I'm sorry, okay? I was way out of line, Ryou. I know that." The Egyptian let out a long sigh. "Please, you have to let me apologize-"

"Don't, Malik." Ryou looked up, his eyes sparkling with tears. "Please… I just… I want…" The whitenette turned away. "I don't know what I want…" Malik sighed, and looped one arm around Ryou's waist. He gently cupped his pale, rounded jaw with the other hand, looking straight into wide chocolate-coloured eyes. Ryou sniffed, and looked down, shaking.

"Please don't avoid me like this." Malik whispered, leaning in even closer. Ryou swallowed, staring at his own reflection in Malik's lavender eyes. He closed his eyes as their lips met, his arms limp at his sides. Malik's arm tightened around his waist, and his fingers slid under Ryou's shirt, brushing his pale skin. Ryou's eyes widened as the realization of what was happening sank into him. He broke away from the kiss, and lowered his eyes. Malik sighed, and swallowed.

"Why don't you love me?" He whispered, his eyes wide and frightened. Ryou froze, and looked up, his mouth falling open.

"I-It's not as easy as that, Malik." Ryou breathed, bowing his head. Malik felt the teenager tremble beneath him.

"Yes, it is!" Malik argued. "Yes or no, Ryou, just tell me!" Ryou whimpered, shaking his head.

"N-No, Malik, please, it's not! I have to- You can't just spring that on me-" Malik growled, and grabbed Ryou's shoulders, shaking him slightly.

"Yes or no, Ryou! Please, just tell me-"

"YES!" Ryou was crying, tears silently leaking out from under his eyes. Malik froze, his eyes widening.

"But… That's good!" A grin spread across Malik's face, stretching from almost ear to ear. "That's really-"

"No!" Ryou sobbed. "It's not… I don't want to feel like this!" He sniffed, rubbing at one of his eyes. "I… Bakura…" Malik sighed, and his grip on Ryou's shoulders relaxed.

"Ryou." He said firmly. "Please…"

"It's not a question of whether I love you or not, Malik." He breathed, fighting back tears. "It's a question of whether I love Bakura…" Ryou wiped at his eyes. "And I do." He sniffed. "I can't betray him… You have to understand…" Malik groaned, and released his hold on Ryou's shoulders. He raised a hand to his forehead.

"Ryou." He pleaded. "I-If we love each other, then what's to stop us?" Ryou closed his eyes, setting his teeth in frustration.

"_Bakura!_" He moaned. "I love him, Malik! I can't betray him! I-I can't, I…" Ryou sighed. "I'm not going to do this when he's alive… Please…" He bowed his head sobbing. Malik groaned softly, and turned away. He ran a hand through his hair, blinking back tears.

"Ryou…" He whispered, looking at the wallpaper. The whitenette was silent, except for his soft sobs. Malik turned, and fled, running for the sanctuary of his temporary bedroom.

* * *

_I'm not being fair to him_.

Malik rested his chin on his knees, staring off into space. He'd locked himself in the room three hours ago, and had proceeded to sit on the edge of the bed, crying and thinking. _But it's been almost three months. I thought that I was making some progress with Ryou. But now it seems like we're back to square one... WHY did I have to go and run my mouth off... _Malik groaned, and flopped back on the bed. _Ryou is like, the most important thing in the world to me. If we were together, then... I'd be really happy, and... I know it sounds a bit selfish, but that's all I want. I know everyone sees me as a bit of a slut, and I know I am, but that's not how I want to live my life. Ryou's not the only one who wants to settle down. I would love to stay with Ryou... I'd love it more than anything else in the world. And I know I'm not Bakura. I'd never try to be. But... I could give Ryou what he wanted –kind of. I mean... I could make Ryou happy as well. And I would never, ever hurt him. I... I think we could make a bit of a life for ourselves, if Ryou let it work, I mean. I would always take care of him... _Malik sighed, and shook his head. _What am I thinking? Ryou loves Bakura. He said himself, he wasn't going to do anything when he was still alive-_

Malik sat up, his mouth falling open. _So what... What if he died? _

_No._

_Don't even think like that! There's no way that he could die. Who does want to die? _

_But... His soul would go free. Maybe he could even join up with his family-_

_NO._ Malik shook his hair, golden bangs falling into his eyes. _That's not a good thing! Bakura wouldn't want to die, he'd rather be in..._

_**Would** he rather be in a coma? He's not dead... But I wouldn't call it alive. His mind his gone, he wont remember anything since the accident when we wakes up, but his soul won't ever die._ _It's still inside him. It's... trapped. I never thought about it like that. He's fading away in that hospital-_

_NO!_ Tears sprang to Malik's eyes. _I'm... I'm thinking about Bakura dying... No! No! I don't want to think about that. He's not going to die in that hospital. All of those machines are keeping him alive. He's not going to die..._

_But what if that was the best thing?_ Malik's hands twisted in the sheets. _Bakura's soul would go free, Ryou and I would be together to console each other and keep each other happy..._

_No. I'm turning this all into myself. This is Ryou and Bakura. I don't even come into the picture. I can't intervene. What will happen will happen._ Malik looked over to the clock, and blinked. It was almost eleven. _I should go to bed._

As Malik got ready to go to bed, however, his mind was whirling. As he tugged off his clothes, and slid between the sheets, his exhausted body relaxing into the mattress. Despite his physical tiredness, however, Malik's mind was buzzing. It was the one question going through his head that kept him up all night, restless and thinking.

_But... What if?_

* * *

"We're out of milk."

Ryou muttered the words, his eyes downcast. Malik nodded silently as he entered the kitchen, and opened the fridge door, scanning it's contents.

"And butter."

Ryou whispered, keeping his nose in his Biology notes. Malik nodded again, and closed the fridge door. He headed towards the pantry, and pulled the wooden handles, before looking inside.

"And bread-"

"I get it!" Ryou gasped as Malik spun on his heel, glaring at the docile teenager. "Okay, I'll go shopping while you're at school, okay?" Ryou's eyes were wide, and he nodded mutely, wringing his hands. Malik sighed, and leaned against the pantry, slumping his shoulders and closing his eyes. "I'm sorry…" He sighed, rubbing at his eyes. "I'm really tired…" Ryou sighed, and set his biology notes down on the table.

"Couldn't you sleep last night?" He asked gently, standing up and walking across the kitchen to Malik. The Egyptian shook his head, and yawned. "At all?" Malik shook his head again, suppressing a second yawn. "Oh… I'm really sorry." Ryou looked down.

"Why?" Malik muttered, straightening up and walking over to the sink. He poured himself a glass, and took a gulp. "It's not your fault." Ryou shrugged sadly, before walking back to the table. He gathered his notes into a pile, and placed it inside his bag. "It's not, Ryou…" Malik sighed. "I'm just really messed up and confused right now." He muttered, looking down. Ryou nodded in understanding.

"Me too." He whispered, staring at the floor. Malik sighed, and walked towards Ryou. He wrapped his arms around the whitenette's shoulders in a loose hug, and before Ryou had a chance to protest or push away, Malik kissed him for a moment.

"I'm going back to bed." Malik sighed as he pulled away, staring at Ryou's eyes. "Have… Have a good day in school." He turned and left the room. Ryou's knees were weak, and he sat down in one of the chairs. He raised a trembling hand to his lips, and closed his eyes. Tears trickled from his closed eyelids, and he suppressed a sob. He was so scared and confused and mixed up… Ryou held his face in his hands as he cried, and Malik, in the next room, could hear him. He stayed in the living room, curled up on the couch. He'd been thinking about what Ryou said about Bakura being alive, and also that he wasn't going to naturally die, when he was hooked up to so many machines.

_But what if he was... Helped along?_

_

* * *

_

"Hey, 'Kura." Ryou breathed, closing the door behind him. His shoes squeaked on the tiles as he headed towards the yami, and he took his regular spot by the bed. As usual, Ryou slipped his hand into Bakura's, and started stroking his long hair. Ryou would always spend at least ten minutes staring intently at Bakura's face, wishing for a sign of movement, but it was always in vain. Ryou let out a long shaky sigh, resting his head against Bakura's chest for a long moment. _At least his heart is still really strong_…

"I… I'm feeling really confused." The teenager whispered, looking down at Bakura's vacant face. "I-I… I don't know quite how to tell you this… I-I feel so terrible…" Ryou wiped at his wet eyes. "I started… Well, I started getting this crush on Malik." He swallowed. "I-It… Malik… He's been treating me so well since your accident… I've never met anyone who is so devoted to me. He's gentle, and kind, and never got angry at me. And then… I started liking him more, and more." Ryou sniffed, and hiccupped. "I never realized it… But I was falling in love with him. I… I don't know why… But when I was with you, I just… I felt so special, and loved, and… I wanted to feel that again…" Ryou moaned, and shook his head. "No, that's not right… I don't know how to explain it… I felt… complete when I was with you. And then when you… Turned out like this." He smoothed Bakura's hair. "I hurt. I hurt because I've lost you. And… I want you back. I want you to wake up and be with me again, and everyone will be happy… But." Ryou suppressed a sob. "Part of me -A big part- knows that you're not going to wake up. And there's not going to be an us…" The teenager swallowed. "But… I can't be alone… I'm so scared. I-I love Malik, but I love you too. I love you so much more. You have to know that. But… I don't know what to do about my feelings, Bakura. I love him, and a little part of me wants to be with him, because I hate being so alone. I know I'm an emotional wreck, I…" Ryou buried his face in his hands. "I don't know what to do…" The whitenette lifted his head. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do." He repeated one last time.

"I-I don't know what to do…"

* * *

"I'm going to get more groceries today." Malik muttered, looking down at his cereal. Ryou nodded softly, silently, keeping his eyes trained on his toast. "Any special requests of what you want?" He asked. Ryou chewed on his lower lip silently.

"Chocolate." He sighed, rubbing at his eyes. Malik raised an eyebrow, and made a mental note in his head, before taking his cereal bowl, and heading towards the sink.

"Comfort food?" The Egyptian asked, as he started rinsing his bowl. Ryou nodded morosely, and pushed his plate away. "Oh Ryou…" The whitenette sighed, before standing up and grabbing his bag.

"I have to go." He sighed, not looking at Malik. The blonde's shoulders slumped as Ryou closed the door behind him, and started to walk towards the bus stop. Malik swore, and kicked the kitchen cabinet.

"Fuck it." He groaned, turning around, and leaning against the fridge. It felt cool against his tanned skin, and vibrated softly. "_Fuck_ it!" Malik repeated, suppressing tears as he slid to the floor. He drew his legs to his chest, and rested his chin on his knees. The Egyptian tried to blink away the tears that clung to his eyelashes, but failed. He sniffed, and looked up. "Can't we even be friends anymore?" He whispered to himself. All he wanted was a lower and a friend, and he lost them both in a few short seconds. It wasn't fair…

Malik was silent as he stood up, and ripped the shopping list from the fridge. He grabbed his keys, and slammed the door behind him. _Better do this damn shopping._

* * *

_Is this the right thing to do?_

Malik closed the door to the room behind him, and leaned against the white enamel. He lowered his eyes, feeling exhausted. It had been one long, almost totally sleepless week since Ryou admitted his love for Malik, and he had done a _lot_ of thinking, locked in his room for hours at a time. He'd thought about it, weighed up the pros and cons, and considered every consequence, before knowing what he had to do to make everyone happy.

He had to end Bakura's life.

Tears welled in Malik's eyes, but he pushed them down. His hands shook as he walked across the white tiled floor, and he kept his eyes trained on Bakura, his expression vacant, expressionless.

_It's a mercy killing_. Malik tried to tell himself, as he stopped at the head of Bakura's bed. _Bakura would never want to be trapped like this._ He stared at the oxygen tube, the needles in Bakura's arm and sensors on his chest. _He wouldn't want this_… Malik brushed a lock of hair out of Bakura's eyes, biting his lip.

"I'm sorry, Bakura." The Egyptian breathed, closing his eyes. "I wish it didn't have to be like this… I do." He smoothed out the white bedcovers, careful not to touch any of the needles in Bakura's arm. "I really care about you, you know. You're like, my best friend. It hurts me so much to see you like this… And I'm still not sure if it's completely the right thing to do…" Malik let out a long sigh, and wiped the tears from his face. "But I know you, Bakura. And I know that… That this isn't what you would want. You were so vibrant, Bakura. And seeing you so lifeless like this, it's killing me and Ryou. I… I wish there was another way." Malik leaned down, and placed a soft kiss on Bakura's lips.

Tears dripped from his eyes, and onto Bakura's cheeks. The saline water pooled on his deathly white face for a moment, before trickling down his face. It looked like he was crying. Malik leaned against the hospital gurney, his head in his hands. He almost lost his nerve as he sobbed in his hands, but eventually, Malik lifted his head, and wiped at his eyes before walking over to the machine that supplied Bakura with oxygen. As he thought, access to the power was protected with a code, but the tube…

Malik was crying as he grasped the clear plastic tube with one hand. He placed one hand on the cool plastic of the machine, and tightened his grip. His heart thudded like a sledgehammer in his chest, and he felt sick.

Malik closed his eyes as he pulled out the oxygen tube. The plastic slipped from his shaking fingers, to the floor. Bakura didn't move, but Malik watched his chest as it stilled, and the yami stopped breathing.

"I'm so sorry." Malik whispered, tears trickling down his face as he leaned down to kiss Bakura one last time, his pale face utterly still. "But… I'm going to take really good care of Ryou for you, don't you worry."

He turned and ran.

* * *

"When do you get off for lunch again?"

"Just a few minutes. Have to check the rest of these coma patients in ICU… Wanna go catch a coffee?"

"Sounds good." The brunette smiled. "It's been a hectic day already." Her fellow nurse rolled her eyes.

"You're telling me…" She sighed, brushing a lock of bleached blonde hair out of her eyes. "That bus crash was terrible… I'll meet up with you later?" the junior nurse sighed, glancing down at her clip board as she grasped the door handle. A small smile formed on her lips as she caught the 'Y. Bakura' scrawled on the card. It was true, the white-haired coma patient had become the darling of the Intensive Care Unit. All of the hospital staff thought it was sweet that his devoted fiancée had spent at least an hour with Bakura every day for the past three-and-a-half months.

The smile was wiped from the nurses face the instant she walked into the room. Her eyes widened, and she gasped, running over to the white-haired yami. Instead of the steady _beeps_ of the machine, it was one long buzz. She rattled the heart monitor, hoping for a glitch, but it was true.

"Help!" She screamed, pressing the alarm button beside Bakura's bed. All she could see was the dark green screen of the heart monitor, and the long flat line.

Bakura's heart had stopped beating.

* * *

Muahahahaha. I think I'm evil. XDD

R&R!


	9. Chapter 9

Ugh. SORRY it's so short! -dies- Hehe... I'm sorry for teh evil cliffy, too. X.X

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

"Clear!"

Everyone stood back as the doctor placed the two paddles on Bakura's chest, and pressed the button that closed the circuit, jolting the yami with a sharp burst of electricity. Bakura arched his back, but made no other sign of movement.

"No heart rate." The doctor swore, and rubbed the defibrillator paddles together. The blonde nurse increased her pace, anxiously pumping air into his lungs. Bakura's chest rose and fell every time she squeezed the artificial rubber lung, which was connected to his broken breathing tube.

"Increase to two-fifty." He commanded, the paddles hovering over Bakura's chest. The brunette nurse nodded. "Clear!" Everyone stood back once more, apart from the nurse, who continued to pump air. Again, Bakura's heart was still, despite the electricity. "Damnit!"

"It's been too long." The brunette looked at her watch. "We don't know long he was without air for…"

"Increase the voltage." The doctor looked down at Bakura's vacant, dead face.

"It's no use! It's been too long, and he's a coma patient anyway-"

"Increase the voltage!" The nurse eeped, and complied. "Okay… Clear!" The doctor tried the paddles one last time.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._ The four medical staff let out a big sigh in relief as the heart monitor started to beep once more, signifying Bakura's heartbeat.

"It's not steady." The brunette sighed. "He could give out any minute…"

"Hook him back up to the oxygen." The doctor commanded. "Someone tampered with his tube… I want twenty-four hour supervision." The nurse bit her lip, but realizing that there was no arguing, she nodded.

"We shouldn't have done this." The blonde whispered, staring at Bakura's face. "He's in a coma… He's not going to wake up. We should have left him dead."

The doctor wouldn't look at her.

* * *

Malik was still unpacking the groceries when Ryou was getting home.

His hands were shaking. He still couldn't believe what had happened. He killed Bakura. He was a murderer. It was heartbreaking, to think that he would never see him alive again.

_Well… If he was in a coma, wouldn't he still never wake up? This was for the best._.. Malik was interrupted by the door opening.

"Hi, Malik!" Ryou bounded into the kitchen, a smile on his face. The Egyptian hid a wince, and buried himself in the pantry, putting away the groceries. Obviously, Ryou didn't know Bakura was dead. _And I hope I'm not going to have to be the one to tell him... His cellphone was ringing like crazy in his bedroom.. _

"Hey, Ryou." The Egyptian faked a smile as he stood back from the pantry. "How've you been?" Ryou shrugged, and his shoulders slumped slightly.

"Okay." He sighed. "A bit long…" Malik opened his mouth to respond, when the phone in the living room went off. Ryou blinked, and Malik's heart froze. _Oh no._ "The phone!" Ryou gasped, turning on his heel, and running into the living room. "I'll get it!"

"No." Malik whispered, leaning against the pantry door, his knees weak.

"Hello?" His heart clenched at Ryou's soft voice, and tears pooled in his eyes as the thought about the pain Ryou was about to go through. The Egyptian straightened himself, and then walked into the living room, staring at Ryou in the doorway. "Oh, hi. Is everything okay?... Oh… I… _Oh God._" Malik closed his eyes as Ryou sank to his knees, the phone in shaking hands. "Are you sure? I… Oh… U-Um…" Ryou broke down crying. Malik gasped, and ran over to the teenager, gathering the shaking form in his arms.

"Ryou…" He whispered as he hung up the phone. "Ryou sweetie… What's wrong?" Ryou was sobbing loudly, his head buried in Malik's shoulder. He was almost hyperventilating in his grief, crying so hard he could barely breathe.

"B-B-Bak-Bakura." He finally managed to gasp, lifting his head. "H-He… He's n-n-not…" Malik sighed, resting his chin on Ryou's fluffy white head. "He… He…"

"Shh…" Malik whispered, gently rocking the whitenette back and forth. His insides were ripped with guilt as he held Ryou, but he was mildly surprised. _He's taking it a lot better than I thought_.

"He…" Ryou hiccupped as he tried to speak, but to no avail. Everything felt so _strange_. It didn't feel like Malik had his arms around him. He didn't feel anything. He was numb. All he could think about was Bakura, fresh tears slipping from his eyes each time he drew in a fresh punctuated, shuddering gasp. All Ryou could think about was how he was never, ever going to wake up.

"Shhh…" Malik shifted Ryou in his arms slightly, cradling the shaking, frail teen. "It's okay, it's okay… Tell me what's wrong…" Ryou had his head buried in Malik's shirt, still crying. He felt as though his heart had been ripped out and smeared on the carpet. How could this be happening? Who would ever do this to Bakura? Ryou was in shock, hyperventilating and sobbing into Malik's arms. The Egyptian only rocked him from side to side, softly whispering into Ryou's ear. He thought it was over. He thought Bakura was dead, and Ryou would finally be his.

He was wrong.

* * *

Malik sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed. Ryou had finally drifted into an exhausted sleep, after crying in Malik's arms for literally hours. Slowly, Malik had managed to extract the story together, piecing the broken mumblings punctuated by grief-stricken sobs.

And he had failed.

Bakura lived. Apparently, a nurse had walked in just in time, and they managed to resuscitate him. The flip side, however, was that due to brain damage sustained by his extended lack of oxygen, Bakura's chance of waking up had lowered to less than one percent. The nurse had actually outright told him that he couldn't hope for Bakura to wake up anymore. That had really hit home for Ryou. He sat in shock for fifteen minutes until breaking down completely, overcome in his grief. Malik honestly didn't blame him.

"Ryou…" The Egyptian whispered as he lay down beside Ryou. "I'm so sorry about Bakura. I really am. I loved him. And you're distraught that he's gone. I understand that completely." He started to comb Ryou's long hair. "Do you… Do you think you'll learn to move on?" He whispered, not expecting an answer. He didn't get one. "Because… I'm going to be here for you, Ryou. Always." Malik nuzzled Ryou's neck. "I'll wait a million years, just to hold you." Malik sighed, and sat up. He yanked at his shirt, which he managed to drag over his head, and throw into a corner. He gave his trousers the same treatment, and pulled back the blankets. The Egyptian sighed as he relaxed into the mattress, and rolled over, staring at Ryou. There was a small smile on his face as he loosely wrapped his arms around Ryou's waist, enjoying his warmth. The whitenette sighed in his sleep, and to Malik's surprise, snuggled into his chest.

"Mmm…" Ryou groaned, resting his head on the pillow, very close to Malik's shoulder. The Egyptian's eyes were wide in shock as Ryou curled a leg around his, and his mouth went dry. _Shit. Oh shit_… "Kura…" The whitenette sighed, his eyes closed in a blissful sleep. Malik's mouth fell open, and his eyes widened even more. _Shit! He's dreaming about Bakura... Poor Ryou._

"Ryou…" Malik whispered, lifting his head and leaning over Ryou. "Ryou, you're dreaming…" Ryou moaned slightly in his sleep, his lips parted slightly. Malik froze, and he suppressed a groan. Oh, those supple, rosebud lips looked _so_ good…

_No!_ Malik shook his head. _I can't! It's far, far too soon. I need to give it time, a month at least, before I can do anything. He's going to be so depressed_… Ryou moaned softly again, arching his neck slightly. _He's certainly dreaming about Bakura again... And it looks pretty sexy._ Malik swallowed, and started shaking Ryou's shoulder.

"Ryou." The blonde whispered urgently, staring down at the whitenette's frail form, still with sleep. "Ryou, wake up." Ryou was unmoving. Malik sighed, and shook the teenager harder. "Ryou!"

Ryou gasped as his eyes snapped open, and his mouth fell open in shock. He blinked, and lifted his head slightly, looking around the room. He looked almost innocent as he locked eyes with Malik.

Then he started to cry.

"Oh, Ryou…" Malik whispered as he gathered Ryou in his arms, relaxing against the mattress. Ryou's head was buried in his shoulder, his frail form crippled with sobs and wails.

"I-I had a dream about him." Ryou was finally able to whisper tearfully. "I-I… I dreamt he woke up. I dreamt I was in the hospital room, and we woke up. And then he kissed me and I sat down on the bed, and then he lay down on top of me, and…" Ryou started crying again, hiding his face in his hands. Malik sighed, and gently kissed the top of Ryou's head.

"Hey…" He whispered. "It's okay, Ryou. I know you're upset, but I'm here for you. You're going to be fine, okay?" Ryou nodded limply, still crying in Malik's shoulder. The Egyptian sighed, and blinked.

_Wow. I was right. Ryou was in the middle of a sex dream. Heh. Who thought Ryou would be a hornbag like that? But then again... He and Bakura were banging every night before the accident, and he's gone four months without, now. He'd never jack off, I know it. He's too innocent for that. He wants it, but doesn't want to admit it to himself. _Malik gently rocked Ryou from side to side.

Maybe it was going to be easier to get Ryou in the sack than he thought.

* * *

"Change the channel."

Malik looked down at Ryou, who murmured the words in his arms, almost asleep. "Sick of those darn soap operas…" The Egyptian smiled, and fluffed a few strands of long white hair.

"Sure." He said easily, grabbing the remote on the couch cushion. Malik was sprawled out across the leather couch, Ryou curled up in his arms. Inwardly, Malik was jumping for joy. _Ryou's finally getting sick of soap operas. Maybe he's getting better. For real, this time._

It had been three agonizing weeks since Bakura's near-death, and Malik was almost beside himself. He was so _frustrated_. He'd tried to make a move on Ryou once or twice, but either he was too naïve, or he didn't want another relationship yet. Malik suspected the former, and he was getting annoyed. _How selfish of me... I want Ryou to get over the love of his life so I can have him._ Malik was feeling sick with himself every time he thought about what he had did. He knew that it was wrong- There was no question about it. He was ravaged by guilt. The Egyptian would have completely broken down if it weren't for Ryou, who was in a worse state than him.

Instead, he dealt with his grief and confusion in the privacy in the bathroom. He wasn't hurting himself too badly, but Malik was still terrified about Ryou finding out. Ryou thought of Malik as strong and secure, and that was how the Egyptian tried his hardest to act around him. Even though he was broken up inside, Malik tried his hardest to be the strong for Ryou. _At least Isis and Rishid are finally coming home soon. I won't be able to live with him, not with Ryou like this, but I just want to see them again. Especially Rishid. I can't keep up this façade for much longer._

"I think you should go to bed." Malik whispered, looking down at Ryou. The whitenette groaned, his eyes half lidded. "Ryou… You're really tired, I can tell." Ryou shook his head, sighing.

"Not…" He murmured. "Don't wanna go to bed." Malik sighed, embracing the whitenette softly.

"What if I went in with you?" The Egyptian whispered softly in Ryou's ear. He didn't feel tired at all, but Ryou needed to sleep. Last night, the teenager had another sleepless night, punctuated with dreams about Bakura, and eventually, Ryou forced himself to stay awake until morning. Malik was awake with him, but he had the opportunity to sleep during the day, unlike Ryou, who was forced to go to school.

"Yeah?" Ryou sleepily opened his eyes, and looked up at the Egyptian. "You would?" Malik grinned, and nodded. Ryou sighed, and gently nodded his head. "Okay." Malik sighed, and scooped a hand under Ryou's shoulders and knees.

"Here you go." Malik stood up, Ryou's head lolling limply against his chest. The blonde kicked off the T.V with his foot as he left the lounge, the whitenette wobbling in his arms slightly. Malik sighed as he walked into the bedroom, blundering slightly through the darkness. He finally found the bed, where he lay Ryou down on his side. The pale teenager was half asleep as Malik crawled up to the bed. He pulled off Ryou's socks and shoes, and then started unbuttoning the whitenette's jeans. Ryou's breath hitched, and Malik felt him tense.

"Malik?" He whispered softly, his voice sounding lost and alone in the darkness. The blonde froze, and chewed on his lip. "What…"

"Shh…" The Egyptian breathed. "I'm only taking off your jeans so you can sleep better, okay?" Ryou gulped, and nodded weakly. "You okay?" Ryou nodded again, wiggling his lips slightly so Malik would slide the denim down his slim pale legs. Ryou was almost totally out of it as he was gently slid beneath the covers, and sighed, burying his head in the pillow. Malik obediently followed suit, crawling under the sheets. Ryou almost immediately linked his arms around Malik's waist, resting his head on the Egyptians chest. "Night Ryou." Malik sighed, weaving his hand amongst Ryou's silky hair. The whitenette groaned softly, before drifting off into a deep, comfortable sleep. Malik sighed, still combing Ryou's hair with his fingers, choosing not to sleep.

He knew it wouldn't be long before the nightmares started.

* * *

The airport was so _crowded_!

Malik sighed to himself as he paced back and forth, his boots clacking on the tiles. His heart thudded in his chest, and his palms shone with sweat. _Why on earth am I so nervous? It's Rishid and Isis. My family_. The word gave Malik a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he smiled. His lavender eyes strayed to the clock that hung over a reception desk, and he licked his lips. The plane was due to touch down any moment.

"_Attention. Flight 823, departed from Cairo, has just landed in gate 23..."_

Malik grinned widely as he turned on his heel, and started running. He looked up at the big blue-and-white signs above him, biting his lip. _23... 23... Here!_ He skidded to a stop, the grin on his face widening as people started to walk out of the now open door. A strange man in a turban, a business man talking on his cellphone, a woman with two squabbling children…

_Rishid!_

Malik yelped, pushing past the thick crowd of people to meet his adopted brother. The man only had time to notice a skinny, caramel-coloured figure topped in blonde rush towards him, before the wind was knocked out of his lungs in a furious hug.

"Someone is happy to see us." Isis remarked, ruffling messy sand-coloured looks. Malik made no reply, instead, he hugged his brother harder, tears pushing in the back of his eyes. _No. I'm not gonna cry. I will **not** cry. I'm stronger than that... _Malik sniffed, but couldn't succeed in stemming the flow of tears. Before he knew it himself, the Egyptian had broken down into tears.

"What…" Rishid awkwardly led Malik over to the nearest seat, and sat him down. "Malik…" He breathed, disentangling himself from the teenager, and placing a hand under his chin. "Are you okay?" Malik hiccupped, and shook his head, wiping at his eyes.

"No…" He gasped, crying. By this time, Isis was at his side, gently rubbing soft circles into his back. "I… I've done something terrible." He mumbled, screwing his eyes shut tight. Isis made a soft sound, and lifted her head slightly. She met eyes with Rishid, who was only looking thoughtful.

"Is this about Bakura?" Isis asked, still massaging Malik's back kindly. The Egyptian gave an odd sob, and nodded, his head buried in Rishids shoulder. "Oh Malik…" He had been calling his older siblings at least twice a week, keeping them up to date.

"I-I can't…" He whispered, sobbing. "I-I can't do it anymore." Rishid frowned.

"Do what?" He asked, looking down at the sandy mop of hair. Malik swallowed, and finally lifted his head, wiping at his eyes. He kept his gaze down on the floor, however, chewing on his lower lip.

"Being strong." He murmured, tears still leaking from his lavender orbs. He drew in a deep, shaky breath, and swallowed. "For Ryou, I mean. He's so broken up about this whole mess, and I'm trying to make things better, but I'm only screwing it up more." He sniffed, and raised his eyes, looking Rishid in the eye. "He… I mean… He wasn't supposed to live…"

"Bakura?" Rishid narrowed his eyes, staring thoughtfully at Malik. The blonde looked down, unable to cope with the penetrating stare, and nodded.

"What do you mean?" Isis asked, tilting her head to one side slightly. Malik's hands were shaking, his heartbeat hollow in his chest, like a drum.

"I…" Malik looked up again. These were the only people in the world he could trust. Malik had done far worse things, albeit a little less personal. _They would never think less of me…_ "Bakura." Malik sighed, his voice flat and hollow. "I tried to kill him. I… I thought it was for the best. I knew he was never going to wake up, and Ryou knew as well, deep down, it was the only way for us both to be happy…" The Egyptian looked around at his siblings, who were both stricken.

"I… I did the wrong thing, didn't I?"

* * *

Malik's hands shook as he closed the door to Ryou's house behind him. He licked his lips in anxiety, staring at the fluffy white head on the couch, Ryou reading a book.

"Hey." The Egyptian muttered dully, dropping his backpack to the floor, and kicking off his shoes. He left them in a haphazard pile on the kitchen floor, before entering the adjoining lounge with a sigh. "Ryou…" He swallowed as he took a seat on the couch. "There's something I have to tell you." Ryou blinked, and shifted his eyes from his book, and onto Malik.

"Yes?" He inquired gently, tilting his head to one side. Malik sighed, raising his eyes heavenward for a long moment.

"I… Well… It's really important." Malik took a deep breath. "It's about Bakura."

That grabbed Ryou's attention.

The familiar look of pain and sadness was on Ryou's face as he folded a corner of his current page, and closed the book. Malik was almost in tears as he looked down at his hands. _I can't believe I'm going to do this... But Rishid was right. I have to tell Ryou. I can't have a relationship with him based on lies. It just wouldn't be right…_

"Wh-What about him?" Ryou stammered, his chocolate eyes flashing slightly in fear. "Did you get a phone call or something? What's wrong?" Malik chewed on his lower lip, still keeping his eyes lowered.

"No… I… I know who cut his oxygen." Malik breathed. Tears glistened on his eyelids, and his hands shook more. Ryou had frozen, and his eyes widened.

"Wh-Who?" He breathed, his heart freezing in his chest. Malik closed his eyes, fighting back tears. _Oh God, Oh God... Please, I don't want to do this. I know I have to, but- But..._ "Malik? The whitenette whispered. "Who?"

"M-M-Me." He finally managed to stutter. "I… I pulled out his oxygen tube." Ryou gasped, and sat very, very still. He stared at Malik with large brown orbs wide in shock. Ryou didn't know what to do as the information sank in. _Malik tried to kill Bakura. He tried to kill him_. He felt numb, and in shock. He didn't know how to react.

That was probably why Ryou hit him, Malik realized later. Ryou raised his hand, and slapped Malik on the cheek. Hard. The force of the blow sent Malik's head to one side. He gritted his teeth, closing his eyes. The left side of his face burned, but Malik barely felt the pain.

"Why." Ryou's voice was low, and his shoulders shook. Malik closed his eyes, and couldn't hold the tears that coursed down his cheeks. "Why." He repeated, clenching his hands into fists.

"I…" Malik's voice broke, and he looked down. "I thought it was right… Ryou… You were so unhappy… You weren't accepting that Bakura wasn't going to wake up-"

"So you decided to kill my fiancée?" Ryou cried. He was crying, and his voice was hoarse. "You… You…"

"Ryou, I'm sorry." Malik sobbed. "I… But you were getting happier! You…"

"Bakura is the love of my life!" Ryou stood up, tears trickling down his cheeks. "And you… You…" Ryou placed his head in his hands, and sobbed, betrayal tearing through his heart. "How could you?" He breathed. "How?"

"Ryou." Malik pleaded. "I-"

"I think you should go." The whitenette whispered, lifting his shaking hands from his face. Malik could see the hurt and anxiety and _anger_ in his face.

"Ryou-"

"Go Malik!" The whitenette sobbed loudly. "I don't want you near me!" The Egyptian shook his head.

"No…" He whispered. "Ryou, you can't mean that-"

"Go!" Ryou screamed, almost beside himself in grief and betrayal. "Please, Malik!" The Egyptian closed his eyes, and turned around.

He ran.

* * *

Night was falling.

The sky was a dark, dusky purple, edged in gold. Stars twinkled in the sky, tiny pinpricks that dotted the heavens.

Malik shivered, and wrapped his arms around himself. He was still crying, his head bowed. This wasn't fair! He loved Ryou! He _loved_ him more than he loved anyone in the whole wide world! A life without Ryou…

Well, it wasn't worth living.

Malik opened his eyes, and looked over the edge of the building. The city street, fifteen stories below, looked tiny. Fear rose in the pit of his stomach, and Malik tried his hardest to push it down. He swallowed deeply, and licked his lips.

Malik jumped when the cell phone in his pocket jingled. He gulped, and with shaking hands, pulled the small black device from his pocket. He looked at the screen, and closed his eyes. Ryou was calling.

He drew his hand back, and threw it, as far as he could. The phone flew, right across the street, and landed in a trashcan. Malik sank to his knees, and sobbed, leaning against the low brick wall. He didn't want to face Ryou. He didn't want to say goodbye.

Malik took a deep breath as he straightened himself, looking over the side of the building again. _Me and my fear of heights_… He licked his lips, and, taking a deep breath, climbed up onto the top of the wall. He wavered slightly, unsteady, and closed his eyes.

The Egyptian wondered if it would hurt. Would he merely break a hundred bones, crushed and shattered on the pavement, yet still live? Or would he die instantly, a smashed corpse on the concrete. He shivered.

_Ryou hates me. Isis is disappointed in me, Rishid doesn't know what to do with me_… _The only people I care about_…_ They're done with me. I don't deserve them. _

Malik closed his eyes, and let out a long sigh. _Ryou_…_ I love you so much. I tried to do the right thing, and now you hate me. I knew you would have taken it hard, that's why I tried to protect you. Damnit, I'm such an idiot!_ Malik wiped at the tears from his cheek, and looked down, one last time.

* * *

Eeep... -sigh-

R&R!


	10. Chapter 10

Eep! I am so sorry about the lateness! To make up, it's long! Hehehehe

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

"MALIK!"

Ryou's eyes widened as he stared around the street. Malik was gone, and his motorcycle was missing from the garage. He drew in a quick, frightened breath, before dashing inside. The whitenette was almost hyperventilating as he ran into the bedroom, his hands shaking. He jumped over the bed, and yanked open the drawer to Bakura's bedside table. He sorted through the papers, his heart skipping a beat when his fingers brushed Bakura's journal. Ryou bit his lip, and pushed the leather bound book aside, finding the keys. He seized them with a jangle, and practically _flew_ out of the house. He slammed the front door behind him, without bothering to lock it.

"Oh no." He gasped, running into the garage. He gulped as he stared at Mercedes, his hands trembling. _I can't drive... If I crash the car, Bakura will kill me. _Ryou closed his eyes as the harmless mental comment slipped from his mind. _No he won't..._

_Don't dwell on that! Find Malik! He ran off almost half an hour ago, he could be anywhere by now._ Ryou bit his lip, unlocking the car door with the remote. He slid into the black interior, blinking back tears. He hadn't been in this car ever since Bakura slipped into his coma…_ Stop it! Malik! You have to find him before he does something stupid._ Ryou licked his lips nervously, starting the car. He knew the basics of driving- He wasn't completely dumb. Bakura had taken him out for lessons several times, although Ryou was still baffled as to where he got his driving skills from.

"Okay." Ryou gulped, adjusting the rear vision mirror. "Okay… But the car in reverse… Seatbelt on… Alright." Ryou screeched the car as he reversed into the road, and winced. "Why can't I just run?" He moaned. "I know it's much slower but…" Ryou sighed, turning the steering wheel, and placing his foot on the accelerator. He yelped as the car screeched off, making a face. He released his hold on the pedal a little, and the car slowed.

It was a minute or two of driving before Ryou managed to get used to the car, but finally, he felt confident enough to turn the corner, and get onto the road into downtown. Ryou licked his lips, shaking from nerves.

_I'm going to find you Malik_.

* * *

Malik's eyes were closed as the wind whistled through his hair, playing slightly on his face. _Huh. Funny how you appreciate the random things in life when it's almost over._ He took a deep breath, his left foot hanging over the edge of the building, staring down at the concrete-

"Malik Ishtar!" The Egyptian froze, and his eyes snapped wide open. His heart thudded in his chest, and his mouth went dry. _No..._

"Ryou." He whispered, closing his eyes. Ryou's heart stopped when he saw Malik standing on the edge of the building, one foot over the edge. He gasped, and started running towards the blonde. He had looked all over, for Malik. Isis and Rishid hadn't seen Malik at all, so Ryou was left to anxiously check all of his favourite haunts, and failing that, combed the streets. It was pure chance that Ryou found Malik's bike in a car park, and looked up.

"Don't!" Ryou screamed, holding two hands over his mouth. "Don't you dare!" Malik placed his foot back on the wall, and slowly turned around.

"Ryou…"

"How could you?" Ryou was tearful, his shoulders shaking. Malik was completely stationary, staring at Ryou with shock written on his face. "You… You promised… You said that you wouldn't leave me, Malik. You promised!" Ryou screamed the last few words, and broke down into sobs. The Egyptian was in shock, his eyes wide. He was silent for a long moment before his brow creased in anger.

"Me, me, me… Listen to yourself, Ryou! You're so damned selfish! Why the hell should I live my life for someone who screamed at me and told me to leave? I've given my entire life for you, Ryou! I tried my hardest to put aside my feelings and look after you! Yes, I tried to kill Bakura, but I had the best thoughts for you! That was all I thought about, Ryou! That's all I ever do think about!" Malik was crying, his heels hanging over the edge. "I love you, Ryou! I love you so much, and it hurts that you don't feel the same way. It's all I want, Ryou!" The whitenette sniffed, and wiped at his eyes.

"Malik…" He whispered softly. "Come down from there." He stretched out his arms, chocolate eyes wide and imploring. _"Please_." Malik looked down, his hands shaking. "Malik…" Ryou tried again. "I don't want you to die. I… I was just angry. Please. I care about you so much. You… You can't go. You can't leave me…"

Malik was sobbing as he jumped down from the low wall, and into Ryou's arms. The whitenette gasped as he was knocked breathlessly into the ground. Malik perched on his chest. The Egyptian looked into Ryou's wide chocolate eyes for a long time. Both of the teenagers were crying, Malik silently, while Ryou sobbed weakly. Malik buried his head in Ryou's shoulder while his shoulders shook with sobs, and Ryou wrapped his arms around Malik's chest, his chin on Malik's head. He lay on the concrete, Malik stretched out on top of him.

"How could you?" Ryou gasped as he slapped Malik hard across the face. The Egyptian gasped, his head turned to one side. Malik was silent for a long time, his head lifted away from Ryou's chest.

"So… you're mad, then?" He whispered meekly, still not looking Ryou in the eye.

"Mad?" Ryou spluttered. "I'm furious! How could you even think about killing yourself Malik? How could you? I-I thought you really loved me…" He was crying softly, tears leaking frown large brown eyes.

"I'm sorry." Malik sighed, his shoulders slumped. "I…" The Egyptian broke down sobbing, and buried his head in Ryou's shoulder. The whitenette was in tears himself, tightly embracing the blonde.

"I'm sorry, Malik." Ryou finally managed to regain his composure enough to talk. "I do love you. And I… I was shocked. Why would you do that? Why would you want to kill Bakura? I thought you loved him." Malik lifted his head, blinking away his tears.

"I do." The Egyptian whispered. "But… I love you more, Ryou. So much more. I hated seeing you the way you were. You weren't letting go, and I thought that if Bakura was gone… Then maybe you would…" Ryou closed his eyes as Malik cupped a hand over his jaw.

"I love him so much." Ryou said tearfully. "I-I don't want to let him go… I-I don't want to ever let him go." Malik sighed, resting his forehead against Ryou's. He placed his other hand on Ryou's jaw, so he was supping his smooth, rounded face. "Don't leave me." Ryou begged, his eyes wide and imploring. "Please don't leave me. I-I'll do whatever you want, just don't leave…"

Malik closed his eyes as he kissed Ryou. He placed a soft peck on the lips, before tilting his head slightly, and deepening the kiss. Ryou gasped, tightening his hold on Malik. The Egyptian ran his tongue over Ryou's lower lip, coaxing him to open his mouth. Ryou closed his eyes, and obeyed, parting his soft rose lips and accepting Malik's intrusion. The pair kissed for almost a full minute, before Ryou broke apart for air, resting the back of his head against the concrete, gasping for air.

"I only want your love, Ryou." Malik whispered in Ryou's ear. The sky was dark, the only light coming from amber streetlights far below, and a single yellow bulb on the roof. "Please… That's all I want." Ryou opened his eyes, feeling sick with conflict.

"I…" Ryou started, trying to phrase just how he felt into words. He couldn't. Instead, he took Malik's collar, and pulled him down for another kiss, threading his fingers through soft golden locks.

* * *

"The suns' rising."

Malik mused softly, staring up at the lightening sky. He was leaning against the concrete wall, shivering slightly in the cold. Ryou was pressed into his side, staring up at the sky.

"It's really pretty," Ryou murmured, exhausted. Both of them had been up on that wall all night, just talking. Well, talking, and kissing. They talked about their feelings, about their situation, and especially about Bakura. Gradually, Malik managed to start to convince Ryou that shutting off the life support was the only thing that could be done.

"It is." Malik sighed, looking at the small teenager. "Almost as pretty as you." Ryou giggled as Malik placed a kiss on his fluffy white head. The pale teen sighed, nuzzling Malik's shoulder.

"We should get down." Ryou whispered, taking Malik's hand, and standing up. He yawned, and shivered in the cold. "Ugh… I have school in three hours… Not fun." Malik chuckled. "Hey! Don't laugh!" Ryou pouted cutely, but that only earned another giggle from the Egyptian. "I mean it!"

"Okay." Malik sighed, looping his arms around Ryou's slim waist, and burying his nose in the teens hair. "Forgive me?" Ryou blinked, and lifted his head. He looked into Malik's wide lavender eyes, which were so full of emotion, Ryou thought he might cry.

"I forgive you, Malik." Ryou whispered, tears welling up in his eyes. "For everything."

* * *

"It's the right thing to do, Ryou." Malik whispered, gently rubbing small circles in Ryou's back. The whitenette was sobbing weakly, his head in his hands.

"You would say that…" He whispered softly. Malik sighed, wrapping an arm around Ryou's shoulders. "I… I know he's not going to wake up, but…" He leaved a very long sigh, his shoulders slumping. "I-I should go in." Malik nodded.

"I'll stay out here." The Egyptian whispered. Ryou sniffed, and nodded, walking over to the door, and grasping the handle.

Ryou was sobbing quietly as he entered the dim room. Bakura lay unmoving on the bed, as he always did. The whitenette's hands trembled as he sat down beside the bed, placing a hand on Bakura's forehead. Ryou was almost in a state of shock, as he cleared his throat.

"I… I think Malik's right." He sniffed, murmuring into the silence. "I… It's been seven months, Bakura. Seven months and not one day, not one hour has passed since I haven't thought about you. I swear. I…" Ryou wiped at his eyes, threatening to burst into tears. "I… I ne-never stopped loving you…" The whitenette completely broke down with a low moan, burying his head in Bakura's chest. He sobbed, salty tears slowly starting to soak Bakura's hospital gown. He sat there for a long time, crying and crying into Bakura's chest.

Ryou was so wrapped up in his own grief, that he didn't hear the nurse enter the room. The blonde sighed softly, setting down her clipboard, before rushing to Ryou's side.

"Hey." She said softly, touching Ryou's shoulder. The whitenette gasped at the recognition and contact, and lifted his head. "You okay?" Ryou shook his head, his breath coming out in long, shuddering gasps. "What's wrong?"

"Turn it off." Ryou whispered softly, closing his eyes. His heart felt like it was ripping in two underneath his shirt, and sinking like a rock. The only noise coming from Ryou was the dull, monotonous tone of the machines that kept Bakura alive.

"What?" The blonde blinked, looking down at Ryou, puzzled. The whitenette buried his head in his hands, trying to hard not to cry anymore, but failing.

"The… The l-life support." He finally managed to whisper, keeping his eyes fixed on Bakura's form. "Turn it off…" The nurse gasped.

"Ryou…"

"Turn it off!" Ryou sobbed, clenching his hands into fists. He stared down at Bakura still, sobbing weakly. "I… I can't anymore… I c-can't…" The nurses' eyes were wide in shock.

"Ryou… I… I'm not sure you've thought this through-"

"I have!" Ryou glared up at the nurse. "I've thought about it for seven months! I can't wait anymore… All of this stupid hope… I-I love him so much, but I just can't… I can't anymore." He wiped at his eyes.

"Well…" The nurse sat in the other plastic chair. "Ryou… There's a lot of paperwork to fill out, because technically, Bakura isn't brain-dead. And I think there's a waiting period before we can switch it off, because he's only in a deep coma, not actually on ventilation per say…" Ryou sniffed.

"How long?" He whispered. "H-How long before it can be switched off?" Deep, deep down, though, Ryou knew that he never, ever wanted to switch off the life support and let Bakura go.

"About a month… Three weeks, maybe." The nurse said softly. Ryou burst into tears.

* * *

The pair were getting ready for bed when it started.

Ryou hadn't even started to undress, when Malik, who was as fully clothed as he was, pounced, capturing Ryou's soft mouth in a kiss. The whitenette gasped, as the force of the tackle pushed him onto the bed, Malik crawling over him on all fours.

"Malik." Ryou gasped for air as the Egyptian released his lips. He opened his chocolate eyes, staring into the wide orbs of lavender an inch from his. The whitenette blinked, his fingers entwined in Malik's shaggy hair. He felt Malik's hands on his lower back, under his shirt, supporting him, keeping him upright.

"Hm?" Malik only kissed Ryou on the jaw, softly, starting to work his way down Ryou's throat. The whitenette arched his neck and moaned, closing his eyes. His fingers curled tighter in Malik's hair, and he was panting softly. Malik chuckled, and bit Ryou softly in the juncture of his neck. Ryou yelped, his eyes flying open. Lavender eyes were in front of his face, glittering teasingly.

"M-Malik, I-" The teenager gasped as Malik gently pushed him onto his back, his head resting against the soft pillows. "Oh…" He sighed as Malik's hands moved to his stomach, the Egyptian kissing his neck. "I…"

"Shhh…" Malik whispered, lifting his head to look Ryou in the eye. He gently brushed a silver lock of hair out of Ryou's eyes, before kissing the younger teenager again. Ryou moaned gently as Malik slid his tongue between his lips, gently cupping his soft jawbone. Ryou sank, lax into the mattress. He still felt that this was wrong- Bakura wasn't dead! He was still alive, there was still a chance… _No there's not... Get over it, Ryou, and take what you can get_.

_But... I'm still not ready. _Ryou moaned, his head spinning. He didn't feel ready to love again, not after Bakura. He didn't think he would ever love again, and here Malik was, sticking his tongue down his throat. But it felt _so_ good… Ryou arched his back slightly, Malik straddling his waist as he deepened the kiss. Ryou responded, curling his tongue around Maliks'. His hands slid through the Egyptians sandy locks, and linked his arms around his neck. The pair continued to kiss, breaking apart every few moments to gasp for air.

Ryou's breath hitched in his throat as Malik grabbed the top button of his shirt, and slid the small piece of plastic through the button hole. He raised his eyes up to the Egyptian, unsure. Malik broke away from the kiss, and started on the second button of Ryou's shirt.

"Malik…" Ryou breathed lightly. "I-I don't think I'm…" The whitenette gasped as Malik crushed lips with him again, moaning into the blonde's mouth. Malik continued to fiddle with the buttons on Ryou's shirt, gently caressing the younger teens' mouth with his tongue. Ryou's heart was thudding in his chest from pure nerves, but he returned the kiss. He'd completely forgotten what it had felt like to be touched and kissed the way Malik was kissing him right now. The Egyptian undid the last button on Ryou's shirt, and the whitenette obediently lowered his arms, shrugging out of the shirt. The whitenette gasped as Malik deepened the kiss even further, running his hands over Ryou's chest and stomach. Ryou gasped, and moaned softly, arching his neck. Malik continued to run his hands over Ryou's skin, inwardly overjoyed with himself. He was making out with a half-naked Ryou, who showed no intentions of slowing down just yet. Malik gulped, and grabbed at the hem of his shirt. He started to pull it off, breaking lips with Ryou to yank the shirt over his head.

Ryou leaned into the pillows, his hands resting on Malik's hips. The Egyptian tossed the black shirt over the side of the bed, and leaned over, staring down at Ryou's eyes. The whitenette sighed softly as Malik palmed the side of his face, closing his eyes. Malik leaned down, kissing Ryou on the lips once more. Ryou returned the kiss, sliding his hands up Malik's back. The Egyptian closed his eyes, sliding his hands down Ryou's sides, until they were at the top of his jeans. The whitenette's breath hitched, and he bit down on Malik's lip in surprise. The blonde hissed, but held his ground, his fingers fumbling at the button of Ryou's jeans.

"M-Malik…" Ryou whispered softly as he ducked his head, breaking away from the kiss. "P-Please, I-I'm not ready for this just yet-"

"Ryou." Malik released one of his hands from Ryou's pants, and grabbed his chin. "You're not going to get anymore ready than this. It's been seven months." Ryou opened his mouth to respond, but Malik seized his mouth in a kiss before he could reply. Ryou gasped, and closed his eyes.

"Malik…" He whispered gently, feeling his jeans slide down his thighs. "Please, I-I really don't think I'm ready…" His words were lost as Malik pulled down his own pants, lying fully on top of the teenager. Ryou was… Scared, as the Egyptian hooked his thumbs into the waistband of Ryou's jeans. He did want it… Partly. The guilt ripped through him, but Ryou lay motionless, afraid to retaliate against Malik, afraid to make him angry.

"You're so beautiful." Malik purred, lying on Ryou's stomach. His legs were on both sides of Ryou, his hands on the whitenette's chest. Both were naked, and Ryou gritted his teeth, feeling the Egyptians arousal between his legs.

"Malik…" Ryou whispered, placing his hands on Malik's face. "I… I don't think I can… Bakura…" Malik groaned, and rested his forehead on Ryou's.

"Look." He sighed. "You've accepted Bakura is going to die… You agreed to switch off the life support and everything." Ryou sighed. "Are you scared? I swear I'll be gentle." Ryou shook his head. "No?"

"It's not that, Malik." Ryou sighed softly. "It's Bakura… I-It just doesn't feel right…" Malik groaned in exasperation.

"Ryou." He muttered. "Please. I know you're upset, but you're going to be so happy, don't you realize? I only want to make you happy. A-And this is going to make you happy, I swear." He leaned down, kissing Ryou again. The whitenette gasped, and bit on his lower lip as Malik broke apart. The Egyptian looked down at Ryou silently for a moment, before getting up on all fours, and crawling over to Bakura's bedside table. The only light in the room came from a table lamp, filling the room with a soft, sensual glow. Malik rifled through the drawer, despite a soft squeak of protest from Ryou, until he found the bottle of lubricant. _It's probably expired by now... Oh well, it'll still do the job._

"Wh-What are you doing?" Ryou sat up, and stared at Malik, wide-eyed. The Egyptian shut the drawer, and dropped the bottle of lubricant onto the bed. Ryou licked his lips nervously, and gasped when Malik grabbed his forearms, pushing him onto the bed.

"Shhh…" Malik whispered, straddling Ryou's waist once more. Ryou opened his mouth to protest, but Malik shut him out by kissing him firmly on the lips. Ryou gasped, his slender form shaking. Malik's hands were running across his chest, and down his stomach, his thighs…

Ryou's eyes shot open, and he yelped as Malik's fingers brushed his length. He swallowed deeply, his mouth still being ravaged by Malik's tongue and lips. The blonde chuckled, starting to massage the erogenous area. Ryou moaned softly, allowing a shudder to pass through his thin frame. It felt so _good_… Malik smiled, and shifted his hand to Ryou's hip before the whitenette exploded too soon. Ryou whined softly, gently pulling himself free from Malik's lips and looking into those wide lavender eyes. Both of the teens had been thrown haphazardly across the large bed, nearly every inch of their skin touching.

"M-Malik…" Ryou gasped. He tried to think rationally, but his mind felt as though it had been wrapped in a thick, fuzzy blanket. "I-I d-don't think-"

"Shh…" Malik silenced Ryou with a kiss before he could protest. "Just lie back and relax, Ryou." He murmured, their noses touching. Ryou swallowed, and closed his eyes. Malik reached for the bottle of lubricant above Ryou's head, the movement shifting his hips a little. Ryou arched his neck and moaned as their arousals were crushed together, panting softly. Malik's fingers closed around the small white bottle, and he sat up a little. Ryou's eyes were wide as Malik unscrewed the cap on the bottle, pouring a goodly amount of liquid on three of his fingers. Ryou's heart was thudding painfully in his chest as the Egyptian evenly spread the liquid over those three fingers, and he squeaked as Malik grabbed his ankles.

"M-Malik…." He stuttered, shaking as the blonde placed Ryou's ankles on his shoulders, leaning forward slightly. Ryou closed his eyes, biting hard on his lower lip.

"It's okay…" Malik whispered, his free hand brushing a lock of hair out of Ryou's eyes. Slowly, keeping his lavender orbs' locked with Ryou's, Malik started to slide a lubricated finger inside Ryou's tight passage.

"OW!" Ryou yelped, arching his back. "N-No, M-Malik, stop, that hurts…" He winced as Malik pressed his finger deeper inside of Ryou's sexy ass, blinking back tears.

"Hey…" Malik murmured. "It's okay, Ryou. You haven't slept with anyone in a long time, is all." He continued, a second finger probing Ryou's entrance. Ryou hissed, his hands digging into the blankets. "Just, relax, it's gonna be okay." Ryou moaned, shaking his head slightly. Malik bit his lip, but buried his fingers further inside Ryou's tight passage. He started searching for the sensitive bundle of nerves, gently scissoring his fingers.

"No!" Ryou protested, tears welling in his eyes. "Please, Malik, it hurts too much…" The whitenette looked up at Malik, but the blonde kept his calm expression.

"It's okay, Ryou." He said softly, trying to distract the teenager. He slowly inserted the third finger, Ryou crying out in pain. "Hey, hey…" He whispered, smoothing Ryou's hair with his free hand. "It's okay. It's okay. It's not gonna hurt for too much longer, I swear." Ryou whimpered. He wanted nothing more than Malik to stop his intrusion. Malik dug his three fingers even deeper into Ryou's tight passage, pressing his lips together. Where was it…

Ryou arched his back and moaned as Malik finally managed to find the sweet spot he had been searching for. He shivered, sweat starting to break out on his forehead. Malik smirked softly, starting to gently massage the bundle of nerves. Ryou moaned again, going lax into the mattress. He melted, his arms stretched out above his head, fisting the blankets. Ryou drew his knees up a little, bending his legs. Malik finally withdrew his now-dry fingers from Ryou's tight ass, placing his hands on the mattress on either side of Ryou's head. The whitenette looked up into Malik's eyes, his brown orbs hazy and unfocused.

Malik kissed Ryou again, roughly, and laced with passion. He grabbed the bottle of lubricant again, tipping out the remainder onto his palm. The blonde bit forced back a moan as he started to rub the lubricant onto his arousal, kissing Ryou harder. The whitenette moaned into the choking kiss, closing his eyes. Malik sighed deeply, cupping Ryou's soft, rounded jawbone with his hands and grinding his hips into the pale teenagers'.

All coherent thoughts of Ryou's flew right out the window as Malik kissed him. He'd completely forgotten how _good_ sex had felt. In fact, he'd even forgotten what those feelings racing through him were like. Malik felt Ryou shiver beneath him, and gasped for air as he broke away from the kiss. Malik slid his hands down from Ryou's face, caressing his shoulders, his chest, his stomach and hips. Ryou gasped, and tightened his legs, which at this point were around Malik's waist. The Egyptian raised himself a little, placing his hands on Ryou's rear so he could spread those soft round cheeks a little. Malik positioned himself at Ryou's entrance, and the whitenette gasped as he felt the tip of Malik's length press just inside him, twisting his fingers in the duvet. Malik gasped, shifting his hands to Ryou's hips. Ryou arched his back and moaned, the old, familiar pain crackling up his spine. Malik bit his lip as he pushed himself deeper inside of Ryou, the whitenette writhing and panting beneath him.

Ryou moaned, his fingers tangling in Malik's hair as he continued to bury himself painfully in Ryou's tight heat. It _hurt_, but at the same time, it felt so good… Ryou arched his neck, unwittingly inviting Malik to nibble on the soft, sensitive skin. The Egyptian did so, biting his lip on the juncture of his throat. Ryou cried out, a sound which turned into a fresh moan as Malik pushed himself further inside of Ryou, until he was finally buried to the hilt. Malik kissed along Ryou's throat until he found the pale teens lips. He roughly pushed his tongue past those soft, rose lips, and withdrew himself a little from Ryou's tight heat. The whitenette screamed as Malik thrust himself inside him, arching his neck. The caramel-coloured teen bit his lip, but repeated the motion, his hands pressing down on Ryou's hips, pinning him to the bed.

He was gentler this time, pressing his throbbing member inside of Ryou, but it still hurt. The teenager yelped inside Malik's mouth, their tongues entwined. Ryou was unused to this physical contact, after months of no sex, and he felt awkward, slightly. His nails dug into the tattooed skin on Malik's back, and he yelped as Malik thrust inside him again, moaning into Ryou's mouth. The blonde kept the pace slow, and soft, adjusting himself to Ryou's tight, sensitive passage. Ryou panted, detaching his lips from Maliks to take huge, heaving gulps of air. He stared into Maliks lavender eyes, which were clouded in lust. Ryou's lips were parted, and his breath hitched as Malik slammed into again, harder this time. His eyes were clenched shut, and he opened them a moment later, tightening his legs around Malik's lean waist. The blonde groaned as Ryou dragged his nails across his back, blood clinging to his pale, but sharp, nails.

"F-Fuck." Malik swore, working himself into a rhythm, thrusting inside Ryou. His hands tightened on Ryou's bony hips, gritting his teeth as his chest rubbed against Ryou's with each push. Ryou's back was arched, his arms and legs tight around Malik. The blonde ground himself into Ryou's arousal with each thrust, and each time he did, Ryou was pushed closer, and closer to the edge. Malik roughly kissed Ryou again and again, breaking apart every few seconds for air. Ryou moaned every time Malik drove his shaft inside of him, pleasuring that sweet spot hidden deep inside his tight heat.

Malik moaned, and started to speed his motions, thrusting inside Ryou faster. He so _needed _to take Ryou fast and hard… Ryou yelped, panting and writhing as Malik drove himself inside the whitenette harder with each thrust. His fingers were woven into Malik's hair, and he arched his neck further. Malik kissed and bit on the skin without hesitation, groaning every time he crushed himself against Ryou. The pale teenager whined, dangerously close to going over the edge. He bit his lip, drawing a little blood, tightening his hands in Maliks hair so hard, his scalp was yanked. Malik hissed, and realizing how close Ryou was, he grabbed Ryou's hips, his breathing harsh and ragged as he slammed into Ryou, over and over with a rough, animalistic rate.

Ryou actually ripped out a few strands of Malik's hair as he came. He screamed, every muscle in his body going rigid as he exploded in pleasure. The wave of ecstasy swept up his torso and arms, and down his toes, but was strongest at his middle. Ryou felt dizzy as he experienced his orgasm, coating his and Malik's stomach with semen. Ryou moaned, his voice hoarse as he slumped into the mattress, lax. Malik was still thrusting inside of Ryou as hard as he could, and hearing Ryou scream, and feeling his already hot, tight passage become even hotter and tighter around his arousal was too much. Malik slumped into Ryou as he orgasmed, burying his head in whitenette's shoulder, slick with sweat. Ryou's arms and legs slid from Malik, and onto the mattress, his chest heaving as he panted. Malik's hands were still on Ryou's hips, and they clenched even tighter on the bones as he exploded, filling Ryou's abused passage with his fluids. Ryou moaned as the sensation started to fade, and the unpleasant burning sensation in his rear flared up. Malik bit his lip, withdrawing himself from Ryou, and weakly wrapping his arms around Ryou's neck.

"F-Fuck." He repeated in a soft mumble, his head spinning. "Th-That was…" _Amazing. Everything I thought it would be, and better. I am so lucky_… Ryou sighed, his entire form trembling beneath Malik.

"Mmmm…" He moaned, closing his eyes. He felt so _exhausted_… Ryou nuzzled the mattress softly, already drifting off into sleep.

"Do you always go straight to sleep after sex?" Malik murmured, perched on Ryou's chest. He looked into those soft brown eyes, which were only half open, and the teenager groaned.

"Tired." Ryou mumbled, sniffing gently. Malik smiled slightly, and rolled off of Ryou. He lay lax in the mattress for a moment, before he was able gain enough strength to sit up. He crawled over to the head of the bed, and pulled back the blankets, although he was still flushed and sweaty.

"Come on, Ryou…" He sighed, looking over at the teen. Ryou moaned, burying his head into the mattress. Malik sighed again, and crawled back over to the whitenette. He practically dragged Ryou back up to the head of the bed, the teenager almost asleep. Malik chuckled as he tucked Ryou under the blankets. He slid between the sheets himself, holding the slender body close to him. A tanned arm reached out, and snapped off the lamp on the bedside table, bathing the room in darkness.

"I love you, Ryou." Malik whispered softly, his chin on top of Ryou's head. Ryou moaned softly, snuggling into the warm body clutching him close. The whitenette was already in a slumber, blissfully unaware of what he had just done.

He had no idea how guilty he would feel when he woke up.

* * *

Hehehehehehe... Lemon! Been a while since I wrote one of those muahaha.

R&R!


	11. Chapter 11

Heyyyyyy

I'm horribly depressed now... WHITE ANGEL CHAN? WHYYYYY?

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

As soon as Ryou was awake, he felt guilty.

He curled up into a small ball under the covers, on his side. His arms were around his knees, his head bent as far as it could go. Malik had tried everything he could to rise the teen out of his funk, but nothing worked. It was fifteen minutes before he gave up, rolling over to his side, and standing up.

"Ryou," He whispered softly, staring at the huddled lump under the covers. "Look. There's no reason for you to feel bad like this. Bakura… He's gone. You've accepted that. You're going to let him die." Malik pulled on his boxers, before walking around the bed, and sitting onto the edge of the bed. He placed a hand on the thin form, biting on his lower lip in thought. "Ryou please… You have to go to school soon, you realize?" The teenager was silent, and still. "Do you want me to say I'm sorry?" Malik gently took the edge of the blanket, and tried to pull it over Ryou's head. The whitenette held onto the blanket firmly, resisting. The Egyptian sighed, and stood up. He turned around, running a hand through his sandy locks. "Fine, Ryou." He muttered, exasperated. "Stay in your room and hide under the blankets. But damnit, you enjoyed last night as much as I did, and if you say otherwise, then you're lying to the both of us." He walked out of the room, without bothering to get his other clothes. Malik slammed the door behind him, and then ran into the guest room. It was a light, sunny room, with lemon-coloured walls, and matching white furniture.

"Fuck…" Malik sighed, leaning against the closed door, and shutting his eyes. _"Fuck!"_ He repeated, louder. He placed his head in his hands, swearing. Malik sank to the floor, gritting his teeth. This wasn't the way things were supposed to be! Ryou was supposed to be happy about them expressing their love! He wasn't supposed to be depressed and upset…

He wasn't ever going to get over Bakura, Malik realized as he stared at the floor. Ryou would never be able to love anyone else. That last night was a total fluke. And even so, Ryou was begging for Malik to stop, at least for the first part. Malik looked up, leaning his head against the door. _I can't push Ryou. He still feels guilty... He's gonna keep feeling guilty, even when Bakura's dead and buried, Ryou's gonna carry this guilt. _Malik let out a long sigh, biting his lip.

_I think... I think I might have to let it go..._

OoOoO

"Why don't ya have any food, Bakura?"

The talking of the other three teenagers stopped, and Ryou froze. Four pairs of eyes looked at him, finally realizing that the whitenette had no tray in front of him. Unused to the attention on him, Ryou blushed, and looked down.

"W-Well…" He stammered, his breath hitching in his throat. His stomach churned unpleasantly, despite being empty. "I-I'm not that hungry…"

"Really?" Jounouchi eyes Ryou's skinny frame. "Bakura, if I were as thin as you, I would be eating all the time…"

"That's because you're a pig." Honda remarked.

"Hey!" A fight between the two ensued, utensils flying. Ryou jerked away with a gasp, Anzu ducked, and Yugi tried his best to break the pair up.

"Are you an anorexic?" The fight died immediately at Anzu's words. Yugi, Jounouchi, and Honda, all turned to Ryou with wide eyes. Ryou's mouth fell open slightly, his eyes widening to the size of saucers.

"_No!_" He gasped, shaking his head from side to side. "No, no no. I-I mean, I was trying to lose a little weight, but that was months ago, before Ba- The spirit of the ring had his… Accident." Ryou let out a long sigh. "I-I feel really sick…" He mumbled, closing his eyes.

"Bakura… What's wrong? There's something you're not telling us, I know." Ryou chewed on his lower lip, twisting his fingers together.

"I-I… I can't." Ryou pushed his chair back, staring at the floor. "I-I…" He looked and felt like a fish out of water. Ryou held his hands over his face, and let out a long, low moan. "Please…"

"Bakura." Jounouchi said quickly, noticing how quick Ryou was to completely breaking down. "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to, you know." He exchanged a momentary glance towards Yugi, before breaking his gaze. Ryou sniffed, his shoulders shaking.

"Must be bad." Yugi only whispered the words, just loud enough for Jounouchi to hear. The blonde inclined his head in a slight nod, keeping his eyes trained on Ryou.

"I… I'm turning it off." Ryou finally lifted his head, his face streaked with tears. Jounouchi's eyebrows furrowed in a frown, and he bit on his lower lip.

"Turn it off… Wait… What… You mean the life support?" Jounouchi's coffee-coloured orbs widened in shock. "No…"

"Yes." Ryou whispered, threatening to burst into tears again. "I can't… It's been so long. There's nothing else I can do anymore, Jou. The chances are less than one percent… I can't. I love him. I-I love him so much, but I can't keep putting myself through this." Ryou wiped at his eyes. "I-I know it sounds selfish, but-"

"Don't." Yugi said abruptly. Ryou blinked. "Bakura… You have to think about it. Like you said, it's been nine months. Were you going to let the spirit stay in limbo for the rest of his life, and yours?" Ryou looked down, biting his lip. "Maybe it is time for you to move on."

"I know." Ryou murmured, sounding and feeling very small. "But I don't want to… It's so hard to explain… But I can't think of him buried… Being underground, when I can't see him every day…" He sniffed. "It's so hard, just thinking about it."

"Hey…" Jounouchi sighed. "Bakura, if you don't wanna do it, then you don't have to, you know that." Ryou let out a long, shuddering sigh.

"I… Organized it a couple of days ago." Ryou murmured gently. "They're turning it off in about three weeks… It gives me a bit of time to, you know, get ready for it all…" The whitenette bowed his head, clasping his hands tight.

"It's okay, Bakura." Yugi said kindly. He locked eyes with Jounouchi again. "We're behind you, whatever you do."

* * *

Malik sighed as he gently closed the bedroom door behind him. Ryou was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down on the floor. Malik bit his lip as he approached the teen, sitting on the edge of the bed beside the teenager.

"Hey." Malik said gently, turning his head gently to look at Ryou. The whitenette sighed, his expression mournful. "You okay?" He gently brushed his fingers along Ryou's shoulders, the teenager shivering slightly.

"Yeah." Ryou breathed gently, his hands twisted together in his lap. Malik slid his hand down Ryou's spine, Ryou arching his back, just a little. "Tired." He whispered, closing his eyes. Malik started applying slightly more pressure onto Ryou's back, working the muscles with his palm and fingertips.

"Yeah?" He asked, gently starting to rub Ryou's back with his left hand. He shifted slightly on the bed until he was sitting behind Ryou, his legs crossed. "Long day?" He started massaging Ryou's back with both hands, focusing on his shoulders.

"Mmm." Ryou groaned in appreciation, lolling his neck to one side. "That feels really good, Malik…" The Egyptian grinned, massaging Ryou's shoulders gently. The whitenette moaned, his back lax. "Lie down if you want, and I'll get it really good." Ryou nodded, and settled back on the bed, before rolling onto his stomach. He rested his head on the pillow, closing his eyes. Malik straddled Ryou's thighs, and leaned forward, starting with Ryou's tense shoulders.

"You've always given really good massages." Ryou mumbled gently, sinking into the soft bed. "It's so relaxing…" Malik smiled, and continued his massage.

"Thanks." He said softly, enjoying the way he felt Ryou under his back. Before Malik had the pleasure of sleeping with Ryou, of exploring every inch of his beautiful body, he always jumped at the chance of being intimate with Ryou, who was as naïve as ever. Malik had always longed to be close with Ryou as much as possible. Not that now was any different…

"Mmm…" Ryou moaned gently, burying his face into the pillow. "That's _so_ good, Malik." The Egyptian let out a long sigh, moving his hands in sync along Ryou's back. "Oh…" Ryou sighed. It were as though the stress and anguish of the day faded along with the tense muscles, soothed by Malik's tanned hands. The blonde bit his lip, enjoying the soft moans and sighs that issued against his lips.

"Like it?" Malik smirked, applying more pressure on Ryou's back. The whitenette gasped, and then smiled, nuzzling the pillow. "I'll take that as a yes." He muttered, lowering his hands just a little more. The blonde now worked on the small of Ryou's back, closing his eyes. Malik continued his massage, prolonging it as much as he could. Ryou moaned gently, almost asleep.

"Oh." Malik muttered ten minutes later. He lifted his leg over Ryou, and perched on the bed, staring at the teenager, who's eyes were closed. Malik sighed as he slid his hands underneath the teen, his deft fingers searching for Ryou's button. He found it, and slid the button though it's hole. Ryou made no movement as Malik unzipped his jeans, and slowly, gently lowered them without disturbing the whitenette. After that, the Egyptian crawled to the end of the bed, and lifted the folded blanket. He gently dragged it over Ryou's sleeping form, and smoothed the wrinkles out. Ryou sighed in his sleep, but didn't move. The smile on Malik's face was almost sad as he leaned down and kissed Ryou's forehead. He drew back, staring down at the sweet, angelic face.

"Night, Ryou." Malik pulled back the blankets. He stripped down to his boxers, and slid between the sheets. He curled up beside Ryou, resting his forehead against the whitenette's. "Sweet dreams."

* * *

It was very late.

The nurse let out a long sigh, staring back down at her paperwork. She cast a gaze over to Bakura for a moment, catching a glimpse of his vital signs. The desk was only a few feet from his bed, stacked with various forms and sheets.

"What a Sunday night." She sighed gently to herself, reaching for a fresh pen (the other had run out). The only answer was the soft beep of machines. "Coma patients are surprisingly silent." The nurse remarked dryly. "I don't even know why I'm here…" She sighed, setting down the pen, and now staring straight at the still form of Bakura. "They're shutting off the ventilator in the week…" She continued to rest her chin on her hands, gazing thoughtfully at Bakura.

His eyelids twitched.

The nurse froze, sitting straight up. Her eyes widened, and her mouth fell open. _No_… She flung her chair back and stood up, all but running over to the gurney. She leaned over Bakura's still face, staring at him intently.

It happened again. Bakura's eyelids fluttered, just a little, as his eyelids flickered. The nurse gasped, and took a step back. She held a hand over her mouth, shaking her head. Almost nine months of total inactivity, of zero response, and now this? She took another step back, before grabbing the phone with a shaking hand. She dialed the number for the nurses' desk, her fingers trembling.

"He-Hello?" Her voice shook. "I need a doctor in here. _Now_."

* * *

"This is amazing."

Bakura flinched, and moaned as the point of the pen was pushed firmly into his forearm. The doctor stared down at Bakura, and the two nurses exchanged looks.

"How long has he been active for now?" The doctor asked, grabbing his tiny torch. The blonde nurse looked over towards the clock.

"Well… It's 5AM." She said thoughtfully. "So… Four and a half hours." The doctor nodded, pulling back one of Bakura's eyelids, and shining the light in his eye. All three watched as the pupil dilated, the small black dot surrounded by a ring of crimson. The doctor removed his hold on Bakura's eye, and the yami returned to his silent state.

"Rapid Eye Movement." The doctor blinked. "And he's reacting to light and pain."

"Ryou." The blonde bit her lip. The other two turned to her, confused. "Oh… I'm thinking about his fiancée." She explained. "We have to tell him-"

"No." The doctor said firmly. "Not yet. Don't tell anyone until he wakes up. We don't wane people getting their hopes up." The other two nodded. "Okay. Good." He took a step away from the bed. "I want twenty-four hour supervision." The brunette opened her mouth. "I mean _supervision_." He muttered. "Don't take his eyes off of him. Contact me… Or another doctor if I'm not rostered on… If he makes any progress." The brunette nodded. The blonde couldn't help but smile, staring down at Bakura. His lips moved, just a little, in a silent, unspoken word.

* * *

"I can't sleep."

Ryou sighed as he sat up, staring over at the alarm clock. 5AM. Although he was dog-tired, having lain awake until after twelve, Ryou couldn't sleep. He felt… Restless.

His forearm ached.

Ryou blinked, rubbing at his right forearm. It felt a little like being stabbed, but more… Blunt. Ryou bit his lip. Random aches and pains were nothing to him, though, so he shrugged it off. The whitenette drew his knees up to his chest, biting his lip. _One week... One more week until I have to say goodbye to Bakura for ever. I-I don't think I can say goodbye just yet. I feel like it's just too soon..._ Tears threatened to spill from Ryou's eyes, but he pushed them away. Ryou raised his eyes to the window, through the open curtains. Dawn was beginning to streak along the sky. Ryou sighed, and looked over to his bedside table. On an impulse, he reached over, and snapped on the light. Malik, sleeping beside him, was deep in slumber. Trying to be as quiet as he could, Ryou opened his drawer, and grabbed his journal. He opened the journal to the current page, and picked up his pen. His tongue between his teeth, Ryou began to write.

_15th April._

_I think this week is going to really be hell for me. It's sort of a countdown now. I'm counting down the days until Bakura does. And I don't want Bakura to die. I really, really, really don't want to. Of course I don't want to. I love him. Bakura's the only person I have ever loved. I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him. Sure, Malik's sweet, but he's not Bakura. He want ever be close. Bakura... He's so much more loving than Malik. In his own way. No one will ever understand what we had. Malik doesn't understand at all. It was never just about the sex, it ran so much deeper than that. It's so hard to try and explain to anyone. It's like... He has this image, that he's a cruel and evil person. And he is a cruel and evil person. But not to me. Originally he was, I would agree to that. He beat me and raped me freely. But I managed to forgive him. I guess my love for him was just too strong. Of course it was. Nothing will ever stand between us._

_Except death._

_But that doesn't mean I won't stop loving him. I'm terrified about burying Bakura, about committing him to the earth. Whenever I think about that happening, I just freeze up. I know that he's not really alive even now, but at least I can go and see him, at least I can hold his hand and give him a kiss and talk to him. I can't do that if he's buried._

_If I didn't have Malik here with me, I don't know what I would do. He's really been my rock. I don't know if what I feel for him is really love. He makes me smile, he's so sweet to me... Who knows, maybe we might end up settling down together, despite his constant moving._

_I'm already thinking about life without Bakura. It's so insane. Then again, I haven't had a life with Bakura for almost nine months. Going down to the hospital for an hour or so every day doesn't count. Not like living with him. Not sharing a bed with him and loving him… Not like having those special private moments with him..._

_Is it wrong for me to miss the sex? Because I do. Bakura's way, way different to Malik. He's better, definitely. Not that I have anything to compare to, but I think he's wonderful. I feel kind of guilty about missing Bakura's sex. I feel like I'm settling for Malik. Am I? If Bakura were here, lying next to me in bed, I would never even look at Malik that way. Sure, I might have a stupid teenager crush, but that would be it. _

_I slept with Malik._

_Nothing can ever undo that. I slept with him. I cheated on Bakura. He's still alive... Malik knows that... Why couldn't he have waited just a little?_

_No. I can't pin this on Malik, That's not fair. It's my fault just as much as his. I wanted it. Part of me did want it. Why else just I just sit there and take it? If I begged enough, he would have stopped. If I'd fought or pushed him, he wouldn't have pushed me into it. I can't try and skip past that. I wanted it. I wanted Malik to sleep with me. Maybe... Maybe it's more than just a teenaged crush. Maybe I love him. After Bakura's buried, and I give it a little time, I might sleep with him again. I might settle down with him. Maybe even go back to Egypt when Bakura's buried..._

_I don't know. I hate the thought of Bakura lying in the ground. And I couldn't ever leave him. Maybe I should look into cremation. I could get a nice urn and keep Bakura on the mantelpiece, and have a photo next to it... Heh. Like a dead cat or something. I hate to have to think about any of it. Bakura dying... It doesn't seem real. I don't want it to seem real. I just want to wake up and find out that the past nine months have been one long horrific dream. Please, please God, just let me wake up and realize it's all a sick dream. Please... You have to spare him. I know Bakura's done a lot of wrong. I know that he deserves to die, but You've taken away my mother and sister already... And essentially, my father too. Can I not just have this one bit of happiness? Is this because I'm on love with a man? I know it's wrong in Your eyes, but I can't help how I feel... Can I? I've been praying for him every night, even though he doesn't have any faith... I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I'm scared and alone..._

_I should stop writing now, my hand's cramping up and there's tearstains all over the place. _

Ryou sniffed as he closed the book, drawing his knees up tighter and resting his head on them. After a long time, Ryou lifted his head, looking over to the clock. Almost seven.

"I better get up…"

* * *

The nurse flicked her gaze constantly from the paper to Bakura, and back again. True, it was a slow process to get _anything_ done, but she was absolutely not allowed to stray her eyes from Bakura for more than a second.

The mid-afternoon sun streaked through the windows, lighting up the room. Bakura moaned gently, and the nurse froze, peering over the yami. It had been over twelve hours since Bakura first moved, and he was becoming more and more active every second. He was waking up. Or so the nurse dared to hope.

She stared at Bakura doe a moment, before looking back to the sheet of paper. She filled out the film, chewing on her lower lip thoughtfully. It was another, louder moan that drew the nurse back into Bakura. She frowned, leaning over Bakura. The white-haired yami frowned slightly, his eyelashes fluttering.

He never frowned before…

The nurse groped at the pager at her waist, keeping her eyes trained on Bakura. One finger twitched. Her eyes widened even more. Bakura's head tilted to one side slightly as he groaned again, his hands clutching the sheets. The nurse stood up, the forms fluttering to the floor. She held a hand over her mouth as Bakura let out a long sigh, tightened his hands on the sheets,

And opened his eyes.

* * *

Hehehehehehehe. Kura liiiiiiiives! Ohh the drama. XD

R&R!


	12. Chapter 12

Heyy... Update, yeah whatever...

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

"Bakura?" The nurse bent down, not even breaking her gaze when she heard the others rush into the room. She peered into the yami's crimson eyes, which were open just a crack. "Can you hear me?" Bakura only groaned, and buried his head into the pillow. "Bakura… I need to know if you can hear me."

"Piss off." Bakura moaned weakly, his words slightly slurred. The nurse blinked, before reaching out, gently shaking Bakura's shoulder. "Piss off…" He repeated, an edge of anger to his voice.

"Bakura…" She said gently. "Do you know where you are at all?" Bakura merely rolled over, ignoring the tube in his arm, pulling the sheets over his head. He was so tired… He felt like he'd just gone and slept for a hundred years or something. It was not like awakening from the ring, after millennia of remaining dormant, but on a smaller scale.

"In bed." Bakura managed to mumble, trying to burrow under the sheets. It was too early, he wanted to go back to sleep… "Go 'way… Lemme sleep…" The nurse looked up, locking eyes with the doctor.

"Bakura." The doctor tried, grabbing at the hem of the blanket and pulling it from Bakura's face. The yami shut his eyes against the bright light, groaning. "You are in Domino General Hospital. You've been in a coma."

"What?" Bakura shakily rubbed at his eyes, before opening his crimson orbs properly. He stared up at the doctor, blinking in confusion.

"There was a car accident. Do you remember?" Bakura frowned, trying to wrack his brains. "It was about one AM… Friday? You were very intoxicated…"

"I remember." Bakura groaned. He rubbed at his forehead, feeling like a zombie. "There was a car… Bright lights and Malik pushed me over. Then I hit my head really hard…" Bakura froze. "Wait… Coma? I've been in a fucking coma?" Bakura paled as he weakly propped himself up on his elbows. "But… But…" He was in shock. "How long?" He finally managed to gasp, looking up at the doctor. _Please don't say it's like, ten years or something stupid like that._

"Nine months." The doctor said heavily. Bakura was motionless for a moment, silent and unmoving. Then, he simply flopped back onto the mattress, staring up at the ceiling.

"You're kidding." He finally muttered, in obvious shock. "You have to be… I… Nine _months?_" Bakura closed his eyes. "No." He muttered.

"Bakura-"

"No!" Bakura rolled over, pulling the blanket up over his head. "You're lying! Piss off… All of you, just piss off." He closed his eyes. Although he wouldn't admit it, Bakura felt shattered. He just wanted to lie down and go right back to sleep… But more than that, he wanted Ryou. Here he was, woken up in a strange place that he didn't know, confused and alone. _Why isn't Ryou here?_

"I want Ryou." Bakura's voice was small, and muffled beneath the sheets, but the nurse heard him. She nodded, glancing at the doctor again.

"Of course you do." She said gently. "He's in school right now, but I'll go and arrange for someone to call Domino High and we'll get hold of him, and he'll be right over here, okay?" Bakura nodded slightly, his head still under the sheet.

* * *

Ryou couldn't concentrate.

He'd given up on copying the History notes on the board, and settled on doodling in the margin of his notebook. Although his teacher had come past a few times, and noticed his notes –or lack of- She didn't say anything. After all, the headmaster thought it seemed fit to alert _all _of Ryou's teachers about the dramas of his personal life.

"Bakura, Ryou." The teenager gasped, and jumped. He cast an eye over to the teacher, but it was evidently not her. _The intercom._ "Bakura Ryou, could you please come to the head office?"

"Ooooooohhh…" Twenty pairs of heads turned, staring at the white-haired teenager. Ryou blinked, looking like a deer in the headlights.

"I-I didn't do anything!" The teen protested weakly to the teacher, who merely shrugged.

"I know." She said smoothly. "Now, off Bakura. Take your things." Ryou bit his lip, and lowered his eyes. His hands shook as he packed everything away and placed it into his school back, walking out of the room. He felt all of their eyes on him as he left the classroom, and closed the door behind him. Ryou started to walk down the corridor, nothing short of confused. Why did they want him? Was he in trouble? Had he done something very good? Ryou's marks had plummeted in the recent months- He was even looking at repeating the year, his work had been so bad since Bakura-

_Bakura._

The thought hit Ryou like a ton of bricks. Ryou's knees were weak, and he placed one hand on the wall, leaning on it to steady himself. _No. He wasn't... No._ What if Bakura had died? What If that was why they wanted him? Ryou closed his eyes, starting to cry. It never occurred to him that Bakura had woken up- It was just unthinkable after so long. Ryou leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. _No. Please God, don't let it be that. Please, please please **please**..._

"Bakura?" Ryou blinked, and spun around. Surprisingly, Jounouchi stood a few feet away from him. "Why aren't you in class? Is this about the intercom announcement?" Ryou nodded dumbly. "You know what it's about?" Ryou nodded his head, his heart thudding. "Really?" The blonde took a step towards him. "What?"

"I-It's…" Ryou tried to speak, but failed. Jounouchi watched, wide-eyed as the whitenette started to cry. Ryou's bag fell to the floor as he buried his face in his hands. It _couldn't _be…

"Woa!" Jounouchi rushed to Ryou's side, placing a hand on the whitenette's rounded shoulder. "Bakura… What's wrong? What is it?"

"Wh-What…" Ryou struggled to control his voice. "What if it's from the hospital?" Jounouchi blinked, unsure for a moment, before Ryou's fear struck him.

"Oh…" He muttered. "_Oh."_ Ryou tried to control his sobs, but failed. "But… Bakura.. You don't know yet, do you?" Ryou shook his head. "Then don't be down… Maybe they're calling to say he woke up."

"Sure." Ryou muttered weakly. "Because people just miraculously wake up from a coma after nine months…" Jounouchi sighed.

"Well… I mean, it does happen, doesn't it?" He tried to be consoling. "Look… You're never gonna know until you go up to that office." Jounouchi bent down, picking up Ryou's case. "Come on. I'll help ya, okay?" Ryou nodded weakly, wiping at the saline water on his face. "Cool."

"By the way, Jou…" Ryou asked carefully as he was being led down the corridor. "Why are _you_ out of class?" Jounouchi shrugged.

"Eh. Bathroom."

* * *

"Ryou." The headmaster said warmly as Ryou tentatively closed the door behind him. The whitenette blinked. "Sit down." Ryou nodded dumbly, taking a seat in the hard wooden chair. Jounouchi waited outside, with his school bag. "Well, you must be wondering why on earth you're here… Am I right?"

"Yes, sir." Ryou said softly, staring down at his knees. _Bakura's dead, Bakura's dead. Oh gosh, Bakura's dead._

"We received a call from Domino Hospital, about twenty minutes ago, Ryou. Regarding this Bakura." Ryou bowed his head further, trying his hardest to fight back tears. "Hey." The headmaster muttered, hating to see any of his students so upset. "Why are you so upset, Ryou?" The teenager lifted his head, wiping at the tear tracks on his face.

"He's dead." Ryou whispered, biting on his lip. "He-He's-"

"No." The headmaster cut on before Ryou had a chance to completely break down. The teenager blinked.

"What…"

"Ryou…" The man sighed, surveying Ryou over his glasses. "Bakura is very much alive… In fact, the call we received from Domino Hospital is a confirmation of this. He's woken up."

Ryou fainted.

* * *

Ryou groaned as he slowly woke up. There was a bright light shining in his eyes, one that wouldn't even go away as he blinked repeatedly. The teenager frowned, turning his head away from the light. He was on a couch…

"Ryou?" He heard a male voice quite close to him. The whitenette lifted his head slightly, opening his eyes fully. His headmaster was peering over him in concern. "You passed out… Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Ryou groaned, rubbing at his eyes. He managed to sit up, and yawned. "How long was I… Out… For…" _Oh God_. The reason _why_ he'd passed out hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Oh, just about ten minutes. Ryou… Are you sure you're fine? Do you want to go the nurses office?" Ryou's eyes were wide as he sat on the couch, his hands shaking.

_Bakura was awake._

It just wasn't possible. It couldn't be! Bakura had been in a coma for nine months, no one was able to wake up after so long! His principal was lying to him. He had to be. Ryou shook his head, starting to cry.

"Wh-Why are you lying?" Ryou whispered, burying his face on his hands. "He-he's dead… You just don't want to tell me…" The headmaster shook his head, confused.

"No, Ryou… Do you _want _him to be dead?" Ryou lifted his head, outraged.

"_No!"_ He gasped. "_Never!_ If we woke up, I would be the happiest person in the world!" The headmaster shrugged.

"Then you're the happiest person in the world. Ryou, I'm not lying to you. He woke up." Ryou stared into space, his chin trembling.

"Really?" He gasped. The principal nodded. Ryou stood up, holding his hands over his mouth. "Oh… Oh my…" His heart felt lighter than a feather. _Bakura was awake._ The man he loved more than anyone else in the world… Awake.

"Yes, I- Woa!" His eyes were wide as Ryou hugged him tightly for a moment. "Ryou, that's not legal-"

"He's awake." Ryou started laughing as he stood back. "He-He…" He gasped for air between his giggles. He was just so_ happy! _"He's awake." Ryou breathed, tears welling in his eyes. "_Jounouchi!"_ The principal blinked as Ryou flung open the door to his office, and ran into the reception room.

Jounouchi jumped, and looked up from the extremely dull magazine he was leafing through, staring at Ryou. His shoulders were shaking, and there were tears in Ryou's eyes.

"Bakura…" He murmured softly. "I'm so sorry.." Ryou shook his head, grinning widely. Jounouchi blinked when he realized that Ryou was laughing, not crying.

"He's awake!" Ryou gasped. "Bakura woke up! He… He…" Ryou didn't know what to do with himself. There was no word in any language he knew (And he knew a _lot)_ that described just how ecstatic he was. Bakura was awake. His love. The person who lit his soul on fire was truly alive again. Ryou felt like laughing and crying and dancing and jumping for joy, but he settled for hugging Jounouchi tightly. The blonde blinked, and gasped, sure his lungs were being crushed as Ryou embraced him tightly.

"That's great." There was a tiny, forced smile on Jounouchi's face as he looked down at Ryou. He wasn't really listening to the teen- He was more preoccupied about the self-confessed gay teenager who was hugging him tightly.

"Sorry." Ryou muttered, blushing deeply as he stood back. "I-I… I'm just so _happy!" _Ryou giggled, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. "Bakura's awake… Bakura's awake…" He repeated the words like a mantra, closing his eyes.

"That's…" Jounouchi's tiny, fake smile dissolved into a genuine grin. "That's awesome Bakura. Really." He stared at Ryou, who was giddy in his joy.

"I… I need to sit down." He murmured gently, sinking into the sofa. "Everything feels really funny… All shaky."

"You're in shock." Jounouchi blinked, and shifted his gaze from Ryou to the headmaster. "Oh!" He gasped. "Uhh… Sir. I don't mean to be out of class, I just… Ran into Bakura, and he was really upset…"

"Back to class, Jounouchi." He surveyed the blonde over his glasses. "I'll arrange Bakura's father to come pick him up and take him to the hospital." Jounouchi blinked.

"Eh? But Bakura's Dad doesn't l-"

"He's on business." Ryou blurted out, his chocolate eyes wide in panic. "A trip in Greece… But he's coming back this weekend. Until then my friend is staying with me. He's nineteen."

"Can he give you a ride to the hospital?" The headmaster pressed. "I'll need to see a license, I can't let you leave in a car like that." Ryou nodded, fiddling with his sleeve. He shot Jounouchi a quick look, that clearly meant _keep your mouth shut and play along._

"I'm uh, off." Jounouchi nodded just slightly to Ryou, and turned, leaving the office. Ryou's heart thudded painfully in his chest, and he felt as though he was high. _Bakura was awake._

It was like the best news Ryou had ever had.

* * *

"This is great." Ryou giggled, leaning against the black leather of the interior. "This… This is just so so so great." Malik was silent, tightly gripping the steering wheel. "Bakura… He's awake." No matter how many times Ryou repeated those words, it just didn't seem real. How could it? Bakura had been in a coma for so long, it was unthinkable, to have him awake, to have him happy and smiling…

_What about brain damage?_

Ryou felt as though he had been hit by a truck. He'd never thought of that. For the past months, Ryou had been intensely studying brain damage in general, trying to figure out what he could be expecting when Bakura woke up. It was heartbreaking. Bakura's speech could be impaired, he could be blind, he could have forgotten everything…

The teenager shook his head, and bit his lip. _No. Don't think about it. Bakura's going to be fine. Even if he is brain damaged, it might only be something little, like some memory loss or lack of concentration. I need to look on the bright side for once._

"It's great." Malik muttered weakly, staring straight ahead of him. "Really." Ryou blinked, and turned his head to look Malik in the eye.

"You… You don't think so, do you." Ryou said gently. "Malik… It's Bakura! You know how much I love him!"

"So you're just throwing me aside like I'm some piece of garbage, huh?" Malik turned and glared at Ryou. "It doesn't matter about how I feel-"

"It's _Bakura!"_ Tears started welling up in Ryou's eyes. "I love him, Malik! I love him so, so much! Why on earth can't you just be happy for me?"

"Because I love you!" Malik's voice caught in his throat, but he brushed the tears away. "I want to be with you, Ryou! I-I can't believe that you're just going to pretend that what we did never happened-"

"I have to!" Ryou tried his hardest not to cry. "I love Bakura, Malik! I love him so much! And yeah, if he hadn't have woken up, then I would have ended up with you. But there's no choice, Malik. You know that." Malik shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes.

"No…"

"I'm sorry, Malik, really." Ryou's voice broke, and he looked away. "but it's Bakura. I love him so much. Please, can't you just be happy for us? I-If you loved me, then wouldn't you just be happy for me?" Malik shook his head, his knuckles white.

"Listen to yourself!" He started to cry. "I love you, Ryou! I want you to just… Just…" He sniffed, and lifted one hand from the steering wheel to wipe at his eyes. "Fuck. Think about what you're saying to me! All I want is to take you away somewhere and have you all to myself forever, and you're rejecting me. You're just casting me aside and going for what you think is better-"

"It's not about whether you're better than Bakura or not." Ryou whispered. "Bakura could still be the cold, abusive demon he was a year ago, and I would still go with him." He looked down. "I love him. Malik, you-you tried to kill Bakura! You were willing to sacrifice him for me, how is this different?"

"He wasn't alive!"

"But he is now!" There were tearstains down Ryou's face. "He's alive and we're going to get married and grow old together, a-and if you can't handle that, then… Then…" Ryou shook his head slowly. "You're my best friend, Malik. I-I don't want to lose you. But if I have to make a choice… You know where my heart lies."

* * *

"Ryou!" The nurse brightened as the teenager closed the door to the hospital room. Ryou grinned, and almost ran across the room, to Bakura's bedside. "He's asleep." Ryou froze, and straightened up, staring at the nurse with wide brown eyes.

"What-"

"He's tired." The blonde said gently. "It's extremely common for coma patients to wake up and go right back to sleep, Ryou. He's just not used to the stimulation of being conscious yet, and it exhausted him. He'll probably be asleep for at least twenty hours." Ryou's heart sank a little, and he looked down at Bakura. There was definitely a huge difference, Ryou could tell after months and months of looking down at that lifeless, vacant face. Bakura's eyelids flickered slightly every so often, and his breathing was deep, and natural, all machines and needles completely gone.

"This…" Ryou sat down on the edge of the bed, his hands shaking. "Wow. I can't believe it… You said he wasn't going to ever wake up, a-and now he's here…" Ryou closed his eyes.

"These things happen." The nurse shrugged, looking down at her clipboard. "There may have been a very low chance, but it was still a chance. He's a very stubborn man Ryou, I've never met-"

"Someone who's so hard to kill." Ryou murmured, remembering those words Jounouchi had uttered so many long months ago. The nurse blinked.

"What?"

"Nothing." Ryou shook his head. "C-Can I have some time alone with him?" He looked up to the blonde, pleading. "Please?" The nurse nodded, walking to the foot of Bakura's bed, and slinging the clipboard over one side.

"Sure." She said cheerily, walking out of the room. She closed the door behind her, leaving the teenager alone with the sleeping yami. Ryou let out a long sigh, leaning down a little more over Bakura. One hand gently held the side of his face, and Ryou just looked down at the face of the man he had loved. The teenager leaned down, gently kissing him on the kips.

"I'm so happy." Ryou's voice cracked. "I… There's no words to say just how much. Because you're awake, 'Kura. You're awake." He rested his forehead on the yami's. "And that makes me the happiest person in the world. I… I know I've made some mistakes, and one really big one…" Ryou sighed. "A-And I don't know if I should tell you or not. I know how angry you're going to be at me… And I wish it never happened…" Ryou's insides flared up with guilt as he looked down at Bakura. "But I still love you. I always will. Maybe… Maybe, one day, I'll tell you. When I have enough courage."

"Ryou?" The whitenette blinked straightening up and looking over to Malik. The blonde stood in the doorway, a strange look on his face. "Is he awake?" Ryou shook his head, looking back down at Bakura.

"He's just sleeping." Ryou ran a finger along the side of Bakura's face. "The nurse said he's really tired after what he went through… I'm scared." Malik blinked, and walked towards Ryou.

"What of?" Malik asked, taking a seat beside Ryou. He gently placed a hand on one shoulder, and Ryou closed his eyes.

"Because…" He sighed. "What if he's brain damaged, Malik? What if when he wakes up, he's forgotten me?" Malik frowned slightly.

"No, Ryou." He said softly. "He would never forget you. Don't think like that. He's awake. You have your fiancée, and your perfect fucking life, isn't that what you want?" Ryou froze, and his eyes widened as Malik stood up. "Isn't it?"

"Malik, please…"

"Never mind me, as long as _your_ life is perfect, then everything is okay-"

"Malik!" Ryou said weakly. "Don't be like this. You know you don't have to leave. You can stay with us." Malik took a step forward, and grabbed Ryou's arms. The light gasped as the Egyptian pulled him up so they were eye to eye.

"But would you love me?" Malik's voice was strained. Ryou's eyes were wide, and innocent. "Of course you wouldn't." Ryou cried out as the Egyptian pushed him back onto the bed, and bit his lip. "I'll be waiting in the hallway." Ryou watched with a long sigh as Malik turned and left the door, slamming it behind him.

"Malik…" Ryou sighed, biting on his lip hard. "I never wanted it to be like this…" He buried his head in his hands. "How can I let this happen? I can't keep Malik and Bakura happy… I love Bakura so much more but I can't hurt Malik…" He let out a long, shuddering sigh, closing his eyes. "What can I do?"

* * *

"Malik…"

"Don't talk to me." Malik growled as he threw the keys to the Mercedes on the kitchen counter. "Just… I'm going to bed." He sighed, stomping past the lounge and into the guest room.

"Malik." Ryou moaned weakly, running a hand through his hair. "Please…" He padded softly into the lounge, and sat down on the couch. He grabbed a couch cushion, and buried his head into the soft, plush fabric. "I…" Ryou tried his very hardest not to cry. "I don't know what I should do…"

Malik was being a brat and he knew it.

The Egyptian sighed as he sat down on the edge of the bed, clenching his hands into fists. He closed his eyes, and leaned his head back. _Fuck_. This was so screwed up. Bakura waking up was both a blessing and a curse. Ryou was so happy, but Malik's chance of being with him were totally shot.

"I have to stop." Malik sighed to himself, flopping down onto the bed. He stared up at the ceiling, biting on his lower lip. "Ryou is happy. And I am being so selfish about this. I know I am. I…" Malik rolled over onto his stomach, staring at the wall. "But I just want Ryou so so so much… I was so happy when he slept with me, I want that all of the time. But I can't. Bakura's awake. He's going to run to him." Malik closed his eyes. "They're gonna be together and I'm gonna be on the outside again." _Or am I?_

Malik frowned, as the small seed of a plan began to form in his mind.

* * *

R&R?


	13. Chapter 13

-sigh- Sorry it's late. It made me cry like, five times TT

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Deal with it.

* * *

"Fuck."

Malik flopped back down on the bed, gritting his teeth. He was kneading a large, soft pillow in his hands, staring up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes for a moment, and opened them again. The first beams of sunlight were stroking the white ceiling, peeking through the gap in the curtains.

"This isn't fair." Malik breathed, rolling over and hugging the pillow. "I-It's not. There's only one thing for me to do, but I don't know if I can. If I tell Bakura that we slept together, then he'll hate Ryou, who'll be heartbroken. If I don't, then they'll be happy and I'll never get to be with Ryou…" Malik closed his eyes again. He'd been thinking about it all night. "But… Bakura deserves to know the truth, doesn't he?" The Egyptian murmured aloud, trying to convince himself. "Ryou's far too scared to tell Bakura, and someone has to tell him Who knows? Maybe Bakura won't be too mad at Ryou… He wasn't last time." The Egyptian bit his lip. He was trying to convince himself that doing the wrong thing was right.

And sadly, it was actually working.

* * *

"Hi guys!" Ryou was practically skipping as he approached the gang at their lunch table, setting down the plastic tray. "How are you?" Yugi smiled gently at the whitenette's happy tone.

"Okay, I suppose. Pretty happy, huh?" Ryou nodded emphatically, and speared some of the food with his fork.

"Yes! Oh, this is so _great._ I… I don't even know how to describe it." Ryou shook his head. "It's the greatest feeling ever. I-I totally gave up on him, and now…" He swallowed another mouthful of food, looking so happy. "There's… There's just no words." Ryou looked down at his food, tears filling at his eyes. He didn't want to go to school at all today, he wanted to go to the hospital and see Bakura, but he was forced to go to school today, due to a Chemistry test (That made up twenty-five percent of his final grade).

"We're really happy for you, Bakura." Jounouchi said kindly. "You guys are really in love with each other, aren't you?" Ryou nodded, smiling widely.

"I just… It's so amazing that he woke up after so long." Ryou said gently. "I can't stop thinking about it. I want to be there, but I have to take this _stupid_ test…"

"Aw, it's not so bad." Honda remarked. "Not only do you get to take the Chemistry test, but you get to sit in on the lovely _sex ed_ class last spell…"

"That is so dumb!" Yugi complained. "Honestly! I mean, we're all sixteen now, we all know everything about sex…"

"I think it's about being safe and all that." Anzu said thoughtfully. "But hey, if you ask me, it's wasted on you guys, it's not like any of you have gotten laid before…" He squeaked as three venomous glares were tossed her way. "What?"

"Hey, I got pretty close with Miho." Honda muttered, glaring down at his food. Jounouchi chuckled.

"Ha. I got details, Honda, and that's not close. Stop deluding yourself." Honda looked up and glared at his friend, angry.

"Hey! It's not like you've ever gotten your leg over either Jounouchi, so you can just shut up-"

"No one has." Yugi said gently. "Not in our gang, anyway-"

"Bakura has." Jounouchi muttered, glaring at the whitenette. Ryou's mouth fell open, and a dark blush started spreading across his cheeks.

"Jounouchi…" He sighed, shaking his head. "I… I _really_ don't want to-"

"Really?" Honda blinked. "But I didn't realize how… Ugh, I don't want to think about it." He shuddered, and Ryou's blush grew deeper. He lowered his eyes, biting on his lower lip.

"How many times?" Ryou's eyes widened like dinner plates at Jounouchi's words, and he looked away, groaning.

"I don't really want to discuss my um, my sex life with you guys." Ryou muttered gently, his hand clenching tighter on his fork. "I…"

"No, really." Jounouchi frowned. "You're like, sixteen and you're gonna get married… That like, never happens. How many?" Ryou raised his eyes heavenward for a moment, blowing his bangs out of his eyes.

"Um… A hundred? A hundred and fifty? I don't keep count…" Four pairs of eyes stared at him in shock. "What?"

"A-Are you serious?" Yugi said faintly. "A hundred and fifty?" Ryou nodded weakly, his face flaming.

"Someone in the gang got laid a hundred and fifty times?"

"Yeah, but that's doesn't count cos it's with another guy."

Ryou shook his head as they went on to discuss whether it counted if two guys slept together, which led on to two _girls_ sleeping together, which led on to Jounouchi and Honda discussing some certain… Actresses, much to Anzu's displeasure.

_I never thought about that._ Ryou chewed on his food thoughtfully, little bubbles of happiness fizzing away inside of him. _Practically no one gets married at sixteen at all; in fact, I'm so amazed that these guys are even accepting this. I thought they hated Bakura. I know they do. Maybe they're just putting it all on to keep me happy. I wouldn't put it past them. I mean, they are trying to include me again. I think Malik must have had a talk with them or something, because it's so odd that they're suddenly including me and talking to me. Not outside of school, though. They never call me. I suppose I can't be that hopeful. Maybe it's pity. No one deserves to hit their head and get into a coma. Maybe they felt sorry for him, and for me. I'm certainly not going to ask, that would be so rude._

_Heh. Guess I'll never really know._

* * *

Malik gently closed the hospital door behind him, staring at the pale figure spread out on the bed. Bakura lay down on his back, his head propped up by several large pillows. His gaze was focused in the television bolted to the wall, but when Malik entered the room, he broke his gaze away from the TV, smiling weakly.

"Malik." He muttered tiredly, staring at the Egyptian. Malik crossed the room slowly, before sitting down on the edge of the bed. "It's been a while."

"Not for you, I bet." Malik didn't know how to feel as he stared down at Bakura. The yami looked, to be frank, like shit. He looked paler than ever before, his face was so thin and bony, and there were dark shadows under his eyes that were a dark purple, almost black.

"I look like shit." Bakura groaned, closing his eyes. Malik blinked. "I know I do. I feel like shit, too. I just woke up a bloody hour ago, and I have this pounding _headache_." He sighed, screwing his eyes up tight. "It's more of a dull ache sort of thing, but it comes and goes in these waves… It hurts so much I can't think then." The Egyptian bit his lip in deep concern for his friend.

"Bakura…" He stared at the pale yami. "Have you told any of the doctors this?" Bakura shrugged, and shook his head, fiddling with the remote in his hand. "Why not?"

"Meh." Bakura sighed. "They don't care much. I'm awake now, they're basically left me to it." Malik groaned, and shook his head.

"Bakura… In case you forgot, you had a head injury. You cracked your freaking skull! If you're having really bad headache's, that's a really really bad thing. It's major. You have to tell them…" Bakura only shook his head and chuckled.

"Malik… Just as neurotic as always, I see. Only Ryou made you worse, I'm sure…" An odd expression formed on Bakura's face. It was… soft. "How is he?" He locked eyes with the tanned blonde, and all Malik could see was concern and worry.

"He's brilliant." Malik smiled. "Now, anyway. He was totally heartbroken over losing you, Bakura. I've never ever seen him so upset." Bakura looked down, still toying with the remote.

"He must be in school." The yami muttered, looking thoughtful. "Couldn't he even get this one day off?" Malik made a face, and shook his head.

"Sadly, no. He's got this really big chemistry exam today, or something. He wanted to get out of it, Bakura. Really. I-It was my fault, really. He couldn't miss it, and we weren't even sure of you were awake… But he's coming right over as soon as he finishes school, I promise." Bakura nodded, and sighed, relaxing against the bed. He toyed with the sheet around his waist now, the black remote resting on his flat, almost concave stomach.

"That's great." He murmured. "I really wanna see him again. I just wanna hold him. It feels like it's been forever…" Malik sighed, and looked out the window. _Just tell him._ The Egyptian thought to himself. _You've made the descision that you're going to tell him, just do it now, and get it over with. Then you'll have Ryou to be with again. Sure, he may be a bit angry at first, but he'll calm down, and then it'll be like it was that night... That was so wonderful._ "I mean, it's-"

"I slept with Ryou." Malik blurted out the words, his heart hammering in his chest. Bakura froze, and blinked repeatedly.

"Huh?" He muttered, shaking his head. "It sounded like you said you…"

"I slept with Ryou." Malik breathed again, closing his eyes. "Please, don't be mad, Bakura. I was just the one night, and Ryou regrets it like hell-"

"You're kidding." Malik opened his eyes to stare at Bakura, who sat straight up, his hands clenched into fists. Malik was sure he saw a hint of worry in the yami's eyes. "You're fucking kidding me."

"No." Malik looked away, twisting his hands together. "It was more of an accident than anything. It's not like we were drunk, or anything, cos we weren't. We just… one thing kind of led to another. I know Ryou's not gonna be happy, but I had to tell you the truth…" The Egyptian looked up, locking eyes with the white-haired yami.

"You mean to tell me…" Bakura said slowly, disbelievingly. It were as though his world had fallen away. "That you slept with Ryou. You slept with my fiancée when I was in a coma-" Bakura's voice broke, and he had to stop. This wasn't real. This was a sick dream, it had to be. Ryou would never ever cheat on him! Never! Ryou loved Bakura to pieces, he would never betray his lover like that.

_He's done it before..._

_No._ Bakura shook his head, resolutely.

"You're lying." He concluded, crossing his arms. "Ryou loves me, he would never ever cheat on me, Malik. You have it all totally wrong. Stop fucking lying." Malik blinked, and then shook his head.

"I-I wish I was." The Egyptian whispered. "But I'm not. Really. Bakura, I'm so sorry, please don't be angry at Ryou for this, I sort of pushed him into it. He'd grown accepted to the fact that you weren't gonna wake up and I convinced him it wasn't wrong… I'm sorry." Bakura's expression was cold and stony.

"Ryou wouldn't do that." Bakura said softly, sitting up. "For fucks sake Malik, you know that! And if you're gonna keep _lying_ to me like this, then I think you should go."

"Bakura-"

"It's only what you want, Malik!" Bakura's eyes flashed dangerously. "You only wish that you could sleep with Ryou. I know you do. Like Ryou would ever sleep with you, it's not like he loves you or anything." Malik shook his head, biting his lip.

"Bakura, please." Malik said gently. "I hate to say this, but it's all the truth. And Ryou is going to be so so mad at me, I know, but you have to know."

"I think you should go." Bakura was breathing deeply, closing his eyes. "Just… Go, Malik. Please." He slumped against the pillows, feeling ill. Malik bit his lip as he stood up, running a hand through his long sandy locks.

"Bakura…"

"I mean it." Bakura kept his eyes closed, feeling drained. "Go away." Malik groaned, and sighed deeply. The yami heard the footsteps as Malik left the room, shutting the door behind him. Bakura rolled over, and stared at the wall. It wasn't true… Was it? Would Ryou really betray him like that? No. Of course not. Malik was trying to make up some sick prank or something. Some kind of deluded fantasy of his, Bakura was sure.

"I'll have to ask Ryou." Bakura said gently to himself, staring at the sunbeams on the wall. "He'll always tell the truth. To me, anyway." Bakura tried to shrug off what Malik said, thinking it was some kind of sick joke of his. After all, Ryou would never cheat on him like that. Never.

Then why did Bakura have such a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach?

* * *

"Bakura!" The yami broke his gaze away from the television as Ryou entered the room, staring at the teenager. Ryou ran across the room, feeling as though he might burst with joy. He was awake. He was really really awake! Bakura flashed a tired smile at the sight of his lover, his heart skipping a beat. Was it him, or did Ryou look thinner than usual?

"Ryou." Bakura breathed, managing to sit up. For a moment, that sick feeling in the bottom of his stomach was gone, and all he felt was love for the slim teenager who sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning in to embrace him. Then, Malik's words came back to him, and he felt sick again.

"Kura." Ryou was just about to embrace Bakura when the yami placed his hands on Ryou's chest, and pushed him away. The whitenette fell back on his rear, throwing out his hands to balance himself. He stared questioningly at Bakura, who licked his lips. "Kura…"

"Malik said something today…" He muttered gently. "He was over earlier." Ryou blinked tilting his head to one side questioningly. "He said…" Bakura looked up slightly, and locked eyes with the teenager. "He said you slept with him."

Ryou froze. He sat perfectly still for a long moment, feeling oddly numb. He raised a shaking hand to his mouth, clamping it over his lips. _No. No. Malik wouldn't. He didn't. He **can't**... _Ryou got that awful sick feeling in the bottom of his stomach, and it started rising up into his chest, growing more and more until it hurt. The numb feeling spread to the tips of his fingers and his toes, and Ryou started feeling dizzy and there was a rushing sound in his hears…

"No." Bakura gasped as he stared at Ryou. His face just totally caved in before he buried it in his hands completely, and his shoulders started shaking. "No fucking way." Bakura's heart sank in his chest. _He did. Ryou... He... That little..._

"I-I-I d-didn't want to." Ryou finally managed to gasp, almost hyperventilating in his panic. "I-I really didn't." He raised his head from his hands, and Bakura could see Ryou already had tearstains down his cheeks. "I-I tried to t-tell h-him n-no, a-and push him o-off, but-"

"How could you." Bakura's voice was low, and for the first time in a long while, it was shaking. The yami felt like he was going to throw up. He didn't know what to say. He didn't even want to look at Ryou right then. He glared at the wall instead, his shaking hands clenching and unclenching into fists. "You little…"

"K-Kura please…" Ryou wiped at his eyes, before extending a shaking hand out to Bakura. "I-I-" The plea turned into a gasp as Bakura roughly slapped his hand away, a snarl on his face.

"Don't _touch_ me." Bakura growled contemptuously as the numb feeling vanished. Anger was all there was left. Cold, blind, anger. Bakura was _furious_. "You fucking _slut_." Ryou shook his head slowly, sobbing.

"No." He whispered, his shoulders shaking. "I-I'm n-not-" Ryou cried out as Bakura leaned over a little bit and slapped him hard across the face. The teenager closed his eyes, and held a hand to his stinging cheek, closing his eyes. It hurt most however, in his chest. It felt like his heart was being ripped apart.

"Yes!" Bakura yelled, his head throbbing painfully. He ignored it, however. All he could think about was Ryou. Cheating, lying Ryou who went ahead and fucked his best friend while Bakura was in a _coma_. "You fucking are. I can't _believe_ you!"

"No." Ryou whispered hoarsely, still clutching his cheek. It was all so perfect a few moments ago, and yet now it was all so horribly wrong. The urge to vomit increased. "I-I-"

"Stop talking!" Bakura yelled, sharply hitting the other side of Ryou's face. The whitenette gritted his teeth as he clutched his burning cheeks, shaking madly. "Just tell me now. How many times." Ryou bowed his head, sobbing weakly. "Answer me _now!"_

"J-Just once." Ryou finally managed to utter. He gently lowered his hands from his burning cheeks, twisting them anxiously in his lap. "J-Just the one time, I-I swear."

"_JUST?"_ Bakura roared. He managed to make himself rest on his knees. "_Just?"_ Ryou whimpered, curling away from the yami. "You _just _slept with Malik?" Ryou moaned weakly, feeling as though his world had fallen away. "You fucking slut!" Bakura repeated, shouting angrily. He leaned over again, grabbing Ryou's shoulders. The whitenette screamed as he was roughly shoved onto the floor, falling on his rear on the hard linoleum.

"P-Please…" Ryou gasped, struggling to sit up. "I-I thought you were gonna die-"

"_That is no excuse to sleep with Malik!"_ Bakura raged, his hands clenched into fists. "_We were going to get married!"_ Ryou sobbed, holding his hands over his face. Bakura watched Ryou cry, his rage boiling over.

"B-Bakura-"

"Get out." Bakura spat venomously, glaring down at the frail teenager in contempt. "Get the fuck out _now." _Ryou hiccupped, shaking his head weakly. The yami growled and bared his demonic canines in a snarl. "_Leave._ Get the _fuck_ out my sight _now_, you fucking bitch." Ryou shook his head, trying his hardest to ignore the verbal abuse. He tried to tell himself that it was going to be okay, that Bakura would eventually calm down, and apologize for calling him those things and smacking him.

"Kura…" Ryou whispered hopelessly, managing to sit up. The yami snarled again, and threw back the covers on the bed. He swung his legs over the side, and his feet gently touched the floor. Bakura shook a little, and gripped the side of the bed to balance himself (It _was_ the first time he had stood up in nine months). The yami, clothed only in the pale blue hospital gown, took a few shaking steps towards Ryou. Ryou held his head in his hands, crying weakly. Bakura leaned down, and grabbed a handful of long white hair. Ryou's breath froze in his throat, and he yelped loudly as Bakura yanked hard on his head. Ryou was sobbing as he was roughly yanked to his feet, staggering slightly and sobbing in pain.

"I fucking _hate_ you." Bakura seethed as he marched across the room, dragging the sobbing teenager behind him. Ryou shook his head, moaning weakly as Bakura managed to open the door to his room, wavering a little on his feet. "So get the _fuck_ out!" Bakura took several steps into the hallway, dragging Ryou behind him, who was sobbing in pain. The yami unceremoniously let go of Ryou's hair, and the whitenette wavered on his feet, sobbing weakly. Bakura stared at Ryou for a moment, before turning on his heel, and walking back into his room. He slammed the door so hard the walls shook, and leaned against the wood. His free hand slid along the wood of the wall, until he found the lock. He turned it, his hand shaking.

"Kura!" Ryou screamed, staggering towards the door, and thudding on it weakly. "Please… I-I'm sorry! R-Really I am…" The whitenette rested his head against the door, sobbing. "I-I… I-I…" He broke down in a fresh flood of tears, sliding down to the floor. His chest hurt so _much._ It was like someone had stabbed him right in the heart. How could this be happening? One moment, Bakura was alive, he was awake, and now…

Malik.

Ryou felt a stab of anger surge through his chest. Malik did this. Malik told Bakura about what Ryou had did. Malik broke them apart. Ryou let out a low moan, his forehead against the door. He cried and cried, feeling as though his heart was broken.

This wasn't possible. Ryou refused to believe it was.

"Fuck." Bakura gasped, closing his eyes. His legs were trembling, and his heart was thudding in his chest. "Oh fuck." He repeated in a low moan, shaking. He opened his eyes, and managed to stumble weakly over to his bed. He sank into the mattress, his hands gripping the iron railing of the bed. Bakura bowed his head, closing his eyes. This wasn't possible. This _couldn't_ be possible. Ryou… Ryou betrayed him. He did the worst possible thing he could, by sleeping with someone else. Malik, or all people. The person he had _just_ forgiven.

No. Not just, Bakura thought. This was nine months later. Everything was different. Everyone had given up on Bakura. They'd… They'd moved on.

No.

Bakura clenched his hands into fists. He was _not _going to be forgotten about this. He felt like he was going to vomit, and his head _ached_. The yami let out a long, long sigh, and lay down on the bed. He buried his head on the pillow, and sniffed.

He was about to cry. Bakura shook his head, holding his breath. He stretched his long legs out on the bed further, and clutched the pillows with his hands, grabbing handfuls of the plush material. It was _awful_. How could everything go wrong like that so quickly?

_It's all Ryou's fault._ Bakura didn't question that with himself at all. _He slept with Malik. He cheated on me. He deserves what I gave him and more. If he comes near me again, I'm really going to let him have it. That fucking **slut**._

* * *

There were no tears left as Ryou shut the door to his home behind himself. They were just all gone. It took three hours and the help of a passing-by nurse before Ryou was able to regain his composure, and even then he was still weak and shaky. Ryou dropped his school bag onto the floor without bothering to take it to his room, and walked into the lounge. Just as he expected, Malik was sitting on the couch, watching the television. The Egyptian raised his eyes as he heard Ryou enter the room, and smiled.

"Ryou, how are…" He trailed off when he noticed the state Ryou was in however, and the intense look of cold anger on his face. "Shit."

"How could you." Ryou's hands were shaking, and his eyes were blazing. Malik's shoulders slumped, and he bit on his lip hard. "How _could _you?"

"I thought it was for the best!" Malik protested, starting to breathe faster. He walked towards Ryou, who was standing almost perfectly still, clenching and unclenching his hands into fists. "Please, you have to-" Malik gasped as Ryou withdrew a hand, and punched him hard in the jaw. Malik staggered back from the force of the blow, holding a hand to his jaw.

"Stay _away _from me." Ryou seethed, seeing red. "You… You better be gone by tomorrow morning Malik, I swear." At this, Ryou turned around and fled. He ran out of the lounge, and down the hallway, and into the sanctuary of his bedroom. Ryou closed the door behind him, and ran over to the bed. Without even removing his coat and shoes, the teenager pulled back the sheets, and buried himself under the blankets. He pulled them over himself, lying on his side, curling into a small ball. It was stifling under the sheets, but Ryou didn't care. He was almost hyperventilating, hidden in the safe sanctuary of in his bed. The fact that Bakura hated him, hit him, yelled at him, was almost too much to bear.

_This has to be a dream._ Ryou let out a long moan. _Please let this all be some sick twisted joke Malik and Bakura are playing on me. Please, please..._ Ryou held his hands over his head, trying to make himself as small as possible.

**_Please_.**

* * *

Awwhhhh sadness... Hehehe. Dont hate meh! -whimper-

R&R!


	14. Chapter 14

Ack. Was this a quick update or what? XD Hope you enjoy.

How, off to bed with me... School in four hours X.x;

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

"Isis." Malik bit hard on his lip as he twirled the phone cord in his fingers. His suitcase was on the floor of the small living room, along with various other boxes and cases of his possessions. He gratefully accepted the coffee that was handed to him, taking a sip.

"Malik!" The teenager sighed at the sound of his sisters' voice, taking another gulp of coffee.

"Hi." He whispered, his eyes downcast. "Thanks Ichiko." He muttered, jerking his head towards the girl. The brunette nodded and smiled weakly, before heading back to the kitchen table, where her college notes where spread out.

"This is odd… Do you know what time it is over here?" Malik nodded.

"Yeah, I know. But I didn't have much time. I'm over at our place right now, I… I…" Malik swallowed deeply. "Ryou kicked me out."

"Why?" Isis was clearly concerned, Malik could tell from her voice. He felt like crying.

"I… Well… To make a long story short, Bakura woke up, I told him about sleeping with Ryou, and now Bakura won't ever take him back, and Ryou hates me…" The Egyptian swallowed, and closed his eyes. "I-I never thought Ryou would be this angry at me…" He felt tears pushing at the back of his eyes. "I'm so confused…"

"Oh no." Malik winced at Isis's tone, taking another gulp of coffee. "Malik, you _didn't._"

"I need to come back to Egypt." Malik muttered. "I… I have to go. Think about it Isis, when Bakura's able to get out of bed, he's going to want to kill me for what I did to Ryou. I can't take that risk at all, I-I just can't. I have to go. Ryou hates me, Bakura hates me, and they hate each other…" He ran a hand through his hair. "I-I've gone and messed everything up for everyone…"

"Okay." Isis said gently. "Um, I'll try and arrange a flight for you tomorrow. Will Ichiko let you stay?"

"Better." Malik cast an eye over to the girl, bent over her college notes. "We're subletting this place to her."

"Stay as long as you need to." The girl muttered, frowning at her work. "It's all good."

"It's all good." Malik repeated wearily into the receiver. "I'll stay here tonight then fly out tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure." Isis said gently, biting on her lip hard. "Malik… I'm really disappointed in you, you know that, right?" Malik's heart sank, and he nodded weakly.

"Yeah." He sighed. "I-I know you are."

* * *

Bakura closed his eyes as the hospital room door opened. He was curled on his side, away from the door, staring at the wall. The television was switched off.

"Hey," The nurse smiled. "We'll have to move your T.V if you're not watching it. It's a waste of resources you…" She stopped when she noticed Bakura's state. "Oh goodness." She whispered, clutching her clipboard. "Are you okay?"

"Piss off." Bakura muttered, tightening his hold on the blankets. The blonde nurse blinked, and then bit on her lip.

"Bakura, are you oka-"

"I said piss off!" The yami rolled over, and sat up. "For fucks' sake, you stupid woman, just… Just leave me alone!" The woman took a step back.

"Bakura… What's wrong?" She asked softly. "I-It's only five o'clock, I thought Ryou would be here-"

"Don't _talk_ to me about that little slut!" Bakura raged, clenching his hands into fists. "Don't you dare _ever_ mention him around me!" The nurse's eyes were wider than ever.

"Why not?" She asked. Bakura growled.

"Because he's a cheating slut and I _hate_ him!" Bakura took a deep breath, and went to say more, when it happened again. He gasped as his the pain in his already throbbing head increased tenfold, crashing over him like a wave. "Oh _fuck." _The yami gritted his teeth as he grabbed handfuls of his own hair, and yanking down hard on it to counteract the pain. He bowed his head, gritting his teeth. "_FUCK." _

"Oh no!" The clip board clattered to the floor as the woman ran over to Bakura's bedside, hovering over the yami anxiously. Bakura's breathing increased, faster and harder. "What on earth is wrong?"

"… Headache." Bakura finally managed to mutter. It felt like someone was attacking his head with an axe. "Oh _fuck_ it hurts…" The nurse stood back, her eyes wide.

"How does it hurt?" She asked. "Is it in waves, or is it constant?" Bakura gritted his teeth, feeling as though he might cry.

"… Waves." He muttered, trembling. The nurse bit her lip.

"Is it worse on one side of the head, or does it change, or is it equal?" Bakura groaned.

"It's all over and it fucking _hurts_." He gasped, closing his eyes. "Turn down the lights…"

"Are you nauseous?" The nurse picked up her clipboard, and began scribbling furiously. "Do you feel as if you're about to vomit?"

"A bit…" Bakura whispered. "But it's my fucking _head_ that hurts…"

"Okay…" The nurse bit her lip, and sat down on the edge again. "Bakura, has this ever happened before the coma?" Bakura shook his head, trying to regulate his breathing.

"It really hurts…" Bakura sounded pathetic, and he knew it. The nurse sighed deeply in sympathy.

"Okay… I think you might be experiencing heavy migraines, Bakura. We're going to have to run some tests-"

"Make it _stop."_ Bakura groaned. "You're a freaking doctor, make it _stop_."

"I'm a nurse." The woman said gently. "And I'm sorry, but Migraines are largely untreatable, unless you want to risk expensive drugs with low success rates and awful side affects-"

"I want this to _stop_." Bakura groaned. "How long is this going to last for?" The nurse shrugged.

"Depends on the person. Usually, it can be up to seventy-two hours-"

"No." Bakura said flatly, shaking his head, despite the throbbing pain. "It can't be that long… You can't _let _it go that long!" Bakura panicked, starting to hyperventilate. It hurt so _much!_

"It's okay!" The nurse said. "It should dissipate soon, just relax. You have to relax, or you could trigger a relapse. Okay?" Bakura groaned, shaking his head. "Please, just lie back…" The blonde gently placed her hands on Bakura's shoulders. The yami growled, and pushed her hands away. "Bakura, do you want this migraine to go away, or what?" Bakura sighed, nodding weakly. "Please, just lie back."

"Kay." Bakura groaned. Slowly, as though he was afraid to, the yami started to lie back into the pillow. Eventually, he lay out flat on his back, his head throbbing. He twisted his hands into the sheets hard, biting his lip hard. "Still hurts…" He groaned weakly. The nurse sighed. Bakura made a face, the nausea increasing in his throat. "Ugh… This _sucks_."

"I know." The nurse sighed gently, trying to smooth out the sheets. "I'm very sorry about this all, you know I am." Bakura sighed, and shrugged.

"Nothing anyone can do about it." He wrinkled his nose. "Apparently." He closed his eyes. "Why did I have to wake up?" The nurse's mouth fell open in shock.

"Bakura… You don't mean that." She protested. "You can't. About ten percent of the population has migraines, you can still live a normal life-"

"Not the migraines." Bakura moaned, feeling tears pool in his eyes. "_Ryou."_

"What do you mean?" The nurse blinked. "I-I'm confused… Did he do something wrong?"

"_Yes_ he did something wrong!" Bakura opened his eyes. "He slept with someone else. He fucking cheated on me! Of Malik, or all people. I know he's sex on legs, but _honestly,_ how could he?" Bakura tried to sit up, but couldn't summon the strength. "I don't understand it at all…"

"He what?" the nurse blinked. "You must have it wrong, Bakura. Ryou couldn't do it. He-"

"He did!" Bakura shot back, his hands clenching into fists. It still hurt. The nurse shook his head.

"Let me finish. Ryou was the most devoted person I've ever seen. He was at your bedside every day for those nine months for at least an hour. He was so sad about what happened to you. I just can't see someone that devoted and loving betraying you."

"Well, he did!" Bakura growled. "Ryou cheated on me and he didn't even try to deny it when I asked him. He's a fucking slut and I _hate_ him." He relaxed against the sheets again, trying to calm down. Was it him, or was the headache lessening, just a tiny bit?

"You're so angry…" The nurse frowned slightly. "Bakura, did you ever have counseling or anything?" The yami groaned, wrinkling his nose.

"Yeah… There was this woman, Sanami. I used to go and see her once a week when I was trying to… To win Ryou over." Bakura's voice caught in his throat. "But that was over a year ago." The nurse bit her lip.

"Sanami… Her name rings a bell. She's one of the town top therapists and counselors isn't she?. You were lucky to be one of her regulars." Bakura sighed.

"Whatever." He muttered, rolling over and staring at the wall. "It's no use anyway." The yami closed his eyes. "I feel a bit better." It was true, his head was reduced to a more mild throbbing, and the nausea in his stomach was greatly reduced. "I might take a nap."

"Okay." The nurse nodded, standing up and glancing at her clipboard. She sighed as she closed the hospital door behind her, and started to walk down to the nurses lounge. Sure, she had other patients, but they could wait at the moment. She wasn't attached to them like she was attached to Bakura, and she wanted to help.

Perhaps it would be an idea to give Sanami a call.

* * *

Ryou had been crying for a long time.

He was curled up under the covers, hiding away from the world. Eventually, his sobs dried, and quieted, until all that was left was a strange, hollow emptiness. It felt so strange…

"It's not fair." Ryou whispered brokenly to himself. "A-At least I was honest… And I know what I did was wrong, but I was pushed into it. Malik made me…" Ryou shook his head. "I-I can't use that. If I tried hard enough, Malik would have stopped me. I-I can't use that excuse. It won't work. I'm just a horrible person." Ryou looked down at his left hand. The huge diamond was still on his finger, managing to twinkle even under the sheets. Ryou sighed, and took a deep breath, inhaling the stale, warm air under the blankets. He never, ever took the ring off. Not for school, not for showering, he didn't even take it off when he slept with Malik. "I love Bakura." Ryou whispered. "I-I do. I'm not even sure if what I feel for Malik is love. He makes me happy, and he's not bad looking." Ryou closed his eyes.

"It's just a dumb crush." Ryou tried to tell himself. "And it doesn't even matter any more. I pushed Malik away. I-I can't, I don't want to have him back." The teenager rubbed at his red, raw eyes. "How did this happen? I-I had both Malik and Bakura, and now I've lost both of them… Ugh. I sound so shallow." He muttered, inflamed with self-disgust. "No wonder both of them don't want me…"

"That's not true." Ryou had grown quite used to the concept of talking to himself over the months. "Malik wants me. He loves me. But I don't want him! I-I don't, I don't, I don't!" He shook his head violently, starting to sob again. "I am not that desperate. I am not going to go back to him, just because Bakura's rejected me… Bakura." He whispered, shaking violently. "It's not possible. He has to forgive me, h-he has to. He will. He's not going to stay mad at me forever. Bakura still loves me. Part of him does. He didn't mean it when he said he hated me. He's only angry with me. H-He has to be. Not after everything we've been through. Bakura just needs time to think about it, and simmer down. He's always had big issues with his anger." Ryou curled into a tighter ball under the blankets, sniffing. "Things are going to work out.

Things have to work out."

* * *

Ryou did _not_ want to go to school.

To say he was looking forward to it would have been a huge underestimation. But Ryou had to. He'd missed so much school over the past school year, and gotten so behind, that he was in real danger of holding back. And although he was at a crisis with Bakura, Ryou always cared very deeply about his school work.

Ryou looked like crap as he wandered down the halls, and he knew it. Thankfully, however, he was one of those teenagers that no one really noticed, so he wasn't pulled up for his obvious grief.

That was, of course, until he entered Geography, where he sat next to Yugi. The moment that Ryou sank into his seat, white-faced and shaking, the smaller teen knew something was up.

"Bakura." He muttered, keeping an eye on the teacher. Class wasn't starting for another few minutes, thankfully. "What on earth is wrong?" Ryou, who was staring at his desk, blinked, and looked up.

"O-Oh." He said softly, sounding far away. "I… I…" Ryou twisted his hands together.

"Yes?" Yugi was extremely concerned for his friend, who just seemed… dead inside. "Bakura, what happened?"

"Did Jounouchi tell you about Ba- The spirit of the ring waking up?" Yugi nodded, smiling.

"Yeah, you must be really happy about that-"

"It's over." Yugi froze.

"What…"

"It's over." Ryou repeated, staring at the floor. "Between us. He found out about Malik sleeping with me and now he hates me." Yugi's eyes widened to an impossibly large size.

"No way." He breathed. "You're… You're not serious. You can't be! Bakura… How can it just be over like that?" Ryou shrugged, still looking at his desk blankly.

"He hates me." Ryou repeated weakly. "He said I was a filthy slut and slapped me then said he hated me and threw me out of his room. He literally threw me out." Yugi's shoulder slumped slightly.

"Bakura…" He didn't know what to say. Although the relationship Ryou shared with his yami unsettled the maroon-eyed boy, Yugi was still Ryou's friend, and he cared about him, despite the whitenette falling out of his attention often. "I-I'm so sorry…"

"Nothing you can do." Ryou whispered gently. "Nothing anyone can do. I did something wrong, and now I'm paying for it." Yugi shook his head.

"But Bakura, from what you told me, it didn't sound very consensual. It was obvious you didn't want it, and you tried to push him off-"

"I should have tried harder!" Ryou burst out, clenching his hands into fists. Yugi froze, his eyes widening. Ryou slumped, closing his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Yugi." He said gently, biting his lip. "I don't mean to yell, it's just upsetting…"

"Of course it is." Yugi said, trying his hardest to be consoling. "I'm so sorry, Bakura. I really am." Ryou opened his mouth to respond when the loud voice of the teacher cut through their conversation.

"Okay class, everyone settle down, and turn your text books to page 58, we're continuing our discussion on the effects of human influence on the general climate…"

"You should go to the nurse, Bakura." Yugi said gently. "You're in a terrible state, you can't be here…"

"I-I have to." Ryou said gently. "I-I need to distract myself, Yugi. I-I can't just keep on thinking about it… I was up all night crying about it, I-I can't go through that again." Yugi sighed deeply in sympathy for the teen.

"Bakura, I'm really sorry." He repeated. "But do you think it's healthy, bottling all of this up inside you?"

"Yugi, please I-"

"Bakura, would you like to share with us what is so interesting, hm?" Ryou gulped as he raised his eyes up to the teacher, who stood at the head of the classroom, her hands on her hips.

"I-I'm sorry, Miss." Ryou mumbled, lowering his eyes as he straightened up. The teacher opened her mouth to continue reproving the teenager, when she fully noticed his condition.

"Bakura, what on earth?" She tried to peer into his face. "Are you okay? You look awful…"

"I'm fine." Ryou shot Yugi a look. "I-I just didn't get enough sleep last night is all… I'm having a bit of an insomnia issue right now, but it's all under control." The teacher, satisfied with the response, turned back to the whiteboard. Yugi shot the teenager a look, before raising his hands.

"He's lying, Miss." The shorter teenager proclaimed. "Bakura's really not healthy, he needs to go to the nurse-"

"Yugi!" Ryou protested weakly, slumping his slender shoulders. "I told you I was fine…"

"Bakura." The teacher stared at Ryou. The rest of the class looked on in bemusement. "Okay, nurse now. Yugi will escort you." Ryou groaned, shaking his head. "I'll write you a pass…" She bent over her desk for a moment, filling out a small square of paper. "Here. You both get your things." The whitenette gathered up his things slowly, while Yugi gathered his books into a stack, and hooked them under his arms quite quickly. The teacher handed the paper to Yugi, who led the way out of the room.

"I said I was fine." Ryou said hollowly as soon as they were in the corridor. "L-Look, I've missed enough school as it is, I need to attend as many classes as possible-"

"Bakura." Yugi was kind, but firm. "You're in a terrible state. You need to go to the nurse's office, and there's no way around it, okay?" Ryou sighed, but followed Yugi as he led the way across the school to the nurses office. After taking one look at Ryou's state, the nurse quickly led Ryou over to one of the beds, forcing him to lie down.

"I'm fine." Ryou murmured gently, stretched out on his side. He stared across the room, his hands under the pillow. Yugi sat in a hard, moulded plastic chair beside him, chewing on his lower lip. "Really…"

"You're not." Yugi said gently. "Ryou, you're trying to conceal a horrible pain inside yourself, and you can't. You have to just let it all out." Ryou closed his eyes. "Ryou…" In a rare moment, Yugi used the whitenette's first name. Ryou's eyes snapped open, and he lifted his head up slightly, confused. Ryou gently eased himself into a sitting position, staring at the boy. "The spirit of the ring hates you." Yugi dragged the chair closer to the bed. Sure, what he was about to do was cruel, but it was the only way to get through to him. "He never wants to see you again. The one person that you ever truly love hates you. After everything you've been through, the coma, everything, it was all for nothing. You love him so much and he feels nothing in return-"

"Stop it!" Ryou pleaded, his eyes welling up with tears. "Yugi stop…"

"Malik tore you two apart." Yugi pressed on. "You were going to get married and spend the rest of your lives together, and now it's all over-"

"_Stop!"_ Ryou's voice broke, and tears trickled down his cheeks. "Stop it Yugi, stop it stop it stop it!" He started to cry, sobbing weakly as the saline water dripped down his face. "Just stop…" He buried his face in his hands, emitting a low moan.

"Hey…" Yugi said softly. He stood up, and then sat down on the edge of the bed, next to Ryou. "It's okay…"

"No, it's not!" Ryou protested, lifting his tearstained face. "You're right… It's over between us. E-Everything we've ever been through… It's all over…" Yugi did the only thing he could, and wrapped his arms around Ryou's shoulders in a loose embrace as the whitenette cried. His sobs were so hard, they wracked his small frame, his breath coming out in short, punctuated gasps.

"That's good…" Yugi whispered soothingly. "Crying is good, Bakura. You need to just let it all out."

"I did last night!" Ryou protested, albeit a little weakly. "I-I was up all night just crying and crying… I'm a child, I know, crying so much. I'm so ashamed of myself…"

"Hey." Yugi said gently. "It's perfectly okay to cry. You just lost the love of your life." Ryou's sobs increased. "I was so worried to see you as blank as a statue, to tell you the truth. Bottling everything up is really bad."

"Y-Yeah." Ryou sniffed, still crying. "But… _Bakura._" He broke into fresh sobs. "I-It can't be all over just like that. He _can't_."

"We'll help you." Yugi said encouragingly. "We'll all help you get through this, Bakura. We know how much you care about and love him. But…"

"This is my mistake," Ryou whispered through his sobs. "And I have to deal with it. I was wrong, I was really big in the wrong…"

"You were forced into something you weren't comfortable with." Yugi tried to be comforting. "It's fine. You might not have Malik to help you through this, but you have us." Ryou nodded, smiling weakly.

"Yeah, I do have you guys." He said softly, his hands shaking.

_That is, until you forget I even exist again._

* * *

Awh. Sadness. XD

R&R!


	15. Chapter 15

Hiii!

Eep, sorry this is a little late, I was blocking a bit. But at least it's out! It's kinda short though... o.o;

I own nothing.

* * *

"Bakura."

The yami ignored the nurses voice, choosing instead to stare at the television, the remote dangling uselessly from his hands. The nurse sighed, and turned to the female next to her. "You try."

"Bakura." Sanami's voice was crisp and cool. The yami froze, before slowly turning his head, and staring at the psychologist. He blinked, but a moment later, he regained his usual, cold composure.

"What do you want." He muttered, staring back at the television. "It's been a fucking year, what brings you here now?" Sanami winced, walking towards the door. The nurse stood in the corner of the room.

"I heard about you." She said gently. "The nurse told me everything. About how you fell into a coma, and then what Ryou did… She suggested that I come and talk to you." Bakura growled.

"I don't want to talk to you," he muttered, staring resolutely at the screen. "I'm fine. Don't waste your fucking time."

"I want to." Sanami sat down in the chair beside the bed. "You may be denying it to yourself, but you feel horrible inside, I know you do." Bakura only crossed his arms.

"You think that because you got into my head a year ago you can do it again." The white-haired yami muttered. "Fat fucking chance."

"Bakura…" Sanami let out a long sigh. "It's more complicated than that. I only want to help you sort everything out again so you can get your life back. I only want to hel-"

"I don't _want_ your help!" Bakura snapped, and curled his hands into fists. "I am fine! I am fucking fine!" Sanami was silent. "I just want you to piss off and leave me alone!"

"Bakura-"

"NO! I don't want to _fucking_ hear it! What the hell makes you think that I need a head doctor anyway? I've been fine all of this time, Sanami, I can keep going." Bakura stared down, his heart hammering in his chest.

"Bakura, _listen _to me!" Sanami blurted out. "You're not fine. You've just woken up from a nine month long coma. You're disorientated, and this mess with Ryou-"

"_Don't talk about him!" _Bakura raged, sitting up straight. "Don't fucking talk about him! I don't care about him! I don't I don't I don't-"

"You do." Sanami said gently but firmly, cutting over the yami. "I still remember the violent man that walked into my office a year ago, Bakura. The man who was humiliated about being there, who was confused and angry, but faced up to his problems and fears, just so the one he loved would accept him." Bakura only looked away, crossing his arms. "You love Ryou. You know you do, but right now, you're very, very angry at him for what he's done."

"He slept with Malik." Bakura mumbled, staring at the wall. "He… He…"

"It's not the end of the world." Sanami said gently. "I know it may seem like it, but it's not. Ryou made a mistake, and I bet you he's really sorry about it."

"Go ask him then." Bakura growled. "Bet you he's not. Bet you he's with Malik right now-"

"I'm not your go-between." Sanami said firmly. "If you wish to find out, Bakura, then I am sure he would be happy to come over-"

"NO!" Bakura shook his head, his eyes wide in alarm. "No! I don't want him here. I-I don't want anyone here. I don't want you here either. Go away Sanami, just go away and leave me alone right now, I swear, or I'll-"

"Bakura." Sanami said gently. "I'll leave. I'll go right now. But in order for me to do so, you have to do one thing." Bakura eyed her in suspicion. "I'm going to come back tomorrow, and when I do, I want you to give me three reasons why you and Ryou shouldn't get married. Just three. And _I_ bet you can't." Before Bakura had a chance to speak, Sanami stood up, and turned around.

"W-Well, fine!" Bakura snarled as Sanami left, followed, by the nurse. "I can think of three things right now! One, he _cheated_ on me! Two, he was going to let me die! Three… Uh, three…" Sanami just shut the door.

"Is he always like that?" The nurse asked, letting out a long sigh. Sanami nodded, giving the blonde a wry smile.

"Worse." She sighed. "You have_ no_ idea what he used to put me through."

* * *

Ryou sighed as the flash of lightning arced across the pitch black sky. He was sitting in his bedroom, curled up in the middle of the bed, his arms around his knees. The teenager was shaking, his head resting on his knees. The whole house was totally silent, save the loud crashes of thunder that practically shook the house, and Ryou's odd little whimpers.

He'd always hated thunder. Whenever thunder or lightning occurred, Ryou would hide in Bakura's arms, or failing that, Malik's, until it was all over. But now, due to his own stupidity, Ryou was completely alone. No Bakura, no Malik. It was almost like last year, all over again, with Malik overseas, and Bakura hating and abusing him.

_But I made it then_. Ryou lifted his head from his knees, staring at the bedspread. _I lived. I managed to pull myself through, even though I was so depressed. What happened to me since then? I must have gone soft, if I can't handle being alone any more. Bakura must have made me soft. How oddly ironic. _Ryou bit hard on his lip, and flopped onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

_I was alone back then. And I was... I wasn't totally okay, but I lived. Why can't I do that again? I always loved my own company. Bakura's not going to hate me forever, he **can't**_._ And when he realizes what a mistake he made, I'll accept him with open arms. Of course I will. He had a really bad knock to the head, he's probably issues with his rationality or something. He must do. Bakura loves me. He loves me more than anyone else in the world, and I feel just as strongly for him. All we have is each other... He's not going to break it... He can't._

Ryou rolled over and stared at the wall. _Everything is going to be fine._ Ryou closed his eyes, letting out a low sigh. It was going to be okay, it was going to be okay.

But it really wasn't.

* * *

Ryou was terrified as he stared at the white door to Bakura's room.

_What if I'm being to sudden? It's only been a few days since Bakura woke up, I might be a bit too rash coming in here..._

_No. Bakura might be going home this afternoon, for all I know. I have to go in_. Ryou grasped the doorhandle, and turned it.

At first, Ryou thought Bakura was asleep. He was lying on the bed, so still, but then the whitenette saw Bakura's eyes were open. The yami cast a fleeting glance over to Ryou, and looked back at the television. He froze a moment later, and sat straight up.

"You." He seethed. Ryou bit on his lip hard as he closed the door behind him, and started walking across the room. "Why the hell are you here?"

"I-I came to see you." Ryou's voice was tiny, and Bakura could see he was shaking. "I-"

"Get out!" Bakura threw the blankets off of himself, and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Ryou gasped, and took a step back. "Get the _fuck_ out of here Ryou, now!" The whitenette squeaked as Bakura jumped out of the bed, stalking across the room. Bakura easily grabbed Ryou's shoulders before he had the chance to move, and shoved Ryou up against the wall.

"L-Let me go…" Ryou whispered pathetically, looking down. "P-Please…"

"Listen to yourself!" Bakura raged. "You've always been so weak, Ryou! I don't know why I ever even bothered with you!"

"B-Because you love me…" Ryou whispered, trembling. The yami growled, and raised his hand. Ryou squeaked, and looked away as he was slapped hard across the face, the sound reverberating around the room.

"I do _not._" Bakura spat angrily. Ryou whimpered, closing his eyes. "How can _anyone _love a worthless _slut_ like you?" Ryou shook his head weakly, tears filling his eyes.

"I'm not." Ryou moaned weakly, Bakura's hands tightening on his shoulders. "I-I'm not-"

"_SHUT UP!"_ Bakura roared, seeing red. "You are Ryou! You are and you know it!" Ryou shook his head. "YES!" The yami hit Ryou again, shaking in his rage. He felt no sympathy at all for the teenager- All he felt was anger and hate towards him.

"No! I'm not!"

"_Yes!"_

The nurse, who was walking down the hallway, stopped. She turned and stared at Bakura's door, frowning. She could hear Bakura yelling in there, and then the sharp slap… Her eyes widened, and she too a step back.

"Security!" The woman turned and ran back down the hallway. "Ack! Where are you?"

"Yes you are!" Bakura screamed, reinstating his point. "You are and I hate you Ryou, I hate hate _hate _you!" The yami drew back his fist, and slammed it into the teenagers' stomach, again and again. Ryou screamed as he was punched in the stomach, and started coughing.

"No…" He whispered, gasping for air. "Y-You c-can't…"

"Oh my God!" Bakura looked up as the door was pushed open. Two nurses and a beefy security guard stood on the threshold. Bakura swore, and turned back to Ryou. He managed to punch the teenager hard in the nose before the security guard grabbed onto his arms, dragging Bakura away from the teenager, who yelped, holding his hands over his nose.

"_Fuck_ you, Ryou!" Bakura screamed, struggling against the older, stronger man. "You fucking listen to me. I'm leaving this shit hole as soon as I control these headaches, and when I do, you _better _be out of my fucking house." Ryou froze, his hands over his nose, and his heart sank.

"You _gave_ it to me!" His voice was hoarse, and sounded stuffy from his nose. "Y-You said-"

"It's _my_ house!" Bakura still struggled against the man. "I paid for it and I want you out by the weekend!" Ryou shook his head, starting to sob. A nurse tried to move his hands away from his face to see his nose, but the whitenette resisted.

"Wh-Where am I going to go?" Ryou whispered, his shoulders shaking with sobs. "P-Please, B-Bakura, you c-can't do this to me."

"I can and have!" Bakura raged. "Go and live with your fucking father! Or you could live with your _boyfriend_ that slut Malik-"

"He's not!" Ryou screamed desperately. "Please, just listen to me-"

"Piss off Ryou!" Bakura screamed. "I never _ever _want to see you again!" The yami dug his heels into the floor in resistance, but failed. "Let _go _of me!"

"Come on Ryou…" The nurse gently took Ryou's arm, leading him out of the room. Ryou complied, in a daze.

"Come on buddy." The security guard puffed. For his tiny size, Bakura was _strong._ "Let's just make this easier for everyone, okay?"

"_Fuck off!" _Bakura only raged, doing his best to stamp on the guards toes, but with his bare feet and light weight, he did almost nothing.

"Bakura." The blonde nurse said despairingly. "Please, just calm down. Ryou's gone, okay? If you stress yourself too much, you'll-"

"Shut up!" Bakura merely snapped, glaring at her. "Shut the fuck up _now! _Why can't everyone just leave me alone!" He tried to elbow the guard in the side, but the man merely wrapped his arms around Ryou's chest. "Let me go!"

"Bakura, I don't want to sedate you, but if you don't calm down-"

"Don't you come near me with that shit!" Bakura screamed. "Just piss off!" Ryou's appearance in his room had made him so _angry_. His heart was pounding, and he shook everywhere. Bakura had lost control of himself, and he knew it.

"Bakura-"

"Just leave me alone!" Bakura pleaded, trying to claw at the mans arms, but failing, because his usually long and sharp fingernails had been clipped right back in his coma. "I just wanna be alone, why can't people understand that?"

"Bakura!" The nurse said firmly. "Please, lie down, before you induce a-"

"_Shut up!"_ Bakura yelled, struggling madly. "Shut up, you stupid bitc-"

"Hey!" Bakura gasped as the security guard lifted his skinny frame right off the floor. "You watch your mouth!"

"You fuck up too!" The yami screamed. His head started throbbing, however, and he was started to feel sick. The nurse blinked as she noticed Bakura's eyes dulling, just a little, and her brow furrowed in concern.

"Bakura-"

"Go away!" Bakura yelled, albeit weakly, his head bowed. "I… Just go away…" The nurses eyes widened in alarm.

"Let him go." She instructed the security guard. The large man paused. "Now!" He shrugged, but released his hold on Bakura, anyway. The yami tumbled to his feet, and grasped the edge of the gurney tightly.

"What the hell-"

"Bakura." The nurse said. "Are you okay?" Bakura growled, his legs shaking. It was really starting to hurt, and the unpleasant churning in the pit of his stomach. "Bakura?"

"I'm gonna be sick." Bakura groaned, clutching at his flat stomach. The nurse bit her lip, looking up at the security guard.

"Get the basin on the beside table." Bakura gasped, bowing his head as the sick, churning feeling rose in his stomach. The guard grasped the shiny bowl, and held it over Bakura's head. The nurse barely had time to gather Bakura's hair out of his face before he threw up, emptying the contents on his stomach into the bowl. The yami's knees buckled, and he almost fell over, but the guard looped an arm around Bakura's tiny waist, keeping him upright. Bakura let out a long, shuddering sigh, his head feeling as though it was being split in two with an axe. It hurt so _much_.

"Fuck." Bakura groaned hoarsely, pushing the bowl away weakly. "Let me go." The guard raised an eyebrow, looking at the nurse. The blonde took the bowl away, placing it back on the bedside table for the meantime, before nodding. The guard managed to dump Bakura on the bed first, though, his long legs dangling over the side.

"You have to be able to give me something." Bakura muttered, his voice weak and hoarse and his hands shaking. "There has to be _something_."

"I'm sorry." The nurse said gently. "We've talked about this, Bakura. There's nothing we can do."

"There has to be." Bakura whispered, his head now in his hands. "It hurts so _much_." The nurse sighed.

"You can go now." She said to the guard. "He's not going to be a threat to us any more." The guard nodded, leaving the room. "Bakura." She tried again, turning to the yami. "Is there any way I can help you?"

"Morphine." The yami muttered. "That stuff is fucking _magic._" The nurse's eyes widened.

"Um… Not if it sounds like you're an addict, Bakura, and it sure-"

"_Give_ it to me." Bakura struck, and with his lightning-fast reflexes, grabbed the front of the nurses' uniform, dragging her up a little so they were eye level. The nurses' eyes were wide in shock, her mouth falling open. "_Now." _Bakura's voice was no longer loud, and angry, it was low, and deadly.

"I-I can't." The nurse pleaded, his her hands shaking. "Please, Bakura, you can't, it's something very easy to get addicted to-"

"I don't care!" Bakura hissed. "You have to give it to me, I can't _take_ this-"

"I can't!"

"You have to!" Bakura's hands clenched tighter into the sheets for a moment, before he slapped the nurse hard across the face. The blonde froze, before raising a shaking to the side of her face. Bakura growled, his hands shaking he pushed the nurse away. The blonde gasped, stumbling, and falling onto the floor. She was in shock as she pushed herself back into a sitting position, and looked up at Bakura. The yami pushed himself off of the bed, standing over the nurse. She gasped, and scooted back on her rear for a few feet, before managing to stand up, dazed.

"B-Bakura…" She gasped, the side of her face stinging. The white-haired man only growled, his head thudding as he took a step towards her. The nurse started hyperventilating as she backed over towards the door, fumbling with for the doorknob.

"Hey!" Bakura's eyes widened as the nurse opened the door, and ran into the hall. He lunged, but the nurse managed to lock the door, her heart thudding. She felt numb. Bakura had hit her. It just didn't seem possible at all. She sank into one of the gray plastic chairs that lined the walls, staring at her shaking hands. Assaulting a nurse. That was easily a few months in jail, if she wanted to press charges. Sanami had warned her that Bakura was extremely unstable.

But she never expected _this._

* * *

"I'm okay." Ryou said dully, wincing as the nurse prodded at his nose. The brunette sighed, and took a step back. "It's stopped bleeding." Ryou lowered his gaze to his knees, his heart a rock in the pit of his stomach.

"I can't believe he would do this to you." The nurse muttered gently, brushing a lock of chestnut hair out of her eyes. "It's so _cruel_."

"It's not the first time." Ryou said softly, twisting his hands together. "H-He used to b-beat me up on a daily basis, I'm kind of used to it…" The brunette blinked, her eyes wide. She opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the door to the nurses' lounge opening.

"Man…" The black-haired woman walked across the room, and over to the lockers. "I am _so _glad to go-" She froze, staring at Ryou. "What the heck? What's he doing in here?"

"Oh. Well, I needed to check him over after-"

"We're not allowed to bring anyone in here." She pressed on, frowning. "I can't bring my husband in here even if he's a freaking café staff here. You can't-"

"It's Ryou." The brunette cut in, looking over at the whitenette for a moment. The black-haired woman froze, letting go of the locker.

"Really?" She blinked. "You're Ryou? Wow! I've heard so much about you, you must be so happy!" The teenager frowned slightly.

"Why?" He inquired. H-How do you know about me?" He turned his head over to the brown haired nurse, who looked at the table. "Have the nurses been gossiping about me?"

"We gossip about everything." The black-haired nurse reassured Ryou, closing her locker door, her handbag swinging idly from one hand. "Don't worry. But we all thought it was so _sweet!_ No one's ever hung around over a coma'd patient like that and been so fathful-"

"I _haven't._" Ryou sounded close to tears, skidding his chair back a little bit. "I… I…" Ryou just couldn't say it. Instead he stood up, turning away from the nurses. "I have to go." He started to walk out of the lounge, shaking.

"Ryou-"

"I have to go." The whitenette repeated. "I-I won't come back here again. I… I hoped that Bakura would have forgiven me, but-"

"What's going on?" The black-haired nurse's eyes widened in alarm. "What did I miss?"

"Ryou." The other nurse pleaded. "Please stay. I'll try and sort this out-"

"It's beyond sorting out." Ryou shook his head, looking down at the floor. "Bakura's made it clear what he thinks of me…" The whitenette opened the door, and stepped over the threshold, closing it behind him. Before Ryou was shocked and extremely upset about Bakura's anger. Now, he was just hollow and emotionless. "I have to go and find out a place to stay…" He started walking down the hallway. His stomach ached fiercely, his cheeks stung, and his nose throbbed, but the pain didn't really seem to register with Ryou. He just felt numb. He walked down the corridor like a zombie, his limbs shaking. Bakura hated him. Malik left him. Ryou only had one place to go, and he wasn't sure that he would be entirely welcome there, but what choice did he have?

* * *

"Yami."

Ryou was taken aback as the door was opened, to find the Egyptian standing on the threshold. Yami only frowned slightly, his hand grasping the door knob.

"Bakura, are you okay?" He asked, tilting his head to one side slightly. "You look awful, and your nose… What did he do?" Yami's eyes narrowed. Ryou's blinked, chewing on his lower lip.

"He…" Ryou looked away. "I-I need to talk to Yugi, where is he?"

"Something about study with Anzu… I'm not sure. Bakura, don't change the subject. What did he do to you?"

"I…" Ryou was close to tears again. "I went to the hospital after school. I-I wanted to talk to him, a-and see where he was… He got really angry at me and told me to go away and he never wanted to see me." He gave a soft hiccup. "A-And then he started hurting me really badly and then he yelled at me and now I have to move out and… And…"

"What?" Yami gasped. "He kicked you out of your house? How dare he?" Ryou's chin trembled and he looked away. "Oh, Bakura… Are you all right?" The whitenette shook his head weakly, trying so hard not to cry. "Oh… Come in, definitely…" He held the door open for Ryou, who stepped over the threshold, shaking. "Come sit down… I'll get Yugi's grandfather to make you a hot drink and you can tell me everything…" Ryou nodded weakly, his knees giving out and he sank into the couch, trembling all over. "Okay." Ryou stared down at his knees as Yami walked back into the room, feeling the couch sink as he sat down. "Do you wanna explain everything to me?"

"I-I…" Ryou tried, but he just broke down. Yami's brow furrowed in concern as the whitenette buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking with sobs.

"Oh…" Yami sighed, biting his lip. Tentatively, he stretched out his hands, unsure of what to do in this situation. Cautiously, he placed a hand on Ryou's shoulder, before sliding it across his back. Ryou leaned into the careful embrace, sobbing weakly. All Yami could feel as he held the crying light gently was white-hot anger towards Bakura. He was initially shocked at what he did, but now Yami just realized that this reinforced what he knew all along, that Bakura was just a cold heartless bastard.

"I can take care of him." Yami muttered a minute or two later, staring down at Ryou. "You know I-"

"No." Ryou said weakly, shaking his fluffy white head. "I-I don't want him to die, Yami. I don't want you to hurt him at all… Even if he's cast me away, I-I still l-love him…" He collapsed into fresh sobs, burying his head in Yami's shoulder. The Egyptian could only sit on the couch, his arms tentatively wrapped around Ryou's shoulders. He didn't know how to react to this. Yugi had only ever broken down in tears once, maybe twice over the past few years. Yami could handle that, being so close to the teenager. He thought nothing at all of being affectionate towards Yugi, his best friend and person he cared about most in the world. But Ryou… That was totally different.

"Why not?" Yami raised his eyes to the ceiling. "He deserves it. I've been battling with this for so long, Bakura. I was always so uncomfortable with having him around. But I never hurt him, because of you." Ryou sniffed, still shaking. "Yugi convinced me about how upset you would be if he was gone. But if he's left you Bakura-"

"No!" Ryou blurted out, shaking his head emphatically. "Y-You can't, Y-You can't…" Yami sighed, biting his lip.

"Okay." He relented quietly. "I'll stay away from him if that's what you want Ryou-"

"I-I do…"

"Okay." Yami sighed, still holding Ryou has he cried. The teenager's body was wracked with soft sobs, and he clung weakly to his shirt. "It's okay…" Yami's hand shook, just a little, as he started rubbing small circles in Ryou's back. "Please Bakura… It's gonna be okay… You don't have to be upset like this. Yugi and I are going to help you through this. And so will all the others, too."

"I'm just so scared." Ryou whispered. "What's going to happen to me now? I-I've just got nowhere to go or anything…" Yami sighed.

"You know you can stay here, Bakura." He said gently. "Yugi won't mind. You're in a bit of trouble, obviously. You can stay here as long as you need to."

"I-I wouldn't for long…" Ryou whispered, his heart lifting a little in relief. He wasn't going to be tossed out on the streets, or forced to go back to his father. "I-I was terrified I would be homeless… Or worse, with Dad…"

"We wouldn't do that to you." Yami said gently. "Yugi wouldn't let that happen to you at all."

"I-I'll just stay until I can get my own place, I promise." Ryou said softly. "I-I wont outstay my welcome or anything, I-"

"Bakura." Yami said firmly. "You don't have to keep on, really. You can stay."

* * *

Ugh. WHY did that come off feeling all Yami/Ryouish? Because it's not.

Really. I would rather shoot myself.

XD

R&R!


	16. Chapter 16

Hey hey! XD Pretty!

Okay... I'm having issues, where this site doesn't support the .docx format of MS Word 2007, and it's pissing me off. Does anyone else have this problem?

Discalimer: I no own. You no sure

* * *

"You."

Bakura jumped as Sanami entered the room, slamming the door. He shifted his gaze from the television, and looked over to her. The woman was silent as she walked across the room, throwing two paper bags on Bakura's bed. Clothing bags.

"Get dressed." She turned around, staring at the wall, crossing her arms. Bakura blinked, staring down at the bags.

"Why?" He frowned. "I thought I didn't get to go home til-"

"Get dressed." Sanami snarled, but didn't turn around. Bakura's eyes narrowed.

"Hey, you _watch_ how you talk to me, Sanami. You're lucky I don't smack you one, or worse-"

"Don't." Sanami muttered, clenching her hands into fists. "Don't, Bakura. Just put on the damn clothes."

"Fuck." Bakura muttered as he opened one of the bags, and peered in. "What got up your nose, huh?" Sanami growled, rubbing at her temples. "Okay, whatever." Bakura pulled on the black tee-shirt and baggy jeans. "These pants are way to- Oh." He pulled out the thin belt, and slid it through the loops, buckling it around his waist.

"You decent yet?" Sanami asked, staring at the white wall. Bakura looked down at himself, and nodded.

"Yeah." He muttered, wiggling his toes_. I have no shoes though... Oh well_. "Where are you taking me?" He looked up to Sanami, who just wore that same cold expression.

"Just follow me." She muttered, walking over to the door. Bakura frowned, but complied, wobbling just a little on shaky legs.

"It feels odd to be out of that hospital gown..." He muttered, smoothing out the shirt. "Where are we going again?"

"Just follow me." Sanami muttered again, stalking down the hallway. Bakura blinked, but obeyed, biting on his lower lip as he followed the woman. The yami walked down the long hall, two flights of stairs, and finally, through the main reception, until he was outside.

"Shit." Bakura muttered, staring around him. It was the first time he had been outside in _ages_. The air was so fresh, and... damp, holding a strong promise of rain.

"Come on." Sanami started walking down the sidewalk, still not looking at Bakura. The yami followed her, dodging slightly through the traffic flow of people. "Hurry up."

"I am." Bakura started to puff, blinking rapidly. "It's a bit hard when you've barely got the hang of walking- Sanami slow _down!"_

"_You_ speed up!" Sanami retorted, seething as her high heels clacked against the sidewalk. "My cars' just ahead." Bakura groaned, and paused for a moment, doubling over, his hands on his knees. He sped up again as he saw Sanami unlock the door of a silver Honda, slowing down as he approached the car.

"Where are we going-"

"Just get in." Bakura frowned.

"NO! I'm not going to get in, Sanami! I'm not moving until you tell me what the hell is going on and why you dragged me out of the hospital!"

"Because I had to take you out to talk to you!" Sanami slammed the car door behind himself as she sat in the bed. "Get in the car."

"Whatever." Bakura grumbled as he wandered around the side of the car, opening the door.

"You're out of control Bakura." Sanami sighed as she started to back the car out of the park. "I didn't want to talk about it where people are watching and listening... And you need a walk." The yami only rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat. "And put your seat belt on, I'm not getting a ticket."

"I am _not_ out of control." He muttered, crossing his arms and staring out the window as they started to move. "Who the hell told you that?"

"Oh, I don't know, Bakura!" Sanami snapped. "Try the nurse you _assaulted_ yesterday afternoon! Do you _want_ to go to jail? Because that's what will happen if she presses charges. You're lucky she isn't-"

"Oh stop it." Bakura rolled his eyes. "Next thing you know, you're going to start about Ryou-"

"_Speaking_ about that." Sanami snarled. "Why on earth did you beat him up, Bakura? What were you thinking? I told you to leave him alone-"

"I did!" Bakura shot back. "He was the one that came into my room, and then started blubbing all over the place about us, and ugh. I had to shut him up. He just pisses me off so much!" The yami's hands clenched into fists.

"You can't lash out at people that annoy you, Bakura. Didn't you learn anything from those sessions last year?" The white-haired man shrugged, lifting his feet up to the dashboard. "Hey! Get your feet off of there!"

"They're clean." Bakura smirked, wiggling his white toes. "You never got me any shoes." Sanami groaned, resting her head on the steering wheel.

"My patience is wearing _this_ thin." She muttered. "I don't have to help you, Bakura. This is completely my own choice. I only want to help... And the State is paying me a little bit for counselling... The point is, Bakura, I know what you're trying to do, and it's not working. So stop. Just stop."

"You think you know?" Bakura snarled. "You think you know me, Sanami? You don't. You don't know a thing about me. There's things that I haven't told you. Shitloads of things, that I haven't told anyone. I know you think that you think you know everything about how my mind works, but here's some news- You don't. So stop thinking you can get into my head, and _leave me alone._" Sanami only stared straight ahead at the road, but Bakura could see her hands trembling on the steering wheel.

"I'm not going to let you throw your life and love away over one mistake, Bakura. Do you think I haven't dealt with this situation before? I had a couple where the husband was cheating on his wife three times a month, and they're fine now. Cheating is a part of life. It's Ryou's vulnerability and Malik's manipulation that's to blame, and you know it-"

"_Shut up!" _Bakura raged, holding his head on his hands. "Don't. Don't do it. Just stop. Stop stop stop stop stop! I don't want to hear about any of your other fucking patients and I don't want to hear about either of those two! I just want people to leave me alone!"

"We're here." Sanami said blankly, pulling the car into a park and switching it off. "Get out." Bakura blinked, staring out the window.

"But it's just a park..." Bakura blinked. "Why the hell are we here?"

"Just get out." Sanami muttered, opening the door and slamming it behind her as she stood up. Bakura sighed, but since she was his only ride back to the hospital, and he didn't think he could walk back without passing out, he complied. "Good."

"Why are we here?" Bakura repeated as Sanami started walking into the park. "We're not meeting Ryou, are we?"

"No." Sanami muttered. "I said I wasn't going to be your go-between anyway, Bakura. You need to have a lot more exercise, you have to understand. Your legs have been totally immobile for almost ten months, the muscles are pretty much screwed... Weren't you signed up for physiotherapy?" Bakura only shrugged, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Already, his legs were starting to tremble from the effort, and the car was still in view. What was Sanami planning...

"How long do we have to walk for?" Bakura muttered, staring at the ground. It was starting to rain, the first tiny droplets landing on his head. "It's boring."

"We can talk if you like." Sanami offered, looking over at Bakura as he walked. The yami only snorted. "I did want to talk to you, you know."

"What about." The yami muttered, staring down at his bare feet as he padded across the slowly dampening grass. "It better not be about Ryou-"

"It's not." Sanami said quickly. "I wanted to talk a bit about your... Your parents." Bakura froze, pulling up short in his walk, and turning to look at Sanami. The psychiatrist slowed to a stop, gently biting on her lower lip. "I just-" She stopped as Bakura started running, his bare feet sliding slightly all over the wet ground. "Bakura!" She groaned, rubbing at her temples. "Come on..." She sighed as Bakura's feet thudded against the damp grass as he ran.

Bakura didn't even really know why he was running anymore- He just wanted to get away from Sanami. No _way _was he going to utter a single word about his parents. He couldn't. The last time he had, Bakura had completely broken down in front of Sanami, and it had embarrassed him so _much_. The yami continued to run, despite his legs trembling, feeling like jelly. There was a large soccer field in the middle of the park, and Bakura was halfway across, before his knees buckled, and he sank to the ground, holding his head in his hands. He moaned softly, gasping for air, his legs shaking and burning.

"Bloody hell." Sanami sighed as she bent down and pulled off her shoes, starting to jog across the grass in bare feet. Bakura's breath came out in long, shaky gasps, and he closed his eyes. _Don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it..._

_But what would they say if they saw what I was doing?_

Bakura swore, and his bit on his lip hard. _Damnit!_ He shook his head, rubbing at his nose. _Damnit..._

"Bakura?" Sanami bit her lip as she approached the yami, her high heels in one hand. "Are you okay? It was only a suggestion, we don't have to talk about them if you don't want to." Bakura was silent, his head bowed.

_They would be angry at me for being so cruel... I know it. They would tell me to get over myself. Well... My father would be happier about me marrying a woman and carrying on the line, but still..._ Bakura lifted his head back, arching his neck as a few drops of rain pelted on his face.

"Bakura?" Sanami repeated, crouching down beside him. The yami didn't look at her- He kept his face turned up to the sky. The psychiatrist bit her lip when she realised Bakura's shoulders were shaking, and it wasn't just drops of rainwater trickling down his cheeks. "Ohh..."

"Go away." Bakura groaned, shaking his head. "Just... Just... Just piss off." Sanami sighed as she stretched out a hand, tentatively resting her fingers on Bakura's shoulder. The yami froze, before angrily pushing the psychiatrist away, Sanami gasping as she tumbled onto the wet grass.

"Bakura." She sighed, making a face as she stood up. The woman looked down at Bakura, her eyes full of pity.

"Why did you have to bloody mention them!" Bakura raged, staring up at the woman. "I _told_ you what happens to me every time I think about them, but _no,_ you just had to go and run your mouth off and-"

"Bakura." She said firmly. "Stop. I do know what happens, okay? I was only trying to- You know what? Forget it. Forget I bloody said anything. Why are you continuously refusing to open up with me, Bakura? I'm only trying to help-"

"I don't need your help!" Bakura snarled as he raged, turning around and staring up at Sanami. He leaned forward onto his hands, and slowly, labouredly, tried to stand. He managed to have his feet planted on the ground, and started walking away from Sanami. His legs were still shaking however, and it was only a few steps before Bakura collapsed onto the grass, swearing.

"You do." Sanami took a step towards Bakura, her shoulders sagging. "Look at yourself, Bakura. You're a total mess. I know you hurt, and I want to help you stop hurting. Why wont you just let me help you?"

"I don't need it!" Bakura yelled, before holding his head in his hands. "I-I don't need it..." He mumbled weakly.

"Then what do you want?" Sanami asked gently as she crouched down beside Bakura. The yami was silent for a long time, his legs drawn up to his chest. "Bakura?"

"I-I..." He swallowed. To his eternal shame, tears pricked at the back of his eyes again. "I want things back to how they used to be. I-I want... I just w-want..." He buried his face in his hands, shaking. The rain grew heavier, and Bakura's hair and clothes were slowly getting soaked. Sanami bit her lip hard, and tentatively placed a hand on Bakura's shoulder. The yami wrapped his arms around his legs, fiercely burying his face in his knees. "I want things to go back... I wanna go back..." Sanami's hand was still on Bakura's shoulder as he cried, gently rocking himself back and forth.

"I know you do." She said gently. "And I want to help you go back, Bakura. I want to help you build your life back up. But you have to let me in. You have to trust me... Can you do that?" Bakura sniffed, lifting his head up slightly. It rained heavily, and the road on the other side of the park was abandoned, except for a lone motorcycle on the corner.

"Piss off." He muttered weakly, glaring out at the road. "I don't need your help." Sanami sighed, staring at Bakura's hair. "It's not gonna go back, so trying is pointless. And get your bloody hand off me." Sanami sighed deeply, and withdrew her hand from Bakura's shoulder.

"Please-"

"Shut up." Bakura muttered, leaning forward on his hands again. "Just shut up Sanami. Shut up and stop trying to help me!" After considerable effort, Bakura had managed to stand up. He turned away from Sanami, and started to shakily walk away from her.

"Bakura..." Sanami stood up, and started following the white-haired yami. "Come on, please. You're going to exhaust yourself..."

"Fuck off." Bakura sped up, looking away from Sanami. The yami's legs were trembling again, but he managed to keep himself up, despite the burning pain in his skinny limbs.

"Bakura-"

"Fuck off!" Bakura spun around on his heel, his eyes blazing. Sanami took a step back, her eyes wide. Bakura clenched his hands into fists, gritting his teeth. "Just piss off and leave me the hell alone!"

"Bakura!" She snapped. "Listen to me! I only want you to become a better person! I only want you to get your life back and become a better person!"

"I don't _want_ to be a better person!" Bakura screamed, almost stamping his foot. "I like how I am! People don't understand that I'm not a normal person! I'm darkness and I'm rage and I'm evil and that's all I am! Love, and, and goodness, they don't come into the picture! That's not me! That's weakness and I'm not weak I'm not I'm not I'm not!" Bakura started walking down the pathway again, blinking back tears furiously. Sanami shook her head slowly, her shoulders slumping as she sighed.

"Oh Bakura." She sighed. "I know you had a screwed up childhood, and everything has gone so wrong for you. And that's accounted for so much of this anger. I only want you to express it differently, or maybe learn to control it, as opposed to bottling it up and letting it all out."

"I don't bottle it up!" Bakura yelled. "I say what I feel and people know that!" He kept walking, however, despite his legs, which were threatening to give out on him once more. "Can we just go back to the damn hospital already?"

"Okay, Bakura." Sanami gave up. "Whatever you say."

* * *

"Yami!" Yugi ran into the living room, his backpack dangling from one hand. "Sorry I'm late, but Jounouchi called us at Anzu's, and he's coming over soon. Anzu's just... Heading... In." He stopped in his tracks as he noticed what was going on in the living room- Yami, sitting gingerly on the couch, with Ryou curled up in his arms, crying. "What the heck?"

"Bakura went to the hospital to see _him._" Yami sighed heavily. "And, well... He beat Bakura up pretty bad."

"What?" Yugi gasped, dropping the backpack to the floor and running over to the couch, He perched on the coffee table, staring at Ryou anxiously. "Are you serious?"

"Y-Yeah." Ryou whispered weakly. His voice sounded stuffy from the crying, and his nose was red and swollen. "I-I shouldn't have gone... I-I just thought he might have calmed down..."

/_Can you take him?/_ Yami looked into Yugi's eyes as he metally spoke the works. Yugi bit his lip, and then nodded.

"Sure." He said easily, sitting on the other side of Ryou on the couch. "Bakura, come over here, Yami needs to help Anzu with the groceries. We got some snacks on the way over." Ryou nodded, sitting up straight with his head in his hands.

"Thanks." Yami muttered as he stood up, his hands in his pockets as he headed into the kitchen to help Anzu.

"Thanks." Ryou whispered as he lifted his head slightly, wiping at his eyes. "I-I'm okay now." He clenched his hands together, holding them over his mouth as he stared at the coffee table.

"You sure?" Yugi asked gently. "You look terrible... He must have really hurt you-"

"He kicked me out." Ryou muttered the words dully, his brown eyes flat and empty. Yugi froze.

"What?" He gasped, blinking. "How... What do you mean?"

"Our house." Ryou breathed. "The one Ba- The spirit bought for me. He told me that I have to leave." Yugi's eyes were wide, as he slowly shook his head.

"No... He can't do that!" He gasped. "That is so unfair!" Ryou shrugged weakly, sighing.

"That's it. It's all over." Ryou murmured weakly. "I... It's all over between us." Yugi let out a long sigh in sympathy. "E-Everything we ever had..." He blinked tears away. "It's gone." Yugi sighed as he wrapped an arm around Ryou's shoulders, who started to cry.

"It's going to be okay." Yugi said soothingly, biting his lip. "You can stay here as long as you like, Bakura, you know that. Yami's probably already said that to you." Ryou nodded weakly. "Please don't be upset. We're gonna try and sort this all out, okay?" The whitenette sniffed and nodded.

"Yeah, I-"

"Hi guys!" Anzu chirruped as she waltzed into the room, carrying a tray of soda's and crisps. "Bakura! Yami told me you were... Here..." She paused at the sight of the teenager crying softly, and put the tray of snacks down on the table. "Oh gosh... Bakura, what on earth is wrong?"

"Relationship issues." Yugi explained, rubbing Ryou's back sympathetically. Anzu frowned slightly.

"Relationship issues?"

"As in there isn't one anymore." Ryou whispered brokenly, his speech punctuated by his soft sobs and gasps. "It's... I've been kicked out of my house... I've got nowhere to go."

"Oh gosh." Anzu repeated, her eyes wide. "That's... I'm so sorry, Bakura. Do you want a soda or anything?" Ryou shook his head weakly, wiping at his eyes and nose.

"No... Ugh. I just feel so awful. I feel like I could sleep for a week." He closed his eyes, letting out a long sigh.

"I'll set up the guest room." Anzu jumped at the deep voice behind her, and turned to look at Yami, blushing slightly. "You can stay in there for as long as you need to."

"Th-Thank you." Ryou whispered weakly. "I-I appreciate what you guys have for me so much. I-I would never be able to make it without you guys." Yugi smiled weakly.

"That's fine." The shortest of the teens said gently. "What, like we would just leave you in the streets? You're our friend, aren't you?" Ryou sniffed. "And you need our help."

"I'll be back in a few minutes." Yami crossed the lounge to head into the guest room. "Do you get cold easy, Bakura? I'll get extra blankets. You'll need them anyway, this is such a cold spring..."

"You're so nice to me." Ryou whispered. "I-I don't know what I would do without you guys." Anzu and Yugi only shrugged, trying to smile.

"Heyy! Sorry I'm late, the lights were crazy as heck and that rain is hard to drive through..." Honda's helmet dangled from one hand as he walked into the lounge. "Guys?" He cocked his head to one side as he surveyed the scene. When his eyes settled on Ryou, he froze. "Bakura?" He tilted his head to one side. "But... I saw you at the park!" Honda was so confused at seeing Ryou, that it didn't click that he was in tears.

"Huh?" Ryou rubbed at his nose, bangs falling into his eyes. "I don't understand... When was I at the park?"

"I saw you!" Honda frowned. "In the middle of the soccer field... You were kneeling on the ground and crying and this lady was sitting next to you..."

"That wasn't me." Ryou shook his head. "I've been here for most of the afternoon..."

"But..." Honda was confused. "If it wasn't you, then..." Yugi's eyes widened, and he exchanged glances with Ryou, who lifted his head up properly, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"But... Ba- The spirit wasn't supposed to leave the hospital for ages... Are you sure it was him?"

"I thought it was you." Honda blinked. "They were really skinny... And you two are the only guys I know with long white hair..."

"Was the lady about my height, short-ish black hair?" Honda nodded. "Oh Gosh... It _was_ him... The spirit's lost about ten pounds from his coma... He was with Sanami." Yugi blinked.

"Who?"

"This lady... A therapist he used to see ages ago." Anzu arched an eyebrow.

"He saw a therapist?" Ryou dared to smile a little.

"Yeah... I know it sounds odd, but it was over a year ago... After the incident where he went to hospital." Ryou bit his lip. "I had no idea he was seeing her again."

"What's going on?" Yami asked as he walked back into the lounge. Ryou looked up, sighing.

"Honda saw the spirit at the park." Yugi explained, still rubbing Ryou's back. "He was with a counsellor, looking really upset." Yami blinked, taken slightly aback.

"But... He's evil." Ryou shook his head vehemently, starting to cry again.

"He's not." Ryou whispered, closing his eyes as fresh tears starting trickling down his cheeks. "He's not he's not he's not..." Yami sighed as he walked over until he was standing in front of the whitenette, looking down at the quivering form.

"You need sleep." He sighed, taking Ryou's hand, and helping him stand. "When was the last time you got an eight-hour sleep?" Ryou sighed, and looked away, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand.

"Months." He whispered, looking away. Yami groaned.

"Sleep now." He said, starting to lead Ryou out of the room. The whitenette complied, sighing deeply as his feet padded along the carpet. "Okay?"

"Yeah..." Ryou breathed as he was led into the small guest room. He sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at his feet. "Thanks."

"That's okay." Yami said as he turned away. "You going to be fine?"

"Yeah." Ryou said again, bending down to unlace his shoes. Yami nodded, and turned away, closing the door behind him. The room was dark, the only light coming from the small window, its curtains open. It was raining heavily outside, and Ryou could hear rumblings of thunder in the distance. The teenager pulled off his socks and jacket, before unbuttoning his school trousers. He slid under the sheets in his white shirt and boxers, nuzzling the pillow. This mattress was a far cry from the one he usually slept on, which was brand-new, and expensive, but Ryou was so drained, he didn't care. He rolled over so he was sleeping on his side, away from the door and facing the window, closing his eyes. The rain banged and clattered on the roof of the game shop loudly, and the laughs and cheers of Yugi and the others on the other side of the house slowly carried over, reaching Ryou's ears, but he was almost oblivious to the sound as he pulled the thick wad of blankets up to his nose.

_Why was Bakura upset and crying?_ Ryou couldn't help but ask himself. _Why was Sanami there? Is he feeling guilty about casting me away? Or is something else bothering him? Maybe when he got knocked in the head it did something to his brain and he's worse than ever. That's probably it. Yeah. Bakura made it clear that he doesn't love me. Why would he love something like me, anyways? I was always so weak and clingy._

If Ryou had any tears left, he would have cried. Instead, he remained curled under the sheets and blankets, staring at the rain as it cascaded thickly from the sky. He just felt so hollow and empty. His hope of being accepted by Bakura one day was all but extinguished. Only a tiny candleflame existed, but Ryou forced it away, drowned it, pretended it didn't exist.

Because it was over. There was no going back. The thought kept running through his head, and it made him sick. He just lay there in the bed, staring out the window, waiting for sleep to claim him.

* * *

Awwh, sad XD

But seriously. MS word WTF!?!? Who do I complain to!? I just paid uber big money for this and now I can't use it? T.T it beter not just be me.

R&R!


	17. Chapter 17

Here you go. Updateness! xD

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

"Sanami."

The psychiatrist blinked, and turned around. She was leaning against the doorframe to Bakura's door, her arms crossed. The yami was sprawled out across the bed, sleeping.

"Yeah?" She arched an eyebrow, her arms still crossed. The blonde nurse blinked.

"What are you doing there? I thought you had an appointment."

"Not for half an hour." Sanami murmured gently. She turned back to Bakura, biting her lip. "I'm not too keen on going... I'm not going to concentrate on my patients this afternoon."

"Why not?" The nurse cocked her head to one side. Sanami heaved a great, long sigh, her shoulders slumping.

"I give up." The woman breathed, tears filling her eyes. "I've tried everything to get Bakura to open up and accept Ryou into his life. But there's just too much hate. And it's not just directed towards Ryou, Bakura's forcing it on everyone." The nurse bit her lip, touching her bruised cheek. "He's... He's beyond saving."

"You can't say that." The nurse breathed. "He's not beyond saving, Sanami. You have to help him. He's never opened up to any doctor before, and he never will again. There has to be something you can do."

"There's not!" Sanami blurted out, clenching her hands into fists. "Bakura won't accept counselling, he won't take medication, he won't allow himself to be committed, he's just so damn _stubborn!"_ The woman bowed her head, trying not to cry. "I've never failed before. I've always managed to help my patients. I've always made them better. I've never had a lost cause before..."

"You have to keep trying." The nurse protested. "You can't just give up-"

"What else can I do?" Sanami's voice broke. "I've tried everything and it's hopeless. Bakura's hopeless. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved."

"No."

"I-I have to go." Sanami gave Bakura one last look before turning into the hallway. "I don't want to be late for this appointment. Make sure you arrange some bloody physiotherapy for him, too." She muttered, before starting to walk down the hallway. "He can barely walk, his legs are so bad."

"Sanami." The nurse whispered. "Please don't go just yet. I can wake up Bakura... You should at least say goodbye."

"What good would that do?" Sanami muttered. "Bakura's not like that. You don't understand how messed up he is, and what he's been through. I don't blame him for the way he turned out."

"Still." The nurse protested. "Can't you come over tomorrow? At least to say goodbye to him? Who knows, maybe it'll knock some sense into him that he has to improve his attitude."

"It won't." Sanami sighed wearily. "It'll only make him proud, to know that one of the best therapists in town has given up on him." She started walking again. "But I'll come over, I guess. Just one last time." The woman brushed at her eyes, before turning back to the nurse.

"See you tomorrow?" She asked. Sanami bit her lip and nodded.

"Yeah." She said softly. "See you."

* * *

Ryou bit down hard on his lip as he opened the bedroom door. He opened it slowly, however. Cautiously, only so there was a small crack for him to see through, across the hallway, and into the lounge. He'd heard his name being uttered, and it had sparked his attention.

"Poor Bakura." Anzu's voice. "It's really awful what's happened to him. How could anyone do that to him?"

"The evil spirit would." Yami. "I knew from the moment I heard about those two together, I knew it was fake." Ryou clenched his hands into fists. "It was obvious Bakura was being used."

"I thought it was real." Jounouchi muttered. "Bakura was so happy and everything... Guess I was wrong."

"Bakura was naive." Yami murmured. "And the spirit took advantage of that-"

"He did_ not_." Everyone jumped, and five pairs of heads turned to look at the slim whitenette in the doorway of the lounge. "H-How could you say that Yami? H-He didn't take advantage, And I'm not naive-"

"Bakura." Yami cut in. "Didn't you _ever_ think it was weird, the way he just switched from hate to love towards you so quickly?"

"He didn't." Ryou protested. "He never did-"

"He pretended to love you in order to break your spirit! He's evil and you know it-"

"No!" Ryou shook his head. "He's not. He's not he's not!" Tears filled his eyes. "You don't understand, Yami. Y-You c-can't even begin to understand-"

"Why did he cast you aside this time, Bakura? Huh?"

"Because I slept with Malik!" Ryou retorted. Yami froze.

"What..."

"You didn't tell him." Ryou looked over to Yugi, who was watching the exchange silently. The shorter teen shook his head, biting on his lower lip.

"That... Why?" Yami's brow was furrowed in a deep frown as he stared at Ryou. The whitenette bit his lip, looking away from the scrutinising gaze.

"I-I..."

"It's not as bad as it sounds." Yugi came to his friends rescue. "Bakura never wanted to at all, Malik forced him into it." Yami was still staring at Ryou.

"Still..."

"Exactly." Ryou's voice broke, and he blinked away tears. "If you were in a coma for a really long time, a-and your partner cheated on you with his best friend, you'd hate them too, right?" Yami opened his mouth, thought better of it, and closed it again. "That's what I thought." Ryou turned away, and all but ran back into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Nice one." Yugi gave the tactless man a withering look. "Make him feel even worse, why don't you?" He stood up, and crossed the living room.

"I didn't mean to!" Yami protested. "It just took me by surprise, is all... I didn't mean it like that." Yugi didn't respond. He gently knocked on the door, hearing sniffs, and sobs on the other side. The teenager sighed, and opened the door slowly. Ryou was curled up in the middle of the bed, crying.

"Yami's right." The teenager murmured weakly, staring at the duvet. "I-I'm a horrible person... I-I deserved everything I got..." Yugi let out a long sigh, and shook his head as he walked across the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Yami didn't mean that at all." He said firmly. "And Bakura, you know that's not true. You made a mistake, yeah, but you shouldn't be hurting like this." Ryou sniffed, wiping at his eyes.

"I-I've lost everything..." Ryou whispered. "M-My best friend, the one I love, my house... What am I supposed to do now?"

"You know we're all here to support you." Yugi said gently. "It's going to be okay. You stay here until you think you're ready to get your own place." Ryou sniffed, and nodded weakly.

"P-Part of me doesn't want to believe it's over." Ryou said softly. "Part of me just thinks this is all a sick dream and I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning and everything will be okay... I-I just want to wake up from this awful nightmare..." Ryou collapsed into the cold comfort of his knees, heartbroken.

"It's going to end up okay." Yugi tried his hardest to console the teenager. "He can't hate you forever... I mean, how long can he hold a grudge?"

"He's hated Yami's guts for over three thousand years." He muttered dully. "He can hold a grudge for a _very_ long time." Yugi opened his mouth to respond, when the click of the door opening disrupted him.

"I'm sorry Bakura." Yami muttered, leaning against the doorframe. "That came out really wrong. I don't think any worse of you at all. The others told me about what exactly happened." Ryou sniffed.

"I-It's okay." Ryou sighed as he laid down on his back, his arms behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. Yami bit his lip as he stared at Ryou, and froze when his eyes settled on the few inches of Ryou's stomach that was exposed from Ryou's shirt being lifted slightly.

"Bakura..." Yami muttered. "What's that on your stomach?" Ryou froze, and his eyes widened. Yami frowned as Ryou sat up quickly, wrapping his arms around his slim middle. "Bakura."

"N-Nothing." Ryou murmured weakly, looking down at the bedspread. "I-It's really nothing, Yami-"

"Cut it out." Yami said firmly. "I'm not blind, Bakura. Show me what's on your stomach." He glowered at the teen. Yami could be _very_ intimidating when he wanted to. Ryou bit his lip, but lay back down, and after a long time, he lifted up his shirt, exposing his flat pale stomach, which was marred with huge, painful-looking purple and black bruises. Yami's eyes widened, and Yugi winced.

"That bastard." Yami snarled, clenching his hands into fists. Ryou swallowed, and pulled his shirt back down. The teenager rolled over onto his side, away from the pair of males.

"C-Can I be alone, please?" Ryou inquired politely, squeezing the pillow tightly. Yami bit his lip, but nodded, casting a glance over to Yugi. "I-I'm still a bit tired..."

"Sure." Yami held the door open for Yugi as he left. "Just call out if you need anything, okay?" Ryou nodded weakly, still staring at the wall.

He burst into tears the moment the door was closed.

* * *

"Bakura."

The yami looked over from the television screen over to Sanami, who stood in the doorway.

"What do you want." Bakura sighed, idly toying with the remote in one hand. "I'm not in the mood." Sanami let out a long sigh, closing her eyes.

"I'm not staying long." She said gently. "I just came to say goodbye." Bakura froze, and sat up a little more.

"Goodbye?" He arched a silvery eyebrow. "Are you going away?" Sanami shook her head.

"No, I'm not going anywhere Bakura, I'm just... Not going to see you anymore." She shrugged weakly. Bakura narrowed his eyes.

"Why not?"

"Because apparently, you don't want or need my help." Sanami muttered. "I have tried to help you Bakura. I have done my bloody best you help you to become a more normal person. And I can't. You win. Isn't that what you wanted?" Bakura frowned.

"You're leaving me alone?" He asked, brushing his hair out of his eyes. Sanami nodded.

"Yes. I'm going, Bakura. You won't have to keep fighting with me, or put up with me, or tell me anything any more." Sanami blinked rapidly. "I thought I could help everyone, but I can't. You proved that to me." Bakura bit his lip.

"So that's it then." He muttered. "You're giving up. I'm that hopeless."

"You made yourself that hopeless, Bakura." Sanami said softly. "I tried to help, I did, and you wouldn't let me. It's a waste of both of our time to keep trying, so..." She shrugged. "You can always book in a time to chat with me if you want, I'm just not your counsellor anymore." Bakura was silent as she turned away, staring out into the hallway. "I just wanted to say goodbye, I guess. Have... Have a nice life, Bakura, if I don't see you again. Or at least, try to." Bakura was still silent, his gaze lowering to his knees. Sanami waited for a few more moments, but when it was clear that she was not going to get a reply, the woman started walking down the hallway, her high heels clacking against the linoleum and fading into the distance.

"Shit." Bakura groaned as he leaned back into the pillows, closing his eyes. So that was it then. Even his fucking therapist gave up on him. Bakura sighed as he rolled over onto his side, staring at the wall. The television was still on, but the yami paid no heed to it. It was about that moment when Bakura realised what a total asshole he was to everyone around him. Even when Ryou was with him, Bakura was still horrible to the teen at times, ordering him around and practically making him his slave. Bakura thought that he would have been proud of that, and he mainly was, but there was a little part inside him that felt really bad for the people who, when they tried to help him, just got it all thrown back into their face. _No wonder everyone hates me._

Bakura was still lying on his side when the blonde nurse entered the room. He froze at the sound of her shoes, and sat up.

"Good morning!" She chirruped, clutching a bundle of folded grey clothing. The yami raised an eyebrow.

"What's good about it." He muttered, lying down on his back, staring at the ceiling. "It's ten O'clock and already the day is shit. What have you got those clothes for? I'm not going anywhere."

"Yes you are." The nurse smiled. "You've been booked in for four hours of physiotherapy today." Bakura blinked, and sat up again.

"What." He snarled. "Nuh-uh. I'm not going to any fucking therapy."

"Do you _want_ to go home?" Bakura sighed. "Huh?"

"Of course I go." He snarled rolling his eyes. "But I'm not having any fucking therapy." He repeated, crossing his arms.

"You have to." The nurse stated. "You're not leaving the hospital until you've attended all twelve hours of your allotted physio. Sorry."

"Fuck you." Bakura growled, clenching his hands into fists.

* * *

"I don't really have much." Ryou's shoulders sagged as he stared around the house. "Ba- The spirit bought most of it. I-I mainly just have photos and some ornaments and things... The only furniture I really have is the furniture and the small television..."

"This is a really nice place." Yugi blinked as he stepped inside the lounge, staring around. "He really bought this for you?" Ryou bit his lip, and nodded weakly. "Wow. It must have cost a lot of money... How on earth did he pay for it?"

"How do you think." Yami muttered as he walked inside the house, carrying several large collapsed cartons that needed to be folded. "Stealing."

"It's weird to think I'm not gonna live here anymore." Ryou murmured gently. "I-I don't want to move again... I've moved so many times. I'm just sick of it."

"Bakura-"

"I'll be in the bedroom." The teenager said abruptly, turning around and walking across the lounge. Yugi let out a long sigh, and followed his friend.

"Do you think this is what I want to happen?" He said softly as he watched Ryou sort through his things on the top of the dresser. "I never liked the spirit, but you were so happy-"

"And I was out of your way." Ryou muttered, starting to gather his things and stack them up. Yugi froze.

"What?"

"I was out of your way." Ryou lifted his voice. "I wasn't around to annoy you. You didn't have to worry about me, a-and you never needed to pay any attention to me. It must have been so convenient."

"Bakura!" Yugi gasped, holding a hand over his mouth. "I... I _never_ thought of you like that! Not once! I always cared about you! I always worried. But you never spoke up. You never said that anything was wrong, so I just assumed that you were fine. If you ever wanted my attention, you can always just say so... I'm not a mind-reader, Bakura."

"I'm sorry..." Ryou breathed weakly, both of his hands planted on the dresser to support himself. "I-I didn't mean it... I'm just really stressed and upset right now." Yugi bit his lip, and stepped over to Ryou, placing a hand on the teens' slim shoulder.

"I know you are." He said comfortingly. "I'm really sorry this has happened to you, Bakura. You know I am." Ryou sniffed, wiping at his nose.

"I know..." Ryou whispered. "I just... I don't want this to happen. Everything's gone wrong for so long now. What if my relationship with him was the dream? A-and this _nightmare_ is what's real?" He sniffed, bowing his head. "I-I'm so scared, Yugi. I-I'm just so scared."

"Hey." Yugi said gently. "Bakura, you have to stop this. It's going to be okay. You have to stop freaking out about this. It's going to end up being okay. You have to trust me."

"But you don't know!" Ryou closed his eyes. "Don't you understand? H-How would you feel if the one person you ever loved, the one person that you were willing to spend the rest of your life with, never wanted to see you again? I-I don't feel that way for anyone else. I-I _can't_. That was it. Bakura was it. I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life now. Just me."

"Bakura." Yugi groaned. "You're sixteen. You're _not_ going to spend the rest of your life alone and you know it. You still have what, sixty years of life ahead of you?"

"Like I'm going to live that long." Ryou muttered. "It'll be just my luck if I'm dead before thirty."

"Now you're just being stupid." Yugi sighed, rubbing his temples. "I know you're really really upset Bakura, but you're going about this all the wrong way. Losing the Spirit's not the end of the world-"

"It's the end of _my _world!" Ryou blurted out, his eyes filling with tears. "You don't understand what I'm feeling, Yugi! Y-Y-You C-can't ever-"

"Bakura!" Yugi's exasperation and anger got the better of him, and he grabbed at Ryou's shirt, dragging him down and forcing the teen to look him in the eye. "Shut up and bloody listen to me! It's not the end of the bloody world! I'm not going to pretend that I know what it is you see in that kleptomaniac sadist, but I know that it's not going to kill you. It's _going_ to be the end of the world if you quit moping about it, but for Gods' sake, you knew it was over nine months ago! Why can't you bloody accept it!" Yugi was panting as he finished, his hands clenched tightly on Ryou's shirt. The whitenette was shaking, his eyes wide in fright. Yugi's eyes widened as he realised what he had just said to the fragile teen, and took a step back, trembling. Ryou slowly sank onto his knees, and held his hands over his face, shaking madly. "No... Oh Bakura, I didn't mean that at all, I just... Oh crap."

"You're right..." Ryou murmured tearfully, his face hidden in his hands. "You're completely right. I-I'm nothing but a big baby. A big melodramatic baby who has trouble letting go of the past."

"No..." Yugi sighed gently, shaking his head. "Bakura... I said those things because I want you to stop being so depressed about it all. I only want to see you happy and smiling again. Really, that's all."

"But..." Ryou sniffed. "I just don't feel like that. I-I don't think I can for a long time, Yugi. It's just..." He rubbed at his eyes. "It hurts so much, to think it's all over. I don't think I'm ever going to be okay."

* * *

"Hello?" Yami opened the door to the hospital ward, peering inside. His heart thudded in trepidation, and he was so _angry_ at the pain Bakura had caused. "Thief? Are you in there?" Silence. _Huh_. Yami stepped inside the room, looking around. No one at all. _Where is he?_ But it wasn't like it really mattered. Yami only had one job.

He walked towards the bedside table, his left hand groping around through his pocket. He finally withdrew the set of keys, biting his lip. Ryou's house keys. Yami's shoulders slumped in a long sigh as he set the keys down on the bedside table, and turned around. Most hospital rooms had cards, flowers, and little 'get well soon!' balloons. Bakura's room was empty. If it weren't for the unmade bed and the glass of water on the bedside table, Yami wouldn't have even guessed someone lived here. It was... sad. Really sad. Yami hated Bakura, sure, but it wasn't the sort of hate Bakura held for him. There was a lot of pity, very deep down. Ryou never told Yami about exactly _why_ Bakura harboured such a deep hate for him, but he suspected that something awful must have happened all those millennia ago. He knew it.

Yami closed the door behind him gently as he left the room, Ryou's keys to the shared house on the bedside table. Yami felt like he was closing the last door on their relationship.

It was horrible.

* * *

"You did very well today, Bakura."

"Oh piss off." The white-haired yami was shaking as he pulled himself back up onto his bed. He's absolutely _refused_ to be given a ride back into his room in a wheelchair, despite his previous four hours of intense physiotherapy. The nurse groaned, rubbing at her temples. "Yes?" Bakura crossed his arms. "What do you want?"

"What do _you_ want?" The nurse asked. "I'm sure you would like a bath after that... Or I can get you a ride to a shower-"

"I'm _fine." _Bakura snarled. "What I _would_ like, is for people to leave me the _fuck_ alone!" The nurse only sighed and turned away.

"We only mean well Bakura-"

"I don't care!" The yami growled. "Just piss off!" The nurse was silent as she left the room. "_Thank_you." He growled, flopping back onto the mattress, staring up at the ceiling. "Why can't people just leave me alone..." He muttered, turning over onto his side to stare out the window. The sun was low in the sky, brightly shining (It was sunny for the first time in over a week). In fact, it was shining so brightly, it lit up the set of house keys on the bedside table. Bakura frowned as he sat up, staring at the keys. He grabbed them, holding them up to his eyes so he could closely examine the different notches on the metal. They looked like his house keys, but his were gone...

_They're Ryou_'s.

Oddly, Bakura felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. He stared at the keys in his palm for almost ten minutes, without saying a single word, or moving a muscle. _Ryou's keys. They were dropped off here. That's it. Ryou's gone. He's left his keys here and he's not coming back._

_I don't want them._

Although Bakura's legs were shaking and burning, he managed to stand up, marching across the room to the window. He was on the fifth floor up, and it was a long way down. Not that Bakura was jumping. He stared at the windowsills, but there was no latch to open the window. No matter. Bakura drew his fist back, and rammed it into the window pane with all of his might. It hurt like hell. Bakura gasped, and took a step back. He looked over to the window, growling. There was no change at all. The window looked exactly the same.

Bakura snapped. He pounded his fist against the window again, over and over, his heart thudding and his hands shaking in anger. Finally long, spider-web like cracks started forming in the glass. Bakura smirked, and continued punching the glass, until tiny slivers from the pane managed to fall. It was slow going, however, to try and punch it down, so Bakura changed tack. He grabbed the keys, and selected the longest, and thinnest key. He drive it sharply into the centre of the long network of cracks, twisting it. Slivers of glass came away easily, until he had enough room to pull it apart with his hands.

Bakura didn't even know why he was doing it anymore. The yami just continued to yank away the shards of glass, making the hole wider and wider. The sharp angles of glass cut his fingers and palms, blood smearing over the glass, but Bakura ignored it, growling as he continued breaking the window. Without thinking, Bakura was driving tiny, sharp pieces of glass into his wounds. Finally, Bakura thought he had a hole large enough. He didn't want to just drop the keys out of the window. He wanted to throw them, to cast them away as far as possible. He didn't want that symbol of Ryou anywhere near him.

Bakura stared down at the set of keys in his hand, which was splattered with blood. There was a snarl on his face as he drew his fist back, flinging the keys out the broken window. They flew across the sky in an arc, the sun catching them. The keys flew all the way across the wide, busy road, and their flight was only broken when they clattered against the concrete of the building opposite the hospital. Bakura was shaking as he took a step back from the window, staring at where the keys had landed. His weak, quivering legs, exhausted from the hours of exercise and abuse, gave out on Bakura, and he collapsed to his knees on the floor. Bakura was forced to stare down at his hands which were covered in blood. He could see tiny shards of blood-coated glass, glimmering out at him. His anger had mainly dissipated, and all Bakura could feel was pain, how much his hands were hurting, and how his insides ached in disappointment. The yami bowed his head, trembling. Shards of glass cut into his knees through his grey trackpants painfully.

"Fuck." Bakura gasped aloud, staring up at the ceiling. He hated how he was feeling. Ryou was really gone. Bakura was probably not going to see him for a very long time, if, at all, ever maybe.

But he was a dirty cheating slut. Bakura had expected himself to be happy about Ryou leaving for good. But he didn't. He just felt awful. Sick even, deep in his stomach.

_Why?_

* * *

-sigh- R&R peoples! I guess -- 


	18. Chapter 18

EEEEEEeeee update! XD

I would have posted this sooner, but I wanted to wait until the e-mail alerts were back up. The way they're shutting on and off is really shitting me.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

"Oh dear lord!" Bakura said nothing as the blonde nurse yelped, standing in the doorway. "What on earth is going on?" The yami didn't answer her, still looking up at the ceiling. "Bakura?" The clipboard clattered to the floor as the nurse ran over to him, crouching. "What happened?"

"Fuck him." Bakura muttered, still looking at the ceiling. He had no other words. He didn't know what else to say at all.

"What?" The nurse breathed. Her eyes widened as she caught sight of Bakura's hands. "Oh God... Bakura your _hands_."

"Fuck him." Bakura repeated, his eyes starting to sting. It just hurt so damn _much_.

"I-I'll be back in a moment." The nurse stood up, her hands shaking. "I-I need to get help." Bakura closed his eyes as the nurse left, and a single, solitary tear slid down his cheek. Bakura's voice was broken, his breath trembling and he sounded close to tears. But his words were still full of that old venom, that _fire_.

"Fuck him."

* * *

Ryou sniffed as he turned another page of the diary. He'd forgotten just how many he had- his innumerable notebooks and journals filled one whole large box. Almost ten years of memories. Ever since Ryou learned how to write, he'd kept journals. At first, they were just basic recording of his day, but after the death of Amane and his mother, his journal entries changed drastically. And not for the better one bit.

Ryou had been holed up in his new bedroom for literally hours now, reading all of his journals in succession, and he was almost finished- Well, in comparison to all he had just read. He was reading his diaries from eighteen months ago- When he had just turned fifteen. When Bakura hated and abused him, but Ryou loved him back. And it was all they knew.

_I don't even know why I love Bakura like I do. He's always been nothing but cruel to me. Never, in all the years that I've known him, has he showed me a tiny fragment of kindness. Despite everything I do for him, he just totally ignores it. I cook and clean for him. I wash his clothes, I keep our shoebox apartment tidy. And for what? An angry spirit who enjoys hitting me and carving me up and generally making my life hell?_

_Why did I have to love __him__? I don't want to. I wish I didn't have to. It's so unfair. I question it all the time. But then I see him looking at me, and I see that smile... I know it's enjoyment at watching me suffer, but it still makes me feel all squicky inside. I lie awake at night and watch him sleep. Sometimes I daydream about being in bed with him- not like that, just sleeping with him. Having him hold me in his arms. Being pressed up against him as I slowly drift off into sleep..._

_Why__ did I have to fall in love with __him?__ Why him? What has it brought me? Nothing but these stupid fantasies. Its the only reason I hang around him. That, and the fear of what he would do to me if I tried to run away._

_What would Bakura said I loved him? He would probably throw a fit of rage and beat me. No he wouldn't. He'd laugh in my face. Probably spit in it. Then he'd walk away. Walk away and leave me to myself. He probably wouldn't come home for days._

"Heck." Ryou sighed to himself, breaking his gaze from the journal. "And after all that, Bakura knew. He knew the whole time I was in love with him and he never said a thing." Tears pushed at his eyes, but he managed to blink them away. Ryou rubbed at his eyes, then closed them. The mindlink was rusty at best, and Ryou didn't even knew if Bakura was listening on the other end, but it was worth a shot, wasn't it? "I know you were an asshole, but..." He sighed, trying to keep his mind open and his thoughts clear. "I stayed in love with you through those past times... I can't believe it was a year ago." Ryou leaned against the pillows, rolling over to his side. "The chance of us ever getting what we had it so slim... Even if you said you loved me and we got back together... It just wouldn't be the same." Ryou pressed his face in the pillow as he started to cry, his shoulders shaking. "Damn you Bakura!" He cursed tearfully. "Why did you have to do this to me? Why? What I had with you... It just seemed so pure. I couldn't see anything wrecking it. You _knew_ how hard I had it when I was little. You said... You said that it wasn't going to be hard anymore. You said you were going to give me a fairytale life and I could have my happy ending and all of that. You lied to me Bakura! You bloody lied to me!" Ryou was sobbing as he clenched onto the pillow tightly.

"How could you?" He breathed, whispering the words brokenly. "If you loved me... If you _ever _loved me, then you wouldn't have hurt me like that. I-I just wanted someone to love me, Bakura. And I wanted to love you back. And I know that sounds desperate, but it's not, because the only person I want to love... The only person I want to love me, is you. I know I did such a low, stupid thing and I am so sorry, but please... you have to let me try and make things right. You just have to let me in-" Ryou's voice broke, and he collapsed into the mattress and pillow, a sobbing mess. He cried for what seemed like hours, crying and crying until he was sure he had no tears left.

"Y-You have to love me again, Bakura." Ryou whispered, his eyes red-rimmed swollen. "_Please_, love me."

* * *

"Fucking hell!" Bakura swore as the strong arms were wrapped around his middle, pinning his arms to his side. The security guard was one of those big, beefy types, and it looked like Bakura had no chance of escaping. "Will you let me go!"

"I'm going to sedate him." The doctor said mildly as he started filling the syringe with a tranquiliser. "Just enough to keep him calm. Then he can be put to sleep and we can operate."

"Like hell you are!" Bakura growled. "No one is going near me with anything. I said no fucking operations when I woke up! I even signed a fucking sign to keep you guys away!"

"Which is why we have no idea about your brain damage." The doctor muttered. "Sanami told me you were never _this_ short-tempered a year ago... You're telling me this attitude change is natural?"

"I'm not letting anyone near me if it means a fucking operation!" Bakura yelled. "I said no! I signed a form saying no! And that means there's nothing any of you fuckheads can do about my hands, so get over it!"

"Actually." The doctor held the needle up to the light, checking for air bubbles in the chamber. "You clearly didn't read the fineprint. That contract said we couldn't operate on you for anything to do with your brain damage. Your hands don't come under that, Bakura."

"NO!" Bakura screamed, struggling and writhing. "You can't fucking do this! If I had a lawyer, you would all be in _so_ much shit!" The doctor kept a mild look on his face as he pushed up the sleeve of Bakura's grey tee-shirt. "Fuck off!"

"You'll be fine." The doctor said calmly. "We just need to clear out your hands and stitch up. And we might have a look at partial draining-"

"Draining?" Bakura paled. "You mean... Draining my blood? No. Oh no... You're not. You're not- Hey!" The yami gasped as the point of the needle pierced his skin. "NO!" He screamed, trying to move away. The doctor easily pushed the sedative into Bakura's veins, before removing the syringe. "No..." Bakura groaned as the sedative almost instantly started to take hold on him. Everything started to go blurry, and Bakura felt himself overcome with a strange sort of fuzziness. And it was _not_ the good kind. "Oh fuck." He gasped, bowing his head. "Y-You... O-Oh _fuck_..." He gritted his teeth tightly, his fingertips clenching into his palms tightly. Although his palms were obviously_ supposed_ to hurt, as well as his fingers, they didn't. It was just all sort of numb and fuzzy at the same time, and it scared Bakura shitless. He hated not knowing what was going on in his body at all.

"That's not so bad, is it?" The doctor said pleasantly as he disposed of the needle in a nearby biohazard bin. "Are you going to cooperate with us all now?"

"Fuck off." Bakura slurred, his eyes half-closed. "You fucking bastard... I'll get you for this..."

"Let him go." The doctor commanded the security guard. The beefy man nodded, and, after a moment, released Bakura. The yami staggered on his knees for a long moment, holding his head in his hands._ Oh God no_.

"Stop it..." Bakura gasped. "Oh fuck... G-Getting a migraine." There was a dull throb in the back of his head...

"It's not going to hurt." The doctor commanded as he grabbed Bakura's upper arms, steadying him. "You're almost totally sedated."

"Piss off." Bakura mumbled, his eyes closing as he pitched forward, almost falling to his knees. The doctor's eyes widened as he strengthened his hold on Bakura, swallowing. The yami was almost unconscious as he was gently laid out on the bed, his eyes closed, and totally numb. It was an awful feeling... Bakura groaned, burying his head in the pillow. It was a few moments before the yami actually realised that he was moving. But he didn't care. Bakura lay limp on the moving gurney, letting out one last, protesting groaned, before he let the darkness totally consume him.

* * *

"Roll him over onto his stomach."

"You're not doing this..."

"Roll him over! I can't do it, I'm sterile and I'm not rescrubbing." The nurse locked eyes with her colleague across from her, who wore the same worried look. Together, they managed to gently move Bakura so he lay on his back, his face buried in the pillow. Without his breathing tube, the yami would have probably been smothered.

"Good." The doctor muttered as he lifted up the hair at the back of Bakura's neck. "Pass me the shaver. We can't see anything with all of this hair in the way." The nurse's eyes widened.

"You can't..." She breathed. "Bakura signed a contract denying all medical treatment due to his head injury... He could sue you for millions."

"You think I don't know that?" The doctor snapped as he started running the electric shaver over a small piece of Bakura's skull. "But his drastic mood change... These migraines... Something's really wrong in there, and I intend to fix it." He brushed the handful of shaved hair aside, the clump falling to the floor. "Nurse, pass me the craniotome."

"You can't... You're going to be in so much trouble." Cold, watery blue eyes stared flatly at her.

"Pass me the craniotome." He muttered evenly. "I'm going to remove a patch of skull in the area he received his trauma, and see if we can detect any abnormalities. If there is, we can remove it, or treat it. Then the kid'll be as good as new."

"You can't." The nurse looked sick. "You can't..."

"If you're going to refuse to operate, then I suggest you leave the theatre." The doctor growled. "Or you can help me, and _not_ get an official warning on your spot-free record."

* * *

There was a light...

Bakura groaned as he sat up, rubbing at his eyes. But it was a moment before he realised he was already standing. The yami gasped, his eyes widening as he stared at the scene slowly unfolding before him.

_This is a dream_. Bakura realised as he stared in front of him. There was no way that what he was looking at could be real...

Everything was black. For as far as Bakura could tell, there was nothing but blackness. Except for the bed, that was about ten feet away from him. Bakura kept his gaze fixed on the slim figure that was lying on his back, staring upwards, although his eyes stared off into space. There was a little book at his side, which was filled with narrow, tidy handwriting._ Ryou_.

"What's happening?" Bakura's voice echoed, just dispersing into the endless darkness. "Ryou! You're fucking with my mind, I know it!"

"_I know you were an asshole, but... I stayed in love with you all those past times._" Bakura's heart skipped a beat as Ryou started talking, tears trickling down perfect pale cheeks. "_I can't believe it was a year ago_."

"Do you even realise you're doing this?" Bakura muttered, as an old ache started to well up in his heart. "Come on Ryou... Don't be a baby."

"_The chance of us ever getting what we had it so slim... Even if you said you loved me and we got back together... It just wouldn't be the same."_ Bakura took a step back, his heart strangely sinking. _God, he's right. _

"Well then there's no point crying about it." Bakura muttered nastily. Ryou's voice was soft, ethereal, and it sort of... floated around the yami. And the slim figure on the bed looked fuzzy, and slightly off-colour, like an old film. This was definitely some kind of dream, or Ryou tapping into his mind. Or both.

"_Damn you Bakura! Why did you have to do this to me? Why? What I had with you... It just seemed so pure. I couldn't see anything wrecking it. You knew how hard I had it when I was little. You said... You said that it wasn't going to be hard anymore. You said you were going to give me a fairytale life and I could have my happy ending and all of that. You lied to me Bakura! You bloody lied to me!"_ Bakura stood stock still as he watched the image of Ryou, the ache in his chest growing more and more, his heart weighing down with guilt.

"Fucking hell Ryou!" Bakura screamed, losing it. "Do you think I didn't _want_ to give you all of that? Because I did! I fucking did! I made it my fucking life to keep you happy, and what happened, huh? What fucking happened? You had the fucking _nerve_ to go and sleep with Malik! This is your entire fault, you cheating bloody slut! _You _broke us up!" Bakura's voice was hoarse. "I cast you away because you fucking betrayed me! What would you have done, huh?"

_He would have forgiven me_.

Bakura crossed his arms, and looked away from the image of Ryou, who still continued to talk. _"The only person I want to love me, is you. I know I did such a low, stupid thing and I am so sorry..."_

"Stop _doing_ this, Ryou!" Bakura screamed, his heart feeling as though it was being ripped apart. It was such an awful feeling... "FUCKING STOP IT!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, holding his head in his hands. He bent his knees slightly, doubling over. His chest hurt and he felt so sick... Never, in his whole life, had Bakura felt so _guilty _as when he did then, watching Ryou wallow in misery. Misery Bakura had created.

"What have I done." Bakura moaned. "What the fuck have I _done?_"

* * *

The craniotome was less than an inch away from Bakura's head when he moaned, and moved. The doctor jumped back, his eyes wide. Bakura's head lolled from side to side limply as he moved, groaning in his sleep.

"That was close." He muttered, staring down at the yami. "He's having a nightmare."

"Don't operate." The nurse pleaded. "It's a bad idea... I know you have good intentions, but _please_, don't operate..."

"Shut up." The doctor snarled. "Hold his head still. You too." He jerked his head towards a second nurse. "I'm going to need him to be completely still, or I could drill the craniotome right into his brain." The nurses silently obeyed, two sets of hands firmly holding Bakura's head in place. "Good." The air was filled with buzzing again as the doctor switched on the piece of surgical equipment. "I'm making the first incision..." He muttered as he pressed the crantiotome against Bakura's skull, the skin peeled back to expose the rounded bone. The whirring in the air took on a harsh grating sound as the bone was slowly cut, earning a wince from the youngest nurse. The doctor kept his eyes trained on Bakura's skull as he slowly, meticulously, carved the square patch of bone out of the yami's skull.

"There." The doctor muttered as he switched off the craniotome, handing it to a nurse, who laid it down on the equipment table, her hands shaking. "Now..." The doctor lifted the piece of skull away easily with his fingers, exposing the pale sac of fluid that protected Bakura's brain. "Scalpel." He snatched the tool from the nurse, and easily cut the thin sac, transparent liquid spilling over Bakura's already bloodstained hair.

"Huh." He muttered, staring down at the small patch of Bakura's fully exposed brain. "Would you look at that."

* * *

Bright lights again...

Bakura groaned as he was slowly dragged out of consciousness. Almost instantly, however, the yami realised that he was not trapped in another dream. He was lying down, and everything felt so much more heavy, so _real_...

Bakura opened his eyes, lifted his hands, so he could stare at them. Sure enough, they were bandaged thickly across the palms and knuckles. Bakura sighed, rolling over to stare out his little window.

However, it wasn't a window he saw. Bakura's eyes widened, and he sat up straight. A man was sitting in bed, reading a newspaper. He looked up from it for a moment, realizing Bakura was awake.

"You're finally up." He muttered, lowering his paper a little. "I wondered what time you would wa-"

"Where the _fuck_ am I." Bakura snarled, clenching his hands into fists. The man blinked.

"You're... In the hospital?" He was confused. "Do you have amnesia or something? That would explain the bandages." Bakura looked down at his hands, frowning. "No, buddy. The one's on your head." The yami froze.

"My..._ No."_ Bakura snarled as he rose a hand to his head, pressing his palm against the rough material. _"FUCK_ no!" He jumped out of bed in an instant, his legs shaking as he ran across the room and into the tiny bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. A tall, bony figure with gaunt, almost starved features, a hospital gown, and spiky hair sticking out from under a pile of bandaged stared back at him. "_FUCK!"_ Bakura screamed, punching the mirror, which cracked. The man in the bed dropped the newspaper, his eyes widening. "_Those fucking assholes!" _Bakura roared as he turned away and ran out of the bathroom, and across the hospital room, his new roommate staring on in shock. "I'm going to _kill_ them!" The door banged against the wall as he roughly wrenched it open, his heart thudding in anger. Bakura marched down the corridor, seething. He looked around himself as he walked, searching for a nurse, a doctor, _someone _who was responsible. It wasn't long before he found the blonde nurse that supposedly cared so much about him, gossiping with a colleague.

"_You_." He spat, his rage flaring up freshly. "You fucking _bitch_." The nurse's eyes were wide as she spun around, and at the sight of Bakura, she paled.

"_Oh._" She gasped, biting her lip. "Bakura, I-"

"What the fuck is this?" Bakura raged, pointing to his head. "I said no operations! I even signed a contract saying no! And then you use my hands as a fucking _excuse _to go and cut into my brain! This hospital has been nothing but a big fuck up since I woke up!"

"_Excuse me?_" The nurse actually looked angry as she placed her hand on her hips. "How?"

"Oh, I don't know!" Bakura's yelling started attracting a lot of stares. "What about Sanami, huh? Two visits and she fucks off! What about me getting moved into a room with a total idiot? What about the fact you _cut into my fucking brain _when I said no?"

"Sanami 'fucked off' because you refused to trust her!" The nurse's face was bright red. "She tried her hardest to help you, Bakura! She reached out to you and you just pushed her away! We had to move rooms, because you shattered the window in yours! And if we never cut into your head, we would have never caught your haemorrhage!" Bakura froze.

"What?"

"Bakura, you were bleeding in your brain. If the doctor hadn't have operated, you would have slipped into coma again, and died..." The nurse looked away, blinking rapidly. "You'd have been gone in a week or so." Bakura stood stock still, staring at the floor. It was such a scary thought, even if he technically couldn't die. Losing his body would make him a prisoner of the ring once more.

"What if that was what I wanted." Bakura's voice was low and shaking. The nurse froze, staring at Bakura with wide eyes. The yami turned abruptly on his heel, pushing though the ring of people, and ran back into his new room.

"What the hell's happening?" The man asked, as Bakura ran back into the room. Bakura ignored him, heading straight for the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

"_FUCK!" _Bakura screamed, holding his head in his hands. "Fuck fuck _fuck._" He repeated, leaning against the door. Everywhere shook, and his blood was boiling. He was just so _angry_ at the whole world, including himself. The male took a step over to the toilet, sinking onto the porcelain bowl with his head in his hands. The bandages were rough against his palms, which only fuelled Bakura's anger further.

"Uh, hello?" Bakura's new roommate was more confused than ever? "You okay in there?"

"Fuck off!" Bakura screamed, bowing his head. "Just _fuck_ off and leave me alone!" The man shrugged, still in his bed.

"Where is he?" The blonde nurse was breathing heavily as she ran into the room. "Where's Bakura?"

"The nutty white-haired guy? He's in the bathroom." The nurses' eyes widened, and she almost sprinted across the hospital room, pressing her hands against the door. "What the hell is wrong with him? Has he got Tourettes or something?"

"Bakura." The nurse pleaded. "Look, I'm really really sorry for losing my cool and getting angry with you like that. I-I know you must be really angry right now, and I don't blame you. I wasn't there for the surgery, but I was told that all of the nurses were trying to make it so you weren't going to be operated on. They tried to stop the doctor, and they couldn't... I'm so sorry, Bakura." The yami's head was still in his hands, which were shaking. "Please come out... Please don't hurt yourself." The blonde ran a hand through her hair. "Bakura..."

"Are you really this attached to all of your patients?" The nurse jumped as the door was opened, Bakura on the threshold.

"I'm sorry." She apologized again, biting her lip. Bakura was silent as he pushed past her, heading towards his bed. The nurse followed, drawing the curtain that parted the two beds as Bakura sank onto the mattress. "You're upset... More upset than usual, I mean."

"Oh haha." Bakura muttered witheringly, sitting up on the bed with his legs stretched out in front of him. "Very funny." He rested his hands on his knees, staring into space.

"I mean it." The nurse frowned. "Something's eating you up inside." She kept her voice low, for the sake of privacy on Bakura's part.

"Something's always eating me up inside." Bakura muttered as he pulled the sheet over his legs. "Why is this any different?"

"Why is it?" Bakura looked up to the nurse, his hands shaking.

"Because I'm not just angry this time." He finally sighed. "I... I..." He trailed off, lying down, and rolling over. "I'm tired."

"That's okay." The nurse said gently. "You just had brain surgery last night. You need some sleep." Bakura closed his eyes as the nurse left the room, and buried his head in the pillow, shaking madly. He didn't know what emotion was stronger, raging inside him. Rage, or... Guilt.

Not that he would ever admit to himself that that was what he was feeling.

* * *

Ryou sighed as he slowly pushed the wooden door open, peering into the hallway. It was about ten o'clock on the morning, and the little house was quiet, so the teenager assumed everyone was asleep. The teenager stepped inside the kitchen, rubbing at his eyes. He'd gotten exactly zero minutes of sleep last night, despite trying every single method he knew to counteract insomnia.

But then again, it wasn't insomnia. It was heartbreak.

After staring aimlessly in the fridge for a few moments, Ryou pulled out a carton of milk, and hunted around for a glass. He found one in the dishwasher, and poured himself a glass of milk. He was putting the carton away when Sugoroku entered the room, muttering to himself.

"Oh!" Ryou smiled as he closed the fridge door. "Hi, I thought you were in bed..." Sugoroku blinked, staring at Ryou.

"Bakura... I thought you were with Yugi and his friends down at the arcade." Ryou blinked, and shook his head.

"No... I haven't seen Yugi or Yami at all this morning... I've been in bed, mainly... Did he say when he was going to be back?"

"No." The Grandfather shrugged. "He said he would be home sometime before dinner, and that was it." Ryou took a deep gulp of milk, frowning. "Maybe he was going to invite you, but you were asleep?"

"No." Ryou took another gulp of milk. "I... Woke up really early this morning." Sugoroku shrugged.

"He probably just forgot, Bakura. Don't worry about it. You don't look like you're in a state to go anywhere, anyway." Ryou made a face as he drank the last of the milk, setting the glass down in the sink.

"I'm not." He sighed, rubbing at his mouth with his wrist. "But an invite would have been nice... I'm going to go back to bed." The teenager finished politely, starting to walk out of the room.

"Bakura?" The elderly man looked concerned. "Are you all right?" Ryou paused for a moment, before nodding weakly, despite feeling sick with abandonment and betrayal.

"Y-Yeah... I-I'm fine."

* * *

I think I am going to kill this stupid thing. It's moving so slowly! T.T I'm sorry.

R&R!


	19. Chapter 19

YEY! Updateness!

I'm so glad that someone kinda shares my viewpoin on this, that is sorta HAS to be moving so slowly. Or else it wouldn't reach the er, ending that it's going to reach without seeming rushed... (I'm trying to explain it without giving anything away, but you all get me anyways, right? XD) So yeah. But bear with me! XD

Disclaime: I own nothing

* * *

Ryou cried for a long time in his bed.

He knew it wouldn't be long before he faded out of Yugi's memory again, but it wasn't fair for it to be _this_ quick again. A trip to the arcade would have been nice, maybe. It may have helped Ryou keep his mind of Bakura, give him a short reprieve. But then again, Ryou clearly didn't deserve that. It seemed to him that all happiness was illegal to him. It just wasn't _fair_.

"It would have been nicer than sitting around moping in bed all day." Ryou muttered, drawing his knees up to his chest as he leaned against the headboard. "Oh well..." He stared up at the ceiling for a long time, trying, and failing, to fight back tears. On an impulse, Ryou reached behind the pillow, extracting the thin notebook which was concealed there. The whitenette grabbed the pen on the bedside table, opening his journal to the latest page, and beginning to write. About five minutes later, Ryou paused, the silence of the room starting to get to him. He leaned over to the small radio on the bedside table, and switched it on, the music of his favourite radio station filling his ears.

And he wrote. Ryou just wrote page after page, pouring his heart out onto the paper. His feelings, what was happening... his pen practically flew across the page in an odd effort to try and get it all down. Ryou felt so isolated from the world... But in a good way, as he wrote in the book, in his little bubble. Although the stress and tension was revived as Ryou explained it on the page, it soon passed, somewhat.

It was over an hour before Ryou's pen was finally lifted from the page. The last page, actually. Ryou blinked as he turned it, seeing the end of the notebook. Wow. There was still almost half a notebook left before Ryou had started to write. That must be some kind of record.

He felt so drained. Ryou set the pen on the bedside table, and slid the notebook under his pillow again, before stretching out on the bed. He stared up at the ceiling, closing his eyes. The music was on the louder side, but it wasn't screaming, just enough to fill the little room with sound. The aching sensation of fatigue washed over Ryou, and he felt himself drifting closer and closer to slumber. He was tired... So tired. Tired of everything... Ryou nuzzled the pillow, smiling slightly. He felt a bit better after releasing so much, and lying on top of the thick duvet made the bed feel so... soft. Softer than usual, definitely.

"I'm so ti-ti-tired..." Ryou mumbled, the words punctuated by a long yawn. "I should sleep..." He relaxed totally into the bed, the feeling of exhaustion slowly giving way to the soft, gentle pleasures of sleep-

_Knock knock_.

The teenager gasped, and sat up, jolted out of his sleep. He blinked as the door slowly started to open, and Yami's head poked in.

"Uh, Bakura?" He asked, locking his eyes with the teen. Ryou blinked, and turned around to face him, tilting his head to one side in confusion.

"Yes?" Ryou rubbed at his eyes, biting back a groan. "What's going on?"

"Uh, Yugi and the gang and I just got home and we were going to watch a movie in the lounge." Ryou nodded, starting to think of an excuse to not participate. _I'll just say I'm really tired and have to go to bed. That's easy, isn't it?_

"Oh?" Ryou inquired, scratching at the back of his head.

"Yes." Yami muttered. "Uh, do you think you could turn the music down?" Ryou froze. "It's louder than you think... You can hear it all the way in the lounge." Ryou's heart sank like a stone.

"Uh... Sure." Ryou's hand was shaking as he leaned over, turning the knob on the radio considerably lower. "That okay?" He could barely hear it at all now, the lyrics distorted and lost over the instruments.

"Thanks." Yami smiled, and nodded before pulling back and closing the door. Ryou stared into space for almost a minute, totally still. _Did it not occur to them to even ask me? I knew staying here wasn't going to be a non-stop slumber party, but they could have __**asked**_

Ryou's lower lip trembled, and he bit on it hard, closing his eyes tightly. He quickly grabbed the pillow that was behind him, and held it over his face as he screamed. His hands were shaking, tears running down his face as he screamed again, before collapsing into sobs. He slumped into the mattress, crying weakly. He felt so hurt, so shocked and upset and overwhelmingly _angry_ that this could be happening to him. It was so disheartening, to think that Yami would be so cruel to him, intentional or no. But then again, maybe it wasn't being cruel. It was just Yugi and Yami totally forgetting about him again.

_I have to get out of here_. Ryou wiped his eyes as he sat up, looking at himself in the large mirror against the wall. He looked a total mess, there was no doubt about it, but Ryou just didn't care. He wanted to get out of the house, and away from Yugi. Ryou needed more than food and a bed at the time, so much more. He needed friends. He needed someone to talk to, to confide in. Someone to help him heal. And if Ryou had any more confidence, he would blurt that out to Yugi. He would _demand_ that he should be noticed, that Yugi should be there for him and look out for him and _help_ him.

Ryou was almost hyperventilating as he wrenched open the door, darting into the hallway. He didn't even bother to don a coat and shoes as he ran through the house, slamming the door hard behind him. His bare feet pounded along the pavement as he ran, gasping for air. The whitenette easily darted through the human traffic, still crying as he ran.

He ran for three blocks before he finally slowed down, sinking gasping onto a sidewalk bench, holding his hands over his face. _Oh_ that was exhausting... Ryou's shoulders shook as he silently cried, feeling as though his heart was ripping apart all over again, albeit on a considerably smaller scale. He never noticed until then it was raining heavily, his clothes and hair already soaked. It just didn't seem _fair_. He wasn't wanted with Bakura, he couldn't face Malik, Yami and Yugi didn't care... Who else did he have left? His father? Ryou snorted aloud. What a joke that was. He hadn't spoken to his father in three months, hadn't met him since he took his mothers dress. There was no way Ryou could just turn up on his doorstep, even if that was technically the right place for him to be. He had his new family to worry about now, anyways. He wouldn't want his gay teenaged son in there, wrecking things.

"But where can I go?" Ryou lifted his hands away from his face, turning his gaze up to the sky. "Where's a place I can go where I'll be welcome?" He let out a long sigh as he started lowering his head, and then froze.

The church.

It was almost directly across the road from him, the steeple poking up high through the rain. Ryou's shoulder slumped, and a small smile formed across his delicate features. Of course. Ryou was perfectly welcome there... And it was certainly more inviting than his fathers', or worse, a homeless shelter. The teenagers' legs shook slightly as he stood up, and he felt dizzy in exhaustion. Ryou rubbed at his eyes as he stood on the curb, checking the road before running across, his legs burning and a stitch in his side. The effects of his mad dash were starting to take their toll.

Ryou closed his eyes for a moment as he stepped inside the church, inhaling deeply. He stood there for a moment, still, before walking across the lobby, pushing the large double doors that led into the main hall. The church was almost dark, save for the candles around the place, burning brightly. It was only early afternoon, but the sky was black, the large clouds heavy with rain. Ryou let his hands drift down to the rows of benches as he walked down the aisle, closing his eyes. It only reminded him of what he never got to have, and it was just depressing. The teenager paused as he got to the front of the church, staring at the altar, the pulpit, the candelabras. His attention shifted to the closest bench to him, on the second row, and he sat down with a long sigh, feeling totally drained.

_I should pray_. Ryou mentally sighed as he lay down on the bench, which, although wooden and hard, seemed like the most comfortable thing in the world in his state of exhaustion. He folded his hands and rested his head on them, his eyes closed. _Later. When I wake up. I'm just so tired_... The soft, peaceful silence of the church, and the pleasant orange glow against his closed eyelids quickly lulled Ryou into a deep sleep, the teenager's deep, even breaths resonating around the silent room.

* * *

"I fucking hate this place." Bakura kept his eyes fixated on the wall, turned away from his roommate. "I can't believe I'm hear for another fucking _week_."

"You mean you _don't _want to leave?" The man muttered mildly, staring at the television bolted against the wall. "I was under the impression that you were. What with the whole flipping out and hurting yourself buzz-"

"Shut up." Bakura muttered threateningly. "Shut _up._ You don't even know what you're talking about!"

"Apparently not." He muttered, flicking through the channels. "But if you wanted to leave _that_ badly, then you could always just discharge yourself."

"What?" Bakura perked up. He sat up, turning around to face the man. "How do I do that?"

"Christ." He muttered. "Where the hell did you grow up? Just get dressed, go to the front office, and ask for some discharge papers. But..." He froze. "Oh yeah... you're one of the staff favourites here. They'd probably notice really quickly, or not give you the papers."

"Fucking _hell_." Bakura sank back down, making sure to lie on his side. "I can't win..."

"Just bail." The man finally settled on a channel he liked, and relaxed more against the pillows. "Get dressed, take of the bandages, and you'll just look like a visitor. Walk out the front door and you should be fine." Bakura sat up again thoughtfully.

"Will it work?" He muttered. The man shrugged.

"Dunno. Have they got your address on file?"

"They have my old address on file." Bakura let out a long sigh. "After I- That doesn't matter." He finished quickly. Rejuvenated, the white-haired yami sat up again, throwing off the blankets. "Fuck, I wish someone had told me I could have done that sooner." The man paled.

"Hey, wait no!" He sat up like a poker. "Bloody hell kid, you had surgery for brain haemorrhage yesterday! You can't go now, you'll kill yourself."

"Nah." Bakura muttered casually as he hopped lightly on the floor. He opened the door of his little cabinet, finding the clothes Sanami had given him in a little brown bag. "I can't die."

"You... Can't die." The man muttered disbelievingly. "Sure."

"The fall was supposed to kill me." Bakura muttered as he roughly yanked off the paper hospital robe. "And I miraculously woke up after a nine month coma with almost no brain damage. Are you telling me that's normal?"

"You can die." The man muttered. "You're human. All humans die." Bakura snorted, pulling the shirt over his head. He rushed into the bathroom to remove the bandages around his head, patting the back of his head self-consciously. It still moved a little... Bakura was going to have to be _very_ careful, with a patch of his skull lose under the recently-stitched skin.

"Nice theory." Bakura smoothed his hair down, pulling it out from under his shirt. "But I'm not human." He coolly strolled across the hospital room, turning around to face the man. "If anyone asks, I'm in the bathroom."

"Uhh, sure." The man stared, mouth agape as Bakura closed the door, before shaking his head. "Nutcase."

Bakura stared up and down the hallway furtively, before walking down. His feet were bare, and it just made him even more self-conscious. To him, it seemed blindingly obvious that he was a patient trying to do a runner. _But then again, it would to me_.

The yami whistled lightly to himself, shoving his hands in his pockets as he stepped in the elevator. The large metal doors slid shut behind him, and he let out a long sigh, leaning against the wall as his shoulders slumped. It was a moment before Bakura realised that he was not alone, that there were soft sniffs coming from the far corner of the large elevator.

He jumped, turning on his heel to find a little girl slouched against the wall, clutching a large teddy. She was crying.

"What the fuck?" Bakura blinked. "Who the hell are you?" The girl only sniffed, backing even farther away into the corner. "Hello?"

"You said a naughty word." She murmured tearfully. Bakura raised an eyebrow.

"What. Fuck?" The girl nodded. "So? I don't give a damn. Shouldn't you be with your parents or whatever, kid?" At this, the little girl started to cry harder. "What?"

"I-I lost them." She said weakly. "The elevator was real crowded a-and they walked out... I-I couldn't get out before the doors closed and it moved again..." Bakura groaned.

"Meh. Shit happens. They'll find you." He turned away, staring at the buttons. He pressed the ground floor button, before replacing his hands in his pockets. "There's shitloads of desks around."

"M-Mummy said th-that whenever I get lost, I-I has to stay in one place sos they can find me." She whimpered.

"That's stupid." Bakura muttered, making sure to stand as far away from her as possible. The elevator was silent for a few more long moments.

"M-Mister?" She asked timidly. "C-Can you help me find them? Please?" Bakura groaned, rubbing at his forehead. _Shit_.

"I have to go brat." The yami explained, irritated. Little kids pissed him off. "I'm really late." The little girl burst into fresh tears.

"_Please_?" She begged. "No one's come in here for ages and ages... What if they left and forgot about me?"

"Fucking _hell_!" Bakura growled. "Stop your bloody crying!" He spun on his heel, eyes blazing. "You're going to be fine! At least you _have_ parents." The girl only cried harder. Bakura let out a long groan, combing his wild locks with his fingers. "Okay... Yelling isn't going to help..." After a long moment, the yami took a few steps towards the girl, crouching down so they were eye-level. "The elevators almost on the ground floor. Uhh... When it gets there, I'll take you to the front desk, and they can make an announcement on the intercom... thing. Then your parents will come running." The girl lifted her head.

"Swear?" Bakura groaned, nodding.

"_Yes._" He sighed. "Will you stop being so upset?" The girl nodded slowly. "Good." He stood up, straightening his back as the doors slowly opened, exposing the bustling ground floor. "Come on." He stepped out of the elevator, biting his lip as his arms hung at his sides. The last thing he was expected was to feel a warm little hand slip into his. He jumped, and looked down into an earnest pair of big blue eyes. "What the hell?"

"There's a lot of people." She said softly. "I don't wanna get losted again." Bakura rolled his eyes, but started to walk, the girl clinging to his hand. It felt... strange. Someone actually trusted him. It felt a little... Nice. Bakura groaned, and shook his head, forcing the feelings away. No. Nice was bad. Nice was not a good thing to feel. The yami smirked as he managed to locate the front desk, weaving his way through the thick human traffic, the little girl still clinging to his hand in grim determination.

"There." Bakura sighed in relief as he approached the front desk, but still looked around him furtively. He did _not_ want to get noticed in the slightest.

"May I help you?" Bakura almost winced at the crisp, cool voice, the back of his head throbbing slightly. "Yes?"

"Oh. I uh, I got a missing kid." He jerked his head in the direction of the little girl. "She lost her parents in the elevator or something..."

"That's fine." The woman barely looked up from her keyboard. "What does she look like?" Bakura blinked.

"Uh... about four or five, black hair, blue eyes, green dress with yellow shoes..."

"_This is the main reception. We have a lost girl, aged approximately four years old with black hair. She is wearing a green dress and yellow shoes. If this little girl belongs to you, then please ring the reception, or approach us right away._" Bakura raised an eyebrow as the woman switched off the intercom, returning to her typing. "There's a kiddy playpen just over there for the kids in the waiting area. Just pop her in there and when her parent's come, I'll direct them over."

"How many do you _get_?" Bakura blinked. The woman smirked, never looking away from the screen.

"'Bout six or seven a day."

"Shit." Bakura turned away, and started walking towards the playpen, almost dragging the little girl behind him in his haste. "Well, you heard the lady kid. I'll drop you off in the pen and then your parents'll pick you up when they come."

"No." The girl said abruptly, sounding close to tears again. "I-I want you to stay here... I don't wanna be alone again..." Bakura groaned loudly. "Please?"

"Fucking _hell_ kid!" Bakura swore loudly, rubbing at his temple with his free hand. "What is wrong with you? Are all kids this bloody clingy?"

"I'm sorry..." The girl started to cry again, looking down.

"No..." Bakura sighed. "Don't cry, kid. It's okay. Look... We'll just take a seat here." He sat down in a hard plastic chair, the little girl half-climbing, half-scrambling into the one at his right. "And just wait here. We have a pretty good view of the desk and all..."

"Thanks." The girl smiled weakly, turning big blue eyes up to meet him, which were still shining with tears. "You're nice." Bakura growled.

"No, I'm not." He snarled. "I'm a bad person. I'm evil. I'm..." He paused, trying to think of a way to phrase it for the girl. "I'm mean."

"You seem nice." The girl said softly. Bakura snorted.

"That's because you don't know me." He muttered, staring at the clock. Ten. The morning was already half over. Ugh. "If you did, you wouldn't be so happy to be around me."

"Why are you mean?" She asked, in all her childish innocence.

"Because bad things happened to me." Bakura muttered. "And because I do very bad things to people. That's why I'm mean... Why am I even explaining myself to a little brat like you?" He almost chuckled, crossing his arms and looking away. "Fucking hell. You're like Ryou, you bring out the worst in me..."

"Who's Ryou?" The girl asked. Bakura bit his lip, turning away.

"No one important." He muttered lightly. "Just someone I used to like."

"Why don't you like him no more?" Bakura bit his lip harder, tightening his hands on his arms. "Mister?"

"Because I don't!" He snapped. "I don't need to explain myself to a nosy little brat like you, so shut the hell up!" The girl blinked, and fell silent, swinging her legs back and forth. "Where the bloody hell are your parents..." He looked around himself, but not knowing what the little girl's parents even looked like made is fruitless. Bakura sighed, slumping further against the plastic chair.

"Mummy!" Bakura jumped as the little girl leaped down off the chair, hair flying behind her as she ran across the room. The yami found the woman, standing beside the front desk with her arms flung out. He stood up as the woman embraced her child tightly, lifting her up in the air and spinning her around. Now _she_ was crying. Uh. Kids. Bakura shoved his hands in his pockets. Despite his facade, Bakura couldn't help but feel a little... something, in the pit of his stomach. Maybe it was longing. Longing for a family, something he never had. Maybe he just ate something funny. But whatever it was, Bakura didn't really care. He forced it down even further, and turned away, walking through the thick flow of people in the direction of the door, trying to seem as utterly calm as possible.

"Mister?" The girl looked around almost as soon as she was out down, clinging tightly to her mothers hand. "Mister? Where did you go?"

"Who's that, sweetie?" Her mother asked. The little girl blinked.

"The person who found me in the elevator. He was really tall, almost as tall as Daddy and he had white hair Mummy, like an old man. But he was young. And he said he was mean and he was, he yelled at me for crying but then he was nicer... I think he's nice." The woman shook her head.

"You're imagination..." She sighed. The little girl only frowned at the patronizing tone, still scanning the crowds for any sign of Bakura.

"It's not my imagination... I didn't even get to say bye, neither."

* * *

"Son?" Ryou groaned at the voice, burying his head in his hands again. "My son? Are you awake?" The teenager slowly opened his eyes, rubbing at them weakly.

"I-I am now..." He yawned as he slowly sat up, scratching at his tousled hair. "Ugh... Those benches are_ not _comfy to sleep on." Ryou blinked as he finally focused on the man who stared down at him in concern, blinking at his accent. "Oh, hello father." He was slightly taken aback.

"What on earth are you doing here, my son?" Ryou yawned, stretching slightly and rubbing at his eyes again. "At this hour?"

"What's the time?" Ryou asked, noticing the rain was still hammering on the roof, albeit a little more softly. "Goodness, I feel like I've been asleep for ages..."

"It's after eight." The priest murmured, checking his watch. "Why are you here, son? Shouldn't you be at home? Or were you just sheltering from the rain?"

"I wish." Ryou's shoulders slumped, and he looked down at his hands. "I-I came in here to get out of the rain, but I was in the rain because I couldn't stay there." The priest frowned.

"Whatever's troubling you? Problems at home?" Ryou let out a long sigh.

"It's not even my home." He murmured weakly, staring at the back of the bench in front of him. "It's just where I'm staying for now after I was kicked out..." The priest blinked, before sighing, taking a seat next to the teen.

"Anything you wish to discuss, Son? It doesn't matter what you have done, God will always forgive-"

"I'm gay." The priest froze, blinking, and Ryou blushed. "I-I just thought I'd say that now... So if you wanna boot me out now, and save time, go for it..."

"Oh no." The priest was taken aback slightly. "Of course not son... Why would I throw out a fellow Catholic and Englishman?" Ryou smiled weakly.

"Anglican." He winced. "But I went to Catholic school for about six years if that counts for anything..." The priest smiled.

"Son, you are Christian, and always welcome in His house. Especially in a country where most worship the idols. So I take it your... preference is why you got forced to leave home?" Ryou sniffed, rubbing at his eyes, which were red and swollen.

"K-Kinda..." He whispered. "My mother died years ago, and I don't live with my father anymore. I used to live with my um, my boyfriend." The priest winced. "A-And it didn't work out... I've been staying with a friend, but it's just driving me inside... I had to leave." Ryou held his head in his hands. "I was sitting on the street, and I didn't know where else to go..."

"You came to the right place." The priest said softly. "I understand that you must be very confused right now."

"I-I am." Ryou said softly, fighting back fresh tears. "I-I know God hates me, b-but why? I know it's the whole liking men thing, but there has to be more..."

"Son, God does not hate anyone." The priest sighed. "He is punishing you for choices that go against His ways." Ryou sniffed, shaking his head.

"B-But... I-If He was so against it, then why did He save my partners life?" The priest blinked.

"How, my son? You have obviously merely perceived it wrong."

"I-I haven't!" Ryou protested. "N-Nine months ago, he got into an accident, and fell into a coma. I was told he wasn't going to give, and decided to turn the life support off... Then he woke up a week later. No warning, no anything. H-He just woke up..." The priest blinked. "They said he was never going to wake up and he did. H-How can you explain that if it's not His diving right?"

"I am not sure, son." He sighed heavily. "God does work in very mysterious ways. But I am sure He does not hate you. Perhaps if you chose to take the path He would prefer-"

"I-I can't!" Ryou protested tearfully. "I-I love him so much... I know it's wrong, and I'm going to go to Hell for it and all that, but I just can't help it. I-I love him..." The priest stared into space for a long time, frozen. "Y-You're not going to like, try and exorcise any demons out of me or anything, are you?" _That would be so ironic_...

"Oh, goodness no!" The priest chuckled. "But it certainly sounds like you're in some need of guidance and direction. You claim to love this man, my son, but it sounds as though he has ruined your life."

"He has." Ryou breathed. "But he _gave_ me life. I was nothing without him... I-I'm not anything now, not without him." Fresh tears leaked out of his eyes. "I-I'm sorry..."

"Son..." The priest sighed, before reaching out, loosely grasping Ryou's hands. The teenager looked down, blinking. "I can only think of one thing you can do in this situation. You need to pray to Him. Ask for His protection and guidance. He will always point you to the right path."

"O-Okay..." Ryou swallowed deeply, bowing his head and closing his eyes, his insides burning with frustration. He didn't _understand_. The priest followed suit. "U-Umm... H-Hi God... I-I need to ask You for guidance... I'm so confused about what to do. I-I still love Bakura. There's no way around it, I do. A-and I always feel that nothing will ever make me happy again unless I'm with him again. B-but I know it's not ever going to happen again. H-he hates me. B-But I know I can't stay where I am for too much longer. Yugi just doesn't understand. I thought he would. He's the only person in the whole world who could properly understand me, and he doesn't even try. I just fade in and out of his attention span. And it's so awful. I just want to know what I should do. I need a sign, or_ something_. Y-You dragged him out of his coma. You woke him up. You had to do that for a reason, didn't You? E-Everything You do has a reason. I just want to know what to do, God. I want to know what You want me to do. I can't stay in limbo like this. I-I can't." Ryou hiccupped, forcing back a fresh wave of tears. "A-Amen, I-I suppose..."

"Good." The priest said softly, releasing his hold on Ryou's hand. The teenager instantly covered his face, sobbing. "It's okay, my son. Everything is going to be okay."

"I-I'm just so scared, father." Ryou breathed. "Everything that's happened... I don't know what to do. Bakura was such a big part of my life... Going on without him just seems so unthinkable, even though I've been facing it for so long now..." The priest bit his lip, eyeing Ryou's extremely skinny frame.

"You need food." He concluded. "I have a little kitchen out back, I'm sure I can cook you something. When was the last time you had a proper meal?"

"Days." Ryou said gratefully, slowly lifting his hands away from his face. "I-Is it really going to be okay?"

"Of course it is." The priest replied firmly, standing up and stretching out his hand. "Come on son, I'll get some food into you and you can stay here a little longer. Until the rain stops, or something." Ryou smiled weakly as he took the male's hand, trembling.

"Th-Thankyou, father." He murmured softly. "Th-thankyou so much."

* * *

And now I can toddle off to bed because I am tired and Nicole is keeping me up -stabs- Hahahaha jokes.

R&R!


	20. Chapter 20

Argh. Here you go, another chapter, hehehhe.

The next one is going to have more action in it, I swear.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

* * *

"Home sweet home." Bakura bit his lip as he rested his hands on his hips, staring at the pretty little cottage. The lawn was slightly overgrown, and the roses needed trimming back, but apart from that, it looked almost exactly the same. "Fuck. Now I have to get in." He easily hopped over the gate, and walked up the front path, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. His keys were in his jacket pocket, along with three hundred dollars which had strangely gone missing, all those months ago. _Someone probably flicked it, fuck it. It was a really nice coat, too. I'll have to hunt them down later._

"Okay..." He muttered to himself as he started walking around the house, looking for a loose window latch. "Let's see... Fuck, it's all locked up tight." _Looks like I'll have to break a window... Fuck it_. Bakura walked around to the back of the little house, the grass cool against his feet. _Hmm... The bathroom window's open a crack._ Bakura ran towards the tiny window, which was open slightly. Unfortunately, not only was it tiny, but far off the ground. _I'm gonna have to climb... At least no one is watching, I guess_. He jumped up, his arms stretching out. He managed to grab onto the window sill. Despite his weakened arm muscles, Bakura was still able to haul himself up, and start climbing through the window. He groaned with the effort, puffing as he struggled to crawl through the tiny gap, leaning down and resting his hands on the sink, his bottom half still outside. "Oh, come _on!"_ He shouted, gritting his teeth. "This isn't fucking funny." It took a fair bit of struggling, but Bakura was finally able to land on the bathroom floor safely, still managing to sound as light-footed as a cat. "There." He pulled open the bathroom door, and headed into the small hallway, beginning to inspect the house. He stared around the lounge first, biting his lip as he realised all of the pictures of Ryou's family had been taken down from the wall. He sighed, before turning into the kitchen. Everything there was just as it should be-

Wait. Bakura froze as he stared at the kitchen counter, his heart skipping a beat. It was the ring. Ryou, who had been safekeeping it for so long, must have left it here for him. _That stupid boy, leaving it out like that! It could have been stolen so easily..._ Bakura snarled as he walked towards the kitchen counter, and snatched up the room. That was when he realised that there was a small note resting underneath, a folded square of paper. His curiosity sparked, the yami pulled on the ring, feeling it settle on his chest just where it should, before grabbing the piece of white paper, and unfolding it.

_Dear Bakura,_ it began. He raised a silvery eyebrow, and bit his lip gently, reading on.

_I just wanted to write this note to say that I've moved out all of my personal things, and I'm not going to bother you again. I'm going to leave the ring here for you, but if you feel you don't want it, then feel free to return it. I'm staying at Yugi's for now._

_Ryou._

Bakura growled, crumpling the piece of paper in his hand. He threw it away on the ground, cast it aside, before sinking into one of the chairs. His left hand clutched at the ring like a lifeline as he raked his right through his wild mane. His fingertips brushed against the bald patch of his hair, and he closed his eyes. He was home again, back inside his little cottage. But although barely anything had been taken, it felt so _empty_, and Bakura just didn't know why. He stood up, and headed towards the bedroom. _I'm probably tired... It's been a really rough time. I just need a good sleep in my own bed, and I should be fine..._ Bakura yawned as he pulled off his shirt, and pushed the covers aside. He kicked his jeans off, and climbed into bed naked, enjoying the feel of the luxurious satin sheets against his skin, the soft, large mattress, the thick, warm blankets and the squashy pillows that cradled his head. _Much_ better than the hospital bed. Bakura shifted over, until he was in the middle, stretched out spread-eagled, making sure his head was on one side._ What if I roll over in my sleep? I'll just be careful..._ Bakura mused as his eyes slowly drifted shut, and he allowed himself to slowly drift off to sleep.

* * *

"Where on earth were you?" 

Ryou jumped in the middle of the process of closing the front door to the Game Shop. Naturally large eyes widened as he gasped, turning his gaze on to Yami, who stood in the threshold of the back door, the one that led into the actual house.

"Y-Yami." Ryou tried to smile. "S-Sorry I ran off like that, I-"

"It's almost two! We were worried sick!" Yami's voice rose, as he glowered at the teen. "Do you know how panicked Yugi was when he went into your room to find you gone?" Ryou froze.

"Y-You were worried?" The teen stuttered, mainly because he was sodden with fresh rain, and was wracked with shivers and shudders of cold.

"Of course we were!" Yami marched towards Ryou, grabbing his hand. "Look at you! You're frozen. Where's your coat? And shoes for that matter?" The teenager stood still, his heart hammering.

"Y-You were worried..." He murmured gently. "Y-You cared..."

"What is wrong with you?" Yami frowned. "Did you do this for attention?"

"I-I don't know." Ryou answered honestly. Yami sighed in exasperation as he headed into the back of the house again, dragging the teen behind him. "I-I'm sorry..."

"Tell that to Yugi." Yami stated. "He's been worried sick about you, and he's got Jounouchi and Honda combing the city-"

"Really?" Ryou's eyes widened even further, and he couldn't help but let a small smile pass his lips. Yami surveyed the whitenette with a frown.

"You _did_ do this for attention." Yami muttered. Ryou blinked.

"No! I-I mean yes, I mean... O-Oh I don't know..." He bowed his head as he was led through the kitchen, in the direction of the lounge. "I-I was just so upset and-"

"I found him." Yami's voice rang out through the room as he entered the living room. Yugi and Anzu looked up, eyes wide. "He was trying to come back in here quietly.

"Where were you?" Yugi exploded, standing up. "Hell, Bakura! What were you thinking? Do you have any idea how worried we were? Jou and Honda are out in the rain looking for you-"

"Yugi." Anzu cut him off, placing a hand on his arm. "Please, stop..." Three pairs of eyes stared at Ryou as he cried silently, his shoulders shaking.

"I-I j-just w-want to g-go to bed." Ryou whispered, sniffing. "Please..."

"Oh no you don't." Yami's eyes flashed. "You're going to get dressed, and then you're going to tell us why you did this." Ryou's shoulder slumped. "Come on." He marched across the room, Ryou reluctantly trailing along behind.

"I'll call Jou and Honda." Yugi reported, picking up the phone. "They must be freezing out there..."

"Why did Bakura do this?" Anzu murmured as she sank back into the couch, staring at the blank television screen.

"I don't know." Yugi frowned as he dialled the number for Jou's cellphone. "I know he's insecure right now, but I don't get why he would just run off..."

"I-I'm sorry..." Ryou whispered as he sank on the bed, his hands clasped in his lap. "I-I was just so upset... I needed to clear my head..."

"So you ran out into the rain?" Yami wrenched the drawer open, pulling out a long-sleeved shirt for Ryou.

"B-But it worked." Ryou lifted his head. "I think..." He murmured, staring back down at his knees.

"You think?" Yami sighed, finding a comfortable pair of sweatpants for the teenager. "Here. Put these on, then join us in the lounge." Ryou nodded as Yami left the room, closing the door behind him. He flopped onto the bed with a long sigh, covering his face with his hands. _Oh gosh... They were worried about me. They actually realised I was missing. Maybe Yugi does care about me, maybe he's not just doing this because he feels obligated..._

The teenager rubbed at his swollen red eyes as he sat up, and tugging off his wet clothes and replacing them with his dry ones. Ryou stood up, and crossed the tiny floor, his hand shaking as he turned the doorknob, opening the door. It was just a walk across the hallway into the living room, where Yami, Yugi, and Anzu were waiting expectantly. Ryou blinked as he stared closer at Yugi. It looked like he'd been crying...

"What happened to you?" Yami demanded immediately, a protective hand on Yugi's shoulder for comfort. "Where did you go? You weren't out in the rain the whole time, were you?"

"Oh, no." Ryou shook his head, before slowly taking a seat on an armchair. "I did wander the streets for a bit, but then I found the church down the street, and went in there..."

"The church?" Yugi raised an eyebrow. "Are you religious?"

"Um, yeah." Ryou blinked. "You didn't know I was Anglican?" The shortest teenager shook his head slowly, and Yami blinked in confusion.

"What's Anglican?" He asked. "I don't understand..."

"Anglican's a religion." Ryou elaborated, his voice still quaking. "It's a church under Christianity..." Yami nodded, still frowning.

"What's Christianity?" Yugi groaned, and Ryou blinked.

"Christianity? You know... Heck, you don't know?"

"Of course he doesn't." Yugi smiled, despite himself. "It wasn't really around in his time... I'll explain it later, don't worry." He reassured Yami, who nodded, biting his lip. "You were saying, Bakura?"

"Oh... Well, I fell asleep in there, and got waken up by the priest... We had a talk and a pray and then he gave me something to eat... He had to go home then, so I sat down in the little porch and slept for a bit... Then I decided I should come back here." Ryou's eyes were locked with his knees, the entire time, his hands shaking.

"But why?" Yugi pressed. "Bakura, it's not like you to just run off. What happened?" Ryou bit on his lip hard, closing his eyes. "Bakura?"

"I was really hurt and upset." He finally said softly. "F-Firstly, you guys went off to the arcade this morning, without even asking if I wanted to go... Then you tell me to turn down my music so you can watch a movie, and you don't even invite me..."

"Oh, Bakura." Yugi said gently. "Is that what this is about?" Ryou sniffed, and nodded. "Did you think we didn't care about you? That we didn't want you around?" Ryou nodded again, his hands shaking. "Bakura, that's not true at all."

"I-It's not?" Ryou wiped at his eyes. "But you..."

"Bakura, Grandpa told me that he heard you tossing and turning all night. I was going to go in and ask you, but he said I should let you sleep... And the movie we watched is another of those stupid American comedies. Yami and I know you hate those, so he didn't ask you. I was going to ask when I went into your room, but you weren't there..." Ryou was sitting very still, aside from his shaking hands.

"R-Really?" He lifted his head slightly, tilting it to one side to see Yugi better. The shortest teen gave the most reassuring smile he could muster, and nodded.

"Really, Bakura. You just took it all the wrong way." Ryou bit his lip, starting to blush slightly as he looked back down.

"Boy, do I feel like an idiot." He muttered, smiling a little despite himself. It was more out of relief than anything. He arched his neck against the back of the chair, staring up at the ceiling.

"And I thought you kinda wanted to be alone anyway." Yugi said gently. Ryou frowned as he sat up straight, surveying the shorter teen.

"Yugi... You can't be serious." He murmured. "That's exactly what I don't want... Sitting around doing nothing but thinking about him... Why would I ever want that?"

"Because whenever I try to talk about it to you, you always ask to be alone." Yugi protested. "What was I supposed to think?" Ryou bit his lip as he looked down, twirling his fingers together.

"I don't want to talk about it." Ryou said softly. "Th-There isn't anything to talk about. I just want to be semi-normal again. I'm trying to put it behind me, Yugi, I am. I knew staying here wasn't going to be a constant sleepover, but you can treat me like a friend, instead of a leper." Ryou repeated the last words in a stumble rush, his cheeks flushing. "There. I said it."

"What?" Yami shook his head, and Anzu sat, watching the exchange silently. "Is that what you think we think of you, Bakura?"

"What else am I supposed to think?" Ryou protested, drumming his fingers against his knees nervously. "I-If you're not being patronizing and thinking you know how I feel, you're practically abandoning me-"

"Bakura!" Yami blurted out, frowning. "Stop this now! Listen to yourself. We're only trying to help you, there's no need to throw it back in our faces like this!"

"Oh like you could _ever_ understand, Yami! That's what I'm trying to tell you! So can you-"

"Both of you stop it!" Anzu shouted as she stood up. "Yelling isn't going to stop anything! Bakura, we all know how upset you are, but please, tell someone before you run off like that. There's no need to be angry at us for trying. And Yami... Okay, just take Bakura's advice on board, and not make the same mistakes again."

"Oh so it's a mistake is it-"

"Anzu's right." Yugi jumped in, biting his lip. "Let's not fight about this, okay? I don't know about you, but I'm really tired and want to go to bed, but I'm not going if people are going to be fighting like this."

"We're not fighting." Ryou murmured softly, looking back down at his knees. "And I'm finished. I want to go to bed." He stood up, and turned away from the group, crossing his arms around his middle as he walked into his room, closing the door behind him.

"Oh, _nice_." Yugi snarled as soon as Ryou had left the room. "What did I tell you about opening your mouth, Yami? Like he's not feeling bad enough already, you have to make him so much worse-"

"Did you hear the way he was talking?" Yami protested. "How can he talk to us like that? I'm only trying to help."

"He wants our help, and he doesn't." Yugi said gently. "He's really mixed up right now. I think we need to do what he suggested and treat him like a friend and include him and stuff. I feel really awful now."

"Don't feel awful, Yugi." Anzu said softly. "It's going to be okay, I'm sure. Bakura can't stay upset forever, can he?"

"I don't know..." Yugi sighed. "He was happier when the spirit was constantly abusing him. I just feel so sorry for him right now."

"Yeah, I know." Yami said softly. "Me too. I know he screwed up, but no one deserves to go what he went through. He's just a total wreck right now."

"I want to make him feel better." Yugi ran his hands through his hair. "But I just don't know how. Am I supposed to?"

"Of course not." Anzu said softly. "You haven't done anything wrong, Yugi. Like he said, you're not a mind reader. You don't know how he feels if he doesn't tell you."

"Hey guys." The trio looked up to see Jounouchi and Honda in the doorway, soaking wet. "Did you find him?" Jounouchi made a beeline for the heater, crouching in front of it and spreading his palms. Honda followed suit.

"Yeah." Yami muttered. "He came home... Tried to sneak in. He went to bed just before." Jounouchi frowned, and peeled off his dripping coat, throwing it over the arm of the couch.

"Can I talk to him?" Jounouchi asked, rubbing his palms together. Yugi blinked.

"Sure." He shrugged, leaning back in the couch. "Go for it." Jounouchi nodded, and crossed the lounge, walking into the hallway, and finishing outside the door to Ryou's room. He opened the door without knocking, and ran his hand along the wall, looking for the lightswitch. He found it, and flicked it on, sighing at the sight of the teenager curled up on the middle of the bed, crying.

"Hey." Jou shut the door behind him quietly, his feet padding over to the bed. He sat down in the middle, opposite Ryou, with his legs crossed. "How're ya goin', bud?"

"Go away." Ryou muttered dully, his head on his knees. "I don't feel like talking."

"Hey." Jounouchi softened his tone a little. "What's wrong? Come on Bakura, I thought you could tell me anything."

"That was a long time ago." Ryou murmured. "Over a year now. Things change."

"Just because things change, it doesn't mean you're not my friend anymore." He said firmly, crossing his arms. "Something's eating at you, now spill."

"I'm a horrible person." Ryou sounded close to tears as he uttered the words. Jounouchi shook his head slowly, biting his lip.

"No... What makes you say that?" Ryou sniffed, lifting his head a little to wipe his eyes. His hair hung over his face, a silvery veil that shaded his expression.

"Because I am." His voice was thick. "Look at everything I've done. Look at the whole mess with Bakura and Malik..." He sobbed, his arms growing slack around his legs.

"No... Bakura, you were pushed into that, I thought Yugi tried to tell you that. You never wanted to sleep with him, did you?" Ryou sniffed.

"P-Part of me did." Ryou said weakly. "Part of me did, Jou. I liked Malik, I really liked him. When nobody else was around for me, he was there. He totally devoted himself to me. A-And what I f-felt... It wasn't just a crush. I-It was more." Jou froze, his eyes widening. "A-And then when Bakura woke up, I-I just pushed him away. I just said no, that I didn't want to feel that way for him anymore. What kind of friend, what kind of... of lover says that?" Ryou still stared down at his knees. "I was awful to Malik... Th-That was why he told Bakura about what we did. Because he thought that if he couldn't have me then no one could. A-And then I got angry at him and said I never wanted to see him again. And so he's in Egypt and Bakura hates me so much and I now I have no one at all." He broke down into tears, holding his hands over his face as his shoulders shook.

"Oh, Bakura." Jounouchi sighed, shaking his head. "Bakura, look at me." He said more firmly. Ryou kept his head in his hands, shaking. Jounouchi groaned, and grabbed at Ryou's wrists, easily dragging the teenager's hands away from his face. "There."

"Don't." Ryou bowed his head, dropping his chin to his chest. "Please, Jou..."

"Why are you being this way?" Jounouchi said softly. "I just wanna talk to you... Remember how much we used to tell each other? I used to tell you things that I'd never told anyone. Like Dad and... And Seto... And about when I was a kid. Cos you listened. And you never judged. And you went through a lot of similar stuff. And I could trust you, Bakura. You were so strong. Despite everything the spirit had done to you, you just seemed so strong. What the hell happened to you?"

"Bakura broke my heart." Ryou whispered the words before collapsing into tears, his shoulders shaking. Jounouchi looked on at the boy in pity, before dragging on Ryou's wrists, pulling the teenager towards him. Ryou leaned into the blonde, burying his head in Jounouchi's shoulder. Jou bit his lip as he loosely wrapped his arms around Ryou, staring down at fluffy white hair.

"I know he did." Jounouchi muttered. "And I'm really sorry for you. I know how happy you were to be with him. I know how upset you were when he tried to kill himself, and when he fell into coma. You were so tragic, Bakura. But it's okay to not mope on it forever. It's okay to move on. You don't have to dwell on it every second of every day. You know that, right?" Ryou nodded against Jounouchi's shirt, crying. "I know you feel awful, Bakura, but this isn't the way."

"I-I know it's not." Ryou's voice was muffled against Jounouchi's shirt. "But I can't help but feel this way. I don't know what to do with myself. Everything's changed. I've lost my home, Most of the things I own, I've lost _Bakura-_"

"Don't think about him." Jounouchi instructed, grabbing Ryou's shoulders, and pushing him away a little so they stared eye-to-eye. "Come on, Bakura. That's what's making you feel so crummy. You need to occupy yourself. Fill up your time with things. Come hand out with us more often. You know what I mean, right?"

"I-I do." Ryou nodded. "Y-Yugi thought it wasn't a good idea... I kind of blew up at him about that... I didn't mean to, I'm just so stressed and worn-out and upset..."

"You need a good sleep." Jounouchi instructed. "Yugi told me you weren't sleeping right. Being tired all the time is enough to make anyone feel like shit." Ryou nodded weakly. "It's almost two-thirty, and I'm kinda tired myself..."

"I understand, Jou." Ryou forced a smile. "You go to bed... I'll be there myself very shortly." Jounouchi nodded as he let go of the whitenette, and stood up, stretching.

"You gonna be okay?" Ryou nodded weakly, lowering his gaze to the quilt.

"I-I think so." He said softly. Jounouchi nodded, and yawned as he crossed the little space, opening the door. "And Jou?"

"Hm?" The teenager turned back to look at Ryou. The whitenette gave Jounouchi an exhausted, weary look, that somehow managed to look a little happy.

"Thank you for saying that. It's nice to know you're really my friend, that you don't feel obligated to help me." Jounouchi was still for a moment, before his face broke into a smile, and he opened the door a little widely.

"No prob, Bakura."

* * *

Bakura was drawing. 

He'd forgotten about how good it felt. The yami had awoken before dawn, and on an impulse, dug into his bedside table, and extracted his sketch book and pencils. He'd turned on the light, struggling to sketch in the small pool of yellow light, but now it was late morning, and the sun streamed through the window, lighting up the page. It was another demented scene in Bakura's book, one of many. He'd worked on it for ages, using the varying darkness of pencils to create shading, darker and lighter colour, and the illusion of three dimensions. Bakura was sitting up in bed, leaning against the headboard, his book on his knees as he drew. Not a very comfortable position, but he was in one of those spurts, where he could just draw and draw and not stop until his picture was perfect. It was a creative outlet Bakura, as well as a way to express his emotions, how he felt, especially when he wouldn't admit it to himself how he felt.

_Huh. That reminds me of that college course Ryou and Malik forced me to sign up for. I'm so glad nothing came of that. I don't need to get any better at drawing, and I'll be damned if I'll let __**anyone**__ tell me what to do... Man, I __**am**__ an arrogant asshole. _Bakura was both proud, and ashamed of the fact. He let out a long sigh as he finally lifted the pencil away from the page, staring down at what he had done.

It was a prison cell. Bakura had spent hours on shaking the bricks, the shadows on the walls, and the general dark aura it held. It first glance, it appeared to look empty, but when one looked closer, they could make out the tiny figure in the corner, in the deepest shadow, a faint outline of a child curled against the wall.

"Man, I'm fucked up." Bakura snorted, before positioning his darkest pencil on the bottom corner. It was common habit of his to sign and date everything he drew, something Ryou had advised, so no one could claim his work. He let out a long sigh, and closed the book, throwing it to one side. The pencils followed, and Bakura slid back into a horizontal position. He turned his head to one side, quickly, staring out the window. It was a clear, sunny day outside, a rare occurrence in this unnaturally cold spring, but Bakura didn't feel like going outside. He hated going outside, anyway. He liked to wear all black, and the dark colour only attracted the heat, making him stinking hot, and besides, he got sunburn too quickly. Bakura closed his eyes, exhausted, pulling the blankets up to his chin.

_Why did I draw a child?_ The thought caused Bakura's eyes to snap open, and he bit his lip. _I've never drawn a kid before. I hate them. Maybe it has something to do with that little brat yesterday morning... Fuck she was so clingy._

_Ryou was clingy too, when he was a kid. I remember that. I know he went through a lot, but the way he constantly moped was just ridiculous. I seriously felt like hitting him those times. But I didn't, though. Beating kids is crossing the line. They're so naive, they don't know what they're doing._

_Ryou's still a kid._ Bakura bit his lip, clenching the silk sheets tightly. _He is. He's only sixteen. And he's like Malik, he's been put through a hell of a lot. I know he tries to deny it, but he's fucked up. There's just something about his eyes when you look in to him... It's not insanity, but it's fucking close. _Bakura buried his face in the pillow, groaning. _What if this pushes him over the edge? What if he tries to kill himself?_

_I don't care._ Bakura decided, relaxing a little into the mattress. _It'll solve a lot of problems of he died. Maybe I would stop feeling like this_. _But..._

_I forgave Malik._ He remembered, closing his eyes. _All those months ago... I forgave Malik for sleeping with Ryou, because he's a stupid irresponsible child and didn't really know what he was doing._

_Ryou's still a child._

The question loomed in the air above him, but Bakura didn't dare utter it out loud. He didn't even dare to think it. It was wrong. It was totally irrational, and it held no logic, and it angered Bakura that he even considered it for a single moment.

_How is this any different?_

_

* * *

_

There you go... Another chapter down -.- Another million to go.

I exaggerate, hahaha XD

R&R!


	21. Chapter 21

Yeeeeyy!! Two years since the whole Control saga began (And at the rate it's going, it'll be another two years before it's all finished -.-)

I would like to think my writing has improved since then XD

Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING.

* * *

"Ugh. That a shitty morning." Bakura grumbled, ruffling at his hair as he walked into the kitchen. He wore nothing but his tee-shirt and boxers, the ring around his chest. He'd lain in bed for another hour or so after drawing, before hunger drove him to crawl out of bed and try and scrounge up some food. _Although it's probably all gone mouldy by now_...

Bakura sighed as he leaned against the fridge, closing his eyes. He felt so fucked up. Everything was so fucked up. He just wanted to control it all. His situation, his feelings, his general state of mind, for that matter...

"I have to do something." Bakura muttered. _"Fuck_, I just can't stand around forever like this..." He stepped back, and opened the fridge door, staring inside. After a long moment, he closed the door, wrinkling his nose in disgust. Nothing at all. "_FUCK!"_ He cursed loudly, kicking the fridge door. "This is so fucking shitty, I _swear_." He groaned, walking across to the kitchen drawer. He pulled it open, staring down at the contents inside. Bakura wanted this. He _needed _it. The yami stretched out a long, bony finger, starting to stroke the blade of the longest, sharpest knife. He snatched up the black plastic handle on impulse, pressing the knife against the inside of his wrist.

Bakura gasped loudly as he made the first stroke, slicing the pale skin. He stared in sick fascination as the blood welled up along the diagonal line, and then slowly trickled along his arm, dripping onto the floor. He closed his eyes and groaned, arching his neck as he sliced the skin again, more blood gathering on the butcher knife. It _hurt_, the slashes on his arms. But it felt so bloody _good_. Bakura leaned against the kitchen counter, his eyes closed as he enjoyed the deep throbbing of his warm blood dripping from his arm. It passed all too quickly, however, and Bakura was forced to look down at his arm again, staring at the closing wound. Snarling slightly, he pressed the blade firmly into his forearm, and with a flick of the wrist, dragged it up to his elbow.

The knife clattered to the kitchen table, and Bakura bit his lip hard, staring down at his arm. The blood pooled so quickly and easily on the counter, contrasting sharply with the aquamarine tiles. The yami closed his eyes and groaned again, clenching his hands into fists. It felt _so_ good, to have the long, painful stinging and throbbing along the skin, the kind of pain that reverberated all up his arm. It had been so long, so bloody long since Bakura had cut himself, and he missed it like hell. He never needed to hurt himself when he was with Ryou. He never had any emotional battles to try and fight through.

Bakura hissed, and grabbed the knife again as the bloody flow began to slow. He growled as he pushed the blade into the long wound again, holding his breath as the knife cut through more of his tissue. _Don't cut too deep._ He reminded himself, staring at his bleeding arm. _You don't want to end up in hospital again_. Bakura lifted the knife away, raising the blade to his lips. He loved the sweet, coppery tang of blood. He loved the way it looked as it dripped from his lips. He loved the deep, crimson colour that no one could ever recreate, and he _loved_ how it stained everything it touched.

The blood from Bakura's arm continued to pool on the counter, until it overflowed, and started trickling onto the floor. Bakura watched the tiny flow of crimson in sadistic fascination, his eyes slowly narrowing. The yami sank to his knees, slowly sinking down onto the bloody tiles. He leaned against the kitchen cupboards, closing his eyes. Every inch of him shook as he gripped the knife tightly in his hand, his wounded arm throbbing in pain. But Bakura loved the pain. It was good. It reminded him that he lived, that he bled, that he _existed_.

And it reminded him he had control.

Bakura's eyes snapped open, and he looked down. His knees were drawn up almost to his chest, his toes curling against the bloody tiles. There was no hesitation as he roughly pressed the knife on his leg, just below his knee. He pressed in as deep as he could without touching tendons or bone, and dragged it down to his outer ankle. Blood quickly welled up in its wake, trickling down his leg and pooling on the floor. The knife slipped from Bakura's fingers, clanging to the floor, splashing in the blood. Bakura closed his eyes, his arm and leg pounding in pain. Sweet, glorious pain. Bakura craved it. He relaxed against the kitchen counter, enjoying the sensations, his arms and legs totally lax. He didn't feel like there were any words to describe the thrill of slicing the blade through soft white skin, of watching the blood stain him.

"Fuck." He finally managed to speak, his shoulder slumping in a long sigh. He didn't feel hungry anymore. The adrenalin of hurting himself, of watching the blood touch everything and stain it easily took care of that. Bakura groaned, and drew his knees up closer do his chest, resting his forehead on his kneecaps, as the blood still flowed.

"I'm fucked up." Bakura muttered to himself. "I'm really, really fucked up." He slowly raised his head from his knees, staring down at his leg. Fascinated almost, he pressed a finger into the long wound, starting to follow the crimson trail down his pale, skinny leg. He bit his lip hard in pain, withdrawing his finger quickly. He held it up to the light, staring at the blood for a long time, before noticing that the throbbing had dissipated, and he was left with emptiness and exhaustion. Bakura sighed and leaned back, his head starting to hurt. The yami looked down at himself, realising that he was covered in blood. _Shit_. _I suppose I better wash it off..._ After a long time, he managed to stand up, leaning against the counter. He felt strangely lightheaded... _Maybe I went a bit too far_. He shook his head, growling. Maybe he didn't go far enough. He could still feel it inside, the anger and insecurities. It felt like it was swallowing him whole. Bakura wrapped his arms around himself as he slowly stumbled into the bathroom, a trail of blood following him. _Maybe a long hot bath will help me clear my head... Maybe_. He swallowed as he leaned against the doorframe, staring into the little bathroom. He half limped, half walked across to the bath, sinking to his knees and reaching across the frost-white bath. He turned on the taps easily, watching as the hot water swirled down the drain. _Put the plug in you fool!_ He growled, pressing the rubber plug into the drain. He jerked his hand back, gasping as it became immersed in the steaming water, blinking. He frowned slightly as he raised his hand to his eyes, staring at the red skin which still stung. On impulse, Bakura turned the hot tap further, the rush of hot water slowly filling the tub increasing. The yami swallowed as he pulled off his bloodstained clothes, leaning over the rim of the bath as he stared down at the water.

Finally, the bath was full enough to his liking. Bakura reached over and turned the taps off, ceasing the water flow. He pressed his hands onto the rim of the bath forcing himself to stand again. He looked down at the water, and at the steam what furled through the air. His heart thudding a little in trepidation, Bakura lifted his leg, his wounded one, and placed it in the bath. He gasped, and arched his neck in pain at the extreme heat of the bath, but forced himself to step into the bath fully, biting his lip to keep from screaming. Screaming or moaning, he didn't know. Bakura held his breath as he sat down in the water, eyes widening. _Fuck_ that was hot! He hissed, but held his arms in the water, watching blood slowly ooze out of his arm and leg and eventually mingle with the water. After a moment, Bakura forced himself to lie totally under the water, every inch of his skin stinging and throbbing in pain. Oh, that _hurt_. It was rather like being boiled alive, Bakura mused, relishing the pain. Eventually though, he ran out of air, and was forced to lift his head from the water, his face flushed, panting and sweating.

"Fuck." He groaned, half-submerging his head back in the water, his face still floating. The back of his head stung particularly bad, but Bakura tried to force it down, closing his eyes as his skin stung. He lay there for as long as he could bear it, forcing himself to stay in the hot water. It became a mind over matter thing within ten minutes, and Bakura was able to easily bear the pain. He groaned slightly. Was it wrong to take some kind of sick pleasure from the awful sensation of your skin slowly scalding?

_Of course it is,_ Bakura snorted._ Who the hell am I kidding? I'm screwed up and I know it. At least I have the guts to admit it to myself._

_I don't know how much more of this I can take. Something has to happen. _

_And soon. _

* * *

"Morning, Bakura!"

Ryou smiled tiredly as he rubbed at his eyes, staring around at the living room. Jounouchi and Honda were still sprawled out across the floor, sleeping, and Yugi and Yami shared the couch, deeply involved in a video game.

"Anzu's in the kitchen." Yugi explained, his fingers flying across the plastic controller. "Yami's making her cook breakfast." The male bristled.

"I did not _make_ her-"

"You so did! She said she was bored and you said she should make breakfast! You said it was the womanly thing to do." He sighed. "God, Yami, if she didn't have a crush on you, she would be so mad."

"She didn't- What?" Ryou smiled as he walked out of the living room, Yami's voice carrying throughout the house. "Are you serious?"

"Hey Anzu." Ryou murmured gently as he entered the kitchen, smiling slightly. "You okay?" Anzu was bent over a mixing bowl, blowing brown bangs out of her eyes.

"Yes, I'm _fine," _She said huffily. "I'm just making pancakes for Yami, because he's too lazy to do it himself, I _swear_..."

"Here." Ryou came to the brunette's rescue. "Look, you're stirring the batter wrong. If you that, you're just going to get a sore arm..." Anzu raised an eyebrow as Ryou gently took the mixing bowl from her. "See, if you tip it on the side and fold it, rather and stir it, you get the lumps out much faster..."

"You cook?" Anzu frowned. Ryou blushed.

"When you live alone, there's skills you need to know." He explained to the girl, gently stirring the mixture. "Aside from that, Ba- The spirit used to kind of demand that I cooked for him every night and made him breakfast. So I have to um, learn pretty quickly."

"He hurt you bad." Anzu murmured. "Bakura, that's so mean. Why did you put up with it? Why didn't you ever leave?" Ryou sighed, smiling softly, sadly as he mixed the batter slowly.

"Because people do crazy things for love." He said softly, staring down at the pasty-coloured mixture. "Come on Anzu, you're been in love before, haven't you?" The brunette blushed, and looked away.

table, looking around for that little wooden box. He found it, and used the key to unlock

"Yeah..." She said softly. "But I don't think I could go through that..."

"Trust me." Ryou set the mixing bowl on the table, the batter smooth and lumps gone. "If it was staring you in the face, if you had to make a choice, you would choose to stay with him, No matter how much he was hurting you." Ryou turned, and walked silently out of the room, leaving the brunette to stand there, at a total loss for words.

* * *

Bakura sighed as he pulled the shirt over his head, staring at himself in the mirror. He looked like some kind of fucked-up strawberry sundae. The yami fluffed his hair out from underneath his collar, and slowly sat down on the edge of his bed. His anger had finally dissipated, and the only reminder he had left were the red, painful-looking knife wounds on his arm and leg, and the still pink tinge of his skin. He looked away, across the room, clenching his hands into fists.

"I need to get food." Bakura muttered as his stomach rumbled pathetically. He hadn't eaten anything since yesterday morning, and he was starting to feel weak. He heaved an enormous sigh, and stood up, padding over to the dresser. He didn't look at the reflection as he opened the drawer, searching for his particular pair of socks, rolled up in the corner. They were a horrible, dark brown colour, and Bakura never wore them. But then again, he didn't mean to. He unrolled the socks, and found the key inside. He shut the drawer, and marched over to his bedside it. He lifted the ornately carved wooden lid, and picked up the object inside.

Another key.

Bakura smirked as he stood up, and headed towards the wardrobe. True, his whole setup was odd, and some might think Bakura was extremely paranoid. He pulled aside the pile of clothes on the bottom, staring at the floorboards. They came up easily, and Bakura didn't even have to grab his knife to pry them apart. The extremely thick cashbox lay in the little hole, about the size of two shoeboxes stacked on one another. Bakura smiled, and lifted it out, his muscular, but thin arms straining. He slid the key in the lock, and turned it. Now all that was left was the combination._ At least the brain damage didn't make me forget it._ Bakura smirked, easily turning the dial. He pulled the thick metal door open, his chest swelling with pride as he looked down on it.

His loot.

Around half a dozen bundles of notes littered the cashbooks, tied with rubber bands. Each was worth ten thousand dollars. Bakura counted them himself. But despite that, a little velvet bag, about the size of his fist in the corner was worth three times of the rest of the safe, combined. Despite himself, Bakura pulled the little string on the bag, He couldn't resist tipping a few of the diamonds onto his hand marvelling how they sparkled in the light. Over fifty top-quality diamonds, all at least two carats. And that was less than half of Bakura's original raid. There were other things in the safe, fine jewellery, gold and platinum statuettes, and a single almond-sized sapphire in a red velvet box. Bakura lifted one of the bundles of notes, hurriedly pulling off the rubber band. He pulled out five of the hundred dollar bills, before closing the safe, fiddling with the combination so it couldn't be pulled open, and replaced his keys.

Bakura sighed as he slid the five hundred dollars into his wallet, his old leather one that was worn soft. He caught a glance of himself in the mirror as he turned away, his shoulders slumping. _Man, I look like utter shit._ Bakura used to pride himself in his appearance, but looking at himself now, he realised just how far he had gone. How much weight he lost. His once skin tight jeans were baggy on his legs, the long-sleeved shirt draping over his slimmer shoulders. The shirt revealed much more neck than it used to, and Bakura's collarbone, and the top of his ribs could clearly be seen. Bakura pulled at his shirt self-consciously, trying to hide less of his neck. He stared at his face, noticing his almost protruding cheekbones, and the sick-looking dark grey circles under his eyes. He looked like a panda, and it was awful.. _Hell. Why the fuck do I even care anymore? It's not like I've got anyone to look good for_. Bakura's heart sank a little bit as he slid his worn leather wallet into his back pocked, heading for the front door. He headed into the spare kitchen, where his car keys (and spare house keys) were located in the secret compartment of the fruit bowl.

"Okay." He muttered as he slammed the front door behind himself. "Let's do this."

* * *

Ryou stared long at himself in the reflection as he brushed his hair. He dragged the bristles through his tangled white locks, wincing as the strands were pulled. Ryou's hair was probably one of his major flaws, his vanity for his hair. He loved to sift it through his fingers, brush it for extended periods of time, wash it for ten minutes in the shower. But Ryou couldn't help it. Besides, practically every girl in school shared Ryou's view on his hair. And half the guys.

The whitenette smiled, and shook his head a little, despite himself. He set his brush down on the dressing table, turning away. Bakura loved his hair, too. He loved it far more than Ryou did. It almost fascinated him, how Ryou's hair could be so shimmery and smooth and silky and smell so good when his was always a tangled mess. Ryou's shoulders slumped in a long sigh as he sank onto the edge of the bed. _You just had to think of him, didn't you? And you were actually doing so well..._ Ryou groaned as he flopped back down on the bed, casting his mind back to last night. _Maybe it was all a big waste of time. I'm beyond anyone's help, aren't I?_

_I just wish I could stop thinking about him. It's driving me insane, thinking about him all the time. I just want him to forgive me and take me back. I forgave Bakura for **raping** me. Has he forgotten everything he did to me? I forgave Bakura because I loved him and wanted to be with him. Has he really forgotten that?_

_I need to stop_. Ryou wrinkled his nose as he sat up, staring at himself in the mirror. His hair was tousled and untidy again. Groaning, the teenager dragged the brush through his hair a few times, before pushing the door open and running into the kitchen.

"Bakura!" Yugi smiled, perched on the kitchen counter, notepad in hand. Yami grunted from the pantry, his head and shoulders in the little space. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing." Ryou forced a smile. "What are you up to?" Yami sighed as he extracted his head from the pantry, rolling his eyes.

"We need food." He reported, closing the pantry door. "Yugi's writing out a list. We need more noodles, too." He reported to the teenager, who nodded, making a little note on the paper.

"Who's getting them?" Ryou tilted his head to one side, covering his mouth as he yawned. Yugi shrugged, chewing on the end of his pencil.

"Grandpa can, but he has some trouble lifting the bags home himself, and Yami's in the middle of a video game war with Jounouchi and Honda. So I guess I get the job." He sighed.

"I can go for you." Ryou suggested, scratching the back of his head. "I certainly don't have any plans for the day, and I'm good at buying things really cheaply... I can even buy some extra things and cook dinner for a few nights this week." Yugi smiled widely.

"Really Bakura? You'll do that?" Ryou nodded, forcing another grin.

"Yeah." He nodded. "Of course."

"Hey, thanks!" He nodded, jumping onto the kitchen floor. He tore the top page off the notepad, and handed it to the whitenette. "Grandpa's in the store. He'll give you the money." Ryou nodded, accepting the piece of paper. He folded it in half, sliding it into his pocket.

"Sure thing Yugi." He smiled slightly, this time, it was a little more real. "I wont be long."

* * *

"Hmm... Steak." Ryou pushed the trolley in front of him, surveying the chiller full of meat. He left his trolley by the chicken as he grasped the shopping list, peering down at all the different packaged meats. He knew Yami liked lots of fat on his steak (A subconscious eating habit passed down from his previous life) but they were hard to come by. Ryou was oblivious to everyone else as he leaned over the chiller, searching for the perfect cut that would satisfy Yami's wants.

"There." He finally murmured, grabbing at a piece of steak that as closer to the front. Just as he did, however, a second hand gripped at the steak. Ryou blinked, and tugged slightly, trying to claim it for his. The second hand on the meat tensed suddenly, as though in shock. Frowning, Ryou lifted his gaze, without stopping to realize that the bony white hand was almost a carbon copy of his.

Bakura.

Ryou's breath hitched in his throat, and his mouth went dry as he stared at the man he still loved, the man who rejected him. On instinct, he clutched onto the steak tighter, his hand starting to tremble. Both of the white-haired males stared each other up and down, gave the other a once-over, before drawing the same conclusion.

_He looks awful. _

_He looks like shit. _

Ryou's eyes locked with Bakura's, and despite all his efforts, the yami just couldn't pull away. He kept his gaze focused sharply on the teenager's wide brown eyes, that were slowly starting to glisten with tears. Ryou and Bakura, darkness and light, just stared. Ryou's heart thudded in his throat, and he felt oddly numb at seeing Bakura again. It felt as though the gaping wound had just been ripped open again, staring at him, staring at what had been denied to him. Bakura just looked at Ryou, noticing how his clothes hung off him, how starved he looked and how lines were even starting to form under his eyes. Even his hair hung limp, losing the vibrance and fluffiness it once held.

_I've done this._ It felt like a punch in the stomach to Bakura. He had caused Ryou's deteriorating condition. He didn't just look tired, Ryou looked downright unhealthy. Something in Bakura's chest snapped. A tiny, tiny part of him, no larger than a grain of desert sand, longed to hold Ryou, to hug him close and tell him he was sorry and that he was going to make him better. But the remainder of his body just remained as cold and unforgiving as an iceberg.

Ryou opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and closed it again. He swallowed deeply, still staring into Bakura's crimson-mahogany orbs. He felt like he could just get lost in there forever. His hands shook so hard, the steak almost trembled. Bakura stared at Ryou for another second, before snapping. He released his hold on the steak, the sudden weight change making the teenager gasp, and turned on his heel. Ryou whimpered, and jerked his head to the side as Bakura angrily stomped away from the whitenette, not giving him a backwards glance. It felt like Ryou's mouth was full of sand. He clung to the steak like a lifeline, tears clinging to long dark lashes. It was like his chest had just caved in. It was the worst feeling ever. Ryou was ashamed of himself as he stared after the figure, who was almost running away from the teen, visible for only a few seconds, before he was swallowed up by the crowd. Ryou rubbed at his eyes, starting to cry. _I couldn't even say hello to him_... _Why am I such a coward? _

The teenager moped back to his trolley, leaning heavily against the handlebar as he cried, white hair falling over his face like a shroud of mourning. A white shroud.

* * *

"Fucking _Hell!"_ Bakura swore the moment he was in the safety of his own home. He almost threw the paper bags down onto the kitchen counter, carelessly kicking off his shoes as he started sorting through his food. It was little more than large slabs of meat –his favourite- and cups of ramen –Which even a retard could cook- and milk for coffee._ Coffee! I forgot the fucking coffee!_ Bakura threw the meat into the fridge, angrily forcing the milk into the side shelf. He slammed the door with all the force he could muster, and ran into the lounge. The yami buried his face into the couch cushions as he moaned, overcome by anger and confusion.

"Fuck you Ryou!" Bakura screamed as he lifted his head. "This is all your fucking fault!" Seeing the boy there, seeing what he had become... Part of it just killed Bakura inside, seeing what he had done to Ryou. He'd made him physically sick looking. It wasn't exhaustion that caused it, or a poor diet (although those would have undoubtedly been factors) It was mental anguish, brought about by Bakura. The yami felt... guilty. He never thought it would have affected Ryou this way. He thought Ryou would be upset, but eventually get over it, or something, and move on. _Who the hell am I kidding? It's Ryou. He's going to be in limbo for the rest of his life._ Bakura leaned into the couch, staring up at the ceiling. He felt a bit sorry for Ryou. After all, waiting nine months for someone to wake up, then being rejected by them was pretty heartbreaking.

_But he brought it upon himself._ Bakura reminded himself. _He slept with Malik. If he **really** loved you, then he wouldn't do that. The little slut's getting what he deserves_.

Bakura always told that to himself whenever he started doubting his motive.

* * *

Awwwh. Someone's emotionally insecure! Hehehehe.

And we get to see Malik next chapter! YEY! (I think XD)

R&R!


	22. Chapter 22

Oh yeah. Admire the chapter.

Jokes XD

Sorru this took so long. -sigh- I had no internets for a week... it was HELL

Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING.

* * *

_Fuck that hurts_.

A ghost of a smile drifted across Bakura's face as he ran the sharp blade up his forearm, watching the perfect white skin tear in the wake of the metal, blood welling up and overflowing, smearing across the knife and dripping onto the bedsheets. Bakura lay on his back in bed, his shoulders and back propped up with an abundance of pillows. The yami let out a long sigh, his eyes drifting shut. The sense of realism returned, the pain and the throbbing and the wet feeling of blood across his skin...

_God_... The knife slid from Bakura's bloodstained fingers, falling with a _thump_ onto the bedsheets. Bakura groaned, one arm under the blankets, the other, wounded limb sprawled out across the sheets. Bakura felt weak- He'd been losing too much blood recently, and he knew it.

_I should make better use of it._ Bakura sat up straight, the quick, sudden movement giving him a head rush. He gasped, holding his good hand to his forehead. Bakura remained still, disorientated for a moment, before he reached over, rifling through his bedside table. The white-haired male froze, his heart thudding in his chest when he came across the stack of Polaroid pictures he had taken of Ryou, so long ago. He lifted them out of the draw, his hands trembling as he stared down at the images. He could remember taking them like it was just yesterday. Ryou was so_ shy_, so timid and reluctant to pose, or look flirtatious in the negligee Bakura had bought. And yet Bakura had managed to make him look so sultry and sexy, splayed out on the mattress...

_That fucking whore. I bet he enjoyed it the whole time._ The bridge of Bakura's nose creased in a snarl as he stared down at the photo's. _He's such a dirty slut_. Overcome with rage, Bakura tore at the photo's, biting hard on his lip as he ripped the coloured images in half, scrunched them into wads and flung them away, throwing them into the darkness, as far away as he could.

"Fucking _Hell!" _Bakura screamed, his head bowed, and hands clenched into fists. His breathing was expelled in harsh, punctuated gasps, his limbs trembling and heart thudding. He was losing control, and the yami knew it. He knew he had to calm down. He needed to control himself again. And there was only one way he knew how to.

He grabbed the knife, the plastic-handled knife in his bony hands, pressing it to his arm. Bakura actually fought back tears as the metal bit into his skin, bringing more blood to the surface. Bakura slashed at his arms without thought, without mercy to himself. He just wanted to cause pain to himself, wanted to cause blood. He wanted as much of the crimson liquid to flow as he could, wanted to bleed until the sheets were soaked with red. Until he was reduced to a limp huddle on the sheets, gasping, weak, and wracked with agony. The yami kicked the sheets away from himself angrily, staring down at his largely unscarred legs. He found the long cut, the souvenir of two days ago, and ran over it again, holding his breath as he stared to bleed, blood trickling down his ankles.

Bakura kept his eyes tightly closed as he started running over the long slash in firm, diagonal lines, blood collecting on his knife, his fingers sliding on the slippery plastic handle. The yami continued to stroke his legs with the knife, switching from the left to the right when the pain grew a little too unbearable. Bakura pressed his lips together, still performing the angry masochism blind. Finally, the yami thought that it was enough. His lips parted in a seemingly eternal sigh, his hand still grasping the knife, albeit weakly. He groaned, sinking into the soft mattress, burying his face in the pillow. It fucking _hurt_, like no tomorrow, his arms and legs, the skin broken and bleeding. At least Bakura got what he wanted. Ryou was completely out of his mind as he lay lax in the sheets. All he could feel as the pain and the blood, slowly oozing out of his wounds, seeping across the sheets and staining them red.

At least Bakura got what he wanted.

* * *

"H-Here's the groceries." Ryou's skinny arms were straining as he set the heavy paper bags up on the kitchen counter. "A-And here's the change." Yugi nodded gratefully, accepting the thin wad of notes. "I-I only bought a f-few extra things." Ryou was still shaking madly, and tears constantly threatened to spill form his eyes. Yugi frowned when he noticed the state of his friend, his brow creased in concern.

"What's wrong Bakura?" He asked, tilting his head to one side. Ryou blinked, and pressed his lips together, looking away. Neither of the teens saw Jounouchi enter the room, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway.

"I-I..." Ryou's voice broke, and he swallowed, He raised soft brown eyes heavenward for a long moment, before bringing himself back down to earth. He wanted to forget it ever happened, but the moments just kept replaying over and over in his mind. Bakura. _He just looks so awful. The hospital's supposed to make you feel better, but he looks worse than when he was in there. What did they do to him?_

_Or maybe he misses me._

_It might be true. I'm the only person who knows just how stubborn Bakura is. He'd never admit to himself that he really does love me._

_Or maybe he just hates me now._

"Bakura?" Ryou jumped. "What's wrong?" He stared into wide plum-coloured eyes, and swallowed.

"I-I..." Ryou tried. "I saw him at the supermarket." He expelled the last words in a rush, avoiding Yugi's eyes. The shorter male blinked, and froze. "I tried to talk to him again, b-but I just couldn't. H-He didn't say anything, either. He just walked off." Ryou sniffed.

"Oh... I'm sorry." Yugi sighed. "I am. So... He doesn't even want to talk to you now?"

"N-No." Ryou held back a sob, turning away. "I-I have to go now..." Yugi sighed deeply as Ryou almost ran out of the kitchen, pushing past Jounouchi in the doorway, on the way to his bedroom.

"Woa!" Jounouchi frowned as Ryou burst out of the room, blinking. "Hey, Bakura, wait!" He exchanged a quick glance with Yugi before following the whitenette, biting his lip as he gripped the doorhandle. "Bakura, come on, let me in." It was a long moment before the door slowly opened, a red-eyed Ryou standing on the doorway. "Hey." His tone was considerably softer as he stared at the paler teenager, forcing a small smile on his face. "You okay?"

"No." Ryou whispered, slowly shaking his head. His shoulders shook with the fresh prospect of tears, and he forced down a sob. Jounouchi entered the room, and softly closed the door behind himself. He took Ryou by the shoulders, gently guiding the teenager over to the bed.

"Talk." He muttered simply, staring into wide chocolate eyes. Ryou's lips were pressed together, and he gazed questioningly at the blonde.

"Wh-What about?" He breathed, brushing a lock of soft white hair out of his eyes. "I-I don't understand."

"Just talk to me, Bakura." Jounouchi said firmly. "Say something. You need to talk. I don't care what it's about. It can be about him if you want. I just want you to talk to me. I want you to open up."

"Jounouchi..."

"Come on!" Jounouchi raked his fingers through his hair. "Bakura, I know there's things you need to get off your chest. You have no one at all to talk to. Do you know how bad that is? You need to say _something_."

"Like what?" Ryou wiped the tear tracks from his face. "I don't have anything to say-"

"Damnit Bakura, I'm trying to help!" Jounouchi moaned, bowing his head. "Please. I don't know what to do. I feel like blood crap, just sitting here and not helping you."

"You don't have to help me." Ryou whispered, closing his eyes. It was actually sunny outside, and golden beams filtered through the windowpane, illuminating his face. "I don't want anyone's help."

"Then what are you going to do?" Jounouchi muttered. "Are you just going to sit around for the rest of your life, moping about him?" Ryou shrugged. "Come on, Bakura! I know you don't look it, but... Well, you're strong. You try your damn hardest not to let anything get you down. And look at you. You've fallen apart."

"How would you feel." Ryou whispered. "H-How would you feel, Jounouchi, to have everything you ever wanted. T-To have a nice house and lots of money and someone you loved so _much_..." He voice broke. "A-And how would you feel to have it all taken away from you?" Jounouchi sighed.

"I would feel bad Bakura, yeah. But you know what? I would get over it. I'd realise that if that person couldn't forgive me for one mistake, one stupid mistake when they have hurt me _so_ much more, I'd realise that they just wouldn't be worth it." Ryou slowly shook his head, fresh tears streaming down his face.

"But he _is._" The teenager moaned. "Bakura's worth it. He's worth that and so much more. You don't understand Jounouchi, you don't understand how mixed up he is. Don't you realise that he's never had anyone to care for him?" Jounouchi sighed. "He didn't."

"Come on." Jounouchi said diplomatically. "Everyone has parents-"

"Not everyone has parents who care." Ryou butted in. "Jou, Egypt was a long time ago. If anyone had kids back then, ninety percent of them would die before they were ten. I don't know the exact numbers... But the point is, his parents couldn't care. How would you feel if you showered so much love and affection on them, and they just died?"

"I'd feel terrible." Jounouchi muttered. "But-"

"Exactly." Ryou sighed. "They were too afraid to care. So took the easy way out. They didn't. Bakura's never had anyone to call a friend, never had anyone who said they loved him. No one but me." The whitenette looked down at his hands. "That's why he was confused. That's why he still is. He doesn't know what love is. He doesn't know what it is he's feeling. And all the darkness and hurt... It's twisted him. The anger and hate, it's all he knows. It overrides everything else, even love and compassion. A-And right now, that anger, a-and that hate... It's pointed at me." Ryou buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking.

"Hey..." Jounouchi's shoulders slumped in a long sigh. "Look. He can't hate you forever. I promise you, Bakura. One day, he's going to wake up, and realise that he's a big idiot for letting you go. And he's going to beg for you to take him back." Ryou let out a derisive snort. "What?"

"Like that will ever happen." Ryou muttered. "Like I said, he hates me. A-and it doesn't matter if he loves me or not because he'll never admit it to himself." Jounouchi bit his lip, in thought.

"Okay." He straightened up a little more, trying to look professional. "Answer this for me, Bakura. Straight up. What was the sex like?" Ryou's head jerked up, and his eyes widened. "What?"

"I-I can't answer that!" Ryou's face blushed bright red, and he looked away. "Th-That's-"

"Oh come on, Mr. I've-done-it-over-a-hundred-times." Jounouchi arched an eyebrow. "It was good, wasn't it?" Ryou blushed, nodding weakly. "And he obviously enjoyed it if he kept coming back-"

"Jounouchi, where is this going?" Ryou interrupted, letting out a long sigh. "I don't get it..."

"Do you think that he's _not_ going to start missing the sex after having it twice a day, then going cold turkey? And admit it Bakura. You look like a girl, but you have practically every chick in school queuing up to date you. You're good-looking. Where else is he going to find a young good-looking guy that he connects with and puts out for him so much?" Ryou let out a long sigh, his fingers still woven in his hair. "Look at it from his view. You're the greatest thing that ever happened to him. Do you think he'd throw it away forever?"

"Yes." Ryou let out a long sigh. "I know you're doing your best to make me feel better, but you just can't understand why he does what he does. He won't go for someone else again. He might have a lot of one-night stands with people, but he'll never settle down. Not like with me. He thinks love is nothing but a weakness. Do you know hard it was for him to admit that we should be together?"

"If it was so hard for him that time, then it must have stuck in his mind, Bakura. So why is it so hard for him to remember what it was like?" Ryou's eyes closed, and he shrugged helplessly.

"I cheated on him, Jounouchi." Ryou whispered. "That... I don't think you realise how much that hurt Bakura. I know he loved me and everything, but he still saw me as his. Something to own. H-He said it once. He said that I was his and he didn't share." Jounouchi's eyes widened. "We loved each other, but there were still this sense of master and slave... I-I don't know how to explain it. But there was something there that still carried over from all those years of hate and anger and abuse... I ignored it. I tried. I-I thought that if Bakura still loved me, then it shouldn't matter, should it? I-If we still loved each other... Then nothing would have mattered. I-I would have done anything for him if it meant retaining his love... I still will." Ryou's voice was flat, and emotionless. He just sounded drained. "I always will."

"He's a bastard." Jounouchi muttered. "You can do so much better, Bakura. You could pull in anyone you wanted, anyone in the school. I bet if you tried hard enough, you could even get Seto bloody Kaiba. Why are you hung up on a sadistic bastard who's convinced he hates you?"

"B-Because I don't love Seto Kaiba!" Ryou sobbed. "I don't love anyone in the school! I don't love anyone but Bakura. H-He's all I want... H-He's just all I want..." Jounouchi cast eyes to the ceiling.

"What about Malik?" Ryou froze, his wide brown eyes gaping at the blonde. "What? You love him, don't you?"

"I..." Ryou paused, his chin trembling. "Yes... No... I-I don't know. I like him a lot, a-and I don't know... Maybe sometime in the future there might be something between us. But after what he did... A-And then after I pushed him away... There's a lot of hurt there. A-And it wouldn't feel completely right. I'd be happy, and I wouldn't be alone, but I just wouldn't feel totally _right_. There's really only one person who makes me feel like that."

"I'm sorry, Bakura." Jounouchi said simply. "I don't know what to say. By the sounds of things, you're waiting for him to forgive you and take you back, but at the same time, you think it's never going to happen. 'Aint that a bit of a contradiction?"

"Yeah..." Ryou flopped back down on the bed with a long sigh, his head on the pillows, staring up at the ceiling. "But I don't know what else to think." He fell silent, appearing deep in though. Jounouchi bit his lip, staring at a chip in the wallpaper. Both were quiet for what seemed like a long time.

"He looks awful." Ryou's voice was slightly hoarse as he broke the silence. Jounouchi blinked, snapped his attention from the wallpaper to Ryou, who still stared up at the ceiling.

"Who?" Jounouchi frowned slightly, although he already knew the answer. Ryou sighed, deeply, his eyes half-lowered.

"Bakura." Ryou whispered. "He's lost so much weight... He's almost as skinny as I am. Th-That's really not healthy, I know it." Jounouchi raised an eyebrow. _If he's unhealthy and he's not as skinny as you, then what are you?_ He didn't voice his opinion, though, choosing instead to look down at his hands. "He looks like he hasn't slept in so long... He was just a total mess. And the sleeve of his shirt hiked up a little when he grabbed the meat. I saw his arms. He-He's started cutting himself again."

"He's lost heaps of weight, he's not sleeping, and he's slashing his wrists." Jounouchi shook his head from side to side, slowly. "Bakura, he needs you." The whitenette fought back a sob, tears filling his eyes.

"I know." Was all he managed to say.

* * *

"Hey."

"Piss off."

"Malik!"

The Egyptian groaned. He buried himself deeper under his nest of blankets, taking deep breaths of the warm, stale air. The bedding was stifling in the dry Egyptian atmosphere, but the blonde didn't shrug them off. He didn't deserve to leave his bed and face the sun.

"You know, some people would just say you were being lazy." Isis crossed her arms, leaning against the doorway. "Malik, this isn't right."

"I told you to piss off." Malik muttered, keeping himself under the bedcovers. Isis was silent as she strode across the room, before bringing up to a stop beside the bed.

"I'm not leaving." She sighed, staring down in pity at the lump beneath the sheets. "I have the day off today. How about you get up and we go out for a walk or something? We can go shopping if you want." She offered, trying her hardest to be normal.

"No." Malik muttered, clutching the pillow tighter. "Go 'way." Isis's shoulders slumped.

"At least take the blankets off you and get some sun on you." Isis sighed. "It's a lovely day, why not come out and enjoy it?"

"Because I don't deserve it." Malik muttered, his tone low and angry. "I deserve to stay in here." Isis sighed again, rubbing at her head.

"Malik..." She groaned, slowly sinking down on the mattress. She sat on the edge of the bed rather cautiously, biting her lip and placing a hand on the lump under the blankets. Malik froze. "Please stop this. You've been beating yourself up for weeks. Isn't it time you forgave yourself?" Malik shook his head under the blankets, fighting back tears.

"No." He muttered, trying to keep his voice flat. "I wanna be alone." Isis looked down at her younger sibling in pity.

"Listen to me." She gently started moving her hand up and down over the lump, soothingly rubbing Malik's back. "You've done much worse than this, Malik. You've killed before, without a second thought." Malik stiffened.

"Don't remind me." He muttered, red-eyed. Isis pressed her lips together.

"What I am trying to say, is that I just don't understand why you are having a reaction like this, Malik. Some things you've done are so much worse-"

"But they're not as personal!" Isis jumped as Malik sat up, the blankets falling from him. "They weren't close to me! N-Not like Bakura and Ryou..." He tried, and failed, to blink away tears. Isis folded her hands in her lap, regarding Malik solemnly. "I-I've hurt them so much, Isis. I've done so much damage. I just don't know if I can ever forgive myself. I just never thought Ryou would be this angry..." He held his hands over his mouth, his shoulders shaking as he fought the sobs down.

"Malik-"

"I wanna be alone." Malik muttered out of the blue, his voice hoarse. Isis froze, and opened her mouth to respond, before closing it, and standing up. She turned away from her brother, her shoulders slumped in defeat. "Th-Thanks."

"Y-You're welcome, I guess." Isis whispered, her heart aching for Malik. The blonde lay back down on the bed, curled up on his side away from the door. He promptly drew the blankets up to his nose. "But Malik." Isis bit her lip as she turned back, one hand on the doorframe. She stared at the huddled form of Malik, who lay, unmoving. But she knew he was listening. "Just remember... You may have done the wrong here, but there's only one person who can make it right... Bring them back together."

"Who." Malik muttered, rolling his eyes. Isis looked at her sibling earnestly, forcing a smile.

"You."

* * *

"Fuck." Bakura groaned, rubbing at his head as he stumbled into the lounge. He felt rotten inside. The pain in his arms and legs had faded away, and he just felt drained, angry, and... guilty. He was destroying Ryou, and he knew it.

"I need to get pissed." Bakura muttered, rubbing at his forehead. It sounded _so_ good, allowing his mind to give way to the sweet ignorant bliss of alcohol. Drowning himself sounded like bliss. Just being able to _forget_ everything would be his paradise. Bakura swallowed, sinking into the seat of the sofa.

"But there's none left." Bakura groaned, holding his head in his hands. And he was right. Ryou had gotten rid of all of his secret stash of alcohol months ago. _And nothing that sells any will be open at this time of night_. "Fuck."

_There's always the clubs._ Bakura dared to smile slightly. True. He could always go to a club or a bar, for his alcohol. The yami bit his lip slightly, mulling it over.

"Oh well." After a long time, he finally stood up, arching his back and stretching. "It's better than nothing... Where the hell is my other coat..." He sauntered into his wardrobe, sighing as he surveyed the garments that were left. He finally found his old leather jacket, that was slightly worn, and had a tear in the lining. He shrugged it onto his bony frame, fluffing his hair out from under his collar. He chose not to look into his reflection as crossed the room, slamming the door behind him with a force that made the walls shake. He shoved his wallet inside his jeans pocket, and grabbed at his keys from the kitchen counter, and paused for a long moment, letting out a long sigh and closing his eyes. He snapped out of it in less than a minute, however, straightening his back and slamming the door behind him.

* * *

YEY:D

Hehehehe. Malik! XD He plays a bigger part later, I swears.

And yes, there's only about... oh, 3 or 4 chapters left of this, I think. God willing.

I can't wait. X.X

R&R!


	23. Chapter 23

Oh, I say! -inserthandflap-

-giggle- Okay. I SWEAR I will get over that soon XD

Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING!

* * *

"Want another one?"

Bakura raised an eyebrow as the empty glass was taken away from him, and nodded, lowering his gaze back down to the top of the bar. He rested his head on his hands, staring down at the grain of wood, his heart still settling around in his stomach.

_I still feel like shit. Maybe the drink doesn't work anymore. Fuck that __**better**__ not be the case._ Bakura wrinkled his nose, snarling, accepting the fresh glass of alcohol. He drained half of it in a gulp, making a face at the unpleasant taste. _That still tastes as bitter as hell... maybe I have lost it._ Bakura sighed, burying his head deeper in his hands. He still remembered. He still remembered Ryou, about how the teenager was hurt and distraught from his loss, how Bakura had pushed him away, how Ryou had hurt him so much...

_Fuck!_ Bakura growled aloud, shutting his eyes. It seemed so unfair. _All I want is one night. One fucking night to forget. Why am I even denied that?_

"Um... Oh crap, what was it? I'll have a martini, a vodka-and-coke, and a strawberry margarita." Bakura froze, his head snapping up. "Oh. And a champagne for me."

"Shit no." Bakura's mouth dropped open, and he slid off his barstool, struggling to peer through the crowd and searching for the source of the voice. He hurriedly pushed past people as he walked, not caring about who it was. That was, until he pushed at someone clutching three glasses of some alcoholic concoction. They fell to the floor, shattering.

"What the fuck!" Bakura froze, and spun around, his eyes widening at the man who loomed over him, looking murderous. "You fucking knocked my drinks!"

"So?" Bakura rolled his eyes, and turned around. "Don't have to go crying about it." He made to walk away, when a big beefy hand clapped on his bony shoulder.

"You wanna say that to my face, bitch?" The man snarled, now gripping both of Bakura's shoulders. The yami only raised an eyebrow, staring at the ham-fisted hands on his shoulders.

"Let me go." Bakura spat. "Don't fucking touch me." The man leered down at him, his fingers clamping down on the tendons and muscle. "I'm warning you-"

"What's a little pipsqueak like you gonna do?" The mans' bitter, alcoholic breath washed over Bakura, who made a face. Bakura was still for a moment, before easily kicking the man square in the stomach. A tight ring of people had formed around the pair, eyes wide, while the barman began to dash around the bar, screaming profanities. His eyes widened as he doubled over, winded, releasing his hold on the yami. Bakura grasped the mans beefy shoulders, and despite his heavy weight, managed to flip the man into his back, who tumbled to the floor with a groan.

"That." Bakura panted, brushing at his sweating brow. He chuckled at the frightened gasp far to his left, shaking his head slightly.

"Bakura."

"Sanami." Bakura arched an eyebrow, stepping over the groaning man and returning to his bar seat. "Fancy seeing you here."

"What are you doing here?" Sanami gasped. "Why aren't you in hospital?" Bakura snorted.

"Like you care." He absorbed himself in his beer again, the humorous tone in his voice gone. Sanami's shoulders slumped.

"I do." She said softly. "I do Bakura-"

"Bullshit!" Bakura spun around on the barstool, standing up. "Don't fucking lie, Sanami! I know you don't!"

"Bakura-"

"Just stop it!" Bakura raged. "I know you don't care about me! The only think you're worried about is how I've tarnished your 'oh so perfect' reputation!" Sanami's eyes widened. "You only want to settle your own guilty conscience because I was the failure. I was your one fucking failure and you can't stand it!"

"No." Sanami shook her head. "Bakura, that's not true-"

"Yes it is!" Bakura glared. "I know it is, Sanami! Don't fucking lie to me! I've had enough of your lies! I've had enough of everyone's fucking lies." Sanami's shoulders slumped in a long sigh.

"Bakura, that's not what it's like!" Sanami retorted, narrowing her eyes.

"Then why the fuck did you give up on me?"

"Because you forced me to!" Tears pushed at her eyes. "Damnit Bakura, I tried to help so much. I did everything I could, but you just pushed me away. You never wanted my help." She crossed her arms, pressing her lips together. "But look at you... You're destroying yourself."

"So?" Bakura took a swig of his beer. "Life sucks anyway. Can't wait for the bitch to be over." Green eyes widened.

"Bakura, you can't mean that." She breathed. "You don't..."

"What do I have?" Bakura muttered. "An empty house? No family, no friends..." Bakura swallowed. "No Ryou..."

"You miss him." Sanami said gently. Bakura shrugged.

"Maybe." Bakura muttered. "Maybe I miss him like hell and spend every waking moment thinking about him and lamenting about what we've lost." He set his jaw in a scowl. "OR maybe I know he's a cheating bitch and he's not worth remembering."

"I think it's both." Sanami said gently, after a long moment pause. "You're scared to admit to yourself how you feel, aren't you?"

"Go to hell." Bakura muttered. "You don't know a fucking thing."

"You're name is Bakura, you're twenty-two years old, you were born in Egypt, your parents died when you were six, your favourite colour is black, your preferred music genre is heavy metal, your favourite cartoon is Happy Tree Friends, your favourite pastime is stealing, you hate small children, you're allergic to penicillin, you're a size seven shoe..." Sanami drew in a deep breath. "Do I have to go on?"

"Facts." Bakura muttered. "Meaningless facts. You don't know about what goes on inside here." He tapped his forehead.

"What?" Sanami sighed. "You have severe psychosis you refuse to take medication for, you still have nightmares about your parents that reduce you to tears, you're as stubborn as hell, you have severe masochistic tendencies whenever you hurt emotionally, you have complete disregard for anyone's feelings, you won't ever admit your emotions to anyone, you fly off the handle whenever anyone gets up your nose at all, you-"

"Okay." Bakura snarled, cutting the woman off. "I get the point. You think you have me all sorted out. Keep deluding yourself." Sanami rubbed at her forehead, and sank into the leather barstool beside the yami.

"I don't think." She said softly. "I know." Bakura only rolled his eyes, looking away. "Bakura, I do. Do you think I haven't worried about you constantly? Because I have. You're so messed up. I just want you to get better. Get back to your old cocky self, where you were happy."

"Good luck." Bakura muttered into his beer. Sanami sighed deeply, raising her eyes heavenward.

"I know this is far-fetched..." She tried to ask the question as delicately as she could. "But have you ever thought about committing yourself to a psych war-"

"No."

"Okay." Sanami pressed her palms on the bar. "Thought I would ask." Bakura snorted. "What?"

"See, Sanami." Bakura drained the last of his beer. "If you knew me at _all_, you wouldn't have asked that." Sanami watched silently as the yami jumped off the stool, and onto the floor. "Night-"

"_There_ you are, you bitch." Bakura froze at the tone, slowly daring to turn around. The beefy man he had just decked stood a couple of feet away from him, seething. "I've been looking for you."

"Oh, what's wrong?" Bakura smiled as sweetly as he could. "Do you want me to kick your ass again?" The man growled, and leaped at Bakura who stepped back, but not quick enough to dodge the cruel grasp on his upper arms. The yami's eyes widened, and Sanami watched, aghast, as Bakura was roughly slammed against the wall. Bakura froze, biting back a scream and clenching his eyes shut as the back of his head came into sharp contact with the wall. He was stock still, his heart thudding in his chest like a drum. Bakura didn't notice as the angry man was roughly dragged away, swearing and struggling. He was frozen for another moment, before slowly, shakily raising a hand to the back of his head.

It was wet.

Bakura's eyes widened, and he lowered his hand, again, staring at the blood on his fingers. _Shit shit shit shit shit shit!_ Sanami gasped, instantly yanking Bakura away from the wall, lifting up his hair to see the extent of the blood. Bakura was totally unmoving, his heart sinking awfully as his head started to throb.

"What the fuck?" Bakura ignored the drunken voice, his hand shaking as he stared at the floor. _This is __**not**__ good._

"Bakura." Sanami breathed. "When on earth did you go in for _brain_ surgery?"

"'Bout two weeks ago." Bakura muttered, his voice sounding flat, and monotonous. "They found a blood clot or something... I dunno."

"Christ." Sanami looked sick as she slowly ran her fingers over the small patch shaven hair, shuddering at the slightly sunken square area where Bakura inevitably placed enough pressure on his skill to push in the skull a little. "Okay..." She sighed. "I think you just busted a couple of stitches." Bakura's mouth fell open, his heart sinking like a stone.

"No." He gasped. "Sanami it hurts..."

"I think you'll be okay." Sanami swallowed, chewing on her lower lip in worry. "But we'll have to take you to the hospital-"

"No!" The male gasped, jerking away from Sanami. "No hospital. No doctors. No. I'm not going anywhere near there! You wont fucking do that to me!" His chest was heaving as he glared at Sanami, clenching his hands into fists.

"Okay." Sanami finally muttered, looking away. "But Bakura... You can't feel it, but you've dislodged the part of your skull they replaced... Ugh it feels gross."

"Is it okay?" Bakura's hand flew to the back of his head, and he stared wide-eyed at the woman. "Huh?"

"I don't know." Sanami muttered. "I'm not a doctor- I mean, I am, but not for the cranium..."

"So a psychiatrist isn't a head doctor?" Bakura demanded, his hand on his head shaking. "Huh?"

"Bakura." Sanami muttered, her patience being tried. "It's not that. I know how a brain works- I have to- but I don't know if you're brain damaged or not and how your skull is. You need scans for that-"

"No!" Bakura shouted angrily. "What part of no scans and no doctors and no operations do you not understand?" The woman sighed, before grabbing at the sleeve of Bakura's jacket.

"Fine." She muttered shortly. "But come with me into the bathroom. I'll try wash the blood off." His head pounding, Bakura complied.

* * *

"You okay?"

"Can't concentrate." Ryou muttered, letting out a long sigh, throwing his pencil onto his open text book. Yugi bit his lip as he stared at his friend, who was stretched out across the bed, struggling to do his homework.

"You need to have that essay done, Bakura." Yugi reminded the teen. "You have to hand it in tomorrow or you fail, and the teachers given you late time as it is-"

"I _know_ Yugi!" Ryou snapped. "You don't have to bloody remind me, you know?" The shorter teens' eyes widened, and he took a step back quickly. Ryou swallowed, rubbing at his eyes. "I'm sorry." He murmured softly as he sat up. "I-I didn't mean to get angry..."

"You're stressed." Yugi said in understanding. "It's okay. Who wouldn't be in your position?"

"I-It's not just him that stressing me." Ryou whispered, tears threatening to spill in his eyes. "It's school... I've missed so much, Yugi. I have reports and essays and labs and quizzes and tests to all catch up on and there's just so many..." He held his hands over his mouth, trying so hard not to cry. "I don't know what I'm going to do..."

"But you're smart." Yugi tried to console the teen, taking a seat on the bed. "You'll be fine Bakura." Ryou shook his head, tears trickling down his cheeks.

"I'm not that smart, Yugi." He whispered. "In everything right now, they're always talking about what I don't understand. I try to keep up but it's all going faster and faster like going on a train and I can't slow down I just want it all to slow down Yugi, but it's not, it's not it's not." Ryou buried his face in his hands as he sobbed, his shoulders shaking.

"Hey..." Yugi placed a hand gently on the whitenette's shoulder, shaking. "It's okay, Bakura. They've given you a lot of slack recently..."

"It can't go on for much longer." Ryou sniffed, trembling. "Soon, th-they're going to do something, I-I know..." Yugi's shoulders slumped in pity. "I would expel me..."

"They're not going to expel you." Yugi said firmly. "They have no right to do that, Bakura."

"But I'm hopeless!" Ryou wailed. "Look at me! I'm just totally hopeless. I-I can't do anything right. My father's cut me off, I've lost my house, I have no job at all, I cheated on my fiancée... Face it, Yugi. I'm a total loser." Yugi stared at the shaking teenager in pity.

"I don't think you're a loser." Yugi whispered softly. "I think you're really strong and I'm amazed you got through this all intact. Don't worry, Bakura. School will get a lot better. From the sounds of things, your father sounds like a bit of a jerk anyway, and with looks like yours, do you think a job and a relationship will really be that hard in the long run?" Ryou shrugged pathetically. "I think you're just being silly, Bakura. I know you're scared and you feel alone, but you don't have to. You've got friends around you. You've got Yami and I and Jou and Honda and Anzu." Ryou smiled weakly.

"That means a lot to me." Ryou whispered softly. "I-It really does. I-I get scared alot, Yugi. I get scared about being alone all the time. I know it sounds silly, but..."

"I don't think it's silly." Yugi said gently. "I think it's sensible. You've been through a _lot_, Bakura. And to have your health and your sanity... I think that's really great. You should be proud."

"You think?" Ryou looked up at Yugi with big brown eyes whining slightly. The shorter teenager smiled and nodded.

"Of course. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."

* * *

"That looks like the most of it." Bakura stared down at the basin, which he gripped hard with his bony fingers. "You okay now?"

"No." The yami muttered, straightening up and staring at himself in the mirror, inwardly flinching at the tired face that stared back at him. "How the hell _can_ I be okay?"

"Bakura..." Sanami ran a hand through her hair, throwing the wet paper towel away. "Please... Don't be like this."

"Like what?" He snorted. "_Fuck_, Sanami, my life's a total mess!" Bakura angrily turned away, marching out of the bathroom. The woman followed with a long sigh, pushing her way through the crowd behind Bakura, until they were outside, underneath the velvety night sky.

"I know it is." Sanami said gently, staring at the tall bony figure, his arms crossed, looking away. "I only want to make it better. It's what I do."

"But you can't." Bakura's tone was no longer angry. It was soft and... defeated. "But it's not that easy."

"It's not." Sanami agreed, staring as Bakura heavily sat on a sidewalk bench. "I'll agree with you, Bakura. It's hard. It's hard to try and change your whole outlook on life in the space of a few months. It's almost unheard of. But Bakura, you have to understand that you _have _to. This downward spiral you're in... It's awful. And it just breaks my heart to see what hate and negligence has turned you into. I want the old Bakura back. The fiery sarcastic one. Is that really too much to ask for?"

"Of course it is." The yami rolled his eyes, before arching his neck, staring up at the sky. "Like you said, in order to forgive Ryou, in order to love him and be in a relationship with him, I would have to turn my whole life around. And... I can't."

"Is Ryou worth it?" Sanami asked the question softly, biting her lip as she sat down on the bench, pulling down her short black skirt to hide her bare legs. "Is loving Ryou, having what you had with him... Would you say that changing your entire personality worth it?" Bakura was frozen for a long moment, tears actually welling in his eyes.

"Yes." He whispered, and his voice broke. He looked away, his shoulders shaking with the urge to cry. "I-I want it back... You have no fucking idea how much I want it all back. I just want to be _with_ Ryou again." Sanami swallowed nervously, and scooted slowly across the bench a few inches. Bakura was still as the woman gently placed a hand on his bony shoulder, closing his eyes.

"Why are you still so angry with him?" Sanami inquired softly, staring into hardened brown eyes. Bakura blinked, and looked down, the saline liquid trickling down his cheeks.

"He cheated on me." Bakura muttered dully. "He slept with Malik while I was in a coma... My best friend and my fiancée, Sanami. How the fuck can I let that slide!" He glared at her, his hands shaking in his rage.

"You raped Ryou." Sanami said simply. "You abused him awfully. You dehumanized him and turned him into a total slave. You hurt Ryou, because you weren't in control of your emotions, and he forgave you because he loved you and wanted a relationship with you."

"What's your point." Bakura muttered dully, a fresh surge of guilt rushing through his chest. Sanami sighed.

"Ryou hurt you, because he wasn't in control of his emotions. You love him, and you want a relationship with him. What's the missing link in the chain, Bakura?" The white-haired man held his hands over his mouth, his limbs trembling.

"Me forgiving him." His voice was muffled and he was crying silently. "I can't Sanami. I can't bring myself to do that." The woman let out a long, exasperated sigh.

"It's just three words." The woman whispered. "I know it's hard, but you would be happy for the rest of your life. You've found your soulmate Bakura, and you're only really a kid. Do you know lucky you are? If you give it too long, you'll drift too far apart and it could be years before you and Ryou meet and fall in love again."

"You believe in soulmates?" Bakura snorted. "I thought you had more sense than that." Sanami closed her eyes for a short moment.

"Maybe I do." She shrugged. "There's a perfect person for everyone out there, Bakura. It's hard to believe maybe, but it's true."

"So?" Bakura rolled his eyes. "Is your husband your soulmate?" The woman frowned. "Huh?"

"What do you mean?" Her heart sank a little. "I married him, didn't I?"

"Do you love him," Bakura challenged. "Or did you just shack up with him because you know your times running out and you badly want kids?"

"O-Of course I love him." Sanami stammered. Bakura smirked.

"But is he your soulmate?" His grin widened. "Did you feel that immediate connection with him? Or was he just someone who caught your eye and you gradually fell in love with?"

"I-I don't have to answer that!" Sanami spluttered, going red. "Stop it, Bakura-"

"So he's not." Bakura's grin widened, and the sadistic streak in him glowed. "You have the _nerve _to tell me that Ryou's _my_ soulmate and I should hook up with him, despite the fact he's the only boyfriend I've ever had, but you yourself have chosen your husband purely because you'll get good-looking kids from him!" Bakura was murderous. "You fucking _hypocrite!"_

"Bakura_ stop_ it!" Sanami shouted, her anger getting the better of her. "I don't have to put up with this from you!" The yami's face contorted in anger as he snarled down at the woman, standing up.

"It's the fucking _truth!_" Bakura shouted. "It's the truth and you know it! I don't give a _shit_ if you can't handle it!" Sanami was sitting perfectly still on the bench, trembling. "You think you're _so_ great Sanami. But you're not. You're fucking nothing! Nothing just like the rest of us! You think that a piece of paper calling you a therapist puts you above the common herd? It doesn't! It fucking doesn't! You're nothing special! You're just a lonely woman with a truckload of broken dreams. A high salary and a nice apartment doesn't change a fucking thing! You-"

"_Shut the fuck up!"_ Bakura's eyes widened, and he took a step back as Sanami stood up, sobbing. "_Stop_ it Bakura!" She wiped hurriedly at her eyes, trying to regain her composure. "You don't know anything about me."

"Bullshit." Bakura snarled. "You used to say all kinds of things back then to get me to talk. If you can play that game, then so can I. You're thirty-seven, your father died of cancer six years ago and your mothers alive, you were born in Tokyo, your favourite colour is blue. _You_ like alternative indie shit, and your hobby is reading those weird horror books... Need I go on?" He mocked her, resting his hands on his hips.

"Why do you do this?" She breathed, holding a hand over her mouth. "Do you think it's _fun_?"

"Do I think what's fun?" Bakura narrowed his eyes at the woman, thinking.

"Destroying people." She said simply. "Finding their worst fears, ripping them out, and rubbing salt in the wound?"

"What?" Bakura rolled his eyes. "My little spiel about you being nothing? That's not me destroying you. That's not even trying. Destroying you would be..."

"What you did to Ryou?" Sanami whispered tearfully. Bakura froze.

"Maybe." He muttered, turning away.

"You told me what you did to him." Tears still trickled down the woman's face. "You almost seemed _proud. _You can't take pride in treating someone like that."

"_I_ do." Bakura muttered smugly, crossing his arms. Sanami lowered her eyes to the pavement, biting her lip.

"I know you do." She murmured. "And I know why you do it, too. But that doesn't justify anything." Bakura's eyebrows knitted together in a frown.

"Why do I do it then?" He challenged, smirking slightly. "Huh? Give me your thesis." Sanami sniffed, and drew in a deep breath, raising her eyes to Bakura's face.

"Your parents had a big part of it." She muttered. Bakura froze. "Your father especially."

"What did _he _have to do with it?" Bakura snarled. Sanami sighed.

"Because he abused you, didn't he? Not badly, but he still didn't treat you right. He didn't like how you were turning out, despite your age, so he often verbally bullied you."

"What?" Bakura snorted. "Where the _fuck_ did you get that?"

"Look me in the eye and say it's not true." Sanami challenged, regaining some confidence. "Come on then. Do it."

"Whatever." Bakura muttered, looking away, backing down. "Doesn't mean shit anyway." Sanami hid a tiny smile of triumph. She was right.

"And once they died, you didn't know what to do with yourself. You were forced to be along and all of the hate and psychological damage you harboured just... twisted you. It turned you evil." Bakura didn't say anything as he looked away, but his smouldering expression spoke volumes. "That, and you're just a sadist." Bakura chuckled, under his breath, before lapsing into another bout of silence. "You would have been so fascinating to study as a child..." She murmured, without really thinking. Bakura froze, and his head snapped up.

"Fuck you." He snarled, clenching his hands into fists. Sanami froze, her eyes widening.

"E-Excuse me?" She stammered, subconsciously taking a step back.

"I _said_." Bakura raised his voice. "_Fuck you!_" He took a large step towards the woman, and another, until their noses were inches apart.

"Bakura-"

"That's all you fucking care about!" He raged. "Having another headcase to fucking study! Isn't it? Oh, I _bet_ it would have been fascinating! You know what else would have been fascinating?" The effect of the alcohol, coupled with his throbbing headache and rage spelled big trouble for whoever was in the receiving end.

"Bakura-"

"Me beating the crap out of you! That's what would have been fucking interesting! And that's what I would have fucking done! Even if I was only six, I would have fucking _killed_ anyone who poked at raw gaping wound! You're lucky I've let you get away with so much, Sanami! You're fucking lucky!"

"Bakura-"

"Did I say you could fucking talk?" Bakura grabbed at Sanami arms, roughly pushing her against the wall. The woman gasped, staring wide-eyed at the yami. "Listen to me!"

"I am!" Sanami cried out tearfully, her chest heaving with ragged gasps. "Bakura, wh-what are you doing?" The males hands shook on Sanami's arms, and his expression was unreadable. "Hurting me wont solve anything..."

"How do you know?" Bakura chuckled, madness in his eyes as he leaned in even closer, staring into wide shocked orbs.

"Bakura!" Sanami protested, her heart thudding. "L-Let me go! P-Please... D-Don't do this..." Bakura only snorted, and stepped back again. Rolling his eyes, he turned away from the woman.

"I wouldn't hurt you." He muttered, staring up at the black night sky. Sanami relaxed a little, leaning against the brick wall.

"Wh-Why not?" She breathed, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Bakura sighed, and shrugged.

"Dunno." He examined his fingernails. "Maybe because you're one of about three people in the world who actually give a shit about me. Maybe because you've at least tried to help." He smirked. "Maybe the worlds just more interesting with you in it." Sanami bit her lip, lowering her gaze to the ground. "Just stop trying to help." His tone changed as he took a step from the scene. "It's hurting both of us." Sanami stared, her lower lip trembling as the yami started to walk away, almost blending into the night with his black clothes, save for his hair, which shone like a beacon. Soon, that too disappeared, and the psychiatrist was alone, the street empty but for passers-by. Leaning against the wall, she slowly slid down to the ground, wincing as she sat in a puddle, and pressed her lips together, trying so hard not to cry.

* * *

Yay! Character developement! Partly!

Ehehehehe... When I said there were only going to be a couple of chapters left, I should have mentioned I'd decided on doing a part three...

n,n;;

R&R! (And I stress the review part... -.- Please? Hahahahhahahahha I know it sounds childish and sad BUT I DONT CARE!)


	24. Chapter 24

Heyyy!!

It's a long chapter!

Where things really happen!

Enjoy!

Disclaimer! I own nothing!

* * *

Ryou jumped as the phone rang. He was curled up on the couch, with his English book that he wasn't really reading, a cup of hot cocoa on the coffee table and a blanket around his shoulders. The book tumbled onto the floor, and he stared at the ringing box for a few moments, before recognition struck, and he realised that he should pick it up, and lift it to his ear.

"H-Hello?" He stammered, still slightly surprised. He relaxed into the couch slightly, chewing on his lower lip.

"Um... Hi." Ryou froze at the soft, but oh so familiar voice reverberated from the other end. His heart leaped in his chest, and then sank like a rock a moment later.

"... Malik?" He finally whispered, his hands starting to shake. It had seemed so long... The teenager pressed his lips together, raising his gaze to the ceiling.

"Um, yeah. How are you?" Ryou blinked at the seemingly innocent question, before his heart swelled in anger. _How dare he... After everything he's done, how__** dare**__ he pretend to be so normal!_

"Why the heck are you calling me? I don't want to talk to you!" Ryou's voice shook at the words, and tears of hurt and anger began to well up in his eyes. Malik let out a long sigh, on the other end, and he sounded... Sad, at the next words.

"I know you're upset about Bakura-"

"Darn right I'm upset!" Ryou burst into tears, his anger getting the better of him. " I've lost him forever and it's all your fault! You broke us up!" Malik audibly bristled on the other end, Ryou's sobs failing to draw any sizeable sympathy from him."_I_ broke you up? It takes two people to cheat, Ryou!" He growled down the other end. Ryou blinked, shaking his head, despite the fact that Malik couldn't see him. Oh, that was just _too_ unfair, to go blaming Ryou for his mistakes!

"You pushed me into it!" The whitenette protested, gripping the receiver like a lifeline as the tears trickled down his cheeks.

"You wanted it!" Malik retorted, and Ryou could hear the aggravation in his voice. Ryou gasped, his brow creasing.

"_I didn't!_" He moaned weakly, sobbing harder. "I was trying to push you off, Malik!"

"Ryou, calm down." Malik let out a long breath, trying his hardest to compose himself, taking long, deep breaths. Ryou let out a long moan, sobbing louder.

"I _can't_ calm down! You wrecked everything!" He protested, feeling sick as the old hurt raged back onto him. "How can you tell me that? How _dare_ you say that to me after you caused all this hurt?"

"Hey! Do you really think you could have kept that secret?" Malik's teeth were gritted, and it showed in his voice. "Don't be ridiculous!"

"I would have tried..." Ryou whispered, closing his eyes and curling tighter into himself. Malik only gave a derisive snort.

"You would have been living a lie. You would have been sick with yourself. You know that, Ryou. It had to be out in the open from the beginning." His voice gradually grew softer, more diplomatic, until it sounded... consoling. Or at least, a good attempt to sound consoling. Ryou gave a muffled cry.

"But... I've lost Bakura now. I-I've lost him, a-and it's all your fault!" Ryou shouted the last words, his bony frame shaking.

"Ryou, stop blaming me!" Malik groaned in exasperation. "It's not fair, and it's not my fault!"

"But it is!" Ryou protested. "I'm alone now because of you!" Malik let out a long groan, deciding to change tack and let the subject rest.

"Well... You don't have to be alone Ryou..." He muttered, actually going red on the other end of the phone. Ryou blinked in suspicion.

"What do you mean?" He inquired, his tone... suspicious. Malik sighed deeply.

"I think you know." He murmured, hoping that he wasn't suggesting this all too early.

"I-I don't..." Ryou was confused now, staring at his knees. _What on earth does he mean..._

"Well... I'm always here. If you wanna consider it..." Malik finally tumbled in a rush, averting his eyes to his knees, although Ryou couldn't see him. Ryou blinked, and his mouth hug open for a long moment, before a fresh surge of anger shot through his chest.

"What on earth is _wrong_ with you?!" He gasped, shocked. "Why would I want to be with you after what you did?" Malik was taken aback, and was silent for a long time before he whispered the next words, which were in a considerably more gentle tone.

"Would you rather be alone?" The question struck Ryou like a hammer, and he was silent for a long time, staring at his knees as it all whirled through his head. _Would I? Would I really? _"Ryou?" The whitenette licked his lips, swallowing deeply.

"Y-You're so far away, though." He finally breathed, his voice trembling again. Malik was very silent on the other end, his hand on the receiver trembling.

"Wait." He gasped. "Are you..." Ryou sniffed, biting hard on his lower lip, so blood almost drew.

"I'm so scared, Malik." He finally whispered, fresh tears pooling in his eyes. "Being so alone like this... I-I get so afraid. I feel like I'm the only person in the world, but at the same time, it's so tight that I-I feel like I'm suffocating." Malik let out a long sigh, disappointment flooding his insides.

"Ryou, it's okay." Malik struggled to keep his voice even. "It'll be okay. I can come back. I'll get us a nice little place somewhere or something and do the best I can." _Is that too much too soon? Oh crap_.

"I-I just need something Malik..." Ryou sobbed weakly. "Something for sanity. _Anything._" The disappointment in the pit of Malik's stomach gave way to anger.

"You... Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Ryou winced at the angered tone in Malik's voice, not really understanding the underlying message that the Egyptian was saying.

"What's that?" He inquired, in that soft, accented voice that still managed to make Malik's insides go all gooey.

"That you're only settling." He snarled, his hand on the phone clenching into a fist. "That's it, isn't it Ryou? You just want anyone who's willing to take you." Ryou sniffed, shaking his head weakly.

"No." He breathed, pleading with Malik. "That's not true. I-It came out wrong Malik, you and Bakura are the only ones for me, you know that."

"Ones." Malik muttered, seemingly defeated. "Tell me Ryou, if it was a choice between me and Bakura, who would you take? Really, who would you take?" Ryou sniffed, suppressing more tears.

"I... I..." He tried so hard to form the words, but failed. Malik growled on the other end.

"I know the answer." Malik finally muttered. He was just so angry, so frustrated at Ryou and his refusal to accept his love, that he slammed the phone down on it's cradle. Ryou froze, sitting on the couch open mouth with the phone in his hand, the dial tone ringing in his ears.

"Malik..." He whispered brokenly, his hand dropping down to his lap. He pressed the off button on the phone, and let it tumble to the floor as he curled up into a tight ball, wrapping his arms around his legs. The closed in, suffocating feeling flared up again, tightening its' hold on Ryou. The sobs increased, and Ryou buried his face in his hands, overcome with misery. Malik had tried to take Ryou back, and like a fool, Ryou had messed it up again! How _typical_ was that? The teenager felt disgusted with himself, burying his eyes as hard as he could into his kneecaps, shaking violently. He'd remained in that position for what felt like hours, sobbing weakly, sick with disappointment and misery.

* * *

"Ack! Dont put that thing near me!"

"Calm down, Anzu, it's just a bit of duck-"

"That's exactly it! Duck! Who the hell eats duck?"

"Well, I-" Yugi fell silent as he stood in the doorway to the living room, heaving a long sigh. Ryou was still curled up on the couch cushions, crying. "Oh..."

"O-Oh." Ryou sniffed, and straightened his back, wiping at his eyes. "I-I'm sorry about this, guys." He wiped at his nose with his sleeve, trying to compose himself. At that point, Anzu and Jounouchi were staring over Yugi's shoulder, their arms laden with paper bags, brows furrowed in concern.

"What's wrong?" Yugi pushed the paper bag on Jounouchi, who accepted it, blinking. He quietly perched down on the edge of the coffee table, folding his hands in his lap. "What happened?"

"I-It's nothing." Ryou murmured weakly, his breathing still shallow. "M-Malik called me about a-an hour ago... W-We started talking, and then he just started yelling and saying these awful things..." Ryou pressed his lips together, trying so hard to suppress his flood of tears.

"Oh Bakura..." Yugi said softly. "I'm sure he's probably just angry..."

"But it was true!" Ryou almost wailed, hyperventilating. "Everything he said to me was true, Yugi! He's totally right about me! I'm so scared and needy that I'm willing to accept anyone that'll take me." He dew in a long, deep breath. "M-Malik was willing to come back, Yugi." He breathed. "He said he was going to leave his family and get us an apartment somewhere and everything..."

"Did you say yes?" Yugi frowned, still confused. "Why are you so upset? What did he say?"

"I didn't get a chance to." Ryou whispered. "I said that I just wanted anything, and he took it the wrong way. He wanted to know if I would choose him over Bakura... Why did he even ask that, Yugi? He knows that I would choose Bakura... I thought he was okay with that and he flew off the handle and yelled that I wanted anyone who was willing to take me..." He rested his forehead on his hands, groaning softly. "I just had to screw it up. I-I had a really good opportunity right in front of me, Yugi! And I totally messed it up." He let out a choked sob. "I just messed it up."

"No, you didn't." Yugi said gently, trying his hardest to console his friend. "You know Malik, you know him much better than me. And even I know he has a tendency to fly off the handle at times. He has issues with his anger. We definitely found that out the hard way." Ryou gave a tiny, forced, weak smile, his head still bowed. Yugi pressed his lips together as he surveyed the teenager, shaking his head slightly. "You're not going to cheer up, are you."

"You think?" Ryou sniffed, rubbing at his nose. "It's _kind_ of upsetting, Yugi, to know that your last chance at some happiness doesn't want you." He straightened his back, resting his clasped hands against his mouth. It looked as though he was praying. Maybe he was.

"Did you sleep last night?" Yugi asked, twiddling his thumbs together. "I know you were up before dawn..."

"No." Ryou let out a long, mournful sigh, closing his eyes. "I can't anymore, Yugi. Whenever I think about the both of them, I just can't sleep. It's all I see when I close my eyes." Yugi let out a long, long sigh, staring at the floor. "Sorry for depressing you."

"What?" Yugi frowned. "Bakura, you're-"

"Look, you've got your friends around." Ryou wiped at his eyes roughly, and, with a long, groaning sigh, stood up. His legs trembled slightly, but he managed to stand up straight. "I'm just gonna get everyone down if I stay."

"Bakura-"

"I wanna go for a walk." Ryou murmured abruptly, turning his back from Yugi. It was a warm mid-afternoon, so Ryou had no need for a jacket. "I won't be too long... I... I just need to think." Yugi stood up also, following his friend.

"I don't want you to think that we're shutting you out." Yugi said softly, biting his lip. "I don't mean to, Bakura. And I don't want to." Ryou's hand was on the doorway as he turned back to Yugi, flashing a small, sad smile.

"I know." His tone was gentle, sad... And defeated. "I just wanna clear my head." Yugi bit his lip deeply, but nodded, clenching his hands into fists. Ryou slowly passed the group of friends in the kitchen, keeping his head down, and to the front door, sliding his feet into his sneakers and walking out the door.

The sun hit his face almost instantly, and he closed his eyes, smiling softly. There was a light breeze in the air, soft and refreshing. Ryou crossed his arms as he slowly started to walk, keeping his eyes trained on the pavement, his shoulders slumped. His mind was whirling as he walked, so many thoughts going around and around in his head. It was so _depressing_, to think that Malik had rejected him as well. He still loved Ryou, sure, but the whitenette had grievously hurt his pride. Ryou knew the Egyptian would never go out with someone who only settled for second-best. It was top dog, or nothing. _Maybe he'll slowly come to release that I do love him a lot. He's such a close friend of mine, and he knows how much I care about him. He knows that I would be happy with him. In some aspects... He was nicer to me than Bakura was. He never yelled at me. He never expected me to do anything, like Bakura. Bakura wanted his three meals and the house clean and all that. When Malik stayed with me, he never asked that, not once. If I didn't feel up to it, he would just do it himself. Bakura loved me, but it was a different kind of love. We just knew so much about each other, and it all ran so deep... I think the fact that we shared a body helped a heck of a lot. We were closer than anyone ever will be. With Malik, the love was so different... It's so hard to explain, even to myself. I don't think I even understand it myself._

Ryou blinked, looking up. He'd been so caught up in his thoughts, that he never really paid attention to where his feet were leading him. But here he was, at the park. He shrugged, and closed his eyes momentarily, crossing the road and heading under the thick canopy of leaves. He stretched his hands out, bony fingertips brushing the wrinkled brown trunk. It was cooler underneath the trees, the breeze ruffling Ryou's long white hair. Ryou yawned, exhausted. _Oh gosh, I'm so exhausted... _He held a hand over his mouth as he yawned again, harder, heading deeper into the park. It was silent, and Ryou was now in the heart of the large park. It was so peaceful and serene...

Ryou yawned, deeper than ever before, as he leaned against a trunk of a particularly large tree. It was just so tiring... _Maybe I should have a little lie down. Just to rest my eyes for a bit. I'll feel a lot better, I know._ The back of his shirt was hiked up as the teenager slid down the trunk, the rough back scraping at his back. He winced slightly, and rubbed at his eyes, before lying down in the long soft grass, closing his eyes. He stretched as he yawned, enjoying the grass underneath him, as springy as a mattress, as it seemed. Ryou moaned gently to himself, his head lolling to one side. It was so nice, just lying there with the light breeze across his face. It felt a little like summer. Because Ryou was so exhausted, and spent, and ultimately, so _comfortable_, it was inevitable that he would fall asleep. And fall asleep he did. Not just a light doze, a deep, deep slumber. He was curled on his side in his grass, his stomach exposed by his shirt, jeans rumpled and hair all over his face. It was a deep, dreamless sleep, where Ryou's aches and stress and exhausted just drained away into the earth.

It was lovely.

* * *

"Fuck, not again!" Bakura growled, slamming the fridge door closed. "I just got grub last week!" He leaned against the kitchen counter, holding his head in his hands. It wasn't fair. Bakura just wanted a fucking _break_. _Look at me, flying off the handle, because I'm all out groceries. There really is something wrong with me..._

He rubbed at his eyes, before heaving a long sigh. "Oh well. I might as well go now before it gets too dark." The yami pulled open the pantry door, scanning it's contents intently. Yep, out of ramen and rice as well. "Fuck..." The keys jangled as Bakura snatched them off the tiled counter, grabbing at his jacket which was dangled over the back of a dining chair. Bakura slammed the door behind himself with a loud bang, shrugging his worn leather jacket over his shoulders. His boots clacked against the sidewalk as he walked to his car, which was just parked on the side of his road. He sighed heavily as he leaned into the black leather interior, closing his eyes for a moment. He smirked as the he revved the car, pressing his foot against the accelerator, before putting the car into gear and driving off with a screech of the tires. It happened all the time- When Bakura was pissed, he drove like a maniac. He turned the corner with a squeal of the tires, biting his lip gently. Bakura kept his eyes fixed intently on the road as he drove through the endless streets of white picket fences and white clapboard houses. The suburbs made him sick. _I have to get the fuck out of here... It's driving me nuts. I wanna go back into the city, at least_.

He was about half a mile from his chosen store when the car stopped. Bakura swore loudly as the engine cut out, and barely managed to make it inside a roadside parking space before the car was completely stationary. He swore loudly again, before catching a glimpse at the petrol gauge at the front of the car. The needle was dropped down below the red E, and the red light was blinking.

Out of gas.

"Fuck!" Bakura punched the steering wheel with considerable force, biting his lip in pain. "Fuck you!" His voice was louder, and he rested his head against the black wheel with a low moan. _Great. I'll have to walk to the gas station._ Bakura tried his hardest to keep his composure as he stepped out of the car, locking the glossy black door behind him. He leaned against the glass for a short moment, his eyes closed. The sun had set by now, the sky a fiery gold, the ground a slightly faded grey. _I'll cut through the park. But I gotta be quick, it's getting dark and shit_...

Shoving his keys in his jacket pocket, Bakura started to jog.

* * *

"Well _hello_."

Ryou groaned, lifting his head from his folded arms as the strange voice dragged him out of his sleep. He was still curled up on his side, his hair all over his face. It was considerably cooler, Ryou realised, and no more sun...

The teenager froze.

_Why_ was there a hand on his thigh?

Ryou gasped as he jerked up, quivering in blind fear at the sight of two seedy men leering over him. Ryou's heart had seized in his throat, and he pushed himself back as far as he could, before his back hit the rough bark of the tree. A muscled hand grabbed at his shoulder, and he tried to hit it away, but failed.

"HELP!" Ryou screamed at the top of his lungs, sobbing. "SOMEBODY PLEASE!" Ryou struggled as hard as he could, as two pairs of hands seized him, roughly pulling him away from the trunk and pinning him to the grass. He opened his mouth to scream, but a clammy hand was instantly pressed over his lips. Tears ran down his face.

"Shut your mouth." Ryou's insides curled at the voice in his ear, and he whimpered, struggling desperately. He was so _afraid_, of what might –what was _going_ to- happen to him, pinned down to the ground by two men in their mid-thirties in an abandoned park, as twilight was setting in. _No_. Ryou felt sick as thick, sweaty fingers slowly slid under his shirt, sharp nails scraping the soft skin on his stomach. _Not again!_ Ryou bit down on the strangers' hand, as hard as he could, almost drawing blood. The man cursed loudly, and jerked his hand away in reflex, giving Ryou a moment of air.

"HELP!" Ryou managed to scream before he was muffled once more, moaning and resisting weakly. His shirt was torn, the sound of tearing cotton filling the air. Ryou shrank away as the hands returned to his stomach, smearing grease all over his skin. _Help someone please help help me help me help me they cant do this to me they cant they cant they cant!_

Extremely luckily for Ryou, someone _did_ hear.

Bakura was casually jogging through the park as the first scream cut through the cooling air. He froze, his body stiffening. This park was notoriously bad after dark for rapes and murders, hence why he was running. _Someone got caught_.

"..._somebody please!"_ It came from Bakura's far right, almost non-existent. Bakura could just walk away, and no one would be the wiser, but that voice...

It sounded like...

_No_. Bakura shook his head violently. It wasn't. He was just jumping to conclusions. _why would Ryou be out here by himself at this hour? _He reasoned with himself_. He's smarter than that. _Bakura bit his lip. All the same... He ought to do _something_... _Shouldn't I?_

"_Help!"_

It was curiosity more than anything that made Bakura change his direction, and start jogging toward the trees, where he heard the voice. The yami pushed branches and leaves out of his way as he crept through some bushes, trying to keep the element on his side. He cursed under his breath, before pushing the last spindly branch away, staring into the clearing, his arrival silent. Just as he thought, two men were hunched over a figure close to a tree, who was protesting and crying. _Shit, it sounds like Ryou_. It was more of a light comment to himself, as opposed to a conclusion. He didn't think it was.

Until he caught a flash of long white hair.

Bakura held his hands over his mouth, feeling as though he had been punched in the stomach. _Oh god._ It _was_ Ryou._ What the fuck do they think they're doing to him?_ Rage overtook him, and he started marching towards the scene, yanking the ring out from under his shirt as he did so.

"Hey!" Bakura shouted, his hands on his hips as he slowed to a stop. Two pairs of heads lifted, two sets of bleary, unfocused eyes settled on the white-haired yami. _They're drunk_. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Ryou gasped as the hands were removed from his body, and curled into himself as tightly as he could, sobbing. He was lost in his own world, burying his face as deeply into the grass as he was able. The scent of grass filled his nostrils, and he sobbed, violated. Because his face was buried into the ground, he didn't see what Bakura was doing to his attempted rapists, and because he had his arms wrapped tightly over his head, he couldn't hear their screams. Ryou was just so panicked and terrified, that all he could do was lay there, trembling and sobbing and gasping as Bakura destroyed the drunken perverts, senseless in his rage. The teenager's skin crawled. He was sure he could still feel their hands...

"Fuck." Bakura was only slightly drained as he padded over to Ryou, his shoulders slumped. He felt sick as he looked down at the whitenette. Ryou was sobbing weakly, curled into a tight ball, holding his hands over his head. "Hell." He didn't know what to say, so he just stood there, staring at Ryou silently as his head roared, teeming with turbulent emotions. _Ryou... Oh God Ryou. He was gonna be raped._

_And I care. It terrified me._

_I still care._

_I still care._

_No!_ Bakura closed his eyes, shaking his head. _I was scared and upset and angry... Doesn't mean I care_.He ran a hand through his hair, groaning. _It's just that we have all this history. It's tied me to him, whether I like it or not. It doesn't mean I care about him._ He bit down on his lip hard, staring at the teenager. _But I have to do something. I can't leave him here. He'll just be attacked again by someone else passing by. He has to go to the brat's. And he can't make it there himself_. Bakura groaned, sinking slowly to his knees. He kept his gaze locked on Ryou for a long time, before slowly stretching out, resting his fingers on Ryou's shoulder.

Ryou reacted immediately. He jerked away with a soft cry, pushing Bakura's hand away from him, twisting and curling away from the yami. Bakura bit his lip, and tightened his hold on Ryou's shoulder. He rolled Ryou over onto his back, and grabbed the whitenette's other shoulder, his heart sinking a little more as he saw Ryou's jeans, the button and fly undone, pulled roughly below the jut of his hip bones, and his shirt, ripped up the middle until it was completely in two. Bakura's eyes widened at his rib bones and spine, which jutted out from the skin. Ryou screamed, thrashing about as he struggled to push Bakura's hands away.

"Get off me!" He screamed, his eyes not focusing on who it was that was touching him. His fear increased twofold, and he arched his back, flailing his limbs desperately. "Let me go!"

"Ryou!" Bakura protested, taking Ryou's blows unflinchingly. "Ryou, stop it!" The teenager only moaned, battling fiercely. "I mean it!" Bakura gritted his teeth, and yanked at Ryou's shoulders, pulling him up into a sitting position. Ryou slapped his face, sobbing. Bakura gasped, and gritted his teeth, trying his hardest to keep his cool.

"Stop it!" Ryou pleaded, tears blurring his eyes. All he could feel were the strong hands clamping on his shoulders, and the echoes of those touches, all over...

"Ryou!" Bakura grasped the teenagers' chin, forcing Ryou to look him in the eye."Stop it! It's me!" He forced their faces to be closer together, glaring angrily into wide brown eyes. Ryou blinked, the tears in his eyes spilling over, and he was finally able to focus on the face that was so close to his.

_Bakura_.

Ryou froze, absolutely still for a few moments. He was hyperventilating, his lower lip trembling. Bakura stared into his eyes, one hand on the teenager's shoulder, the other on his chin. _I'm touching him_. The thought struck Bakura, and he jerked his hands away, as though he had been burned. Ryou sniffed, holding his breath, pressing his lips together. Ryou buried his face in his hands, crying and crying. The horrible fear of what those two men were going to do to him was as strong as ever, and he didn't know what to do with himself. Bakura just kneeled on the grass, staring at Ryou as he sobbed weakly. _Do something. _He commanded himself, his hands lax at his sides, _Fucking hell, look at him. How can you not do anything!_ He wanted to, so badly, but it just seemed too hard. He couldn't bring himself to comfort Ryou, not even when he needed it most. Ryou's sobs tore through the otherwise silent night, making Bakura feel sick.

It was some strange sort of pity, eventually, that made Bakura slowly raise his hands from his sides. He scooted a little closer to Ryou, until their legs were touching, slowly, with much trepidation, Bakura stretched out his bony hands. Ryou was still crying, his face in his hands, so he didn't know what the yami was doing. When Bakura gently touched his shoulders, the teenager gasped. His first reaction was subliminal, to jerk away, which was what he did. Bakura froze, hurt, before trying again. However, his fingertips barely touched Ryou's bare skin, before the teenager pulled away once more, falling back on his rear.

"Ryou." Bakura tried to keep his tone as calm and as even as possible, lest he get afraid and bolt, which was _not_ what he wanted. "It's me." Ryou sniffed, and slowly lifted his head. His pale, scrawny hands slowly slid down his face, until they were covering his mouth, his entire frame shaking. He stared at Bakura, with his unrevealing expression and his open arms, before emitting a shocked sob, and flinging himself into the yami's middle. Bakura fell back, winded slightly as Ryou buried his face in his chest, grabbing handfuls of his leather jacket. "... The fuck." Bakura stared down at Ryou, who clung as to Bakura as tightly as he could, shaking and sobbing. _I didn't want __**this**__. I was just gonna hold his shoulder and help him up or something. Oh God, I can't deal with Ryou being this close to me!_ Bakura tensed, bowing his head. He placed his hands on Ryou's shoulders, and the teenager cried harder, clinging to him like a limpet. _I can't Ryou, I can't deal with you like this! Fuck!_ He tensed his hands on Ryou's shoulders, and was going to push him off. Ryou was weakly shaking his head, nuzzling Bakura's jacket and scratching himself on the zip. Bakura stayed in that position for a while, while the air slowly grew colder, and the night darkened. Eventually, Bakura's shoulders slumped, and he emitted a long, deep sigh. He closed his eyes as he slowly shifted his hands from Ryou's shoulders, brushing his fingers over the smooth, silky skin, until he was loosely embracing the teen, his heart thudding.

"D-Don't push me away." Ryou finally managed to gasp, almost hyperventilating. "P-Please..." Bakura gritted his teeth, and exhaled deeply, his heart almost breaking at the small, tearful voice. He sounded so dismal and pathetic... He closed his eyes, and bit hard on his lip, to the point of drawing blood.

"Yeah." He whispered, eventually tightening his hold on Ryou. He pressed his palm against the teen's icy skin, trying to warm him. "I wont." Bakura swallowed deeply, and pressed his lips together, blood on his tongue. Ryou whimpered, clinging as closely to Bakura as he could, crying.

"Please don't leave me here." He whimpered pitifully. "Please please please..." Bakura groaned, and rubbed at his forehead.

"I'm not going to leave you here." Bakura muttered in Ryou's ear, The teenager gasping for air. "I'm gonna take you back to Yugi's, 'kay? You'll be fine." Ryou sniffed, and nodded, still crying, his heart racing in fear.

"O-Okay..." The whitenette breathed, resting his head on Bakura's shoulder, exhausted.

* * *

Awwhhh XD Fluff!... Kinda.

R&R!


	25. Chapter 25

-.-

Holy hell.

This is... A REALLY long chapter. I would have split it up, but it's like, all one scene, so -sigh-

Oh well XD

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sadly.

* * *

Night had fallen.

The yami bit his lip, sighing deeply as he stared down at the fluffy, cotton-like head. Ryou was still, but his occasional soft little whimpers and moans indicated he was still awake.

"Ryou." Bakura muttered, drumming his fingers against Ryou's exposed skin, which was as icy as ever. "Come on."

"No." Ryou breathed, terrified. The teenager, still in a state of shock, shook his head weakly, trembling. He didn't want to move, didn't want to break his contact with Bakura. Resting in his arms once more, just sitting there as he was gently being held by his love... He had missed it so _much_.

"Ryou." Bakura muttered again, grimly, lowering his hands from the whitenette's creamy skin. Ryou sniffed.

"No." He wailed plaintively. "Please." The yami growled, his anger getting the better of him, and he grabbed Ryou's shoulders, pushing him away. Ryou looked up at Bakura, with those big, innocent brown eyes Bakura had fallen in love with, that could make his heart melt...

"You're cold." Bakura growled, looking away. "You need to get home." Ryou's lower lip trembled, and he lowered his head, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Don't leave." Ryou whimpered pathetically. Bakura momentarily closed his eyes. He knew all too well that the shock and pure terror that Ryou had endured was still as strong as ever. Bakura groaned, and rubbed at his eyes.

"I'm not going to leave you." Bakura knew that no one else on the planet could console Ryou right then. It was him, and only him. If he didn't at least try to calm Ryou down, the teenager could totally flip out and break down. _Which is __**not**__ what I need._ But then again, Bakura's mere presence was consolation enough. He could be as angry as he wanted, and Ryou would probably still find comfort in it. "Okay?"

"I-I-I..." Ryou stuttered, his voice breaking. Bakura gritted his teeth, momentarily irritated.

"Don't start crying again." Bakura commanded. Although he extremely skilled when it came to handling Ryou, in any situation, he just felt so _clumsy_. "You'll just feel worse."

"O-Okay." Ryou swallowed deeply, gulping, and slightly raised his head. Bakura pressed his lips together grimly as he reached out, slowly wiping at the tear tracks on Ryou's face.

"Good." Bakura muttered, brushing Ryou's hair out of his eyes. "Okay." He pulled back, even further, placing his hands on the teenagers wrists. Ryou's whimpered as he was dragged away from Bakura's jacket, and then released. Bakura's back clicked as he stood up, and the yami winded. Ryou curled into a tight ball, staring up at Bakura imploringly. Bakura locked his gaze with Ryou, his stomach churning and heart thudding in his chest. Eventually, he stretched out his hands, which Ryou gratefully accepted, his slender pale digits shaking. Ryou moaned weakly as he stood up, burying himself in Bakura's chest once more. The yami sighed angrily, and roughly pushed the teen away.

"Don't." He snarled, not looking him in the eye. Ryou sniffed, and looked down as he rubbed at his arms. Bakura bit his lip, looking at the boy, who was clearly freezing. Bakura was silent as he shrugged off his worn leather jacket, before slowly reaching out, and wrapping it around Ryou's shoulders. The teenager accepted the garment gratefully, looking very small, huddled under the jacket.

"Wh-Where are w-we going?" He finally stammered, his chin trembling. Bakura pressed his lips together as he regarded Ryou, his hands on his hips, as he shivered in his black tank shirt. He forced the tiny convulsions down, however, turning on his heel.

"I'll take you to the brat's." He snarled, refusing to use Yugi's name. "And you can go cry on his shoulder." He sighed deeply. _God, he's still such a crybaby._

_What the fuck? He almost got raped. He's allowed to be shaken up._

_But this is ridiculous. It's not like he hasn't been raped before._

_And whose fault was that?_

_That was because he disobeyed me. Those sick freaks I banished were just looking for a quick fuck._

_Either way, it was a show of power. There's really nothing sexual about rape, is there? It's all power and domination._

_Shut up! Goddamn, you're worse than Ryou..._

_Ryou was the one who gave you a conscience in the first place. Deal with it._

_Fuck, I am insane..._

_Yep._

"B-Bakura?" Ryou stammered, watching as Bakura's palms slowly rose to his temples. The yami blinked, and turned away, before letting a snarl form on his features. "What's wrong?"

"_You_ are asking _me_ what's wrong?" Bakura snorted, grabbing Ryou's wrist. The teenager sniffed, holding the jacket around himself with his free hand. "What the fuck do you think is wrong?" Ryou cried out softly as Bakura yanked hard on his wrist, forcing him to look him in the eye.

"I-I..." Ryou licked his lips nervously. "I think you're scared and angry. I think you're confused right now, and you don't know what to do-"

"_Wrong_." Bakura snarled in a deathly tone, wrinkling his nose in a snarl. Ryou stared at him, wide-eyed. "You know nothing." He abruptly turned away again, Ryou bursting into fresh tears, his emotions on the edge. Bakura closed his eyes, inwardly swearing. _Fuck. Nice consolation there. If you take him to Yugi's in a state that bad, the bloody pharaoh is gonna hold you partly responsible._

_He's just an ass. I don't care about him._

_For Gods' sake, just pretend to be nice to him for five fucking minutes! It's not hard!_

"It's hard for me." Bakura muttered gently, under his breath. Ryou blinked, staring keenly at the yami.

"What's hard?" He asked in that sweet, innocent voice. Bakura looked over his shoulder, and Ryou locked gazes with him, biting his lip. "'Kura, tell me-"

"Don't _call_ me that!" Bakura roared, tightening his death grip on Ryou's wrist. The teenager flinched, in both pain and fear. "Don't you fucking call me that, you bitch!" The curse rolled off Bakura's lips without thinking, and he froze, surprising even himself. Ryou stood still, absolutely frozen for a few moments, looking Bakura in the eye, before he roughly wrenched his hand free for the yami, and ran off as fast as he could, into the darkness. Bakura swore loudly into the quiet night as he watched Ryou's retreating figure, before breaking into a run._ You fucking asshole! That's not being nice to him!_

_Shut up!_ Bakura growled, before slowing to a stop. Ryou's energy was spent, and he sank to his knees, sobbing and gasping. Bakura watched as the whitenette held his hands over his face and cried. Bakura's shoulders slumped as he let out a long, long sigh, rubbing at his eyes. He wanted to scream, to shout and cry and hit Ryou, as hard as he could, out of pure frustration. Ryou was beside himself on the damp grass, sick with horror and disappointment. Too angry and... scared to go near Ryou, Bakura could only stand a few feet away, his hands clenched into fists down at his side, as he watched Ryou totally break down, hyperventilating and crying, shaking madly. Bakura slowly unclenched his fists, his heart sinking at the sight of Ryou. The whitenette was already scared and in shock, but he tried his hardest to force it all down when Bakura tried to help him. And Bakura had just made it a million times worse. Not even he could comfort Ryou now.

_You could comfort him if you didn't fuck up this time._ Bakura snarled.

_What do you mean?_

_Holy shit... What do you think I mean? Hold him. Touch him. Talk to him. Kiss him if you have to, just do something to show you love him._

_...But I don't._

_That's what you think, buddy_.

Bakura shook his head, still regarding Ryou silently. That crazy conscience was right. _God, the kid was nearly raped. He tried to put a brave face on so I wouldn't get shitty, and I just threw it back in his face and made him worse._ _I always fuck things up_. Bakura held his head in his hand, fighting back a fit of rage. He was just so _confused_. Confused and... Guilty. Bakura let out a long, shuddering breath.

"Look." He pressed his lips together as he straightened himself, staring at Ryou. "Ryou..." He took a step closer to the teenager, shivering in the cold. Ryou remained still, huddled on the ground, sobbing. "Look..." He repeated, swallowing. He walked around, so he stood opposite the teenager, and crouched low on the ground, resting one palm on the damp grass. "Look at me." He muttered, staring at Ryou's head. The whitenette sniffed, refusing to lift his gaze from the ground. "Ryou." He snarled, his tone becoming increasingly dangerous. "Loot at me now." Ryou sighed, the breath trembling, before he slowly looked up. Bakura's heart wrenched, just a little, at the sight of Ryou's face, with his wide, tear-filled brown eyes and his cheeks dripping with the saline water. "Good." Ryou whimpered softly, curling his fingers into the earth and flinching away from Bakura. The yami sighed, deeply, arching his neck to the midnight-blue sky. He blew his bangs out of his eyes as he sighed again, before lowering his gaze back down to the teenager, who was still huddled into a ball.

"I was a prick." He muttered, breaking his gaze, choosing instead to look at his fingernails. "I shouldn't have sworn at you." Ryou pressed his lips together, trying his absolute hardest to fight the tears away. "I..." Bakura swallowed deeply, forcing his lips to form the syllables. "I'm... sorry." Ryou gasped audibly, staring at the yami wide-eyed.

"R-Really?" He slowly stammered, wrapping his arms around his middle._ God_, he could still feel those greasy, salami-fingers hands skimming all over him, the alcoholic tang of hot breath, the flabby, hairy arms and hands tearing at his clothes... Ryou squeaked, holding his head in his hands as the scene played out over and over in his minds eye, like a continuous reel of film. Bakura licked his lips, somewhat nervously, as he moved closer to Ryou. He was shaking, ever so slightly as he started to reach out, touching Ryou's shoulders. The whitenette was perfectly still as Bakura fiddled with the jacket, pulling it back around Ryou's shoulders properly. The yami regarded Ryou silently, his heart thudding.

"Just let it out." He breathed, keeping his voice as low as possible. "I know you wanna." Ryou sniffed, and with a low moan, collapsed into the pair of arms that were held out to him. Bakura's heart raced as he tightly wrapped his arms around the slender teenager, Ryou's nose in the crook of his neck. Ryou was sobbing, clinging to Bakura, trembling madly. Bakura looked up to the sky again, cupping one hand on the back of Ryou's head. Ryou was past hearing and seeing as he curled up in Bakura's arms once more, although this time, he was much closer, and more... intimate. And it unnerved Bakura. But he couldn't push Ryou away again, and he knew it. The yami let himself hold Ryou for another ten minutes, before the cold got to him, and he slowly stood up. Knowing Ryou was in no state to move, Bakura hefted the little frame in his arms, gasping. He was so light, but Bakura's equally tiny weight meant that it was like lifting a ton of bricks. It was hard.

"O-Okay..." Bakura puffed, Ryou tightening his hold around his neck. Bakura slid one hand under his knees, wrapping the other around Ryou's bony shoulders. The teenager still his nose in Bakura's neck, the sensation of skin on skin sending tiny bursts of electricity down Bakura's spine. He ignored them however, choosing instead to focus on getting out of the park, as it grew ever darker, almost pitch black. Ryou shook like a rabbit in his arms, whimpering gently. All he could think about, all he could focus on was about those two pairs of awful hands. It felt as though they were still there, all over his skin... Ryou moaned weakly, writhing slightly in an attempt to rid himself of the non-existent hands. Bakura bit his lip, but said nothing. He could only imagine how Ryou would be feeling then. To be assaulted like that... _How did it even happen? How could Ryou just walk into that? He knows the park is unsafe_...

But he knew it was widest to not question him about it just then. He settled for listening to Ryou's short, shuddering gasps as he walked briskly along the gravel road, which he knew led out of the park. His arms strained with the effort of holding Ryou, but he never dared to even ask Ryou to walk on his own. He knew he just wasn't ready for that, not yet. Bakura's boots thumped against the pavement as he finally turned out of the park, he only sound in the surprisingly quiet street. Ryou sniffed weakly, hiccupping. Bakura bit his lip, blinking as he walked directly underneath a streetlight.

"What were you doing?" It was almost ten minutes before Bakura asked the question, when Ryou's quivering sobs had finally subsided. The teenager winced, and tensed up again, earning a soft groan from the yami. "At the park, I mean. Tell me."

"I-I..." Ryou held back a sob as he tightened his hold on Bakura. "F-Fight w-with Yugi... I-I w-went for a walk... F-fell asleep and... And..." Ryou burst into fresh tears, unable to continue.

"Oh." Bakura didn't look at the teen. "I get it." It was an unspoken out for Ryou. He didn't have to go on. Ryou relaxed, but continued to cry weakly, his fingers tangled in the hair at the back of Bakura's neck. The yami winced as sensitive hairs were pulled but said nothing. His arms were, at this point, trembling with fatigue, from Ryou's weight, and he was almost panting, exhausted. "Fuck you're heavy."

"Sorry." Ryou apologized weakly. Bakura rolled his eyes.

"Not your fault." He muttered. "You're fucking skinny, Ryou. I'm just..." Bakura froze, the rest of the phrase dancing about in his mind, as he refused to say it all aloud._ Just not as strong as I used to be_.

"I-I c-can w-walk." Ryou finally managed to stutter, slowly lifting his head, and staring up at Bakura. "D-Don't mind..."

"Sure?" Bakura arched an eyebrow as he stared down at the little teenager. Ryou nodded, and so Bakura, his heart racing a little as he switched his arms, so they were wrapped around Ryou's middle. Slowly, as though the teen was made of glass, Bakura set the teenager down on the pavement. Ryou's legs trembled, and he kept his arms wrapped tightly around Bakura's neck, still crying. "Good." Bakura sighed, his arms trembling and weak with relief. He gently moved Ryou's arms from around his neck, and the teenager instantly snaked a hand around Bakura's slim middle, leaning on his shoulder. The yami pressed his lips together, before releasing one of his arms from Ryou's middle. He began walking again, his stomach churning as he paced, Ryou pressed firmly into his side. Tears still leaked from his eyes, and the teens' footsteps were slow and unsteady. Bakura was almost totally supporting him as he quickened his pace a little, glancing down at his wristwatch. Time really was marching on, and he was becoming increasingly cold.

"Almost there." Bakura muttered to himself, staring down at Ryou's fluffy white head. Large brown eyes stared unseeingly at the pavement. If anything, Ryou was frozen, disjointed from reality. _He's gonna need a long, long shower after this. _Bakura bit his lip, momentarily closing his eyes. The remembrance of that l stab of fear when he first saw Ryou, being held down and getting his clothes torn at... It was unnerving. Bakura was scared for Ryou. And that intense _anger_... The fact remained that he still felt something there for Ryou.

_But he cheated on me_. A fresh bout of anger blossomed through his chest. _Cheating slut_. His hold on Ryou tightened in remembrance, and his upper lip curled in a snarl. He didn't sat it aloud, however, knowing how damaging that would be for the docile teenager. His shoulders slumped in relief as the Game Shop came into view, his arms positively frozen. Ryou was still out of it, gasping for air as his feet stepped oh-so-lightly along the grey pavement, dully illuminated by the bright orange streetlights.

"Here." Bakura sighed as he finally stood outside the Game Shop, its lights bright and warm. He could see the distinct silhouettes of Yugi and Yami in the lounge, and looked away. He reached out, and rapped on the glass front door, his heart thudding again. He looked away, up and around, as the front door slowly opened, refusing to look Yami in the eye as the maroon-eyed male pulled open the front door.

"What the hell." Yami froze, his eyes wide at the sight before him, Ryou leaning blankly against Bakura, his face chalk-white, his entire waif-like frame trembling. "What did you do?" He exploded, turning against Bakura.

"What?" Bakura disentangled himself from Ryou, who sank to the concrete with an almost inaudible moan, holding his head in his hands. "You think I did this?" He raged, drawing himself up to his full height which, although was still short, was at least a few inches taller than the fellow spirit. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I wouldn't put it past you!" The worry of wondering where Ryou had gone off to, having Jounouchi, Anzu, and Honda comb the streets, and resulting stress had worn Yami down, and he was too exhausted to listen to reason. He was just angry, instinctively placing the blame on Bakura.

"I didn't do this!" Bakura retorted. "For fucks sake, this isn't something I would do, you fucking ass-"

"You've done it before!" Yami interrupted, without thinking. Bakura was still for a few seconds, before taking a large step towards him, incensed. The white-haired spirit grabbed at the collar of Yami's shirt, yanking at him, so they stood eye-level.

"You fucking _asshole_." Bakura spat, his face contorted in anger. "I did _not_ do this to him!" Yami snarled, and managed to wrench himself free of Bakura's grasp.

"Then who did, huh? Do you expect me to believe you _found_ Bakura like this, and took him home out of the goodness of your heart?" There was a slight mocking tone to Yami's voice as he growled the words, his low, deep voice clearly angry.

"What the heck is happening?" Yugi gasped as he stumbled onto the scene, his eyes wide. "_Bakura_..."

"Of course I don't!" Bakura raged, ignoring Yugi. "You're just too fucking _stubborn_ to think I can do _anything_ good-"

"Because it's impossible!" Yami glared daggers at the white-haired spirit. "What the hell did you do to him?"

"I did nothing!" Bakura protested, close to actually stamping his foot. "Fucking _hell-_"

"Both of you _stop it!"_ Yugi screamed, as loud as he could, his hands curled into fists. Bakura and Yami both jumped, turning to look at the shortest teen. Yugi blinked, flushing ever so slightly. "Look..." He tried to be more diplomatic. "Tell us what happened." He said simply, staring at Ryou, who was clearly beside himself.

"Oh, it's _clear_ what happened!" Yami growled. "You ran into him, and just _couldn't_ resist-"

"You shut the fuck up!" Bakura screamed. "I did nothing of the sort! Get your fucking facts right before you go accusing me of that shit!"

"STOP!" Yugi roared at the top of his lungs. "Bloody hell, look! You're scaring the hell out of Bakura!" Three pairs of eyes turned to stare at the whitenette, who was curled up in a ball on the ground, the leather jacket half off his shoulders, shaking and crying weakly.

"And who scared him in the first place?" Yami sneered. Bakura's expression was murderous.

"I did_ not-_"

"Yami, just let... Him tell his story." He trailed off, not knowing exactly how to address Bakura in his presence. "Please..." Yami shot Bakura a death glare, before crossing his arms.

"I'm listening." He muttered in his deep voice, tapping one foot against the linoleum. Bakura swallowed deeply, before clearing his throat.

"_Well_," He snared in Yami's direction. "I was merely walking through the park, minding my own business, when I heard screaming. I run to the source, and find Ryou being held down by two random freaks, okay?" To his eternal shame, Bakura's voice caught on the last syllable, but he disguised it, turning it into a cough.

"What..." Yami froze, his eyes widening even further. "What the..."

"You know that park a few blocks down and around your corner... You know how dodgy it is." Bakura snarled, trying to keep his tone as even as possible. "He fell asleep in there. What else is going to happen to him?" Yugi was stricken, staring at the crying teenager.

"H-How far did it... go?" He stammered meekly, feeling quite sick. Bakura wrinkled his nose in a snarl, and sighed deeply.

"How the hell should I know?" He snarled. "His pants are still on. They obviously didn't get far." Yugi bit his lip, and looked away, choosing instead to focus on Bakura. He froze when he caught a glimpse of his arms, the scars clearly visible under the inside light. _Oh God_...

"What did you do to them?" Yami's hands were clenched into trembling fists, Bakura noted with a smirk.

"What do you think?" He muttered casually. "Sent their asses to the shadow realm. Their souls should have been devoured by some crazy monster by now." Yami opened his mouth to respond. "Don't you _dare_ say it wasn't the right thing to do." Yami continued to stare at the floor, shaking. Bakura merely snorted, and shook his head, bending down towards Ryou. The teenager gasped at the hand on his shoulder, but didn't move. Bakura roughly yanked his worn leather jacket from Ryou's slim shoulders, throwing about his own, threading his hands through the sleeves.

"Bakura..." The white-haired spirit watched as Yugi gently crouched down beside the teen, stretching out his arm. Bakura opened his mouth to protest, but before he could get a word in, Yugi had rested a hand on Ryou's shoulder.

The whitenette screamed, jerking away from Yugi and scooting back as far as he could. Bakura jumped as Ryou crashed into his legs, and leaned back, tightly wrapping his arms around the yami's jean-clad legs.

"What the fuck..." Bakura groaned at the teenager who clung to him. Yugi was aghast as he straightened up.

"I-I didn't mean to." He stammered weakly. "R-Really. I-I was just going to help him up..."

"If you just got almost-raped, would you let anyone but..." Bakura trailed off, his stomach churning freshly, unable to say it. _The person you were in love with.._. "You know what I mean." He finished, glaring down at the clingy teenager.

"He's not gonna let anyone but you near him." Yami muttered in realization. "I can't imagine _why-_"

"Don't start." Yugi cut in quickly. "C-Can we just get Bakura inside and into some clean clothes?" Bakura snorted.

"Yeah. That's _really_ going to help."

"What else can we do?" Yami snarled. "Huh? You tell me if you think you're so smart." Bakura only shot Yami a death glare, before shoving his hands in his jacket pockets.

"_Well_," He growled. "He needs a shower. A long, hot shower. For starters."

"And?" Yami raised an eyebrow. "You're doing it, you tell me." Bakura froze.

"What?" He growled. "_Why?"_ Yugi watched the exchange silently, his mind whirling.

"You said it yourself. You're the only person he'll let touch him. Look at him." Bakura looked down at the teenager, rubbing at his eyes.

"What makes you so sure I would listen to _you?_" Bakura sneered, his hands in his pockets clenching into fists again. "Huh?"

"Simple." Yami gave a self-satisfied smirk as he pulled the front door shut. "If you refuse to help Ryou, then I'll give you a nice long vacation in the Shadow Realm." Bakura's face resembled a storm cloud as he stared Yami down, before his shoulders lowered, less than an inch, in unspoken defeat.

"Fuck you." He snarled angrily, before staring back down at Ryou. He took a step back, disentangling his legs from Ryou's grasp. The whitenette whimpered, but it was silenced as Bakura crouched down, aware of the two pairs of eyes focused intently on him. Bakura looped an arm around Ryou's shoulders, another right his middle, and pulled him into a standing position. Ryou was exhausted, mumbling something to himself as he was slowly led into the bathroom. Bakura felt strangely self-conscious as he walked through the narrow hallway, knowing Yami was following him intently.

"Here." Bakura sighed as he kicked the bathroom door open, and walked inside. Yami followed, and leaned against the doorway as he watched the white-haired pair, chewing on his lower lip. Bakura slid the tattered shirt easily over Ryou's head, who was propped against the wall, as limp and lifeless as a doll. Yami was silent as Bakura leaned down, untying his shoes. Ryou made no protest as his socks soon followed, and didn't even shiver as Bakura's fingers rested at the top of his jeans, slowly unzipping the fly, and sliding the faded denim down his legs. Finally, Ryou sat in only his underwear, staring off into space. Bakura arched an eyebrow, and cleared his throat, staring up at Yami.

"What?" He frowned, his arms still crossed. Bakura groaned, before rolling his eyes heavenward.

"Well, it's nothing _I _haven't seen before," Bakura gently grasped the top of his boxers. "But you can't say the same thing."

"...Oh." Yami's face flushed, and he turned away, closing the bathroom door behind him as he walked into the lounge. He smiled as he saw Jounouchi, Honda, and Anzu, curled up in front of the heater. "Hey!"

"Hey." Yugi smiled weakly, sitting with his hands clenched together, staring off into space. "How... How is he?"

"Not good." Yami groaned, slowly sitting down. "But nothing really happened to him. He should be okay." Yugi bit his lip, nodding gently.

"Yeah." He murmured. "Here's hoping, anyways." Jounouchi stared down at his hands, still shivering from the cold night air. "I told those guys."

"It's freaking awful." The blonde muttered, his coffee-coloured eyes narrowed slightly, in a frown. "How the hell can people do that?"

"It's not an isolated incident." Anzu rubbed her hands together. "We hear about it all the time in the news. There were two, just last week. It's just that it's never been anyone so close to us that makes it scary."

"Yeah." Yugi murmured, running a hand through his hair. "But that doesn't make it right."

"Of course it doesn't." Yami muttered. "He's really shaken up. We're going to have to be extra nice to him for the next few days." The others in the room nodded.

"Is... He with Bakura?" Yugi inquired gently. Yami nodded, biting his lip.

"Are you sure they're okay together?" Honda frowned. "I thought the spirit hated him."

"Course he does." Yami leaned into the back of the sofa. "But he knows what'll happen to him if he hurts Bakura. It'll be fine."

"He doesn't hate Bakura." Yugi murmured, remembering how angry the white-haired spirit was when Yami accused him of hurting Ryou, and how his voice broke when he retold the sequence of events. Four pairs of eyes turned keenly onto him. "What?" He looked up at them all. "He doesn't."

"Sure." Honda snorted. "And the sky aint blue."

"No..." Yugi groaned, rubbing at his eyes. "You don't understand me. He doesn't hate Bakura. He's just angry at him over what happened. If he hated him, he wouldn't do all this for Bakura, would he? And he wouldn't be so..."

"So what?" The harsh voice from the doorway made everyone jump. Yami growled and stood up at the sight of Bakura, surveying the scene with his trademark cocky smirk. "Oh settle down. I didn't do jack shit." He marched across the room, and plopped down on an empty armchair, still smirking, enjoying the discomfort he caused. "I wouldn't be so what, huh?"

"Yugi, don't talk to him." Yami muttered abruptly, clenching his hands into fists. Bakura only rolled his eyes, snorting.

"For fucks' sake, I'm not going to murder anyone again tonight." He examined his fingernails, trying to clean out a speck of dirt.

"Again?" Anzu murmured weakly, clearly scared. Bakura's smirk grew, before it faded.

"Did you think I would let those sick fucks go free?" He locked eyes with Yami. "Would anyone in this room let them just walk off?"

"I wouldn't _kill_ them." Yugi muttered gently, looking down at his hands. Bakura only chuckled.

"Whatever." He straightened up a little in the chair he was slouching in. "I wouldn't be so what?" He asked again, now switching his scrutinizing gaze to Yugi.

"Huh?" The youngest teen blinked, frowning slightly. Bakura rolled his eyes.

"You claim I don't hate Ryou. You said I wouldn't be so.."

"Oh!" Yugi brightened. "Yeah. Well, I was gonna say that you were really defensive when Yami said you did that to Bakura..." The yami only raised a silvery eyebrow.

"Doesn't mean I don't hate him." Yugi opened his mouth to protest, but Yami cut in, clearly angry.

"Of course you hate him." Yami snarled. "You can't feel anything but hate for anybody." Four teenagers held their breath as Bakura stood up, incensed.

"Fuck you." Bakura growled, shaking in his rage. "That's not true and you fucking _know_ it!" Yugi's eyes darted from Yami to Bakura, and back again, and he winced. "I loved Ryou! But it was a _long_ time ago!"

"Not that long." Yami said. "You said you loved him, but I never believed you for a second." Bakura took a step towards the other spirit, his fury beyond words.

"It was a fucking year ago!" He yelled, his eyes narrowed. "That is a long time! And fuck you! I don't give a shit if you don't believe me! But it's the truth! Who the hell do you think you are, to tell me how I feel?"

"Don't you _dare_ speak to me like that!" Yami roared, taking a step towards Bakura himself.

"Oh get _over_ yourself!' Bakura snarled. "You're nothing, remember? Just like me." He threw in the last part –not that it was true, because Bakura was, in his opinion, certainly more than nothing- purely to anger Yami, and anger him it did. The shorter spirit growled, and practically lunged at Bakura. Honda and Jounouchi jumped up, wide-eyed, and each grabbed at one of the ex-Egyptians, dragging them away from each other. Yugi jumped between the pair, holding up his arms and trying to keep them apart.

"This is pointless!" He protested, looking from Yami, to Bakura. "Why the heck are you two fighting like this when Bakura's all alone in the bathroom right now?" Yugi watched as something flickered in Bakura's eyes. "He's been in there for fifteen minutes... Is he okay?"

"... I'll check." Bakura shot Yami a glare cold enough to freeze a fire, before easily wrenching himself out of Jounouchi's grasp. He turned away from the group, and thumped angrily towards the bathroom. After a slight not from Yugi, Jounouchi quickly followed, his hands slightly shaking. A cloud of steam greeted Bakura as he pushed the bathroom open, and he waved it away, blinking away. He waded through the thick vapour, before approaching the shower, where the hazy, unfocused figure of Ryou was crouched down in the bottom. Bakura wrenched the glass door open, and stared down, his stomach dropping slightly at the sight of Ryou, curled into a ball on the floor with his arms around his knees, his hair, heavy with water, draped around his back and shoulders and arms. He sighed, a long deep sigh of sympathy, and reached out, making sure his arm wasn't in the path of the stream of water, and turned the knob, cutting off the shower. Jounouchi stood in the doorway, squinting through the steam as Bakura crouched down, staring at the small, huddled body.

"Ryou." Bakura muttered, one hand on the bathmat to balance himself. "Come on." The teenager whimpered, beginning to shiver as the water on his skin cooled. "Shit." He straightened up, and turned to Jounouchi. "Chuck me a towel." The blonde blinked, and nodded, pulling a fluffy yellow towel off the metal rack, and throwing it towards the yami. Bakura crouched back down again, leaning over and wrapping it around Ryou's bony shoulders. He let the hem of the towel fall into the small puddle of water at the floor of the shower, not caring. "Come on." He repeated, trying to keep the edge of anger out of his voice. "Give me your arms." Ryou slowly lifted his head, his bangs dripping water onto his face. Eventually, he unwound his arms from his knees, and stretched them out, holding his shaking hands up to Bakura. The yami took them, and pulled. Ryou whimpered as he stood up, and slowly stepped out of the shower, and onto the bathmat. Bakura looked back, shooting a look at Jounouchi, who took the hint, and left the room, closing the door. Ryou shivered still, cold hair trickling from his hair, and down his back, his chest and legs. Bakura bit his lip as he grabbed another towel, and began roughly rubbing it through Ryou's long white locks, drying them.

"Th-th-thanks..." Ryou managed to whimper, his little voice shaking as he clutched tightly onto his towel, his legs wavering a little as he stood up on his own accord. Bakura sighed, and rubbed at the ends of Ryou's hair, before gathering it all up in the now-damp towel, twisting it around Ryou's head like a turban.

"Whatever." Bakura muttered as he grabbed the towel from Ryou. The teenager blushed, looking down as Bakura dried him off, roughly. Ryou winced, trying not to cry out. Bakura froze, throwing the towel over his shoulder and holding Ryou's arms up to his eye. It was all very pink, too pink, and in some places, the skin looked shiny... Bakura tossed a glance over to the shower, his eyes resting on the nail brush in the bottom.

_Oh Christ... He didn't._

"Why the fuck did you use a nail brush on yourself?" The towel slipped to the floor as Bakura walked around, until he was in front of Ryou, grabbing at his shoulders. "Huh? That shit takes the skin off if you use it too hard!" Ryou's breathing quickened, and tears threatened to spill from his eyes.

"I-I..." Ryou stared Bakura in the eye. "N-Not clean..." He closed his eyes, pressing his lips together as he burst into tears. Bakura groaned, and took a step back. _Damn_, he felt bad for Ryou at that point...

"You got a bathrobe?" He kept his voice rough and uncaring, for his own sake, looking around the small tiled room. Ryou sniffed, and slowly nodded, rubbing at his eyes.

"O-On the door..." He whispered in that soft, gentle voice that _still_ made Bakura's insides melt, rubbing at his arms, which were now (For the most part) dry. Bakura sighed, and walked towards the door, where, sure enough, a light blue terrycloth robe hung on a hook, too long to belong to anyone else in the house.

"Lift your arms." Bakura muttered, heading back to the teen. Ryou, who was incessantly quivering nodded, and obeyed. Bakura slid his bony little arms through the long, wide sleeves, and wrapped it around Ryou's middle. He tied the cord, and stood back, looking away. Ryou wrapped his arms around himself, still staring at Bakura, his breathing erratic and shallow. "Come on." He roughly grabbed Ryou's shoulder, and led him out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Ryou stumbled, struggling to keep up with Bakura as he was led along the hallway. "Which one is yours?"

"Here." Ryou stopped outside a closed door. Bakura paused, and nodded, opening the door. He stared at the small room, which was smaller than the one Ryou lived in at their old apartment. "Th-Thankyou." He repeated as he slowly stumbled across the room, sinking onto his bed. Bakura paused in the doorway, and flicked on the light switch, staring as Ryou gently pulled the towel from his hair, fluffy white hair tumbling around his slim shoulders. The yami was frozen as he stared, stared at the teenager with one long leg exposed from the dressing gown, all the way up his thigh, and his shoulder, which wasn't hidden now the robe was slowly slipping.

"Yeah." Bakura roughly turned away. "Whatever." Ryou breath hitched in his throat, the gasp loud enough to attract Bakura's attention, who paused, and turned back around, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" He responded coolly, his hands in his pockets again. Ryou swallowed, fighting back a sob.

"Y-You..." He swallowed deeply. "Y-You said you weren't gonna leave..." He sniffed, fighting back tears. Bakura growled, but complied, slowly walking over to the bed. He perched on the end, staring off into space.

"You're gonna be okay." He muttered into the room. "They didn't do anything but touch you." Ryou shuddered. "I know it's gross. But you'll get over it. Hell, I've babied you enough." The whitenette licked his lips, his heart thudding. He still wasn't thinking straight, as he sat on the bed. Despite his vicious scrubbing, Ryou could still feel two sets of hands all over his skin, and he was, to put it simply, completely overjoyed that Bakura was showing this attention. Foolishly, he thought that it meant that Bakura cared about him deeply, maybe even loved him. Ryou never realised that Bakura was forced into playing out such niceties from Yami. Although it stirred up strong emotions in Bakura, that could maybe eventually rethink his feelings for Ryou, it was far, far too soon for the spirit to comprehend exactly what it was he was feeling, and what it all meant.

Which was why it was such a bad idea that Ryou kissed him.

It was impulsive, more than anything. Ryou was scared, and in shock still, and he totally misinterpreted the care that Bakura was showing towards him, holding him and walking him home and helping him shower, and taking him to bed. Ryou leaned over, his cheeks flushing deeply as he shyly placed his lips over Bakura's.

The yami froze. Every muscle in his body went rigid as Ryou kissed him, in his own shy way. He went numb with shock. As soon as recognition struck, that it was Ryou who was kissing him, anger flared up in his chest. In his rage, he pushed Ryou away angrily, slapping him on the face for good measure. Ryou gasped as he fell back against the bed, holding a hand to his flushing face.

"What the _fuck_ was that?" Bakura screamed in his anger, twitching. "Huh?" Ryou started to hyperventilate, his mouth falling open in shock.

"I-I..." Ryou's voice was trembling. "I-I thought-"

"Well, you though wrong!" Bakura yelled, leering over the teenager. "Hell Ryou, I only babied you like that because Yami told you! And also, I felt sorry for you!" Fresh tears formed in Ryou's eyes. "I don't feel that way about you! How the hell can I, after you fucking _cheated?"_ Ryou shakily sat up, now holding his hands over his mouth, feeling sick.

"I-I..."

"Don't fucking talk to me!" Bakura raged at the top of his voice. It was taking all of his self control to not hit Ryou as hard as he could. "What the hell is wrong with you, you stupid brat?" Ryou's face crumpled, before he buried it in his hands. Bakura straightened, his heart thudding harder and faster than ever before in his chest. The yami turned, and stomped out of the room, before he did something he _really _regretted.

"What the hell is going on?" Yami roared, catching Bakura just as he was about to leave the house. "What did you do?"

"Oh, piss off!" Bakura yelled. "Just piss off, you pompous ass! Stay the _fuck _away from me!" Yami was seething as Bakura slammed the door behind him, running out onto the street. He chose to go see Ryou, as opposed to chasing after the livid spirit. Yami pulled the bedroom door open, his shoulders lowering as he stared at the crying Ryou, who held his hands over his face.

Bakura was panting as he ran, his boots thudding against the pavement. He didn't know where he was even going, didn't even really care. He just wanted to put as much distance between himself and Ryou as he could. His head was churning as he ran, gasping for air. Why the _hell_ did Ryou have to do that to him? Why did he kiss him? Bakura knew he loved him, but why did the teenager have to do something so _stupid?_ The yami growled, and finally, had to slow to a stop, doubling over with his hands on his knees, his lungs screaming for air. All he could think about was the kiss. How Ryou kissed him. How it felt to have those sweet, rose-coloured lips rest on his again, how... _Good_ it felt.

_NO!_ Bakura inwardly screamed. _I do not love Ryou! I hate him! Yugi was wrong! They're all wrong! I hate hate hate Ryou! And the kiss meant nothing to me. Absolutely nothing!_ Bakura swallowed, hyperventilating as he gasped for air. His emotions were such a mix of fury and confusion... Yugi's words came back to him.

"_If he hated him, he wouldn't do all this for Bakura, would he?"_

Bakura groaned, shaking his head. _Not true. The simple fact is that I hate Ryou. I hate him, and that's all there is to it!_

_Which is why you enjoyed that kiss so much..._

Bakura held his hands over his head, and screamed.

* * *

Awh. Poor confused little baby n.n;

If anyone says update soon, I will kill you.

Hahahahhahha, I'm only joking. I appreciate all feedback very muchly.

So..

R&R!


	26. Chapter 26

New chapter! Yey! Hehehehe.

* * *

It was morning.

Bakura rested his head against the red-tan brickwork, biting back a groan. Streaks of gold flared across the sky, and it was extremely cold. The yami was hidden in a cold streetside alley, next to a dumpster. The air reeked from the rotting stench, but he didn't care. Bakura never got his petrol to get home. He'd never even gone to his car. After screaming himself hoarse on the street corner, he'd sank to his knees, sobbing into his hands for almost an hour. He was just so confused and angry and... Scared.

No, not scared.

Bakura was terrified.

All he could think about what Ryou. Everything that had happened. Everything he _felt_. The cold shock of fear and anger when he was being attacked. The annoyance and anger at Ryou's reaction and then the turbulent confusion and... sympathy, when he was taking care of the teen. And that _kiss_.

There was no doubt about it, Bakura cared about him.

It drove him insane. When Bakura finally managed to pull himself together, he just started running. He ran, as fast as he could, as far as he could. When exhaustion got the better of him, he chose what he thought was the right thing, and found a twenty-four hour bar. Drowning his emotions in alcohol seemed like the best reprieve he could think of.

It was the early hours of the morning when the barman threw him out for starting a fight with another drunk. Dazed, disorientated, Bakura merely stumbled into the nearest alley he could find, and sink to the concrete.

"Holy fuck..." Bakura rubbed at his eyes. He didn't sleep –he just curled up into the smallest huddle he could, his head hurting and stomach churning. "Morning..." His tongue was fuzzy, and felt too large for his mouth, and there was an awful, alcoholic aftertaste. "Ugh." He let out a long sigh, turning his face up to the sky. He was cold, cramped, and aching. Bakura sighed deeply, and swallowed. And worse of all, now that the glorious effects of the alcohol had worn off, Bakura was just left with a dull, hollow emptiness. And memories. And feelings. _Oh God Ryou_. Bakura tried to keep his breathing even. After all that, Ryou was back on his mind. _ I can't do this_... The yami moaned softly, closing his eyes. _ I fucking can't keep doing this to myself!_ It took a considerable amount of effort, but he finally managed to stand, leaning heavily against the wall. He slowly stumbled along, shaking, as he walked out of the alley, doubling over with his hands on his knees for a moment, and catching his breath. _Oh, fuck, I need a coffee_. He groaned, holding a hand to his forehead. Bakura knew he must have looked a sight, dishevelled, his clothes wrinkled and hair a mess, dark rings under his eyes, but he didn't really give a fuck.

_What do I do?_ Bakura's shoulders slumped, and he looked down at the pavement. He wanted to throw up... _Oh Fuck, what do I do?_ He was a total mess, and he knew it. There was nothing –no one- who could help him.

_Well_. Bakura made a face. _That's not true._ He sighed, rubbing at his eyes as he stumbled down the street.

_I always have that last resort. _

* * *

"Hey, Bakura."

The whitenette moaned, keeping his head buried in the pillow. Yugi bit his lip as he sat down on the edge of the bed, whilst Yami leaned in the doorway, staring at the young whitenette.

"Hey..." Yugi repeated, knowing better than to reach out and touch the teen, just lightly, even though he wanted to. "You um... You coming to school today?" He turned back, shooting Yami a glance. He only shrugged, biting his lip.

"N-No..." Ryou moaned softly, his voice muffled. He hugged the pillow with his bony arms, shaking violently.

"That's okay." Yugi tried to smile, but failed. "We don't expect you to. Yami's gonna be here all day if you need him, so just uh, just shout out, okay?" Ryou didn't move, and didn't make any sound that he had heard his friend, but Yugi knew he had heard. Yami watched as his lighter half left the room, heading to his own bedroom to get changed.

"Bakura." His tone was low, and serious. "Please sit up and listen to me." The teenager remained still in the bed. "Please. It's important." Ryou sniffed, but a moment later, lifted his head. He pressed his hands on the mattress and turned over, slowly sitting up. He regarded Yami silently, pushing his hair pout of his eyes.

"Wh-What is it?" He asked in his soft voice, which was broken, thick with tears. Yami sighed deeply.

"It's about the spirit of the ring." Ryou tensed. "Hear me out, okay?" Ryou was still for a long moment, before he nodded, biting his lip. "Okay..." Yami let out a long, long sigh, wondering just how to put it all into words. Ryou looked his hands, which were folded in his lap. "You know that if you want me to uh, get rid of him-"

"No!" Ryou burst out, tears welling in his eyes. "D-Don't Yami..." He stared at the spirit, his chest heaving. "Please... Y-You can't hurt him. I-I know you think he deserves it, and on some level, he might, but you can't hurt him..." he resembled the most pathetic, sad look on his face that he could muster.

"Bakura..." Yami shook his head. "I don't understand you. He has hurt you so much... Why don't you let me give him the punishment he deserves?"

"Because..." Ryou sniffed. "I-I... I-I still l-l-love him..." Yami sighed as Ryou broke down into floods of tears. "I-I'm s-sorry..."

"It's okay." Yami stared off into space for a moment, before standing up. "You have nothing at all to be sorry for." He stared down at the white-haired teen. "Just call out if you want anything, 'kay?"

"Kay..." Ryou mumbled miserably as the door was shut.

* * *

"Hello, how may I... Help you..." The secretary blinked as Bakura slammed the door behind himself, panting. "What on earth..."

"I need to see Sanami." Bakura gasped, his hands on the polished wooden desk. "_Now_." The girl was wide-eyed.

"Um... I-I'm afraid I cannot allow that." She murmured. "Sh-She's only just got in... And she has an appointment at nine... Are you a regular patient-"

"Just tell me where the fuck Sanami is, you bitch!" Bakura lost control, clenching his hands into fists. "_Now!"_

"Please sir, calm down, or I'll have to call Security-"

"Like _fuck_ you will!" Bakura raged, and jumped across the desk. The receptionist squeaked, which turned into a choked gasp as Bakura grabbed her, slamming her against the wall, and grabbing her neck. "Now you fucking _listen _to me." He hissed, his breath strong, almost toxic from the alcohol. "You tell me where the hell she is now, or I'll break the bones in your fucking neck and _strangle_ you." The girl mouthed soundlessly, choking and gasping.

"Bakura!" The yami jumped, staring at the woman, who stood in the doorway to the waiting room, holding her hands over her mouth, eyes wide. "Wh-What on earth are you doing?"

"Finally!" Bakura snarled. "Where the fuck have you been?"

"Bakura, put her down." Sanami tried to keep her voice as even as possible. "You don't have to hurt her."

"Stupid bitch deserves it." Bakura shot the young receptionist a death glare, tightening his hold on her throat. Sanami took a step towards the pair, making sure to not make any sudden movements.

"No, she doesn't." Sanami was partly in shock. "Look. Please, let her go, and we can talk about what's bothering you calmly and rationally-"

"Shut up." Bakura growled, gritting his teeth. "Don't you use that _fucking_ patronizing tone with me, Sanami!" The girl whimpered, barely able to breathe.

"Okay." Sanami nodded, her hands shaking. "Look. Just put my secretary down, okay? Strangling her isn't going to do you any favours." Bakura was very still, his heart thudding. Sanami locked eyes with the yami. "Why are you here? At this hour, no less."

"Ryou..." Bakura mumbled, his breathing quickening. "He. I-I mean, last night..."

"Yes?"

"Fuck." Bakura groaned. "I was just walking through one of the parks. I didn't expect to walk into it..."

"Walk into what?" Bakura let out a long breath, his hands shaking. "Bakura?"

"Ryou." He muttered, remembering. "These guys were trying to rape him." Sanami's hands returned to her mouth, and her eyes widened.

"Oh Christ..."

"A-And then I had to take him home." Bakura's tone was dull, empty. "I had to look after him. He... He wouldn't let anybody but me touch him. I-I had to hold him and be so nice..." His gaze was now fixed on the floor, his hands slightly relaxing on the girls' neck.

"Oh no..." Sanami momentarily closed her eyes.

"And then he kissed me." The woman froze. "He fucking kissed me!" Bakura's hands tightened on the girls' neck with a renewed force. "Why the fuck did he have to do that?"

"Bakura-"

"I was handling myself before then!" Bakura's voice was slightly hoarse. "I was in control! But _no_, he had to go and fuck it all up!"

"Where have you been..." Sanami could smell the alcohol across the room, and made a face.

"Why the fuck did he do it?" Bakura repeated, his voice shaking. "Fucking hell, tell me why he did it! Tell me why I'm like this! Tell me how to fucking fix it!"

"Bakura, I can't-"

"You fucking bragged to me that you knew everything about me, you bitch!" Bakura screamed. "If you know so fucking much, then why can't you tell me this?" He cut the girls airway off completely, who gave a choked gasp.

"Bakura, I don't know!" Sanami lost herself for a second. "There's some things I can't tell you! I only have theories! I can't tell you how you feel! And for _Gods _sake, let the girl go before you kill her!"

"Tell me why he did this!" He ignored the desperate flailing from the girl, trembling hands grasping weakly at his wrists, trying and failing to free herself from the choking grip on her neck. Sanami gritted her teeth, locking eyes with her young secretary.

"Bakura... Please, she's only nineteen." Sanami begged, feeling helpless. "Let her go..." Bakura's hands were trembling. "You don't wanna kill her. Not over something this stupid..."

"Why did Ryou kiss me." Bakura muttered, his voice low and even. "_Tell_ me." Sanami bit her lip, raising her eyes to the ceiling for a long moment.

"He kissed you because he loves you." Sanami said simply. "You obviously gave off something that he mistook for a show of love. You said he'd just been attacked. He was probably still in shock. Bakura, Ryou thinks the world of you." Bakura closed his eyes, his shoulder slumping. "Let her go."

Slowly, his entire frame shaking, Bakura released his hands from the young girls neck. She coughed, and gasped immediately, holding her throat as she sank to her knees, choking as she heaved for air. Bakura didn't give her a second thought as he slowly sank into the blue padded office chair, staring into space. Sanami sighed deeply, and ran over to the pair, crouching down to help her secretary. The girl was sobbing as Sanami gently took her arm, helping her to stand up as she choked and gasped. Bakura sat silently as Sanami led her over to the long black leather couch, causing her to sit down with a soft cry.

"You're wrong." Bakura's voice was flat, monotonous. "You have to be wrong." Sanami looked up, one hand on the trembling girls' shoulder. "You can't... He can't..."

"You refuse to believe Ryou loves you." Sanami murmured softly. "_Why?_"

"Because he fucking can't!" Bakura stood up, and whirled around, glaring at the woman. "I've put him through hell! How can he love me... Why the fuck did he even love me in the first place?"

"Appealing characteristics." Sanami tried so hard to keep her cool, even tone. "Looks, charm, wit, humor, intelligence, maybe kindness..." Bakura only snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Please." He snarled. "I'm none of things, you stupid woman, and you know it." Sanami sighed, frowning.

"That's a lie, Bakura." She muttered. "And _you _know it. You have looks and intelligence, and your own sardonic humour. Ryou likes those things, obviously. And he likes you. Alot. You treated him really well for those few short months, Bakura, and he loved every second of it. Do you think he's going to let it go?"

"But I hurt him." Bakura muttered, wavering slightly on his feet. Sanami bit her lip hard, her hand tensing on the young secretary's shoulder. "And you know why?" He flared up anew, clenching his hands into fists. "Because he hurt me in the first place! This is his punishment, and he deserves it!"

"There you go." Sanami murmured gently. "You're using the fact that he was manipulated and alone, forced into sleeping with his best friend, because it's a rationalisation for this treatment towards him. It's your excuse, Bakura."

"What excuse?" Bakura snarled. "Look what he did to me, it's a pretty good fucking reason to hate him-"

"You raped him!" Sanami burst out, Her hand on the girls' shoulder so tight she was wincing in pain. "You constantly abused and dehumanised him, Bakura! I'm amazed that he stayed with you for so long!" She let out a long, long sigh, trying to control herself. "I.." She swallowed. "Look. The fact that Ryou stayed by you, and still loves you, after everything that's happened, it shows real dedication. He's put so much into your relationship, Bakura." The yami stood stock still, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "Can't you see that-"

"Shut up!" Bakura lost it, as he jumped back over the desk, glaring at the woman. "Shut the fuck up, Sanami!" The woman gasped, releasing her hold on the young receptionist, taking a step back. "You're wrong!" She continued walking back as Bakura walked towards her, her eyes wide. "Ryou's just fucking needing and clingy! He's so desperate for love and attention, he's latched on to me!" Sanami gasped as Bakura grabbed the collar of her jacket, slamming her against the wall. "God, you don't understand!"

"Bakura, let me go." Sanami's voice shook. "This isn't going to solve anything and you know it-" She let out a choked cry as Bakura kneed her hard in the stomach, quivering.

"Shut up, Sanami!" Bakura yelled. "Just stop fucking talking! I came in here looking for fucking answers, and you couldn't give them to me! You're so useless!" Sanami held her hands over her stomach, shaking. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I gave you answers!" Sanami retorted, still coughing. "I told you the truth, Bakura! You just didn't like it!"

"_Liar_." Bakura hissed, his nose inches from hers. "It's not the truth! You think you can calculate me like I'm just some sort of formula? Well, you thought fucking _wrong_."

"I-I never thought that..." Sanami gasped, shaking her head. "Please, Bakura..." She gasped, screaming softly as Bakura easily pushed her to the ground. "What-" Bakura shut her up by hurling a foot into her side, earning a scream from the woman.

"Just stop talking Sanami!" Bakura shouted at her, glaring down at her. "Stop fucking talking! Just shut up!" He looked away from her, the sound across the room catching his attention. The receptionist, who had the phone pressed to her ear, froze as Bakura ran across the room, tightly grabbing her wrist.

"Put the phone down." He muttered evenly. "Before I break your fucking wrist." The girl trembled, her eyes wide. "_Now_." The phone clattered to the desk as it slipped from her fingers, as she stared at him, frozen in terror.

"Bakura..." Sanami winced as she slowly, shakily stood up, holding her side. "Please... Calm down and listen to me-"

"NO!" The girl screamed as Bakura's grip on her wrist tightened to an almost breaking force. "I'm sick of fucking listening to you go on about shit that isn't even true!"

"Bakura-"

"I came here for fucking answers!" He loosened his hold on the girls' wrist, practically throwing it away from him. "And I didn't get them, did I?"

"You did!" Sanami protested weakly. "I told you. Ryou loves you. I know you're scared and confused, but please Bakura, this anger isn't helping anyone-"

"Oh shut up." Bakura snarled. "Fuck it. I'm out of here." Sanami's mouth fell open as Bakura headed towards the door.

"You..." The woman swallowed. "Bakura, if you walk out that door, then that's it. You understand? If you don't calm down and listen to reason, then I'm not going to speak to you anymore. I can't handle it."

"Well, fuck you too." Bakura ran out of the room, his feet thumping on the floor. Tears were in his eyes as he angrily slammed the door shut.

* * *

"Okay class, now, everyone please take out your books and turn to chapter twenty-three... Miho, can you please begin reading the first paragraph?" Jounouchi shot a sideways glance at Yugi as the class rustled, searching for books, leaning over to the desk next to him.

"How's Bakura?" He asked, making sure to whisper. Yugi winced, and looked down, sighing deeply.

"Not good." He whispered in return, Miho's voice providing adequate cover. "We couldn't get him out of bed this morning. Yami checked on him all through the night. He didn't sleep at all. He just couldn't stop crying."

"Poor guy." Jounouchi murmured in sympathy. "He don't deserve what the spirit's dishing out to him." Yugi looked down, saddened.

"Yeah." The maroon-eyed teen swallowed. "I know. I just feel so awful for him right now. To go through that... And then be totally shot down by the person you loved..."

"He wasn't thinking right." Jounouchi kept an eye on the teacher. "Surely the spirit knows that, right?"

"He's not thinking right either." Yugi's voice was low, and sad. "Have... Have you seen his arms?" Jounouchi shook his head, blonde bangs falling into his arms.

"Nah." He muttered. "But Bakura told me. How bad is it?"

"Oh, it's awful." Yugi sighed. "I-I know he's evil and everything, but it's so obvious that he's screwed up and confused. I... I feel sorry for him."

"You would." Jou muttered. "You see the good in everyone."

"You mean you don't?" The teacher was still oblivious to the pair's whispered conversation, as Miho continued reciting.

"Didn't say that." Jou looked thoughtful. "Remember that time... God, it was a year ago... Where the spirit went into hospital after slashing his arms?" Yugi nodded gravely. "Yeah. Bakura never found out if it was masochism gone wrong, or a suicide attempt. Either way, it's sick, man. Scared the shit out of me."

"It's so messed up." Yugi breathed. "There's just so much going on between them. I wish there was something someone could do..."

"Yugi," Jounouchi warned. "Don't go getting any ideas now. You can't get between them. You'll just get hurt."

"But Jou-"

"No!" Jounouchi hissed. "Do you think there's not anything that I wanna do to help? Because there is! If I could do anything to get them together again, and make Bakura happy, I would! It kills me to see him like this, Yugi. And I know it kills you too. But... If we get in the spirit's way, you know he would just hurt us. And then Yami would intervene and it would just be so messy..."

"Motou! Jounouchi!" The pair jumped at the teacher, who frowned down at them. "What on earth is so important that you feel the need to interrupt my lesson?" Yugi opened his mouth to respond, his brow creasing in anger, when the door to the classroom opened, and the principal walked in. The entire class straightened up, shuffling and coughing, while the teacher blinked, composing herself.

"Sorry to interrupt your class." He smiled. "But I am looking for Bakura Ryou... is he in school today?"

"No, sorry, he's not." The teacher responded with a frown. Yugi watched and listened keenly, frowning.

"No, he wouldn't." The principal frowned. He stared around the classroom, before his eyes settled on Yugi. "Motou, come with me." He held the door open. "Gather your things."

"Um, okay Sir." Yugi exchanged a quick glance with Jounouchi, before shoving his things in his bag, slinging it over his shoulders. He easily walked under the principals' arm, and into the hall.

"My office." The principal muttered, before walking down the hall. Yugi bit his lip, but nodded, deep in thought as he followed the man through the network of halls and stairs, until they were finally at the principals' office.

"Why did you want to see me. Sir?" Yugi bit his lip as the door was closed behind him. "Is it about Bakura?"

"It is indeed." He muttered, taking a seat in his chair. "Sit down." Yugi blinked, but obeyed, swallowing as he sat down. "Can you tell me why Bakura's not at school today?" He asked, writing something on a pad of paper.

"Why?" Yugi murmured instinctively, his hold on his bag tightening. The principal made a sound of annoyance.

"Because." He muttered shortly. "Do you understand that in the past two weeks, Bakura has attended school a grand total of three days? Now, I understand that he is having some personal problems, but I haven't received a note from his father... Not even a phone call to explain these absences. We need those for our records." He looked at his watch. "Now. Can you explain why Bakura is not at school?"

"You really wanna know?" Yugi was angry as he stared at the principal, who continued to write on that pad of paper.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't." He muttered, not looking at Yugi.

"Fine." Yugi gritted his teeth. "Bakura's not here, because he was _attacked_ last night in the park near my house. He was almost raped." The principal stilled, the pen slipping from his hands. Slowly, he looked up to stare at Yugi, frowning slightly.

"Are you serious?" There was an edge of concern to his voice, Yugi noted.

"That's not the sort of thing you joke about." He muttered grimly, his knuckles white. "He didn't sleep last night. He's in too much shock."

"He... Is at your house?" The principal frowned. "How long has he been there for?"

"Three weeks." Yugi looked down at his knees. "He's kinda been kicked out of his house... He's got nowhere else to go." The principal stared down at his pad, biting his lip. "Look, what is this about?"

"Bakura's father." He muttered. "Does Bakura keep in contact with his father?" Yugi sighed, and shook his head.

"Nope." He muttered wearily. "They haven't spoken in months. Not since he cut Bakura off. For some reason, he didn't like the idea of his only child marrying another man."

"Oh..." The principal picked up his pen, making another note on his pad. "By the sounds of things, Bakura's life isn't stable right now. Have you considered contacting social services-"

"No!" Yugi stood up. "Don't you dare!" He tried his hardest to look intimidating. "Bakura's fine staying with me. He's sixteen. Legally, he could live on his own if he wanted to. My older brother stays at home with him during the day. He's fine where he is."

"Bakura's _not_ fine." The principal muttered. "I need to talk to both Bakura and his father regarding his academic performance throughout the year..." Yugi watched as the man picked up an envelope from the desk. "Give this to Bakura." He instructed. "We're going to keep in contact with his father." Yugi blinked. "Understand?"

"Yes." Yugi took the envelope that was handed to him. "I'll give it to him after school."

"Good." The principal muttered. "Now return to class."

* * *

"Wh-What's in the letter?" Ryou breathed as he sat up in bed, pushing his hair out of his face. Yugi shrugged as he sat down on the edge of the bed, playing with his fingers. "Did the principal say anything?"

"Kinda." Yugi muttered, not able to look at Ryou. "He... He wants to talk to your father." He stumbled in a rush, finding his hands very interesting. Ryou's eyes widened, and he froze.

"Wh-Why?" He whimpered softly. "I-I haven't talked to him in months..." Ryou's hands were trembling as he looked down at the letter, swallowing deeply.

"I dunno." Yugi didn't look up. "Just open it. Get it over with quickly." Ryou nodded, and slowly turned the letter open in his hands. He slid his finger under the glued flap of the envelope, slowly bringing the pale, bony digit across, breaking the seal.

"O-Okay." The blankets were scrunched at Ryou's waist as he pulled the piece of paper from the envelope. He unfolded the letter slowly, before beginning to read. Yugi stared as Ryou's eyes flicked from side to side, slowly making his way down the paper. The shorter teens' stomach churned as Ryou's expression slowly progressed from curiosity to confusion, to horror, and finally, to sick desolation.

"What is it?" Yugi breathed, his heart thumping as the letter slipped from Ryou's fingers. The teenager bowed his head, silvery-white hair falling over his face. "Bakura?"

"Th-They can't do that..." Ryou murmured, his chin trembling. "I-I'm sure they can't..."

"Can't do what?" Yugi asked, before gently taking the letter from Ryou's lap. "Can I read it?" The whitenette nodded weakly, holding his head in his hands. Yugi bit his lips as he started to scan the letter, frowning slightly. "Dear Mr. Bakura... Your son Ryou, yeah yeah..." He read aloud, murmuring it to himself, more than anything. "Although your son showed exemplary academic promise when he began at our school, over the course of the school year, his marks have dropped dramatically." Yugi paused, biting his lip for a moment. "And he is now failing in every single class... Oh _Bakura_." His mouth fell open, and he stared at Ryou's head.

"Go on." He moaned weakly, sobbing. Yugi gulped, but read on in trepidation.

"Um... Every single class... We have exhausted all possibilities for your son, but we can no longer keep him in his current classes, due to his extremely poor schoolwork." Yugi's mouth fell open. "What... You're being _expelled?_"

"I wish." Ryou breathed, shaking. "K-Keep going..."

"We now have no other option for your son, than for him to repeat the year- _No." _Yugi's heart sank. "Holy hell..." He stared at Ryou. "I... But you haven't done _that_ badly."

"I-I have." Ryou sobbed. "I-I've been failing for months... And ever since Bakura woke up..." He tried so hard not to cry. "I haven't passed a thing Yugi. I haven't passed a single test in a month. I've missed out on so much school to begin with, a-and I never do my homework... B-But it's not my fault, Yugi. It's not."

"I know it's not." Yugi murmured. "I know it's not your fault. You've been under so much stress and stuff for months and months now. Don't they know that?"

"They do." Ryou was still sobbing, his voice trembling and broken. "The principal knows... And he says he cares but he doesn't... I know he doesn't." Yugi sighed heavily in sympathy. "Held back... H-How c-can I get held back?" He lay back down on his pillows with a dull thump, staring up at the ceiling. "They can't do it..."

"Apparently they're going to organize a meeting with your father for Thursday. That's still a few days away. You could-"

"I could _what?_" Ryou lifted his head slightly, his eyes red-rimmed and swollen. "Three days? Three bloody days? What can I do, manage to erase almost an entire year of failing grades? That can't... You don't understand." He shaded his eyes with one hand. "No matter how much I try, it's hopeless. I've missed so much... I can't understand a thing the teacher is saying. I'm just confused now." Ryou's breath shook. "No amount of help will do anything..."

"I'm so sorry." Yugi sighed gently. "I really am, Bakura. I-I just don't know what to say... I'll still try and help all I can... Everyone will." Ryou finally managed a weak smile. "See? It's all going to be okay."

"I-I wish that was true, Yugi." Ryou whispered softly. "But it's not... I know it's not." Ryou rolled over onto his side, staring at the wall. "Everything is messed up here. I've lost my one true love, Malik hates me, I don't have a house anymore, and now I'm failing school so badly I have to repeat the year..." He closed his eyes, fresh tears coursing down his cheeks. "You can't say that all of that isn't my fault."

"Well..." Yugi muttered thoughtfully, trying to come up with the right thing to say. _Bakura's right. He is sort of to blame for some of it, but he doesn't deserve it at all..._ "I mean, some of those things are the consequences for mistakes you've made, but you can't go blaming yourself totally. You don't deserve any of this at all."

"It's funny." Ryou murmured weakly, his voice cracking. "The more I think about it, the more it just feels like it's some sort of punishment for ever sleeping with Malik. Th-That's what it is, isn't it?"

"What?" Yugi gasped, blinking. "Oh, Bakura, no. It's not like that at all..." He gently rested a hand on the teenagers' shoulder. "Really."

"Really?" Ryou sobbed weakly, and buried his head in his pillow. "... But that's what it feels like."

* * *

Ohhh, what dramas XD XD XD

R&R? Please? Muahahhaha. yes, I beg.


	27. Chapter 27

Well hellooo!

It's an update! YEY!

I think XD

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck _FUCK!"_

Bakura screamed, punching at the wall. He threw his car keys on the kitchen counter, sinking into the couch with a low moan. After practically assaulting Sanami and her secretary, Bakura finally got his gas, and was able to drive his car. And drive he did. Rather than just come home, Bakura drove around the country that surrounded Domino for hours, with his stereo blasting heavy metal at top volume. It didn't calm him much. Bakura's mind was still whirling with everything that had happened. It just seemed so unreal, to think about everything that had happened.

He didn't want to admit to himself that there was till something there, that he still felt something for Ryou. He couldn't. He refused to believe that Ryou loved him. It just wasn't possible.

"Bloody hell." Bakura lifted his head after a long time, pressing his lips together. God, his head hurt. He felt like screaming. Like shouting, running around and screaming. Destroying something with a baseball bat. He just wanted to do something hurtful and destructive, so much.

And he really only had one option.

_When did it turn into a ritual?_ Bakura was confused as he wrenched open the kitchen drawer, grasping the handle of the sharpest knife. _I've been doing this practically every fucking night since..._

_Fuck_. Bakura gritted his teeth as the memory flashed before him. He pressed the blade against the inside of his wrist, and pressed down hard, dragging it across the skin. He gasped at the sensation, arching his neck and trembling. _Sado-masochist_. The word rang in Bakura's ears. Yeah, it was true. Bakura loved to hurt himself whenever he was angry, upset, or confused. Which was why he was doing it so much recently. It felt like all he had. Bakura hissed slightly, drawing in a sharp breath between gritted teeth as he pressed the knife in deeper, almost an inch.

"Hell." Bakura dropped the knife, where it clattered onto the counter-top, and leaned heavily against the blue tiles. He felt dizzy, oh so dizzy, and so fuzzy and woozy... _I've been doing this too much lately... _Bakura closed his eyes, shaking. He felt so... disjointed, fragmented, at that time. Ripped away from reality. His slow, debilitating blood loss was clearly taking its' toll.

Bakura was totally drained as he slid down onto the floor. Blood gushed freely from his wounds, all over his skin and clothes, splattering onto the floor. Bakura groaned, holding his head in his hands as he breathed slowly, laboriously. At this point, only one thought was running through his mind, as he sat slumped, gasping on the floor.

_I can't keep going on like this..._

* * *

"What?"

"Man, that's _totally_ unfair."

"I know." Yugi looked around at his friends sadly, before lowering his gaze down to his lunch tray. "Bakura's so depressed... He wanted to go to school today, but he was such a mess, Yami made him stay home."

"You sure that's a good idea?" Jounouchi's fork paused mid-journey to his mouth. "I thought that not going to school in the first place was what got him in this mess."

"It is." Yugi murmured. "But if he was at school now, he would just be a total mess. He'd probably be sent home again anyway."

"Suppose." Jounouchi mumbled. "But man... I always did shitty in school, but I was never told I was going to be sent back... I normally just got summer school or remedial classes or something."

"Bakura's beyond any of that, though." Yugi muttered. "You guys saw him in classes. God Jou, you were having to help him sometimes in Chemistry."

"Yeah. If he needed help from you, he must have been bad." Honda quipped, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, not cool man-" Jounouchi growled, but smiled, nonetheless. "I don't know... And his Dad is coming on Thursday?" Yugi nodded weakly, taking a bite of his food.

"And..." He swallowed. "The way Bakura talks about him, It's pretty clear they're not on good relations anymore. I hate to think how that meeting's going to go."

"Can his Dad contest it?" Anzu inquired, biting her lip. "I thought that the school needs his Dad's permission."

"He does." Yugi nodded. "But the letter basically said that if Ryou doesn't get held back, then he can't be accepted into any courses next year anyway."

"Oh man." Honda muttered. "Poor guy. No wonder he's been feeling like shit recently. His life really is going down the toilet."

"Sadly." Yugi murmured, staring down at his food. "I just... I wish I could do something, You know? I'm with him alot at nights, he's always so depressed... Yami and I have to practically force food down his throat, he's that reluctant to eat. It's so sad. I...It..." Yugi swallowed, his voice shaking. "It's really killing him." Four pairs of eyes stared down at their food silently.

"I just wish there was something we could do." Jounouchi mumbled, his hands shaking.

* * *

"Ugh. Morning."

Bakura looked back down from the clock, letting out a long sigh. 9AM. He'd been up all night, again, to turbulently emotional to sleep. "Fuck, this sucks..." The yami groaned, pushing himself into a sitting position, the blankets at his waist. He'd tried everything, from warm milk and cookies, to a hot bath, to listening to slow music, even meditation. Nothing was working. He was just too charged up, his mind too active to even consider sleep.

"Guess I should get up." He muttered to himself, pushing the blankets aside, and swinging his legs over to the floor. He stretched and yawned, despite himself, before catching a gaze in the mirror. _God I look like shit... What a surprise._ He prodded his pile of clothes, from last night, with his big toe, before bending down and picking them up. He lifted them to his nose, and after an experimental whiff, shrugged, and started pulling them on. He stared at his arms after he pulled the tee-shirt on, running his fingers lightly over the scars, both old and new, wincing. He scratched at his stomach, before shuffling into the kitchen like a zombie, rubbing at his eyes. He pulled open the pantry door, and closed it with a sigh. _I'm not even hungry_... He pressed his lips together, and headed back into his bedroom. He just needed something to do. He felt too sluggish and clumsy for stealing, his power was cut off two days ago (Which he planned to get reconnected that day), and he was _not_ in the mood for anything social.

Which left art.

Bakura wrenched open the drawer on his bedside table, grabbing at his sketchbook. A frown formed on his face, which deepened as he flicked through the pages. Finally, he found the first empty page, and settled down on the bed. He reached over, and into his bedside table. Bakura rifled around for his pencils, his scowl deepening. Finally, he found all six, his expression positively smouldering. They'd been worn down into blunt little stubs. Bakura swore, and slammed the pencils down, snarling.

_Fuck. I'll have to get more_. He sighed to himself, rubbing his forehead. Bakura slowly stood up, and closed the door behind himself. His leather jacket was slung over the couch, and he grabbed it, yanking his soft wallet out of the pocket and examining the contents. _Enough money. Good_. He shoved it back into his pocket, and ran out of the house, not bothering to lock the door behind him.

The car started without a hiccup, and Bakura smiled, just a little as he backed down the driveway. He turned into the road with a screech, pressing his foot on the accelerator as he zoomed up the street. It wasn't a long drive into town, but Bakura was so on edge, so amped up, despite his lack of sleep, that it seemed to take forever. He sped, of course, dodging around and between cars like a madman –He often drove as though it was an emergency. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, Bakura was able to pull over onto the side of the road, outside the shop were he usually got his art supplies. He slammed the door behind him, the pavement already warm underneath his bare feet as he crossed the narrow strip of sidewalk, pushing the front door open. A bell tinkled, somewhere.

Bakura sighed to himself as he made his way into the back of the store, where trays of pencils, of varying shades and brands, were located. He bit his lip as he scoured the assortment, looking for the particular six or seven that he used, when a voice behind made him jump.

"May I help you sir?" Bakura whirled around on his heel, blinking at the clerk. "Trouble finding something?"

"I'm fine." Bakura muttered, keeping his eyes averted. He knew he looked a mess. He was surprised, actually, that he was even approached in the first place. "I just want these."

"Are you sure you don't want anything else?" The clerk pressed. "We're having a sale on everything right now, you'll find some good bargains-"

"I'm _fine_." Bakura muttered through gritted teeth. He turned away from the clerk, frowning. He walked through one of the few small, low aisles, and despite himself, couldn't risk having a quick browse. He paused, however, when he walked past the large canvas', stretched over rectangular wooden frames. He raised an eyebrow, thinking. He'd never strayed away from sketching and drawing before...

_What the hell. Anything to get my mind off of... It._

* * *

_Bring bring!_

"I'll get it!" Yugi abandoned the game controller as he jumped up from the couch. Jounouchi let out a long groan, flopping back against the couch, the second controller gripped firmly in his hand. Yami smirked, and quickly grabbed at Yugi's abandoned controller. Yugi shook his head and laughed, before picking up the plastic receiver. "Hello?" He murmured politely. "Motou household, Yugi speaking."

"Hello, Yugi." The teenager's eyes widened at the voice of his principal. "May I speak to Bakura, please?"

"U-Um..." Yugi blinked, surprised that his principal was calling his house. "Yes. I'll just go get him, sir." He set the receiver down on the desk. Ryou, who was curled up in an armchair in pajama bottoms and an oversized sweatshirt, was watching the game with a blank look on his face. "Bakura?" The whitenette looked up, slightly spaced out. "It's for you."

"...Oh." He finally murmured, before slowly getting out of his chair, padding across the living room. Yugi watched as Ryou slowly picked up the phone with shaking hands. "Hello?" Jounouchi paused the game, and everyone in the room turned to face Ryou. "Oh... Yes?... O-Okay... U-Um, Yes... Now? ...Oh. Yes, Yes... Okay... Okay. I will. Thank you." Ryou's face was white as he set down the phone, his hands shaking.

"What's wrong?" Yugi inquired in concern for his friend. Ryou swallowed, letting out a long, long breath. "Bakura?"

"Th-The Principal..." Ryou bit his lip. "The meeting with my father... It's been pushed forward until tonight." Yugi's eyes widened. "At seven."

"But it's quarter to five now..." Jounouchi looked at his watch. "They didn't give ya much time..."

"I don't need time." Ryou's voice was hollow. "Dad must have wanted it earlier... He just wants to get it over with, I know..."

"It's gonna be okay, Bakura." Yugi tried to console his friend. "It'll all work out-"

"It _wont_." Ryou burst out. "They've already made up their minds, Yugi! They're making me repeat the year, and that's it." He rubbed at his eyes. "They just wanna finalize things, that's all." He shrugged weakly, turning away from everyone. "I...I should go and get dressed... I don't have to wear my uniform, but I can't turn up looking like _this_." He looked down at his clothes in disdain. Everyone was silent as Ryou left the room, closing the door behind him.

"Poor guy." Anzu murmured, looking down at her lap. "He's really down."

"No duh." Jounouchi muttered, looking up at the ceiling. "Jesus... Do they have any idea how much they're hurting Bakura, doing this?"

"I don't know." Yugi murmured gently, sinking onto the arm of the couch. "I think they do... I don't think they even care. Why would they? He's just another failing student to them. They think that personal problems can only go so far..." The five sat in deep, brooding silence, for quite a while.

"Someone has to go in there and talk to him." Yami finally spoke up. He set the controller down on the coffee table, and stood up, stretching a little. "Someone who knows a bit about what he's going through..."

"I'll go." Jounouchi muttered, standing up as well. "I've faced repeating a year before remember?" Honda tried to force down a smirk, but failed. Jounouchi sighed as he left the room, crossing the small hall and into Ryou's bedroom. He knocked on the door softly, and waited a second before entering the room. He stood in the doorway for a second, staring at Ryou. The teenager was sitting on the floor against the farthest wall, his legs drawn up to his chest, hands on his knees. He wore nothing but a button-down shirt and his boxers, jeans and trousers strewn about the bed and floor.

"What's going on?" Jounouchi blinked, closing the door behind himself softly. "Bakura, what's wrong?"

"... Nothing fits." Ryou finally mumbled, red-eyed and sniffing. The blonde frowned.

"What?" He tilted his head to one side. "Bakura... I don't get it. What do you mean?"

"My pants, Jou." Ryou stared off into space. "They're all way too big in the waist. They practically fall off me..."

"Oh, Bakura." Jounouchi wrinkled his nose, and winced. "It's okay. Look..." He crossed the little room, and squatted down to look the teenager in the eye. "I'm not surprised. You're really really skinny. You know that. Yugi tells me you barely eat anymore." Ryou shrugged listlessly, staring into space. "It..." The blonde sighed. "It'll be okay." He said gently. "I'll just go into Yugi's room and grab you a belt. God knows he has plenty. And if none of those fit, it's easy enough to make an extra notch... You're stressing over nothing, Bakura."

"I know..." Ryou finally breathed. "But I just... I-It's so..."

"I know." Jounouchi murmured, falling onto his rear. "I've been in your situation, Bakura." The whitenette finally looked up. "I've had people tell me that I'm going to be held back before. And it's pretty crummy, I can tell you." Ryou sniffed weakly.

"But... You're my age." He said softly. "You can't have been held back..."

"Well... It was only for a few months." Jounouchi bit his lip. "And then they thought I had a strong enough handle on the basics to get put back up. And who knows, maybe that's what'll happen to you." Ryou bit his lip, staring into Jounouchi's earnest coffee-coloured eyes. "Now come on." He stretched out a hand. "Don't be down about it, Bakura. It's not the end of the world. It's bit of a shock, I know, but you're gonna be fine." Ryou took his hand with trembling pale fingers. "Now let's get you into some pants, huh? It 'aint the worlds' greatest look."

Despite himself, Ryou managed a tiny smile.

* * *

_Knock knock_.

Bakura jumped. Luckily, his paintbrush wasn't on the canvas, so his... artwork wasn't ruined. He blinked, looking around himself as he was roughly knocked out of his odd, almost dreamlike state. He'd started painting almost as soon as he came home, and was surprised at how... _easy_ it was. Although he admittedly used no other colour than what he would sketching –save for red-, it just seemed so much more powerful, in a way. He'd been so wrapped up in painting, the hours flicked past like minutes. Bakura cast a gaze over to the clock, his eyes widening. It was past five.

"What the fuck do you want?" Bakura hollered, slamming his paintbrush down on the coffee table. He wiped his hands on his oversized, paint-flecked shirt as he crossed the room, and pulled the front door open. One of the very last people he expected to see stood on the threshold, smiling.

"... You." Bakura had forgotten his name. "You're uh..." He leaned against the doorway, extremely confused. "Why the _hell_ are you at my house?"

"Professor Igarashi." The man nodded. "It _has_ been a very long time, hasn't it?" Bakura narrowed his eyes, his hand tightening into fists.

"Why the hell are you here." Bakura repeated in a snarl, narrowing his eyes.

"Well, I understand that although you accepted the position at the Visual Arts college, you never attended. I rang up this house, thinking that you had simply changed your mind and neglected to tell us."

"I _hadn't._" Bakura growled. "I was in a fucking _coma_."

"I know." The man responded. "That boy Ryou told us. So I was calling the hospital every couple of weeks, just to check up." Bakura's eyes widened.

"What the _fuck?_" He shook his head violently. "You fucking _creep!_ Why the hell would you do that?"

"Because you're a damn fine artist." He responded shortly. "You were ten times better than any other applicant we had that semester, Bakura. With proper guidance and the opportunity to fine-tune your skills... God, do you have any idea how great you could become?"

"Do you have any idea how I don't _care?_" Bakura sneered. "It's just shit that I do when I get bored, or need an outlet, or something. It's not some sort of _career_."

"You've seen our facilities." Igarashi argued. "You know how good you could be." Bakura merely rolled his eyes, and looked away.

"I've been awake for almost a month." He muttered. "Why did you wait until now?"

"Because I wanted to give you a bit of time." He kept his voice calm. "I wasn't going to come rushing in the moment you discharged yourself from hospital."

"But I don't want to go to your fucking college!" Bakura protested.

"You wanted to last year-"

"Things change!" Bakura crossed his arms, glaring at the professor. "They've changed a lot since least year! I don't want to go!"

"Bakura, you have real talent!" He protested. "You can't just waste it! Do you understand how lucky you were to be given in a place in the first place? And to have it held for as long as it has? It's unheard of. Don't waste it."

"Who the fuck do you think you are, telling me what to do?" Bakura growled. "I'm not going to waste my time at a fucking _school,_ old man."

"Listen to me!" Igarashi sighed deeply. "You wont, I swear. You'll only be there for a couple of hours or so a day. And you'll be enjoying it, I promise."

"... No." Bakura growled. "Go away and piss off! I'm busy." He turned on his heel.

"Busy doing what?" Igarashi eyed Bakura's paint-flecked shirt. "I thought you only did sketches..."

"Like I said." Bakura snarled. "Things change." He went to close the door, but the professor quickly jammed his foot in the doorway. "What the fuck?"

"Please, you have to consider this, Bakura, I-"

"_No!_" Bakura lost it, turning on the man. "I don't want your fucking opportunities! I don't want your freaking help! Why the hell do people want to help me? I don't need it!" He stomped back into the house, forgetting to slam the door behind him. Igarashi bit his lip, and against his better judgement, followed, wanting to see what it was that Bakura was painting. Bakura crossed his arms and groaned as he entered the lounge, knowing that the college professor was behind him. "Do you _mind?_"

"Bakura, this is amazing." He stared at the piece of art on the canvas, his eyes wide. "Did you do this?"

"It's not finished." Bakura muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I only started it this afternoon."

"It's amazing..." Bakura frowned as the man walked past him, examining the painting up close. "God Bakura, what's going on in your head?"

"I don't know." Bakura smirked. "You should see what I did to my therapist." Igarashi whipped his head around, staring wide-eyed at the yami. "I didn't kill her." He rolled his eyes. "Just made sure she'll stop thinking she knows me."

"But what is it..." The man muttered, frowning. "What on earth inspired... This?"

"It's a... He paused, before smirking again. "It's a self-portrait." The professor froze.

"But this is..."

"Fucked up?" Bakura's smirk grew. "Demonic? Utterly screwy? I know."

"It's chilling..." He blinked. "A coma doesn't mess someone up this bad..."

"Having your _fiancée_ fucking _cheat_ on you when you're in a coma fucks you up." Bakura snarle, clenching his hands into fists. "Are you done?"

"... Okay." The man finally backed down. "Bakura, September is a long way away. Please, think about it and call the college. Your name is on the list of next years intakes. I want to see it stay there." Bakura was silent, looking down at the floor as his heart thudded in his chest. "Okay. I'll go now." Bakura stayed silent as the man left the house, closing the door softly behind him. He was still for almost ten minutes, before the gradual darkness in the room grew too unsettling, and he walked over to the wall, flicking the light switch.

He stared at his painting, his face utterly impassive. _God, it is a self-portrait_. Bakura had just poured his emotions out onto the canvas, mixing the white and black and red, distorting the shading around the outside, blending and blurring the lines, which gradually grew sharper and sharper into the middle. He sighed deeply, rubbing at his eyes. Bakura swallowed as he picked up one of the finer brushes, dipping it just lightly into the black, before attacking his self-portrait again.

_I'm not going to be able to stop until I finish it._ He wrinkled his nose.

* * *

"Here you go, Bakura." The brunette smiled weakly, looking over at Ryou. The male nodded, looking sick as he finally opened the car door, stepping out of the warm interior. The night air was cold, and Ryou shivered, wrapping his arms around himself.

"When is this cold going to let up..." He muttered, trembling. "I'll call you when I need a ride back, is that that okay?"

"Sure." Anzu managed another smile before starting up the car again. "Good luck, Bakura. We're all rooting for ya."

"Thanks..." Ryou breathed softly. "That means a lot to me, Anzu." He closed the car door, gently, and turned away, heading across the school parking lot. The front door was unlocked, the handle turning in his bony hands. The walk to the principals' office was technically short, but to the teenager, it felt like forever. Ryou's heart thudded faster and harder as he walked, and he was sick with fear and trepidation. He was getting held back a year. Kicked out of all of his classes, forced into all new rooms with new teachers and new students...

"Oh God." Ryou whimpered, leaning against the wall. He felt sicker than ever. "I can't do this... I can't go through with this... I-I can't..." He held his hands over his face, trying so hard not to cry. It was so humiliating, just thinking about having to go back all over again next year... _I'm going to be the laughing stock of the school for weeks, I just know it_...

Ryou sniffed, rubbing at his eyes as he slowly pushed himself off the wall. _Okay. I have to calm down. It's gonna be okay, really. I'll be fine. It's just a little meeting. And it's going to all be for the better in the end..._

_Who am I kidding?_ Ryou held his head in his hands. _This is just awful. On top of everything else, school has hit rock bottom too... I can't take much more of this_. Slowly, the teenager started to walk again, his fingertips trailing along the wall. The trip to the principals office seemed all too short for Ryou, who was there in less than five minutes. He pushed open the door to the reception room with a thudding heart, the sick feeling in his stomach increasing.

"Hello, Bakura." The woman smiled warmly behind her desk. Ryou shot her a weak smile, before stepping into the room, closing the door behind himself. He made to sit down in a seat, when a tall, very still figure staring at him with wide eyes caught his gaze.

His father.

Ryou swallowed deeply, his breath shaking in his throat as he slowly sank into the closest chair he could find. The man held a hand over his mouth as he stared at his son, tears welling in his eyes. He looked _awful_. Bone-thin, with lank, lifeless hair and a worn, beaten down expression on his face. _How can this be my son? _He thought desperately. _What's happened to him?_ Ryou bowed his head, staring down at his knees, feeling his fathers eyes on him. _Oh, I just want him to look away... Oh, I don't want to do this. I haven't even laid eyes on my father in over a year... I'm not ready for this. I-I just don't know what to say to him... _

"Hello." Both father and son jumped as the door to the principals office opened. "Vlad to see you're finally here, Bakura. Let's come in, shall we?"

_Do I have a choice?_ Ryou inwardly sighted as he slowly, shakily stood up, smoothing out his shirt as he stepped into the principals office. He didn't look at his father. He couldn't.

"Now, Bakura." Ryou bit his lip as the principal settled his eyes on him. "You understand why I have called this meeting, don't you?"

"...Yeah." Ryou finally murmured, chewing on his lower lip. "Because I'm not doing so well-"

"Not doing so well?" The principal repeated, somewhat incredulous. "Bakura, you're failing every single class. You have been for weeks... Months, even." Ryou shot a glance at his father, who was sitting stiff and still in his chair, silent.

"I-I know..." Ryou sniffed. "But I told you why, I-I-"

"You have." The principal nodded. "And how many times have we suggested that you go to the school counsellor? Or one of the lunchtime sessions she has on grief-"

"Because I know that's not going to do any good." Ryou broke in, trying so hard to keep a wobble out of his voice. "I-I don't want counselling, sir. I want..."

"What?" The principal rested his chin on his fingertips. "Enlighten me." Ryou pressed his lips together, looking down.

"I don't know." He finally murmured, blinking back tears. "But holding me back... I-It's not right... You _can't._"

"Bakura, we've got no other options. Would you rather you were expelled?" Ryou's eyes widened, and he shook his head, swallowing. "No. So therefore, being held back is your only choice." Ryou sniffed, and he rubbed at his eyes. "I'm sorry, but there's nothing else to do. We'll start you in your new classes on Monday, and when-"

"What?" Ryou sat up straight, eyes wide in horror. "What do you mean, new classes on Monday? I-I thought I was repeating the year next year, not..." He trailed off, staring down at his knees, sicker than ever, his stomach churning with horror.

"Bakura, there's still over a month before the school year finishes. We feel it would be best for you to refresh yourself on last years courses, and get a better grip on everything-"

"I was an honour roll student last year!" Ryou stood up, clenching his hands into fists. "You can't say that I did badly at all! Why do I have to retake it?"

"Bakura, please calm down-"

"No!" Ryou cracked, shaking his head desperately. "I'm not! I can't believe you're doing this! I-I don't deserve to be forced back into classes that I was getting A grades for last year!"

"Mr. Bakura, please..." The principal muttered through clenched teeth. Ryou's father nodded wordlessly, standing up. Ryou stood before the principals desk, tears streaming down his face.

"H-How can you just sit there and _say_ this?" Ryou cried. "Y-You can't send me back so quick, I – don't _touch _me!" Mr. Bakura had placed two hands on Ryou's shoulder, and jumped back in alarm.

"Bakura, please." The principal slowly stood up. "I know you're still shaken up after Monday, but there's no reason to act like that to your father-"

"I-I can act how I want." Ryou's tone was considerably softer as he loosely wrapped his arms around his middle. "I-I can't... I..."

"What happened on Monday?" Ryou's father spoke for the first time. "What am I missing?" The principal frowned, and Ryou's shoulders slumped weakly.

"You didn't tell him?" He was incredulous. Ryou sniffed, pressing his lips together and shaking his head.

"Tell me what?" Mr. Bakura demanded. "What am I missing?" Ryou let out a long, shuddering sigh as he sank back down in his chair, closing his eyes.

"Ryou was sexually abused Monday night." The principal stared at the slim, shaking teenager. Mr. Bakura's head whipped around, and he stared at Ryou, eyes wide.

"Oh God..." He slowly sank back into his chair, his eyes locked on his son. "Oh God _Ryou_." He held a hand over his mouth, which was shaking.

"I-It's not that bad..." Ryou finally whispered, trying not to sob. "N-Nothing actually h-happened, S-Someone came in time..." He swallowed, sniffing.

"Oh, that doesn't... Oh God." Mr. Bakura was in shock. "How... _Why?_" Ryou slowly lifted his head.

"Why?" Ryou stared his father in the eyes. "Dad, _look _at me." He closed his eyes, letting out a long sigh to try and steady his breath. "I... I wanna go." Ryou mumbled, shifting his gaze to his knees. Mr. Bakura sat stock still, his heart thudding like a drum. All he could think about was his son. _Christ... I don't understand this... How could someone do this to him?_

"... Very well." The man finally conceded. "You just need to sign this consent form Bakura, and you're ready to go." Ryou swallowed, and nodded, shuffling in his chair. He was silent as the principal slapped the form down on the table, along with a pen. Ryou stood up to sign the form, scrawling his name on the form, before dropping the pen, turning, and practically running out of the room. He slammed the door behind himself, panting and gasping for air as he ran through the halls and corridors. Finally, he couldn't keep running. Ryou's hands were on the wall as he slowly sank to his knees, gasping and sobbing. He couldn't believe it. They were kicking him back on _Monday_. How was he going to face it all? The stares and whispers and gossip and rumors... _I can't... I can't go this. I-I can't. I can't go through that embarrassment..._

And his father was there... His father was there and he knew. _Is he angry at me? I don't know. Of course he's angry at me. Look at everything he's done. But the way he reacted when he round out about Monday... Maybe he cares. I know he cares, he's still my Dad. But does he still love me?_ Tears streamed down Ryou's face as he leaned against the lockers, the linoleum cold underneath his knees. He was so confused and mixed-up and upset and _angry_. _I have to go. Now. Before they find me._

Wincing in discomfort as he straightened up, Ryou slowly, shakily started to walk down the long narrow hallway, his fingers trailing along the metal locker faces.

* * *

Waaaahhh XD XD XD

R&R! You damn better -.-

Haha jokes.

But really.

R&R!


	28. Chapter 28

Oohhh yeah. Updateness man! Long chapter, too XD

Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING HAHAHAHA!!!

* * *

Bakura bit his lip as he slowly blended in the colours, the white and pink, and just the slightest of yellow, to gain a porcelain, pale hue. For skin. The yami stared down at his own hand, for comparison, before adding a little more white. He really didn't want much colour in it all. He wanted it to look... Deathly.

_Maybe a little of the light grey..._ Bakura stared as he gathered just a little of the grey onto the end of his brush, mixing it in slowly, meticulously. As he hoped, the skin tone took on a dead, lifeless hue. _Perfect_. He smirked, raising his gaze to his painting. He lifted his brush to the painting, and was about to take the first stroke, add a little 'colour' into the central figure, when he sneezes. The brush jerked in his hand, smearing a little across the canvas.

Bakura's heart stopped. His eyes widened, and he leaned in closer to examine the damage. It was in the lower corner, not insignificant, but it didn't ruin the painting. _It's okay._ Bakura tried to not be angry as he stared at the little smudge. _After all, I can turn it into something._ He gathered more paint on his brush, and quickly dragged a diagonal line, short, across the canvas. His teeth gritted, he repeated the action, before starting on the angular curves and details. He worked so hard, his attention to detail and meticulous skill turning small, accidental feature of the painting into something so _realistic._ On an impulse, he added a little more pink, just a smidge, to his tray, with the deathly white skin, and ran over what he had just done. The effect was immediate. It just held so much more _life_, in that bottom corner. As usual, Bakura was completely lost in his artwork as he painted, ignoring his aching back and the crick in his neck. It just didn't matter as he worked, his tongue between his teeth.

Finally, Bakura stepped back, blinking as he stared what he had just drawn. It was a hand. Slim, bony even, and pale, it looked like a photograph. Bakura bit his lip, staring at the slender hand, long fingers stretched out in an imploring gesture of hope. There was a huge diamond ring set in a platinum band on the fourth finger. Bakura took a step back, his eyes widening in realisation at what he had unintentionally done.

He'd drawn Ryou's hand in his self-portrait.

The brush slipped from Bakura's fingers, clacking against the floor. His little plastic tray where he mixed his colours followed suit, black, grey, white, red, and yellow spilling over the carpet. _Fuck!_ Bakura held his hands over his mouth, screwing his eyes shut tight. _You were supposed to be trying to forget about him, not including him in your fucking painting!_ Bakura moaned, the sound muffled. He slowly sank to his knees.

_You put him in because he's such a big part of you. It's your subconscious trying to tell you to forgive him and let him back in your life-_

_**SHUT UP!**_Bakura shook his head wildly, gasping for air. _Not true not true not true! That is not fucking true!_ He slowly lifted his head, starting to hyperventilate as the thoughts all whirled around in his head, like some kind of crazy tornado. _It's not true! Look at it in relation to the painting. It's... He's not... I don't want..._

_Oh __**fuck**_ Bakura shakily stood up, doubling over for a moment with his hands on his knees. The yami closed his eyes again, just for a second, before straightening his back and half-walking, half-running into the kitchen. His hands quivered as he wrenched open the kitchen drawer, half-clean steak knives, fruit knives, and butcher's knives staring up at him.

_Why the hell are you doing this? _Bakura tried to block out the saner part of himself as he rolled up his shirt sleeves, staring down at his arms. _Why do you ever do it?_

_I don't know._ Bakura gritted his teeth as he picked up the longest, sharpest-looking knife, pressing it against his skin. The metal was cool to the touch, and it seemed to calm Bakura, just a little. _I don't fucking __**know**_. The yami arched his neck and gasped as he ran the sharp blade over an old wound, bringing hot, red blood to the surface. He stared down at his arm, the shaking spreading to his arms and legs.

_Because you can handle physical pain._ The annoying voice almost lilted in a teasing sing-song. _But you can't handle emotional pain at all. Ryou fucking hurt you, and this is your way of dealing with it. Bringing about a different sort of pain. You can't do it forever._

"... Can so." Bakura muttered, leaning against the kitchen counter. He felt short of breath, and everything spun. He was so weak...

_Is that why you're about to pass out?_ His so-called 'conscience' sounded smug.

"Not." Bakura growled, his eyes half-lidded. He stared blearily down at the knife, down at his bleeding arm, and closed his eyes, pressing his lips together tightly.

_No?_

"Shut up." Bakura's legs folded like paper beneath him, and he sank to the linoleum, leaning heavily against the wooden doors of the counter, moaning weakly. He was sleepy, so sleepy...

_You keep doing this to yourself, you're gonna lose this body._ It warned. _Be stuck in that fucking ring all over again. Until Ryou takes the ring again, and you share a form with him again... Being attached to him, day and night, being closer than lovers with him... _

"Ugh." Bakura's insides curled in disgust. "I'd destroy his soul..."

_The Pharaoh would kill you. Kill us. I didn't realise that was what you wanted._

"'s not." Bakura mumbled, his eyes now closed as the knife slipped from his fingers. "Never..."

_Then stop slashing your wrists everytime you think about Ryou._ It was the last voice Bakura heard before he pitched over, onto the linoleum, slumped against the vinyl flooring as a slow pool of blood steadily eeked out around him. Bakura was unconscious within seconds, lying face down in a spreading pool of his own blood.

And he wasn't even at rock bottom yet.

* * *

"Hey, they're home." Yugi noted as Anzu's car pulled up beside the Game shop, looking up from his homework. "That didn't take too long."

"That's not good." Jounouchi muttered, biting his lip, twirling his pen between his fingers. "Man, I hope Bakura's okay."

"Yeah." Yami agreed, sprawled out in an arm chair. The three heard the front door open, and a few second later, Ryou entered the lounge, silent and red-eyed.

"Hey..." Yugi bit his lip, as his eyes widened in alarm. "Bakura, what's wrong?" He stood up, shifting his gaze to Anzu. The brunette behind Ryou shrugged, her face clearly concerned.

"They..." Ryou choked down a sob, and slowly sank into the soft couch cushions. "I... I can't believe they're doing this... I-I'm sure they can't..."

"Do what?" Yugi frowned. "Making you repeat the year?"

"...Worse." Ryou finally breathed. He rose his face, staring up into Yugi's concerned face. "They... They're sending me back a year on Monday."

"_What?_" Jounouchi's eyes widened. "Bakura, they can't do that!"

"I know!" Ryou burst out, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks. "W-Why are they doing this..."

"Didn't you get straight A's last year?" Anzu was shocked. "You did! I remember that. You got top of the year in like, five subjects. Why do you have to repeat it?"

"Because the principals an asshole." Jounouchi muttered, clenching his hands into fists.

"Jou!" Yugi reproved, frowning. "Don't say that!"

"What, he is!" The blonde argued. "Look what he's doing to Bakura. It's totally unfair. He knows everything that's happened to you, Bakura. You should be getting excused and compassionate leave by the truckload. Especially after Monday night." Ryou shrugged hopelessly, holding his head in his hands.

"I know I've done bad..." Ryou murmured. "But I-I just can't believe they're sending me back on Monday like this... All these new classes, all new people... I-I can't do it... I really can't, guys. Not on top of everything else..."

"Hey, it's going to be okay." Yugi said consolingly, forcing a tiny smile. "We're all going to be here for you, Bakura. You know that."

"I-I know." Ryou finally choked out. "But... C-Can you help me in my classes? I get hassled enough as it is... What is everyone going to say when find out I'm being held back?" The other four stared, realising Ryou's worst fear.

"Bakura... When did you start caring about what other people think?" Yugi asked.

"I-I always have..." Ryou sniffed. "It... It just hurts, all the time. Whenever I get bullied or teased... And I know that... When those bullies made fun of me, it was only because they were jealous. I-I mean, I had their own girlfriends asking me out." Ryou couldn't hold back a tiny smile. "And that was a big confidence booster, knowing that I was liked and that it was only jealous morons who made fun of me. But I don't even have that anymore. No one really likes me."

"Bakura, please don't be down about this." Anzu begged. "You've got friends who really care about you, and are going to help you through this. What more could you want?"

"I-I want _Bakura._" Ryou moaned into his hands, his shoulders shaking as the tears exploded, and he collapsed into sobs. It was a stupid, childish vain hope, Ryou knew, but he just couldn't _help _it. All he wanted was the pair of soft, familiar arms to fall into, hear that low voice in his ear mumble that everything was going to be all right...

"I-I'm going to bed." Ryou stuttered, after only allowing himself a few moments to break down. Shakily, he stood up, wiping at his eyes and cheeks. "Thanks for the help guys... I really do appreciate it." He turned away from them all, his hand lingering on the back of the sofa as he slowly started to walk out of the room.

"Bakura..." Yugi muttered weakly, biting his lips. "Please don't be upset..." Ryou froze in the doorway, before turning to stare at the shorter teen.

"Then how am I supposed to feel." Ryou managed to keep his voice flat and emotionless. "You tell me."

"I... I don't know." Yugi mumbled, lowering his gaze to the carpet. "But you're acting like it's the end of the world... It's not, Bakura." Ryou merely pressed his lips together, very tightly, his hand clenching on the doorway.

"I-I don't expect you to understand, Yugi." He muttered gently, swallowing. "You don't know what it's like to have nothing. I don't have family, I-I don't have a best friend or a lover anymore, I don't have a place of my own... I know school was messing up, but it still felt like one last place where I wasn't a complete failure. But I screwed it up. J-Just like everything else..." Ryou drew in a deep, long breath. "I'm going to bed." He turned abruptly, and walked down the hallway, into his room. He slowly sank down onto his bed, holding his head in his hands as he cried, for a long, long time.

* * *

_Ugh._

Bakura groaned as he was roughly lifted from a fitful sleep. His forehead was resting on the linoleum, which was still wet with blood. The yami groaned again, momentarily forgetting where he was. It was the sharp sting of his arms that brought him down to earth with a thud.

_Oh. That's right._ Bakura sighed deeply, raising his head. He stared down at the crimson puddle of blood for a few moments, before slowly, wearily sitting up. He stared down at his arm, the long, fresh wound, red and angry looking. The yami rubbed at it, wincing, before looking around himself, his eyes settling on the pool of blood and the long, sharp knife. _Hell_. Bakura looked down at himself, his baggy paint stained shirt almost drenched in places. _Why the hell did I do that..._ Bakura bit his lip, remembering. _Oh yeah._

_You can't keep doing this._ His conscience piped up. _You passed out, you fucking idiot. Find another outlet for this_.

"I did." Bakura muttered aloud. After a seemingly endless three minutes, he summoned the strength to slowly stand up, leaning heavily on the kitchen counter. The yami panted, softly, as he started to walk out of the kitchen and into the lounge, staring at the painting in his blood-drenched shirt. It was well on the way to completion, the fact giving Bakura some satisfaction. He bit back a smile, keeping his lips slack, before looking down at himself once more. Blood was all over his arms, even in his hair... He ran his fingers through the white locks, wincing as his bony white digits snagged at a tangle. Dried blood came away in his hands, and Bakura made a face._ I need to clean up_. He sighed, turning away from his painting, and walking towards the bathroom.

Being covered in blood was fun, but it wasn't when it was your own.

* * *

It was late morning when Ryou finally woke up.

The whitenette groaned, rubbing at his eyes as he slowly rolled over in bed. Sunbeams hit his face, and he shaded the bright light with his hand. Ryou slowly opened his eyes, and bit his lip, staring blankly up at the ceiling. Ryou whimpered, closing them again, and burying his face in the pillow. He just felt so miserable and depressed...

"Bakura?" Ryou jumped at the knock on the door, sitting up in reflex. Yami poked his head in the door concernedly, his face breaking in relief as he saw Ryou was awake. "Oh, you're up."

"... Barely." He mumbled weakly, his mouth fuzzy with sleep. He rubbed at his eyes weakly. "Wh-What's going on?"

"Nothing." Yami smiled weakly. "I was checking to see if you're okay. Want a coffee or something? Toast?"

"... Not right now." Ryou yawned, his hair rumpled. "What's the time?" Yami shrugged, ducking out of the room to glance at the hallway clock.

"It's almost eleven." Yami reported, staring at the whitenette. Ryou's chocolate eyes widened.

"B... But I was asleep by nine..." Ryou mumbled, staring down at his hands. "How could I sleep fourteen hours?"

"Ryou." Yami sighed. "When was the last time you slept more than five or six hours straight?" Ryou shrugged weakly.

"Long time ago..." He breathed. "Weeks..."

"Exactly." Yami muttered. "I'm not a doctor, but even I know that's not healthy. It's probably the reason you were feeling so bad, Bakura." Ryou shrugged again, listlessly, flopping back down against the pillows. "You okay?"

"Not really." Ryou responded truthfully, feeling a little more quick, a little less sluggish. "I..."

"I know you feel bad." Yami murmured sympathetically. "But it's probably better to just not think about it. Keep yourself occupied, and stuff. Come watch some TV, you might feel a bit better. I think some talk show is on. Now those people have problems..." Ryou smiled, very weakly, and shook his head.

"U-Um, no thank you." He murmured politely. "I-I'm still tired... I think I might go back to sleep." Yami regarded him with surprise.

"Really?" Ryou nodded, pulling the blankets up to his chin. "Oh... Okay then." He was confused as he pulled the door shut, leaving the frail whitenette alone in the room, shaken and scared.

Ryou rolled over onto his stomach, and cried.

* * *

It was about three O'clock when Bakura finally finished his painting.

He lowered his brush, blowing silvery bangs out of his eyes as he stepped back, admiring his work. His arm was numb, from holding it up for so long, but he ignored it, staring at the painting, taking in every detail. _Woa._ It was so unlike sketching, where you were only given the little rectangular piece of paper. The canvas was so much... Bigger. But if you made mistakes, you couldn't rub them out. Bakura learned that the hard way.

The yami sighed, deeply, throwing his brush and paint tray carelessly to the floor. He was exhausted, physically and mentally, and wanted nothing more than to lie down and _sleep_. But of course, his mind just wouldn't allow it.

_What the hell does it mean?_ Bakura didn't even know himself. He stared at the figure in the middle, the sinuous, dark tendrils grasping and stretching at the bottom of the portrait, and Ryou's slim, ringed hand, pleading, desperate...

_It shows you still care about him._ Bakura closed his eyes, groaning. _You literally hold his life in your hands. It's what you wanted, isn't it? It's what you always wanted. Total control of Ryou, mind body and spirit. It's the entire reason you broke out of your cycle with the kid so long ago. To claim he was truly yours. And you have it. The kid would kill himself if it was your will. You got exactly what you wanted. And you're not happy._

"Of course I'm not fucking happy!" Bakura shouted. "When did you pop up? When the fuck did I get a _conscience?_"

_You always did. Did you forget that you hit your head really really hard? And got bad brain damage? You've heard the phrase 'all in your head' before, I know you have._

"Oh shut up." Bakura muttered, opening his eyes, and tearing his gaze away from the painting. "You're so not real."

_Yeah I am. I'm that little subconscious part of you that knows what you really really want. And I know you want to be with Ryou-_

"I _don't_!" Bakura screamed senselessly. "Shut up shut up shut up shut up _shut the fuck up!"_ He held his head in his hands. "God, I've lost it. I've fucking lost it." He let out a long moan, slowly lifting his head. "Bloody hell."

_Yep. Isn't it fun?_

"No, it's not _fun!_" Bakura turned on his heel, snarling. "This is- Why the hell am I talking to you?" The yami rolled his eyes. _I'm not being rational. It's just a stupid voice in my head. I've always head it. I'm just letting myself give it human characteristics, and that's not rational behaviour... Christ, I __**have**__ been listening to Sanami after all..._ He shook his head. _I just need everything to shut up._

_Don't you __**dare**_

Bakura swallowed, padding almost calmly into the kitchen and pulling open that familiar draw, staring down at his knives. _You fucking idiot! What the hell is this going to prove?_

_I don't have to prove anything._ Bakura grabbed at a black plastic knife handle, staring down at his bare, scarred arms. _I have no one to prove anything to. I just need..._

_You've turned into a masochist. _Bakura slammed the kitchen drawer shut with snarl.

_Since when was I not_? Bakura smirked, walking back into the lounge. He just _so_ wanted to spill his blood over the carpets, watch the soft creamy-coloured wool shrink away and stain at the onslaught of crimson...

_You used to cut for blood and control, more than pain. Now it's like you have some disgusting fetish for making yourself hurt. You're sick_.

_What a genius. I'm a sick freak. Wow, I've never known that before!_ Bakura rolled his eyes as he drew the blade across his arm, arching his back and gritting his teeth. _Fuck_...

_Hurts?_

"That is the point yes," Bakura muttered aloud, snarling. He ran the blade across his arm again, almost parallel to the first cut, gasping. "Shit." He didn't give up, though, still slicing his arm open. A sick, animalistic desire came over him, raw and... lustful, almost. Bakura wanted more pain, more blood. He _needed_ more. He cut himself again, growling. After doing it for so long, it... It just didn't hurt anymore. And there wasn't blood like there used to be. It was disappointing.

He'd run out. Bakura stared down at his other arm, which was just as scarred as the first. It was true. He was just tearing through already slashed skin, which was healing... It felt... stale. Like a heroin user who had run out of veins in his arms. _FUCK!_ Bakura momentarily closed his eyes, his initial euphoria deflating in his chest. He remained still for a few moments, as his arm bled sluggishly, the pain dull, slowly subsiding. _Well that's that then_.

"Not true." Bakura muttered around, and his eyes snapped open. A smirk formed on his face as he stared down at his arm, his heartrate quickening. "Oh yeah..." He carefully stretched his arm out, a few splatters of blood dripping on the carpet, and held the knife over his head. He actually licked his lips in nerves, his heart thudding in his chest. "Okay." He inhaled deeply, drawing in a long, long breath, slightly arching his neck and closing his eyes as he brought the knife down into his arm, slamming it home with considerable force. For a moment, Bakura felt nothing. Then, it started to hurt.

"_HOLY FUCK!"_ Bakura sank to his knees, eyes widening. "Oh _God_." He gasped, eyes wide. He stared down at his arm, where the knife had gone through to the other side, a tip of blood-coated metal. Weakly, the yami grabbed at the knife again, yanking it roughly out of his arm with a sickening sound. He hissed in fresh pain as the knife was pulled out of his arm, and dropped it to the floor. Bakura moaned softly, half-lidded eyes examining the knife wound. Blood gushed, out of the wound and over his arm, looking on the floor. Bakura smiled in satisfaction as he stared down at his arm, in too much pain to even move. It was so great. He closed his eyes, arching his neck slightly as he relished in the sensation of warm blood trickling from his arm, the horrible agony that spread from his forearm up his shoulder. He hadn't felt pain like that since... He hadn't felt pain like that in a long, long time...

Finally, Bakura felt like he could move. He slowly lifted his arm up, to eye level, staring in fascination as thick, warm blood still flowed steadily from his arm. After a few moments, he slowly brought the skin to his lips, his eyes half-lidded. _Ohhh,_ that tasted so good. His own blood was never as sweet as... anyone else's (The name Ryou refused to pop in his head). He drank from his arm deeply, actually sliding his tongue inside the deep wound in an attempt to extract more blood. It just sent him wild, the deep, bizarre need to taste blood and feel pain.

_Bring bring!_ Bakura jumped. The knife clattered to the floor, and he stared at the telephone, shaking. Slowly, he started to crawl across the carpet, reaching for the phone. He didn't trust his legs enough to walk, not at this point as the familiar sense of fatigue started to swamp him.

"What." His voice was hoarse, shaky as he snarled down the line, sinking to his rear on the carpet. He heard a gasp at the other end, soft and shocked.

"Uh... Hi." Bakura froze at the voice down the other end of the line. He clenched the phone tighter, fighting the urge to throw it into the wall. "It's me."

"I _know_ it's you." Bakura growled, the anger evident in his voice. "What the fuck do you want, Malik?" The Egyptian was trembling down the other end, distraught at the tired, sick tone in Bakura's voice that he tried to cover up.

"I... I just wanted to call you." Malik murmured weakly. "Just to see how you were doing-"

"Oh, I'm doing _great!"_ Bakura lost control and shouted down the phone. "Everything is fantastic, Malik! Couldn't you tell?"

"Bakura-"

"Of course I'm not okay!" Bakura screamed. "You fucked up my life, Malik!" The Egyptian bristled.

"I did _not-"_

"Yes you _did!"_ Bakura shouted even louder, his heart thudding in his chest. "I lost Ryou because of you!" His heart started aching, twisting and churning in his chest. "This is all your fucking fault! This whole entire mess is your fucking fault!"

"What?" Malik was outraged. "This is not my fault, Bakura! How is it?"

"You pushed Ryou into sleeping with you!" Bakura had fully lost it- He was now shouting senselessly down the phone line. "If it weren't for you, Ryou would still be here!"

"Bakura-"

"Shut the _fuck_ up and listen to me!" Bakura yelled, his hands shaking. "You have no idea what you did, Malik!" His tone was softer now, as his bout of anger drained him of his energy. "You fucked everything up." His voice, although harsh and venomous showed his obvious exhaustion.

"Bakura, I didn't!" Malik pleaded. "I just wanted to make Ryou happy. You were practically dead! He was so miserable... I didn't know what else to do."

"Do you decided to sleep with him and make him as guilty as hell?" Bakura snarled. "Fucking _smart,_ Malik!" The anger that he had been harbouring towards Malik all spilled out in one burst. "Goddamn, do you have any idea what you've done to the both of us?"

"Bakura, stop this!" Malik was genuinely concerned at Bakura's tone. "God, you sound sick. What's wrong?"

"That's not your fucking business." Bakura muttered evenly, staring down at his arm. Blood dripped from the stab wound, down the inside of his forearm, and trickled to the floor from his fingertips. "Just _piss off."_

"No." Malik protested, worried. "I'm not..." He ran a hand through his hair. "Bakura, please, calm down about this..."

"_Fuck off!"_ Bakura screamed hoarsely into the phone, swaying as his vision started to blur. His arm hurt worse than ever, he was shaking, and so tired... "Leave me alone, Malik." He spat, eyes only half open. "D-Don't talk to me..."

"Bakura!" Malik panicked. "Bakura, what did you do to yourself?" He started to hyperventilate. "Bakura please..." He gasped as the phone _clunked_, dropped to the floor. It had slipped from Bakura's long, shaking fingers, as he sank to the bloodstained carpet, barely conscious. "Bakura! Answer me!" Malik's voice, tiny and tinny, rang in Bakura's ears, but he barely noticed, slowly giving into the sweet haze of unconsciousness. Malik continued to scream down the phone, terrified.

"Bakura, please answer me!" Bakura didn't even know Malik was there as he lay slumped into the carpet, passed out.

* * *

Ryou had hit a new low.

Literally.

The teenager sniffed, his knees on the carpet and head in his hands, after trying to crawl out of bed, and getting tangled up in his sheets. Ryou rubbed at his eyes, sobbing weakly. He felt like he hadn't stopped crying in hours. He was so miserable and upset and depressed...

_I've got no one to love, my father hates me more than ever, I have no house, and now School is just a total mess..._ The thought just kept running around in Ryou's head, in a continuous loop. He didn't know what to do with himself, kneeled on the floor with his head in his hands. He couldn't go back to bed and cry his eyes out, not again, despite the fact it was all he wanted to do.

_Maybe I should try and eat something..._ Ryou sniffed, rubbing at his eyes. _I haven't in days..._ But he just couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to eat anything. He just didn't have the energy. _I probably can't even stand up_... Ryou sighed to himself, before slowly lifting his head from his hands. He pressed his palms against the bedside table, slowly, shakily hoisting himself into a standing position. Surprisingly, Ryou's legs held, and he slowly started to walk out of the room, going where, he didn't know. He didn't really like Yugi's house. Sure, it was tidy, and organized, but it had this strange sense of... Family, and caring. Ryou wasn't used to it. His own house (Before things fell apart) practically smelled of romance and sex, to be frank. Malik often commented that he could cut the lust in any room of the house with a knife. Ryou was never exactly comfortable with the house he stayed in. The other four inhabitants were so comfortable and close with each other, it made Ryou jealous. Jealous of the family that he hadn't had in so long. And even more so, he was burning with resentment towards Yugi and Yami, and the bond they shared. Ryou felt as though they were mocking him, whenever he caught them being close. He knew he was being small and petty, but he just coveted having that relationship with Bakura so _much!_

_But it's not going to happen! _Ryou inwardly screamed. _You're not having it ever again, you know that. _The whitenette sniffed, his heart beginning to ache. He turned, quickly, finding the door to the bathroom beside him. Ryou almost fled inside the bathroom, slamming the door behind himself and leaning against the white painted wood, inhaling deep, short breaths. He tried not to cry, tried to hard not to break down, but he was failing. Ryou closed his eyes, tears trickling down his cheeks as he started to sob. The thought of not having Bakura any more made him not want to go on anymore. How often did he tell Bakura, whisper the words in his ear, that he was his life? That Ryou had no reason to live, apart from Bakura's love?

_But it's not true._ Ryou tried to increase his self-confidence, wiping at his eyes. _I've been going fine without him._

_Huh. Who am I kidding? I've been going awfully. I'm falling apart without him. He was my everything. When I was with Bakura, all those other things didn't matter... They were so insignificant... Now that he's gone, they matter so much... They matter too much_. Ryou pressed his lips together as he walked over to the mirror, staring at himself. He looked a total mess, with tear tracks down his face and swollen, puffy eyes._ I feel like a total mess. Everything's caving in on me... I'm going to collapse, I know it._ Ryou sniffed again, his heart feeling like it was breaking, and his head starting to pound. _No... not a migraine, not now. _He shook his head, before wrenching the mirrored door to the bathroom cabinet open, looking for some kind of headache pill, knowing it was best to cure a migraine pill as quickly ass possible, nip it in the bud.

"No..." Ryou sighed, pushing back boxes and bottles and tubes of cream. "Nothing's here..." He sighed deeply, closing his eyes as his headache slowly began to increase. "Darn it..." He pushed aside an old tube of toothpaste, searching for perhaps that was lost in the back of the cupboard. Nothing...

The name 'Yugi Moto' caught his eye. Ryou blinked, and carefully picked up the small plastic pill bottle that bore his name. He raised it to his eye, frowning. Anti-depressants. His eyes widened at the date. Expired anti-depressants. _Why would you have these here? They could probably kill you._..

Ryou stared down at the bottle in his hands. _Probably kill you._ The words repeated in his mind, as he looked down at his hand. His head throbbed harder. Ryou slowly pushed the cabinet door closed, staring at himself in the mirror.

_What have I got left? Nothing. Nothing at all. No one to love, no one to call family... What reason do I have to go on?_ Ryou had been pondering ending it all for quite a long time. Although it was against his beliefs, Ryou was seriously considering the option. It was his out, for lack of a better word. He just couldn't see any other way to stop the hurting.

Ryou leaned against the mirror, tears trickling down his face. The glass was cool on his aching forehead, but did nothing to calm his frazzled nerves. He clutched the little bottle of expired anti-depressants, trembling. There had to be another way... There had to be...

There wasn't. Ryou pressed his lips together, sobbing. There was nothing. No reason to stay here anymore. The teenager swallowed, and slowly straightened his back, staring at his reflection in the mirror. It wasn't going to hurt this way, he tried to reason with himself. It would be just like going to sleep... Ryou turned away from the mirror, slowly, shakily making his way across the bathroom. His hands quivered on the doorknob as he pulled it open, stepping into the hallway. His head throbbed, his heart was pounding in his chest, and he was, to put it simply, terrified.

"Bakura?" The whitenette squeaked and jumped. Yami raised an eyebrow, leaning against the doorway to the lounge. "What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing..." Ryou couldn't look the spirit in the eye. "I-I was just getting a drink of water..."

"I'll get it." Yami said warmly. "You go back to bed and rest, okay?"

"I'm not sick..." But the spirit was already walking into the kitchen, ignoring Ryou. The teenager sighed deeply, and sniffed, before making his way into his room. He passed the cordless phone in the hallway, and grabbed it on impulse, before lightly padding into the bedroom. He set the phone and pills on his bedside table, pulling back the blankets and sitting down on the mattress.

"Here you go." Yami entered the room without introduction, a glass of water in his hand. "Need anything else?" Ryou swallowed, still averting his gaze as he pulled the blankets over himself, leaning against the pillows.

"N-No, there isn't..." He finally murmured, swallowing deeply. "But, Yami..." He slowly raised his eyes a little, until he was focusing on the mans' shoulder. "I-I'm really grateful for Yugi and you, trying to help me like this..." Ryou bit his lip. "It's been really great." Yami was confused for a moment, before nodding, his face breaking into a smile.

"Hey, that's okay, Bakura." He shrugged. "Anything to help a friend, you know that." He silently left the room, closing the door behind him.

"But it wasn't enough." Ryou's voice broke, and he slumped against the pillows, sobbing. He turned over onto his side, staring at the bottle of pills through the blur of tears. "Nothing is..." There was really only one thing he had to do. Everything seemed so eerie to Ryou, as he slowly sat up, and reached for the phone. The decision to kill himself was not a light one at all, but once he had decided that was really the only option left, now he was left in irreparable misery, the teenager felt rather... Calm. Like he'd known it was what needed to be done all along, and just now he had realised it. Bit by bit, his life had fallen away, and now he was left with nothing at all. Ryou was past being sad because of it. He just felt... Empty.

The teenagers' fingers quivered as he slowly started to dial the number to his old house, the number he knew so well. He pressed the black receiver against his ear, crying as the dial tone rang in his ears. The phone remained unanswered, until finally, the machine clicked into action.

"_Hi! It's Ryou here, Um, I'm not in, and neither is 'Kura, so just leave a message after the beep, and we'll get right back to you. Bye!"_ Ryou closed his eyes as his own childish, innocent voice rang in his ears. No one had changed the message since after Bakura had fallen into a coma. _Did that really use to be me? It seems like a million years ago. Oh, what I would give to be that happy again..._ The receiver beeper, and Ryou swallowed, clearing his throat.

"U-Um... H-Hi Yami." He stammered, shaking. "I guess you're not home... I-I guess you're wondering why I'm calling." He sniffed. "I know I would. I just... I-I wanted to call and tell you that I love you. I love you so much, Bakura. Those few months we had together were the happiest I've had since.." Ryou swallowed. "W-Well, since Mum and Amane died." He hiccupped. "And I think about it all the time. It just... It kills me, knowing that I can't have you again, Bakura... Because, I-I love you so much." He wiped at his eyes, crying.

"I-I just wanted to say that, 'Kura. I just wanted you to know how I still felt. I'm not angry at you for doing this so me, Bakura. I-I'm not one bit. Because I know you. I know you so well. I know that you can't bring yourself to forgive me. And..." Ryou let out a choked sob. "I know I deserve this. I did a really horrible thing to you And I am so sorry. I would do anything... Anything at all, to hear you say you loved me, j-just one more time..." Ryou hold the phone away slightly as he collapsed into tears, holding his hand over his mouth, until he had regained his composure enough to talk again. "I-I'm sorry I hurt you, Bakura. And I'm sorry you can't forgive me. I-I'm just sorry that everything turned out this way. I'm not going to say it wasn't my fault, because it is." He sighed, a long, shuddering breath. "But I love you. I'll always love you. You'll be the last thing I ever think about on this earth, I'll make sure of it." Ryou closed his eyes. "So I guess... I guess this is goodbye. Forever. I-I love you." Ryou made sure he mumbled the words one last time, before lowering the receiver from his ear, clicking the hang up button. He threw the phone to the floor, before holding his face in his hands and crying and crying and crying. It was almost fifteen minutes before he was able to regain his composure, wiping and sitting up. He slowly reached over, and picked up the little pill bottle with shaking hands.

Fourteen pills. Ryou took them two at a time, making sure he had a big gulp of water after each pill, until both the glass, and the jar was empty. Ryou set them both on the bedside table, and sank into the pillows, closing his eyes. His head hurt worse than ever, but he didn't really worry about that anymore. Headaches seemed so trivial when death was just around the corner.

_I didn't write a note._ Ryou's eyes opened. _Shoot._ He sighed, closing his eyes again. _But what would I say? Thanks Yugi, for not trying hard enough? I left that message for Bakura on the machine, and I said that stuff to Yami... That's enough, isn't it?_ He turned over onto his side, facing the window. It was raining, grey and cloudy outside. Ryou closed his eyes, he was starting to feel sleepy...

_Oh God. Is this the best option?_ Ryou's eyes flew open. _I know it's really really bad, but suicide..._

_I can't keep going on like this. I'm a burden for everyone, staying here. And I have nothing. Nothing nothing nothing nothing. It's better for everyone if I leave. And I'll be with Mum and Amane... I miss them so much... _

_The one thing tying keeping me here was Bakura. And after I lost him... And then Malik and then School... I can't keep living a life this horrible... They can't expect me to. I-It's the only way..._

_I suppose it is._

Ryou relaxed, closing his eyes. He felt oddly calm, lying there, listening to the rain against the window. It was oddly melodic and soothing.

_I think you can hear me, Bakura._ Although he had almost forgotten how, Ryou managed to open his side of the long-dormant mind-link. _And I meant everything I said. I love you more than words can ever say. I'd die for you. And... That's what I'm doing, isn't it?_

Ryou was definitely feeling sleepy. The teenager, beginning to grow hot, pushed back the blankets, kicked them so they were around his waist. His heartrate picked up, just a little, and he felt an odd trembling...

He was being poisoned, he realised as he relaxed against the pillow, almost asleep. Oh well. At least it wasn't going to hurt... Ryou sighed, deeply, as he felt the last tense muscles in his body relax. _Am I supposed to say goodbye, or something? That's kinda cheesy...I'll be okay._ Ryou settled for just allowing his mind to empty as he slowly drifted off to sleep, mildly comfortable with the situation. He just wanted to stop hurting so much.

And within a minute, Ryou was asleep, in a gradually deepening sleep that would inevitably progress into a coma, before finally, the supposedly sweet embrace of death.

* * *

Why do I feel like I'm going to be shot? -looks for bulletproof vest- Ack.

R&R!


	29. Chapter 29

Hello all!

Yes, yes, I know this chapter is a fair bit shorter than previous (I'm REALLY not consistent, am I?) But it... Well it just had to be, okay? -.-;

I can't believe people freaked out so much about the last chapter... I dunno. I'm sure that I said this would have a happy ending.

Well, you have to remember that this is a rewritten... Thing. I mean, the original Control had a happy ending, didn't it?

I'm going to shut up before I give everything away and ruin it for everyone. Because that would be awful, yesh. -nod-

Disclaimer: I own nothing. AHA! AHAHA!

* * *

"Malik, where are you going?"

"Out." Malik decided not to tell his sister as he grabbed the keys to his motorbike off the kitchen counter. "I dunno how long I'll be." Isis looked up from her salad, her forehead creasing in concern.

"Malik... What's going on?" She inquired softly, confused and worried. "You're all flushed and... Jerky."

"I have to go." Malik muttered abruptly, shrugging into his leather jacket and snatching up his helmet. "Look... I'll call you later or something, okay?"

"Malik-"

The blonde really had no time to explain himself to his sister. He chose instead to slam the door in his older sisters' face, running as fast as he could down the dimly-lit hallway. He was terrified. All he could think about was how Bakura screamed at him, shouted that it was his fault and how he blamed Malik for wrecking his life...

_It's true._ Malik pushed open the hall door, and started running down the stairs as fast as his legs could possibly allow him to. _I fucked everything up for everyone. I did it all just to get Ryou. But of course that never worked out. He loved Bakura too much to let him go._ A stitch slowly formed in Maliks' side, but he pushed the sensation down, gritting his teeth in pain.

He literally kicked open the front door to his apartment complex, and ran down the street to where his motorbike was parked. Malik's helmet was askew on his head, but he didn't care, starting the motorbike with astonishing speed, and taking off down the street, weaving in and out between the traffic.

_What the hell happened to him?_ Malik wondered desperately, keeping his eyes fixed on the road. _Why did he sound like that. It was like he was having some kind of breakdown at me or something... He's so messed up. I know he's messed up, but I can't imagine he would hurt himself bad enough to kill himself again. He would have to be sooo messed up..._

_But he is._ Malik sighed, chewing on his lower lip. _Hell._

* * *

"Hey. Yami!" Yugi chirruped as he closed the front door behind him. Jounouchi, Anzu, and Honda were in tow, after an afternoon at the arcade. "Where are you?"

"The lounge?" Yami stood up, stretching and yawning. "It's been quiet today... Have fun at the arcade?"

"... Sorta." Yugi dropped onto the couch with a sigh. "I couldn't really concentrate." Yami frowned, concerned.

"Why not?" He asked, scratching the back of his head.

"He's worried about Bakura." Jounouchi explained in the doorway to the lounge. "People were talking about him today. Word got out about how he's getting put back... Good thing he wasn't there to hear them..."

"How is Bakura?" Yugi asked quietly, staring down at his clenched hands. "Still asleep?"

"Yeah." Yami sighed. "He got up about... Oh, around an hour ago. Just wanted a drink of water. He was really upset though..." Yugi bit his lip, before standing back up again.

"I'm going to see if he's all right." The teenager announced, flashing Yami a fleeting, weak smile before crossing the lounge floor and down the hallway. He knocked on Ryou's door softly, and waited, but there was no answer.

"Bakura?" The door opened with a creak, as Yugi stuck his head in curiously. His expression softened as he saw Ryou curled up on the bed, still and unmoving. "Oh, you're asleep." He was about to leave the room again, when he noticed the cordless phone on the bedside table. "Oh. How did that get there?" He wondered aloud, the door ajar as he walked over to pick up the phone. As he reached over, however, the little jar of pills caught his eye. "What the..." The beginnings of a cold wave of fear was starting to ripple in the bottom of his stomach, but he tried to pay no attention to it. Yugi picked up the little jar, raising it to his eyes to read the tiny print. "What the..." He repeated the words again, his mouth falling open. _Why does he have these?_ Yugi frowned, looking down at Ryou. He hadn't read the name or date, just seen the prescription for anti-depressants. _He never told us he was on them..._ Yugi frowned as he stared at Ryou. Nothing moved. Not an eyelid, not a finger. He started to feel sick as his gaze flicked back to the label again, staring at the expiration date.

Yugi screamed. The bottle slipped from his trembling hands, which he held over his mouth, knees weak. _Bakura's killed himself. _It ran in his head, over and over again. He felt numb as he sank to the carpet, a strange ringing in his ears. _Bakura's killed himself. He killed himself. He's dead. Bakura's dead Bakura's dead Bakura's dead_-

"Yugi, what the hell's going on?" Jounouchi slammed the door against the door, his tone wrought with concern. "What's the screaming about?" He stared at Yugi, stunned, and at Ryou, who was as still as a statue spread out on the bed. "Y-Yug'?" He ran over to the shortest teenager, kneeling on the floor and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "What's happening?"

"B-Bakura..." Yugi felt like he couldn't breathe. His head swam and his heart was thudding painfully in his chest. "He... He..."

"What's wrong with Bakura?" Jounouchi shifted his gaze up to the so-called sleeping teenager, frowning. "He's just asleep."

"N-No..." Yami, Anzu, and Honda stood in the doorway, watching. "He's..." Yugi lowered his hands from his mouth, staring into space. "_God."_

"Yugi-"

"Bakura!" Yugi sprang to life as he straightened himself, positively hurling himself onto the bed and shaking Ryou's shoulders desperately. "Bakura, wake up!" Tears trickled down his cheeks as he hit Ryou across the face, the whitenette's head turning lifelessly. "Bakura, don't do this!" Yugi shook the teen, sobbing. All he could think about what how he had let this happen to one of his friends. Ryou was lying dead on the mattress and he _knew_ it was his fault. Jounouchi had caught a glimpse of the empty bottle of pills, and picked it up, staring at the label, dumbstruck.

"Yugi..." Yami sprinted across the room, seizing his lighter half by the waist and literally dragging him off of Ryou's body. "Yugi, stop it!"

"N-No!" Yugi sobbed, fighting against the spirit with all the strength he could muster. "Stop... Let me go... Bakura... L-Let me go!"

"Jesus Christ." Jounouchi gripped the pill bottle with an almost crushing force, gaping at Ryou in shock.

"What the hell is going on?" Honda burst into the room. "What's wrong with Bakura?" Yugi moaned weakly, still fighting against Yami, who was staring at the dumbstruck Jounouchi for answers.

"B-Bakura's killed himself." The blonde's voice was low and hollow. "They're expired anti-depressants... He must have taken the lot..." Yami's hold on his light slackened in his shock, and the maroon-eyed boy buried his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking.

"He's not." Yami felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. _You were with him all day... You should have seen how upset he was._ "He... He can't..." He locked eyes with Jounouchi, whose fingers loosened their tight hold on the plastic bottle. On an impulse, he ran over to the bed, rolling Ryou over onto his back. The teen moved lifelessly, his hair a mess over his face. Jounouchi pushed it away, and leaned over Ryou very closely, an ear turned towards Ryou's mouth and nose. Every muscle in Yami's body was as tense as a coiled spring as he watched Jounouchi, his heart hammering in his throat. A moment later, the blondes face crumpled in relief, and Jounouchi sat up again, breathing deeply.

"He's breathing." The brown-eyed boy kept his tone as rational as possible, staring at Ryou's chest, which rose and fell so softly, it was hardly surprising Yugi didn't notice it. Yugi froze, his short, shallow gasps for air filling the room. "He's still alive." Jounouchi clarified, licking his lips. "Okay. Anzu, go and get your car, and drive it right up to the front door. _Now._" He shot the brunette a look. Anzu was frozen in the doorway, a fish on ice, but she nodded, and sprung into life, stumbling down the hallway and fishing her keys out of her coat pocket. "Yami, take Yugi to the car. Honda, help me with Ryou." In his panic, he forgot to call his white-haired friend by his last name. Although his tone was calm, and controlled, one look into his coffee-coloured eyes showed the full extent of the inner chaos and desperation he was experiencing.

"Okay." Yami grabbed at Yugi's shoulder, hauling up into a standing position. "It's okay." He murmured into Yugi's ear. "He's going to be okay. We're going to take him to the hospital and make sure he's going to get better." Jounouchi frowned, pulling back the blankets and looping an arm around Ryou's shoulders. The look he shared with Honda said everything. _He's not going to the hospital_.

"The Medic House?" Jounouchi muttered under his breath as he lifted Ryou from the bed, surprised at how light he was. Honda nodded, almost pushing Yugi out of the way in his hurry to get Ryou to the car. The whitenette's breathing was frighteningly shallow, and it was scaring Jou to death.

"We can't take him to the hospital." Honda held both of Ryou's legs with one hand as he opened the front door. "One look at him, they'll call him an anorexic and a depressant and he'll never get out."

"I know." Jounouchi groaned as he walked outside. Yugi and Yami followed up the rear, shakily, piling into the car. Honda took the driver seat pushing Anzu across to the passenger seat, while Jounouchi slid into the car, slamming the door behind him. He held the light, frail body of Ryou in his arms, which seemed as fragile as glass. Jounouchi stared at Ryou's blue lips and sweaty brow, swearing under his breath.

"Can't you step on it?" He leaned over to glower at Honda, his hand shaking. Honda shot him an angry look in the rear-view mirror, but complied, pressing his foot against the accelerator and screaming down the road.

"I-Is h-he still..." The word _alive_ danced on Yugi's tongue, but he dared not to utter it, shaking violently. Yami had an arm looped protectively around his shoulders, staring at the almost comatose teenager in Jounouchi's arms in shock.

"Y-Yeah." Jounouchi cleared his throat, and stared down at Ryou's closed eyelids. "He's... He's not fine, but he's going to be, okay Yugi?" He tried to keep his tone as calm as he possibly could. "You have to believe me. They're going to pump his stomach and flush out his system and get rid of all the toxins..." He wracked his brains, trying to recollect everything he knew about overdoses. "Yami, you say that you left him at about quarter to four?"

"Y-Yeah." The spirit nodded, staring off into space. Jounouchi bit his lip, tightening his hold on the teenager.

"Okay. Let's say he waited until four to take the pills... It's almost half past five now... So, that's an hour and a half..."

"That's too long." Yugi's voice was hoarse. "If we just got home a little bit earlier..."

"It's not too long." Jounouchi argued. "It depends on how many he took, and also what his own system is like... When was the last time he actually ate? Because if they have a full stomach then it slows down the process..."

"Bakura hasn't eaten barely anything in days." Yugi was in tears. "Oh God, he's going to die..." Jounouchi growled, and raised his eyes to the ceiling of the car.

"Listen, Yugi." He argued. "You can't fall apart right now. You have to stay calm."

"_How the hell am I supposed to be calm?"_ Yugi exploded, bursting into sobs. "Bakura's almost dead, Jou! He's dying and you want me to be _calm?"_

"I don't want you to be calm, I need you to be calm!" Jounouchi shot back, his eyes glistening with tears. "Goddamn it, Yugi, freaking out right now isn't going to solve anything! Do you think I'm not upset? Because I am! I'm just as scared as you are, Yugi! But I know that if I break down and make a scene, it's just going to slow everything down-"

"Oh, so I'm making a scene now-"

"Both of you _stop it!"_ Yami couldn't take the fighting anymore, as he at up straight, dropping his arm from Yugi's shoulders. "The last thing we need is you two fighting! Bakura is in so much trouble... Can we just be civil?"

"... Yeah." Yugi bowed his head and slumped his shoulders, crumpling. "I'm sorry... I just... I..."

"It's okay." Yami replaced his hand around his lights' shoulders. "We're all feeling really rattled here." Jounouchi had pulled off his watch, which he groped in one hand, two fingers from the other pressed in the base of Ryou's neck. "What are you doing?"

"Shh..." Jounouchi kept his eyes locked intently on the watch, his lips moving silently. "Shit." He closed his eyes, leaning back in his seat as he threw his watch to the floor of the car. "_Fuck."_ Jounouchi rarely cursed, unless he was extremely upset.

"What's wrong?" Yugi's voice shook. "I-It's really low, isn't it..." Honda tossed a glance into the backseat, his brow furrowed in concern, before staring back at the road, his hands shaking.

"Forty-two." Jounouchi was almost in tears. "He's going into a coma... Honda, for gods' sake drive faster!" The blonde exploded, holding Ryou as though he were afraid he would drop him.

"I'm almost there!" Honda screeched around a corner, Yugi, Yami, Jounouchi, and Ryou practically bouncing around in the back seat. Anzu frowned as she stared at the houses as they flicked past. They were rough, at best.

"This isn't the way to the hospital." She stared at Honda, blue eyes wide. "Where are we going?"

"We're not going to the hospital." Jounouchi muttered. Yugi's head whipped around, and he stared at the blonde, his mouth falling open.

"Then where the hell are we going?" Yugi gasped, eyes wide with fright. "Jou, he has to go to the bloody hospital! What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing!" Jounouchi snapped. "Look, we take him to the hospital, and it's not gonna be pretty. Yugi, look at him. He'll get transferred into a loony bin, I know it." The shorter teen slowly sank back into the upholstery of the car, staring into space. "You know it too."

"I-I know." Yugi finally choked, in tears. "But... There's nowhere else for him to go..."

"Not true." Honda muttered in the front seat. "There's this sort of underground hospital a just ahead a bit. It's called the Medic house. As long as you pay the fee, they heal you, and send you on your way, no questions asked."

"You guys know about this from your gang days, don't you?" Anzu frowned at Honda, brushing stray hairs from her eyes. Honda nodded grimly, trying his hardest to keep the steering wheel steady.

"They can do bullet wounds, stab wounds, drug overdoses, broken bones of course..." Jounouchi bit his lip. "You reckon Masato will still remember us?" He kept his eyes locked on Ryou, who was barely breathing, his skin too pale, almost sallow.

"Hope so." Honda screeched the car around another corner, the males in the backseat sliding against the left door. "How much cash do you have on you?"

"I got paid from work today." Jounouchi sighed. "But I don't know if that will be enough... And you know he likes to paid up front."

"I don't have any." Yugi's voice was hoarse. "I-I'm sorry..." The blonde shrugged, keeping his gaze fixed firmly on Ryou, whose arms and legs were trembling, almost unnoticeably.

"Honda, he's shaking." Jounouchi swallowed a lump in his throat. "Please, tell me we're close." There was no urgent desperation in Jou's voice at this point- He sounded dull and blank.

"Up here!" Honda's heart soared as he reached the house, slamming his foot on the brake, bringing Anzu's car to a screeching halt.

"Go in first." Jounouchi commanded, grasping the door handle. "Tell him we're coming." Honda nodded, and wrenched his own door open, running out of the car, and positively flying down the walk. Anzu closed her own door with shaking hands, staring at the house. Like most in the street, it was in a series of grey flats, overshadowed by dark, smoky factories. There was no front lawn- just dirt and dirty yellow scrub, broken by a thin, crumbling walkway. She shivered, wrapping her arms around herself, disliking the place instantly.

"Anzu, hurry up!" Jounouchi was halfway up the torn path, and he spun back for a moment to glare at the brunette, holding Ryou bridal-style in his arms. "You can look later." Anzu blinked as Jounouchi started to run again, watching his footing.

"Come on!" Jounouchi swore as he banged against the door that Honda had just slammed a few moments before. "Open up, quick!" He used his knee to prop Ryou's lower half up as he knocked on the chipped, flaking wood, his heart thudding. "Please."

"Hello?" Jounouchi blinked as the tall, stanch man raised an eyebrow at him, swinging the door open easily. "How may I help you?"

"Masato" Jounouchi pleaded. "I've got a kid who's overdosed on anti-depressants... He'll be committed in a psych ward if he goes to the hospital." The man stood still, silent. "Look, I just saw Honda run inside! Where is he?"

"They with you?" The man jerked his head in the direction of Anzu, Yami, and Yugi. Jounouchi nodded, clinging to Ryou tightly.

"Please-"

"They leave." The man snarled, glaring daggers at Anzu, who took a step back, hurt. "I don't know them, they can't come in." Jounouchi's eyes widened, his mouth dry.

"Masato**-**"

"Look, either they don't come in, or none of you do." The man growled. "You know my policies, Jou."

"Please-"

"Look! Be fucking grateful I'm letting you in in the first place!" He snapped. "You haven't been in the crowd for over two years, remember?" Jounouchi lowered his head, staring down at Ryou. Time was far too precious, and he knew that Ryou needed medial attention _now._

"Okay, okay." Jounouchi conceded without a fight. "Yugi." He turned his head back, staring at the shortest teen. "Just go home, okay? I'll call you when something happens." Yugi shook his head, as Yami clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Jou-"

"Don't argue!" The blonde snapped, stepping past Masoto and into the dilapidated house. The man gave all three a venomous look before slamming the door shut in their faces. Yugi lowered his head into his hands, trying so hard not to cry, while Anzu crossed her arms, staring up at the sky and pressing her lips together.

"We... We have to go." Yami muttered, stepping down off the stoop. Yugi made a soft noise of protest, fighting Yami's hold. "Yes." His tone was slightly firmer as he pulled Yugi down. "Look." He held both hands on the teens' shoulders, forcing Yugi to look him in the eye. "I could force our way in there, yes." He sighed. "But that's not going to work. That man is the only person who can save Bakura's life right. As much as I hate it, we... We have to go."

"Yami's right." Anzu agreed tearfully. "We... We should go home and wait for news." Yugi shook his head slowly, unable to comprehend what he was hearing.

"I-I can't believe you guys." He gasped, running a hand through his hair. "This is Bakura. He's dying, and you guys don't want to help-"

"We did help!" Anzu interrupted, blue eyes sparkling with tears. "We took Bakura here, and handed him over to people who know how to save him. What more can we do Yugi? Huh?"

"I-I don't know..." Yugi mumbled, blinking back fresh tears. "But... We can't just leave Bakura like this... We can't!"

"Yugi." Yami muttered in his deep voice. "It's okay. Jou and Honda are in there with him, remember? And from the sounds of things, Jounouchi is gonna know how to help him. All that stuff he said about overdosing... He can help. We would just fret and get in the way. You know we would."

"I-I know." Yugi choked. "But... I-I just won't feel right if I'm not there... You have to understand."

"I do." Yami kept this tone as gentle as he would. "But you have to understand. Please, just let the man fix Bakura, okay?" Yugi was still and silent fro a long time, before nodding, shoving his hands in his pockets before starting to walk down the crumbled walkway. Yami followed suit, as did Anzu, but Yugi started to pick up his pace, almost jogging down to the car.

"Yugi, please don't be like this." Anzu begged, following the shortest teen. "We're sorry you're upset, but you know this is the best-"

"Stop it Anzu!" Yugi whirled around on his heel, narrowing his eyes. "I-I don't wanna hear it right now! I-I just... Forget it." He stood beside the car door, his arms crossed. "Who has the keys..."

"I do." Anzu fished them out of her pocket, and jammed them into the door. "I'll drive." _Not like anyone else can here._

"Yugi, please, you know we're sorry for this." Yami pleaded as Yugi got into the car silently. "We're just trying to think about the best for Bakura here-"

"And that's all I want." Yugi cut over the spirit. Instead of being angry and desperate this time around, his voice was laced with tears. "I-I just want Bakura to be okay..." He wiped at his eyes, letting out a long, shuddering breath. "I just want him to live... More than that, I want him to get better." He drew his knees up to his chest, curling up in the back seat. Yami sat beside him, resting his forehead against the glass as Anzu started up the car, slowly turning into the road.

"I don't like this place..." She murmured, looking around her fearfully. "Anyone know the way home?"

"No." Yami sighed heavily. "I was too busy worrying about Bakura. You were the one looking out the window."

"We were all too busy worrying about Bakura." Anzu was nearly in tears. "Oh God... I can't stay here in this area, we'll get into big trouble..._ Look_ at this area!"

"I know." Yugi sighed deeply, his head in his hands. "Maybe if we just... I dunno, find a coffee shop or something and stay there... I have my cell phone on me so they can call." Anzu and Yami glanced at each other in the rear vision mirror. Yami nodded, and Anzu followed suit, biting her lip and blushing, ever so slightly.

"S-Sounds like a plan." She stammered slightly, clenching her hands on the steering wheel.

* * *

"Bakura?" Malik's heart sank as he closed the door behind himself, staring around the place. Bottles of alcohol, food wrappers, screwed up newspapers, and pieces of clothing were strewn about the scene, harbouring flies and ants. Malik walked into the kitchen, his helmet dangling from one hand. His eyes widened at the blood splattered all about the kitchen floor, and he whimpered softly. "Bakura?" His tone was louder, more anxious as he ducked out of the kitchen, tossing his helmet and jacket on the dining room table, running into the lounge.

"BAKURA!" Malik screamed at the top of his lungs, in shock. The white-haired spirit lay on his side, curled over slightly, with his eyes closed. "Oh _God_." He gasped, running over to Bakura and collapsing onto his knees, bending over him, terrified. "Bakura, wake up..." Malik shook at Bakura's shoulder, staring down at his arm. Blood still trickled from the yami's arm, pooling on the floor. Malik jumped back, disgust evident on his face at the sight. The Egyptians face sank slightly, in clear concern for Bakura. _He's so messed up_... And at that time, Malik just couldn't be angry at Bakura for screaming at him, claiming his break up with Ryou to be Maliks' fault. _Look how much he's hurting. No wonder he broke down like that..._

"Bakura." Malik breathed softly, slowly getting down on his knees beside the spirit. "You awake at all?" He gently prodded Bakura's shoulder, but he didn't move. "Shit." He sighed deeply, raising his eyes up to the ceiling. "Okay..." He lowered his gaze, looking over to the bathroom, judging how far he could drag Bakura without him waking up. _I'll have to carry him... Crap._

"Why do you do this to yourself?" Malik sniffed, and slid an arm underneath Bakura's shoulders. The spirit's head lolled to one side, his face expressionless. "Why... Why do you find hurting yourself fun?" He groaned slightly, hooking an arm under Bakura's knees. His arms strained as he slowly started to stand up, but Malik was mildly surprised. _He's so bloody light... Really, it can't be healthy for him to be like this._ Malik's legs shook as he headed towards the bathroom, and he wobbled, off-balance as he kicked the door open with a foot. He stepped inside, and gently lowered Bakura into the bath, his death-white face blank and emotionless. There was something oddly cool and business-like about the way Malik pulled of the spirits' socks and shoes, and also his bloodied shirt and jeans, until Bakura was left in his underwear._ I knew he was going to be a mess._ Malik inwardly sighed as he pushed in the plug, turning on the taps. _But this is just sick... Poor Bakura. I know he kind of brought this upon himself, pushing Ryou away and then abandoning him, but he's just being cruel to himself now. And he doesn't realise that it's just not necessary. _Malik slowly started to swirl the heating water around the bath, Bakura's hair floating up around the water. The blonde swore, and lifted Bakura's head out of the water before he drowned.

"God, you're such a worry." Malik stared at Bakura's arm, which was still bleeding. "What are we going to do with you?" By 'we', Malik clearly meant Ryou. The Egyptian just knew that he had to get Ryou involved in this. _He's going to be messed up himself, I know. Those two have to just get back together and fix this. _It just astounded Malik, really, how much he had managed to screw things up for the pair. _I'm going to make sure Ryou and Bakura get back together and have their happily ever after. _He stared down at Bakura's face, his insides burning with guilt. He was so selfish... Thinking about himself when he forced Ryou to sleep with him, pushy and maniputalive. _I never asked Ryou how he felt afterwards... God, I have to talk to him and say I'm so sorry..._

He had no idea that Ryou was fighting for his life at that moment.

* * *

See? People stress over nothing.

Ugh... Angst overload. Why do I like to wallow in it? o.0;

R&R!


	30. Chapter 30

HA! Hiiii

Yeah, this is the second to last chapter. As in next chapter will be the last one.

Well, and then we have the Epilogue... So this is the third to last one, really XD Oh well.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING! MUAHAHA

* * *

"Yugi."

The teens face crumpled in relief as Jounouchi's voice rang through the black plastic receiver. "Where are you man?"

"Um... At some place... Somewhere." Yugi mumbled as he stared around the seedy coffee shop, his hands shaking. "Jounouchi, Bakura-"

"Just come over here and pick us up!" The blonde snapped urgently on the other end. "I have no money on my phone... And for Gods' sake, bring money, because we didn't have enough and Masato is spitting tacks." The desperation was clear in Jounouchi's voice was enough to make Yugi obey, muttering goodbye and hanging up without argument.

"So?" Anzu looked across the table at him, blue eyes wide with fright. "H-How is he?" Yugi stared down at the phone, his mouth slightly open.

"I-I don't know." He finally murmured, his voice small and lost. "Jou... He didn't say. He just told us to pick them up and bring money... He sounded really desperate."

"So we don't know if Bakura is okay?" Yami ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah. That's _really_ useful there... Why couldn't he tell us?" Yugi shrugged hopelessly as he stood up, jamming his phone into his pocket.

"Look..." Anzu bit her lip, trying to reason with the males. "What reason do we have to think he's not? He was still alive when we left him at that house-thing, and there were doctors and stuff there to help him. We have to believe he's okay."

"But... But what if he's not?" Yugi couldn't help to fear the worst. "What if they were too late, and his body's already like, had all of the toxins and poisons in those pills absorbed into him..." He held his head in his hands, letting out a long, long sigh.

"Yugi, don't think like that." Yami instructed, standing up to place a hand on the teens' shoulder. "We don't know yet. Try to think the best, okay?"

"I-I'll try..." Yugi mumbled after a long silence, looking down at the floor. Yami nodded, feeling useless really, and Anzu kept looking around her, uneasy.

"Good." She murmured. "Um, can we go now? This place gives me the creeps." Yami nodded, staring around the undesirable establishment with gritted teeth.

"Lets." He lead the way out of the tiny, barely reputable 'coffee shop', the other two following him, staring around anxiously. Anzu sighed in relief as they entered the street, glad to see that her car was undamaged. She unlocked it silently, sliding into the drivers' seat, and gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"Hey, Yugi..." She murmured after a while, starting the car, her curiosity and concern getting the better of her. "Why did you even have anti-depressants prescribed to you?" Yugi's shoulders slumped, and he momentarily closed his eyes, knowing that the question was going to come sooner or later. Yami stared down at Yugi keenly, frowning slightly.

"I knew someone was going to ask." Yugi mumbled, his eyes lowered. He stared at his shoes, unable to look at anyone else. "It was a really long time ago... It doesn't even matter anymore."

"Yes it does." Yami argued in his deep voice. He slowly looped an arm around Yugi's shoulders, coaxing the teenager to lean into him slightly. "It matters a lot. Anti-depressants... People only take those when they're really really upset and sad. When were you that down, Yugi?" He frowned. Yugi bit his lip, wringing his hands together.

"Well... Like I said, it was a really long time ago." Yugi mumbled. "Over two years... Before I was friends with Jounouchi and Honda and even you Anzu... And before I had the puzzle... I wasn't like- Like Bakura." Yugi swallowed. "I never tried to kill myself, or even think about it. I was just really depressed. Grandpa sent me to a doctor, who prescribed them to me. I never even took them... Just flushed them down the toilet."

"Why?" Anzu frowned in the rear vision mirror, stricken. "Yugi... Have you ever told anyone this?" Yugi pressed his lips together, shaking his head.

"No... It just never seemed worth telling." He sighed. "I mean, I knew I didn't need them. Pills wouldn't make me feel any better." Yugi forced a tiny smile. "You guys did." Yami tightened his hold on the teenager, who relaxed under the hold. "I'm really grateful for it."

"Aw, no prob." Anzu smiled weakly, driving the car. Yugi forced another smile, before leaning over and staring out the window.

"How close are we?" He asked. "Do you know where we're going?" Anzu deflated, and shook her head, trying so hard not to cry.

"God... Oh, I'm lost."

* * *

"I don't know what I'm going to do with you." Malik murmured weakly, cross-legged on Bakura's bed. He was absentmindedly stroking Bakura's hair as he sat on the mattress, the spirit tucked up under the blankets. His arms were crossed at his middle, above the duvet, bound thickly to the elbows in bandages. "I really don't, Bakura." He'd sat at the spirits' bedside for what seemed like ages, watching him breathe and making sure he was okay. "You know, I thought that... I dunno, I thought that maybe you were thinking about leaning towards going back with Ryou... All that shit you said about it not being his fault... I know you meant it. You don't really blame Ryou for what happened anymore, not like you used to. But you're still... Goddamn it, you're so stubborn!" Malik was talking more to himself than to Bakura as he tightened his hold in the spirits' hair. "Everything is offered to you on a silver platter, and you wont take it. You have a great house, shitloads of money, and the greatest partner anyone could ever ask for who's begging to have you back." Malik slowly shook his head. "And you _still_ say no..."

"I know you're messed up." The Egyptian muttered, slowly uncrossing his legs before they had the chance to go numb. "And I know you're stubborn. And I know you have huge issues with your mentality Bakura, but you _can't_ keep hurting Ryou like this."_ But all he's ever done is hurt Ryou. He abused him for years, and even when they were together, Bakura was too rough on him when he shouldn't have been. And now this_... "I know that the chances of you guys ever just going back to the way you used to be is impossible after all of this hurt, but you have to _try_, Bakura." Tears glistened in Maliks' eyes. "For your own health, if nothing else. Look at you. You almost died, Bakura, and you've been doing this to yourself for weeks. It's stupid, really." Malik disentangled his hands from Bakura's wild, damp locks, and rested his head in them, groaning. "It's so _stupid_." He swallowed. "Y-You have... The greatest kid ever, Bakura. Ryou loves you so much, and you just... You just shove him away. Do you know many people would just kill to have Ryou? I would do so much for him... God, it's been over a year and I still feel so strongly for him... That's sad." Malik cleared his throat. "I know that's sad. But I can't help still feeling way. And I'm still gonna wait around for Ryou... If you can't realise how much you love him and you wont accept Ryou for making one mistake... God, he can't be alone, he'll be such a mess..."

Bakura groaned. Malik jumped, and looked down at the spirit wide-eyed. Bakura groaned again, and his eyelids flickered as he slowly started to wake. The blonde sighed deeply, and sat back down, brushing his hair out of his eyes as he watched Bakura intently. His eyes slowly opened, and he groaned again, staring unseeingly up at the ceiling as he struggled to focus. He blinked, and after a moment, slowly lifted his head, trying to see around himself. Bakura froze as he stared at Malik, and slowly sank back down into the pillows, his eyes wide.

"... What the fuck are you here for." He finally muttered, exhausted. Bakura closed his eyes, turning his head to one side, away from Malik. "Go 'way." Malik smiled weakly, sadly, and shook his head.

"I found you on the living room floor covered in blood." Malik sighed, his face tight with concern. "Was I just supposed to leave you?" Bakura shrugged weakly, before turning over onto his side completely, burying his face on the pillow.

"Leave me to die." Bakura mumbled. "Sounds good." Malik only snorted, and rolled his eyes.

"Bakura, that's shit and you know it." He tried so hard to keep his tone even. "One, you can't die, you twit. You'll just be totally stuck back in the Ring again and forced closer to Ryou than ever, and Two, I _know_ that you don't hold with suicide. It's so not your style."

"You know my style?" Bakura allowed the ghost of a smile to pass over his lips. "You think you know me?"

"Oh, don't pull that." Malik rolled his eyes. "I know you well. Almost as well as Ryou knows you. Remember, at some point in time way back, you used to call me your best friend. Remember that?"

"Yeah... I remember." Bakura murmured weakly. "But then you started making moves at my boy. Remember that? Remember how you kissed him? Remember how you _fucked _him?"

"Bakura... Can we not get started again?" Bakura only growled, and after considerable effort, managed to sit up, leaning against the headboard as he glared at the teen.

"Why not? Can't handle the truth Malik? Can't you grasp the fact that you're nothing but a home-wrecking _whore_ who couldn't stand being Ryou's second choice?" As soon as the words left Bakura's mouth, he knew he'd made an awful mistake. Malik growled, and, as quick as a striking snake, he grabbed the front of Bakura's shirt, and dragged the yami up to his eye level, his expression smouldering.

"Shut the _fuck_ up." Malik snarled, his voice low and shaking. Bakura's mouth fell open as he stared the Egyptian in the eye, his chest heaving. "God, Bakura! I know I made mistakes and I know they're big ones, but you can't break up with Ryou over them! Not when they're mine! Remember when we all got drunk and slept together? You blamed me for that! Not Ryou, not even yourself. You blamed me. And yeah, I might be Ryou's second choice, but that doesn't bloody matter, because he loves you so much, that he'll never get over you. You're his goddamn _life._" Bakura stared at him. "Look. There is only one thing that is stopping you two from being together, that is your selfish stubbornness. That is really the only thing. If you just got over yourself-"

"Shut up!" Bakura growled, grabbing at Maliks' arms in an attempt to get the blonde away from him. For the first time, however, he realised that he was wearing thick bandages, and looked down at his arms in surprise. ".. The fuck..."

"Yeah, I did that." Malik spat. "I also got all the blood off you, cleaned up your house, got you into bed, and even bought you some goddamn food for your cupboards." Bakura just shot Malik a shrivelling glare.

"What do you want, a fucking medal?" He snarled. "What? An 'Oh, thanks, Malik! You're the greatest pal ever! I don't know what I would do without you!' Fat fucking _chance_." Malik only sighed, and looked away momentarily, closing his eyes.

"I don't want thanks." He finally murmured in a low tone. "I'm not looking for it. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. That was all." Bakura shot him a suspicious look. "It is, I swear." Malik repeated, biting his lip. The yami only wrenched Maliks' arms off of his shirt, and pushed the Egyptian away by his shoulders, Malik crying out as he fell back onto the bed.

"Yeah... Well, you shouldn't have wasted your time." Bakura growled, turning away and crossing his arms, looking altogether childish. "I don't care about how my house looks, I don't eat all shit all food anyway, and you think I haven't passed out from blood loss before? I was okay on Monday, I would have been fine then-"

"_Monday?"_ Malik was stricken. "Oh... Bakura... And you're not eating?" He actually blinked back tears of deep sympathy. "That's awful..."

"I don't want your fucking pity." Bakura spat. "So don't even start. Okay Mr Good Samaritan. You've done your good deed for the week. So go _home_. Leave me alone." Malik shook his head, staring at Bakura sadly.

"I don't want to go home." He said softly. "I can't... Not with you like this. Not when it's..."

"When it's your fault?" Bakura snarled. "That's it, isn't it? You don't even give a shit about me, you just want to quell your own guilty conscience-"

"Bakura, that's not true, and you know it!" Malik was almost in tears of distress. "It's not like that at all! I care about you... You're one of the people I'm closest to. And seeing you like this... I just want to help."

"I don't want your fucking help!" Bakura screamed. "I just want to be left alone!" Malik moaned, holding his head in his hands.

"You're so infuriating!" He complained. "I-I can't just leave you like this, Bakura..." He sighed, deeply. "I-I saw your painting..." Bakura froze, and slowly moved his head, to stare Malik in the eye. "It's really really good. Are you going to do another one?"

"... It's fucked up." Bakura looked away again. "It was just... Something to do."

"It's messed up, but it's really good." Malik tried his hardest to be encouraging. "You should do more... If you want to, I mean." He added hastily, noticing the way Bakura's eyes flashed.

"No." He spat the word in one low syllable. "That was a one-off. It was..." _It was just too hard_...

"... Oh." Malik finally murmured, his voice small and lost. He looked down at his hands, uncomfortable. After a few seemingly endless moments of silence, he finally cleared his throat, and looked at Bakura, frowning slightly. "I'm uh... I'm going to get something to drink. You want anything?" Bakura shook his head slowly. Malik slumped his shoulders, and rubbed at his eyes, getting off of the bed and leaving the room.

It was the little blinking red light that broke Malik from his miserable thoughts as he entered the living room. The answering machine. The Egyptian frowned, and walked towards it, pushing the PLAY button.

"U-Um... H-Hi Yami." Malik froze as Ryou's voice filled his ears, the whitenette's heartbreaking stammer making his chest hurt. _Ryou. What does he want? _"I guess you're not home... I guess you're wondering why I'm calling." _Yeah, I am._ Malik frowned thoughtfully. _What's wrong... Why would he want to call Bakura? He must know that he would do nothing but yell at him. He must be really upset._ Malik tuned in again, staring at the answering machine keenly. As the tearful message played, Malik's heart sank lower and lower, until he sat down with a thump on the sofa, holding his hands over his mouth. _No no no no no no no_... "I would do anything... Anything at all to say you loved me._" What is he doing here? It's just a stupid lost hope._ Malik's breath quickened as he listened at the message, his heart thudding faster and faster. It sounded like some kind of messed up

_suicide note_.

Malik actually screamed, standing up at staring at the machine as his heart sank like a rock. _NO!_ The blonde ran his hands through his hair, eyes wide. _Oh God_.

"I guess this is goodbye... Forever." Malik closed his eyes, fighting back a sob. "I love you." _BEEP._

"_No new messages."_

"Oh God RYOU!" Malik sank to his knees, and grabbed the machine tightly, as through the whitenette was trapped inside. "You can't do this..." He shook it, tears streaming down his face. "No no no no no..." Malik shook his head slowly, trying so hard not to break down totally. _Ryou's tried to kill himself... Oh God, Ryou's tried to kill himself_... He felt like he was going to be sick.

_Bakura._ Malik jerked his head up, the machine clack in his hands. _I have to tell him... I have to see his reaction. He can't not let this affect him... God, how am I thinking coherently here?_ He swallowed deeply, and turned, running into the bedroom, still crying.

"Bakura." The yami jumped in his bed, and turned, glaring at Malik. "Bakura, please, come with me."

"... Why." He snarled, his expression murderous, teeth bared. Malik pressed his lips together, and looked down, tears dripping down his nose and onto the floor.

"Ryou's tried to kill himself." He mumbled, shaking violently as the teenagers tear-filled phone message replayed again, over and over in his mind. Bakura frowned, not hearing what the Egyptian had said.

"What?" He growled, his face creased in a deep frown, and twisted into a deep snarl. "Talk louder, for Gods' sake." Malik slowly raised his head, and wiped at his eyes with a shaking hand.

"R-Ryou has tried to kill himself." He spoke louder, with more clarity, but his voice still shook. Bakura blinked, confused.

"What-"

"For fucks' sake Bakura, he attempted suicide!" Malik lost control, and broke down sobbing. "He-he left a message on his phone... Goddamn, Bakura, look at what you've done!" Bakura sat perfectly still for about three seconds. Then he sprung to life, throwing back his blankets, and jumping out of bed. The spirit pushed Malik aside, who cried out as he was roughly slammed against the doorway, and sank to the floor, his knees on the carpet. He was in shock, more than anything. All Malik could even think about was how Ryou, a person he cared so much about, had tried to _kill_ himself. _Where is he? He could be dead or dying or what... I-I don't even know. I have to find out. I have to know if he's okay... Of course I have to know if he's okay. Why would he do this? Ryou's never even considered suicide before. Never ever ever..._

_Bakura, what have you __**done?**_ Malik closed his eyes, holding his head in his hands. _What the bloody hell have you done to him?_ He swallowed deeply, crying. It was some time before he was slowly able to haul himself back into a standing position, and half-run, half-stumble into the living room. He paused when he saw Bakura, however, biting his lip.

The yami was sitting on the couch, his legs tightly locked together, feet flat on the carpet, hand clenched in his lap. His back was perfectly straight, and he stared directly at the air in front of him. Malik licked his lips nervously, and swallowed.

"... You heard it?" He finally broke the uneasy silence in the room, and took the first few steps towards the spirit. Bakura made no recognition that Malik had even spoken, but the blonde could tell from the look in his eyes that he had. Malik crossed the room, until he was directly in front of Bakura, and slowly crouched down, until he was eye-level with him.

The look in Bakura's eyes made Malik's heart burn with pity. He had never, ever seen so much rage, confusion, loss, and pain in Bakura's eyes like he had at that moment. It was almost as though he was screaming out for help, but just didn't know how. Bakura's eyes were now locked with Maliks' but his face never flicked, his hands neither tensed, not relaxed in his lap. He looked like a statue.

"Bakura." Malik pleaded, tilting his head to one side. "Say something. _Please_." Bakura's face remained vacant, and he didn't move. "Anything." Malik whispered, blinking away tears. "_Please_." Bakura's face stayed as still as ever, as while and unmoving as marble.

"... He's not dead." His lips barely moved as he murmured the words, still staring off at nothing. Malik's face sagged in relief, and he slowly closed his eyes.

"Bakura, thank God-"

"He's not dead." The yami repeated, his voice a little firmer. Malik sighed, forcing a weak smile.

"Bakura-"

"He _can't._" The last syllable in that short sentence was so emotional, full of so much pain and confusion and anger, and the stubborn attempt to remain cool and aloof, that Malik just wanted to hug Bakura.

"Bakura-"

"He _can't!"_ Bakura repeated, and at that, his still upright position slumped, he bowed his head, and held his hands over his face, shaking.

"_Bakura..._" Malik sighed, slowly getting up and sinking into the couch beside his white-haired friend. "Oh, I'm so sorry..." Bakura shook harder, his breathing harsh and gasping. Malik's heart sank, and he made the fatal mistake of placing a hand on Bakura's shoulder, in an attempt to be consoling. Bakura stiffened, before jerking himself up out of the chair, spinning on his heel and glaring at Malik.

"Don't fucking _touch _me!" He screamed, red-eyed. Malik stood up, and stared helplessly as Bakura turned and ran from him, to the closest sanctuary he could find, the bathroom. Malik followed, but the door was slammed in his face, the lock clicking as it was slammed home.

"Bakura, I'm sorry!" Malik pleaded, pressing his palms against the wood. "I didn't mean to... I was just trying to help..."

"That's not fucking helping!" Bakura screamed in the bathroom. He held his head in his hands, crouched on the floor. "Oh godgodgodgodgod_god._" He closed his eyes, gritting his teeth. His brain and chest felt like little more than a turbulent storm of emotions, more wild and out of control than ever before. _Ryou tried to kill himself._ The thought burned in Bakura's mind. He still couldn't believe it. He refused to believe that it was his doing, driving the boy he once loved to attempted suicide. It was just too hard to accept. All Bakura could think about was hearing Malik say the words that first time, the initial stab of shock and the cold flood of fear, before all the other emotions swept in. And hearing Ryou's voice, that soft, high, heart-breaking voice on the phone, hearing Ryou say over and over again that he loved him, hearing Ryou say that he was sorry, and that it was all his fault... It was just too much for Bakura. He couldn't take it, and he knew that he was falling apart, just thinking about Ryou. The image of him lying dead burned in his mind, scaring him like nothing else. Scaring him. _The fact Ryou is dead –or close to- is scaring the shit out of me_. If he was in any better state of mind, Bakura could have found the connection, but at that time, going over and over Ryou's words in his mind, trying to cope with what he was feeling, was making Bakura drift towards insanity.

"Bakura, open up!" Malik cried, beating against the locked door with his fists. "Look, we don't have to talk about anything, but for Gods' sake, just come out! You know I'm not going to judge you, any way you react! You wanna cry about it? Wanna scream or shout or break something? I don't care! I'll cry with you if you want... God, you can hit me if you want, just get the hell out of the bathroom!" _God... There's pills and razorblades in there. What if he hurts himself?_ "Please!"

"Fuck off!" Tears stung at Bakura's eyes, and he hated himself for it. The yami was still shaking, harder than ever, and his chest hurt. Not knowing what else to do, Bakura grabbed at the bandages at his arms, struggling to unravel and tear the cloth. "Why the fuck did you put these bandages on me?!"

"Bakura _NO!"_ Malik screamed, kicking the door. "DONT!" He rested his forehead against the door, sobbing. "Please, just come out of here! I'm not going to make you control anything, you know that! I just don't want you hurting yourself and doing something stupid!"

"Well, _I _want to!" Bakura retorted, now tearing at the strips of cloth with his teeth. _"Fuck_, these are on tight." Malik gasped, still pounding his fists against the door.

"Because you're not supposed to get into them!" Malik yelled. "Let me in, Bakura! Let me in, or come out!" He pleaded, shaking, as panic, anger, and shock swirled around in his chest, feeling as though it were about to consume him. "Hurting yourself won't solve anything!"

"Fuck off!" Bakura roared through the door, on his knees in the white tiled room. "Just fuck off!" He bowed his head, torn and stretched bandages hanging from his skeletal arms. "I don't want you to help me!"

"I don't give a fuck about what you want!" Malik screamed, jiggling the doorknob. "It's what you need that matters! And you need to let me in!"

"What the fuck is the point in life if you don't get what you want." Bakura's tone, although low, was still clearly angry, as he stared down at his semi-bandaged arms. Malik sighed deeply, and leaned against the door.

"Then... what do you want?" He tried to reason with the door, pressing his palm against the wood. "Bakura, tell me what you want. Tell me what you want, and I will do it for you. I swear. I don't care what it is. Just open the door, and I'll cater to your every whim." Silence in the bathroom. Malik closed his eyes. "I'm not going to baby you, Bakura. I just want you to-" The Egyptian blinked as the door was yanked open, a breathless Bakura on the threshold. His eyes were red-rimmed, cheeks flushed and lips slightly parted. "Oh."

"I want..." Bakura was shaking violently as he stood on the doorway, his eyes staring off into nothingness, unfocused. "I want..."

"Yes?" Malik tilted his head to one side, staring at Bakura. "... Do... Do you want to talk about Ryou? Or see if he's okay, or-"

"No!" Bakura panicked, shaking his head wildly, his hands tightening in the door frame. "No no no no." He repeated like a mantra eyes wide. "N-Not Ryou..." Malik looked away, trying to hide a deep sigh of annoyance.

"Yes, Ryou." He said patiently. It was like trying to negotiate with a child. "Look. We don't even know how he is yet. I'm going to call Yugi, and we're going to see what's going on. Then I'm going to make you something to eat, and something strong to drink, and then you're going to bed, okay?"

"I'm not a fucking _child._" Bakura snarled, angered. "Stop _talking _to me like that!" Malik sighed.

"Okay." He agreed. "But can I at least call and see how Ryou is doing?" Bakura shrugged weakly, before pushing past Malik and into the living room. He sat down heavily, with a long sigh, before raking his fingers through his hair. "I'll do that then."

"Whatever." Bakura muttered, staring down at the floor. "Do whatever the fuck you want." Malik picked up the phone with gritted teeth.

"Oh, I will." He muttered. "Because I do give a shit about Ryou, Bakura. And I know you do to."

"Don't." Bakura's head snapped up to glare daggers at the teenager. Malik returned the look, his hand on the phone shaking.

"You practically stopped _functioning _when you heard Ryou tried to kill himself." Malik's voice was shaking. "I know you care, don't you- Yugi!" Bakura froze. "Yeah, hi! I... I know it's not a good time right now... Yeah, we know about Bakura. That's why we called... He left a message on the phone. It was really messed up... Yeah? So, where is he now? ... Okay... Okay, yeah I get you. Where? Oh man... Okay... So, he _is_ fine? Yeah, Of course he would be upset... Yeah... Shit, we can't... We're having... Problems here... Yeah, he is... No, of course not... Pretty bad can't begin to explain it... When? Are you sure? ... Okay. Okay then, see you then? Yeah, okay. All right, bye." Bakura was silent as Malik hung up the phone, and sank onto the couch next to him.

"Well?" Bakura broke the silence a few endless moments later, his heart burning to know what had happened to Ryou. Malik swallowed, and straightened his back.

"Well." Malik flopped into the back of the couch, casting his eyes up to the ceiling. "Well, Ryou's alive." The yami tensed. "He overdosed on some anti-depressants. They found him, though, and took him to a doctor. Apparently, he's going to be fine, but really upset for the next little bit. We can go and see him tomorrow morning." Bakura made an odd, strangled noise in the back of his throat, and locked eyes with the blonde. "We're going to see him." Malik muttered through gritted teeth. "And don't try to get out of it. It's what needs to be done, and you know it."

"Not." Bakura's voice was hoarse. "It just needs to be left alone. I. Don't. Want. To. See. Him." He growled. Malik only rolled his eyes.

"You're not fooling anyone with that." He sighed, rubbing at his eyes. "Now stay there, I need to replace your bandages."

* * *

"That it?"

"Yeah."

"_Finally_!" Anzu brought the car to a stop, and leaned against the leather seat, sighing. "I'll stay in the car, you guys go get Bakura." Yugi nodded, and yanked open the car door, crawling into the night light. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat as he started running up the cracked walkway for the second time that day –and his life- his footsteps slowed as he approached the stood however, and he shrank away at the large, imposing door.

"Just knock." Yugi jumped at the deep, soothing voice behind him. He looked up into the face of Yami and smiled, before extending a hand and rapping his knuckles on the door. "You don't have to be scared."

"I'm not." Yugi mumbled as heavy footsteps sounded from within. "Just a bit worried about Bakura. What if he-"

"He's fine." Yami cut in. Before he could continue, however, the large door swung open, and the thick-set frame of Masato glowered down at them. "Hello."

"Money." He stuck a flat palm right in Yugi's face, his upper lip curling. "Now." Yugi frowned, and squared his shoulders, clenching his pocketed hands into fists.

"Where's my friends?" He challenged, frowning slightly as he looked up at the man. "Let them leave first."

"Give me my money first." Masato snarled. "I don't do compromise." Yugi took a deep breath, and opened his mouth.

"But I-"

"Give me the _fucking_ money!" The man roared, smashing a fist into the doorway. Yugi squeaked and jumped, and Yami's eyes widened, and he instinctively, protectively, placed his hands on the short teenagers' shoulders.

"Okay..." Yugi conceded, withdrawing a hand from his pocket, holding out the slim wad of bills. "It's all Jounouchi told me to bring." The man smirked as he snatched it from the boy, fanning it out in his fat fingers.

"...Good." He bared yellow teeth in a grin. "Very good. I must remember this obedience." Masato stepped back a little bit, and leaned back. "Oi Jou! Honda! The runt paid up! Now get the hell out of my house and take that emo kid with you before I change my mind." Yugi caught a glimpse of the room inside, worn shag carpet and faded wallpaper, torn couches lining the walls, coffee tables stacked with trashy magazines, and empty paper cups. _Some sort of waiting room_. Before he had time to examine the interior any further, Jounouchi and Honda blocked his view, pushing past Masato in their hurry to leave the house. "Good." There was no goodbye's as the man slammed the door shut in their faces, and the heavy stomps faded away.

"Bloody hell." Jounouchi sighed, looking exhausted. Yugi stared at the blonde, who was dead on his feet, and the brunette beside him, who was rubbing his eyes.

His shirt was covered in blood.

"What the..." Yugi's eyes widened, and his heart sank. "Honda, why..."

"It's not mine." Honda forced a smile. "Or Bakura's." For the first time, Yugi turned his attention to the whitenette. Ryou standing –albeit, leaning heavily on Jounouchi's shoulders, his feet barely touching the ground- his head on the blonde's shoulder. Jounouchi had an arm looped around Ryou's waist, and had forced a pale skinny arm around his own shoulders.

"H-He okay?" Yugi's mouth was dry as he stared at Ryou. Jounouchi nodded weakly, and turned away from the group, starting to walk down the walkway. "C-Conscious?"

"Barely." Jounouchi muttered gloomily. "He's awake, but really out of it. Just keeps muttering shit to himself to quiet you can barely hear. It's common for that to happen, don't worry." He added, catching Yugi's stricken expression. "He just needs to sleep it off, and he should be fine. Well, physically, anyway." He sighed, opening the car door with his free hand. Ryou groaned weakly as he was forced into the car with the blonde, his head lolling to one side. "Hey, it's okay buddy." He murmured consolingly as Yugi and Yami joined him. It was a tight fit, but they managed. "We're gonna take you home, and you can have a good long sleep, 'kay?"

"I don't think he can hear you." Honda remarked from the front seat as Anzu started the car. "He's off in la-la land." He forced a smile. "Poor kid... He'll be okay, but he's going to be distraught..."

"He is." Yugi looked over at Ryou. "We're really going to have to be here for him." Everyone in the car nodded in agreement.

"Why are you covered in blood?" Anzu inquired, concerned. "Honda, what happened?" The brunette sighed, and leaned against the car window, staring blankly at the road.

"Stab victim." He muttered. "In the stomach. They came in about twenty minutes after Bakura did. Masato's only nurse was dealing with him, so he forced us to help him... God, it was bloody awful." Anzu and Yugi looked stricken.

"Thats... That's not fair!" The boy protested. "They can't do that to you Honda, not if you were just a visitor, it's against the l-"

"The law?" Jounouchi snorted. "Please, Yugi, you saw that place. They're above the law. Well, they would like to think they were. That's not how they work. All they care about is keeping their money up and mortality rate down. And if you're in there and know a thing or two about how they work after being on the street... Then you have to help." He shrugged helplessly. "If we didn't do anything, they would have stopped treating Bakura. Probably kill him, if Masato was that spiteful..."

"That's still not fair." Yugi argued. "They can't-" _BRING!_ He was cut off bi his cell phone. Startled, the teenager pulled it out of his pocket, pressing it against his ear. "Hello?" The rest of the car listened intently, save for Ryou, who was groaning softly to himself, his head on Jounouchi's chest. "Malik! Look, Uh, this isn't the best time... What? How?... How did you find out?... Oh, okay... We're in Anzu's car, just came from the... The doctor. I'm not sure... We're somewhere on the West side. Just getting on the main street in a few blocks... Yeah, he's as fine as expected. He's not going to die or anything. He's going to be devastated though... So... Were you and the um, the spirit going to come around or something?... Oh, okay. He's not dealing with it well?... He's not happy about it at all? He's bad, isn't he... Okay, what about in the morning? Bakura'd have a good sleep then...No no, it's fine. He needs to see both of you... Okay, see you then." He hung up the phone, sighing deeply.

"... Well?" Jounouchi asked urgently. "What did Malik want?" His hold on Ryou tightened. Yugi swallowed, and bit his lip.

"He knew what Bakura had done." Yugi murmured. "Bakura called their house and left a suicide phone message... That was why the phone was in there." Yugi realised. "They'd only just heard it, and wanted to know what was going on. The spirit is apparently doing really really badly." Yami frowned down at his light. "What?"

"What do you mean, badly?" He asked. "You'd think he would be happy, it's what he wanted..."

"Yeah..." Yugi looked extremely thoughtful. "Apparently, he went all quiet, lost it, and went quiet again. He's actually really upset about it." Jounouchi kept his eyes on Ryou, frowning.

"It's not what he wants." He finally muttered. "He wants to be with Bakura, really deep down. That's why he's so upset." Jounouchi sighed. "But he'll never admit it to himself."

"You're right, Jou." Yugi sank into the car seat, exhausted. "And that's how this whole mess happened."

* * *

Awwhhh. Teartear hahaha.

HAHA R&R PEEPS!


	31. Chapter 31

HELLO ALL! XD

Yeah... Everything I ever said about how long this would take... throw it out the window. Because it's not going to happen. These chapters just WANT to be about 10,000 words long, and get split up into two parts... -.- I'm sorry.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

"We're home, Grandpa!" Yugi chorused, smiling weakly as he stepped over the threshold of his home, He held the door open for Anzu, Honda, Yami, and Jounouchi, who held the slim whitenette in his arms, semi-conscious. "Hello?"

"Anyone home?" Yami frowned, peering into the kitchen. "I don't think there is... Where would he be?"

"Dunno." The teenager shrugged, before a note on the counter caught his eye. "Hey, look, Granpda left us something!"

"What's it say?" Anzu's interest was sparked. Jounouchi looked down at Ryou, biting his lip.

"Hey, I'm going to put Bakura down to bed, okay?" The blonde looked around to the rest of them, who nodded. Jounouchi flicked another gaze down to Ryou, sighing deeply as he stared at half-lidded brown eyes, cloudy and unfocused. _He's awake... ish, but he has no idea what's going on_. _Poor kid._ He left the front room, and started making his way down the hallway, holding Ryou tightly in his arms. The teenager moaned weakly, his eyelids flickering. "Hey, it's okay." Jounouchi tried his hardest to be calm and soothing. "I'm just taking you down to bed, okay?" Ryou groaned, softly, frowning slightly as Jounouchi opened his bedroom door. "There we go..." He muttered softly, stretching Ryou out on his bed. He found a blanket, folded at the foot, and dragged it over Ryou's still form. "You're going to be okay, Bakura." He murmured weakly, still shocked that Ryou would even _do_ this in the first place, as he perched on the edge of the bed. "I know –we all know- That when you wake up, you're gonna be really upset after all of this. But I swear that I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that you're going to come out of this okay. I know we're not as close as what we used to be, but I promise, I'm still going to try my hardest. Cos Goddamn it, I just feel so guilty for letting this happen to you in the first place. I feel guilty for saying that shit to Yugi, that we shouldn't intervene. But I didn't know this would happen. N-No one knew this would happen..." He leaned back, against the headboard, and sighed deeply. "If we did, we would have stopped this. You know we would have." Ryou's eyes were only cracked open, confused and unfocused. "You're sleepy, aren't you?" Jounouchi forced the tiniest of smiles. "That happens." He leaned forward, so he could gently stroke Ryou's long white hair, smooth it out into place. The whitenette stirred, and Jounouchi withdrew his hand, biting his lip. Ryou turned over once however, and closed his eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.

"Jou?" The blonde jumped as Yugi entered the room a few minutes later, closing the door behind himself. "Is he okay?" He asked softly, rubbing at his eyes tiredly, exhausted.

"I think he's asleep." Jounouchi looked up at the ceiling for a long moment. "Yeah, he should be okay. Well, it depends on what you mean by okay..."

"He's not going to die is he?" Yugi murmured, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Right now, that's all that matters. I just want him to live-"

"He will." Jounouchi interjected. "Yugi, he's not going to die in his sleep or anything. We have to worry about how he feels inside. He's going to be so incredibly upset by this all. We have to offer our support, and let him know we care."

"I know." Yugi sighed. "And... I-I feel so terrible for letting this in the first place. I just feel like there's something I could have possibly said that would help him feel better and just stop it..."

"Yugi, there's not." Jounouchi murmured softly. "Please, stop beating yourself up over this."

* * *

"You going to get out of bed this morning?" Malik sighed as he leaned against the doorway. Bakura was facing the window, away from Malik, and only made a low grunt in his throat, as opposed to any real acknowledgement of his existence. "Huh?"

"Fuck off." He finally mumbled, before burying his face in the pillow. There was no way around it- He just felt like shit. Bakura had barely slept the night before, and was up for hours tossing and turning. All he could think about was Ryou. Sweet, innocent cheerful Ryou, and what he had been reduced to. To a stick-thin, depressed, suicidal shadow of himself. And_ it was all his fault_. There was no way Bakura could ever attempt to put the blame on anyone else, he knew that. The fault was his, and his alone. Abandoning Ryou and forcing him to be alone the way he had was easily the worst thing he had done to him. At least when he was abusing Ryou, lying to him and beating him, he was still _around_.

"I know you're guilty." Malik mumbled, slowly crossing the room. "And it's okay to feel like that. After what you've done, you have every right to feel guilty-"

"Shut the _fuck_ up." Bakura snarled, sitting straight up and glaring at Malik. "I have _nothing_ to be guilty about!"

"You do!" Malik shot back. "Goddamn Bakura, you've destroyed the one person in the world that you've ever loved!"

"He deserved it all!" Bakura retorted, slowly climbing off the bed. "He deserved it because he slept with _you!"_

"You said yourself it wasn't his fault!" Malik screamed. "You said that it was all mine! Bloody hell Bakura, you're not being anywhere near fair to him!"

"I. Don't. _Care!"_ Bakura shouted. "I don't care about him anymore, Malik! What part of that do you not understand?" Malik opened his mouth to retort, but closed it again, and heaved a long, long sigh, closing his eyes.

"... Okay." He finally mumbled. "Okay. I'm not going to go there again. Look." Malik sank onto the edge of the mattress. "I'm going over to Yugi's at nine. I am going to see Ryou and talk to him and show that I still think the world of him. You should –no, you are _going-_ to come with me. And you are going to look Ryou in the eye, and I _bet_ you couldn't repeat those things to him that you said when you first woke up." Words failed Bakura at that. He merely shot Malik a cold, stony glare that could curdle milk, looking as though he wanted nothing more than to beat Malik into a pulp.

"Fuck you." He muttered through gritted teeth, his hands shaking.

* * *

"He's waking up." Yami stood up, and stuck his head through the ajar door. "Guys, he's waking up!" Yami rushed back to Ryou's bedside, bending over this skinny teenager in concern.

The group had arranged to have at least one person at Ryou's bedside throughout the night, purely so the teenager would have someone next to him when he woke up. Everyone agreed that it would feel like the worst thing ever, waking up after a suicide attempt alone. It meant that everyone was tired, especially Anzu and Jounouchi, who took turns being up in the early, early morning, and couldn't get back to sleep, but it was all worth it, just to make sure poor Ryou felt a little bit better when he woke up.

Ryou's eyelids twitched, and his hands momentarily clenched, and then unclenched. Yami held his breath, and leaned over the whitenette a little more. He noticed that Ryou's hair was all over his face, and he slowly started to brush it away.

At that moment, Ryou's eyes slowly opened. His chocolate-brown eyes were hazy unfocused for a second, before they settled on Yami who hovered over him, a hand still on his face. Instinctively, Ryou screamed, and pushed the spirit away, who staggered back in shock. By the time he recollected himself, Ryou was curled in a fetal position underneath the blankets, which were pulled up over his head, and was shaking violently. Waking up to those hands on him, that face over his... It brought back painful, painful memories.

_It was Yami._ Ryou's heart sank in recognition. Although he was still half-asleep, the teen was managing to come up with some semi-coherent thoughts. _Wait... I'm in bed. Yami is here... Oh no... I'm still alive. I didn't die. Someone stopped me. Oh no, I didn't die..._ With that, with the emotion and pain and confusion, Ryou started to cry.

"What's going on?" Jounouchi demanded as he pushed the door open. He stared at Yami, for a moment, and down to Ryou, who was sobbing underneath the blankets. "What did you do?"

"I did nothing!" Yami bristled at the accusation, crossing his arms. Jounouchi only sighed and rolled his eyes, before pushing pas him and sitting slowly on the edge of the bed.

"Bakura?" Jounouchi inquired softly, before slowly reaching out, and placing his hand on the little huddled form underneath the blankets. As he hoped, it stilled, and Ryou's sobs quietened. "Look... Can we just talk about this? Please?" Ryou sniffed underneath the blankets. _What does he want to talk about? What is there to talk about? I tried to kill myself and they stopped be._

_Because they care. They care about me. They want me to live._ The thought was extremely comforting, but Ryou was still depressed. What they refused to understand was that _he_ didn't want to be alive. Not when his life was full of so much misery. It just didn't seem _worth_ it anymore. _And they still took it all away from me. All I wanted was to just get out of this, and they denied it of me... Why did they do this? It's so obvious it's what I wanted..._

"Bakura, we just want to talk to you." Jounouchi pleaded. "We just want to know what to do to help you. Why is that so wrong?" Ryou buried his face into the mattress, hoping that Jounouchi would take the hint, and just leave him alone. "Bakura, you can't just stay there." The blonde argued. "It don't work like that. What are you gonna do, stay under that blanket for the rest of your life, huh? Just hiding away from everyone? Just come out and talk to us. _Please._"

"... Go away." Ryou finally whimpered underneath the blankets, clearly having no intentions of facing Jounouchi. "Leave me alone." Jounouchi sighed deeply, and rubbed at his eyes.

"No." He muttered, gritting his teeth. "I'm not gonna leave you, Bakura."

"Go away." Ryou repeated, his tearful voice muffled underneath the sheets. Yami leaned against the wall, staring at Jounouchi intently. The blonde ignored the look, and bent over Ryou, grabbing at the blankets.

"Talk to me." He argued, Ryou's stubborn attitude starting to get to him. "I just wanna talk. That's all. I'm not gonna judge you or anything, I swear."

"No." Ryou protested, holding his hands over his face. Jounouchi bit his lip, before tensing his hold on the blankets, and tearing them away from Ryou's skinny form. Before Ryou could even have a chance to gasp, Jounouchi grabbed his bony arms, and forced him to sit up, so they were eye-level. Ryou pressed his lips together, and looking pointedly away, his eyes dull and faded. "Let go." He muttered weakly, tears evident in his voice, and gave a weak, half-hearted attempt to drag himself out of Jounouchi's hands. The blonde held firm, however, doing his best to look Ryou in the eye.

"I'm not letting go." He muttered in a low, even voice. "I'm not going to just let you crawl back into bed and mope. It's not helping you, Bakura. You need to talk about this with us, and tell us how you all feel." Ryou, who was listening to the speech, slowly shook his head.

"No." He whispered weakly, blinking. Tears trickled down his face. "I-I don't want to talk..." Ryou sniffed. Jounouchi bit back a groan, and momentarily looked up at the ceiling.

"Then how can we help?" He struggled to keep his voice calm, Ryou frustrating him. The whitenette slowly shifted his gaze, and, for the first time, he looked Jounouchi full in the face.

"Y-You should have let me die." He uttered lowly, a strange, uncharacteristic look on his face. Jounouchi blinked, and stared at Ryou with wide, shocked eyes. "Why didn't you let me die?" Ryou blurted out tearfully, and punched Jounouchi in the chest. The blonde gasped, as the bony little fist punching him actually hurt, and was partially winded as another blow landed in the centre of his chest. "Why didn't you let me die!" Ryou repeated, his tone angrier this time as he punched Jounouchi again, shaking in anger. Anger at Jounouchi's intervention. Anger at the fact that he was denied his only true escape from his personal hell. "Why won't you-" Ryou gasped as Jounouchi grabbed a hold of his wrist, and tightened his hold on it. He weakly threw his other arm, but the blonde grasped that too, squeezing the fragile bones as he looked Ryou full in the eye. Jounouchi opened his mouth to say something, to berate Ryou for reacting in such a way, but he found he just couldn't. He couldn't be angry at Ryou for had happened. He sort of... Deserved it. Jounouchi closed his mouth again, and looked away, as Ryou collapsed in a flood of tears. The younger teenager slowly bowed his head, his hair hiding his face as he cried. Jounouchi slowly opened out his arms, offering a comforting embrace, which Ryou gratefully accepted, burying his face in the crook of Jounouchi's neck. The blonde's shoulders were slumped as he loosely wrapped his arms around Ryou's back, scooting closer to the teenager to make Ryou more comfortable. Jounouchi locked eyes with Yami, and jerked his head towards the bed. Yami blinked, but nodded a few moments later in understanding. The spirit slowly sank onto the bed behind Ryou, his toes touching the floor.

"We never wanted this to happen to you." Jounouchi muttered, staring at Yami. "We would never just let you die. Why would we want to do that to you?" Ryou hiccupped, and shook his head, sniffing.

"B-But i-it's what I wanted..." Ryou whispered, sobbing. Jounouchi groaned, and shook his head violently.

"It's what you think you wanted." He tried to be rational. "But it's not really. Who wants to die, Bakura? Really. You just wanted some way to escape all of the hurt... Suicide isn't the answer for that."

"No." Ryou mumbled thickly, still sobbing. "Y-You d-don't get it. It's so much more than that. Y-you just don't understand... Why wont you just leave me alone..."

"I'm not." Jounouchi muttered, starting to get a little annoyed at Ryou, who was seemingly refusing to even try to be a little less depressed. "Look. I've had enough of you moping around the place like a dying swan. That never helps. Maybe if you're in a happy place, the happiness will rub off on you."

"Really?" Yami interjected, raising an eyebrow. Jounouchi only shot him a withering glare, before shifting his hold on Ryou, until one hand was under his legs and the other around his shoulders. Ryou whimpered softly at the change.

"Come on." Jounouchi muttered, standing up with Ryou still in his arms. The whitenette realised, too late, what the male was trying to do, and cried out, starting to struggle. Jounouchi only tightened his hands on Ryou, and started to walk across the room. "Open the door for us." He instructed Yami, who jumped off the bed, nodding.

"J-Jou, I don't _want_ to be with people!" Ryou protested, tears still leaking from his eyes. "I-I just want to be alone to think-"

"Not a chance." Jounouchi said easily as he walked into the lounge, still holding the teen. Yugi and Anzu both looked up from their positions on the floor, and Honda snored on the couch.

"L-Let go!" Ryou thrashed around in Jounouchi's arms, pushing against him in protest. "Please!"

"What's going on?" Yugi cried out as he stood up, staring at Jounouchi and Ryou. "Jou... What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to get Ryou out of his depression." Came the matter-of-fact reply, as he crossed the lounge, Ryou still struggling. "Oi, get up." He muttered towards Honda, who merely just tolled over, continuing to snore. "Hey!" Jounouchi sighed, shaking his head at the teen, who had crashed right off to sleep after his bedside watch with Ryou around midnight. "Come on Honda..." Yami came to the rescue, and, wincing as he did so, rolled Honda off of the couch and onto the floor, where he fell with a thump, wrapped up in a blanket.

"Jou, please!" Ryou protested fruitlessly as he was dumped unceremoniously on the couch, staring up at the blonde. "I-I don't want-"

"Bakura, stop it!" Jounouchi stepped over Honda, who rubbed his head, groaning. The blonde was really at the end of his tether by this point. "I am sick of hearing that, okay? Listen to yourself! All you're focused on is how much you want to die! You've totally given up on everything and it's just sad!" Ryou sat frozen on the couch, wide-eyed. "All of us were up for hours and hours last night taking care of you Bakura! And I had to help that goddamn doctor pump your bloody stomach after your little stunt with those pills. Do you have any idea how heart-breaking that is? We all worked so hard to make sure that you were okay, a-and you just sit there and say that you wish that we failed! We don't want you to die, Bakura! We care about you!" Jounouchi drew in a deep breath. "Look. Trying to kill yourself is so bloody selfish, Bakura." He tried a calmer tack. "Why couldn't you have talked to us, and told you how you felt? We would have listened! We would have helped to make you feel better! Doing this solves nothing! All it does is apparently make things better for you! What about the people you would have left behind? What about us? None of us would be able to take you dying, Bakura! God, we would have all fallen apart. But you don't even think about that, you just decide to take the easiest way out-"

"Jounouchi, stop." Yugi murmured, staring wide-eyed at Ryou. The teenager was curled up in the tightest ball he could manage, as far away from Jounouchi in the corner of the couch. His hands were over his mouth, and he was silently crying, warm brown orbs wide with fear. Guilt flooded Jounouchi's insides as he stared down at the whitenette, twisting and turning in chest. Swearing loudly, Jounouchi spun on his heel, and closed his eyes, grabbing handfuls of messy blonde locks. No one in the room could look at him. Honda slowly stood up, staring at Jounouchi as though he was staring at a stranger. No one, in all of the years that they had known him, had ever dared to yell at Bakura, or even been remotely unkind to him, not even after the dramas of whatever the spirit of the ring had caused. And to yell at him, call him selfish and cowardly when he was so depressed seemed almost monstrous.

"Jounouchi man." Honda murmured, eyes wide, his hands at his sides. Ryou bowed his head, which he buried in his knees, crying weakly. "What the hell was that for? He didn't do anything wrong-"

"He tried to kill himself!" Jounouchi shot back, his hands shaking. "How can you say that's not wrong!" The blonde turned around to glare at Honda. To the brunette's eternal shock, there were tears in his friends' eyes. "Huh?"

"Bakura's messed up." Honda murmured, his lips barely moving. "We all get off days, but off weeks... months. Hell, when it stretches into almost a year... Come on Jou, be reasonable here."

"... You were there." Jounouchi swallowed. "You were the only other person there. You were there to see the whole awful thing. H-How can you say that's not wrong Honda?" The brunette only sighed, and looked away, gritting his teeth. "That's what I thought."

"Jou, no." Honda swore under his breath as Jounouchi started to walk out of the room, silent and angry. "Come on, this isn't fair-" He followed the blonde, leaving Yugi, Anzu, Yami, and Ryou in the room, an awkward silence pressing in on them.

"He didn't mean it, Bakura." Yugi finally murmured weakly. He took a seat on the couch, his hands in his lap. "You know him. He got hardly any sleep last night. He was in your room almost all of the time... He really cares about you, Bakura. I-I don't... Well, I don't understand this level of concern... But he does care so much." He reassured the whitenette, who slowly lifted his head from his knees.

"W-We used to talk a lot." Ryou murmured, as though in a dream. "About a lot of things. There were things he said to me that he never shared with anything else. And even in these past couple of weeks, we've been talking a lot." Yugi frowned.

"Do... Do you want to tell me?" He asked, tilting his head to one side. Ryou shook his head silently, rubbing at his eyes.

"I swore not to tell anyone." Ryou's voice sounded far away. "I can't break that." Yugi nodded sombrely. "I-I'm cold..."

"Of course." Yugi nodded. "You're only in boxers and a shirt and it's cold out... It's been a really cold spring so far."

"I-It has." Ryou tried to quell the violent shaking of his arms, and sighed in relief as the thick blanket was draped over his skinny frame. "Th-Thank you." He looked down, swallowing. "What's the time?"

"Quarter past eight." Yugi's eyes widened in recognition. _Malik and the spirit were coming over at nine_..._ Oh dear_. Ryou nodded weakly, and burrowed down under his blanket, his hair spread out around him like a fan, his head on the pillow. "You okay?" It was a natural thing, really. Yugi did it without thinking.

"... No." Ryou muttered in a deadpan tone, nuzzling the pillow to try and soothe his itching nose. "... I'm tired." He pulled the blanket up to his nose, and turned away pointedly, staring at the back of the couch as opposed to his friends.

"You didn't come out into the living room just to sleep." Yugi argued, mindful of the time. "Wanna watch some TV? I can get you a book-"

"I'll just have a nap for now." Ryou cut in demurely. "I'm so tired..." He sighed, trying to relax his tense muscles. "Just for a few hours, please?" Yugi ran a hand through his hair, exchanging a quick glance with Yami, but finally gave in, and nodded.

"But you can't..." Anzu frowned, confused. "I thought that Ma-"

"We're making a big breakfast," Yugi jumped in, shaking his head at Anzu. "You need to eat Ryou."

"... I don't feel like eating." He murmured gently, sniffing. "I just wanna sleep..."

"Please, eat something." Yugi begged, crouching down beside the couch. "Look at yourself. If you keep this up you're going to... to..."

"Starve to death." Ryou muttered dully, the blankets up around his neck. "I know." Yugi bit his lip, wringing his hands together.

"Bakura, please." He implored. "Come on. You can't be thinking like that. None of us want you to think like that. W-We just want you to get better... Why would you even for one second think about starving yourself to death?" Anzu sank into an arm chair, holding her head in her hands, totally stressed and exhausted.

"B-Because." Ryou breathed, wiping his eyes on the corner of his blanket. "It's not as bad as it sounds, Yugi. I-I don't even feel hungry anymore." Yugi shook his head, trying so hard not to cry.

"Y-You can't be like this." He murmured tearfully. "You _can't_." Ryou was silent. "Bakura, y-you don't understand." Yugi swallowed deeply, rubbing at his eyes. "I don't ever want to have to do it, b-but if you being like this, I-I have no choice."

"Keep being like what?" A little cold threat of fear welled up in Ryou's stomach. "What choice?"

"I-I can't keep looking after you if you're like this." Yugi's voice cracked as he rested his hands on the couch cushions. "I-If you're not eating and you're suicidal... God, I can't help you Bakura. And I'll never let you die. Even if I have to give you to someone who can help. I-I'm not gonna let you go."

"... What?" Ryou slowly sat up, staring wide-eyed at Yugi. "Wh-what do you mean..." His mouth fell open in recognition, and he shook his head. _"No."_

"Then tell me what to do!" Yugi wiped hurriedly at his eyes. "Tell me how to help you, Bakura! I-I can't do anything. Th-The only other option is to make sure you're in the care of people who can."

"You wouldn't." Ryou gasped in disbelief. "You would _never_ send me to a hospital... You know what they would do there, Yugi. I-I wouldn't be allowed out for years. I'd rather be dead than go there!"

"You'd rather be dead than anywhere." Yugi reminded his friend weakly. "That threat doesn't hold any power if you're suicidal Bakura. _Please_, start eating and at least try to be a little happier... I-I don't want to do it but if you leave me with no other option..."

"I-I thought you were my friend." Ryou mumbled, drawing his knees up to his chest, twig-like arms encircling his legs. "How could you even suggest this?"

"Because I _am_ your friend!" Yugi pleaded. "Because I do care so much. And I don't want you to die, Bakura. None of us do. We just want you better. Why is that apparently so bad?"

"Because I _can't_ get better." Ryou wailed. "Yugi, you're not _listening _to me! You think I'm just going to wake up one morning and erase the last eighteen months of my life? You think that after everything that has happened, it wouldn't have some kind of effect on me?"

"No, I don't think like that at all." Yugi replied gently, trying to regain a hold of himself. I just think that you're going about this all the wrong way." Ryou only sighed, and shook his head, obviously getting a little annoyed.

"But you don't know how I _feel_." Ryou said. "You don't understand the pain of having the best thing that's happened to you in years and years ripped away from you. I felt like I'd lost him twice. Do you know how awful that is? Do you have any idea how awful that would feel?"

"No, I wouldn't." Yugi finally conceded in that aspect. "But... It's as though you've totally given up on yourself. Like you've convinced yourself that life isn't with living and there's no point at all to go on. That's not true at all. You're refusing to see all of the good things... And it's so _sad._"

"But the good things... They don't outweigh the bad things." Ryou tried to explain. "That's what I'm trying to say. It's like my life is nothing but these big black storm clouds, and there's just one paper-thin silver lining and it's not _worth it._" Ryou sighed, and flopped against the arm of the couch. Yugi wasn't listening, he didn't _understand_. How could he? He'd never even come close to losing Yami. And sure, they shared a relationship what was probably stronger than what Ryou and Bakura once had, but it was so different. They were brothers, more than lovers.

_Why aren't they even trying to understand?_ Ryou was frustrated to tears. Here he was, pouring his heart out to these people, who, it seemed like, were just refusing to even listen. He didn't realise that Yugi and Yami, especially, knew where Ryou's heart-breaking loneliness and misery came from, but they just didn't understand how it was depressing Ryou to the point of trying to kill himself.

_What's the point?_ Ryou gave up trying to explain himself. _They'll never understand._

_

* * *

_

Eww... Ryou's turning all emo XD Jokes jokes

R&R!!


	32. Chapter 32

Wooht! HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYOU!!

Now to do what I do every September 2nd.. PARTY LIKE ITS 1999!!!

You must admit, that is the best sort of party.

* * *

"I'm not doing this." Bakura snarled, glaring at the closed front door, his arms crossed. "It's _bullshit._" Malik only sighed, stuffing the car keys in Bakura's coat pocket for him, fluffing his hair out from under his jacket. "It is." He muttered sharply, tossing the blonde a glance.

"No, it's not." Malik argued, standing outside the Game Shop with Bakura. "Come on. I know how upset you were when you first heard Ryou tried to kill himself. I was there, remember?"

"I wasn't upset." Bakura growled, rolling his eyes. "Look. Ryou once meant a lot to me, okay? Finding out that he might be dead came as a bit of a shock." He struggled to keep a tremor out of his voice.

"Shock?" Malik turned to Bakura and raised his eyebrow. "You were totally out of it. You went nuts! You can't deny that, Bakura." The white-haired spirit only snorted, and shook his head. "What?"

"Look, just shut up." Bakura growled in his throat. "I don't even wanna be here. I just wanna go in, do whatever the fuck I have to do, and leave, all right?" Malik crossed his arms, shaking his head. "What?"

"You're not going to just go in and say hi." Malik muttered. "You are going to go in there and make him feel _better_ about himself."

"Or what?" Bakura shot back, clenching his hand into fists. "Huh?"

"... You know what I can do." Malik shot Bakura one last look, before turning back to the front door, rapping his knuckles against the glass. "Give me a reason, and I could take you on."

"Bullshit you could." Bakura snarled, his eyes boring a hole on the back of Maliks' head. The Egyptian only snorted derisively, shaking his head.

"You're passing out all over the place, Bakura, you're that weak right now." He informed the yami. "And you're as unstable as hell. You know who would win a fight between us."

"... Fuck you." Bakura shook in anger. He would have perhaps thrown a punch at Malik, but at that moment, the door opened, and Jounouchi stared at the pair, one hand on the doorknob.

"... You're late." The blonde muttered mildly, staring at the pair. Malik shrugged, forcing a weak smile, and Bakura only growled, frowning at Jounouchi.

"... Yeah." Malik gave Bakura a quick look. "_Someone_ had to practically be dragged out the door, they were that overjoyed at the prospect of coming-"

"Oh, just shut up, Malik." Bakura spat, clenching his hands into fists. Malik simply shrugged Bakura's threat of violence away, and stepped over the doorway, following Jounouchi into the house. Bakura stood outside on the street by himself for a few moments, before heaving a great long sigh, and following the other two, slamming the door behind him.

"How's he doing?" Malik leaned over to mutter in Jounouchi's ear. Jou sighed, and shrugged hopelessly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Bad." He murmured gloomily. "He wont listen to us... He's angry at us for saving his life in the first place." Malik sighed deeply. "Yeah. We got him to eat a bit of breakfast, but he's not happy about it. You two have gotta do something about it. We've all tried, and it's just not getting through..."

"I don't know what I can do." Malik paused beside the door to the lounge. "I don't think he's even going to listen to me. Ba- the spirit's the only person he's going to listen to."

"But he's not going to bring himself to talk to Bakura." Jounouchi groaned. "You know he wont."

"I know." Malik sighed, before pushing open the door, and stepping into the lounge. His attention was immediately drawn to the little white-haired figure huddled up on the couch, under a thick blanket. "... Hey." Malik finally muttered, walked closer to the couch, shoving his hands in his pockets. Ryou, who had been staring at the TV in a glassy-eyed daze, snapped up from the screen, and fixated on Malik. Ryou's eyes lit up, and a smile played on his lips as he jumped up from the couch, almost in shock.

"Malik!" He ran into the Egyptians arms, burying his head in the crook of his neck. Malik was silent as he wrapped his arms tightly around the whitenette's skinny frame, resting his head on Ryou's fluffy white head. After a few moments, Ryou broke away a little to look up into wide lavender eyes. "Wh-Why are you here?"

"To see you, silly." Malik smiled, his insides warming at Ryou's temporary happiness. "Ryou, you're my best friend. No amount of anger and hurt is gonna change that. Why didn't you call me before you did this? What on earth was going through your head?"

"... I-I thought you hated me." Ryou slowly murmured, resting his head against Maliks' chest, his eyes half-lidded. "Y-You were so angry..."

"That doesn't mean I hate you." Malik sighed, tightening his hold on Ryou. "I still care about you, okay?" Ryou shrugged weakly, sniffing. "Look... I know it's small comfort right now, but I do..."

"O-Oh Malik..." Ryou weakly mumbled, nuzzling the Egyptians shirt. "That's not true. Knowing you care means so much to me..." The whitenette sniffed, relaxing in Maliks' arms. "I feel like you're all I have anymore... You don't know how relieved I am to know you still care."

"Well... I didn't come here alone." Malik murmured lowly, taking a step back. Ryou blinked, confused.

"What?" Ryou tilted his head to one side, and bit his lip. Finally, he noticed the tall, white-haired figure standing in the doorway, his hands at his sides. The teenagers' eyes widened, and he took a step back as his mouth fell open. Ryou felt oddly numb. _'Kura_...

Words failed Bakura as he stared at Ryou, feeling sick. His little Ryou... He looked _awful_. Stick-thin, his eyes seemed too large for his face, dark purple rings under them like ink smudges. His hair hung limply, and his clothes seemed at least two sizes too big for him. He just looked like a scarecrow. Or some kind of abandoned mannequin, skin stretched over a model skeleton. _I've done this to him. This my fault. _Ryou had never looked that sick before. In the supermarket, the park, Ryou hadn't looked that debilitated. This just seemed so wrong. It was... haunting. Bakura locked eyes with Ryou, his heart skipping a beat as he did so. He stared at the slim teenager, clenching his hands. _This isn't right... He looks like total shit_. Part of him called out to Ryou, and he just didn't know why. He didn't understand what it was that he was really feeling. Everyone else the room, Malik, Yugi, Yami... They melted away, faded out of his recognition. Bakura didn't notice, didn't care about them at all. All he could do was stare into Ryou's wide, shadowed eyes, his hands shaking at his sides.

Ryou licked his lips, his heart thudding like a drum in his chest. He didn't know what emotion was taking president in his chest at that moment –Shock, and trepidation, of seeing Bakura there, just a few feet away from him, or the overwhelming joy that Bakura was _here_, to see him. Bakura was still slowly walking towards him, totally silent, eyes so expressive, and yet at the same time, so hidden...

_What do I say?_ Bakura stood less than a foot away, staring at that thin little face framed by lank white hair, his mouth dry. _What the __**fuck**__ do I say to him? _Bakura knew what he would have said, in a perfect world. He would have taken Ryou into his arms, held him, stroked his hair, and whispered sweet words of comfort before slowly lulling him to sleep. But Bakura's pride, his pride and the pure knowledge of what Ryou had done were stopping him from even considering taking the quiet, gentle option.

_I have to do something._ Bakura's hands at his side were quivering as he slowly raised them, staring at the teenager, his gaze still locked with Ryou's eyes. The whitenette's breathing was shallow as he looked at Bakura, his cheeks flushed, slightly. Bakura was equally as nervous as Ryou, his hands on either side of Ryou's face, just inches apart, looking as though he wanted to cup his cheeks. In all reality, the set-up was looking just like a kiss were about to take place._ Do it do it do it do it do it do it_... The little voice in his head piped up earnestly. Bakura wrinkled his nose in a snarl, but never broke his piercing gaze with Ryou, astonished. How could it be that someone he loved, someone he was so incredibly close to at some point seemed like such a stranger? No, not a stranger, never a stranger... But how could being around him feel so... uncomfortable? Bakura felt clumsy and stupid. Like anything he would say or do would be wrong. But that would be okay though, because Ryou was in reality, nothing but a cheating slut who needed to feel the same level of misery and rejection-

_No._ Ryou swallowed as something flickered in Bakura's eyes, and blinked, unwittingly breaking the spell between them. Bakura's lip curled, and his eyes smouldered. _He tried to kill himself. Doesn't that prove that he's experienced enough hurt and pain over this? Take him back. For the love of God take him back before you lose him together._

In a perfect world, Bakura would have listened to his conscience. He would have taken Ryou in his arms, twirled him in the air two or three times for good measure, and then kissed him, long and deep and passionately, before holding him tightly, burying his nose in Ryou's neck, and embracing him as though his life depended on it.

But in the non-perfect, realistic world, Bakura slapped Ryou.

It was more to shut the voice in his head up, more than any actual anger he felt towards Ryou (Which was far outweighed by guilt and affection at that point, if he would ever admit it to himself). It was a quick, firm smack across the face, earning a gasp from Ryou, who held a hand to his burning cheek. And with that motion, all of the shock and rage and anger and guilt he felt towards Ryou started to pour out.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" Bakura raged, grabbing at Ryou's bony shoulders as he towered over him. "Why the hell did you do that yourself? Huh?" Large brown eyes welled up with tears, and his lip trembled. "Stop looking at me like that!" Bakura added, tightening his bony fingers in Ryou's shoulders.

"B-But I..." Ryou merely uttered three short syllables, before Bakura pushed him, hard. Ryou fell back from the force, and into an armchair, where he looked up at Bakura with large frightened eyes.

"Shut the fuck up and _listen_ to me!" Bakura's nose was inches from Ryou, his hands on the arms' of the chair. Yami, who was watching from the sidelines, tensed, but Malik shot him a look that kept him in his place. _Leave them. They have to sort this out._ "There is no reason for you to be acting like some pathetic child, Ryou!" The teenager mouthed wordlessly, shaking. "For Gods' sake, suicide? How the hell could you even think about this? You! You are so much fucking stronger than that! You know you are. I've seen you put up with all kinds of shit, Ryou! Look at what you went through when you were nine! Look how well you fucking handled it! Look at what I did to you! And yet when you have one little relationship issue, you freak out and try to kill yourself!" Malik winced, shaking his head. _This really isn't going the way I even hoped..._ "I know you have issues, but you're so much more above this, you idiot!" Bakura screamed. "Do you have any idea about how worried you made people feel, pulling shit like this? It's not necessary!"

"Bakura-" Malik tried to cut in when Bakura drew in a breath, but his interruption went unheeded.

"What the hell do you have to be killing yourself over, huh?" Bakura tightened his hands on the chair arms, Ryou totally still in the chair, looking up at Bakura in pure fear. "So you fucked it up with me! Firstly, you have more to your life than your relationship with me, brat! What about school, huh? What about all of your friends? And secondly, you lost me through your own fault, because you saw it fit to be a cheating _slut_-_"_

"Bakura, stop!" Malik had had enough of the verbal abuse, and rushed to Ryou's side. "Look, we get the point, okay? It wasn't the right choice, we understand that-"

"Malik, _shut up!"_ Bakura turned around to glare at the Egyptian. "You're the one who dragged me down here, remember? And so I'm not allowed to tell it to Ryou like it is now?" Malik opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, Bakura had turned back to Ryou, who he glared at savagely.

"You're being so melodramatic over this!" He shouted, swinging right back into his fearful rage. "Have you seemed to forgotten that kid who refused to let anything get to him? No matter what happened Ryou, you kept your head up and kept going because you were _strong_. And you still are! You are one of the strongest people I know, And... And quitting out on yourself like this..." Bakura shook his head. "It's just weak." Ryou was still staring at Bakura, unable to form any words. Deep down, he knew it was all true, but losing Bakura, feeling such deep pain and misery... It made him forget. Or, it certainly made sure he didn't _feel_ strong. "You're life is not over." Bakura's teeth were gritted as he lowered his voice, pouring his heart out to Ryou, without even thinking about what he was saying. "Look at yourself. You really think that getting into a relationship with someone else is gonna be so hard? You've had people lining up just to take you out on a date for years. And I know about your school, and that doesn't matter either. You've been going for too long anyway. You're smart enough and pretty enough to get a good paying job. And besides," At this, a strange, twisted leer formed on Bakura's face, as he leaned in even closer to Ryou, their noses inches apart. He whispered the words, loud enough for only Ryou to hear, and for Malik to hear snatches of. "You could be a whore so easily. You already sleep around-"

Ryou slapped Bakura. In his pure outrage at the untrue, simply malicious statement, the teenager hit Bakura, slapping across the face with all of the strength he could muster. The spirit shied away, eyes widening as he stared at Ryou. Malik took a step back, his mouth falling open, and the others in the room all gasped. Bakura was perfectly still for a second, staring at Ryou, who was trembling, his hands clenching his knees, white-knuckled.

"You fucking _bitch!" _Bakura raged, grabbing at Ryou's shoulders. He pushed the teenager into the couch, shaking with fury. "I'll fucking _kill_ you!"

"Bakura, no!" Malik panicked, grabbing at the back of Bakura's shirt. "Stop this!" Ryou squeaked, and shrank away from the yami, hiding his face in his hands. "Ryou didn't mean it!"

"Yes he did!" Bakura roared, tightening his hold on Ryou. "You fucking slut, how _dare_ you do that!" He was almost blinded by his rage towards Ryou. _What the hell? Who does he think he is, doing that to me? I'm going to make him pay._

"Bakura, don't!" Malik finally managed to wrench Bakura away from Ryou, grabbing his arms. "Stop this now." He tried to talk to Bakura, tried to make him see reason, but he knew it was futile. Bakura wouldn't look Malik in the eye. Instead, he settled for shooting Ryou smouldering glares, who trembled under the yami's stare.

"Let me go." Bakura spat, struggling against Maliks' hold. "That fucking bitch, I have to make him pay-"

"No!" Malik retorted, shaking his head violently. "Bakura, I heard what you said, and that was _not _called for! Ryou is not a goddamn slut and you know it! He's just a confused kid who makes _one_ mistake-"

"Stop!" Ryou blurted out the word tearfully, his shoulders heaving with sobs. "Both of you, just stop it!"

"Don't you start!" Bakura lashed out at Ryou, his eyes still locked with the boy. "You started this!"

"How?" Ryou was in tears. "How did _I _start this? Y-You were one who started yelling at me..." Bakura only snorted, holding no sympathy for Ryou at that moment. All the anger and hurt he harboured over Ryou's infidelity came rushing back as soon as he looked the teenager in eye.

"_You _started it by sleeping with him!" Malik winced as he was roughly jabbed in the stomach, and shot Bakura a glare.

"You won't get off that, will you?" The blonde let go of Bakura to turn around and look him in the eye. "It was a one-time thing that happened _months_ ago, and you still won't let it go!"

"It's not something you just let go!" Bakura retaliated, seething. "And I am _not_ going to let go of it!"

"This isn't about Ryou cheating on you!" Malik had to come out and say it. "This is about your own goddamn pride, isn't it? Just the fact that you would never let yourself forgive him!"

"Shut the _fuck_ up!" Bakura grabbed at the collar of Maliks' shirt. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Malik gritted his teeth, his hands shaking at his side, but he didn't fight back, or try to push Bakura away.

"Yes, I do." Malik struggled to keep his voice calm, locking his eye with Bakura. He was ignoring the others in the room, even Ryou at that point. "You know I do-"

"No you _don't!_" Bakura screamed. "You don't fucking get me Malik, so don't try!" Ryou, who was watching the exchange silently, slowly stood up, and managed to force his way in between the two.

"Stop." His voice was low, almost a murmur, but shook with emotion. "Please, both of you just stop _fighting_." Ryou stood between Malik and Bakura, a hand on each chest. "There's no _point_ to any of this."

"I could have told you that." Bakura snarled, looking from Ryou to Malik. "Just like there is not point in me even being here!"

"Yes, there is!" Malik retorted. "There was a reason I dragged you over here, Bakura!" Ryou stared at Malik evenly. "But you're just gonna totally ignore it all, aren't you-"

"_Shut up!"_ Ryou gasped as Bakura pushed him aside to get at the blonde. "Shut the _fuck_ up, Malik!" The teenager sank into the couch, brown eyes wide. Malik gulped as he was roughly slammed against the wall, fury in Bakura's eyes. _Shit._

"Guys, stop it!" Jounouchi finally decided on intervention, and leaped forward from the group huddled in the corner, grabbing at Bakura's shoulders. No matter how purely evil the yami was, he was still emaciated, and, as a result, extremely light. Jounouchi pulled Bakura off of Malik easily, and, in an act of admirably bravery, the blonde wrapped his arms around Bakura's chest, pinning his scarred, bony arms to his sides.

"Hey, _fuck off!"_ Bakura stamped on Jounouchi's feet, but it made little difference. Ryou shakily stood up as the coffee-eyed teenager started to back away from Malik, Bakura struggling and swearing. "I mean it, you fucking mutt! Piss off or you'll _regret _it!"

"No, he wont." Yami's deep voice filled the room as he approached the pair. "Calm down." Bakura only snarled in his direction, and fought back harder, clawing at Jounouchi's arms, drawing blood. "Hey!" Jounouchi gasped, wincing, but didn't let go, and if anything, he tightened his grip on Bakura. "Stop this now!"

"Or _what." _Bakura spat, narrowing his eyes. "What will you do, huh? I know you won't do a _fucking_ thing with him standing right there!"

"Bakura, please just shut up." Malik moaned weakly, holding his head in his hands. "You're not doing yourself any favours here."

"_You_ shut up!" Bakura rounded on the Egyptian, smouldering. "It's your own fault that I'm even here Malik! You were the one who practically drag me here because you want to play fucking matchmaker to Ryou and I. It's not happening!" Bakura was shaking in anger in Jounouchi's arms. "You, of all people should understand why I will not ever be with him! Not after the shit you both pulled that is _all your fault!"_ Ryou froze, and his hands slowly rose to cover his mouth. Tears swam in his eyes, and he struggled, but failed to swallow them down. Yami noticed Ryou's loss of composure, and stared at him for a moment, before turning back to Bakura, his expression unreadable.

"Get him out of here." Yami muttered lowly and evenly, raising his eyes up to meet Jounouchi. The blonde nodded, and started to slowly walk out of the room, struggling to confine Bakura.

"Fucking get _off_ me!" The yami screamed, still clawing at Jounouchi's arms. "I _want _to get out of this shithole! Leave me alone and I'll fucking go!" The blonde only shook his head soundlessly, his arms on fire as he pulled Bakura into the hallway. "I fucking mean it Jounouchi! If you don't let me go _right _now-"

"Goddamn it Bakura!" Malik ran out of the room, following Jounouchi and Bakura. Ryou felt eerily numb as he slowly sank into the armchair again, his hands folded in his lap.

"Bakura?" Yugi stepped forward, and bent down a little, so he was eye-level with the teen. "You okay?" Ryou swallowed and finally shook his head, sniffing. "What is it then?"

"... If Bakura's blaming Malik for us sleeping together, then why is he still mad at me?" His voice was small, lost, and cracked every so often. "Why won't he forgive me?"

"Oh_ Bakura." _Yugi sighed deeply, placing a hand on the whitenette's shoulder. "I don't know why he's not forgiving you. Maybe what Malik said about his pride was right. And well... You know it better than I do that he's evil."

"H-He's not." Ryou hiccupped, shaking his head violently. "H-He's not to me... H-He was angry and sadistic and so much more... But he was never evil."

"Bakura, I know what he used to do to you." Yugi murmured gravelly. "Those sick punishments he used to dream up for you were nothing but torture. He _is_ evil, Bakura. He's been evil for thousands of years... He can't change that quick."

"That doesn't mean he can't forgive me!" Tears streamed down Ryou's pale cheeks. "He has no reason to be angry at me if nothing is my fault! Why is he torturing and punishing me like this? It's not _fair_." Yugi sighed, deeply, and ran a hand through his hair.

"Bakura, I _don't know_." He pleaded, exasperated. "I barely know him. Look, I know he has some good in him, and I don't doubt that he used to be a loving person, and you two had such a great relationship together. But he's still so dark... And his darkness far outweighs his light, Bakura. And he's suffering because of it." At that moment, Malik appeared at the door, shadowed by Jounouchi, who was trying to stem the blood from his arms with his hands, and failing. "Holy..."

"Ryou." Malik rushed over to the whitenette, and all but pushed Yugi aside, who stared in wide-eyed shock at Jounouchi. "Oh God, I'm so sorry about all of this-"

"He doesn't blame me." Ryou raised tear-filled eyes to stare at Malik. "He blames you... Not me."

"I know." Malik smiled weakly. "I know... He's angry at you for sleeping with me but he says it's my fault..."

"Then _why_ won't he forgive me?" Ryou managed to choke out the words for a second time, before collapsing into sobs, burying his face in his hands as his thin frame shook. Malik sighed deeply, and slid into the armchair beside Ryou, who was so thin he barely filled half of the seat. He wrapped his arms around the whitenette's middle, Ryou leaning into his neck. He grabbed handfuls of Malik's shirt, pressing his face into the Egyptian to muffle his sobs.

"Where did he go?" Yami asked, not understanding where Bakura went. Jounouchi sighed, staring down at his arms, and wincing in pain.

"Drove off in his car." Jounouchi bit his lip. "Pretty fast, too... Honda, can you help me clean up?" The brunette nodded, and followed Jounouchi out of the room.

"I'm going to take Ryou to bed." Malik announced, slowly standing up with Ryou in his arms. The whitenette wavered on his feet, and leaned against Malik heavily as he was slowly led into his room. He felt sick, more than anything. He just couldn't comprehend how Bakura was refusing to even speak nicely to him, when he accepted that Malik was to blame for the mess. "You okay, Ryou?"

"I-I'm kinda numb." Ryou murmured softly as he was placed into his bed, the blankets pulled over him. "I don't understand..."

"You don't have to understand." Malik forced a weak smile, propping up his pillows. Ryou leaned against the softness, his hands under the blankets. "It's okay."

"Did he mean it?" Ryou breathed tearfully, looking up at Malik. "D-Does he think it's not my fault anymore?" Malik swallowed, and couldn't look at him.

"He's blaming me, yeah." Malik muttered. "Apparently, you wouldn't have done anything if I hadn't have pushed you into it... It's what we've been trying to tell him for months, and he's only just realised it. Ryou, it just means it's not your fault. It doesn't mean that he forgives you. You know that right?"

"I-I know it's not." Ryou shook his head, staring into space. "I-I just... I'm so lonely, Malik. You have no idea how lonely it feels to not have anyone anymore... Yugi and the others... They don't understand. They don't know what it's like to really be alone, because they have each other." Ryou lifted large brown eyes, desperate with hope, up to Malik. "But you know, don't you? You know how it feels to be all alone... How did you get through it Malik? How did you survive without going totally crazy?"

"... I..." Malik sat down on the edge of the bed, staring down at his knees. "Ryou, I almost went insane." He finally muttered, not looking at Ryou. "It was driving me crazy, how I wanted to have you so bad and I couldn't... And I felt so guilty about fucking everything up with you and Bakura." Ryou blinked, and sat silently. "I didn't know what to do to myself. I just lay in my bed for weeks and felt like total shit over everything."

"What made you get up?" Ryou breathed, his hands starting to shake, his mouth going dry.

"I wanted to make it right." Malik murmured, heaving a long sigh. "I wanted to make everything better. And then I spoke to you and got angry at you because you said you would choose Bakura over me... I'm sorry about that, by the way."

"It's okay." Ryou smiled briefly, and Malik nodded. "Go on."

"Well... I thought about it so much, and Ryou... I decided that the best thing I could do was make it so I could try everything in my power to just make you as happy as possible." Malik, during his speech, had slowly risen his head, and was looking at Ryou straight in the eye.

"M-Malik, what do you mean?" Ryou was confused as he returned the gaze, staring into Malik's wide lavender eyes, which were full of so much emotions, more feelings than he thought he could even name. "I-I don't understand..."

"Ryou, I really really like you." Malik was slowly edging closer to the whitenette, not breaking his gaze with him. "And I just wanna make you happy. I wanna do everything I can... And I know how alone you feel right now."

"Malik-" Ryou's eyes widened as his speech was cut off by a firm pair of lips on his. His hands, trapped under the blankets, struggled to move, but Malik slowly crawled on top of the teenager, cupping Ryou's face, and tilting his head to one side, deepening the kiss.

To his eternal shame and guilt, Ryou totally melted into the kiss. His eyes closed, and he relaxed into the mattress and pillows. Although he didn't kiss Malik back, it was clear by the way that Ryou accepted Maliks' kiss that he had no intention of fighting him off. Slowly, Malik dared to let his hands slowly slide down from Ryou's face, trailing down his neck, earning a shiver from the smaller teen beneath him. Finally, when the need for air became too great, the Egyptian pulled away, staring down at clouded brown eyes. Ryou was trembling, his heart thudding in his chest, gasping for air.

"M-Malik..." He stammered weakly, his throat tingling where Malik had touched him. "I-I..."

"You what?" Malik leaned down and nuzzled noses with Ryou for a moment. "I know you like me, Ryou. And I know you don't like staying with Yugi. He doesn't understand you like I do. I can make you happy. We can get our own place somewhere... It doesn't even have to be Domino. It can be anywhere you like. A fresh start for the both of us." Malik had taken to stroking Ryou's cheek with his thumb, the other brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Don't tell me that doesn't sound great."

"Oh Malik..." Ryou couldn't look the blonde in the eye, and settled for looking away, feeling slightly sick again. "Malik... I would be safe with you... I-I would be comfortable and secure with you... I don't doubt that at all... But I wouldn't be happy with you." Malik slowly sat up straight, looking down at Ryou, who started to cry again. "I-I'm sorry b-but I-I j-just can't..." He buried his face in the pillow, sobbing.

"... You still really like Bakura." Malik muttered, his shoulders slumped. Ryou hiccupped, shaking beneath the blonde.

"I-I'm in love with him." His voice was muffled, but Malik heard it anyway. His heart sinking in disappointment, Malik slowly got off Ryou, getting back onto the floor. He stared down at Ryou, who pulled the blankets up as high as he could, almost trying to burrow into the pillow.

"Of course you are." Malik muttered. He wasn't angry with Ryou- He couldn't be. Of course Ryou was going to be in love with Bakura. And it was obvious that after seeing him and talking to him that day that it just refresh the deep love that he held for his once-fiancée. _But God, if that's the only way to make Ryou happy..._ Malik closed his eyes, and placed a hand on Ryou's shoulder. The whitenette stilled his sobs, but didn't emerge from under all the blankets. Malik didn't expect him to. _There's really only one thing that I can do... And if I care that much about Ryou, then I'll do it, won't I?_

_Guess I'm just gonna have to try a little harder to get them back together._

_

* * *

_

Wow... That was a really long scene. Which is why I had to split it up xD

R&R!!!


	33. Chapter 33

THERE! FINISHED THE BUGGER!

Sorry for the lateness. I was fighting one of the biggest writers' blocks I have ever had to deal with X.X

But it's holidays now YAY! XD

Disclaimer: I own nothing

* * *

"Bakura-"

"Don't talk to me." Bakura snarled almost as soon as he could, not wanting to listen as Malik slammed the front door behind him. The yami was hunched over, his completed portrait on the dining room table, which he was prying away from the frame with a staple remover. The Egyptian stared at him for a long second, before turning away in disgust, yanking off his jacket, and throwing it over the back of a chair. He stomped away from Bakura as loud as he could, into the lounge, where he sank down on a sofa, holding his head in his hands. Bakura continued to remove the canvas from the cheap wooden frame, gritting his teeth, trying to tear as little of the material as possible.

"You know, it's one thing to totally throw your life down the toilet, Bakura!" The white-haired spirit jumped as Malik stormed back into the room, seething. "But you're not just hurting yourself here, you're hurting Ryou, too! He tried to _kill_ himself, because you've damaged him so badly, and yet you still stand there so high and mighty, refusing to forgive a scared child who's done nothing wrong!" Bakura, who had just wrenched out the very last stable the bound the canvas to the frame, slammed the tool to the tabletop, and stood up, spinning on his heel.

"Shut the _fuck_ up, Malik!" Bakura snarled, his hands shaking. "He has done something wrong! He has done so much wrong, Malik, and it's all your fault!"

"Yes, It's my fault!" Malik pleaded, his tone imploring, eyes wide. "It is all my fault so _stop_ hurting Ryou like this!"

"Did you not listen to me?" Bakura roared. "Just because it wasn't his fault, it doesn't mean Ryou's not perfect! Dress it up however you like, Malik, but he still fucked you and still _lied _to me about it!"

"Bakura, he'd given you up for dead!" Tears swam in Maliks' eyes. "All the doctors said that you were going to die... He was so distressed and I'm so sorry for doing it... But after all this time, you have no reason to not forgive him, Bakura!" He cried out as the yami grabbed at his shirt collar, dragging him down so they were eye-level.

"Yes, I _do_." He spat, eyes smouldering. "How many _times_ do I have to repeat myself? Ryou fucking slept with you, Malik! I don't care if I was in a coma, I don't care if you pushed him into it, I don't care about any of that shit! The fact is that he still betrayed me in the worst way and I will _never_ forgive him for it!" Malik was staring at Bakura, wide-eyed, the both of them in total silence. Neither of them moved a muscle, or flicked their gaze from each others eyes. Malik started to cry silently, tears streaming from his eyes, and down his cheeks, while Bakura retained his smouldering expression, his hands painfully tight on Maliks' shirt. Both of them stared into each others eyes, reading their expressions- Pain, fear, guilt, anger... Both of them were turbulent, and unreadable.

Finally, when Malik couldn't take it anymore, he lowered his head, closed his eyes, and just collapsed into sobs, inwardly breaking down. Bakura slowly released his hands from Maliks' shirt, and the teenager buried his face in his hands, slowly sinking to his knees. Bakura chose to ignore Malik, yanking out his chair with a squeak, and sinking into the thinly cushioned seat. He stared off into space for what felt like forever, feeling almost sick with guilt, guilt that he had made his closest friend so upset. Sure, he was angry at Malik beyond belief for everything that he had done, but it was a different sort of anger as opposed to what he felt towards Ryou. After all, Bakura never owned Malik, like he owned Ryou.

"... Why are you crying." Bakura muttered after what seemed like forever, Malik's sobs echoing about the hauntingly empty room. Malik swallowed, and slowly raised his head, eyes red-rimmed, cheeks stained with tears.

"I-I'm sad." Malik finally murmured quietly, wrapping his arms around his legs, drawing his knees to his chest. "I'm sad for you... and Me... A-and Ryou..." He sniffed, and wiped at his nose. "I feel so guilty for breaking you two up and causing so much misery and suffering." Bakura rolled his eyes, and brushed his hair out of his face, before lowering his stare to the floor.

"Stop being upset over it." Bakura muttered angrily, tensing. "What's done is done. It doesn't mean I'm not shitty at you. Because I am. What I had with Ryou was the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I mean ever. It was the only time I was really, truly happy. And you totally wrecked it in a moment of selfish childishness."

"I-I'm sorry." Malik's voice cracked, and he swallowed, sniffing. "I-If I knew you were going to live, I-I wouldn't have done anything with him, I-I swear..."

"I know." Bakura muttered gruffly. "And I know you're in love with him, but god_damn_ Malik, you just couldn't wait for me to die, could you?"

"I-I'm sorry." Malik burst into a fresh wave of tears. "I-I'm s-so sorry..." Bakura momentarily cast his eyes upward.

"Stop crying." He commanded, clenching his hands into fists. "Tears don't solve anything. And they don't sway me, neither."

"O-Okay." Malik hiccupped, and slowly nodded, wiping furiously at his eyes, rubbing his nose on his sleeve. His face was still red and blotchy, but there was nothing he could really do about that at that moment. He tried to hard to regain his composure, but failed, and Bakura stared coldly for only a few more seconds before getting out of his chair with a long sigh, and crouching on the floor, holding out his hand.

"Come on." He commanded roughly, his other hand on his hip. Malik looked up, and wiped at his eyes, before taking Bakura's hand, the yami wavering slightly on his feet as he pulled Malik into a standing position. "Go sit down on the couch with a blanket." Bakura commanded, yanking his hand free, and turning away. Dumbstruck, Malik nodded. Bakura walked into the kitchen, and flicked on the jug, his mind whirring. He didn't know what to think of Malik, breaking down in front of him like that. He cast his mind back to Ryou, and what he would do when he was upset, which was curl up on the couch with a hot drink, and just cry it all out, with Bakura's shoulder to lean on.

Malik sank onto the black leather couch weakly, pulling at the deep crimson throw rug up on the back of the couch. He pulled it over his shoulders, and used the corner of it to wipe at his eyes, which were raw at this stage, before leaning against the back of the couch, closing his eyes. He lay in silence for a time, staring off into space as his mind whirred over everything. Malik felt disgusted with himself, more than anything, for having the gall to be feeling the way he was.

"Here." Bakura carried the hot chocolate into the room carefully, making sure not to spill any on the carpet, his eyes fixated on the brown liquid. "Before it gets too cold."

"I-I..." Malik blinked as the mug was pushed into his chest, a little of the hot drink slopping on the crimson blanket. "Th-Thankyou, Bakura..." He murmured weakly, lifting the cup in trembling hands and taking a sip. "That's really nice." The blonde closed his eyes, relaxing into the couch.

"Yeah, whatever." Bakura trooped out of the living room, and into the dining area, where his self-portrait was spread out over the table. He rolled the canvas up silently, and walked into the lounge, looking for a rubber band.

"I'm going out." He announced to Malik, noticing the look on confusion on the teenagers' face. "I need to think. And I have shit to do."

"O-Okay." Malik nodded, pressing his lips against the rim of the cup. "I understand... And Bakura..." The white-haired yami paused in the doorway, and turned around. "I-I am sorry."

"Yeah, whatever." Bakura muttered, turning away from the Egyptian again. Malik shook his head, sniffing.

"No, I-I am really sorry." He pleaded weakly, blinking rapidly. "I-I have no right to be breaking down like this while you remain so-"

"So what?" Bakura snapped, turning around sharply, narrowing his eyes at the teen. Malik swallowed, and stared at him for just a moment, before being forced to look away. "Huh? You think I'm being calm about all of this shit Malik? Do you?"

"No..." Malik shook his head, wincing. "I-I know you're not, but you're not a total mess like I am, and I'm the one that caused all this-"

"Just stop it, Malik." Bakura muttered, turning back to the doorframe, tightening his hold on the rolled-up canvas. He would have to get a cardboard tube for it. "None of us need it right now." Malik opened his mouth to respond, to retaliate against the somewhat harsh words, but Bakura was already gone, slamming the door behind him as he picked up his keys and jacket, out of the house in seconds. Malik sighed, and leaned against the couch cushions, closing his eyes.

"Fucking Malik." Bakura muttered to himself as he slammed the car door behind himself, revving up the car. His painting was rolled up on the seat behind himself, his jacket thrown across the passenger seat. He took off down the road with a screech of the tires, teeth gritted and knuckles white. Why was it possible for _Bakura _to start feeling bad for Malik? He'd never broken down in front of Bakura to that magnitude; it was just all so new to him. It was disturbing, in a way. He'd never really thought of Malik being so guilty about breaking them up.

Bakura sighed under his breath as he turned onto the main road, heading towards the city centre.

* * *

A loud _bang_, of the door against the wall made the receptionist jump from behind her screen. Wide eyes locked onto the thin male who stomped across the room, fuming.

"H-How may we help you?" The woman asked nervously, eyeing Bakura with trepidation. "I-I'm sorry, but the college is closed-"

"I don't want to talk to anyone." Bakura snarled, slamming down his cardboard tube, with the artwork rolled up inside it. "I just want you to give this to Professor Igarashi for me."

"You want to see Professor-"

"_No,_ you stupid woman!" Bakura raged, losing control of himself. "I just want you to give this to him! I do_ not _want to see him-"

"I'm not giving Igarashi an unmarked item like this from a suspicious man." The receptionist picked up her phone with a scowl. "I'm calling him now."

"Fucking hell." Bakura growled, wanting to hit the woman over the head with the tube. She shot him a glance, before starting to murmur down the phone.

"Yes... Professor, I have a _very_ odd man here wanting to give you something. I dunno, about five foot five or six... He's some kind of punk, I don't know... Well, because he's got white hair... Oh?" She covered her hand over the mouthpiece, and gave Bakura a questioning look. "What's your name?"

"... Bakura." He spat with a smouldering glower. The woman blinked, and returned to her phone, biting her lip.

"Yes... Oh, really? Oh, okay... Yes, most definitely." She set the phone down on it's cradle, and surveyed Bakura. "Professor Igarashi is going to be here in a few minutes. I just have to postpone a meeting..."

"NO!" Bakura shot out, almost stamping his foot. "You don't have to do that, lady! Just give him the bloody painting and let me leave! I have places to go you know! God_damn, _I don't want to see the doddering old fool!"

"Excuse me, but we have a protocol here-"

"I don't give a fuck!" Bakura spat angrily, his blood boiling as it did whenever he got riled up. "I just want someone to take this bloody thing _away_ from me! And the last thing I want to do is sit there and listen to that old man's incessant prattle about my so-called talent!"

"It's hardly so-called." The white-haired man jumped, and spun around, eyes widening at the professor, who raised an eyebrow. "What's that you have in there for me?" Igarashi perked up at the cardboard tube in Bakura's hand. "May I see?"

"Take the thing_ away_ from me." Bakura literally threw the tube to Igarashi, who caught it, barely. "Do what you will with it." He stared at Bakura for a moment, reading the expression on his face, before pulling at the plastic seal on the long tube. He upended the cardboard, finding the rolled piece of canvas, and slid off the rubber bands. The old man unrolled the canvas slowly, making sure not to damage it, and let the tube and seal drop to the floor as he held a corner in each hand, spreading out the painting.

"Oh _God."_ He was speechless as he stared at the piece of artwork, which was so amazingly both fascinating and disturbing. The old man slowly shook his head from side to side, studying the painting intently. "Bakura this is..." He slowly lowered the canvas down so he could stare at the male, only to find out that he was gone, the receptionist sitting in her chair silently, blinking.

* * *

"What did you guys talk about?"

Yugi asked the question as soon as Ryou entered the lounge, rubbing at his tousled hair after a very scanty sleep. The whitenette cast a quick glance up to the clock, and blinked at the time. _It's only a few minutes past nine..._

"I-It's not that important." Ryou yawned, sinking into a free chair. "We just cleared some stuff up..."

"You didn't hear Jou enter the room?" Ryou's head snapped up at the slightly accusing tone, eyes widening. "What, you look scared."

"Wh-What do you mean?" Ryou's heart slowly sank. If Jou went into the room without them hearing and left, then it must have been...

"You wanna explain why you were making out with him?" Jounouchi raised an eyebrow as he regarded the teenager, who froze, swallowing. "No?"

"I-It's not how it sounds..." Ryou pleaded weakly, biting his lower lip. "It's really not that bad..."

"You were trying to explain to us how much you love that psycho less than fifteen minutes before I walk in on you two." Jounouchi frowned. "Bakura, don't you see that as being wrong at _all?"_

"It's not like that!" Tears welled in his eyes, as he started to panic. "I-I didn't kiss him back of anything, I swear-"

"Oh yeah, you did such a great job fighting him off." Jounouchi muttered, staring down at his bandaged arms.

"Jounouchi, _please!"_ Ryou started to hyperventilate, shaking his head. "I-I was confused... A-And Malik comes up with all of this stuff about me moving with him to another town and how he can make me so happy and then he just jumped on me a-and-" Ryou broke off, realising he wasn't really swaying the opinions of anyone in the room. "Oh _please..."_ No one answered. Anzu and Honda looked down, uncomfortable, Yugi had his eyes up to the ceiling, Yami was staring at him with an awful, unreadable expression on his face, and Jounouchi kept his gaze locked on his arms, biting his lip.

Jounouchi closed his eyes as Ryou left the room, clearly fighting back tears, and winced as the front door slammed. He sighed as he stood up, and stared around the room, almost glaring at everyone.

"So... Is anyone going to go after him?" He asked, his gaze fixed pointedly on Yugi, who didn't move, didn't make any recognition that he'd even heard Jounouchi. The blonde swore under his breath, and ran out of the room, down the hallway, and out of the house, leaving the front door open behind him. Although it was night, Ryou's long white hair shining like a beacon in the darkness.

"Bakura, wait!" Jounouchi pleaded, starting to run through the darkness. Because he was taller, and fitter than Ryou, he managed to catch up with him easily, and also, because Ryou was crying, he never heard the blonde call out, or heard his footsteps. It wasn't until Jounouchi was very close behind Ryou, panting, that he ever realised there was someone behind him. Brown eyes widened, and the whitenette froze, his breath hitching in his throat, but it was too late; Jounouchi all but pounced on him, wrapping his arms around his waist, and, losing his balance, crashed onto the concrete.

"Get_ off!"_ Ryou screamed, lashing out and hitting Jounouchi as hard as he could, hyperventilating. His hair was in his eyes, and he couldn't see who was hovering over him, and he panicked. "Let _go!"_

"Shit, Bakura, stop it!" Jounouchi pleaded, grabbing at Ryou's wrists, but the whitenette merely wrenched his hands free of the blondes grasp, and started pushing at Jou's shoulders, in an attempt to fight him off. "Bloody hell..." Instead of trying to push the ineffectual grasp off of him, Jounouchi leaned down a little further, and fully brushed the stunning white locks out of Ryou's face, locking his eyes with him.

The smaller teen froze, his mouth falling open, and arms instantly dropping limp to his sides. Jounouchi sighed as he got off of the teen, crouching on the concrete and staring at his hands. Ryou sniffed, slowly getting up into a sitting position, pulling his shirt down over his stomach. He was still and silent, staring off into space with large tears rolling down his face.

"I'm sorry." Ryou murmured, his voice as small as it could possibly be. Jounouchi only shook his head, and scooted over closer to Ryou. Tentatively, he rested a hand on the teens' shoulder.

"No, I am." Jounouchi looked down at the concrete still. "I should have thought... Grabbing at you in the dark like that after..." He trailed off, unable to finish.

"N-No, a-about Malik." Ryou sniffed again, rubbing at his eyes. "I-I wish I hadn't done it... I wish I hadn't done any of it..."

"Bakura, it's okay." Jounouchi tried to console him. "Look, come with me and we can talk it all over, okay? You'll feel better then, I promise." Ryou slowly nodded, before raising wide brown eyes up to Jounouchi.

"I-I c-can't go b-back to Yugi's right now." He pleaded softly. "Please, I-I can't face any of them..."

"Okay." Jounouchi nodded, casting a glance down to his watch. "That's okay. We'll cut through the park and grab a burger, or coffee, or something." Ryou tensed, and shook his head wildly. "What?"

"N-Not through the park," He managed to choke out weakly. "N-Not after..."

"Look, no creep's gonna come near you if I'm there, I'll beat them up, I promise." Jounouchi stood up, extending a hand. "Come on, you need to calm down and explain everything. I'm not a mind reader, okay?" Ryou looked up at Jounouchi, and nodded, slowly taking his hand.

"Th-Thank you for this." Ryou forced a weak smile, wiping at the tearstains on his cheeks. "I-I really appreciate this."

OoOoO

Looking out over the night-light of the city was oddly pretty.

Bakura's car was parked out on the lot of the look-out, just a few feet behind him, strewn chaotically over several spaces, the only car up on the peak. Bakura himself was perched rather haphazardly on top of the metal railing, standing up, no less, his feet shoulder-width apart, arms flung out to keep his balance. Amber lights sparkled like diamonds below him, coupled with the bright white lights of cars, always moving, whether it was slow and sluggish in the city, or faster in the hinterland, disappearing into the dark folds of night. With the wind in his face, the city spread out below him, and arms out wide, it felt rather like flying. _I wonder if I would, if I jumped... _Bakura shook his head, banishing the thought from his mind. He just felt so _confused_ at that point, so angry and upset and... muddled.

_I think I might still be in love with Ryou._

The thought was so unreal, so_ ludicrous_, that Bakura refused to accept it. How could he, after over a month of intense anger and hate directed towards his once sweet little fiancée?

_But he was pushed into it all._ Bakura closed his eyes, bowing his head. He wavered dangerously on the railing, but managed to keep his balance. _It wasn't his fault. Goddamn it, I know all of this._ His shoulders were slumped, hands lowered down to his sides. He felt so _sick_...

_Fuck_. Bakura leaned over, and slid off the rail, and onto the ground, his legs weak. He sank slowly to his knees, leaning his forehead against the metal bars. Slowly, he raised his arms up to the railing, and gripped the bars, feeling as though his heart was ripping apart.

_I'm not over him._ Bakura gritted his teeth, screwing his eyes shut tight as they started to burn with tears. Rather than struggling to hold them back and cause stress for himself, Bakura did the smartest thing, and just let it all out. He grasped the bars of the railing like a life-line, his hands shaking. His breath came out in short, shuddering gasps as hot tears ran down his face, his shoulders wracked with sobs. Bakura pressed his forehead harder against the bars, to the point of pain, as he cried, grateful that he was alone at the top of the hilly range that overlooked the city. He just didn't know what to do with himself, as he kneeled in the dust, confused, hurt, and... Scared. All Bakura could think about what not only how badly he had hurt Ryou, doing all of this, but also how badly he had hurt himself. He'd taken the greatest thing that had possibly ever happened to him, and totally destroyed it, But Bakura didn't see himself as doing anything wrong, really. The yami saw it as Ryou getting what he deserved- to an extent.

_I've ruined his life_. Bakura pressed his lips together, tears trickling onto the bars, and down them, where they plopped onto the dust. _I've ruined his life and mine, because I can't bear to handle Ryou giving himself to anyone else._ He arched his neck, and looked up towards the night sky, emitting a long, long sigh. _But I'm fucked up. I know I'm fucked up. I've made so many wrong choices and I can't blame anyone but myself. If I wasn't such an arrogant ass, then I could be happy. But I've been raised to be cold and strong and not let anyone close, and I've let Ryou totally break that apart. _

_I've known him longer than anyone else on this earth. Anyone that's living. And no one else knows me more. I can't deny that. And no one was ever closer to Ryou than I used to be. He told me everything. Secrets I know he would have never told his mother and sister if they were still alive. And he's fucked up. He's fucked up like hell, after being suck a __**slut**__ and sleeping with Malik..._ Bakura swallowed deeply, and sniffed, wiping hastily at his eyes. It hurt like hell. Whenever the yami closed his eyes, and tried to sleep, it always played over in his mind, how he thought it would have happened. Would Ryou have succumbed easily to Maliks' touch? Would he be reluctant at first, but eventually cave in after soft murmurs of love and passion? Was he _asking_ for it?

_Stop torturing yourself._ Bakura inwardly muttered, his hands starting to shake. _Goddamn, just thinking about all the time is going to make it worse. _He moaned audibly, and slowly lowered his head down to his hands, his shoulders starting to shake. This was so _confusing!_ Bakura hadn't felt this muddled in such a long time... _Every time I think about Ryou, I start feeling so... confused. I wanna laugh and cry and punch a whole in something at the same time..._ Bakura scooted back across the dust, so he was able to draw his knees up to his chest, and stare out across the night sky, which was half-hidden by the railing bars.

He sat there for a long time, almost half an hour, before the increasingly icy temperatures drove him into the safe warmth of his car.

OoOoO

"You gonna be okay?" Jounouchi looked over the rim of his coffee at the whitenette, who clasped the cup of hot chocolate with trembling hands. Ryou slowly inclined his head in a nod, and sniffed, swallowing. "Wanna talk some more?"

"I-I don't know what to say." Ryou's voice was hoarse. "Jou, I don't know what to _do _here. I-I sort of want to go with Malik somewhere, b-but... I-I don't love him, Jou. Not like Bakura. N-No-one's like Bakura..."

"Don't think about it." Jounouchi muttered, as Ryou was starting to cry again. "It's just making you upset. Think about something else, okay?"

"L-Like what?" Ryou slowly raised his head up to look Jounouchi in the eye. "I-I can't think about anything else. A-All I can think about is Bakura and Malik..." Ryou slowly started to drum his fingertips on the countertop, his chin trembling. "I-It's so messed up here..."

"Ryou." Jounouchi released his hold on the coffee cup to press his palm over Ryou's clacking fingernails. The whitenette stilled, eyes widening at the mention of his first name, as Jou curled his fingers over the lower half of his hand. "Stop."

"I-I can't." Ryou's voice broke, and he sniffed. "I-I know that I can't stay with Yugi forever. And I know that part of me wants to go with Malik and be safe and comfortable... B-But there's still this stupid part of me that dares to hope..." Ryou bowed his head as he started to cry, unable to control himself. "I-I wanna be back with Bakura so much, Jou... I know th-that it'll never happen but... But..."

"Hey, it'll be okay." Jounouchi tightened his hold on Ryou's hand as the whitenette sobbed quietly, in the corner booth of the slightly seedy café. "Crap like this sorts itself out. It has to."

"I-I'm not so sure." Ryou murmured tearfully, sniffing. "I-I'm really unsure, Jou... I-I just don't know what to do with myself here..."

"Look, it's going to be okay." The blonde struggled to reassure his friend. He opened his mouth to say more, when the cell-phone in his pocket rang, distracting him. "Crap. I gotta take this. Finish your hot chocolate and go grab another one, okay?" Jounouchi pulled his phone from his pocket, lifting it to his ear. "Hello? ... O-Oh Dad..."

"Okay..." Ryou sighed, draining the last of the hot, sweet drink. He swallowed, and slowly stood up as Jounouchi left the room. Clutching his empty cup, Ryou crossed the floor of the cafe, to where a waitress stood behind a large machine. "H-Hello?"

"Another hot chocolate?" She gave him a sympathetic smile. Ryou nodded, and places his head in his hands, elbows on the counter as he sat on a barstool, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Okay..." Ryou sniffed, and tilted his head slightly to one side, clearly depressed.

And at that moment, of all people in the entire world, Bakura walked through the front door. He was exhausted, drained after his excursion on the lookout, and needed a caffeine pick-me-up desperately. He made to take off his coat, when the white-haired figure up by the counter made him freeze. Bakura's heart sank as he stood in the doorway, at what was probably one of the most pathetic scenes he'd seen in a long time. Ryou was crying silently, but his occasional sniffles managed to give it away. Bakura clenched his hands into fists, and let out a long, long sigh, turning back away again. There was no way he could face Ryou in that state, not when he was in an upset, almost broken frame of mind himself. Ryou, who sensed the pair of eyes in him, straightened up, and turned around. He caught a flash of white hair over a worn leather jacket, before Bakura disappeared from view, and his mouth fell open. Ryou swallowed, and after a moments hesitation, slid down off of the barstool, and dodged a group of teenage girls coming into the cafe, running out into the street.

If Ryou had any nerve, he would have called out to Bakura as he ran along the sidewalk, his heart thudding. He was hardened with resolve, his teeth set. _He is __**not**__ walking away from me without explaining._

Bakura slammed the car door behind himself as loud as he could, and took several deep breaths to calm himself. He gripped the steering wheel with shaking hands, and swallowed deeply. He managed to compose himself enough to start the car, but when he looked up, a figure standing directly in front of the car, his arms crossed made him still.

Ryou.

Bakura swore, punching at the steering wheel, crinkling his nose in a snarl. _What the __**fuck**__ does he want now?_ He shot the teenager a deathly glare, and wrenched his car door open, stepping out into the night.

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?" Bakura raged as he approached the teen, his hands shaking. Ryou was trembling himself, brown eyes wide and tearful, but he didn't back down, choosing instead to lock his eyes with the yami, who pulled up in his walk, regarding him with an even stare. "Get the hell out of my way, Ryou! I wanna leave!"

"No." Ryou said slowly and evenly, licking his lips. "I-I'm not leaving..."

"What the... Ryou, piss off!" Bakura yelled, incensed. _What is he doing? I don't want to talk to him right now! I can't!_ "I'm going home!"

"No, not until you talk to me!" Fresh tears spilled down Ryou's cheeks. "Please, Bakura, I-I just want you to talk to me-"

"No!" Ryou gasped as Bakura grabbed the collar of his shirt, and pulled him so their noses were inches apart. His bare arms shivered in the cold night air. "I don't want to talk to you, Ryou! I don't even want to fucking _look_ at you right now!"

"Wh-Why not?" Ryou stammered, his heart sinking even further, the tiny amount of bravery he had summoned up in his chest starting to fade. Bakura growled, and, a surge of anger rushing through his chest and getting the better of him, he slapped Ryou across the face. The whitenette gasped, but stayed firm, never shifting his gaze from Bakura's face.

"Why the fuck do you think!" Bakura shook Ryou, who still never looked away from him. "Huh?"

"I-It doesn't hurt when you do that." Ryou mumbled, barely coherent. "I-It hurts when you _refuse_ to forgive me when I've done nothing wrong-"

"Bull_shit_ you've done nothing wrong!" Bakura pushed Ryou down onto the bonnet of the car, almost throwing him against the curved metal. "You slept with Malik!"

"You said it wasn't my fault!" Ryou protested, crying out as Bakura grabbed his shoulders and crawled over him, forcing him onto the car bonnet. "Bakura, stop-"

"Do you _want_ me to really hurt you?" Bakura snarled, one hand pressing hard onto Ryou's chest, the other raising into the air, clenching into a fist. The whitenette's eyes widened, and he managed to dodge his head to one side, meaning Bakura's fist crashed into the bonnet of the car with a loud slam. Bakura hissed, and gritted his teeth, in obvious pain, but failed to waver, keeping his gaze locked with Ryou, smouldering. The teenager was shaking violently, starting to hyperventilate. That blow he'd narrowly dodged could have easily broken his nose. "Huh?"

"No!" Ryou gasped, eyes wide with fright. "Bakura, I-I don't mean that at all-"

"Then shut _up_ and leave me the fuck alone!" Bakura shouted at the top of his lungs, his stale breath washing over Ryou's face. "I just want you away from me, you fucking brat-"

"Hey man, stop it!" Jounouchi, who had finally managed to say goodbye to his father, ran down the short street distance as fast as he could, to where Bakura's car was parked on the curb. The blonde grabbed at the back of Bakura's shirt, successfully managing to haul the scrawny body off of Ryou. "Come on!"

"You fuck off too!" Bakura wrenched himself free of the blonde's hold, growling. "Both of you just leave me alone! Why is that so bloody hard to just understand?" Ryou swallowed deeply, and started to climb off of the car, his lips trembling.

"Bakura-"

"Just shut it right there!" Bakura rounded on Ryou, pushing the teenager away as he tried to approach him. "Don't even fucking start, you brat-"

"Hey, that's _not_ called for!" Jounouchi frowned, and stood behind Ryou, placing his hand on slim, rounded shoulders. "He does not deserve that!"

"Bullshit he doesn't!" Bakura retorted angrily, Ryou's lower lip trembling. He started to raise a shaking, imploring hand, reaching out to Bakura, but Jounouchi began to slowly back away, pulling Ryou along with him.

"No..." Ryou struggled against Jounouchi's hold as Bakura walked back into his car, slamming the door behind him. "NO!" He screamed, as the engine was revved, shaking his head desperately. "_NO!"_

"Ryou, stop it!" Jou wrapped his arms around the whitenette's chest, pinning his arms to his sides. Ryou was trembling as he watched Bakura go, sobbing weakly. Jou released his hold on the teenager when the Mercedes was gone from view, and Ryou merely sank to his knees, crying. "Oh hell..."

"I-I don't know what's wrong with me." Ryou mumbled tearfully. "I-I don't understand... Wh-What am I doing wrong?"

"You're not doing anything wrong." Jounouchi pleaded, trying to calm Ryou down. "Come on, he's just being an ass, don't be surprised. What did you think he was going to do?"

"H-He's not forgiving me." Ryou whispered. "He's not forgiving me when I've done something that's not my fault... Jounouchi, that's not_ fair._"

"Look, come on." Jounouchi crouched down in front of the teenager. "Look who it is we're talking about. Of course it's not fair. He's not being fair to you at all. Hell, he's being totally awful to you. Why are you still here with him? Why the hell are you still even hanging around?" Ryou sniffed, and swallowed. "Why do you still want to be with him?"

"I-I love him." Ryou breathed, eyes cloudy with tears. "I-I love him and no amount of harsh, words, o-or abuse, or anything is ever going to change that." He let out a long, long sigh, and closed his eyes. "I-I just wish so _much_ that it went both ways, Y-You know?"

Jounouchi didn't know what to say.

* * *

Awh. Cry. XD

R&R HOMIEZ


	34. Chapter 34

W00HT! UPDATEDNESS!

XD It feels good. Real good.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING AT ALL MUAHAHAHA

* * *

"Bakura, what-"

"Don't talk to me." The Yami snarled the very moment that he slammed the front door behind himself. He was still shaking in shock. In rage and confusion and…

Sorrow. Guilt. Sadness. Something had torn in Bakura's heart when he had seen Ryou there, so miserably depressed on his own. It partly made him sick inside. And Bakura just didn't _want_ to feel that way. He wanted to be cold and indifferent towards Ryou. He just wanted to quit _caring_ about him, full stop.

"What's wrong?" Malik, who had been leaning against the doorway, started to follow Bakura, who led the way to his bedroom, shoes thumping angrily on the carpet. He made to slam the bedroom door behind himself, but Malik caught it with a shaking hand, and pushed it open. Bakura turned on his heel to glare at the blonde, eyes blazing.

"What the fuck?" He snarled, squaring his bony shoulders, and curling his hands into fists.

"Tell me what happened." Malik sighed simply, tilting his head to one side.

"Fuck off." Bakura turned away, crossing his arms almost like a child, staring stubbornly at the wall.

"Bakura-" Malik had made the mistake of grabbing Bakura's arm as he tried to talk to him, and in retaliation, Bakura snapped. He spun around with a growl, and grabbed at the upper part of Maliks' arms. The Egyptian gasped he was slammed hard against the wall, eyes wide.

"No." Bakura seethed simply, his teeth gritted, and nails digging into Malik's bare, tanned skin. He locked eyes with the sandy-haired teen, who returned the gaze, albeit it was much softer on his end. "Don't' fucking start, Malik. I can't _take _it right now!"

"Bakura…" Malik bit his lip gently, looking up at the yami with earnest lavender eyes. "Please, you can tell me what's wrong-"

"What's the point!" Malik gasped as Bakura roughly shoved his lean form again, before stepping away and turning, crossing his arms and screwing up his face. "How can telling _you_ make anything better, huh?"

"Because…" Malik straightened himself, slightly winded. "Talking about your problems… About why you feel like you do might make you realize that-"

"If you _dare_ say that-"

"Face it, Bakura, you love Ryou!" Malik cut in before the yami could continue, swallowing. "And you know what? I don't think you ever stopped being in love with him."

"_Fuck_ you!" Bakura cried out, grabbing Malik's arms, and yanking him close, so close their noses were merely inches apart. "You take that back right _now-_"

"No!" Malik gritted his teeth, as his stomach churned unpleasantly in cold fear. "Bakura, you need to accept the fact that you're in love with him- Hey!" Malik gasped as Bakura shoved him up painfully against the wall. The yami was practically blind with fury as he drew back a fist, crashing it into Malik's exposed collarbone. The Egyptian cried out in pain, which redoubled as Bakura punched him hard in the stomach. He loosened his hold on the blonde, who bent over, coughing and choking, unable to breathe. Malik sank to his knees, his arms wrapped tightly around his stomach, coughing weakly.

"I. Don't. Love. Ryou." Bakura gritted his teeth, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he looked down at Malik in disdain. "Get it through your thick fucking head, Malik, I hate him!" Malik was silent as he slowly stood up, leaning heavily on the corner of the dining room table.

"No." Malik mumbled, shaking his head. "You say that… But I know that you're lying. Bakura I know you-"

"Look, would you just shut the fuck up?" Bakura raged, fuming. "I don't!" He wanted to hit Malik again to prove his point, but the sight of him still unable to properly breathe was, in Bakura's eyes, too pathetic to even justify striking him for a third time.

"Bakura, _Please!"_ Malik begged, tears of frustration welling in his eyes. "Stop kidding yourself!"

"Malik, I'm fucking warning you!" Bakura thudded his fist on the table to prove his point, forcing back the urge to twitch. "Shut the hell up!"

"You're _killing_ Ryou!" Malik pleaded, his breathing still ragged, tears welling in his eyes. "Bakura, he tried to kill himself over you! How could you just forget about that and act like it hasn't affected you-"

"I'm not acting like shit!" Bakura retorted. "All right? It has affected me! I was scared when I found out what happened, Malik, you fucking well know that!"

"Bakura, please." Malik breathed. "I'm asking you one more time… Please, forgive Ryou and say you love him." The yami only scoffed, regarding Malik with a steely glare.

"Or what?" He smirked, raising an eyebrow. Malik swallowed, and bit his lip.

"I've offered to move into an apartment with Ryou." Malik murmured gently, unable to look Bakura in the eye. "I just want him to be happy-"

"Like _fuck_ you're doing that!" Bakura exploded, pretty much in an instant, furious. "You can't be fucking serious Malik, I would _never_ let Ryou go of with you! You, of all people! What the fuck runs through your head?"

"I just want Ryou to be goddamn happy!" Malik gasped, eyes wide. "Come on, Bakura! Be reasonable here, Ryou doesn't deserve any of this!"

"Yes, he does!" Bakura shot back, curling his hands into fists. "Fuck, Malik, come on! He deserves everything he's gotten-"

"No." Malik's voice was low, and shook. "Bakura don't you dare force this upon Ryou, I-"

"He's not moving in with you." Bakura snarled. "I won't let him."

"Then take him back." Malik stared Bakura in the eye. "Take Ryou back then." Bakura's expression was murderous.

"Fuck no-"

"Then let me have him!" Malik's voice rose, And Bakura stared at wide brown eyes welling with tears. "Let me make him happy then!" Bakura's teeth were gritted, and jaw set as he regarded Malik with a steely gaze.

"Stay the fuck away from Ryou." Bakura spat, trembling wit rage. "Don't you _ever_ go near him." He took a step away from Malik, and then turned towards the hallway. Malik let out a long, shuddering sigh as Bakura took two steps, who then turned back to the blonde, eyes flashing. "And get the fuck out of my house while you're at it." Malik's mouth dropped, and his heart sank. Bakura left the room, slamming the door behind him with a _thud _that made the walls shake.

Malik pulled out a chair with trembling hands, and sank into it, positively shaking. He sniffed, trying hard to stop the tears from falling, but failed. The Egyptian wiped at his eyes roughly, his stomach still hurting like hell, feeling as though he were about to throw up.

"All I wanna do is help." Malik's voice broke as he buried his face in his hands. His shoulders shook, and he tried his hardest to suppress his sobs.

_Liar. _A voice in his head hissed. _Fucking liar. You're only looking for an excuse to have Ryou._

* * *

"How is he doing?" Yugi asked as Jounouchi closed the door to the lounge to provide even more security, making sure their conversation wouldn't get overheard.

"Every time Bakura sees him, he just sinks lower and lower." Jounouchi muttered glumly, sitting down on the couch. "He's just so miserable."

"We have to help him."

"We can't." Yami silenced his lighter half as soon as he could. "Yugi… He's in total despair. He looks like an anorexic, he's suicidal, he's not sleeping or eating… We've tried everything."

"No we haven't!" Yugi protested, sniffing. "I-If we'd done everything we could then Bakura wouldn't be so sad…"

"We can't get them back together." Jounouchi folded his arms, staring at the carpet. "And that's the only way Bakura is ever going to be happy."

"But the spirit wont let himself." Yugi mumbled mournfully. "It's not gonna work out, he's so stubborn…"

"We need to accept that we've done all we can do." Yami muttered, deep in thought. "Maybe we need to get into contact with his father… Could he help him?"

"Dunno." Jounouchi shrugged. "But I know they haven't been on speaking terms in a year, so… I guess not."

"But he's still Bakura's father." Yugi argued. "It's not like that's going to change."

"Fathers' are assholes." Jounouchi stated flatly. Yugi frowned.

"Now, that's not very nice-"

"Mine's a drunken _prick,_ Bakura's married someone else and outcasted him, and yours has been gone for years." Jounouchi cut through Yugi's argument.

"Lets not go there." Yami quelled the pair with an austere gaze. "I think we're forgetting the point here. What are we doing with Bakura? He can't stay here being so miserable, it's not being fair on anyone."

"He's not going into any sort of hospital." Yugi spoke up the moment he could, twisting his hands in his lap. "Y-You can't…" Jounouchi and Yami exchanged glances.

"Bakura said something about maybe going to stay with Malik." Jounouchi lowered his gaze back down to the carpet. "Remember? Maybe that'll work out…"

"I don't understand that." Yugi frowned, chewing on his lip. "Bakura doesn't love Malik…"

"He just wants something." Jounouchi tried to explain to his smaller friend. "Really, Malik's the only one he can talk to honestly right now. He's the only one that'll understand… Look, if Bakura wants to move in with Malik somewhere, then I'll support it. He deserves to be a hell of a lot happier than what he is now." Yugi nodded, and Yami sighed.

"I just hope it works out, somehow." Yugi murmured, near tears.

* * *

"Fucking bastard." Bakura muttered, leaning against the headboard of his bed. He was naked, the thick blankets pulled up to his waist. Pale, bony hands were clenched into fists at his sides, and his knees were drawn up to his chest.

Malik and Ryou were going to be a couple.

It was a severe blow to Bakura. He'd thought that Ryou would be so emotionally destroyed that he would never be able to love again- selfishly, that was actually what he wanted to happen. But no, apparently, Ryou was so fucking _fine_ that he could just go ahead and run away with Malik like it was what he wanted all along.

_It's what Malik wanted._ Bakura snarled at the thought, his hands tightening. _All this fucking time he's tried to be my friend again and help me and pretend to give a shit, he was just fucking __**lying**__. He only wants Ryou the way I did. It's what he lives and breathes. It always has been._

Bakura felt betrayed. He felt pissed off to the point where he would have severely beaten on Malik, had he not kicked him out. _What the hell is wrong with him? I bet he's been plotting this the whole time, the sneaky snake..._

_Ryou's not fine, either._ Bakura closed his eyes, gritting his teeth. _Look at the state of him. It's not really his fault, he's just so frightened and alone that he's latching on to anything he can. And Malik's being there. Fuck, if I suggested anything, he would latch on to it, and wouldn't let go. _

_But he doesn't deserve that._ Bakura snarled_. This is his punishment for what he's done to me. He made his bed now he can lie in it. But I'll be damned if I'm going to ever let him go with that little slut Malik. Over my dead fucking body! Ryou doesn't deserve to be happy with anyone. He deserves to be alone and miserable._

_... That's just cruel._ Bakura wrapped his arms around his knees, biting his lip. _I... I forgave Malik for sleeping with Ryou because he's just an extremely messed-up kid. And because he needed friendship and guidance, even if he didn't realize it._

_But Ryou... He's even younger than Malik, by like, almost a year. And he's so much more innocent and naïve. At least Malik's a little harder. And of course Ryou's messed up and imbalanced, he's had Amane and his mother die on him, and everything that I've done..._

_Really, I've damaged him the most. I'm the one that's eroded his self-confidence, his religious beliefs, his courage and his security... I tried to build it back up again while we were together, but he was never the same again. _

_God, Ryou's right. I've done all this shit to him, and he forgave me because he wanted it to work. But It's different for me. Ryou betrayed me. He betrayed me after he swore that he would love me forever. We were engaged! What other way could I say that I was serious about us and wanted it to last forever? _

_But... If Ryou fell into a coma, how would I feel? I would be heartbroken, sure, and for months I wouldn't be able to do anything, but if there was no other option, and he was going to die, of course I would move on. Not with Malik, hell no. He's hot, but just a friend. And I thought that was just how Ryou felt._

_But Ryou would have been so emotionally fragile, Malik could have easily manipulated him. God, I know that. Twisting Ryou around my little finger has always been so easy, and if he was so emotionally debilitated the way he was..._

_Why am I giving Ryou some sort of justification for cheating on me?_ Bakura growled, and wrinkled his nose. _He doesn't deserve it. He slept with Malik and it's all there is to it-_

_Stop it. _Bakura shook his head._ You know it's not black and white like that. Ryou is genuinely sorry for it and he wouldn't do it again... What am I saying? If he wasn't gonna do it again, he wouldn't move in somewhere with Malik, even if I made it clear it was over forever for us._

_That's not fair. _Bakura inclined his head slightly in a bow._ Ryou's had the chance to plead for forgiveness and he has, over and over again. He's really sorry, and if I asked him to never see Malik again, he would. I just have that much control over him._

_It's so stupid. That's what all of this has stemmed from. Me wanting to be able to hold that undying power over Ryou. What a shallow and pathetic motive. I hurt Ryou so much, and all I had to do to get it was say I loved him. And we're not together, and I still have all this power over him. And I haven't used it. Barely ever. I could exploit the hell out of him and turn him my eternal slave, and I haven't. Doesn't that mean something?_

_Everything's fucking up here. I look and feel like shit, Ryou's almost completely gone... This keeps up, he's gonna die. Unless he goes with Malik. Which I wont let him do. If I force him to be alone, he'll kill himself. He's already tried to. And I couldn't handle that. When I thought he died, I almost shut down. I couldn't go through losing him._

_I don't want him around, but I don't want to lose him._ Bakura's hands tightened on his legs._ This is fucked up to the extreme. I need to talk to him. I need to... I need to make it very clear that he's not allowed to be with Malik. But he'll only do that if I give him something in return... He can't stay with that fucking brat forever, I know that... _

_I know what I have to do. But I __**don't want to**_

_... And, yet, I do._ Bakura's eyes stung uncomfortably. _If I take Ryou back, we would both be so happy… But my goddamn pride is never going to let me._

* * *

"Oh man, I hate this _rain."_ Yugi complained the moment he walked into the house, pulling off his soaked jacket.

"Tell me about it." Jounouchi muttered, following suit. "Hey Yami, you go the heater in there?" He called out, shaking droplets of water from his blonde mane.

"Sure." Yami sat up a little on the couch, still absorbed in his hand-held video game. Ryou was curled up on a small armchair, reading intently, with a small smile on his face.

"Awesome." Yugi made a beeline for the heater as soon as he entered the lounge, throwing his sopping jacket over the arm of the couch. Jounouchi simply dropped his to the ground, as did Honda, leaving Anzu to pick them up with a frown.

"Nice guys." She sighed, folding them nicely over the couch arm, before unbuttoning her school blazer, which fell on top of the royal blue cloth. "Tidy."

"Hey, it's Monday, cut us some slack." Honda groaned, cross-legged on the floor. "Geez."

"Did the principal ask about me?" Ryou murmured in the moment of silence, lowering his book. The four huddled beside the heater fell silent.

"Um, yeah." Yugi muttered, biting his lip. "He came to our table at lunch… Bakura, you should have seen it actually, he packed the biggest spaz I've ever seen. It was…"

"Epic." Jounouchi finished with a smirk. "He was seriously upset about it. But then we mentioned how you were at home recovering from a suicide attempt he instigated, and he shut right up. It was quite funny actually." Ryou smiled for a moment. "Everyone went really quiet at the tables around us though, so uh… people kinda know now Bakura… Sorry."

"… That's okay." Ryou finally mumbled after a short period of silence. "I mean, it was bound to come out, and… I dunno, I might not even be going back there."

"True." Anzu pointed out, rubbing her arms. "Oh come _on_, it's still so cold…" Honda nodded, his eyes fixated on the brunette black bra beneath the school shirt, which, being wet and white, had gone see-through. "_Honda!"_ Jounouchi and Yugi both scooted across the carpet quickly as Anzu flew at the other brown-haired teen.

"Yami… _what_ are you playing?" Yugi raised an eyebrow as he stared at his darker half, who was entranced with the large grey plastic. The Egyptian spirit said nothing, keeping his eyes focused on the tine, black-and-white screen.

"It's one of those old brick games." Ryou smiled again, fighting back a giggle. "He found it this morning. I said I would give him fifty dollars if he won it."

"Fifty bucks?" Jounouchi cried out, eyes widening. "Ryou, you don't have that kind of money." Ryou shrugged, raising his book again.

"I know." His grin widened. "But it's Tetris." Yami's gaze never flickered from the console, his fingers never leaving the two keys.

"Ohhh…." Yugi nodded, grinning. "Nice one." Jounouchi shook his head, before pulling himself up into the couch, relaxing into the upholstery. "I'm exhausted…"

"Same." Yugi murmured, fighting back a yawn. "It's this bloody rain, I'm sure." Jounouchi opened his mouth to respond, when the phone rang.

"Oh crap… I'll get it!" The shortest teen chorused, jumping up and running over to where the phone rested on it's cradle. "Hello, Yugi speaking."

"You." The harsh voice on the other end made Yugi jump. "Put Ryou on the phone."

"Wh-What do you want…" The tone in Yugi's voice made Ryou and Jounouchi look up.

"Put Ryou on the phone." Bakura repeated on the other end, his voice tense. "Now."

"Wh-What do you want with him?" Yugi stammered, slowly walking towards the whitenette.

"Oh, for fucks sake, just put him on!" Bakura snarled, his anger starting to get the better of him, Yugi squeaked, and held the phone at arms length.

"Who is it?" Ryou inquired, looking up from his book again. Yugi inhaled deeply, and swallowed.

"It's… The spirit of the Ring." Yugi murmured blankly, holding out the phone. "He-"

"Gimme." Ryou jumped out of the chair, his book tumbling to the floor. He pressed the phone against his ear, his heart rate and breathing quickening. _What does he want? Oooh..._ "H-Hello?"

"Yeah." Bakura muttered, his stomach going slightly soft at the sound of Ryou's voice. His free hand gripped the steering wheel.

"U-Um, h-how are you?" Ryou murmured lamely, his face slowly flushing, as every pair of eyes in the room turned to look at him.

"Shit." Bakura was short, starting at the road ahead of him, squinting in the rain. "What do you think."

"O-Oh… Me too." Ryou licked his lips. "W-Worse, even, I think…"

"You can't be worse than me." Bakura snarled. "No fucking way."

"B-Bakura…" Ryou almost whimpered. "Wh-Why are you being so short, what did I do wrong?" The words were out of his mouth before he could think about them properly. Bakura gave a very short laugh on the phone.

"Are you fucking _serious?_" Bakura was incredulous. "What did you fucking do _wrong?_"

"Okay, I'm sorry!" Ryou cut in, his lip trembling. "It was the wrong thing to say, I-I get it."

"Fucking hell…" Bakura muttered, rolling his eyes. "Look. We need to talk okay?" Ryou's heart lifted, even if it was just slightly.

"Wh-Where?" He breathed, gripping the phone tightly. Bakura bit his lip, casting his mind about.

"… The bridge." Bakura sighed, thinking of the first place that came to mind. _It's pissing with rain. No one will be there, it's perfect._ "Meet me there in ten minutes."

"Yeah, 'Kura sure-" The sound of the dial tone reached his ears. "Oh." Ryou pressed the 'off' button, and stared into space for a moment, biting his lip.

"What's going on?" Jounouchi asked, tilting his head to one side. "Ryou…"

"Bakura wants to see me." Ryou snapped out of his daze, a grin splitting across his face. "He… He wants to talk to me…" Ryou's hands were shaking as he set the phone down on the coffee table. "Oh dear…" The whitenette looked down at his oversized sweatshirt and worn jeans. "I gotta go _change..._" He fled the lounge, running towards his bedroom.

"No way." Jounouchi's disbelieving voice broke the silence. "No bloody way. He couldn't…"

"I don't get it." Yugi blinked. "Why could he want to talk to Bakura? He's already claimed everything was completely over… How could it get any worse?"

"Unless he was leaving the country." Honda muttered, shooting a death glare to Anzu, who was rearranging her tousled hair. Yugi and Jou froze.

"… That is a very real possibility." Jounouchi murmured slowly, frowning. "I can see that happening… God, that would just break his heart."

"Someone has to tell him to not keep his hopes up." Yugi bit his lip, looking down at his shoes. "It's just cruel for him to keep being so deluded like that-"

"Hey, Yugi, can I ask a favour?" Ryou was breathless as he ran into the living room. "I need to borrow a few dollars for a cab… I'll pay you back later, I swear…" Yugi blinked as Ryou anxiously grabbed the phone, ready to call a taxi, his coat half pulled over his shoulders. "Please?"

Yugi should have berated Ryou. He should have told him not to get his hopes up, that there was no way it could ever possibly be good news, and that if Ryou thought there was the slightest possibly that there was any chance that him and Bakura could ever be together again, he was deluding himself.

But instead, Yugi merely dug around in his pocket, forcing a smile on his face, simply unable to wipe the expression of hopeful joy from Ryou's face.

* * *

"Fuck, I just wish it would stop _raining._" Bakura mumbled, brushing a lock of hair, limp and sodden with water, out of his eyes. The drops were huge, falling thick and fast, and also extremely cold. Nothing seemed more miserable than heavy, freezing rain. The yami leaned over slightly, the low concrete barrier rough beneath his hands. He stared at the wide brown river beneath him, flowing outwards, churning roughly and littered with debris.

"Come on, Ryou." Bakura muttered, closing his eyes for a moment. "Where the fuck are you…" His hand threatened to dive into his pocket, grab his cellphone, and call the little brat again to see where Ryou was, but he resisted. He'd wait another few minutes before leaving.

Secretly, Bakura was glad for the extra time. To his eternal shame, the thought of an actual planned meeting with Ryou clammed him up like a gawky, awkward teenager. Sure, he'd met Ryou since he'd woken up from his coma, but they were circumstance, chance. He wasn't prepared. He didn't have a monologue going through his head, or rehearsed solutions to Ryou's possible reaction to what he was going to say.

One thing was for sure though- Bakura knew he wasn't going to be happy.

"Bakura!" The soft, high voice, cutting through the wind and rain made Bakura freeze. He tore his gaze away from the river, and turned around. He caught a glimpse of a slim figure in a thick black coat, woven from black wool, with long white hair, step out of a cap about twenty feet down the road. Ryou leaned through the front window, and handed the taxi driver a bill, which then drove off, rubber tyres splashing cold water from the gutter as it went past. Bakura swallowed as Ryou ran towards him, his frail form threatening to slip over on the wet sidewalk.

"… Hey." Bakura finally muttered, as Ryou slowed to a stop in front of him. He looked back down at the wide brown river again, his hands gripping the old concrete railing. Ryou panted, and bowed his head slightly, his emaciated figure exhausted from running that short distance.

"H-Hi Kura…" Despite the cold, Ryou's cheeks were flushed, tinged a pretty rose, and Ryou kept his wide brown eyes lowered to the puddles on the footpath. "I-It's really good to see you again…"

"Yeah, whatever." Bakura muttered gruffly, keeping a cool profile, making sure that he kept himself as distant to Ryou as he could. It was just easier that way. "I know about what Malik said." Ryou bit his lip, and raised his head a little, his hands shoved into the pockets of his thick coat. "About you guys living together."

"O-Oh…" Ryou finally stammered in consent, his gentle voice tugging at Bakura's heartstrings. There was no doubt about it- Ryou was starting, just a little, to get to him. "I-I-"

"You're not moving in with him." Bakura growled, keeping his voice low. Ryou swallowed, and tilted his head slightly to one side, shivering in the cold rain.

"Wh-Why not?" Ryou inquired innocently, his teeth wanting to chatter. Bakura's bare hands, deathly white, tensed on the barrier, Ryou saw, but the white-haired spirit kept his cool.

"Because." Bakura snarled. "It's not right. Going with him after what you two have done… It's disgusting Ryou. I would think you, of all people, would have higher morals." Ryou's mouth fell open slightly, and his heart sank at the cold, condescending tone in Bakura's voice.

"I-I'm sorry…" Ryou mumbled, his voice stuttering and trembling. "But… Y-You have to understand, I-I can't stay with Yugi, a-and no one wants me…" Bakura snorted, rolling his eyes.

"You mean, if, say, Jounouchi or Anzu asked for you to live with them, you would say yes?" Bakura snarled, still looking down at the river.

"W-Well…" Ryou swallowed. "M-Maybe Jou, I-I know him a bit more than Anzu, but-"

"Slut." Bakura spat in contempt. "Listen to yourself. Listen to how low you have become, Ryou. Begging and pleading for someone to take you in. Purely because you're too much of a fucking pussy to handle the real world without someone doing everything for you-"

"_Stop it!_" Ryou screamed out of turn. Bakura froze, and his head whipped around, freezing as he stared at the teenager. Tears were running down Ryou's face, and he was trying hard to suppress the sobs that wracked his shoulders. This wasn't what Ryou was planning –hoping- for at all. He felt sick with dread, and guilt, even though he knew he shouldn't. Bakura kept his gaze fixed on Ryou, who was trying to hard to retain what was left of his composure, even though his heart was currently being ripped apart. "That's not how it is, Bakura! Y-You're being so unfair to me…" Ryou's breathing increased, and he slowly took a step towards the man he so desperately loved.

"… You're not staying with Malik." Bakura repeated, trying to keep his heart rate down, and suppress the tiniest sensations of guilt. "You hear me?" Ryou's lower lip trembled, as fresh, hot tears spilled down already wet cheeks.

"W-Where can I go?" Ryou pleaded pathetically, holding himself, his sodden clothes freezing. Bakura finally tore his gaze away from Ryou, and looked out over the water again, his heart pounding.

"Back to the house." He heard Ryou's breath hitch. "You can come live there again." A wide grin split across Ryou's face, and his heart soared.

"R-Really?" He gasped, clasping his hands together. "Bakura, oh, you're so sweet! Thank you so much, I-I swear we'll work everything out and-"

"Stop." Bakura growled. "Stop right there before you get carried away." Ryou froze, liquid brown eyes narrowing slightly.

"What-"

"You're having the house because I'm leaving." Bakura snarled, making sure to keep a note of contempt in his voice. "I'm leaving Domino, leaving Japan… I'm going far away Ryou, and I'm not coming back."

How was it possible to feel suck a wide range of emotions in such a short time? From hope, to distress, to pure joy, and the sickest dread and cold fear. Ryou burst into tears, shaking his head violently.

"No…" Ryou breathed, sick with shock. "No way…"

"I can't handle running into you all of the time. Wherever I go, you just fucking show up, Ryou. This town is too small to _not_ keep meeting you. And every time I do, I lose control of myself and flip out. I can't keep doing that! I just wanna be somewhere were no one knows me, and I can completely forget about _you_." Ryou was sobbing, head bowed, and knees weak.

"N-No!" Ryou ran the last few steps towards Bakura, and, surprising the both of them, grabbed at the collar of Bakura's jacket. "No, Bakura, you c-can't leave me! Please, I-I'll do anything you want… Anything at all, I swear, just _please_ don't leave me!"

"Ryou, get the hell off!" Bakura spun around, so the back of Ryou's thighs pressed against the concrete barrier. The whitenette held on tightly, making sure that Bakura kept his eyes locked with him. "I mean it, I've made up my mind!"

"Take it back!" Ryou pleaded, desperate. "Say you won't leave me, Bakura, please!"

"Ryou, get _off!_" Bakura yelled. The yami grabbed Ryou's wrists, and yanked them away from his coat, his fingers digging in to ice-cold pale skin. Ryou cried out in pain, and shook his head.

"No…" Ryou moaned, feeling sicker than ever, "You _cant!"_ He made to grab Bakura again, to shake him and scream at him for even suggesting something so cruel, to plead and bed and cry for him to reconsider. Bakura wasn't thinking rationally as he pushed at Ryou's shoulders with severe force. He only wanted to get the distressed teenager away from him, but forgot he was _pushed against the low barrier_.

Ryou screamed, as his feet left the concrete sidewalk, feeling himself overbalancing, the railing disappearing beneath him, falling…

Bakura seemed to see it in slow motion. Ryou crying out as he was roughly shoved, over the low railing. Pale hands flailed wildly, grasping onto nothing. And Bakura stood perfectly still, as Ryou fell, his heart freezing in his chest, with shock. He didn't move as he heard the _Splash_ a few seconds later as Ryou hit the muddy, freezing water, totally numb and disbelieving.

Ryou opened his mouth to scream in pain at both the impact of landing, and the needle-like piercing cold of the river, and muddy, brown water rushed in. The whitenette choked, thrashing his arms and legs wildly, trying desperately to get to the top again… get some air…

"_BAKURA!"_ Ryou screamed at the top of his weak lungs, his thin voice cutting through the wind in the rain, reaching Bakura's ears. The yami was still standing perfectly frozen, his mouth slightly open, heart pounding. The world felt like it was reeling beneath him. _"BAKURA, I CANT SWIM!"_

The rough current forced Ryou back under. The whitenette got another mouthful of muddy water, his cheek scratched by a submerged tree branch. Ryou struggled weakly, his head feeling dizzy, overstuffed, lungs screaming as he thrashed about to get himself both to surface, and towards the bridge, all too aware of the current that was quickly pushing Ryou further away from the only stable structure in the river for miles.

"_BAKURA HELP!"_ The yami took two slow steps towards the railing, and bent his back slightly, peering over, eyes still widened in shock. "_PLEASE!"_ He caught a glimpse of a little white head, arms stretched out in the foolish hope Bakura could somehow just reach down and pluck him out. Bakura stared, motionless, as Ryou was pushed under the water again, the taste in his mouth growing sour. He waited for Ryou to burst out from the water once more, screaming and pleading, waited for even just a slim hand to thrust out of the rushing wave of brown, begging for help.

But Ryou did not rise from the depths of the river again.

* * *

Ahh... Hahahahaha...

Umm... Don't kill me, please?

R&R?


	35. Chapter 35

ahahahaha... I bet some people are angry, no?

-whimper- I'm sorry.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

Bakura stood absolutely stock still on the sidewalk of the bridge, staring blankly out over the water. He felt numb. He couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't breathe…. Only one thing ran through his mind, seeming to throb in time with his pounding heart. _Ryou._

_He's drowned._

Bakura was trembling violently, unable to even think coherently. _Ryou's dead._

_NO!_

The yami gasped, shaking his head, and jumping up onto the concrete barrier, stared down at the river. _He's okay… Oh fuck, he has to be okay! I wanted Ryou to go away but not this! Oh God Ryou Ryou Ryou Ryou Ryou… Shit! Shit shit shit! What the fuck have I done!_

_I'm getting him. I have to get him._

"Ryou, hold on!" Bakura screamed through the rain as he shrugged off his thick coat, sodden with water, and took a deep breath. He was barely able to register what he was going to do, jumping into freezing cold water. All he could think about was Ryou, screaming in the water, battling against the current, sinking below the surface…

He didn't think, as he dived off the barrier, filling his lungs with as much air as he possibly could, the wind rushing in his ears, rain still bucketing down on him, the thick muddy water looming up towards him-

_FUCK!_ Bakura gasped as he hit the water, remembering to keep his arms above his head to break the surface. The rain, which was chilling in itself, was nothing, nothing compared to the numbing cold of the fast flowing river. Bakura choked as he tried to inhale, the breath knocked out of his lungs, and pushed his way up to the surface.

"_Shit!"_ He cursed out loud, shivering in the intense cold. He coughed, his breath shuddering as he struggled to inhale deep breaths of air. The wind whipped through his hair, blowing sodden white tresses across his face, cold rain pelting him like bullets. Anxiously, Bakura scanned the turbulent waters, looking for something- anything- that signified where Ryou was. A hand, a lock of hair, his coat…

Nothing. All Bakura could see was the endless churning of brown water, trailing off out to the coast. _No!_ Bakura sucked in a deep lungful of air, and propelled himself back into the water. He didn't dare open his eyes, instead he swam with his arms outstretched, heading downstream, hoping, praying that he might possibly be able to snag an arm or leg of Ryou's, or the hem of his clothing. Deep down, however, Bakura knew it was completely hopeless. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack, only worse.

Something brushed his leg.

Bakura froze, his head swimming, lungs protesting loudly the he _had_ to get some air _now_, before he passed out. His heart beat like a dull drum in his chest and ears, both in fear, shock, and the desperate need for oxygen. Bakura's limbs trembled as he turned a somersault in the water, changing his direction, and grabbing at whatever had touched him. His heart almost exploded in relief as cold finger enclosed around a slim, bony wrist. Bakura arched his neck, kicking his legs desperately as he pushed upwards, towards the surface of the water.

The moment his head broke the water's face, Bakura took in a deep gasp of air, turning his face up to the sky. He was still for a couple of seconds, before remembering the figure that was still being suspended underwater, jerking wildly against his grip. He wasn't floating, because there would have been no air in his lungs…

"Shit!" Bakura pulled Ryou up to the surface , gripping his shoulders while he kicked at the water, trying to resist the strong current that was pushing the pair further and further away from the bridge. Their eyes only connected for a second, before Ryou grabbed at Bakura's neck, pressing himself as close to his savior as he possibly could, shuddering and gasping for air. Both were sick with relief that Ryou was okay, but knew they were in no way at all out of the woods yet. "Hell, Ryou." Bakura groaned, Ryou's unsupported weight threatening to drag them both down. It was that dratted coat… "Shit." Treading water, Bakura's hands sank into the water, to the fastenings on Ryou's coat. Instead of undoing the buttons, feeling as though he didn't have the time, Bakura simply tore them all off, the coat now hanging off Ryou's shoulders. He started to tug at the sodden, thick black material, but was hindered by Ryou's arms, which were wrapped tightly around his neck, almost to the point of strangulation.

"Ryou, you gotta let go." Bakura urged, raising his voice over the howling of the wind and rain. Ryou whimpered, and made an indistinguishable noise, before tightening his grip on Bakura, his legs tense, tightly wrapped around Bakura's waist. If it wasn't for their situation, Bakura would have _certainly_ found the whole thing very erotic…

"No." Ryou finally managed to moan hoarsely, sobbing. He was traumatized, ice-cold, stricken with fear, his heart thudding in his chest and his arms and legs trembling. Bakura growled, and started to turn in to water, facing the bridge. His eyes widened when he saw how far away the structure was. _Shit... I can't make it, not with Ryou being a dead weight like this._ If he ditched Ryou, and swam, he could have made it, but not for one second did that thought cross his mind. Instead, Bakura reached around, and grabbed Ryou's bony wrists, forcing the teenager's arms from his neck, panicking, fearing for both of their lives.

"Ryou, you have to get that jacket off!" Bakura screamed, looking Ryou in the eye. "It's weighing you down, you twit!" Ryou squeaked, his chocolate-brown orbs wide with fear. Before he had a chance to protest, Bakura yanked at the coat, and pulled it down Ryou's arms, until the slim teenager was free, He let it float off down the river without a second thought, and Ryou immediately wrapped his arms around Bakura's neck again, pressing his nose into the yami's collarbone.

"D-Don't leave me." Ryou stuttered, his lips blue. "P-Please…" He was cold, so cold… Bakura only growled, and rolled his eyes, hardening with resolve. He kicked out with his feet, trying his best to swim with Ryou clinging to him like a limpet.

"Just stay calm." Bakura muttered, his already exhausted and panicking. The bridge was way too far away, he'd never make it… He continued to swim in dogged determination, teeth gritted, trying to ignore the odd sensation that his head was overstuffed with cotton wool. Despite his best efforts, though, Bakura couldn't help but shake of the unsettling feeling that no matter how hard he tried, the powerful current of the river was just pushing him further and further back. _No!_ Bakura shook his head, heart pounding. He kicked his legs harder, his arms slicing through the water, trying to keep his head and Ryou's above the water. He was losing…

No. Bakura fixed his stare on the bridge for a moment, judging it's distance. It was definitely closer than before.. No doubt about it, Bakura was making progress, albeit extremely slowly. It was a major boost for Bakura, increasing his determination. _I'm not letting Ryou die._ Although the water was shockingly cold, crashing against him every few seconds, and Ryou was clinging onto him so hard that he was almost choking the yami, Bakura refused to give up. He refused to just slow down and wait for himself and Ryou to drown.

Ryou, at this point, was barely functioning. He was naturally smaller than Bakura, and also thinner, having virtually no body fat. And also, he'd been in the icy cold water longer than Bakura, and had endured longer periods of time underwater without air. He was sure there was water in his lungs, judging from his difficulty to breathe, he could no longer feel and move his fingers and toes, his lips were blue, his teeth chattering, and chest so cold he was in pain from it. If Bakura ever said anything, Ryou couldn't hear it. He could barely feel the bony frame he so desperately clung to. All Ryou could think about was how cold the water he was submerged in, how much it made him hurt and slowly grow increasingly numb.

"Fucking shit." Bakura panted, sapped of almost all of his strength, increasingly aware of the still body that was pressed to him, shuddering violently in extreme cold every few seconds. _Well, I'm fucking cold, too. My fingers are starting to fucking lock up. Shit Ryou, I need you to stay with me…_ Bakura was gasping for air, carrying on with dogged determination, until he was finally looking up at the old stone bridge, eyes darting from side to side as he looked for a way to get _out._ Rain pelted on his face, and freezing wind cut his cheeks like a knife. _No way, there has to be a way up for when shit like this happens!_ Bakura's anxious gaze settled on the stone pillar directly in front of him, and he felt like crying in joy.

A ladder.

To weak to swim properly, Bakura dog-paddled towards the ladder, fighting to keep their heads above water, his breathing weak and shallow. It was only feet away, but it seemed like miles. Finally, Bakura was able to reach out, hands quivering, and grasp a rung of the rusting ladder. He didn't relax, however, until he had two hands on the ladder, his feet wedged in the metal bars underwater, his forehead leaning against it.

"Holy shitting fuck." Bakura gasped for air, his chest heaving. His arms and legs felt like straw, his chest ached, and he was dizzy. "Holy… Jesus… Fucking… Christ." He panted between deep lungfuls' of air. "That was… Shit." Ryou only made some nonsensical sound in his throat, barely aware that he was relatively safe. "Ryou…" Bakura muttered weakly, his fingers curling into the ladder. "Ryou, talk to me, stay awake…"

"Mmmm." Ryou mumbled, still shaking violently, his cheek frighteningly cold against Bakura's neck. The yami closed his eyes, and groaned, before opening them again, and grudgingly removing one hand from the ladder.

"Ryou." Bakura's voice was firmer this time, with a strong edge to it. "Stay awake, please." Ryou only moaned. "Oh, come on!" Bakura gritted his teeth, and unable to handle Ryou anymore, grabbed a handful of his hair, and pulled back hard. Ryou cried out loudly as his neck was forcibly arched back, and his eyes snapped open . "STAY AWAKE!" Bakura growled, his eyes flashing dangerously. Ryou gasped, and blinked, staring into Bakura's eyes, which were cold with fury. His head fell forward slightly as Bakura released his grip on his sodden white tresses, but he managed to keep it erect. Bakura froze at Ryou's deathly pale face, strangely bright eyes, and blue lips. "Oh fuck."

"K-Kura…" Ryou breathed weakly, his back pressed firmly against the ladder, arms and legs still wrapped tightly around the yami.

"What?" Bakura snarled, ignoring the affectionate nickname, replacing his hand on the ladder. He managed to pull himself and Ryou up one rung.

"I-I'm…" Ryou swallowed, close to tears. "S-S-So c-cold… P-P-Please…" Bakura groaned, and bit his lip. He pressed a hand against Ryou's forehead for a moment, and then drew it back in shock, eyes wide. His own hand was so cold that even the ladder seemed warm, but Ryou's skin felt like ice.

"Shit." Bakura cursed, trying to keep a tremor of fear out of his voice. _Get Ryou out of the water __**now**_ He nodded, and looked up to the top of the bridge, which seemed like a million miles up into the sky. He'd almost rather be back in the water. "Look into my eyes." Bakura instructed, unable to think of any other way to hold Ryou's attention. Ryou whimpered, and obeyed, locking their gaze. Bakura was forced to try and push himself as far out into the air as he could, to make sure Ryou wasn't scraping his back against the ladder, which put further strain on his arms and legs. He groped for the rungs above him as he continued to climb, his eyes never leaving the upper half of Ryou's face. The teenager's eyes welled up with tears as he stared at Bakura, the numbness spreading up his limbs. Bakura returned the gaze with equal energy, wincing whenever the old ladder started to creak and sag dangerously.

Finally, however, Bakura reached the top if the ladder. He sighed deeply in relief as his hands came into rain-splattered concrete, as opposed to the rusting ladder, and finally broke his gaze from Ryou to haul himself over the railing and onto the sidewalk of the bridge, without scraping Ryou's soft skin against anything. The moment he was on concrete ground, he yanked Ryou's arms away from his neck, and pushed his legs down from his waist, letting the teenager collapse onto the pavement. Bakura sank into the ground, totally exhausted, leaning against the concrete barrier, his face turned heavenwards. Ryou was on all fours, head bowed as he coughed heavily, river water trickling from his lips. Bakura closed his eyes, inwardly shrinking away as Ryou started to retch, emptying his stomach of the disgusting brown water he had inevitably swallowed. When he was finished, the teenager moaned weakly, and fell back on his rear, bursting into tears as he was attacked by the vicious wind and rain.

…_Car._ It was the first coherent thought that ran through Bakura's head. _Get the car._ He groaned, and rubbed at his eyes, but complied, shakily standing up, leaning heavily on the barrier. _Keys… In coat._ Bakura shook his head, and slowly, stumblingly, walked towards the little black huddle of cloth that was his coat about twenty feet away. His teeth chattered as he picked up his coat, reaching into the breast pocket. He extracted his keys with a jangle, and swallowed, looking up and over at Ryou, who was on folded legs, his head in his hands, crying. _Shit…_

Ryou was numb. Both figuratively, and literally. He was in total shock over what had happened, falling into the river, almost drowning, and being carried to safety at the last minute… And also, was physically unable to feel almost anything . And it terrified him. Thoughts of hypothermia ran through his head, and he was unable to block them out, hunched over on the concrete.

Ryou jumped as Bakura's wet, but nevertheless thick jacket was hastily thrown over his shoulders. He looked up blearily, and was only able to focus on Bakura for a few seconds, before he bowed his head again, groping wildly for the coat, and pulling it down over his shoulders and around his middle. The jacket managed to block out the chilling wind, which was prolonging Ryou's increasing sense of cold, but did nothing to help keep him dry. Bakura's voice reached his ears, but only vaguely, and Ryou wasn't able to take most of it in. Something about a car… The teenager sniffed, his nose already blocked, almost in spasms over the intense cold he was enduring. Ryou slowly rocked himself back and forth, sobbing. Where was Bakura? Oh, how he longed to be back in those strong, safe arms, that saved him from drowning, to be able to press his nose into Bakura's neck, to be able to look into his eyes… Ryou drew his legs up to his chest, resting his forehead on his knees, making himself as small as possible, trying to conserve the little body heat he had left.

"Fucking hell." Bakura's hands trembled as he stopped the car, staring out the window at Ryou. He looked so pathetic and miserable… _Why the fuck did you have to push him? Look at the kid, he's beside himself…_ Bakura shook his head, pushing the self-berating thoughts aside, and stepping out of the car. He blinked away rain as it sprinkled his face strongly, snarling, and slowed to a stop once he was standing a foot opposite the whitenette. "Ryou." Bakura made sure his voice was loud enough to cut through the wind and rain, but Ryou paid him no need. "Shit…" Bakura groaned, and simply grabbed at the upper half of Ryou's arms. The teenager gasped, and looked up, his eyes focusing on Bakura. "Come on…" Bakura slowly stood up, forcing Ryou's slowly stiffening body up also. "There…" The coat was still draped around Ryou's shoulders, but it was ignored, and Ryou grabbed at Bakura's arms himself, his breathing harsh, and ragged. Bakura slowly started to back towards the car, making sure to take it slow. Ryou whimpered, his numb legs making it very hard to find his footing, but he followed Bakura obediently, not shifting his gaze from Bakura's unreadable eyes.

"Okay." Bakura opened the passenger door, and slowly guided Ryou into the leather seat. He pulled off the coat, and tossed it over the back without a second thought, before closing the door, and almost running over to his own side of the car. "Fucking hell…" As soon as Bakura was inside, the door closed, he leaned his forehead against the steering wheel, getting a headache. He groaned for what seemed like the millionth time that afternoon, before lifting his head again, staring over at Ryou. The teenager was hunched over in his seat, his arms wrapped around his waist, head bowed and hair dripping water all over the place. Bakura bit his lip.

_I can't take him back to Yugi's._ He knew it was the truth._ That Pharaoh is gonna tear my mortal body apart and send my soul to the darkest depths of the underworld. Especially when he finds out I was the one who pushed him…. __**Why did I do that?**_ Bakura felt like kicking himself.

_Goddamn it. I'll have to take him back to my place and warm him up. _Bakura reached across the car, and pressed his hand against Ryou's forehead again. The teenager stilled for a second, his whimpers silenced._ Just as cold as before. Fuck._ He fiddled with the heater, and despite being completely frozen himself, turned all of the fans so they were facing Ryou, before turning onto the highest strength, and the highest temperature, in an attempt to warm up.

_I gotta go now._ Bakura started up the car, unable to look at Ryou. _Shit. He almost died today, and it was my fault._

_And I feel completely fucking guilty for it._

* * *

"Home sweet fucking home." Bakura muttered as he slowed that car to a stop, not bothering to put it inside the garage. He flicked a glance over towards Ryou, who was whimpering softly, his lips still blue and limbs numb. He could barely feel the heater. "Okay then, out." He pulled the keys from the ignition, and stepped out of the car, slamming the door behind him. Bakura walked around his Mercedes, and over to Ryou's side, where the door opened with a _click_. The teenager's eyes were closed, his teeth chattering. _God, he can't walk anywhere… Bloody hell._ Bakura shoved his keys in the pocket of his soaked, now skintight jeans, and leaned forward. Ryou was motionless as Bakura snaked an arm around his shoulders, and another underneath his knees, and slowly straightened himself up, hefting the fragile, ice-cold frame in his arms. Ryou's head lolled against Bakura's collarbone, and he mumbled something incoherent. Bakura frowned, and looked down at the teenager, who's eyes were half-open. "It's okay, Ryou." Bakura kept his voice as calm and rational as possible, leaning against the car door to close it. He made his across his overgrown lawn, and onto his front stoop, biting his lip as he lifted one leg to steady Ryou, his knee pressed against his bony rear, to free up one hand and get out his keys. 

Bakura's shoulders slumped in a sigh as he closed the front door behind him, tossing his keys onto the kitchen counter. Almost immediately, the yami walked as fast as he could, almost running, towards the lounge, remembering to flick on the light as he did so. Ryou groaned, and closed his eyes tightly, turning away from the light. Bakura sighed, and turned it way down, giving the room a soft, almost romantic glow. Ryou sniffed.

"Hey, don't be like that…" Bakura sighed, gently setting Ryou down in front of the heater, a big gas one which had been put in when the fireplace was removed before he bought the house. He turned the heater on, artificial flames leaping up behind the glass window. Ryou was lying on his side, face buried in the rug, dripping wet and still trembling. "Shit. I'll go get some towels and blankets." Although Bakura wanted nothing more than to succumb to the brilliant warmth of the heater, he stood up grumbling, and headed to the linen closet. Malik had thankfully done the washing before he left, and so a stack of thick, fluffy towels stared back at him as he opened the door. Bakura snatched them up, and also a very thick, woolen blanket on the bottom shelf, before kicking the door shut behind him, and running back into the living room, where Ryou was getting Bakura's nice shag rug all smelly and wet. Not that he cared at that moment, throwing himself to his knees beside Ryou, half-folded towels spread across the ground.

"Wha…" Ryou mumbled as Bakura rolled him onto his back, fiddling with the buttons of his shirt. "K-Kura-"

"Shhhh…" Bakura started to pull the soaked shirt down Ryou's bony shoulders, eyeing the goosebumps all over Ryou's deathly white skin. "I'm just getting these wet things off, then I'm gonna dry you out, and then you'll get warm again, 'kay?" Ryou moaned, nodding weakly as Bakura started to undo his jeans. They felt like cardboard, and Bakura struggled to pull them down Ryou's slim legs, but finally he was able to toss them aside. "Can you sit up a bit for me Ryou?"

"… Uhuh." Ryou murmured, propping himself up on his elbows, shivering, the heater yet to reach full temperature. The teenager froze, and his eyes widened as Bakura hooked his thumbs in the waistband of Ryou's boxers. "Kura-"

"Do you wanna get warm?" Bakura growled the words, his patience starting to wear thin. "Come on, it's nothing I haven't seen before anyway." Ryou swallowed, and lifted his hips a little to help Bakura pull his underwear down, his heartrate quickening. "Good." Bakura reached over, and grabbed one of the towels. He scooted over, so he was sitting behind the teenager, and unfurled the towel, wrapping it around Ryou's shoulders, and started to rub up and down. Ryou gasped, Bakura's nose by his ear, their bodies so close together…

Bakura pulled the towel away the moment it was damp, and grabbed another. Ryou's back pretty much done, he moved around, so he was facing Ryou, and grabbed his skinny arms, forcing the whitenette to hold them out. Ryou's breathing was ragged as Bakura rubbed the towel along his arms, until he was satisfied the skin was dry, and started to work on his chest.

"Feeling any better?" Bakura muttered shortly, as he rubbed a towel-covered hand in circular motions over Ryou's stomach, the pressure coming from the yami eventually enough to topple the frail teen over. "Shit." Bakura swore as Ryou collapsed onto his back, gasping. He eyed Ryou's glistening thighs, his teeth clamping down hard on his lip. _Don't think dirty thoughts, don't think dirty thoughts…_ Bakura shook his head. "Just stay lying down." Bakura quelled Ryou's attempts to try and sit himself up. "I'll get your legs." He grabbed one more towel, and slowly wrapped it around Ryou's right thigh, rubbing the wet skin dry. Ryou kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling, his teeth gritted, his fingers curled into the long white strands of the rug, trying desperately to think about anything, anything at all except for Bakura's hands, which were drying off his shin. Trying to keep his breathing deep, long and even, Ryou slowly closed his eyes.

"D-Done?" He finally stammered weakly, slowly sitting up again. Bakura nodded, casting the damp towel aside, and surveying Ryou. The teenager was still blue-lipped and shivering, his hair dripping cold water down his back and shoulders.

"Shit." Bakura got up on his knees to get behind Ryou, and wrapped the last towel left around his fluffy white head. "There." Ryou nodded weakly, and curled into a fetal position, shaking. Bakura sighed as he laid a hand on Ryou's still-cold skin, and grabbed the thick, soft blanket. He pulled it around Ryou's shoulders, who accepted the warmth gratefully. "Be back in a moment."

"…Kay." Ryou mumbled, staring into the fake fire, his teeth chattering, still cold. Although his arms and legs were slowly becoming less numb, he couldn't wiggle his toes, and still found it very hard to move his fingers. He sniffed, letting out a long, shuddering sigh. He couldn't shake the electric-like tingles that ran through his body, having Bakura's hands move over his naked body…

"Ugh." Bakura peeled off the last of his soaking wet clothes, and kicked them into a corner. He was soaking himself, but stupidly, used the only towels in the house to dry Ryou off. Groaning, Bakura slowly walked into the lounge naked, prodding the puddle of towels with his toe. Ryou paid him no heed. Bakura picked up the least damp towel, and ran back into his room, drying himself off as he did so. He threw on the first clothes he could find, a baggy pair of jeans and a red-and-black striped shirt with a wide neckline. He didn't bother with underwear, pulling his clothes over his damp skin. After shaking his hair wildly, rubbing it in the towel, Bakura had to admit he felt considerably warmer than before. He walked back into the lounge, and eyed the long black leather couch along the wall. The rug was damp at this point, and Bakura wanted Ryou to be comfortable, so he pushed the coffee table out of the way, and swiveled the couch around, until it was just a few feet away from the heater. Bakura grabbed the plump couch cushions, arranging them so they were all at the end of the couch, and slowly crouched down in front of Ryou.

"Come on, up on the couch." He looked into Ryou's wide brown eyes, who nodded weakly, swallowing. Ryou allowed Bakura to half-lift him up, slowly guiding him towards the couch. "There we go…" Ryou sighed as he was laid out on the couch, murmuring gently as Bakura rearranged the blanket, so it covered Ryou, making him as warm and cozy as he possibly could be. "Better?" Ryou nodded weakly, eyes drooping. "Good." Bakura slowly sank onto the carpet, beside Ryou's head, his eyes drifting towards the fake fireplace.

_Fuck._ Bakura felt like he was falling to pieces. He was just unable to even get his head around the current situation. When Ryou fell, and he was forced to rescue him, Bakura couldn't think about anything else, except that he had to get Ryou out, get him safe, make sure he was okay. And the fact that he still gave a crap about Ryou was a shock in itself.

But now he had nothing else to do, now Ryou was safe, dry, and slowly warming up, Bakura felt as though he had absolutely nothing to do but think about it all. Not that he wanted to, of course. _I was terrified when I watched Ryou almost drown. It was almost as bad as when I thought he killed himself. It's like I have this overprotective side that just came roaring out the moment he was in trouble. Like when I found him in the park. I didn't even care about what he'd done and why I was angry at him, just that it was Ryou, and that he needed my help so badly…_Bakura bit down hard on his lip. _This is almost the exact same feeling. But at the same time, it feels like I'm being ripped apart inside. Ripped apart with guilt. I did this to Ryou. Accident or no, this is my fault. He almost died, Goddamnit… _Bakura rested his forehead on his knees, which were drawn up to his chest._ And I can't get over how it makes me feel. And how… Relieved I am, to know that he's safe again. That has to say something… Doesn't it?_

_Of course it does._ Bakura closed his eyes. _Fuck, I've pretty much accepted that I'm still in love with him. And I know how happy he would be if I said that to him and how great that would make me feel-_

_NO._ Bakura's entire frame tensed._ There is no fucking way in hell that I'm ever going to go down that road. This is where it ends. Ryou can stay here for as long as he wants, but I'm packing my bags and leaving. If he has this house with all of the nice things in it, and enough money to keep him comfortable for a while, then he'll be happy wont he?_

_No, he would be incredibly lonely._ Bakura reminded himself. _He wouldn't be happy. He would eventually fall back on Malik, and then find happiness. As pissed off as that makes me…_

_But if we got back together…_ Bakura shook his head. _Things would certainly be real different than that. Ryou would be overjoyed. And so scared to fuck it up he'll bend over backwards to please me._

_Don't even consider this shit! _Bakura felt like punching something. _You're driving yourself insane. It can never happen between Ryou and I, not after everything we've gone through. It just would never seem right. I would have to wake up every morning, look into his eyes, and know that he was unfaithful to me. And I could never handle that. Ever. I need complete control of everything around me, or I go fucking nuts. Ryou most of all. I mean, right now, all I can think about when I think of Ryou is what he did with Malik, and it makes my fucking blood boil, every time. It's been months, and I'm still getting the same violent internal reaction. It's unfair and it's just plain fucked up._

"K-Kura?" The soft, gentle voice behind Bakura made him jump. His heart skipped a beat when he turned around, staring into wide brown eyes. He frowned when he noticed Ryou was still shivering, despite the thick blanket he was under.

"What." Bakura inwardly winced at his tone. He didn't mean to be that harsh, he didn't. Ryou recoiled, shying away, but stayed his ground, albeit biting his lip, with his eyes downcast.

"I um… I was wondering…" The whitenette asked quietly, swallowing. "I-I'm still so c-c-cold, and It's… Well, it's sorta common knowledge that body heat is good for warming you up-"

"Oh, Ryou, no." Bakura shook his head, his heart sinking in pity for the young boy. "Ryou, come on… We're just not gonna go there, okay?" Ryou blinked, raising his head slightly. "I get it, Ryou. Crawl naked into bed together and who knows what might happen…"

"Bakura, no." Ryou pleaded weakly, his breathing harsh. "I-I… I'm being serious… I-I'm so c-c-cold…" His chin trembled, and he looked steadily up into Bakura's narrowed crimson eyes. "P-P-Please…" Bakura rolled his eyes, and slowly uncrossed his arms. Ryou's eyes closed as Bakura pressed a palm against Ryou's forehead again. _Shit. He's still cold. I've dried him off, put him in blankets in front of the heater… What more do I have to do?_ "Please?" Ryou asked one more time, sniffing. Bakura sighed, long and hard, staring down at that thin, pale little face with lips that were still purple. _… Fuck it. _

"Just this once." Bakura snarled, tugging at the hem of his shirt. Ryou swallowed as it was tossed to the floor, and slowly closed his eyes. Bakura was far less than happy as he pulled off his jeans, straightening up and looking down at Ryou. He shivered, the air still somewhat cold. Slowly, Bakura leaned down, and pulled the blanket away from Ryou, who was curled up on his side, eyes tactfully closed. Bakura decided to go behind Ryou, both because he could keep Ryou as warm as possible, and also, he could keep an eye on him, if need be. Bakura slowly laid down beside the whitenette on the leather couch, resting on his side. "Stretch out." The yami commanded, pulling the blanket back over their bodies. Ryou nodded weakly, straightening his legs, nuzzling the pillow slightly. Bakura bit his lip as he shuffled forward, until his chest was touching Ryou's back. _Holy crap._ He almost jumped at the cold. Bakura held his ground, however, slowly scooting closer and closer to Ryou, until they were fused, almost, shoulders, hips, knees, and feet connected. Slowly, Bakura wrapped his free arm around Ryou's upper chest, trying to spread as much of the warmth as he could.

"Th-Thank you." Ryou whispered softly, his eyes half-open. His stomach, however, seemed full of butterflies. _Bakura is holding me like this. Bakura. _He felt so nervous, that he could throw up. He was just so terrified that he would somehow fuck up, and make Bakura angry at him and push him away…

In reality, it couldn't be further from the truth. Bakura was laying on the couch with his eyes closed, pressed up close to Ryou's cold skin…. And he liked it. As ashamed at himself as he was, Bakura was absolutely loving the sensation of holding the young teenager again. There was no way around it- After such a long time, Bakura really missed it. He missed everything about Ryou, his smile, his personality, his voice, his hair, his body… The list just went on. And to be given the change to lie there and cuddle Ryou… Deep down, he knew he couldn't have ever refused. Bakura sighed, his nose buried in Ryou's hair. The soft white strands tickled his nose, sending vague sensations of electricity down his spine. Funny, how such a feather-light touch could have such an effect on him. What occupied his mind more, however, was how his crotch pressed against Ryou's rear. _Fuck, that's not good._ The filthiest thoughts were running through his mind…

"This doesn't mean anything." Bakura didn't know who he was reassuring- Ryou, or himself. "It's just to warm you up. The moment you're fine, I'm moving." Ryou nodded, more hair tickling Bakura's face.

"I-I understand that." He breathed softly, his free hand slowly creeping up to where Bakura's arm was wrapped around his chest. Ryou's bony fingers just lightly grazed the damp skin, but it was enough to make Bakura's arm tingle. "I-I r-really appreciate it…" Bakura closed his eyes for a moment, hating the hopeful tone in Ryou's voice. _Don't start… God, I have to crush him right off the bat now_.

"Ryou." Bakura kept his tone as flat, and neutral as possible. The teenager frowned at the seriousness of the tone, and slowly rolled over onto his back. Bakura gritted at the sensation of Ryou's soft, cold skin shifting along his groin, and forced the sensations to just _go away._

"What is it?" Ryou looked over to Bakura with the widest, most innocent brown eyes Bakura had seen. The yami bit his lip, and slowly, got up on one elbow to look Ryou properly in the eyes.

"I… Oh fuck." Bakura gritted his teeth. _He just looks so pretty all spread out naked like that… No!_ Bakura kept staring down at Ryou's wide brown eyes, just unable to tear himself away. His heart skipped a beat, and then started thudding wildly in his chest. Ryou's breathing was harsh, and erratic, and his body pressed against Bakura's was trembling, not with cold this time, but with nerves.

"Wh-What?" Ryou breathed, his cheeks slowly flushing. "K-Kura…" He trailed off as Bakura's right arm slowly snaked across to the other side of Ryou. Bakura slowly started to lean over Ryou, swallowing. _What is he doing…_

_What am I doing?_ Bakura just couldn't tear his eyes away from Ryou's beautiful eyes. _I can't be doing what I think I'm doing… No, this is wrong! This isn't right! This is…_

_Ryou._

Everything else just seemed to melt away, and Bakura's heart seized up. He kept his gaze trained on Ryou's eyes, studying the emotions that flickered in his mocha-coloured depths. Ryou's breathing grew shallower even more, as Bakura leaned down closer towards Ryou's face. He looked so beautiful, wide-eyed and tousle-haired, paper-white, save for his flushed cheekbones.

Their lips were merely a few inches apart. Ryou made a strange sound in his throat, like an odd gasp, and his lips parted slightly, looking so rosy and plump in the soft, dim light…

Irrationally, Bakura closed his eyes, and dipped his head, closing the tiny gap between their mouths. Ryou's breath froze in his throat as Bakura kissed him, eyes as wide as saucers. Slowly, however, they fluttered closed, Ryou's hands, which were on the couch, slowly rising up to Bakura's body. The yami tilted his head to one side, deepening the kiss, slowly sliding his tongue past those perfect, pale pink lips. Ryou was still for all of about two seconds, before he responded to the kiss, parting his lips further, his tongue curling around Bakura's.

It was like fireworks were going off in Bakura's chest, the sheer ecstasy of kissing Ryou, relishing in his sweet, unique taste, after such a long time, bringing him to new heights of joy. He'd completely forgotten how it _felt_, to kiss Ryou. To touch and hold him and taste him… _Ooohhh._ Bakura's stomach was weak, his hands, now cupping Ryou's face, shaking.

Ryou whimpered slightly, in the back of his throat, but neither of the white-haired males paid any attention to it. His hands, which rested on Bakura's hips, tensed, his heart feeling as though it might explode in joy. For well over a year, Ryou had never stopped loving Bakura. How long had he dreamed that he could touch Bakura- Hell, even be in his presence, like this? His wildest dreams were unfolding before his eyes. He'd never forgotten the almost overpowering passion of Bakura's rough kisses, and this one was certainly no different. Ryou felt like he could just melt into a muddle of pleasure.

_Need… Air…_ Bakura fought back a groan. _But… This is so damn __**good**__… _He just wanted nothing more than to continue kissing Ryou, in that deep, passionate way that he was such and expert at, feel that slim, young body beneath his, have those slim white hands resting on his hips…

Bakura's heart was heavy with regret as he pulled away from Ryou's soft lips, slowly opening his eyes. He looked down into Ryou's closed eyelids, swallowing. His head seemed foggy, cloudy… He groaned as Ryou's eyes fluttered open, his chest heaving for air, and lower lip trembling. Something in Bakura's head snapped as he stared down at Ryou's eyes, brimming with so much hope and joy. Bakura's stomach went cold, and his heart filled with terror.

_Oh God… What have I done?

* * *

_

There we go... Feel the love xD

R&R!


	36. Chapter 36

... Believe me, I feel shit about this lateness -,.-

Really Really...

Anyways, onwards with the chapter! D

Disclaimer: I own nothing

* * *

"Oh God." Bakura jumped off of Ryou in a heartbeat, eyes wide. Tangled up in the blanket, Bakura fell off of the couch, and onto the rug with a _thump._ "_Shit!"_

"K-Kura…" Ryou's lower lip trembled as he slowly sat up, his heart sinking and stomach growing cold. "Wh-What's wrong?"

"What's _wrong?"_ Bakura screeched, panicking. He straightened himself up, his hands shaking. "You… I… We just…"

"… Yeah." Ryou dared to let a hopeful, dreamy look flitter across his face. "It was great-"

"_No!"_ Bakura exploded, shaking his head violently. "It was _not!"_ He sank his head into his hands. "Oh shit, this is awful…"

"No…" Ryou's breathing was somewhat ragged, pulling the blanket up around himself as his shoulders shook. "I-I knew you would forgive me-"

"_NO!_" Bakura screamed as he stood up, leering over Ryou. "I have _not_ forgiven you for anything!" Ryou gasped, pulling the blanket up over his mouth as he curled into a little ball, flinching away from Bakura. "What the hell is going through your head, you idiot! I kissed, you, so what? It doesn't mean a single fucking thing!" Ryou whimpered softly, staring up at Bakura, frozen, feeling sick with disappointment and heartbreak.

"B-But…" Ryou was near tears. "Y-You kissed me-"

"It meant nothing!" Bakura retorted, his heart thudding in his chest. "God_damn _Ryou, get it through your thick head! I don't love you!" Ryou burst into tears, shaking his head violently. "Yes!" Bakura snarled, fighting back the urge to actually punch Ryou. "Stop fucking _crying!" _He added, starting to lose control, sinking deep into emotional turmoil. Ryou hiccupped, and sniffed.

"Wh-Why would you do that…" Ryou whispered. "Why would you do that to me if you didn't love me…" Something in Bakura's stomach tightened as Ryou looked up at him, large brown eyes shining with tears. "_Why…_"

"Don't!" Bakura crossed his arms, his insides burning with guilt. "I didn't… I… Look, just forget it ever happened." He groaned, momentarily closing his eyes. "Just forget I ever fucking did anything."

"… No." Ryou mumbled tearfully, his mind whirling. The truth was, he didn't think he would ever be able to erase the kiss from his mind, stop it from playing in a continuous loop.

"Ryou." Bakura's teeth were gritted, hands curled into fists. He slowly sat down on the edge of the couch. "Don't talk about it, don't think about it. Just forget it ever happened or you'll make yourself even more miserable." Ryou screwed his eyes shut tight, shaking his head, feeling as though his heart was breaking. For the second time that day, Bakura had raised his hopes to phenomenal heights, only to send them crashing down merely moments later.

"B-But…" Ryou wiped at his eyes with the corner of the blanket. "Kura… Why did you kiss me?" He looked up at his beloved yami, shivering. "I-I just… W-Wanna know why." Bakura stared down at the rug for several moments.

"I don't know…" Bakura muttered, his voice trembling. Ryou stared at what he could see of Bakura's face, his stomach churning. "I don't fucking _know_!"

"D-Did you want to hurt me?" Ryou's voice was small, sounding lost. Bakura whipped his head around, staring at Ryou.

"No!" Bakura snapped, gritting his teeth. "I'm not that fucking sick, Ryou!"

"You've done it before." Ryou sniffed, his eyes red. "Remember? When you said you loved me-"

"Stop dragging this shit up." Bakura snarled. "It's not doing anyone any favours." Ryou opened his mouth to say something, but thought the better of it, and closed it, shrinking away. "Good."

"... Sorry." Ryou mumbled weakly, pulling the blankets even higher around himself. "I-I wont..."

"Good." Bakura repeated, his hands trembling, and lips still tingling. "... Still cold?" He looked over to Ryou, his heart fluttering a little.

"... Yeah." Ryou nodded, curled into a ball, his lower lip quivering. Bakura sighed.

"Lie down, then." He muttered, trying and failing to put a tone of disdain in his voice. Ryou swallowed, his nerves on edge and heart thudding. Slowly, he laid back down on the couch, Bakura following suit. Ryou shakily covered the both of them up with the blanket sniffing. They lay back to back, both to conserve heat, and also, because Bakura was too wary- He didn't trust himself enough to lie so close to Ryou the way he was. Ryou closed his eyes, his breathing slowly deepening. Bakura's eyes were screwed up tight, hands in fists. The tension between the pair was clearly obvious- Bakura was not only fighting back a very strong sensation to just jump on Ryou, but having a hard time trying to wipe the erotic memory of their deep kiss from his mind- God, even for the last couple of weeks they were together, they hadn't kissed like that, what with their somewhat cooler relations following the awful drunken threesome. That kiss was just amazing, running his hands through Ryou's hair, his face, slowly drifting down his body, that slim, lithe form pressed against him, totally naked, Ryou's hands on his skin, their tongues entwined...

_Shit._ Bakura's eyes widened, and he froze, torn out of his daydream as an uncomfortable feeling grew in the pit of his stomach. He slowly lowered his head, and slowly lifted the blanket, hoping, _praying_ that his worst suspicions weren't-

_Of __**all**__ the possible situations, it's had to be __**now?**_Bakura mentally screamed. He exhaled deeply, closing his eyes. _Of course it would be. I mean, He's naked, wants me, and right there... How could anyone not get aroused by that?_

_Oh, I want him __**so**__ bad._ Bakura gritted his teeth reluctantly, one hand grasping the blanket tightly, the other fisted underneath his pillow. _I just... Want to fuck him... _

"U-Ummm... Bakura?" Ryou was the first to break the silence, after a succession of seemingly endless minutes, where they refused to acknowledge each others' existence. "A-Are you awake?" Bakura's stomach fluttered a little at Ryou's voice.

"'Course." Bakura muttered, making sure to keep a scowl in his voice. "What do you want." He closed his eyes, lightly biting the tip of his tongue, his arousal aching.

"I-I was wondering..." Ryou swallowed, and licked his lips nervously._ Oooooh... He can't be too annoyed, I just want to know..._ "A-Are you thinking about the kiss?" There was a short moment of extremely profound silence.

"No." Bakura muttered, completely lying. Ryou bit his lip, and frowned lightly, still cold, save for his back, which was pressed up against Bakura's.

"Liar." Ryou accused in his gentle voice, his fingers twisted in the hem of the thick blanket. Bakura tensed, and growled in the depths of his throat, his nose wrinkling.

"What the fuck do you want me to say?" Bakura tried his hardest to force his boiling temper down. "Yes, Ryou, it's running in my mind like a continuous loop. It's all I can think about. I've never had a kiss like that with anyone else and I just wish I could experience it all again."

"You don't have to be sarcastic..." Ryou frowned, somewhat hurt. "I-I was just asking..." Bakura closed his eyes, swearing under his breath.

"I wasn't." He muttered as quietly as he could, hating himself for doing it. But he had to say it- He would have exploded inside if he didn't.

"Wh-What?" Ryou turned over onto his back, his cheeks flushing. "What did you say..."

"Nothing." Bakura snapped, rolling over onto his stomach, burying his face in the couch cushions. "Stop looking at me." Ryou's eyes were wide, his heart daring to leap, just a little.

"N-No..." Ryou kept a grin out of his voice, but not off of his face. "Y-You said... You said you weren't being sarcastic. You meant it... Bakura, you _meant_ it-"

"Just shut up!" Bakura shouted, his cheeks actually slowly going red. He was... embarrassed. "Look, it was just a stupid mistake, okay?" He scowled, his face pressed into the pillow. Their sides touched, and it only heightened Bakura's senses. _Oh fuck..._

"... I don't think it was." Ryou knew he was pushing the boundaries, getting into dangerous territory, but he just couldn't help himself. "I think you meant it-"

"Stop." Bakura gritted his teeth, imagining what Ryou must look like beside him- He couldn't help it. He was just so incredibly horny...

"'Kura..." Ryou mumbled, rolling over onto his side, facing Bakura. "Please... Can't you-"

"No." Bakura snarled, his breath hitching as Ryou rested a hand on his side. "_Ryou!"_

"Sorry!" The teenager squeaked, drawing his hand away. "Sorry... I just..." Ryou slumped back into the seat of the couch, dejected.

"Tried to make a move?" Bakura couldn't look at Ryou. _For fucks sake, he wants you so bad..._

"W-Well..." Ryou stammered, clearly flustered. "I-I..." Ryou sighed, pulling the blankets up around himself, embarrassed and disappointed. "I'm sorry..."

"... Don't be." Bakura finally muttered gruffly. _What if I said it meant nothing and changed nothing?_ He closed his eyes. _No. That wouldn't work. I can have sex without emotional commitment, but Ryou couldn't ever... _

_Oh God, I'm really thinking about it..._

"You know I love you." Ryou pleaded, swallowing. Bakura's heart wrenched in his chest. "A-And-"

"Ryou, why are you doing this." Bakura tried to keep all emotion out of his voice, and for the most part, succeeded. Ryou sniffed. "Do... Do you honestly think that this is going to get us back together?" He rolled over, simply unable to help himself, making sure to keep a fold of the blanket between their bodies. "I know it's what you want-"

"Of course it is." Ryou cut in, staring Bakura full in the face. "Bakura, look..." He rested a hand on Bakura's bare chest, his half of the blanket scrunched at his waist in an attempt to conceal his arousal. "I've never seen you so skinny-"

"Don't." Bakura growled, grabbing Ryou' wrist, and yanking hard. Unwittingly, however, he pulled Ryou's feather-light body towards him, the teenager crying out softly as he fell on top of Bakura, the both of them completely tangled up in the blanket. Bakura kept his firm grip on Ryou's wrist, staring into his wide brown eyes, that hovered a mere few inches above his own. Ryou's heart thudded in his chest so hard Bakura could feet the pulse in Ryou's wrist, below his thumb, beating against his palm. _His hearts racing... Fuck so is mine. Can he feel it? He must..._ Ryou shifted against Bakura, trying to move, and failing, the blankets wrapped strangely around the pair too tightly.

"Just tell me." Tears swam in Ryou's eyes. "Remembering that I know you so well that I can tell in a heartbeat whether or not you're lying... Just tell whether or not you're still in love with me." Ryou's voice broke, and he bowed his head slightly, trying so hard not to cry. Bakura gritted his teeth, and he screwed his eyes shut tight. _Fuck. Fuck fuck __**fuck!**__ He's right. I can't lie to him, he knows all my tells._ "Please-"

"All right!" Bakura panicked, his heart pounding, and cold sweat breaking out along his brow. "Fuck Ryou! What do you want me to say?" Ryou shied back a little, blinking. Bakura sighed, struggling to calm himself for Ryou's sake. "But it doesn't matter, because what you've done..." Ryou slowly shook his head, tears trickling down his cheeks. "Ryou, it's just unforgivable. I could never look you in the eye again, without thinking about how you..." He spat the last word, like it was sour on his tongue. "Cheated."

"And I said sorry." Ryou pleaded, trying desperately to regain something, anything resembling what he used to have with is beloved Bakura. The knowledge that Bakura still loved him made his heart soar, but learning that he was still so angry after what happened with Malik brought him back down into the dumps. "W-We love each other, 'Kura. A-And we need each other so badly, we're falling apart..." Bakura's hand slackened on Ryou's wrist. "_Please."_

"I told you." Bakura's heart felt like it was breaking in his chest. "I can't. I can't look at you right now Ryou. Even touching you... All it makes me think about..." He sighed. "Some things don't just go away."

"You're right." Ryou sniffed. "Some things don't just go away. The way I feel, the way we both feel hasn't gone away, and it's been almost a year... D-Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Ryou, stop." Bakura sighed. "I've made my mind up about this. There is no us. There is no future. We can't ever be a couple again. There's just... It would be too awkward. It wouldn't feel the same."

"No..." Ryou hiccupped. "We could make it work Bakura, I-I know we could. I don't understand... We're in love and fit together perfectly and-"

"Stop." Bakura muttered, pushing Ryou away, and sitting up, his chest tight and heart ready to explode, it seemed. He pulled all of the blankets away from Ryou, keeping them around his waist to conceal his arousal, which was thankfully beginning to fade, due to the swift change in emotions. He couldn't face Ryou, couldn't look at him. _We never talked about us since the coma._ Bakura realised, his hands shaking. _I mean, I yelled at him and shit, but that was it. We never really discussed anything... God, he's been hanging out for closure for months... Shit Ryou._

"Bakura-"

"- Just fucking stop it!" Bakura's voice broke, and as a final insult to his pride, his eyes welled up with tears. There was so doubt about it now- He loved Ryou, and forcing himself to dump Ryou forever, moments after lying beside him, kissing him, and enjoying those few perfect moments of peace and calm and comfortable togetherness was just breaking his heart. He didn't want to do it. A huge chunk of him was just screaming to take Ryou into his arms, smother him with kisses, forgive him for everything and melt back into that perfect relationship they had a year ago. But it couldn't. Nothing could ever be right again.

"Bakura..." Ryou breathed, wiping at his own eyes. "Please..."

"Ryou, stop!" Bakura whipped his head around, glaring at the boy with red-rimmed eyes. "Listen to yourself! It can't happen. Not after what you did. Not after all these months of festering hate and anger and..." He raked his fingers through tangled hair, his head bowed. "It..." Ryou held his face in his hands, sobbing. "It just can't." He inhaled deeply, a long, shuddering breath.

"B-But..." Ryou's voice was muffled through his fingers. "We can work through it... Please, you've done worse to you and I forgave you..."

"Barely." Bakura's voice was hoarse. "And that's you. We're different. You're pure and I'm... Tainted. I-I can't forgive like you. As much as I want to I _can't." _Ryou shook his head weakly, sobbing. "Ryou..." The yami's mouth was dry. "I'm sorry..."

"No!" Ryou gasped, his world falling away. "Bakura... Can't we even be _friends?_" Bakura slowly shook his head, wiping at his eyes. "Please..."

At that moment, just as Bakura was about to open his mouth, and retaliate, the phone rang. Ryou jumped, and Bakura swore under his breath, clenching his hands into fists. Both let the phone go for about three rings, before Bakura slowly stood up, making sure he didn't face Ryou, as he pulled on his jeans, trying to force down what was left of his arousal. He somewhat staggered across the room to the phone, wiping quickly at his wet cheeks, trying to make sure his breathing was smooth and regular.

"What." He growled down the phone, his heart still tearing into tiny pieces in his chest. Bakura couldn't look at Ryou as he answered the phone, gripping the receiver do hard his knuckles turned white.

"Where's Bakura." The yami's eyes widened at hearing that familiar deep voice resonate down the phone line. "What have you done?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Bakura responded in a tired, weary voice, sounding vaguely as though he had a cold. "He's here."

"Why?" Yami pressed. "Why has it taken so long? Have you even checked the time?"

"No, I haven't checked the _fucking_ time." Bakura muttered, rolling his eyes. "I don't give a crap about it. What the hell do you want?"

"Because he's been with you for two hours." Yami snarled. "What the hell do you think you're pulling? If you've hurt him, I'll..." Yami paused, and frowned down the phone. "What the... Are you _crying?_"

"No!" Bakura shot back, wiping furiously at his eyes. "Please. Like I would _cry. _What the fuck goes through your head?"

"You're voice is all stuffy." Yami reasoned, becoming seriously scared. "Look. Just put Bakura on the phone now."

"What the... Oh _fine." _Bakura spat as he turned around, walking to Ryou. "Talk to him, and you'll see he's fine. And for your information, I have a cold." He thrust the phone to Ryou, without looking at him, who took it with trembling hands.

"H-Hello?" He inquired down the phone, his voice shaking, and thick with tears.

"Bakura, what's wrong?" Yami pounced, anger in his voice. "What has he done to you?"

"What?" Ryou blinked, pulling the blankets up to his shoulders. He eyed Bakura, who left the room without a word. "Nothing... W-We were just talking... About a lot of stuff... I-I'm just a bit upset about it." Ryou sniffed, and rubbed at his eyes. "It's not his fault."

"Look, we're coming to pick you up." Yami muttered, nodding to the other four in the room with him. "We should be there in about half an hour, okay? Maybe a bit more." Ryou blinked, and shook his head.

"N-No..." Ryou's voice shook. "I-I don't wanna leave..."

"Bakura." Yami made his voice as warm as he possible could, despite his obvious anger. "Look. I think it's just best if you come back with us right now, okay? You don't know how stable he is-"

"No!" Ryou raised his voice, fighting back sobs. "I-I do! I do and I know he's messed up right now and so am I but I'm _not _leaving!"

"Bakura-"

"No!" Ryou tried to stable his ragged breaths. "You don't understand, okay? I know you don't like him and I know that you think he's nothing but cold and twisted and evil, and you know what? You're right. He is cold. He is evil, and he is twisted, but underneath all that he is still a human! He still has a heart and he is capable of kindness and love and compassion, I know he is! A-And if you think I'm in any danger here..." Ryou's chin trembled, and he felt drained. "Well, then I guess you're more ignorant than I thought."

"Bakura-"

"Bye, Yami." Ryou lifted the phone from his ear, blinking away tears. His vision was blurred, to the point where he pressed, not the off button that he meant to, but the speaker button, amplifying all the noise in the room down the phoneline. He threw the phone away, onto the floor, and buried his face in his hands, sobbing. Bakura, who had been leaning against the doorway, watching Ryou cry, sighed, and slowly walked towards the sobbing teen.

"Hey." Ryou lifted his head at the voice, and forced a smile on his face as Bakura slowly sat on the couch next to him. "Don't cry over this."

"Y-You are." Ryou, knowing he was in dangerous waters, leaned his head slowly on Bakura's shoulder. Bakura sighed deeply, and shrugged, his stomach fluttering with Ryou's touch. "Yami says I have to go home tonight." The whitenette continued, staring at the floor.

"That's probably the best." Bakura slowly looped an arm around Ryou's shoulders, who leaned into the touch. "Come on. You're pretty much all warm now, There's nothing more I can do."

"That's not true." Ryou shook his head, eyes leaking tears. "You... Bakura, being here..." Ryou sighed, rubbed at his nose. "I don't know..."

"Fuck Ryou." Bakura groaned, his temple touching Ryou's. He trailed his fingertips slowly up and down Ryou's bare arm, his stomach fluttering. The whitenette sighed, his folded hands in his lap slowly unwinding, daring to rest on Bakura's clothed leg, becoming increasingly aware that he was naked. Ryou had always been shy, even around Bakura at times, and being naked at a time when they were talking about their future as a couple only added to Ryou's sense of unease. "Look... I'll give you some clothes to put on, 'kay?" What both of them didn't know that five other people were huddled around the phone across town, exchanging varying looks.

"C-Can..." Bakura looked at Ryou, frowning. "Can I just... Just have one kiss?" He looked over at Bakura with so much hope in his eyes, his heart thudding. "Just... Just to remember... I-I-" Ryou was cut off without warning, as Bakura dipped his head slightly, to close the gaps between their lips. The moment Ryou suggested a simple, basic kiss, Bakura simply acted upon his immediate impulse. And it felt _great._

Ryou sat absolutely still, save for his trembling hands, one of which snaked up Bakura's thigh, and his pounding heart, which thudded like a drum in his ears. Bakura's hands slowly started to wrap around Ryou's shoulders, bony hands tangling in his hair. Bakura pressed his lips against Ryou's a little firmer, tilting his head to one side. Ryou gasped, twisting and turning, climbing into Bakura's lap, until he was straddling him, his arms looped loosely around Bakura's neck. _This was Ryou's plan. To fucking seduce me like this. Fuck it, it's working._ And Bakura couldn't stop. He didn't even try. He just knew that what he was doing was so fucking _magical._ He felt like fireworks were exploding in his chest, and that at the same time, his heart was sinking, his stomach churning. He knew this wasn't right. He knew that this was just going to cause more pain for the both of them later. But _God_, to have Ryou pressed naked against him, that hot little mouth on his, running his hands through Ryou's hair and trailing his fingers down his back...

_Damn._ It was the first thing that ran through his head after the pair of them broke apart to take deep, heaving gasps of air. _That was just... Fuck._ Ryou looked at him through half-lidded eyes, which were almost hidden behind a curtain of still-damp white hair. Their noses were less than an inch apart, Ryou's arms around his neck shaking. Bakura's hands were, at this time, on Ryou's thighs, which he lightly squeezed. The tension between the pair was so thick, and all Ryou could really concentrate on was the pair of stunning red eyes that was set before him, with so much confusion and fear and anger...

"... _Fuck _it." Bakura growled, before crushing his lips with Ryou again, his heart hammering with joy as he was able to run his hands over his little light once more. There was just something in the way Ryou whimpered softly into his mouth as their tongues curled around each other, how Ryou's nails raked his shoulder blades softly, how he traced shapeless patterns along his skin... Bakura was aroused again already.

_I have to have him. _Bakura inwardly groaned, Ryou moaning weakly, his thin form quivering. Bakura dipped his head to the side, Ryou following obediently, his shoulders turning. The yami took the opportunity to grab Ryou by his bony shoulders, and push him into the seat of the couch, Ryou gasping aloud as their lips were forced apart.

"Wh-what-" Ryou was cut off by another heated kiss to his mouth, his fingers slowly trailing further down Bakura's back. Their legs tangled together, bare skin against worn, faded denim, and Bakura roughly ground their hips together, thoroughly enjoying the ragged gasp as they broke apart for air again.

"You want this." Bakura looked down on Ryou, whose round, innocent face was framed by his hair, which was wound around Bakura's bony fingers. "Don't you fucking dare say you don't." Ryou stared up at Bakura, his cheeks flushed. He grabbed Bakura's arms, just above the elbow, and pulled the yami down again, fusing their lips together. Bakura returned the kiss with fervour, just unable to get enough of Ryou's hot, sweet little mouth. But more, he wanted to run his tongue along Ryou's soft, creamy skin...

"I-I wasn't-!" Ryou arched his neck in shock as Bakura planted his lips on his throat. "O-Ohh..." He moaned in a harsh, ragged breath, eyes half-open. "K-Kura..." He lay on the couch, a trembling mess as Bakura ravaged the skin around his neck with his teeth and tongue. Never, in his wildest dreams, would he ever think this would happen to him. _It's amazing... Better than I could ever hope for_... His mind whirling, it took him half a minute to even register that he was just lying their like a bit of dead wood while Bakura was doing all the work, his tongue slowly dancing southwards. His hands shaking so hard he couldn't steady them, Ryou started to fumble with the button on Bakura's jeans, slipping. Finally, however, he was able to pull the waistband of Bakura's jeans open, his teeth gritted and eyes shut as he yanked at the zipper. Bakura firmly nipped at a sensitive spot on Ryou's neck, just above the collarbone, and the teenager cried out, his hands curling on Bakura's jeans.

"Hang up the phone!" Across town, Yugi glared at his darker half. Jounouchi was staring at the phone wide-eyed, Anzu had her hands over her ears, and Honda stared at the floor, his face bright red. Yami, who was clutching the phone, frowned deeply, his hand clamped over the mouthpiece to muffle the sound from their end. "Yami, don't be a bloody perve, that's not right!"

"_This_ isn't what's right!" Yami brandished the phone, almost removing his hand from it, which would have given away the fact that the phone was still connected in the first place. "What the hell is that evil spirit trying to pull! This is just another ploy to make Bakura even more miserable-"

"No." Yugi's voice was soft, his expression serious. "Yami... Don't you think it's because he likes Bakura?"

"No." Yami shot back. "He can't like anybody." Jououchi frowned.

"... Why not?" He dared to ask. Yami shot him a glare.

"Because he's evil!" Yami was incredulous. "Why else do you think?"

"Well..." Yugi couldn't believe that he was sticking up for someone that had tried to kill him, several times, but being not only the youngest, but the quietest, most sensitive and most thoughtful in the group- save Ryou, and also in a similar situation as his white-haired friend, he felt he had to. "I think you forget..." Yugi straightened up in his chair, unable to stare his darker half in the eye. "I know it's been a long time, but the spirit did used to be a person once. And I bet he felt a lot more than just anger and hate. Yami, I think you forget that there is someone there with human thoughts and emotions. If it were strong enough, I think that he would be perfectly capable of loving someone else and caring about them. But I think that he's confused and scared right now, because he's gone three thousand years with having no one to care about him, or no one to care for, and what he had with Bakura was always so fragile, and when he was angry with Bakura, he didn't know how to deal with it and took the easiest out, but he does regret it, deep down and probably still wants to... be... with... him..." Yugi trailed off, his face flaming as four pairs of eyes stared at him. "Uh, just a theory." He shrugged his shoulders weakly.

"Look." Yami's eyes widened as Jounouchi snatched the phone out of his hands, placing his own over the mouthpiece. "Either way, I think we've all had enough." Jounouchi switched off the phone, and set it down on the coffee table. "And uh, I think maybe we should give going over to see Ryou tonight a miss. Maybe waiting until tomorrow might be a good idea."

"No way!" Yami exploded, shaking his head violently. "We're gonna go and see them tonight! In fact, we're going right now. There is no way that I'm just gonna sit back and watch Bakura get destroyed again. That is so unfair on him!"

"Look, just leave them to have some privacy." Jou argued, frowning. "I don't know about you, but I _really_ don't want to walk in on them going at it..." He shook his head violently, as just the thought of it started to fog his mind. "Don't even wanna think about it..." He made a face.

"Bakura's just going to end up being hurt again!" Yami shouted angrily. "Look Yugi, you're wrong, okay? The spirit isn't human anymore. He's not anything remotely close to human! All he is is just all this hate and anger and darkness. He doesn't love Bakura! He can't! How can he show all this malice towards us, and do what he's done, especially to Bakura, and then turn around and say he loves him? He's lying! He's done it before and he's doing it again and I'm not letting it happen!"

"Yami, stop it!" Jounouchi stood up, angry. "Look, this isn't helping at all!" The Egyptian looked up at Jou, wide-eyed. "Think about what you're doing! Can't you just leave them alone? The spirit isn't evil. He doesn't want to hurt Ryou. All he wants to do it... Well..." The blonde trailed off, biting his lip. "Yeah."

"He's going to hurt Bakura." Jounouchi sighed, rubbing at his eyes at Yami's reply. "What? He is! He said that he wasn't ever gonna be with him again-"

"Yeah, but he was crying." Jounouchi was frowning deeply. "You heard him Yami. He was actually crying. I've never bloody heard anything like that before."

"I don't care." Yami stood up, and turned away. "Look, I'm going. Come or not, but I'm not letting the spirit hurt Bakura again. Do you have any idea how hard it is to just stand by and watch Bakura getting hurt like this? He has always said that he didn't want me to hurt the spirit, but that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty when I see him in pain. I'm sick of it and I don't care what he says because I'm not letting it happen again!"

"Yami-" Yugi tried, but he was too late. The oldest of the group left the room, slamming the door behind him. Yugi and Jounouchi shot a glance between them, before standing up. Yugi ran out of the room to follow his darker half, while Jou turned to Anzu and Honda, both of whom were sitting down silently, shrugging hopelessly.

"Well, come on." He felt like total crap. "Let's go then."

* * *

Lemon next chapter. I swear by all gods in existence. I actually meant it to be this chapter, but it got away on me and I tried editing it and it didn't work and I just felt like I was cuttoing out important bits to I tried rewriting it and it didn't work and I felt uber shitty and GAH.

R&R?


	37. Chapter 37

Well, herro all!

I uh, didn't realise that it had been a month since I updated... I really really didn't... SO Sorry.

But okay. Seriously. After this chapter, there's one more left. and I know I've been saying that for like, the past ten chapters or something stupid like that, but this time I really mean it. Oh, and the epilogue. xD

Well... Fingers crossed for it, anyways.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Cry.

* * *

"B-B-Bakura..."

"Don't." Bakura lifted his head slightly, to stare down at Ryou with hardened red eyes. Ryou's chocolaty orbs looked up at him, clouded and foggy with lust, half-lidded. Although Bakura felt as though he were a million miles away from, he never felt more aware, of his heated skin against Ryou's, the way Ryou was slowly tugging at his jeans, pulling them down his thighs, how good his soft cries and gasps and whimpers sounded, the taste of his smooth, perfect skin...

"N-No..." Ryou's hands stilled on Bakura's jeans for a moment, and he shied away from Bakura, breaking contact with his lips. Bakura only glared down at Ryou, his heart thudding.

"What the fuck." He demanded angrily, eyes narrowed. Ryou sniffed, and bowed his head slightly, shaking.

"Wh-What..." The whitenette sighed deeply, and tried to quell his violent tremors. "Bakura..." He breathed, finally able to speak without stuttering. "What are we _doing?"_ Bakura only smirked, and dipped his head a little, to speak with his lips brushing against with Ryou's.

"I know you're innocent Ryou." He muttered, his hands resting on Ryou's bony hips. "But come on, I know you're not _that _naive."

"No..." Ryou squirmed a little under Bakura, confused, scared, and also full of lust and passion. How good it felt to experience Bakura's hypnotic touch again... "I mean..." He swallowed, tensing his thumbs around the belt loops in Bakura's jeans. "Why..." Ryou inhaled deeply. "I thought you hated me..."

"What?" Bakura got up a little off Ryou, his hands on the pillow beside his fluffy white head. "Fuck Ryou, I don't hate you. Don't start that shit again. I..." Bakura sighed, unable to believe that he was going to really, finally say it, for the first time in almost a year. "Ryou, I love you, okay?" Soft brown eyes widened a little, and Ryou momentarily closed his eyes, tears squeezing behind closed lids. _Damnit, no! I can't start crying again..._

"We love each other so much." Ryou's hands were now around Bakura's wrists, and he stared straight up at the yami. "But we-"

_Don't let him start._ A knot grew in Bakura's stomach. _God, he's such a fucking mood killer._ Bakura's eyes were on Ryou's lips as he spoke, studying the way they moved as he talked. There was no way around it. He wanted him. Bakura felt as though he were going to explode if he didn't get his release soon. Did Ryou have any idea of how much of a bloody tease he was?

"Mph!" Ryou's eyes widened as Bakura roughly slammed his lips against Ryou's, yanking his wrists away from Ryou's weak grasp, and slowly lowered his body back down against Ryou's. He lay on top of Ryou perfectly, their chests, hips, thighs, legs, all touching, sending Ryou's skin into a frenzy. He was only vaguely aware of Bakura's skin on his, his lips and hands... He felt as though he were in a wild whirl, his head spinning and heart pounding and hands shaking.

Bakura's hands slid up Ryou's arms, over his shoulders and collarbone, and slowly down his sides, resting his hands on the whitenette's hips. Their tongues curled around each other, the raw passion intensifying as Ryou responded to the kiss again, his arms wrapped around Bakura, nails digging into his back. At this point, Bakura was aching, inwardly screaming for release- He was half amazed that he hadn't exploded already. He drew his head back a little, staring into Ryou's wide, beautiful eyes, before bringing his lips down to Ryou's neck. The whitenette cried out, his eyes wide as Bakura's hands, skinny, and bony, began to slide between his legs, brushing his inner thighs. Ryou's cheeks were flushed, his bangs already damp with sweat as Bakura's hands grew dangerously close to his awakening arousal. Bakura was filled with such self-satisfaction as he continued his passionate assault on Ryou, who filled the air with his soft, keening whimpers.

"Mmm... K-Kura..." Ryou finally managed to choke out, inwardly flinching at the way he could feel Bakura's ribs under his hands._ That's definitely not right... Poor Bakura, I can tell you've been hurting too, so much more than you'll ever be able to say_...

"What." Bakura growled, raising his head to look at Ryou. Their legs were entwined, both fused to one another from the waist down as Bakura rested himself on his elbows. "You better not be chickening out."

"N-No." Ryou shook his head. "B-But we... Well, we kinda need... Well..." His face flushed deeper, with embarrassment, as opposed to heat and lust.

"... Oh." Bakura clicked, managing to stay calm himself, for just a second. Ryou was right. If they tried to go ahead without some kind of lubricant... Ryou would be in immense pain, and Bakura would probably make himself raw. "Shit. I don't know if I have any... Do I have to move?"

"Kura..." Ryou was having trouble speaking, every movement of his hips or thighs sending shocks of pleasure up his spine. _Oh..._ "Please..."

"All_right._" With a heavy sigh, full of regret, Bakura slowly sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the couch and planting them firmly on the floor. "God_damn_ it." Ryou slowly sank back down onto the couch as Bakura stormed out of the room, a hand on his chest, trying to quell his erratic heartbeat. _Oh God._ They were on the verge of sleeping together. And Bakura really, really wanted it. Ryou could tell from the way he kissed and held Ryou, to the look in his eyes and the way he spoke, even in his breathing, that it was consuming him. And all Ryou himself could even think about was the way Bakura's hands trailed across his skin, how good his kisses tasted...

"Here." Before Ryou had a chance to recollect himself, Bakura had thrown a bottle of lubricant across the room, where it hit Ryou in the chest. Ryou gasped, and a moment later, Bakura, who was running back to the couch, simply jumped the last couple of steps, crashing into Ryou, who cried out, winded. "Where were we?" Ryou stared at Bakura, wide-eyed as he prised the bottle out of his hands. "Probably expired..." He muttered, pushing Ryou into the couch properly, and lying down on top of him. "Still does the job." He smirked, and dipped his head without a moment to spare, firmly kissing Ryou's pale, sweet lips. The teenager opened his mouth without any resistance, and gently lapped his tongue against Bakura's, returning the kiss with fervour.

Ryou's heart skipped a beat in his chest, and he started to tremble, as Bakura leaned down, his lips still clamped firmly on Ryou's, and pushed at Ryou's knees, guiding him, expressing a silent demand for him to fold his legs. Ryou obeyed, raising his feet up along the black leather of the couch, until Bakura was able to grasp onto Ryou's bony ankles, and rest them up on his shoulders, Ryou wincing as the muscles in his thighs were stretched uncomfortably. This was it. This was really happening. Ryou's stomach fluttered as Bakura easily flipped the top of the small bottle with a sharp fingernail, pouring a small puddle of lubricant onto the palm of his hand. Scented and flavoured, the smell of artificial strawberries hung in the air around them, Ryou's personal choice. He sighed, Bakura's teeth toying with his lower lip, and relaxed his legs, trying to relieve some of the pressure on his thighs. Bakura ran the tips of two fingers through the liquid, and wrapped his palm around the rest, trying to grease them up as much as he possibly could. Ryou squeaked as the tip of Bakura's finger rested against the entrance to his passage, his shaking arms firmly around the yami's neck, fingers tangled in his hair. Ryou started to take a deep breath in, Bakura's tongue trailing across his throat, but before he could recollect or prepare himself, Bakura pushed his finger inside Ryou as hard and fast as he could, completely forgetting about how long it had been since Ryou had slept with anyone.

"_Ow!"_ Ryou arched his neck against Bakura's teeth as he cried out, yanking firmly on Bakura's hair in an attempt to counteract the pain. Bakura growled, his scalp aching, and lifted his head, to look down in Ryou's face.

"What?" Bakura's angry look softened, however, when he stared into Ryou's big beautiful brown eyes. "What." He repeated, softer this time, his free hand, a palm still sticky from strawberry-flavoured lubricant, rested on Ryou's cheek, as his forehead creased on worry.

"Just..." Ryou squirmed uncomfortably, trying to relax his muscles against Bakura's penetration. "N-Not so fast..." He breathed, his chest heaving. "P-Please..."

"What- Oh shit." Bakura froze, sighing. He withdrew his finger a little from Ryou, his chest sinking a little in guilt. "Didn't think.."

"I-It's okay." Ryou closed his eyes, relaxing. He slowly unwound his fingers from Bakura, who kept his head raised, biting his lip. Bakura started to slide his finger back into Ryou, slower this time, making sure he didn't go as deep. After what seemed forever to Ryou, He felt a second digit trying to join the first, and relaxed himself as much as he could. Bakura continued, frustratingly slow, to the point where Ryou thought Bakura might actually be taking the mickey. "Bakura..." He slowly opened his eyes, blinking at the look of concern on Bakura's face he never thought he would see. "You're not gonna kill me..." Bakura's hand was still on his face. He lightly curled a lock of spiky white hair around a slender white finger.

"Hey, I just don't wanna hurt." Bakura muttered, unable to look Ryou in the eye as he continued to press his lubricated digit inside of Ryou. Ryou was absolutely silent for a few moments, before Bakura heard what he swore was a choked sob. "What the..."

"Kura..." Ryou blinked rapidly, feeling as though his heart might burst. "Y-You were being just like this the night of our first real time... Do you remember?" Bakura stared down at Ryou, still. Ryou sniffed, and pulled Bakura down for a kiss, pressing on the back of his neck with his hand.

It was the most special kiss of the night. There was no lust or passion, or even romance in that kiss. It was pure love that made Ryou press his lips against Bakura's, tilting his head to the left, just slightly. Bakura's tongue slid past his own slowly, like velvet. It was a slow, simple kiss, which could easily lead to nothing. Bakura groaned softly, both fingers buried as deep as they could be inside Ryou's tight passage. Slowly, he withdrew the digits, wiping the last of the lubricant on the blanket, which was spread out haphazardly on the seat of the couch beneath them. He reached out for the bottle of lubricant, his hands trembling, but Ryou grabbed it first, breaking the kiss to get some air.

"I can do it." He breathed into Bakura's ear, pouring a decent amount onto his palms and rubbing them together. Bakura chuckled, nibbling a little onto Ryou's earlobe as his hands cupped Ryou's rear, squeezing the soft pale skin gently. Ryou squeaked, and slowly brought his hands down, slipping them between their sweat-sheened bodies. Bakura froze, his entire frame rigid as Ryou's pretty, slim white hands made contact with his aching arousal. He smoothed the lubricant onto Bakura's throbbing shaft slowly, almost teasingly, while keeping his gaze fixed on Bakura's face. Bakura was staring straight down at him now, his hands on either side of Ryou's face, thumbs slowly stroking his cheeks. Ryou's eyes were half-lidded, and when he'd managed to rub as much of the lubricant onto Bakura as he could, he let his hands drift to his sides, where they fisted the blankets, both to wipe off the remnants of strawberry-flavoured lubricant, and to prepare for the sharp burst of pain he knew was coming.

"Ready?" Bakura mumbled, as he lowered his hands, to the back of Ryou's thighs. Ryou nodded wordlessly, his heart in his chest hammering like a drum. He could barely believe what was actually happening. Him and Bakura, after months of first no contact, and then Bakura's intense hate and anger...

Ryou cried out, digging his nails into Bakura's shoulders as he started to penetrate Ryou's tight passage. Bakura bit his lip, staring down at Ryou's tightly shut eyes as he pushed himself inside Ryou a little deeper, noticing the way Ryou winced, digging his nails deeper into his skin. His legs, which were still pinned rather painfully on Bakura's shoulders, slid off, and Ryou loosely wrapped them around Bakura's waist, whimpering in pain. But Bakura knew this was normal of Ryou, his reaction to Bakura forcing himself inside of him, and it didn't worry him anymore. _God, he's so gorgeous at times like these_. Ryou pressed his forehead into Bakura's collarbone, as the yami pressed another couple of inches of himself inside Ryou, his teeth gritted. Bakura propped himself up with one hand, and with the other, he looped around Ryou's shoulders, pulling him closer to his chest. Bakura thrust his hips upwards, pushing more of his length into Ryou, who gasped, clinging to Bakura tighter. The yami groaned, at the incredible sensation of having his rock-hard member engulfed by Ryou's sexy tight little ass, his heart thudding in his chest.

"Relax." Bakura commanded, lowering his trembling form a little, due to the pressure Ryou was putting on his spine, clinging to him so tightly. Ryou sniffed, and nodded, slowly lowering his head from Bakura's neck and onto the pillows, but not relaxing his grip around Bakura's back. "Good." Ryou arched his neck, gasping as Bakura pushed the rest of his arousal into his tight passage, the ache shooting up his spine uncomfortably. Bakura grabbed Ryou's legs, under the thigh, and lifted them up, raising Ryou's hips a little so he was in a more comfortable angle. He withdrew himself from Ryou, just a little, and slowly pushed himself back into that sweet tight heat, earning a low moan from the writhing beauty beneath him. Unable to wait, Bakura pulled back again in just a few moments, further, before forcing himself past that tight ring of muscles once more, gripping tightly onto Ryou's legs. Oh _God._ Sex with Ryou, touching him and holding him in the most intimate way possible, was better than Bakura had even remembered. There was just something about the way Ryou would gasp whenever Bakura moved inside of him, or would reach his head up for a quick, sloppy kiss, that made Bakura so sure that Ryou was just such a unique and beautiful person. All he could think about while he pushed himself in and out of Ryou, his thrusts slowly becoming harder and faster, was how good it felt, not just the physical sensations of having sex, but how could it felt to be close with Ryou again- There was no doubt in his mind that he missed it.

Ryou was also flung into the wildest ecstasy. Every time Bakura thrust back inside of him, touching, rubbing, pleasuring the tiny but extremely sensitive bundle of nerves hidden deep in his passage as he did so, it sent a gradually stronger tingle of erotic pleasure shooting up his spine, and he couldn't help but cry out. It hurt, it hurt like hell, to have his rear forced open like that after months, and Bakura, picking up his pace, was starting to become incredibly rough, the pain of his sharp thrusting almost outweighing the sexual pleasure Ryou was gaining. Almost.

"K-Kura..." Ryou stammered, gasping as he arched his neck against the pillows, his fingers entangled in Bakura's long hair, the roots damp with sweat. "O-Oh _God._" He screamed as Bakura slammed into him with a particularly hard thrust, from his tip to the base, and something in him, he was sure, broke, because that really _hurt._ Ryou curled his toes, digging his nails into Bakura's scalp and whimpering. Bakura pushed his entire shaft into Ryou like that again, earning a fresh yelp from the whitenette, who blinked back tears. He couldn't remember it hurting that badly before... _My body's just not used to it, that's all..._ He was amazed he could even think coherently as Bakura crushed their hips together with a bruising force, Bakura's nails giving Ryou painful red marks, marring his skin. Bakura didn't let up, despite knowing how much he was hurting Ryou. Instead, he pumped himself in and out of Ryou harder, and faster, as much as he could, unable to get enough of Ryou. Slowly, Bakura slid his hands up, over Ryou's thighs, his hips, up his sides, until he could grab Ryou's arms by the elbow, and push him into the couch seat as hard as he could, his sharp nails digging painfully into Ryou's skin. The teenager yelped, and whimpered in pain, which doubled in volume as Bakura thrust into him again. From the outside, it would look as though Bakura was only putting Ryou through intense pain and distress, but was clearly the exact opposite, evident from the way Ryou's fingers, slid through his hair, how he stared up at Bakura with lust-filled eyes, and most obviously, from the arousal pressed against Bakura's stomach, that was stroked every time Bakura thrust himself into Ryou, sending shudders down Ryou's spine.

With their legs entangled, torso's pressed almost flat against one another, fingers entwined with hair, and tracing sweat-dampened skin, lips meeting every thirty or so seconds for a rough, passionate kiss, Bakura and Ryou were at their closest. Ryou still screamed in pain whenever his abused passage was filled, feeling as though something was splitting him open, but the way his most sensitive spot in his body was being massaged internally, and his hard arousal being sandwiched firmly between their trembling bodies brought Ryou to new heights of ecstasy, that he hadn't experienced in months.

_Fuck._ Although Bakura, weak as though he was in his current physical state, had pushed himself to the limit, he still wanted more, so much more. He wanted to be deeper inside Ryou, wanted to go faster, harder, make Ryou scream louder and longer. He loved drawing as many moans, gasps, and screams from Ryou's pretty little mouth as he could whenever they made love. It just did wonders for his sex drive, having his innocent, pure little light turning into a vocal, writhing, wanton little sex slave, committing to his every disgustingly filthy whim...

He was getting close, the intense pressure in his lower stomach building. And judging from the look on Ryou's face, his eyes screwed up tightly shut, lips pressed together to try and keep himself quiet, he was too. Bakura smirked, and drove himself inside Ryou with a particularly hard thrust, earning a high-pitched cry from the teenager. Ryou's teeth were gritted, his nails drawing blood from Bakura's back, as something in his abdomen started tightening. He was close...

"B-Bakura..." Ryou gasped, his neck arched, and legs wrapped tightly around Bakura's waist. "I-I'm... I-I'm gonna-"

"Shhh..." Bakura dipped his head to whisper into Ryou's ear, not giving up on his relentless pounding into Ryou's tender little rear. Ryou screwed his eyes up tight, the pressure in his stomach intensifying. He felt like he was dangling over the edge of a chasm, and Bakura was about to push him in...

It was quite possibly the best sex with Ryou that Bakura had ever had. The teenager was usually firm about how rough and hard Bakura would be when they made love, and Bakura was always willing to stop whenever Ryou called out. He was naturally tight, and after months of chastity, Bakura was astounded that Ryou was letting him go this hard. Ryou whined beneath him, his nails raking down Bakura's back, leaving shallow, but painful scratches on the deathly white skin. Bakura panted behind gritted teeth, the sound of the couch squeaking beneath them increasing. Bakura could only take a few more seconds and by the sounds of it, Ryou was just on the edge...

"_Fuck._" Bakura managed to choke, before his voice died in his throat as he climaxed, his hands wrapped around Ryou's arms, almost cutting off his circulation. Every muscle in his body tensed, and he pressed his forehead into Ryou's collarbone, feeling as though he might pass out from the intense force of his orgasm. The sounds and smells and sensations of what they were doing was just too much for Ryou, and a few scant seconds later, the teenager arched his back, his bony fingers entangled in Bakura's hair as he came, feeling as though he were exploding in ecstasy. A ragged gasp tore from parted lips, Ryou's heart thudding in his chest harder than it had in weeks. He was shaking, drenched in sweat, and, even as his orgasm faded, felt so _good_. Bakura slumped into Ryou's weak, trembling form with a low moan, his legs actually feeling numb.

"W-W-Wow." Ryou finally managed to pant, relishing in the faint ache, and the shock-like tingles that still coursed lightly through his veins. Bakura chuckled, his voice muffled by Ryou's sweat-sheened skin, as he nuzzled Ryou's shoulder. All he could think about was how Ryou's heart thudded beneath his, so strong he could feel it, the soft panting and moaning that came from those perfect, kiss-swollen lips, those slim little hands tangled up in his hair, the taste of sweaty skin against his lips, the slim, underbuilt arms that were wrapped tightly around him, the feeling of his exhausted member still half-buried in that tight, gorgeous little ass.

And it all belonged to _Ryou._

Although it felt as though it weighed a ton, Bakura slowly lifted his head, so he could stare into those half-lidded brown eyes, which were hazy and unfocused. Ryou smiled, weakly, and slowly pulled his fingers from Bakura's hair. They trailed down the back of his neck, across his shoulders, down his arms, and came to rest at his elbows.

"... That was awesome." Bakura's voice was hoarse as he lowered his wild fluffy head a few inches, jagged white locks forming a nice private little tent around the both of them. Ryou nodded weakly, closing his eyes as Bakura cupped the side of Ryou's face with a quivering hand, leaning down for a soft sweet kiss to place upon Ryou's pale parted lips-

_Bang!_

"Tomb Robber, where are you?"

"Fuck!" Bakura sat up in shock, eyes wide. Ryou had barely enough time to wrap the blanket around himself before Yami stormed into the house, guns blazing. Bakura grabbed for his pants, jumping off the couch to pull them on. "Do you _mind?"_ He zipped them up, hands still shaking, making sure to grab a corner of the blanket and wipe Ryou's semen from his stomach before leaving the room, meeting Yami in the dining area.

"Where is he?" Yami snarled, his hands clenched into fists. "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing!" Bakura shot back, his calm peaceful state of mind totally jarred by Yami's rude intrusion. "Why the hell are you even here!"

"Because I-"

"We said we were coming." Yugi came up behind Yami, making him jump. "Remember? We would have been here sooner, but there was a hold-up on the expressway. I think a car crashed..."

"Well, Ryou is _fine." _Bakura spat, shooting the both of them a smouldering glare. "Now get the fuck out of my house-"

"Ex_cuse_ me?" Yami shot back, incensed. "Just who the hell do you think you're talking too?"

"What the fuck?" Bakura swore, looking as though he wanted to strangle the Egyptian spirit. "I should-"

"Bakura." The voice behind the yami wasn't loud, boisterous, or even firm, but it was enough for Bakura to stop in his tracks, and turn around. Yami watched intently as Bakura's expression changed in a heartbeat. The cold fury and hate on his face just melted away, and was replaced with a look of concern. Ryou had simply pulled on the red-and-black striped shirt that was long, managing to cover his little round bum, but still showed off his creamy legs, making Bakura's stomach soften. "Please... Don't fight..."

"Go back onto the couch." Bakura instructed softly, his hands on Ryou's shoulders, gently pushing at him. "You've been through a lot, you need rest."

"A lot of _what?"_ Yami jumped at the chance, his eyes narrowed as he surveyed Bakura. Ryou blushed very, very deeply, and couldn't look at anyone in the eye, which Yugi and Jounouchi noticed.

"... Nothing." Bakura quickly muttered as Ryou slowly wandered back into the lounge, looking dejected for some reason. "Shit Ryou..."

"Hey!" Yami shouted. "I was talking to you!" Yugi shook his head, and Jounouchi stared at the ex-pharaoh with an odd look on his face.

"He... He doesn't get what the spirit was hinting at?" Yugi shook his head, bemused. Yami rounded on Jounouch, angry.

"What?" He growled, clearly worked up by his short confrontation with Bakura.

"Yami, it's pretty obvious they've slept together." Jounouchi explained, his hands shoved in his pockets. "We probably walked in on it, that's why the spirit's so pissed off."

"He-_what?!"_ Jou jumped as Yami turned away, running into the living room. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Bakura, who was sitting on the edge of the couch, a hand resting on Ryou's side, barely had time to react before Yami grabbed his bony arm, hauling him off of the couch and pulling him into the centre of the room. "Huh?"

"What the fuck are you-"

"I _warned_ you!" Bakura swore loudly as Yami started pulling him from the room. He might have been taller, but was not only exhausted, but physically debilitated, and Yami was easily able to drag him around. "I goddamn _warned _you!"

"Look, what the fuck are you talking about?" Bakura spat as he was pulled into the hallway, where Yami hoped their conversation could go unheard. "Get your fucking hands _off_ me!"

"Where the hell do you get off." Yami's teeth were gritted, as he glared at Bakura with intense hate. "How can you _do_ this to Bakura? How the hell can you just _use_ him like this!"

"What the... No!" Bakura firmly tore his arm out of Yami's grasp, eyes narrowed. "What, so you think that I only slept with Ryou because I wanted to get off to something? What is your problem!"

"Of course it is!" Yami shot back loudly. "God, you can't-"

"I can't what? I can't fucking what! You think I can't love him. You think I am just this fucking wasteland where I can't feel anything. How can you still think that shit!" Ryou, who was sitting on the couch curled into a ball wrapped in the blanket, was staring into space, eyes welling with tears.

"Oh, Bakura..." Yugi sighed, sitting onto the couch, resting a hand on Ryou's shoulder.

"You really wanna sit there?" Jou raised an eyebrow, pushing down a smirk. Ryou's cheeks reddened in a blush, and Yugi's eyes widened as he jumped up, wincing.

"What reason have you given me to believe otherwise!" All three pairs of eyes swung back to the closed door that led into the hallway. "When have you _ever_ shown any kindness or decency towards anyone?"

"Ryou, loads of times!" Bakura shouted back, furious. "What about when I bought him this house! What about when we were together! What about when I fucking proposed to him!"

"And look at what you've done!" Yami's equally angry voice boomed. Yugi shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "Bakura tried to _kill_ himself because of you!"

"That doesn't mean I don't love him!" Bakura screamed, his voice breaking. Jou and Yugi looked over to Ryou, who had a very small smile on his face. God, his bum hurt...

"If you ever loved him, you wouldn't have done this to him!" Yami shouted in return. Bakura just stood and stared at him.

".. Fuck you." Bakura snarled, every fibre in his being hating, loathing Yami at that moment. "_Fuck you!"_ The three in the living room froze as Bakura yanked the door open, and stormed into the living room. "You know _nothing!_"

"I know Bakura is being unfairly treated!" Yami followed the white-haired spirit. "Come on! How can you say you hate him and never want to see him again and then sleep with him? What goes through your depraved mind-"

"Now you _listen _to me." Bakura growled, his voice low and threatening. "You have _no_ idea what that brat has put me through, you-"

"_What_?" Yami was incredulous. "What _Bakura_ has put_ you_ through? What has he ever done to you?" Ryou let out a long breath, lowering his head as his chest started to ache in guilt.

"How would you feel." Bakura couldn't look at Yami or Ryou, couldn't look at anyone as he spoke, his voice still low. "How would you feel if, when you manage to find that _one_ person who actually makes you give a shit about even living anymore, that one person who actually makes you _happy, _and you're with them, and everything is just better than you ever imagined. And... And then you're out of it for nine months because some idiot cracks your skull on a bit of concrete but when you wake up, you're relying on that one person who actually gives a shit about you to be there for you for some god_damn_ support!" Ryou felt sick with guilt as he stared downwards, his hands shaking. "A-And then... To find out they've slept with your best friend..." Bakura sounded as though he were in a daze, staring off into nothing. "It_ hurts_." His voice was hoarse, and wavering. "It hurts more than you can ever possibly imagine." Ryou screwed his eyes up shut tightly, his lower lip shaking as he fought back tears. Yami was standing still, very quietly, his mouth slightly open. "I love Ryou." Bakura's hands were clenched into fists. "More than anything. And I can't see myself ever feeling anything remotely like this with anyone else." Bakura's lip curled, and he glared at Ryou, who sniffed. "But I can not, nor will I _ever_ forgive you for being a cheating _slut-"_

"Hey!"

"It's true." Bakura rounded on Jounouchi, livid. "Now, have I justified myself enough for you, or do you want me to go on?"

"Bakura." Ryou slowly sat up straight, rubbing at his eyes. Bakura stilled, his shoulders slumped and eyes on the carpet. "Please... Don't get angry at them."

"Well, maybe if they weren't a bunch of bloody idiots-"

"Hey!"

"Well, you-"

"Okay!" Jounouchi stood between Bakura and Yami, his hands held up. "This isn't proving anything. Bakura and Ryou have a lot to sort out, and Ryou looks really tired. How about we leave them to it for the night, and Bakura drops Ryou off in the morning?"

"Yeah." Yugi agreed, nodding his head emphatically, glad for an out. "Come on Yami, we need to go..."

"All right." Ryou smiled weakly as he stood up, regretfully lowering the blanket. "I'll show you out." Bakura stood as still as a statue as Ryou led Jou and Yugi out of the room, aware of Yami standing beside him.

"Now you _listen_." Yami snarled as soon as he had the opportunity. "I don't know what the hells going through your head, but you better listen. Bakura is going to end up thinking that you sleeping him means you want to be with him. And I swear, thief, this is your last chance. If you _ever_ make Bakura unhappy from now on, I'm going to destroy you. I'll rip your soul from your body and cast it to the darkest depths of the Shadows to remain for eternity. And I don't care what Bakura says in your defence. I don't care how much he begs and cries and pleads for mercy on your part, because you wont get it. You will get exactly what you deserve. So unless you're suicidal, don't _ever_ hurt Bakura." Yami didn't wait for an answer. He simply turned away from Bakura, and stomped out of the house without a word, giving Ryou a curt nod on the way out.

"K-Kura?" Ryou asked, softly closing the door and walking back into the living room. "Are you okay? You don't look well..." Bakura slowly lifted his head from the spot on the floor he was staring at, and sighed deeply, still not looking Ryou in the eye.

"... Shower." Bakura finally muttered, staring at Ryou's legs. The whitenette blinked. "You need to shower."

"What-"

"You're messy." Ryou gasped as Bakura took a step towards him, so they stood inches apart. "I noticed when you walked the morons out. Fuck Ryou, you're bleeding." Ryou blinked, surprised. "What, couldn't you feel it?"

"W-Well, yeah, but I thought it was..." Ryou's face was red. "Umm... You don't think Yugi and Jou..."

"Nah." Bakura grabbed Ryou's elbow and started walking to the bathroom. "They wouldn't have seen anything, they wouldn't have been looking." Ryou followed obediently, his heart racing and mind whirling. He was still struggling to process everything that Bakura had said. _If only I could show Bakura just how sorry I was and how I want to make it all better... _

"Bakura..." Ryou passed outside the bathroom door, looking Bakura in the eye. "W-W really need to talk about all this-"

"Shower first." Bakura commanded, releasing his hold on Ryou's arm, shifting his gaze to the floor. "You'll feel better. Then we'll talk, okay?"

"... Yeah." Ryou smiled, straightened a little. Bakura blinked as Ryou placed a soft, tasty kiss on his lips, his heart skipping a beat in his chest. "Give me twenty minutes."

"... Sure." Bakura muttered as Ryou closed the bathroom door, slumping his shoulders. He leaned against the wall with a long sigh, lowering his head to his hands. "_Fuck."_ He couldn't believe the corner he had backed himself into. He didn't want to talk to Ryou! He didn't want to discuss how he felt or what was going through his head or what he wanted to do. He couldn't. He wouldn't!

_I can't handle this_. Bakura ran down the hallway, into his room. He grabbed at the closest shirt he could find, a button-down shirt, and pulled it onto his skinny frame. He yanked the door shut behind himself, and ran down the hall, not bothering to do up his shirt. _I can't... I cant think about any of this. Oh God, there's no right and wrong answer to this. _

Bakura was in the kitchen. He grabbed at his car keys that had been tossed on the bench, and pulled the front door open without a second thought. He didn't know what else to do. Bakura knew he just couldn't be up to either one of the two inevitable scenarios- telling Ryou it could never work out and watch him break down, followed by eternal banishment by a certain _pharaoh_, or forcing out the words Ryou longer to hear- That Bakura forgave him and they could be together. Words he could never bring himself to utter. Running away, seeking refuge and trying to get help seemed like the best possible option at that moment.

So run away he did.

* * *

Wooooo, chapter finished! happy time!

R&R?


	38. Chapter 38

Omg. I FINALLY finished it! The last chapter! Well, second-to-last, really, because there'll be an epilogue after all of this... I can't believe its almost over..

Disclaimer: I own nothing

* * *

_Bring!_

"Door." The man muttered blearily, staring at the television screen. "Sanami, get the door!"

"You get it!" A voice shot back from the bedroom. "I'm getting dressed..."

_Bring!_

"But I'm watchin' this!" He complained, taking a sip of his beer. "Oh _fine." _He slowly dragged himself into a sitting position, and, setting his beer down on the coffee table, stood up, and headed to the front door. At this point, the person who wanted in was banging on the door loudly, shouting and swearing. "The hell..."

"Yes?" He muttered curtly as he pulled the door open, staring at the strange figure in the doorway with a raised eyebrow. "How may I-"

"Where is she." Bakura cut overtop of the man, and pushed past him, heading into the lounge. "Sanami!"

"Who the... What are you doing?" He shouted, incensed. "Who the hell who do you think you are?"

"_Sanami!"_ Bakura screamed. In the bedroom, a pair of green eyes widened. _No._ "For Gods' sake, I-"

"What the... Bakura..." Sanami stood in the doorway to the bedroom, disbelieving. "What... _Why_ are you here?"

"I..." Bakura's shoulders slowly slumped, and he looked down at his bare feet, heart thudding, feeling sick. "I..."

"Yeah?" Bakura clenched his trembling hands into fists, letting out a long breath. Strange as it was, the woman didn't actually seem angry to see him, regardless of their last encounter. Bakura brushed his hair out of his eyes as he lifted his head, unable to quell the viscous shakes that wracked his bony frame.

"I slept with Ryou." Bakura's voice was hoarse. With that, he just crumbled, sinking his head into his hands. He knew he must have looked so pathetic, but he didn't care. Besides, she'd seen him lower. _Ugh. That is just sad..._

"Oh... _Oh..."_ Aware of her husbands' eye on her, she stepped forward to take Bakura's elbow, leading him over to the couch. Bakura followed blindly. "Shit... Okay, it's okay Bakura." She murmured soothingly, instantly realising the cause for Bakura's anguish. "... Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Why else would I be here." Bakura muttered in a hollow voice, staring blankly at the carpet. "I'm backed into a fucking corner. What the hell do I do?"

"... That's a hefty question." Sanami sat down beside Bakura, hands folded in her lap. "I can't exactly answer that for you." Bakura growled, a dangerous sound, and the woman winced. "I can't!"

"Just tell me what to do." Bakura muttered. "You apparently know everything. Tell me how to make Ryou and I both happy and stop all this pain. Just tell me and I'll do it."

"Simple." Sanami stood up, beginning to head towards the kitchen. "Marry Ryou."

"No!" Bakura's head snapped up, eyes wide in shock. "Fuck off! I-I can't..."

"I knew you would say that." Ignoring the glare her husband shot her, she flicked the switch on her electric kettle. "I'll make you a hot drink, and we can talk this out, okay?"

"What?" The older man spat, seething. "What the hell? Sanami, we've got dinner reservations! People are expecting us! Kick this junkie so we can go!"

"Ex_cuse_ me?" Bakura rolled his eyes, forgetting how high Sanami's voice got when she was angry. "He's one of my patients!"

"You're not working!"

"Well, I'm sorry. Unlike you, I don't forget about work as soon as five o'clock rolls around!"

"I know! And you know how that pisses me off!"

"Hey, my long hours paid for this apartment!"

Bakura sighed, lolling his head against the back of the couch, rolling his eyes. _Why the hell do I ask this woman for help when she has her own raging relationship problems..._ Heaving a sigh, Bakura slowly stood up, in case it turned nasty on his part, and he had to bail her out. He was actually still amazed that she still gave a shit, especially after what he did.

"Look, just go." Sanami rubbed at her eyes tiredly. "Go without me, and tell them that I can't show up."

"What? It's Muyoka's birthday-"

"This is more important than some stupid pretentious dinner!" Bakura rested a hand on the back of the couch, surveying Sanami closely. "God, just... Please."

"Is he the one that beat you up a few weeks ago?" Bakura bit his lip, taking a step back. _Shit._

"Look, it doesn't matter." Sanami pleaded, shooting Bakura a fleeting glance. "Please, I need to do this..."

"Whatever." Sanami gasped as she was pushed aside roughly, the man yanking the door open, grabbing his coat and keys, and slamming the door so hard the walls shook. She let out a long, shaking breath.

"Hell." Bakura shoved his hands into his pockets, not knowing what to say. "... He's a prick."

"Just slightly." Sanami murmured, pulling two coffee mugs out of the kitchen cupboard.

"You told him what I did?" Bakura sank back down into the couch, staring at the blank TV screen. Sanami sighed, her hand stilling.

"Bakura, I still have bruises on my stomach." The woman murmured, keeping her eyes fixed on making the drinks. "They were black a couple of weeks ago. How could he not notice?"

"... Oh." The words _I'm sorry_ hung in the air, expressed, but not vocally spoken.

"Yeah." Bakura looked up as a mug of herbal tea was placed on the coffee table in front of him. He raised a pale eyebrow. "What?"

"Herbal tea?" He shot the woman a deadpan look. "You've got to be kidding."

"It's relaxing." Sanami protested, sitting down with a long sigh. "Bakura, you're shaking. Calm down."

"Oh, yeah." Bakura snorted, crossing his arms and looking determinedly out the window, at the night sky, lit up by the bright lights of the city. "Like that'll happen."

"Not with that attitude-"

"How the hell am I supposed to be calm?" Bakura shot back, cutting over her. "How could I be so stupid? I slept with Ryou! How could I be so fucking stupid! _Why_ did I do it?"

"... I was about to ask you that." Sanami murmured gently, taking a sip of her own drink. "Bakura, I want you to tell me everything that happened in the last twelve hours, okay?"

"Uhh... Okay." Bakura leaned back, and closed his eyes, trying to slow his erratic breathing. "Well... This morning... No, afternoon. I called Ryou and told him to meet me at the bridge cos he had to talk."

"And?" Sanami encouraged the yami, looking deep in thought. Bakura sighed.

"I was planning on leaving the country. Starting somewhere new. I broke it to him, and he just flipped out at me, saying that I couldn't leave him. He started clinging on to me, and I panicked and pushed him away..." Bakura trailed off, unable to continue. After a moment of still, awkward silence, he picked up the slowly cooling cup of tea, taking a tiny sip. He made a face at the taste, but settled back into the chair, wrapping both hands around the porcelain mug, crimson eyes surveying the way steam furled into the air.

"And?" Sanami pushed him gently, an unreadable expression in her wide green eyes. "Bakura, what happened?"

"He fell into the river." The yami muttered shortly, teeth gritted. Sanami blinked, taken aback.

"What?"

"Yep." Bakura closed his eyes for a moment, feeling quite sick with himself. "I pushed him over the edge. And he couldn't swim, and was screaming at me to help..." Bakura took another deep gulp of his drink.

"That would have been pretty rough." Sanami wished she had a piece of paper to write everything Bakura was saying down. The yami gave a derisive snort. "What exactly was going through your head?"

"What the fuck do you think." Bakura snarled, a hard edge to his voice. "I panicked. All I could think about was how Ryou was drowning, right in front of me. I just jumped in and tried to pull him out. It was hard work, too." Sanami narrowed her eyes, noticing how reluctant Bakura was to talk about his feelings.

"Bakura, are you still in love with Ryou?" Sanami dared to ask gently. She braced herself, preparing for an onslaught of abuse on Bakura's part. All the yami did, however, was hand his head, and, after a long sigh, nodded.

"Yeah." He sounded both glum and wistful. "I do love him. I love him so much, and seriously, I want nothing more than to be able to spend the rest of my life with him. But..."

"But what?" Sanami pressed, confused and surprised. She never expected to hear Bakura say those words again.

"I can't!" Bakura slammed his half-empty tea cup down on the coffee table with a low growl. "I want it so bad, but I know I can't!"

"Because you can't forgive him." Sanami nodded gently, drinking the last of her herbal tea. "I understand."

"No you don't." Bakura muttered, crossing his arms and looking away. Really, his childish mannerisms never failed to amuse Sanami- Or send her into despair. "You don't know how I feel."

"Yeah, I do." Sanami set her cup down on the coffee table. "It's called empathy Bakura. And as a psychiatrist, I have to express it alot."

"Sanami, I'm freaking out here!" Bakura looked up at the woman, his eyes flashing. "I just... I don't know what to do! Do you know how much trouble this has landed me in? I have someone ready to _kill_ me if I don't take Ryou back! How the fuck do you think I feel with that hanging over my head? And he would do it. I know him. His father... Shit, he was the one that killed my parents." Bakura's voice caught, but he swallowed it back, taking a deep breath. "He could kill me if he wanted to. I don't wanna die, Sanami!"

"Of course you don't." Sanami murmured, worried. "Bakura... tell the police. They can help-"

"No." Bakura snarled, shaking his head emphatically. "The police couldn't do shit. He could massacre him if he felt the need. But he wants me to be with Ryou and I _cant!_ I can't because whenever I just look at him it brings up all of these awful feelings about him cheating on me, and it's like, I'm torn between hating his guts for what he's done and not wanting to touch him, but then I'm crazy in love with him and want more and I'm so fucking _confused._" He lowered his head into his hands, moaning. "I don't know what to _do."_

"Bakura..." Sanami sighed sympathetically, resting a hand on Bakura's shoulder for a moment. "You have to think about this. If Ryou repels you so much, then what made you sleep with him earlier tonight?"

"Because when I'm with him, none of that shit matters!" He snapped up, lashing out. "When I'm kissing and holding him, all I can think about is how fucking perfect he is and how much I want him and..." Bakura sighed deeply. "To... To tell you the truth... Malik and Ryou together is the very last thing on my mind."

"Your feelings of love and devotion override any anger that you hold towards Ryou." Sanami tried to explain to the yami. "But your conscious wont let you accept that, because you have this mentality, that's just so stubborn and unmoving, and once you have this idea in your head, you can't get it out."

"So what, now I'm a stubborn child?" Bakura spat, frowning. "How_nice_ of you." Sanami groaned, and tried again.

"Bakura, I've known you for quite a while, and I've seen how much you've matured and changed. You put a lot of your trust in Ryou when you proposed to him. You put all of your faith in him. And he broke that. He broke your heart, and you don't want to forgive him."

"No shit." Bakura drew his legs up to the seat of the sofa, his toes hanging over the edge. "Does this have a point?"

"Of course it does." Sanami murmured. "Bakura, you want to marry Ryou. You want to be with him and spend the rest of your life with him. I can see it. Because being with Ryou makes you happy. It makes you happier than you've ever been before, and you're so sure that you'll never recapture that happiness and love with anyone else."

"I wont." Bakura's hair fell into his eyes as he drooped his head slightly. The chamomile tea had had a little effect on him, and his shaking had stopped, but he didn't feel any better on the inside. "Ryou is so special to me. I've known him since he was a little kid, and just watching him grow up and being so close to him so much... I felt like he was the only guy in the world I could rely on. I can't ever get that again with anyone else."

"Well, I've said before that I believe in soulmates." Sanami said gently. "And I believe that you and Ryou are absolutely perfect for each other. But in order for you two to start a relationship again, you have to regain your trust with Ryou."

"I can't." Bakura muttered, his arms wrapped around his legs. He stared at his now-cold cup of tea. "I _can't._" Bakura's voice broke, and he rested his forehead against his knees, tears threatening to fall from his eyes, a sob rising in his chest. The white-haired male froze when he felt a hand on his shoulder, before slowly relaxing.

"What happened after you got Ryou out of the water?" Sanami waited a few minutes before attempting to talk to Ryou again. Bakura swallowed, and slowly raised his head, staring into space. Noticing his red-rimmed eyes, Sanami removed her hand from his shoulder, and slowly backed away.

"He was freezing." Bakura's voice was dull, and hollow. "I couldn't take him back to where he was staying. I took him back to my place, and tried to keep him as warm as possible."

"That would have been hard." Sanami sighed. "Caring for him, I mean."

"It was." Bakura's voice was thick. "And then... He still wasn't warming up, so we had to kinda be naked together to conserve body heat."

"... That would bring up a lot." Sanami said mildly, starting to blush.

"You're not kidding." Bakura sighed, rubbing at one eye. "And then... God, I kissed him. I don't even know why, but I did..." He looked dejected. "And then I said I couldn't ever be with Ryou, even though I love him so much, and he started crying and so did I and I just felt like _shit_ about it."

"And then?" Sanami asked, her gaze never wavering from Bakura's face, watching every reaction that flickered in his dark eyes.

"Got a phone call." Bakura muttered. "But it wasn't important. And then Ryou asked to let him kiss me one more time, so I did, and then we just went further and further and neither of us wanted to stop and..."

"You slept with him." Sanami nodded. "Okay."

"Oh, it's _not_ okay." Bakura tensed. "It can never be okay. God_damn, _look at the mess that we're both in! And I can't fix it! I want to, so badly. I want to forgive Ryou and be happy with him and live with him but I just fucking _can't _and it hurts so much!" He moaned, fingers twisted in his hair. "Tell me the right things."

"Like what?" Sanami asked. "I thought I was condescending and patronizing." Bakura shot her a filthy look. "What?"

"_That _is being patronizing." He muttered, glowering. Sanami sighed, and roller her eyes.

"Fine then. I'm patronizing about being patronizing. Bakura, the point is, there is a beautiful guy out there begging for your forgiveness. He's stuck around so much more than he should have. Geez Bakura, if I was him I would have told you to leave years ago. Can't you think about that when you try to forgive him?"

"I don't care about his years of dedication." A nasty tone has sparked in Bakura's voice. "It doesn't matter. He destroyed it. If I meant so much to him, he wouldn't have done this to me, Sanami."

"Bakura..." Sanami slowly stood up, looking extremely thoughtful. "Ryou thinks so highly of you. You're the most important person in the world to him. He wants your forgiveness so much. And you know what? You do have every right to be angry at him. I would be angry at him too, Bakura. But I would still forgive him, over time. You have to learn forgiveness and empathy. I know it's totally unlike your character, and I wouldn't be surprised to learn that you never want to see him again. In fact, I would kinda expect it."

"So you want me to reject him." Bakura muttered, glaring determinedly at the floor. Sanami frowned, shaking her head.

"No way. I want you to go back to him, marry him, and spend the rest of your life in sweet wedded bliss, silly." Sanami sat back down. "You have to make up your mind. You can't keep doing this to the both of you Bakura. I know you were willing to let Ryou go before, but do you really think you could now? After what's happened this evening, do you actually think you could throw the love of your life away?"

"... Well..." Bakura slowly started, his head starting to hurt. "I-"

"Don't." Sanami cut him off gently. "Don't say. I know the answer. We both do."

"... Yeah." Bakura's eyes glistened with tears.

"You're such a stubborn bastard." Sanami collected the coffee cups, taking them over to the kitchen sink. "I've been in this business for almost twenty years, and I've never met anyone like you Bakura. You're so..."

"What?" Bakura was glad to change the subject- Onto him, no less. "What am I?"

"... The most twisted, screwed up person I've had the pleasure to meet." She finished, unable to hide a wry smile. "And by far my most interesting patient." The woman leaned into the couch with a long sigh.

"Thanks." Bakura muttered, standing up from the couch. "I mean it. Thanks for not getting pissed and chucking me out."

"That's okay." Sanami smiled warmly. "I'm gad you came to me, Bakura. The fact that you're willing to come here and talk about things just proves how much you've changed from that angry, despising young man that joined my counselling group over a year ago. You wouldn't have done that. You wouldn't have the maturity to do any of this."

"I'm not immature." Bakura protested, arms crossed, snarling. "I'm older than I look. A lot older."

"Oh, yes, twenty five is just ancient." Sanami grinned. "I'm thirteen years older than you still." Bakura smirked. _Oh, you are not._ "Look... are you gonna be okay to leave? I don't want you doing anything stupid."

"I wont." Bakura turned away, swallowing. "I... I guess I've made my choice."

"And... I think it is for the best." Sanami nodded. "In the long run. It'll seem so hard at the start, especially after what's happened to you. But I promise, when time wears on, it'll seem like the right thing."

"Doubt it." Bakura walked to the front door, pulling it open. "Deep down, I don't think it'll ever seem right. But thanks for listening. And sorry you missed your dinner."

"Ugh, I didn't even want to go." Sanami grimaced. "Tell you the truth, I was glad to have a reason to bail out on it. Good luck Bakura."

"Thanks." Bakura's expression was unreadable as he closed the front door behind himself, leaning heavily against it. The wooden floorboards were cold beneath his bare feet, the lights buzzing annoyingly. _This is going to be so hard... I'm not even sure if I can do this. But I have to. I know I have to. _

_Ryou and I can't stay like this. I have to end all of the pain._

* * *

"Bakura, where are you..."

Ryou sank onto the edge of the bed, shoulders slumped. He should have seen this coming, really. Of course Bakura was going to take the opportunity and run. What a coward. _No. He's not. He's scared and confused and upset. Just like I am._ It was hard to comprehend, really, everything that had happened that day. Ryou felt exhausted, drained. He wanted nothing more than to sleep, but his wide awake mind would never let that happened. Besides, he wanted to stay up for when Bakura finally came home.

It was boredom that made Ryou stand up, and walk towards the wardrobe. Well, boredom and curiosity. He pulled the door open with slightly trembling hands, staring at the contents inside. There wasn't really much. Ryou's old school uniform that didn't fit him, a few jackets and shits, and a white clothes back at the end. _Oh..._ His heart thudding, Ryou slowly pushed the other clothes aside, and pulled the bag along the railing to the centre of the wardrobe, zipping it open. His mothers wedding dress peeked out at him, still as white and pristine and perfect as ever. Ryou's heart sank another notch as he stared, tears welling in his eyes. His gaze lowered down to the ring on his left hand, the diamond winking up at him in the light. Funny, how Bakura hadn't noticed and criticized that Ryou was _still_ wearing his engagement ring. Maybe he just didn't care...

_I suppose when you look at it, it is pretty pathetic. We've been over for almost a year, I still shouldn't be wearing this ring, it makes it seem like we're still engaged. I wish I was though... Of course. _Ryou closed the bag again with a long sigh. He was still, and quiet for a moment, before sorting through the wardrobe again, wondering what else of his was still there. He'd left a lot of his things when he loved to Yugi's, simply because he thought he was only going to be gone for a few weeks, maybe a month or two. Ryou thought that he was going to allow Ryou to come back. _But I was wrong... Again._ The whitenette's hand closed around a slim black case, that he pulled out from the wardrobe with a small smile.

His flute. Ryou set it down on the bed, and gently lifted the lid, staring down at the silver flute amongst the royal blue velvet. He still remembered the morning when Bakura had given him that flute as a simple gift, in an expression of love. _But that was a lie that time, to make me fall deeper under his spell..._ He ran a finger over the cool silver, his heart heavy. _This wasn't given to me with the best of intentions, but it's still one of my favourite possessions, even if I haven't played it in months... _He remembered how Bakura used to admire his music skills, which he himself didn't have, and Ryou had to admit, that made him feel great. Shrugging slightly, he picked up the flute pieces, and slotted them together, angling the mouth piece carefully. Ryou stood up as he raised the flute to his lips, getting as much air into his lungs as he could. He played a simple scale, just to test out his own lung power, and winced. _Ugh. _The high notes squeaked, and the low notes sounded breathy and fuzzy. _I suck!_ Ryou raised his eyes to the ceiling, and tried again, pushing the air from his stomachlike he should have the first time. _That sounded better._

After a few minutes, however, he had to lower the flute, starting to feel dizzy. _Wow. I suck at this... My lung power's nowhere near as it used to be. I supposed if I kept up practise, it would be okay. But I'm not sure if I could keep it up again. I mean, it's kinda really low on my list of priorities._ Ryou sighed, put the flute back into the case, which he clicked shut. _I'll keep it though... Wherever I'm going..._ He set it down on the dressing table, catching himself in the mirror. _Ugh. I look like crap right now._ He trued to smooth down his white fluffy hair, which had naturally dried thick and full, but failed. He was wearing a simple oversized t-shirt and boxers that he had pulled on, knowing –well, hoping- that Bakura would forgive him. He looked and felt as though he were only ninety pounds. It wasn't remotely healthy. _But Bakura looks just as bad. So he couldn't say that there was no physical attraction between us, could he?_

_I don't know._ Despite his mental alertness, Ryou's body was screaming for sleep, and he couldn't ignore it any longer. He stumbled over to the bed, as though in a daze, and pulled back the rumpled covers, sniffing the sheets carefully. They were okay –barely. Ryou would have replaced them, were he less tired. As it was, he just crawled under the blankets, which he replaced around himself, on his side of the bed, and nuzzled the pillow. Lying in his old bed again felt like being reunited with a very old friend. It was just so soft and comfortable, and adjusted exactly to his weight and size, like it always had...

Although his mind was whirling around with everything that had happened that day, Ryou was passed out, exhausted and drained, within moments.

* * *

"Hello?" Bakura's voice rang out somewhat nervously as he stepped inside the quiet house. "Ryou? Hello?" He threw his car keys on the table, frowning. "You still here?" He ducked his head to look into the lounge. Nothing. "Ryou?" He started down the hall, heading towards his room. "I... Oh." He paused in the doorway as he stared at the teenager, who had fallen asleep on his bed. He was fast asleep, dead to the world. Bakura's shoulder slumped in a long sigh, and he walked towards the bed. Ryou lay on his back, his hair all over his face, and blankets strewn about the bed. Silently, he straightened the blankets, laying them over Ryou's still form, before bending down to brush Ryou's soft white hair out if his eyes. Bakura's fingertips paused on the side of Ryou's face, and he couldn't stop a smile spreading across his face. He looked so sweet and innocent, tucked in the blankets, sound asleep, and it made Bakura's stomach go soft.

"Oh Ryou..." Bakura bent down, lightly kissing Ryou's forehead. How was it that right then, at that moment, Bakura wasn't angry at Ryou? His chest was just full of love and compassion towards his sleeping lighter half. It was just like when he was making love to Ryou. He totally forgot about what Ryou had done to him. Because it didn't matter as much. Bakura stared down at his sleeping face, noticing his thin, worn features, dark circles under his eyes, and the downward droop of his lips. He looked unhealthy and miserable, yes, but still so sweet and beautiful... He was perfect.

"Fuck." Bakura groaned as he stood up, and turned away. He couldn't hang around Ryou anymore- he wasn't thinking straight. Instead, he headed back into the lounge, where he collapsed on he couch, groping for the remote and turning on the television. He would wait for Ryou to wake up. And then... _Oh God._ Bakura's stomach churned with nerves, just thinking about what he was going to do to Ryou. _I'm not even sure if I have the nerve after all this... _

_But I gotta do it. I got to._ Bakura made a face, and shifted his gaze to the window, the curtains drawn back. Because the light was going, it all just looked dark. And creepy. But Bakura loved dark and creepy, of course.

_I'll let Ryou have a bit of a nap first._ Bakura sighed. _If he's not awake in an hour, then I'll wake him up and talk to him... If I can. Maybe I could do this without talking to him. I fucking hope so, because I just don't think that I could speak to him. _

_I can't bring myself to say anything to him. _

* * *

"Hey."

Ryou was awake at eleven o'clock. Bakura's gaze flicked from the TV and to the clock for a second, and he inclined his head in a nod, noting Ryou's presence.

"Hey." He replied, his voice hollow and dull. He clenched his hands into fists, in a bid to stop them shaking, and took a deep breath, his heart thudding. _Oh God, he's gonna wanna talk... But I have to do this, I have to... _

"You... You said we had to talk." Ryou murmured gently, crossing the room to stand in front of Bakura. The yami was still, his eyes fixated on Ryou's hand, as the whitenette started twisting his engagement ring around his finger, nerves setting him on edge. "I-"

"There's nothing to talk about." Bakura's voice cut over Ryou's, in a low growl. Ryou froze, eyes widening.

"Wh-What-"

"There's nothing to talk about." Bakura repeated, his voice a little louder. He was starting to feel sick.

"Y-Yes..." Ryou protested weakly, tears welling in his eyes. "B-Bakura... I-I... We... This can't..." His words stumbled over each other, as he tried to speak, his heart sinking in dread.

"Ryou, no!" Bakura stood up, his voice loud, and angry. But not full of hate. "There's nothing to say!" Ryou's lower lip trembled, and a tear trickled down his cheek as he looked Bakura in the eye. He felt sick with disappointment. And rejection. _How can he say that? I though this changed things, I thought he cared!_ Bakura stared as Ryou slowly bowed his head, starting to cry. Bakura closed his eyes for a moment, teeth gritted. Ryou sniffed, the sound filling the air.

"Th-then..." Ryou's voice shook. Bakura opened his eyes. "I-I suppose that..." Bakura lowered his gaze back down to Ryou's hands, where the teenager was pulling at the ring on his left hand, screwing it over his first knuckle, and yanking at it until it came away in his palm. "This... This is yours..." Ryou's voice broke, and he turned and fled, dropping his engagement ring on the table. It clanged and banged, spinning around a few times, before stopping. A door slammed.

"Shit." Bakura blinked rapidly as he slowly bent down, and picked up the huge diamond ring. "Ryou no..."_ It wasn't supposed to go like this at all! Ryou, you don't get what I mean! _

_Well, fix it, idiot! _

Filled with resolve, and still terrified, Bakura's hand closed and tightened around the ring, and he ran towards the guest room, noticing that the door to his own room was still open. He stilled, and pressed his ear against the wood, sighing as the sound of sobbing met his ears.

"Ryou..." Bakura slowly opened the door with his free hand, something in his chest rising as Ryou sniffed, sobbing on the bed with his face pressed into a pillow. His heart was just broken. "Please..."

"Go away!" Ryou lifted his head, eyes red-rimmed and face blotchy. "Leave me alone!"

"Ryou, I-"

"You don't want me!" Ryou was starting to hyperventilate, miserable. "A-And I... I-I dared to _hope._"_Stop this now. _A voice in Bakura's head commanded. _Just do it. Sanami's right, it'll be for the best. _

"Ryou, there's nothing to say to you because I don't know how to say it." Bakura started walking towards the bed, an expression in his face that made Ryou freeze, before slowly sitting up, eyes wide, a glimmer of hope still in his deep chocolatey depths. "I wanna but my head, my mouth, it won't let me say it." Bakura was standing in front of Ryou. The teenager stood up, eyes still wide, looking concerned, and thoughtful.

"Wh-What did you want to say?" Ryou took a step to the side, and Bakura followed, his eyes trained on Ryou's face. "Please... Don't reject me..."

"No." Ryou blinked, and stared at Bakura, his heart skipping a beat. _What..._ "Gimme your hand."

"M-My what?" Ryou asked, confused. "I-I don't-"

"Oh bloody _hell_." Visibly shaking with nerves, Bakura grabbed Ryou's wrist, and held it out, holding Ryou's engagement ring with two fingers. Ryou's heart stopped.

"No..." Ryou gasped, fresh tears pooling in his eyes as Bakura started to slide the ring on Ryou's finger. Both of them were crying. "_No..._" When he had pushed it onto Ryou's finger as far as it could go, Bakura released his hold on Ryou's hand, and took a step back, towards the bed. Ryou stood absolutely still, disbelieving, trying to understand what was going on. _Bakura said there was nothing to say... _

And he was right.

Because putting that ring back on Ryou's finger, replacing that symbol of promise, of love and trust, spoke _volumes._

With a choked sob, Ryou absolutely_ flew _at Bakura, tackling him in a vicious hug, as soon as he realised what the whole thing meant. _Oof!_ Bakura, who was taken aback, was pushed onto the bed. Ryou's arms were wrapped around his neck with a strangling force, his nose buried in his collarbone, as he started crying in pure joy, laughing and sobbing all at once. And Bakura felt the same way. It was like he'd swallowed a bucket of sunshine. He just felt so warm, and overjoyed, and happy. And more than all that, he was overcome with pure love for Ryou, the one who had pushed him into the bed, and was now lying in his arms, crying. Bakura wrapped his arms around Ryou's shoulders, and softly placed a kiss to the crown of his head, shedding a few tears himself.

He wasn't sure if he'd forgiven Ryou a hundred percent yet. And he was sure that he would never be able to let go of the pain that he felt towards Ryou's betrayal. But there was no doubt about it- Although it wasn't the easy thing, rekindling his broken relationship with Ryou was most definitely the right thing.

"You okay..." Bakura murmured softly, as Ryou slowly drew his head back, brown eyes looking up at him, wide and shining. He gently stroked Ryou's cheek with a thumb, his heart racing.

"Y-Yeah." Ryou's face broke into a wide smile, and he tightened his hold around Bakura's neck. "I'm _great._" He didn't think he had ever felt happier than he had at that moment. All he could think about was the wonderful, euphoric sensation, of just _knowing_ that he and Bakura were a couple again. That he would never have to endure Bakura yelling at him, being angry to him, hurting him or being nasty to him at all ever again. They were actually getting _married_ again.

"Mmmm." Bakura nodded in assent, slowly sitting up. Ryou leaned against his chest, curled up in his lap with his legs stretching out across the bed. Bakura had his arms wrapped around Ryou so tightly he could barely breathe, but he didn't mind. Ryou was clinging to Bakura just as tight. Neither wanted to let the other go. He was still crying, and Bakura gently rocked the whitenette from side to side. "Shhhh..."

"I-I'm okay." Ryou sniffed, nuzzling Bakura's collarbone. "I-I'm more than okay... I just... So many emotions are all rolling around, I-I just can't..." Bakura, if it was possible, managed to hug Ryou even tighter, burying his nose in Ryou's hair and inhaling deeply. He'd used his old shampoo that Bakura had never bothered to take out of the shower...

That was when it really hit him, that he had his sweet, gorgeous little Ryou back. When the most important person in his life, the one he loved most, was with him again. Holding him tightly in his arms, smelling his hair and hearing his voice... It felt almost like the whole nightmare of the past year was just that- A nightmare. A bad dream and they had both finally woken up...

"'Kura, I love you." Ryou's voice was thick, and muffled through his shirt and skin. Bakura smiled, his heart full to bursting.

"I love you too." Bakura loosely threaded his long bony fingers through Ryou's hair, stroking the white softness. "A-And... About yelling at you before..."

"It's okay." Ryou sniffed. "I understand. It took a lot of courage to do this..." Bakura smiled, and nodded, his lips and hands in Ryou's hair.

"It was Sanami that convinced me the right thing was to come back to you." He murmured softly. "I knew the answer all along, but you know me. My stupid pride got in the way."

"I knew you would come around eventually." Ryou sniffed. "All along... I just kept that tiny hope... I knew you would forgive me."

"What." The tone in Bakura's voice was such a shock, that Ryou drew his head back, looking confused and frightened. "Who said anything about forgiving you?"

"B-But..." Ryou blinked, panic setting in. "W-We're getting married again...We're a couple... Aren't we?" _What if I got the wrong end of the stick?_ It felt like a lump of ice was sticking in his stomach.

"'Course we are." Bakura stared into Ryou's eyes. "Look. Just... Don't ever mention the whole unpleasant fucking incident, and we'll be okay." Ryou opened his mouth, eyebrows set in a frown, ready to protest. To explain that building such an intense relationship on such fragile foundations, and that it was going to cause major problems down the line. That Bakura was kidding himself if he could just simply forget about the past year and think that it was going to be all perfect. _He said himself a few hours ago that it was so hard we could never be together..._

"I won't." Ryou caved, and nuzzled Bakura's chest again, enjoying their intense closeness. He decided that he wouldn't jeopardize their brand new –kinda- relationship over something that was at that moment pretty trivial. Because he had Bakura again. And that was all that mattered. _Oh God... We're going to get married! And spend the rest of our lives together... _Ryou was so excited at the prospect of waking up every morning to Bakura's face, and going to sleep in the arms of the man he loved so much, he thought he might burst with joy.

"You tired?" Bakura asked, still holding Ryou, rocking him gently. Ryou shook his head, a permanent grin fixed on his face.

"No, I'm wide awake." The smile widened. "But you know what..." Bakura blinked as Ryou looked up, love in his eyes. "I'm _starving."_ Bakura chuckled, unable to really help himself.

"Yeah, me too." He sighed, ruffling Ryou's hair. The brown-eyed boy giggled. "Look at us. We haven't eaten properly in _weeks..._"

"Yeah..." Ryou sat up a little straighter, his eyes shining. "Lets go out. Get some great big greasy cheeseburgers."

"It's like, past eleven." Bakura smirked. "I thought it was too late to go out." Ryou only grinned, shaking his head. "What the... What are you high on?"

"You." Bakura blinked as Ryou kissed him deeply, his hands trailing over his face. "Why. You got a problem with this?"

"... Hell no." Ryou shrieked as Bakura pushed him onto the bed, assaulting his mouth with a rough kiss. "Mmmm..." He sighed, pulling away just a few seconds later, leaving Ryou cloudy-eyed and gasping. "Come on." Ryou squeaked as Bakura stood up, pulling him along, invigorated, and –dare he say it- excited. "Come on. You get dressed, and then we'll hit the town. Lets' make a night of it."

"Our first date again." Ryou squeezed Bakura's hand tightly turning to him to flash a smile. He was nervous, but still so euphoric and excited. Bakura merely nodded cheekily, and pulled Ryou out of the room, his own heart thudding.

There was little doubt that he maybe wasn't ready to enter a full-blown relationship with Ryou. There was still so much hurt and betrayal, and deep down, Bakura knew that burying it would only cause more pain later on. But maybe a few (dozen) intense therapy sessions could teach Bakura the forgiveness he knew he needed to show Ryou. And besides, Bakura also knew that, more than ever, him and Ryou just needed to be happy. And when he was with Ryou, being intimate and close with him, not thinking about anything but the little beauty he laid with... He was happy. And Ryou was happy. Not only that, it just felt so _right. _ He felt as though Ryou belonged in his arms. And Ryou obviously felt the same way. His chest hurt –in a good way- just looking at Ryou, overcome with joy...

They were together.

They were in love.

They were happy.

And that was all that mattered.

* * *

AAAAaaaaaaaaawwwwwhhhhhhhh, fluffy times will be had by all. xD

Only one to go... o.0 Hell.

R&R!!!


	39. Chapter 39

Oh Lord.

This is it. This is really it. The final, final chapter. Last one. No more. I need a drink...

Disclaimer: Well, seeing as its the last chapter I OWN IT ALL FUCKERS MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT ARE YA GONNA DO NOW?

Actually, I don't. -wails-

Anyways, onward with the -gulp- last chapter...

* * *

"Is this the right place?" Joey craned his neck past Honda to stare out the side window. 

"Right address." Yugi cast another look down to his piece of paper, with Ryou's new address hastily scribbled in blue pen. 

"They can't live here." Yami muttered, a scowl set on his face. "_Look_ at the place." Five pairs of eyes stared at the white, two-storied house, which was pretty similar to every other house on the street, with a big garage, a tree on the front yard, and a well-kept garden. "How can they afford it?"

"Beats me." Yugi shrugged as he opened the car door, and closed it behind him. "But the spirit steals alot, remember?"

"Yeah, but this is worth like, a million dollars, I bet." Anzu locked her car when everyone was out, although, because it was such a nice area, she probably didn't have to. "He can't steal _that_ much..."

"Maybe..." Yugi shrugged as they started walking up the front lawn. "I just wanna know what was so wrong with the other house. Why did they have to move? It's just them."

"Who knows?" Honda rang the doorbell, not liking the look on Yami's face. "They had the money, they wanted to spend it. Fair enough. I would." Yami opened his mouth, about to retaliate, when the door was pulled open, and Ryou stood on the threshold, smiling.

"Hey, guys." He stood aside to let them all in, before pushing the door closed quietly. "It's great to see you all."

"Yeah, you too." Jounouchi beamed. "Ryou, you look great." The teenager blushed. "No, really. You must have put on twenty pounds."

"Twenty-two." Ryou brushed his hair out of his eyes. And he did look so much better. Gone were the days when the only expression drawn on Ryou's face was pain and misery. Sure, there was a little tiredness around his eyes no one could place, but his face was so much more rounded and fuller than before, his eyes were bright, and his lips seemed to be fixed in a permanent smile. He looked so much healthier and happier than he had a few short months ago. "So I'm actually heavier than I was a year ago... But that's okay, Kura said I never ate enough anyway." Yami shot him a look.

"Soo... When do we get a tour of this place?" Yugi asked, staring around at the large lounge that also served as an entrance room.

"Oh!" Ryou brightened, and nodded, grabbing what appeared to be a pink walkie-talkie, before starting to cross the room. "Yes, true, I have to show you around."

"Why did you get a bigger house in the first place, Bakura?" Anzu asked as they followed Ryou. The teenager smiled.

"Because, we needed more bedrooms for things... I'll show you in a little bit, it's a surprise." He added mysteriously, as he opened a door. "This is our dining room. We don't really use it much, unless Bakura's in a romantic mood or my father is over."

"He visits now?" Yugi asked, confused. Ryou nodded, his smile lowering a little.

"Yeah... He... Well, he was kinda diagnosed with Leukaemia a month ago." Ryou lowered his gaze. "His chances are really good, because it was caught pretty early, but he's getting paranoid that he's going to die before Christmas or something, so he's making an effort to spend as much time with me as he can..."

"That's great, Ryou." Jounouchi gave a weak smile. "Not about the cancer." He rushed, aware of the gazes on him. "But the fact that he's spending a lot of time with you."

"...Yeah, it is." Ryou closed the door. "I'm not worried at all. Doctors said his chances are like, seventy percent, and even then, it would be years before the cancer would kill him." But there was something different, more hollow and sadder in his body language. He was clearly suppressing a very deep fear. He opened another door. "Here's the kitchen."

"Woa, it's nice." They all stepped in, and stared around. It was a tasteful combination of brushed stainless steel, black tiling, and beautiful wooden panelling. "You've got all the modern stuff... Hey, a Magic Bullet!" Anzu grinned. "Are they as good as they say they are?"

"Yep." Ryou nodded. "Come on, I'll show you upstairs." They all trooped out, and started walking across the living room. 

"Man, you got a lot of pictures." Jounouchi stared around the walls. "They're weird... Where did you buy them from?"

"Oh... We didn't." Ryou ducked his head slightly. "Bakura painted them." The five blinked, disbelieving. "Oh yeah... He's really good..."

"That's... Really weird." Yugi blinked as he walked up the stairs. A large framed picture hung on the wall, and he stopped to look at it. "Bakura, that's so pretty..."

"What is?" Jounouchi pushed Yugi's hair down so he could look. "Awwhhh... Ryou, why did you get married in a dress?"

"B-Because." Ryou stuttered, his face going red. "I wanted to get married in a church, but they would never marry two men. I had to pretend to be a girl to get married there. Trust me, I didn't want to, Bakura made me." Yami sighed, and shook his head slowly, staring at the picture. They were outside the church, under a bright blue sky. Bakura had his arms around Ryou's waist, leaning over his shoulder to kiss him, while Ryou shied away, giggling. 

"Well... Anyways." Ryou started to walk down the hallway. "In July, Bakura started complaining that the house was too small, and he wanted somewhere were he could have somewhere to paint, because of the college-"

"Wait." Honda was in disbelief. "That psycho is going to _college?_" Ryou nodded, a smile on his face. "Woa..."

"Yeah." Ryou clutched the electronic device in his hand tightly. "I don't know if it was a plan of his, but about a month after we moved into this house, just a week ago, _this_happened." Ryou's hand tightened in a doorknob, which he turned, and pushed the door open. "Surprise."

"What... _What?_" Yugi blinked as he stepped inside the room, looking around. It was almost entirely pink, with thick carpets and pretty, light curtains. Someone –Bakura, obviously- had painted a beautiful mural across one wall, depicting a princess in a castle, a group of fairies, a pony, and other little girl things, nearly all in shades of pink and purple. The room was littered with toys, crammed on shelves and in chests, but there were four pieces of furniture- a rocking chair, a changing table, a small dresser, and a bassinet. "The..."

"She's just a week old." Ryou murmured softly as he set down the walkie-talkie, which Yugi recognized as a baby monitor. 

"A baby." Yami refused to believe it. "You have to be kidding me. A _baby?"_

"I know." Ryou bent down, and slowly picked up the little bundle, which had started to stir. She was wrapped up tightly in a soft woollen blanket, despite the September weather. 

"Where did he get it from?" Jounouchi looked uncomfortable. "Did you... Well..." Ryou blinked.

"Are... Jou, are you suggesting I gave _birth_ to her?" Ryou asked in alarm, eyes widening. The blonde shrugged.

"Well... I dunno... You know, magic powers and all that... He could..."

"I could what?" They all jumped, and turned around to the doorway, where Bakura stood, arms crossed, leaning against the doorframe. "Magically shove a uterus up Ryou's ass so he could have kids?" Yami's hands' clenched into fists. "No, the baby's not Ryou's. I found it."

"You _found_ it." Yami snarled, clearly unhappy. "I'm sure you did, thief. Who did you steal a baby from and _why_ did you feel the need to do it?"

"For your infor_mation._" Bakura snapped back, his hands on his hips. "She was abandoned. Probably the offspring of a pimp and his crack whore or something. I found her in a dumpster at 2AM, barely alive. What would you do?"

"It's called an orphanage." Yami shot back. "Or a Hospital... Or something! You can't dump a kid on a sixteen year old!"

"Seventeen." Ryou murmured gently, looking down at the little baby. "And I really don't mind..."

"You act like I sit around and do nothing all day!" Bakura retorted, his expression smouldering. "I have fucking college classes to take, I'm out paying the bills most nights, I look after the kid when Ryou's working on his correspondence classes, and when she cries at night, I spend as much time as I can with Ryou... God, what do _you_do apart from sitting on your ass, day in day out playing games?"

"Why you..." Yami would have lunged for Bakura, were it not for the grip Honda and Jounouchi had on his arms. "How dare you speak to me like that?"

"Guys..." Ryou looked down at the baby, who was starting to cry. "Please..."

"Look, what is your fucking problem?" Bakura raged, ignoring Ryou. "What reason have I given you to hate me these past months? I don't get it! I really fucking don't! No matter what I fucking do, you will always have this personal vendetta against me! If I turned into a monk and adopted fifty kids and donated everything I owned to charity and never committed a sin for all eternity, you would still be unhappy!"

"Oh, just stop." Yami growled. "You act as though you're seeking my approval! I know you're not thief! You're just self-centred and controlling and you will _always_ be that way! I feel sorry for Bakura having to put up with you, I really do-"

"You son of a _bitch!" _Jounouchi started, and moved around to grab at Bakura, pulling him away, keeping the pair of spirits separate. "How _dare _you say that! How fucking dare you! I'm gonna-"

"Guys' _STOP." _ Yugi cut in between them, hands held up. "Come on, you're fighting at top volume around a _baby._ What's wrong with you?" Yami shot Bakura a glare, but backed down, eyes still narrowed. The sound of soft cries were the only thing that filled the air. 

"She's hungry." Bakura yanked himself away from Jounouchi, and headed towards Ryou, arms held out. "I'll feed her." Yami frowned deeply, and made a low sound in the back of his throat. "What?" Ryou sighed, giving the crying baby to Bakura, who he cradled gently in his arms. "You don't _trust_ me with her?"

"Of course I don't." Yami muttered, shooting Bakura an intense look of hatred. "It's _you."_

"Fuck you." Bakura's voice dripped with venom, but he simply turned away, holding the baby gently. He walked out of the room slowly, calmly, but everyone could see that he was shaking.

"Fucking _bastard._" Bakura kicked the door behind himself as he got into the kitchen. "I can't _fucking_ believe him." He yanked the pantry door open, and lifted out the large tin of formula, which clanked down hard on the kitchen counter. Sensing his obvious anger, the baby started to cry again. _Shit._ Bakura sighed deeply, and leaned against the pantry door, gently rocking the baby girl from side to side. "Hey, It's okay... Uhh..."_ God**damn** Ryou and I need to come up with a name for her quick. _ "Shhh..." He murmured, brushing back her little thatch of dark hair. She gurgled, and slowly opened her bright little blue eyes that were already starting to look a little greener. "Now, there's no need for tears." He murmured gently, slowly tracing a circle over her chubby round little cheek. "It's okay... The big scary man's gone... He's not gonna yell at me anymore and make you scared." Tiny pink lips widened into a smile. It was so cute how she only smiled for Bakura and Bakura alone. "Now lets get going with that food." Making sure to be a little more quiet and softer, Bakura spooned some of the formula into a bottle, which he filled with water three-quarters' of the way. He screwed the top shut, and shook it violently, stirring the mixture around. "Here we go..." He set it into the microwave, and turned it on. The baby was silent, looking up at Bakura with big blue eyes as he readied her food.

"I don't care what Yami says." Bakura hoisted himself –carefully- up onto the kitchen counter, the rubber top of the bottle hovering over the little girls lips, which opened obediently. "I can take care of you fine. And so can Ryou. I know he wasn't impressed when I brought you home, but within minutes, he was smitten. He understands me. Not like Yami. I may be cold and heartless and cruel, but when I hear a lost little baby crying all alone at night, I'm gonna do something about it. And those Orphanages' are awful. Ryou's been in foster care for a bit, he told me about them."

"'Bout what?" Bakura looked up as Ryou entered the room, a small smile on his face. "I'm just fixing some food."

"Oh. Nothing." Bakura shrugged it off, not wanting to start it over again. "Just talking to the baby. Wasting my time, I know."

"No, you're not." Ryou smiled, opening the fridge. "Well, I don't think you are. I mean, its not like I have memories of it or anything, but doctors and that are pretty sure that babies kinda understand when you talk to them. When you talk, Bakura, you give off this vibe. And because she loves you, she picks up on that." 

"What?" Bakura snorted. "Doubt it. It's been like, a week. How could the little lump love me? You spend way more time with her."

"She only smiles for you." Ryou pointed out. "And you can make her stop crying way faster than me. Bakura, face it." He was bustling around the kitchen, loading up a tray with food. "Whoever the mother was, she would have given birth, and then just dumped it. Imagine how scary and cold and lonely that would be. And then you came along, and held her and wrapped her up so she was warm and calmed her. You were pretty much the first human contact she had. And now, she recognizes your voice and how you hold her, and picks up on that. I think it's sweet."

"Oh, do you." Bakura muttered, but his expression softened as he looked down at the baby girl. "Do you think this is the best thing for her?"

"Bakura, don't listen to Yami." Ryou closed the pantry door, and turned to regard his husband. "You make a wonderful parent. I'll be the motherly one to take great care of her, but when she's walking and talking, it'll be to say your name and walk to you. You're going to be her role model in life."

"Great." Bakura muttered, uncomfortable. "I can't wait for that."

"Bakura, what I'm trying to say is..." Ryou sighed. "She could be in an orphanage, or foster home, or with her mother, or dead. Or with us. Aren't we the best option?"

"I suppose." Bakura sighed, shoulders slumped. "But... Yami is right though. I can't look after a kid. I-"

"Kura, _no._" Ryou sighed, standing in front of Bakura, and placing two hands on his shoulders. "I don't want you to listen to him at all. He hates you, and he can't see you for the wonderful person that you are. He's never going to see you in a good light. But the others can, believe it or not. They don't look at you with the same hate and fear that they used to."

"I'm losing my touch." Bakura muttered, looking back down at the baby, breaking his gaze with Ryou."

"Doubt it." Ryou smiled, placing a quick kiss on Bakura's lips, cautious of the baby. "It's just that the others are starting to understand you, is all. When you get to know more about someone's personality, the reason they maybe angry, or scary, or evil, of course your opinion of them will change."

"Either way..." Bakura sighed deeply. "Can you take the baby for a little bit? I wanna go upstairs and work."

"Sure." Ryou smiled, holding out his arms. Bakura gently slid the little body into the waiting limbs, who accepted the transition with barely a murmur. "Oh, and Kura." The yami paused as he turned to leave. "Love you."

"I love you too." Bakura murmured softly, inclining his head in a slight nod towards the teenager, a rare smile across his face. He closed the door quietly behind him, and walked past the others in the lounge without sparing them a glance. He kept his gaze focused on the floor until he reached his room, a small, bright room at the end of the hallway. He closed the door behind himself, and stared at the painting in the middle of the room, perched on an easel. "Right." His work shirt, an old baggy white tee, stained in paint, was thrown over an arm of the chair, and he picked it up, and pulled it on over his black tank top. Fluffing his hair out from under the collar, Bakura headed firstly to the small stereo on the desk that took up a good chunk of one wall, flicking the _on_ switch. The CD kicked into gear, and in a few seconds, heavy metal that Bakura found currently 'lyrically accurate' filled the room. He found it relaxing. Picking up his small pallet and brush, which rested atop a clump of newspaper, Bakura finally made his way to the painting in the middle of the room. He doused the brush in black, before slowly starting to stroke the already-decorated canvas.

"Who wants to hold the baby?" Ryou beamed ashe entered the living room. "She hasn't messed her diaper, I swear."

"Meee!!" Anzu stretched out her arms expectantly, eyes shining. Suppressing a giggle, but not a smile, Ryou nodded, and made his way to the brown-haired girl, arms held out in offering. "Awwwhhhh..." Once she received the baby, Anzu cradled it close to her chest, looking down into bright blue eyes shot with green. "So cute!"

"I'll be back in a moment." Ryou promised, retreating to the kitchen again to grab the snacks. Yami was beside Anzu, and Yugi leaned over him expectantly, staring down at the bundle of baby. 

"Ohhh... She is cute." He agreed, a single finger brushing at the little tuft of hair. "Bakura is so lucky."

"Oh yes." Ryou murmured mildly as he entered the room again, pushing the door to the kitchen closed with his hip. "She is cute. Especially when she's screaming for Bakura at three in the morning and he's out stealing."

"She doesn't." Everyone turned to stare at Yami, who blushed, just a little. "Scream for the theif I mean. She can't recognize people yet... Can she?"

"Well, babies recognize their mothers right from when they're just born." Ryou picked up a can of soda, which he cracked open. "The first person the baby really saw was Bakura, so she kinda does think of him as her mother. It's cute."

"Have you got a name yet?" Yugi jumped in before Yami could shoot back. "I mean, you can't just call her 'baby' or 'girl' forever."

"That's true." Ryou smiled, before taking a tidy sop of his drink. "Bakura and I have been kicking names around since we just got her. We can't decide if her name should be Egyptian, English, or Japanese. And of course, it has to be pretty."

"You could call her Amane." Jounouchi suggested quietly from his armchair, his coffee-coloured eyes settling on the whitenette. Ryou froze, and lowered his gaze down to his drink.

"I considered it." Ryou nodded weakly, something breaking in his voice. "But... It would just be too hard, you know? I don't want to be reminded of her so much, I mean-"

"It's okay." Jounouchi reassured the whitenette. "I understand." The room was silent for an uncomfortable moment- Save for the loud munching of Honda slowly devouring all the food.

"Can I hold the baby?" Yugi looked over to Ryou, who nodded with a smile "Yes!"

"I don't know how you can." Yami admitted as Yugi gently took the baby for Anzu's arms, and cradled her against his chest. "I'd just be terrified of breaking a bone or dropping her or something."

"I still am." Ryou sighed with a light blush. "Bakura's afraid of it too. Even for a newborn, she's really really little. Bakura reckons that it would have been the mother."

"What, like she was a midget?" Honda swallowed his food to ask the question. Ryou shook his head, without a smile.

"I'm talking about drugs. Smoking, pot, alcohol, cocaine, heroin... and worse. If the mother took anything, the baby would have had it too. And it would have a really bad effect on her. And seeing as she was dumped. I bet the Mum was."

"So she might have problems later on." Yugi looked down at the baby sadly. "Poor girl." 

"Yeah." Ryou leaned back into his own arm chair, looking very deep in thought. "The best we can do really is just hope for the best. I think she'll be okay though."

"Hey, Bakura, where's your bathroom?" Jounouchi stood up, looking anxious. Ryou smiled. 

"It's upstairs. Down the hall, to your left. It's the second-to-last door, and it's got 'Bathroom' written on it. You can't miss it."

"All right." Jounouchi nodded, and almost flew out of the room, and up the stairs, really really _really_ needing to go pee. However, when he hit the hallway, the sound of music coming from behind a closed door at the end made him pause. He knew it was Bakura, but he was still curious. Slowly, he crept along the thick carpet of the hallway, until he was able to rest his hand on the doorknob, and pull the door open.

"Woa." For a moment, when Bakura didn't realise that someone had intruded on his personal space, Jounouchi looked around the room, speechless. Bottles and tubes of paint, newspaper, and empty canvas's stretched across wooden framed littered the floor. The table was full of pieces of paper, mostly sketched on, and paintbrushes, while an abundance of paintings hung on the walls. 

"Hi, mutt." Bakura didn't look up from his picture as Jounouchi exclaimed softly. The blonde frowned, but couldn't be bothered in correcting the yami. It wasn't like he would ever take notice. "Why are you here?"

"Just kinda curious." Jounouchi tried to sound as nonchalant as he could, and it was working. "That's a pretty painting."

"Thanks." Bakura muttered, working on detailing near the bottom with a very, very fine paintbrush. "And don't ask me what it means, cos I don't know. I really don't."

"Soo... It's not you and Ryou?" Two figures, one light light gold, the other the darkest purple, angular, and yet flowing, stretched out towards each other across a greying landscape. 

"Congratulation, genius." Bakura's teeth were gritted, trying to concentrate. "Do you want your medal now, or later?"

"Ha ha ha." Jounouchi mutered sarcastically. "I was just asking... Do you have to be nasty to everyone?"

"Yep." Bakura didn't break his gaze with the canvas. "You got a problem?"

"Actually, yeah." Jounouchi walked a little more into the room. "You know, you don't have to push away everyone that tries to have contact with you."

"What if I don't want their contact?" Bakura sighed, starting to get aggravated. "I'm not like some social hungry desperate. I can do perfectly fine without spilling my problems to legions of so-called 'friends'."

"You have to talk to someone about how you feel." Jounouchi rationalized. "You can't be bottled up forever."

"I don't." Bakura muttered, finally giving up, and lowering his paint brush from the canvas. "I have a ther- Why do I even have to explain myself to you?" He turned around, a frown on his face.

"A Ther?" Jounouchi knitted his eyebrows together in though. "Ther..." He blinked. "A-"

"Yes, a therapist." Bakura rolled his eyes. "Wow you're really on a roll today mutt. Good job!"

"Why?" Jounouchi was starting to have some trouble keeping his cool. "I just never saw you as the kind of guy admitting you had an emotional problem."

"Of course I have a problem." Bakura muttered. "I'm cold, arrogant, have a shitload of emotional baggage, I'm a sad-masochist, I have huge anger problems... How far down the list do you want me to go?"

"But..." Jounouchi was confused. "Aren't you happy with you are?"

"Of course." Bakura set down the paint brush and pallet. "But come on. Ryou deserves someone who can actually comprehend human emotions. That's not too much to ask for, is it?"

"No." Jounouchi looked surprisingly relaxed. "Hey, I gotta take a leak. But thanks."

"For what?" Bakura raised an eyebrow.

"Just talking." Jounouchi turned away, closing the door behind himself without another word. Bakura sighed, and leaned against the edge of the desk, looking thoughtful. _Well he was amazingly perceptive... Heh. Stupid mutt._ Bakura stretched as he stood back up, a crick in his neck from looking gown towards the bottom of the painting for so long. _Oh well. Time to get back to it._ It was strange, really, the solace that he found in his bizarre art. 

"You took some time." Honda remarked, as Jounouchi walked back into the lounge. The blonde only shot him a dirty look, before plopping back down into the soft armchair. "What were you doing?"

"Just talking." Jou said airily, shooting the white-haired boy an odd, knowing glance. Ryou shot him a rare smile, and settled back down to look at the baby girl in his arms. Yami growled. "What?"

"I just don't think you should be associating with him." He crossed his arms. "He's no good."

"That's not fair." Ryou argued. "He's changed a lot, Yami. He really has. He's a lot more... mature than he used to be. I mean, emotionally. He's not just cold and angry anymore. I mean, hell Jou, you had a civil conversation with him."

"Barely." Jou muttered, rolling his eyes. But he couldn't help but let the flash of a smile pass his lips.

* * *

"You're late."

"Oh, whatever." Bakura threw his wallet and keys down on the glass-topped table with a loud _clang_, throwing his leather jacket over the back of the seat. A few people turned to stare. "I was preoccupied."

"Painting?" Sanami leaned back in her chair a little, unable to hide a smile. "You have grey on your face..." She indicated just above her eyebrow. "There."

"Oh." Bakura rubbed at his skin with his knuckle, scowling. "Look, that doesn't matter, does it? I got here"

"No." Sanami looked down the newspaper. "This was interesting enough to read. Did you know that the most secure bank in the tri-city area was busted into last night? It's headline news."

"Really?" Bakura forced a look of mild interest on his face. Sanami nodded, a strange expression on her face.

"Yep. Almost seven million dollars were stolen. People are wondering how someone could have done it."

"What?" Bakura snorted. "Come on, with the right tools, and skills, and... _abilities_, anyone can pull off a bank robbery." Sanami frowned, and continued to read the page.

"Mhmm." She sounded testy. "They also got a few photos. One of the thief. He's wearing all black though, and his face is covered. He's kinda short, and really skinny. Like you."

"Yeah, well." Bakura lounged back into his chair, his insides glowing with self-satisfaction. "It's not an uncommon body shape or anything."

"Bakura, cut the crap." She snapped, causing the white-haired man to jump in fright. "They got a photo of the car. A black Mercedes, the same model as yours, and you _just_ bought a brand new car. I wasn't born yesterday."

"Look, keep your _voice_ down." Bakura leaned forward to hiss at her. "You think I want to get arrested? Huh?"

"Seven million?" She shot back, sounding almost as angry. "Bakura, how could you steal seven million dollars? Honestly! People are going to go bankrupt over this!"

"Not my fault." Bakura just looked pleased with himself. "Oh, come on." He lowered his voice, checking himself. "I just bought that new house and I have to get all this shit for the baby and I had an expensive honeymoon to pay for, and not to mention college fees... I needed cash, all right?"

"You are unbe_liev_able." She muttered, scowling at him. "Really."

"You're not gonna rat on me, are you?" Bakura's voice sounded deadly. "I would rather I _didn't_ have to kill you."

"Of course I'm not telling anyone." She sighed. "Although I should. I really really should." Bakura just looked nonchalant, and a few not entirely comfortable moments passed. "So... Why did you call me here?" Sanami stared at her coffee, her expression turning sombre. "We have an appointment scheduled next week, what made you want to talk this afternoon?"

"I... I've been thinking." Bakura looked down at his knees through the tinted glass top. "I spoke with this guy earlier this afternoon... And, well, he made me realise something." 

"Which is?" The woman prompted gently, taking a sip of her coffee. Bakura took in a deep, long breath, and closed his eyes.

"I think..." He swallowed. "I think I'm ready to tell Ryou that I've forgiven him." There was a soft _clack_ as Sanami set down her coffee cup rather abruptly. "No?"

"Bakura, that's _fantastic!"_ She broke into a wide smile, her voice raising. More people turned to look at the pair, who made virtually the only noise in the modern cafe. "I _knew_ that you would eventually come around!"

"Well... Yeah." Bakura blew at his bangs, which were dripping into his eyes uncomfortably. "I mean... with the new house and the baby and the college stuff... And this relationship with Ryou... It's so _different_ than what I thought it would be. It's... more settled. And comfortable. I mean, we're just as passionate as we used to be. It's like we have this... Stability."

"And you think you can honestly forgive him for what he did?" Bakura nodded, biting his lip as he stared down through the glass. 

"Do you think I'm ready?" Bakura looked up at the woman, a serious look on his face. "Honestly. Tell the truth." 

"To tell the truth..." Sanami stared down into her half-drunk coffee. "Bakura, once you say that to Ryou, you can't ever take it back. And to learn that you've forgiven him is going to make him ecstatic." 

"So?" Bakura frowned. "What do you think?"

"I think..." Sanami took another sip of her cooling coffee. "I think that you should tell Ryou you've forgiven him. If you really have."

"I have!" Bakura shot back, his hands tensing. "I have forgiven Ryou! I mean, I'm still angry about the whole thing, but this time waiting has shown me something. It's... sorta put me in Ryou's shoes a little bit. I mean. I can sorta understand where he's coming from. He didn't have any feelings for Malik. I get that. They were just friends. But Malik was in love with him, and Ryou was really desperate and lonely." Bakura sighed deeply. "And Ryou's tried so hard to earn my forgiveness. I have to give it to him after all this." He looked up, at the woman who sat across from him smiling. "What?"

"I never thought I could hear you speak so... Rationally." She commented. "I don't wanna sound arrogant or condescending or anything Bakura, but I'm so glad that you've seen the light here. I really am. You should be proud of yourself."

"I know it sounds self-absorbed... But I sort of am." Bakura didn't smile though. "I kinda like the way I can actually be honest with myself. I don't get hang-ups on everything like I used to. I mean, I don't explode over nothing. That was fun but..."

"Far from convenient." Sanami muttered dryly. "Like when you assaulted me and my assistant?"

"I apologized for that!" Bakura shot back. "I was messed up, okay?"

"I know." The woman sighed. "Believe me, I know. But look. The point is, you are so much more mature emotionally than you were when I saw you... God, almost two years ago now. I know you can tell Ryou you forgive him and actually mean it."

"Yeah." Bakura stood up, his palms on the table. "I can."

"And tell me what happens next week. And don't try bailing out of it either. You need to keep the formal therapy sessions up."

"I know." Bakura pulled on his jacket, jamming his wallet and keys into their respective pockets. "All right. I'm off to tell Ryou what he's been dying to hear for nine months." _Oh shit. Shit shit shit._ "Later."

"Mhmm." The black-haired woman drained the rest of her coffee, and stretched a little in her chair. 

* * *

"Ryou." 

The teenager looked up from the slowly bubbling of pasta sauce, his expression instantly lighting up.

"Bakura!" Ryou hastily set down the wooden spoon, and ran towards the yami, wrapping him in a tight embrace. "Where did you _go?_ I went to ask what you wanted for dinner and you must have slipped out while I was with Yugi and the others..."

"I did." Bakura stepped back from the teenager, looking down at him tenderly. "Hmm, dinner smells good. Don't burn it."

"As if I would." But Ryou still returned to his stove, and picked up the spoon again. "It's almost ready. Can you get me out some plates please?"

"Sure." Bakura walked over the cupboard, but instead of getting the plain white stoneware, he picked out the delicate china, spangled with artsy-looking drips of blue paint. Bakura grabbed also, the good silverware, and walked it into the dining room. Ryou noticed he took a few trips back and forth, and wondered what he was doing, but was too preoccupied with figuring out what spices to add to the sauce.

"Okay, Bakura." Ryou announced a few minutes later, applying oven mitts and walking over to the island in the kitchen, were the plates were dished out. The teenager was too distracted, trying to not burn himself, which was why he didn't notice that nice china was being used. He put the pasta spirals on first, then the sauce, dusting it off with some cheese.

"Looks great." Bakura grinned, picking up both of the plates. "Now follow."

"What... Can't we just eat it here?" He referred to the stools against the tiled island. Bakura shook his head, and kicked the door open, leading Ryou into the dining room. "Bakura, what are you- _Kura." _Ryou froze as he stood in the doorway, eyes wide. Bakura had set the table ready for an intimate dinner for two, with candles, a vase of roses in the middle, champagne in a bottle of ice. "_Oh..._" He stood, absolutely still, as Bakura set down the plates, a smile on his face. "I... _Wow._"

"Come on." Bakura tugged at his arm with eagerness of a child, pulling out Ryou's chair for him. Ryou sat down shakily, staring at the scene around him.

"Bakura... What is this?" Bakura sat across from him, staring, noticing the way Ryou's eyes glinted in the candlelight, and how soft and warm his skin looked. "What's happening?"

"I wanted to tell you something." Bakura stretched his hand out across the table, which Ryou took. "And I didn't want it to just be a normal dinner when I say it."

"Say what?" Ryou tilted his head to one side, confused. "Please tell me..." Bakura took in a deep breath, and closed his eyes as he let it out.

"Ryou... I've been thinking a lot for the past couple of weeks about us." Ryou's hand tightened, and something started hurting in his chest. _No. He's breaking up with me. Noo..._ He let Bakura talk, his stomach feeling cold. "And about what you and Malik did."

"No." Ryou's voice broke, and he bowed his head, trying so hard not to cry. "Bakura, y-you c-can't leave me-"

"Ryou." The whitenette sniffed, and slowly looked up, his lower lip trembling. "Let me talk, okay?" Ryou nodded weakly, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "Okay." He cupped a hand over Ryou's, his grasp strong, secure, and comforting. Ryou tried, and failed to relax. "I was so incredibly angry at what you did. I didn't stop to think about how you would have felt, or the context it was in, or anything. But there's something I've learned over the past few months Ryou, and that's empathy." Bakura swallowed. "I thought a lot about it, and I allowed myself to realise that at the time, you were desperate. And not just that, you were depressed and upset, and more than anything, you were lonely." Ryou blinked, unsure. "I realised that you weren't in love with Malik, and you never meant to hurt me. And that you truly, truly regretted what you did. And I suppose, that when I thought about all that, and everything that I've done to you since and how happy we both are now..." Bakura looked down at his plate for a second, before raising his gaze to look Ryou straight in the eye. "Ryou, I'm saying that I forgive you for sleeping with Malik."

"Wh-What?" Ryou was in disbelief. "A... Are you serious?" Bakura nodded, looking nervous. "You... _forgive_ me?"

"... I do." Bakura murmured, lowering his gaze. "Ryou... There's something about you that just makes me unable to stay mad at you forever. I've had a long time to simmer down and let my emotions settle. And when I did that, I was able to think clearly. And I was truly able to understand why Malik slept with you. And when I understood, I was able to find it in my heart to forgive you." Bakura fell quiet, locking eyes with Ryou. Both of them were silent for a long time. "... Ryou? Say something."

"I... I don't know what to say." Ryou's face was slowly breaking into a grin. "Bakura... I'm just so happy..." 

"You're not pissed at me?" Bakura asked tentatively. Ryou looked confused.

"Bakura... What... Why would I ever be angry with you? Your anger was justified. If you'd done that to me, I would have been that mad at you too. But... You've forgiven me. And we can really truly put all of this behind us and move in."

"... Yeah." Ryou placed his other hand over Bakura's staring at his expression in the candlelight. "We can..." Bakura smiled at Ryou, his eyes warm and comforting. "Come here." Ryou giggled, and released his hands from Bakura's flinging back his chair. He ran around the side of the table, and flung himself into Bakura's waiting lap, wrapping his arms around the yami's neck in a tight embrace. 

"Kura, I love you so much." He mumbled against the skin of Bakura's collarbone, his heart soaring. Bakura smiled again, and when Ryou pulled back to examine his face, he leaned in for a kiss.

"There's just..." Bakura murmured as he pulled away. "There's one thing that I need to know." Ryou nodded gently, wanting Bakura to continue. "Malik..."

"Yeah?" He asked, questioning. "Kura?"

"Is he better than me?" The yami came out and said it. Ryou's eyes widened, and a blush formed on his cheeks. "Hm?"

"Oh Kura..." Ryou grinned, shaking his head and giggling. "Bakura, no. You're way better than him. But of course you are. Okay, Maliks' a slut, yeah, but he's still a teenager. Of course you would be better."

"Yesss..." Bakura smirked, wanting to punch the air. "I'll tell that next time I see him." Ryou bowed his head, and shook it, giggling. "What?"

"You're both as bad as each other." He sighed, leaning his head against Bakura's chest. "But I'm glad you're still friends with him."

"Yeah." Bakura's arms encircled Ryou's waist. "Me too, actually. But I'm still shitty with him."

"I know." Ryou stared lazily at a candle-flame. "He knows it too."

"Yeah." Bakura kissed the top of Ryou's head. "But it's not my fault." Ryou giggled as Bakura placed his lips on Ryou's temple. "I just wanna have you..." He trailed a soft path of kisses down the side of Ryou's face. The teen arched his neck in response. "All..." He nibble the spot under Ryou's earlobe, his hands slowly sinking past the line of Ryou's shirt, and into the waistband of his jeans. "To..." Ryou sighed, his hair falling down his back as he leaned back a little, giving Bakura easier access to his creamy neck. "Myself." Bakura broke his lips from Ryou's skin, bony hands sliding up his back. Ryou moaned softly, and shifted a leg, lifting it over Bakura so he was straddling him, dipping his head down to kiss his lover on the lips. Bakura returned the kiss fiercely, hiking Ryou's shirt further and further up his torso as his hands wandered, Ryou's own resting on Bakura's skinny shoulders. 

"MMm... Okay." Ryou blushed deeply as he pulled away, his heart racing. "This is pretty much the only room we haven't made love in... can we keep it like that?"

"Tease." Ryou squeaked, and jumped as Bakura groped at his round little bum with a smirk. "How's the baby?"

"Out to it." Ryou sighed in response, noticing the baby monitor on the table. "She crashed out, should be good until morning, seeing as she didn't sleep last night at _all._"

"Then I got a plan." Bakura was teasingly tracing shapeless patterns across Ryou's stomach as he talked, the whitenette biting his lip to keep from whining. "How about we eat this, take the champagne to the bedroom, and have an early night... if you know what I mean..."

"Yes." Ryou's eyes were half-lidded, his breathing coming out in gasps. "Yes..." 

"Great." Bakura pecked Ryou's lips, and smacked him lightly on the bum to bring him back down to earth. "Lets eat then. Quickly." 

Ryou smiled, and stared deep into Bakura's eyes, who, for the first time in _so_ long, was able to genuinely look him in the eye with not even the vaguest trace of anger or mistrust. Overjoyed, and brimming with relief, Ryou leaned down, and kissed him again.

"I love you Bakura." He murmured against the skin of his neck when he pulled away, arms tight around his neck. Bakura chuckled into Ryou's sweet-smelling hair, as fluffy as ducklings' down, trailing his fingertips up and down Ryou's spine.

"I love you too."

* * *

Awwwhhh... Everyone have a little cry now. I know I will T.T

For gods' sake, review this chapter! Even if you haven't reviewed it ever before! It's the last chapter man.

But hey. I try.

LATERS Y'ALL! 


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